Category: Vaginal Orgasm

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The 10 types of orgasms people with vulvas can have

by Nikki Thorburn

The different types and how to experience them.

As you’re probably aware, orgasms feel amazing. You’ve probably got your spots, positions, strokes, touches and caresses that you know will get you there; to the pinnacle, to the peak.

But what if there was a whole horizon you hadn’t yet explored? What if there were orgasms you didn’t realise your body was capable of?

What is an orgasm?

Before we begin, let’s be clear about what we’re talking about when we say ‘orgasm’. Dr Sheryl A Ross, an obstetrician and gynaecologist, describes an orgasm as a “physical reflex that occurs when muscles tighten during sexual arousal and then relax through a series of rhythmic contractions”.

Many orgasms centre on the vagina only, while others induce that profound intensity in places you’d never considered as erogenous zones. Research suggests that physiologically speaking, all orgasms trigger the same physical experience, no matter what ‘type’ we’re talking about.

As well as this physical experience, orgasms provide an emotional release and even lead to altered states of consciousness. They increase dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine, and testosterone levels which “improve our moods and cognition, and diminish anxiety and stress responses”, says Monica Grover, an obstetrician and gynaecologist at New York’s VSpot. Let’s take a closer look at 10 different kinds of orgasms and how people with vulvas can experience them.

Clitoral orgasm

The clitoral orgasm is caused by stimulation of the clitoris, which is known as the pleasure centre of the vulva seated at the top of the vaginal opening. It’s densely packed with nerve endings, (like the penis) but unlike the penis, it doesn’t play a central role in reproduction – it’s just there to make you feel good!

How to have a clitoral orgasm

Stimulating the external part of the clitoris with a finger, tongue, or vibrator is the way to achieve a clitoral orgasm. Sex therapist Janet Wolfe suggests going solo at first, as masturbation allows you to explore what works for you, and then better direct your sexual partner.

G-spot orgasm

You’ve probably heard of the elusive G-spot and its potential in providing you with an earth-shattering vaginal orgasm. The confusing thing about the G-spot we need to be clear about is this – it’s not a distinct part of your anatomy, but rather it’s part of your clitoral network (basically, when you’re stimulating the G-spot, you’re stimulating part of the clitoris).

Researchers say the G-spot may be located on the front wall of the vagina but it varies a lot from woman to woman which explains why it’s so difficult to locate. Once stimulated though, it can cause female ejaculation and that earth-shattering vaginal orgasm we’ve all dreamt of.

How to have a G-spot orgasm

Finding the G-spot can be difficult so experts encourage discovery through self-exploration first. Begin by massaging the opening of your vagina before inserting your fingers or a sex toy and lifting either fingers or the sex toy upward towards your belly button in a ‘come hither’ motion.

Sex therapist Dr Wendasha Jenkins-Hall emphasises that there’s no ‘button’ you’re trying to reach, but rather it’s about being open and curious as to what feels good for you and your body in that area.

Exercise-induced orgasm or ‘coregasm’

Yes, this is real and yes, it’s an orgasm caused by exercise, particularly weight training, cardio and abdominal-focused exercise. Suddenly that gym membership sounds a whole lot more appealing, huh?

Described as ‘less intense’ but still pleasurable by those who’ve experienced it, it happens as a result of contracting the pelvic floor muscles when you engage your muscles to stabilise the core. The sensation will mostly be felt in the lower abdominals, inner thighs, or pelvis.

How to have a coregasm

While experts have suggested that coregasms often happen by accident, there are certain things you can do to increase your likelihood of having one. Using mindfulness to bring awareness to your body during exercise can increase your chances of having a coregasm during a workout.

Focusing your workout on strengthening the core and incorporating Kegel exercises can also greatly increase your chances, as well as doing 20 to 30 minutes of cardio at the start of your workout which can lead to greater sexual arousal.

Sleep orgasm

You’ve probably all had a sensual dream before but did you know that it’s possible to have an orgasm while sleeping? Yep, a full-blown orgasm while you’re not even awake.

Experts suggest that sleep orgasms start with an erotic dream which causes deep relaxation and increased blood flow to the genitals which increases psychogenic arousal. According to scientific research, around 37 per cent of women will experience sleep orgasms by the age of 45.

How to have a sleep orgasm

Experts have suggested that sleeping on your stomach can lead to a greater chance of achieving a sleep orgasm. This position of sleeping triggers more clitoral stimulation and is associated with an increase in vivid dreams.

Going to bed thinking about sex and sexual fantasies has also been suggested as a way to increase your chances as well as touching your nipples before bed to increase arousal.

The blended orgasm

If one orgasm wasn’t enough then how about double the pleasure with a blended orgasm? This happens when the clitoral and vaginal orgasm occurs simultaneously, through vaginal penetration and stimulation of the external glans of the clitoris. It’s been known to last from one to 15 minutes, climaxing in what researchers have called, a ‘giant’ orgasm.

How to have a blended orgasm

Dr Jane Greer, a New York-based marriage and sex therapist suggests that the woman-on-top position can be a great way to achieve blended orgasms as the woman is able to be in full control of the spots receiving attention. The missionary position can also be effective for a blended orgasm because the woman’s clitoris is also being rubbed through penetration.

The skin orgasm

Ever had that feeling of getting ‘goosebumps’ or ‘chills’ while listening to your favourite song or piece of music? Well, you’ve probably experienced a skin orgasm or a ‘frisson’. A study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology describes a ‘frisson’ as “a musically induced effect associated with a pleasant tingling feeling”.

Researchers believe that these sensations are caused by sudden or unexpected changes in the music – key changes, unexpected harmonies and peaks in loudness and they aren’t localised to any one region of the body.

How to have a skin orgasm

Classical music in particular is specifically linked to this phenomenon, however, researchers suggest that you are far more likely to have physical reactions to music that’s familiar to you. So, what we suggest – find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed, get those headphones out, press play on your favourite song and let the skin titillation begin.

Anal orgasm

Now while anal may not be everyone’s go-to position, in folks with vaginas, the anus and rectum’s close proximity to the nerve-dense pelvic floor area and internal clitoris, can lead to what experts describe as a pretty amazing orgasm.

The anal penetration stimulates the A-spot in the vagina, which is located about five or six inches inside the vagina and is particularly nerve dense, which heightens the intensity of the anal orgasm.

How to have an anal orgasm

Experts suggest that being relaxed and aroused is key to anal penetration. Tips include taking a hot bath before anal play which will loosen tight muscles and increase blood flow to your erogenous zones.

Practising with a butt plug can also give you a good feel for anal play before trying it with your partner, as well as making sure you use a lot of lube – in fact, experts say that when it comes to anal, there’s no such thing as too much lube.

Nipple orgasm

The nipple orgasm is caused by stimulation of the nipple, which is an erogenous zone. In fact, each nipple has hundreds of nerve endings, making them super sensitive and a great way to induce pleasure with enough stimulation. It’s been described as something that happens quite gradually and then explodes into a powerful climax that comes in waves. Sounds pretty sexy, right?

How to have a nipple orgasm

Experts suggest that self-exploration with your nipples is the best way to achieve a nipple orgasm. Take your time to play with your nipples and breasts and figure out what feels good for you. Using fingers, oils, clamps and nipple vibrators can ramp up the stimulation as can exploring other erogenous zones like the clitoris simultaneously.

Squirting orgasm

Yep, in case you wondering, female ejaculation is absolutely a thing! Squirting is a form of ejaculation where a fluid, found to have similar chemical properties to urine as well as semen, is released from the vulva during orgasm. According to one study in 2017, 69 per cent of women have experienced it and it’s believed that anyone with a vagina is able to squirt.

How to have a squirting orgasm

Experts suggest the key to squirting is being relaxed and in the mood because squirting involves such a big release. In order to squirt, the vagina and vulva need to be at peak arousal so it’s important to take things slow, suggests AASECT-certified sex therapist Dr Jenni Skyler.

Stimulation of the G-spot is also central to squirting as well as learning to control the pelvic floor muscles and knowing when to contract and release. Using lube and being open to getting messy is also key.

Cervical orgasm

The cervical orgasm is induced by stimulation of or the pressing against the cervix, which is the neck of tissue that joins the top of the vagina to the lower part of the uterus. Deep penetration is needed to stimulate the cervix, which is why being intentional about how to reach a cervical orgasm is key.

How to have a cervical orgasm

Experts emphasise that it’s important to take it slow and make sure that you are relaxed and aroused. Foreplay is key as is communication with your partner about what feels good. Positions such as doggie style, which allow for deep penetration, are known to be the best for having a cervical orgasm.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to use Kegels to orgasm harder, boost sensation, and increase lubrication

By Kelly Burch

  • Kegels can benefit your sex life by increasing sensation, lubrication, and the ability to orgasm.
  • They also can help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which helps prevent vaginal prolapse.
  • To do kegels, contract and release the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine.

If you’re looking to enhance your sex life, there may be a solution that you can do any time, anywhere: kegel exercise. Kegel exercises engage your pelvic floor muscles. They can keep you healthy and may even make your sex life more fulfilling says sexologist and sexuality educator Lawrence Siegel, who works with couples and individuals to enhance their sex lives.

While doing Kegels won’t make you a better lover, they may make it easier for people with a vagina to orgasm, Siegel says. They may help the 10%-15% of women who have never had an orgasm, and others who find it difficult to orgasm.

And it’s not just people with a vagina who can reap the benefits of Kegels — birth-assigned males can also experience heightened sexual pleasure from strengthening their pelvic floor Siegel says.

Here’s why they are beneficial and how to do them.

The benefits of Kegels for people with a vagina

Kegels have the most benefit for people with a vagina.

1. Make your pelvic floor stronger

“Kegel exercises are a simple and effective way to strengthen those pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder, and bowel,” says Dr. Sherry Ross, an OB-GYN and author of “She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health.”

The pelvic floor includes the levator ani, coccygeus, and pubococcygeal (PC) muscle, the ones you use to stop the flow of urine. These muscles act like a hammock or sling supporting the internal organs in the pelvis — but they often weaken with age, especially in people who have given birth vaginally.

Strengthening these muscles can help you avoid:

  • Incontinence, or the inability to hold pee or poop until you make it to the toilet.
  • Pain during sex
  • Vaginal prolapse, a condition where the vagina muscles weaken and sag into the vaginal canal.
  • Pelvic floor dysfunction, or the inability to control your pelvic floor muscles.

2. Increase sensation and lubrication

Kegels can boost blood flow to the pelvis, which increases sensation and lubrication of the vagina. Many people find that increased lubrication increases pleasure for both partners during sex.

In addition, Kegels help prevent pelvic floor dysfunction. Women with pelvic floor dysfunction often have lower sexual satisfaction, fewer orgasms, and lower libido. Researchers can’t say exactly why, but it may be because conditions like prolapse or incontinence make it difficult to get in the mood.

3. Strengthen orgasm for both partners

Learning to activate the pelvic floor muscles allows you to contract them during sex.

Squeezing your pelvic muscles in the buildup to orgasm may help you experience a more powerful sensation when you come, says Ross. During orgasm, muscles throughout the body pulse and release involuntarily. Adding to this with kegels can make the sensation more intense.

It can also boost pleasure for your partner: “When a woman does Kegels during vaginal intercourse, the pelvic floor muscles contract on the penis — enhancing his sexual experience as well,” Ross says.

4. Make pelvic exams less painful

Relaxing the muscles during a Kegel is equally important as contracting. Learning to relax can reduce your risk of pain during sex or painful pelvic exams by letting you open the vagina more fully, says Harris.

Kegel benefits for people with a penis

Keeping the pelvic floor healthy is important for people with a penis too.

Kegels can help with male incontinence. This is especially important for people who have had prostate surgery, who often experience incontinence.

Doing Kegels regularly can also improve sexual experience for people with a penis. This is because Kegels increase blood flow to the groin and penis, which can boost sensation and may help combat erectile dysfunction (ED).

Unfortunately, there’s limited research in this area. A small 2005 study found that men with ED who performed Kegels in addition to making lifestyle changes had fewer ED symptoms than a control group. A small 2020 study suggested that kegels may be helpful for ED when they’re done long term.

“While Kegel exercises are primarily associated with women, many men can get similar benefits from doing them,” Siegel says.

How to get started with doing Kegels

Before you can do Kegels, you need to understand the muscles that you’re trying to activate.

How to find your pelvic floor muscles

The easiest way to find your pelvic floor muscles is to imagine that you’re urinating. From there, try to stop the imaginatory stream by contracting your PC muscles, says Ross. This works for both males and females. Try to tighten those muscles without tightening your legs, abs, or glutes.

People with a vagina can take a more hands-on approach to feeling their pelvic floor muscles, Ross says:

  1. Insert two fingers into your vagina.
  2. Contract your PC muscles, which you would use to stop the flow of urine.
  3. As they contract, feel a light squeeze on your fingers.
  4. Relax fully, and feel the grip on your fingers loosen.

People with a penis can find their pelvic floor muscles by trying to tighten their rectum. It’s the same movement that you might use if you’re trying to hold in a fart.

How to do Kegels

Once you’ve isolated your pelvic floor muscles, the foundation of doing Kegels is the same for all genders.

Here’s how to do them.

1. Empty your bladder. As you become more accustomed to doing Kegels you’ll be able to do them anywhere, anytime, but it’s best not to do them with a full bladder since that can strain your muscles.

2. Contract your PC muscles. Hold for 3-5 seconds when you first start. Build toward the goal of holding for ten seconds.

3. Relax your muscles entirely. Keep them relaxed for the same length of time that you held them tight.

4. Repeat this 10-15 times, three times a day. “The key to Kegels is consistency and regularity, doing them several times a day,” Siegel says.

After you’ve mastered that, try flutter Kegels, Ross says. With this variation, you contract and relax the muscles quickly, rather than holding the contraction. Do this for 30 seconds.

When you’re performing Kegels, keep these tips in mind:

  • Breath normally. Don’t hold your breath.
  • Keep your abs, thighs and butt relaxed. This helps isolate the pelvic floor muscles.
  • Find a regular time to do Kegels each day, like while at stop lights or while brushing your teeth.

Insider’s takeaway

Kegel exercises teach you how to contract and relax your pelvic floor muscles. This helps you build a strong pelvic floor which can help with things like incontinence and sexual satisfaction.

Kegels are convenient because they can be done discreetly anywhere, at any time. Anyone can benefit from them, and they’re safe for everyone. The most challenging part about them is working them into your daily routine consistently.

“There are absolutely no downsides to doing Kegel exercises,” says Ross. “Once you learn how to do them correctly, Kegels should be a permanent part of your daily routine.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How an orgasm affects your body and mind for the following 60 minutes

From the moment of orgasm to 60 minutes after, find out exactly what happens to your body.

By Hannah Millington

The benefits of an orgasm are widely known. They can relieve stress, aid sleep and even boost the immune system. But understanding exactly what happens to us mentally and physically after reaching climax is something few of us explain.

There’s more going on internally than we might realise, with our body still feeling the effects 60 minutes later. From the moment of orgasm, there are many different chemical, physiological and psychological changes that take place.

The main findings, from sex toy experts Bedbible, are pretty fascinating.

0 minutes after an orgasm

After achieving an orgasm, the brain is hit with a powerful wave of dopamine, creating a high similar to the euphoria of taking heroin.

10 minutes after an orgasm

For some, ‘post-sex blues’ can take effect fairly quickly after orgasm, with sudden feelings of depression and agitation created as a result of the dopamine levels dropping.

30 minutes after an orgasm

Blood pressure and heart rate should return to normal and muscles in the penis or vagina might begin to cramp due to the muscles contracting at an intense rate.

40 minutes after an orgasm

Sleepiness is common 40 minutes after, this is due to both the exercise underwent to achieve orgasm and the mental exhaustion that comes with the rise and fall of dopamine levels.

60 minutes after an orgasm

Whilst it differs from man to man, some men will take longer than an hour to recover post-orgasm, this is known as the refractory period. Women, however, tend to recover at a faster rate.

In terms of sexual arousal, specifically in women, NHS GO lists the process in order for women and men as: arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution.

What happens in in a male and female’s bodies during the orgasm stage is slightly different.

Orgasm in women

  • Orgasm is the intense and pleasurable release of sexual tension that has built up in the earlier stages (whether during sex, masturbation etc). It involves contractions (muscles tightening and relaxing, 0.8 seconds apart) of the genital muscles
  • Most women don’t experience the ‘recovery period’ that men do after an orgasm. A woman can have another orgasm if she’s stimulated again
  • Not all women have an orgasm every time they have sex. For most women, foreplay is an important role in it occurring at all. This can include touching certain parts of the body and and stimulating the clitoris

And for ‘stage three: orgasm and ejaculation’ for men, the page states:

Orgasm in men

  • A series of contractions send semen into the urethra, which is the tube that urine and semen come out of from the penis
  • These contractions occur in the pelvic floor muscles (which support the bowel and bladder), in the tube that carries sperm from the testicles to the penis
  • They also occur in the seminal vesicles (glands that produce fluids) and the prostate gland (a small gland in the pelvis, between the penis and bladder), which both add fluid to the sperm. This mix of sperm (5%) and fluid (95%) is called semen
  • These contractions are part of orgasm, and the man can reach a point where he can’t stop ejaculation happening
  • Contractions of the prostate gland and the pelvic floor muscles then lead to ejaculation, when semen comes out of the penis

  • The misunderstood female orgasm

    Research from last month also concluded that ‘moaning’ is not part of the female orgasm and that it should be removed from analysis of women climaxing.

    Pre, peri, and post-menopausal women were asked in a questionnaire about their orgasm experiences both with and without a partner.

    Questions were based on the Orgasm Rating Scale (ORS) and the Bodily Sensations of Orgasm (BSOS), which are commonly used in related scientific research.

    The BSOS includes descriptions like ‘faster breathing’, ‘lower limb spasms’, ‘facial tingling’, ‘sweating’ and ‘increased heart rate’.

    While the researchers at the University of Ottawa found bodily sensations in both scales to be present, including ‘choppy/shallow breathing’, ‘increased blood pressure’ and ‘hot flashes’, they recommended that ‘copulatory vocalisations’ (moaning) should be removed from the BSOS.

    Essentially, moaning may be at least partly under a women’s control, even if they don’t realise.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to never fake an orgasm again

Those days are OVER.

by Cassandra Green

There’s no denying the statistical proof of an ‘orgasm gap’ between men and women, but while performing a climax might ease tensions in the short term, it won’t do much for your future pleasure.

We all remember that iconic scene from the 1989 hit film When Harry Met Sally, during which Meg Ryan’s character Sally sits in the middle of a crowded diner and fakes an orgasm.

When Harry, played by Billy Crystal, says he would know if a woman faked it, Sally responds, “All men are sure it never happened to them, and most women at one time or another have done it, so you do the math.” Thirty three years on, and women still face an orgasm gap.

A study in the Archives Of Sexual Behavior from the International Academy Of Sex Research found that heterosexual men were most likely to report they “usually- always” orgasm during sex (95 per cent), compared to 65 per cent of heterosexual women.

According to Christine Rafe, sex and relationship expert for Womanizer, there are a few patterns that could explain these statistics. “Many women have not learnt how to ask for what they want and need to orgasm,” she explains, adding that it is sometimes easier to fake it than explain why it isn’t happening. “A recent study found that the perceived ego of a sexual partner impacts the likelihood of faking orgasms.”

There is also the issue of a lack of education. “Society still perpetuates a narrative that penetrative sex is the most pleasurable… which does not align with what we know to be the anatomy of pleasure for a vulva and vagina owner. External clitoral stimulation is an essential part of orgasm for many vulva owners,” she says.

Rafe adds that pornography has its part to play, often misrepresenting climax for women.

“People describe being left feeling that there is something wrong with their body for not responding the way that bodies in pornography do.”

The burgeoning sexual wellness movement places greater awareness on the “orgasm” as a goal for both partners, which can encourage a healthy effort on both sides. Rafe says she has noticed a decrease in women faking orgasms in her practice.

But, is this growing awareness around “orgasm” a help or a hindrance?

Dr Suzanne Belton PhD, a medical anthropologist and midwife who worked closely with Dr Helen O’Connell (the Australian medical pioneer who first mapped the clitoris), celebrates these gains in recent times.

“It is possible for men and women to enjoy sensuality and sexual intercourse without orgasm. However, I find it interesting that we don’t think it is OK to ask men to enjoy sexual intercourse without orgasm. Why do we suggest that for women?” she asks.

There is nuance, though, because painting climax as a “goal” or a “gift” men must bring to their partners creates an uncomfortable sense of ego and responsibility in the bedroom.

“More focus on everyone’s pleasure and orgasm is absolutely a great thing,” says Rafe, however, “those socialised as men have grown up with the narrative that sexual prowess is a key factor in masculinity. The ego enters many sexual dynamics and this can increase performance anxiety, which can result in difficulty remaining present and a reduction of their own pleasure, difficulty getting and maintaining an erection, as well as sexual avoidance.”

On the flipside, women can feel the pressure to validate their partner’s effort by showing their pleasure, or even faking orgasms. While it’s great to strive for climax, sometimes it’s just not going to happen and that’s OK, too. “The irony of orgasm for many is that the more pressure we place on getting there, the harder it actually becomes,” Rafe explains.

“The reality for some vulva and vagina owners is that they are happy to enjoy sexual intimacy with their partners without necessarily achieving orgasm… A real or perceived pressure or expectation to orgasm for their partner can result in them saying no to sexual advances from their partner where they otherwise may have been interested in some sexual play, as well as sexual avoidance, and body shaming because they cannot experience orgasm easily.”

Rafe believes the answer is for each partner to be responsible for their own pleasure.

“This means that we are responsible for learning about what we need to have an orgasm (this can include context, environment, mood, arousal and touch/pleasure), and actually communicate with our partner what we want or need. Our partners are not mind readers, and if we don’t know about our own desire, arousal and pleasure, how on earth are they supposed to know?”

The compliment sandwich of telling your partner you won’t orgasm, rather than faking it

Communicating about not reaching climax has the potential to bruise the ego, but Rafe says it’s integral. Here’s how to do it

Be specific

Use phrases such as “I love it when you/we…”. Frame things you don’t like with a swap, “sometimes (the action) doesn’t feel as good as (something you like)”.

Talk history

If you know orgasm is sometimes difficult, voice it, and take away the pressure – which in turn can increase orgasmic potential.

Acknowledge physiology

Talk about how your body responds throughout the intercourse – including foreplay. Try saying, “I’ve learned that my body can take longer to warm up and get aroused than someone with a penis, can I tell you or show you what I know turns me on and feels amazing for me?”

Be honest about pressure

If you get in your head about an orgasm goal, move the goalposts. Explain it with, “I notice I can get in my head when it comes to having an orgasm, and when I do that, it makes it really difficult to get there. It would really help me get out of my head if we didn’t focus on having an orgasm every time”.

How to teach your partner to pleasure you

Dr Belton says the first step is to explore an orgasm for yourself. It doesn’t help that women masturbate less than men, with a Womanizer study finding on average, Aussie men will masturbate 139 times a year, compared with women at 79 times.

Then, explain it in detail. “Talking about needs and desires and explicit techniques before you are in the bedroom is helpful to remove that performance pressure for everyone,” she says.

Rafe agrees, adding, “You will need to be more specific than something like ‘clitoral stimulation’. Think about the specific type of touch, pressure, speed, consistency, patterns etc., that increase your pleasure.”

Some may find watching self-touch helpful. “If it feels too much to have them watch you front-and-centre, start with them lightly placing their hand over yours while you masturbate,” she says. “Many people find it super sexy to see someone self-touch, so remind yourself of this.”

Finally, Rafe recommends couples try out two different ‘goals’ in their sessions, one as a ‘practice’ (to learn and provide feedback) and the other as a ‘play’ (to take what you learned into a non-structured experience).

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?

By Gigi Engle

You might be thinking: “Um. Anyone who’s had an orgasm knows what they feel like.” But, to be honest, that isn’t the case for everyone.

What an orgasm feels like is pretty subjective. “The question of how to define orgasm is something even scientists debate,” Sarah Melancon, Ph.D., a sociologist, clinical sexologist, and resident expert at the Sex Toy Collective, tells TheBody.

It’s not a super-definable thing—and no two are the same. Well, that might be a bit of an overstatement, but that is to say that orgasms are as varied as the stars in the universe. And this can be both very cool and very confusing.

It all begins with the nuts (LOL) and bolts of how we respond to sexual stimuli. The sexual-response model was originally thought to happen in four phases, thanks to sex researchers Masters and Johnson: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

While this model has been updated to become more non-linear and to include desire as a stage of sexual response, orgasm has remained pretty consistent: the culmination of sexual tension that is released at the peak of sexual arousal. Sexual response, and the orgasms that often come with it, are part of a complex system. There is a ton of variance in human sexuality.

If you’re wondering what exactly happens when we have one off the wrist, look no further. The science of orgasm is something we could all do well to learn more about.

What Happens When You Orgasm

To understand orgasms, we need to understand their foundation: arousal. “Both people with penises and people with vaginas have erectile tissue. Erectile tissue contains capillaries with a unique feature. When you’re not aroused, the blood flows freely in and out, but when you are aroused, the blood goes in but not out. Erectile tissue filling with blood is called ‘engorgement,’ and it makes the tissue feel fuller and firmer,” Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of Becoming Cliterate, explains to TheBody.

All this blood creates the tension we mentioned above. And, when the tension is released, that’s an orgasm.

For people with vaginas, orgasm often is associated with rhythmic contractions of the vagina and pelvic floor, along with a sensitive clitoris, but this interesting factoid is not one-size-fits-all. It’s very important for our collective sexual well-being to de-pathologize sexual function and allow people to experience what they experience, without trying to shut them away into little boxes.

And for penis-havers, orgasm follows these same principles: Orgasm consists of rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor and a sensitive penis. Ejaculation and orgasm are, however, much more likely to occur at the same time for people with penises.

Other bodily things that occur during orgasm: increased breathing and heart rate, along with a rush of feel-good reward chemicals from the brain. Humans are nothing if not really cool.

What About Ejaculation?

Orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing. They are related, almost inextricably so, but they aren’t the same thing. “Pelvic muscles contract, which in males, helps to eject semen,” Melancon says. Orgasm is a physiological (brain and body) response, whereas ejaculation is a physical reflex.

For vulva-owners, orgasm can sometimes accompany ejaculation (squirting fluid from the Skene’s glands and/or urethral sponge), but certainly not always. Only about 10% to 13% of women and other vulva-owners ejaculate during sexual arousal or orgasm.

Orgasm Intensity Is Varied

The old adage that orgasms are explosive, volcanic eruptions is bred out of a lack of good sex education and pornified depictions of sex. Yes, some orgasms are absolutely mind-blowing, but they fall on a massive spectrum.

Pleasure is, in fact, not an absolute when it comes to orgasms. “[Orgasmic] contractions are often experienced as highly pleasurable, though some feel pleasure without noticing the contractions specifically,” Melancon explains.

Melancon tells us that the intensity of an orgasm has a lot to do with how we want to experience them. “Orgasms vary depending on the physical areas stimulated, the emotions involved, the quality of the relationship (for partnered sex), whether we engage in our preferred sexual activities, hormones (particularly shifting across the menstrual cycle), and an individual’s physical and mental health,” she says.

Whether you have micro orgasms or orgasms that could melt your face off, you’re completely normal. Orgasms can be super fun, but at the end of the day: They’re a psychophysiological manifestation of sexual stimulation. “No one way is better than the other—however you experience orgasm is the right way for you,” Mintz adds.

The Pathway to More Orgasms Is Not Thinking About Them

Removing penetration and focusing on sensation and touch can allow people to begin to reframe their relationship to and understanding of pleasure. It allows them to move away from social scripts and start to write their own, cultivating a new path for desire to form with mindful action and a willingness to be flexible. When orgasm isn’t the focus, orgasms have a place to happen. Anxiety and intense focus are the anti-orgasm recipes.

Here’s some piping hot tea: Orgasms are not “given.” Everyone is responsible for their own orgasm. This means your pleasure, advocating for what you need and want, and understanding how your body works is actually your job. Your partner is not a mindreader, and expecting that is going to lead to a lot fewer orgasms and a lot more discontent.

Lastly, Mintz tells us that there is one thing every single human absolutely must purchase if they want to have better orgasms (both alone and with partners): lube. “Vulvas [and penises] are not meant to be touched dry, so use lubricant.”

Not Everyone Has Orgasms (and They Can Still Have Great Sex)

People may have trouble orgasming. This is known as pre-orgasmia (also known as anorgasmia). These issues with orgasming usually occur even if the person is fully sexually aroused and receiving enough and the right kind of sexual stimulation. Pre-orgasmic people who were assigned female at birth often report a lack of adequate stimulation or arousal—and this is all surely related.

Orgasms themselves vary in intensity, but the absence of them entirely is considered a “problem,” as it can cause great distress. Studies suggest orgasmic dysfunction affects 11% to 41% of women.

Pre-orgasmia is a relatively common thing I see in my sex therapy practice. I’ve found taking orgasm off the table right away can be quite helpful. A lot of orgasmic functions can be rooted in feelings of shame or an inability to let go (the fear of a loss of control).

But, at the end of the day, orgasms are not everything. It’s absolutely possible to have incredible sex without orgasms. Let’s stop pressuring ourselves to be Perfect Sexual Beings and instead enjoy the wonderful and rewarding experience that sex can be. Get after it, mate. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

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Is there a difference between orgasm and climax?

Climax and orgasm are both parts of sexual activity. While many people use the words interchangeably, some believe they have different definitions. By these definitions, an orgasm is the buildup of pleasure just before a climax, while a climax is the peak of the orgasm, when the sexual pleasure is the most intense.

by Anna Smith

Most scientific researchers consider orgasm and climax to be the same thing. However, some people consider them to have two different definitions.

This article will look into the possible differences between climax and orgasm and tips on achieving orgasm.

Some people consider climax to be the feeling of intense pleasure a person feels at the peak of an orgasm. Other individuals consider climax and orgasm to be the same thing.

During climax, a person’s pelvic floor muscles contract repeatedly. Some people can climax multiple times during sexual activity, while others may climax once or not at all.

It can be typical for a person not to climax. However, they can speak with a healthcare professional if they have concerns about this.

There are various ways someone can achieve climax, such as through:

  • vaginal sex
  • oral sex
  • anal sex
  • masturbation
  • stimulation of erogenous zones, such as the nipples

However, everyone is different, and things that cause one person to climax may not work for another.

Certain people believe that an orgasm is the buildup of pleasure that occurs before a climax. Others consider orgasm to refer to the entire experience of sexual buildup and climax.

It is possible for a person to extend the time that they experience orgasm. This is known as edging. Some people believe that edging can lead to a more intense climax.

The International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM) describes edging in the following steps:

  1. A person reaches the brink of achieving climax.
  2. They then reduce stimulation, meaning they do not reach climax.
  3. The individual then brings themselves back to the edge of climax.
  4. They may then allow themselves to climax or reduce stimulation again.

This cycle may repeat multiple times.

Going by their separate definitions, an individual can achieve orgasm without climax.

Research from 2016 notes that, during sex, over 90% of menTrusted Source achieve climax. Additionally, around 50% of women climax during sex.

A person may find that they experience orgasm during sexual activity, but they do not reach climax. This can be enough for some people but frustrating for others.

If a person has concerns about being unable to climax, they can consult a healthcare professional.

According to the advocacy group Planned Parenthood, when a person climaxes, they may feel a wave of pleasure that starts in their genitals and travels through their body. Some people may experience climax more intensely than others.

When someone climaxes, their heart rate and breathing levels increase.

During climax, people may experience vaginal spasms and contractions of the uterus. This can accompany vaginal secretions. And while female ejaculation can also occur, this is typical, and the fluid is not urine.

Typically, the penis ejaculates. However, it is possible to climax without ejaculating, which is known as dry ejaculation.

The ISSM notes that dry ejaculation is usually nothing to worry about. If a person has climaxed several times in one day, it is possible for them to run out of sperm. Dry ejaculation can also occur due to certain drugs or surgery.

If a person has concerns about dry ejaculation, they can discuss this with a healthcare professional.

Following climax, a person may feel sleepy, happy, or relaxed. An individual’s clitoris or glans, the head of the penis, may be sensitive right after climaxing. Flushing of the chest, neck, and face can also occur.

In the buildup to a climax, a person may experience feelings of increasing pleasure. This feeling may build gradually or occur suddenly.

When someone starts to orgasm, they may feel a buildup of tension. They may also feel their toes curl or their hands clench.

As a person orgasms, they may achieve climax or experience a dip in pleasure levels. If this occurs, they may require a change in stimulation. This can involve increasing speed, slowing down, or changing positions.

It is possible for a person to orgasm and climax together. They may feel an intense wave of pleasure following the buildup of an orgasm. This wave is the climax of the orgasm.

A climax is usually more intense and pleasurable than an orgasm. However, this can depend on certain factors, such as:

  • how aroused a person is
  • how long it has been since they last climaxed
  • how much lubrication there is
  • their connection to other people involved
  • the type of sexual position
  • the type of sexual activity
  • whether they continue stimulation until the completion of the climax

After climaxing, a person may find that their genitals are too sensitive to continue sexual activity. However, some people can continue after climaxing and possibly achieve multiple climaxes.

Information from the ISSM suggests that around 15% of women can have multiple climaxes.

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What is an orgasm?

Everything you need to know about orgasms

by James McIntosh

Many people regard the orgasm as the peak of sexual excitement. It is a powerful feeling of physical pleasure and sensation. There is still more for researchers to know about the orgasm, and over the past century, theories about the orgasm and its nature have shifted.

This article explains what an orgasm is in people of different sexes. It also looks at why orgasms occur and explains some common misconceptions.

According to the American Psychological Association, an orgasm is when a person reaches peak pleasure. The body releases tension, and the perineal muscles, anal sphincter, and reproductive organs rhythmically contract.

Males will usually ejaculate when reaching an orgasm and females will experience vaginal wall contractions. Females may also ejaculate during sexual activity or when experiencing an orgasm.

Orgasm models

Sex researchers have defined orgasms within staged models of sexual response. Although the orgasm process can differ greatly between individuals, several basic physiological changes tend to occur in most incidences.

The following models are patterns that occur in all forms of sexual response and do not solely relate to penile-vaginal intercourse.

Master and Johnson’s 4-phase model

In 1966, researchers named William Masters and Virginia Johnson came up with a four-phase model:

  1. excitement
  2. plateau
  3. orgasm
  4. resolution

Kaplan’s 3-stage model

Kaplan’s model differs from most other sexual response models by including desire — most models tend to avoid including nongenital changes. It is also important to note that desire does not precede all sexual activity. The three stages in this model are:

  1. desire
  2. excitement
  3. orgasm

During an orgasm, people may experience an intense feeling of pleasure in the genitals and throughout the body. Orgasms can feel different for each individual.

After an orgasm, the face, neck, or chest may flush. People may also feel sleepy, relaxed, or happy afterwards due to a release of endorphins.

For females

For females, the muscles in the vagina and anus may contract roughly once per second, for around five to eiht times. Heart and breathing rates may increase.

Before and during an orgasm, the vagina may become wet, and it may even ejaculate this fluid. Research suggests the percentage of females who ejaculate can range from 10–70%.

Directly after an orgasm, the clitoris may feel more sensitive or uncomfortable to touch.

For males

For males, the muscles in the penis and anus may contract around once every second, between five to eight times. Heart and breathing rates may increase.

The penis may release around 1–2 tablespoons of semen. People may not ejaculate during an orgasm, but both usually occur simultaneously.

Directly after an orgasm, the head of the penis may feel more sensitive or uncomfortable to touch.

Orgasms can help people to sleep better. Research from 2019Trusted Source finds that orgasms achieved with a partner resulted in good sleep outcomes. Orgasms achieved through masturbation resulted in better sleep quality and reduced the time taken to fall asleep.

The body releases a hormone called oxytocin during an orgasm. Oxytocin may have a variety of health benefits, such as:

In addition, there is some evidence that frequent ejaculation in males might reduce the risk of prostate cancer. ResearchTrusted Source finds that healthcare professionals diagnosed prostate cancer less frequently in those who had high ejaculation rates.
There are many different types of orgasms, some of which are detailed below:

  • Clitoral orgasm: This is when an orgasm occurs due to stimulation of the clitoris. A 2019 article notes that 60% of female orgasms occur due to clitoral stimulation.
  • Vaginal orgasm: This is when an orgasm occurs vaginal stimulation. The American Psychological Association states that vaginal orgasms are related to the indirect stimulation of the clitoris during sex.
  • Blended orgasm: This occurs when clitoral and vaginal orgasms occur together.
  • Anal orgasm: Some femalesTrusted Source experience orgasms during anal sex.
  • G-spot orgasm: An orgasm can occur as a result of stimulation of the G-spot.
  • Multiple orgasms: A person can experience a series of orgasms over a short time. Masters and Johnson note that females have a shorter refractory (recovery) period, which allows them to experience multiple orgasms in a shorter period of time.
  • Imagery-induced: Orgasms can occur as a response to imagery without physical stimulation. Research from 1992Trusted Source states that orgasms can occur as a result of self-induced imagery. Newer researchTrusted Source from 2016 notes that mental imagery activates the brain regions connected to orgasm, reward, and bodily stimulation.
  • Nipple orgasm: A person may reach an orgasm due to stimulation of the nipples alone. Stimulation of the nipples can activate the part of the brain that also activates with genital stimulation.

The above list is not exhaustive, and research is ongoing regarding the types of orgasms people can experience.

Can males experience multiple orgasms?

According to a 2016 literature reviewTrusted Source, males can experience multiple orgasms.

However, this is not common. Less than 10% of people in their 20s and less than 7% of those age 30 or over can experience them.

The researchers note two types of male multiple orgasms: sporadic and condensed.

Sporadic multiple orgasms will have intervals of a few minutes. Condensed multiple orgasms consist of two to four orgasmic bursts in the space of a few seconds to 2 minutes.

More research is required to understand what factors can affect a person’s ability to experience multiple orgasms.
The following description of the physiological process of female orgasms in the genitals will use the Masters and Johnson four-phase model.

Excitement

During female stimulation, either physically or psychologically, the blood vessels within the genitals dilate. Increased blood supply causes fluid to pass through the vaginal walls, making the vulva swollen and wet. Internally, the top of the vagina expands.

During this phase, heart rate and breathing quicken, and blood pressure increases. Blood vessel dilation can lead to the person appearing flushed, particularly on the neck and chest.

Plateau

As blood flow to the introitus (vaginal opening) reaches its limit, it becomes firm. Breasts can increase in size, and increased blood flow to the areola causes the nipples to appear less erect. The clitoris pulls back against the pubic bone, seemingly disappearing.

Orgasm

The genital muscles, including the uterus and vaginal opening, experience rhythmic contractions around 0.8 seconds apart. The female orgasm typically lasts longer than the male orgasm, at an average of around 20–35 secondsTrusted Source.

Unlike males, most females do not have a recovery period and so can have further orgasms with repeated stimulation.

Resolution

The body gradually returns to its former state. Swelling reduces while the pulse and breathing slow.

The following description of the bodily process of male orgasms in the genitals uses the Masters and Johnson four-phase model.

Excitement

Male stimulation, either physically or psychologically, can lead to an erection. Blood flows into the corpora (spongy tissue running the length of the penis), causing the penis to grow in size and become rigid. The testicles draw up toward the body as the scrotum tightens.

Plateau

As the blood vessels in and around the penis fill with blood, the glans and testicles increase in size. In addition, thigh and buttock muscles tense, blood pressure rises, the pulse quickens, and the rate of breathing increases.

Orgasm

Semen enters the urethra by a series of contractions in the pelvic floor muscles, the prostate gland, the seminal vesicles, and the vas deferens.

Contractions in the pelvic floor muscles and prostate gland also force the semen out of the penis in a process called ejaculation.

Resolution

The male now enters a temporary recovery phase. This is the refractory period, and its length varies from person to person. It can last from a few minutes to a few days, and this period generally grows longer as a male ages.

During this phase, the penis and testicles return to their original size. The breathing may be heavy and fast, and the pulse will be elevated.

Orgasms typically occur as part of a sexual response cycle. They often take place following the continual stimulation of erogenous zones, such as the genitals, anus, nipples, and perineum.

Orgasms occur following two basic responses to continual stimulation:

  • Vasocongestion: This is the process in which body tissues fill up with blood, swelling in size as a result.
  • Myotonia: This is the process in which muscles tense, including both voluntary flexing and involuntary contracting.

According to a 2017 articleTrusted Source, people can experience an orgasm from stimulation other than in the genital area, such as the ears or nipples. Even mental stimulation can produce an orgasm.

Orgasmic disorders can lead to distress, frustration, and feelings of shame, both for the person experiencing the symptoms and their sexual partner.

Although orgasms occur similarly in all genders, healthcare professionals tend to describe orgasm disorders in gendered terms.

Female orgasmic disorders

Female orgasmic disorders center around the absence or significant delay of orgasms following sufficient stimulation.

Doctors refer to the absence of having orgasms as anorgasmia. This term can either refer to when a person has never experiencedTrusted Source an orgasm (primary anorgasmia) or when a person who previously experienced orgasms no longer can (secondary anorgasmia). The condition can occur generally or in specific situations.

Female orgasmic disorders can occur as the result of physical causes, such as gynecological conditions or the use of certain medications, or psychological causes such as anxiety or depression.

Male orgasmic disorders

Male orgasmic disorder (male anorgasmia) involves a persistent and recurrent delay or absence of orgasm following sufficient stimulation.

Male anorgasmia can be a lifelong condition or one that happens after a period of regular sexual functioning. The condition can occur generally or in specific situations.

Male anorgasmia can occurTrusted Source as the result of physical conditions such as low testosterone, psychological conditions such as anxiety, or through the use of certain medications such as antidepressants.

Premature ejaculation

Ejaculation in males is closely associated with an orgasm. Premature ejaculation, where a male ejaculates sooner than they would want to, is a common sexual complaint.

Premature ejaculation may be due to a combination of psychological factors such as guilt or anxiety and biological factors such as hormone levels or nerve damage.

The importance that society places on sex — combined with our incomplete knowledge of the orgasm — has led to several common misconceptions.

Sexual culture has placed the orgasm on a pedestal, often prizing it as the only goal for sexual encounters.

However, orgasms are not as simple or as common as many people would suggest.

In a 2016 studyTrusted Source, 14% of women under the age of 35 had never experienced an orgasm from sexual intercourse. The same study reports that 9% of women surveyed, regardless of age, had never experienced an orgasm from sexual intercourse.

Other data in the study reported that only 38% of young women usually had an orgasm during intercourse, while 43% reported infrequent orgasms.

In the United States, as many as 1 in 3 males 18–59 years old report having problems with premature ejaculation at some point in their lives.

Research has shown that orgasms are also not widely considered the most important aspect of a sexual experience. According to the Kinsey Institute, reports of sexual satisfaction from both males and females were more likely when they experienced:

  • frequent kissing and cuddling
  • sexual caressing from partner
  • higher sexual functioning
  • more frequent sex

Another misconception is that penile-vaginal stimulation is the main way for people to achieve an orgasm. While this may be true for many people, many more females experience higher sexual arousal following the stimulation of the clitoris.

Orgasms can occur in many ways. Orgasms do not necessarily have to involve the genitals, nor do they have to link with sexual desires, as evidenced by examples of exercise-induced orgasm.

Another common misconception is that transgender people cannot orgasm after gender reassignment surgery.

A 2018 studyTrusted Source looked at the effects of gender affirming surgery (GAS) on orgasm.

In participants who had undergone GAS with penile inversion vaginoplasty and then had sexual intercourse, 55.8% reported their orgasms to be more intense than before the surgery. Of the participants, 20.8% reported no difference.

A 2014 study focused on 97 people who underwent single-stage metoidioplasty. The researchers found that none of those who had the surgery had any problems achieving an orgasm.

Johns Hopkins states that achieving an orgasm is possible after phalloplasty.

The journey to an orgasm is a very individual experience that has no singular, all-encompassing definition. In many cases, experts recommend avoiding comparison with other people or preexisting concepts of what an orgasm should be.

Orgasms can be different for each individual and do not only occur through sexual stimulation.

People of all genders can have orgasms, and transgender people can orgasm after gender affirmation surgery. Orgasms can release endorphins, which may cause an increased feeling of relaxation or happiness afterward.

People of any gender may also experience orgasm disorders, such as premature ejaculation or an inability to orgasm. If people have any concerns regarding their orgasms, they can speak with a doctor or sex therapist.

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A Study Reveals The Average Time It Takes To Make A Woman Orgasm & It’s Not That Hard

By Manya Ailawadi

Finally, the world is ready to take women’s sexual pleasure seriously – and here’s all you need to know. Researchers have published a study that gives us the average time it takes for a heterosexual woman to reach orgasm. According to the research, it takes around 13.41 minutes. The study focused on women older than 18 years, who are in a monogamous stable heterosexual relationship.

We hope we have your attention because there’s more. The study also revealed that only 31.4 percent of participants climaxed during penetrative sex. The sample size of the research was 645 women, from 20 different countries. So many numbers, right? Additionally, it also measured ‘orgasmic latency‘, which is the gap between arousal and climax.  

This research talks about other factors which affect how you O, too. It also suggests that when the woman was on top – almost 42.2 percent of them reported longer-lasting sensations. The study was published in The Journal Of Sexual Medicine – which also revealed that the age of women and the time that they had been with their partner did not have a significant effect on how long orgasms took. So you know that the spark definitely doesn’t ‘frizzle out’.

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From clitoral to explosive

— 5 types of orgasms every woman should know about

Which ones have you experienced?

By Shona Hendley

We speak to a ‘sexpert’ about how to achieve the many pleasurable – and elusive – types of O’s.

We all know that scene. The one where Meg Ryan’s character, Sally shows Harry (Billy Crystal) and everyone else at Katz Deli exactly how women can fake an orgasm in rom-com classic, When Harry Met Sally.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” another female diner responds once Sally’s faux climax is reached and she digs back into her coleslaw, summing up exactly what many, many other women were thinking and (let’s be honest) probably still are.

Because achieving orgasm is something that sex therapist, hypnotherapist and author, Dr Janet Hall says that she is frequently asked about in her sessions from women of all ages.

“Over my 40 years as a sex therapist I am astounded by how many women wanted me to teach them how to have an orgasm.”

While all orgasms are inherently pleasurable, they aren’t all the same. In fact, there are multiple types of orgasms and ways in which to achieve them.

“It is possible for a woman to have different types of orgasms depending on where she is stimulated and how and for how long,” Dr Hall explains. And while they can vary from clitoral, G-spot, A-spot, anal, nipple, throat, and other erogenous in the body, “the truth is, that most women are happy to concentrate on the first three listed above – their hottest spots in the vulva and vagina.”

So how do you achieve an orgasm in these hot spots? Body + Soul spoke to ‘sexpert’, Dr Hall for all the juicy details.

Clitoral Orgasms

Dr Hall says that “clitoral orgasms result from direct stimulation of the clitoris for about five minutes and last about fifteen seconds. Because the clitoral orgasm is easier to experience for most woman and quick to achieve, it is often the preferred way to orgasm.”

G-spot Orgasms

“The G-Spot is a spongy area as big as a fingernail and it is just inside and up to the front of the vagina. It can be elusive however and it is up to each woman to explore to find out their exact G-Spot position. At first it might seem just like the rest of the vagina wall but with continued rubbing pressure it swells with blood and fluid and it then feels like the surface of your tongue – a little bit rough and with ridges,” Dr Hall explains.

How do you achieve them?

For a G-spot orgasm during intercourse, Dr Hall says that “most women need time to build the pleasure in the G-Spot before they are ready for penetration.”

For heterosexual intercourse “you need to teach your man to push his penis at your G-Spot. This is easier when he enters from the woman when she is laying down on her front or raising her backside.”

The Blended Orgasm

“A Blended Orgasm is when both a clitoral and G-Spot orgasm occur simultaneously. These twin orgasms can last for a long time – peaking and subsiding over and over again for hours.”

How do you achieve them?

“It can be a balancing act to achieve. First you can try to pleasure the clitoris, then introduce a finger or toy to pleasure the G spot so that both areas are being pleasured.”

A-Spot or Cervical Orgasm

“The A-spot, anatomically known as “Anterior Fornix,” is the pocket of elastic tissue above the cervix in the back of the woman’s vagina. If you insert a finger, you’ll find a donut shaped (or cone shaped) ring of hard muscle at the top of the canal. This is the cervix, which is the entrance to the Uterus.

If you gently trace around this little donut/cone you’ll find a very smooth and elastic ring of tissue circling it. The top of this ring (closest to the belly) is the Anterior Fornix, or the A-Spot.”

How do you achieve them?

“Stroke it with the “come here” motion until you feel a burst of pleasure,” Dr Hall explains.

Explosive versus Implosive Orgasms

“The explosive orgasm is typical for the clitoral one which lasts less than fifteen seconds.

These orgasms are perfectly natural, but they can deplete us instead of feeding us with our life force energy.

Tantra teachers believe that we can learn to channel and move that energy back inside of us to experience a multitude of other orgasmic flavours and sensations! This is referred to as N.E.O (non-ejaculatory orgasmic tantra) also known as the Energetic Orgasm!”

How do we achieve them?

“We achieve this type of orgasm by squeezing the pelvic floor muscle in on the inhale just as we are getting close to orgasm (say 3.5 on the scale of pleasure if 5 is “I’m ejaculating”) to draw the sexual energy away from the genitals and towards the heart.

When we learn to implode with sexual energy, we can experience a whole new array of orgasmic sensations!”

Enjoy! And let the O force be with you.

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Understanding orgasms

— a simple guide to how they work

An orgasm from penetration alone may feel out of reach. But there are ways to do it.

Let’s just take a reality check quickly, not everyone with a vagina can orgasm with penetration alone. In fact, less than 30 per cent of vagina owners can reach climax through this method. Yet there are some ways you can lend yourself a helping hand to see if it is something you can achieve.

1. Understand vagina anatomy‍

First, make sure you understand vaginal anatomy and the parts that are most likely to lead to pleasure (and maybe orgasm) when stimulated. For most people the entrance and first third of the vagina are the most sensitive areas.

This may include the G-spot area, which is on the front wall of the vagina. The internal structure of the clitoris has a lot to do with why these parts can bring a lot of pleasure, so make sure you understand the full size and shape of the clit so you know what you’re working with.

Other areas that are sexually sensitive for some people are the cervix, “A-spot”, and perineal​ sponge.

So get familiar with all these sexy bits by checking out some good anatomy diagrams. It’s much easier to reach your destination if you have a good map.

2. Find your own sensitive areas and focus there‍

Understanding anatomy is just the starting point. The important thing is to apply it to your own body.

Experiment with stimulating different areas and see what brings pleasure. Do you enjoy deep penetration?

Do you prefer G-spot stimulation? Or pressure against the back wall around your perineum? Or somewhere else entirely? Whatever feels best for you and brings the most intensity of sensation is where you should focus.

3. Take your time to get aroused

The vagina can take longer to warm up than the clit, and getting that blood flow to the genital tissues is really important for your arousal, sensation, and chances of reaching the big O.

So spend some time on kissing, nipple play, dirty talk, and oral sex before moving to penetration to make sure your body is ready.

4. Start by trying blended orgasms

You may be working up to a hands-free orgasm during intercourse, but combining vaginal stimulation with clit stimulation is a good stepping stone.

Just do penetration for a while, and then add in clit stimulation when you feel you need it to reach orgasm.

Over time, delay adding in clit stimulation and see if eventually you can climax without it. Maybe yes, maybe no, but it’s worth a try.

5. Find the best position(s) for you

Cowgirl: Riding on top is the most successful position for achieving a hands-free orgasm during intercourse. Not only can you direct the penetration to hit your sweet spots, but you can also grind your clit on your partner’s body to maximise the sensation from all angles.‍

Knees-back missionary: Lie on your back and pull your knees up so your feet are raised off the bed. You may want to prop up your butt with a pillow for support. This is an effective G-spot position since it’s much easier to access that front wall of the vagina than it is during regular missionary. During penetration, angle the penis or toy to press that G-spot area if you know you like G-spot sensation.‍

Doggy: If you enjoy deep penetration, then doggy is a great option. You can also be more in control of the speed and depth, which can help you get the stimulation you want. Another good thing about doggy is it’s so easy to use a finger or toy on your clit, to help push you over the edge. ‍

Legs together: Some people find it easier to reach orgasm when their legs are close together rather than spread apart. Try having your legs together – you could be on your front, back, side, standing, it’s your choice! Have your partner straddle you while they’re penetrating you. Clench or pulse your pelvic and thigh muscles in this position to boost the intensity of sensations and help you reach the big O.

6. Slow and steady wins the race‍

A common error when trying to reach orgasm is thinking that hard-and-fast is best. While it may be preferred by some people, for many, too much pressure and friction for too long can numb the nerve-endings, and can feel uncomfortable.

So, although it’s counterintuitive, slow movements with a lighter pressure can actually feel way more intense. Yes, hard-and-fast is often preferred as a person gets closer to orgasm, but in the build up try to keep movements on the slow and steady side.

7. Try edging‍

Switching between slower and faster is also a great way to build up arousal and increase your chances of orgasm.

You may want to indulge in a bit of hot-and-heavy bed-bouncing activity, and then dial it back to slow and focussed thrusts for a couple of minutes.

Switching intensity during sex, aka “edging” is a popular technique to help with reaching and intensifying climax.

8. Breath, focus, and relax‍

Getting relaxed and feeling present in your body can help you focus on your vaginal sensations and really enjoy the pleasure.

Find ways to reduce your mental distraction such as choosing a relaxing time and place to have sex, starting with a massage or bath, and making sure there are no lingering disagreements you need to resolve with your partner as resentment is like a cold shower to your libido.

During sex, breathing slowly and deeply and focussing on your genital area can help you hone in on those sensations. You can think of it as “breathing into your p….” to bring relaxation and blood flow to the area.

9. Pay attention to your environment‍

Being in the right environment is really important to help you feel comfortable, relaxed, and in a good mental space.

That means: getting the lighting right for you, making sure the bed (or wherever you are) is comfy, and checking the temperature – are you warm enough? Focus on your pleasure without getting distracted.

10. Practise by yourself‍

Why not dedicate some time to practising solo? Using a dildo, try masturbating with penetration only. See what speed, angle, and depth feels good.

Pay attention to how your arousal builds, and to how the intensity of the sensation increases. As you get more practice, you might find you’re able to bring yourself closer to orgasm (and you might even get there). Once you’ve worked out how to get this type of pleasure from solo play, you’ll have more idea of the techniques to try with a partner.

11. Pelvic floor strength‍

Having a well-toned pelvic floor is important. It will allow you to grip more tightly on your partner’s penis or the dildo, and this can intensify the sensations you feel in your vagina.

Also, since an orgasm is basically a series of muscle contractions, having a toned pelvic floor is important so that these muscle contractions can happen. Kegel exercises can help improve your pelvic floor strength, just make sure you do them correctly, and be sure to evaluate first if they are right for you, as they’re not appropriate for everyone.

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13 Things to Know About Female Orgasms

Including How to Find Yours

by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst

1. Is this a certain type of orgasm?

No, “female orgasm” is an all-encompassing term for any type of orgasm related to female genitalia.
It could be clitoral, vaginal, even cervical — or a mix of all three. That said, your genitalia isn’t your only option when it comes to achieving the big O.

Read on for tips on where to touch, how to move, why it works, and more.

2. It can be a clitoral orgasm

Direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris can lead to a clitoral orgasm. When you get your rub on just right, you’ll feel the sensation build in your pleasure bud and peak.

Try this

Your fingers, palm, or a small vibrator can all help you have a clitoral orgasm.

Make sure your clitoris is wet and begin gently rubbing in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion.

As it begins to feel good, apply faster and harder pressure in a repetitive motion.

When you feel your pleasure intensify, apply even more pressure to the motion to take yourself over the edge.

3. It can be a vaginal orgasm

Although few people are able to climax with vaginal stimulation alone, it sure can be fun trying!

If you’re able to make it happen, prepare for an intense climax that can be felt deep inside your body.

The front vaginal wall is also home to the anterior fornix, or A-spot.

Older research suggests that stimulating the A-spot can result in intense lubrication and even orgasm.

Try this

Fingers or a sex toy should do the trick. Since the pleasure comes from the vaginal walls, you’ll want to experiment with width. Do this by inserting an extra finger or two into the vagina, or try a sex toy with some extra girth.

To stimulate the A-spot, focus the pressure on the front wall of the vagina while sliding your fingers or toy in and out. Stick with the pressure and motion that feels the best, and let the pleasure mount.

4. It can be a cervical orgasm

Cervical stimulation has the potential to lead to a full-body orgasm that can send waves of tingly pleasure from your head to your toes.

And this is an orgasm that can keep on giving, lasting quite a while for some.

Your cervix is the lower end of your uterus, so reaching it means going in deep.

Try this

Being relaxed and aroused is key to achieving a cervical orgasm. Use your imagination, rub your clitoris, or let your partner work some foreplay magic.

The doggy-style position allows for deep penetration, so try being on all fours with a penetrative toy or partner.

Start off slow, gradually working your way deeper until you find a depth that feels good, and keep at it so the pleasure can build.

5. Or a mix of all the above

A combo orgasm can be achieved by pleasuring your vagina and clitoris simultaneously.

The result: a powerful climax that you can feel inside and out.

Be sure to supersize your combo by adding some other erogenous zones to the mix.

Try this

Use both your hands to double your pleasure, or combine fingers and sex toys. Rabbit vibrators, for example, can stimulate the clitoris and vagina at the same time and are perfect for mastering the combo orgasm.

Use parallel rhythms while playing with your clitoris and vagina, or switch it up with fast clitoral action and slow vaginal penetration.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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The female orgasm

— How exactly does it work?

BY EVANGELINE POLYMENEAS

Let’s get that O.

Many have looked far and wide in search of the elusive female orgasm. Those who have experienced one from penetrative sex have the power to congregate vulva owners everywhere to tell the tale of how they reached climax. The journey is filled with awkward moments, queefs and repetitive movement but they’ve lived to tell the tale and the rest of us want answers.

There is a myriad of myths surrounding the female orgasm and an oversaturation of misinformation. When I Googled it, millions of results appeared all promising 11 different types of female orgasms. If there are so many options, why is it so hard to get just one?

Too many of my friends answer a resounding ‘no’ to the question of whether they orgasmed during their latest sexual escapade, so I spoke to sex and pleasure coach, Clarke Rose, in an attempt to understand why.

“There is a huge orgasm gap. A lot of people with vulvas aren’t cumming,” Clarke tells me. So it’s a national pleasure emergency. Maybe we just don’t know what we’re searching for, so what is an orgasm exactly?

“An orgasm is such an expansive thing to define,” Clarke says. “I like to think of orgasms in a non-clinical sense as a high index of pleasure for anybody who’s feeling it. Technically speaking, it’s a peak of intense pleasure that sometimes creates altered states of consciousness and is usually accompanied by involuntary rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor.”

Essentially, euphoria. That sounds all well and good, but what about the other 10 orgasms Google promised? I ask Clarke whether there are different sorts of female orgasms and the answer was not what I was expecting.

“Yes and no. Orgasm can be stimulated from different parts of your body, [for example], some people can have an orgasm from their nipples being stimulated, some from anal sex, others from penetration, but they all achieve the same orgasm. It’s not like you have a vaginal orgasm or a clitoral orgasms. They are all the same thing, they are just being stimulated from a different area.”

Clarke notes that only 30 per cent of women can trigger orgasm from internal stimulation and that percentage doesn’t differentiate between whether the penetration was accompanied by clitoral stimulation or not. She attributes this low percentage to differences in anatomy. “It’s a matter of how much your urethral sponge, which sits right about the G-spot, is sensitive and full of erectile tissue.”

Clarke says we tend to hierarchise female orgasms in ways that we don’t with male orgasms. “For a woman, people ask whether they can cum from their clit, or vagina, or whether they can have a nipple orgasm, whereas with men, no one is asking if they had a blowjob orgasm, or a penetrative orgasm – their orgasms just get to be orgasms.”

Penis owners seem to orgasm so easily, so I wondered if there was a difference between male orgasms and female orgasms. “Anatomically speaking it’s super interesting because a person who has a penis, orgasms for biological reasons,” Clarke explains. “They need to orgasm to ejaculate for the sperm to come out and make a baby.”

She goes on to explain that there is no biological need for females to orgasm. At first, this idea might seem anti-feminist, but Clarke explains that it’s actually quite interesting. “When we were foetuses, we were made up of all the same parts [as males], we [females] just develop differently. People with vulvas got this ability to orgasm because men can, which is a fantastic bonus to our sexuality without the pressure of needing to [orgasm] every time or we fail.”

Despite the lack of biological pressure to orgasm, a lot of vulva owners can’t seem to reach climax with partners but have less of a problem on their own. So what’s the barrier that’s stopping many of us from achieving the big O?

“When we are with somebody, other things come up – maybe we are a little bit self-conscious, or afraid to ask for what we want, or are too focused on our partners,” Clarke explains. “Whereas when we are on our own, we can make whatever weird face we want. A lot of women also use toys to masturbate which makes it really easy. However, when you’re with a partner and they are just using their hand or tongue, it doesn’t compare to whatever eight-speed vibrator you have at home. It can be a bit more difficult for your body and mind to recognise that as a trigger for orgasm.”

Although there are definitely micro reasons that could prevent partner orgasms, women’s orgasms have been repressed at a cultural level as well. “Our culture prioritises male anatomy and male pleasure. We all understand the anatomy of a penis, it’s so drilled into our heads, but we don’t understand the anatomy of a vulva. Historically we have repressed women’s sexuality. We want women to be receptive, polite and pleasing and not cause a big fuss,” explains Clarke.

Men have seen themselves in porn and in sex scenes in film and television ask for what they need sexually and receive it. They have heard the language required to ask, but women haven’t. It seems unnatural to ask for what we want, and Clarke says a lot of men probably don’t know how to listen without their ego getting involved.

“If you can’t orgasm and it’s really stressing you out, you’re not alone. There are a lot of women who can’t. Definitely look into seeing a sexologist or a sex coach if it’s something you want to work on,” says Clarke. The female orgasm is complex and it’s complicated, but we all deserve to reach it if we want to.

“Women put a lot of pressure on themselves to orgasm a certain way,” Clarke says. “Whether you cum with a vibrator, or by your hand, or whether you can cum on your own or with a partner – however you orgasm is valid. Period. Don’t put extra stress on yourself to cum upside down with mind stimulation – however you cum is beautiful.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to have a better orgasm

– whether on your own or with a partner

How to have a better orgasm is easier than you think, all you need to do is follow our simple, expert rules…

By

Want to know how to have a better orgasm? Course you do. There’s nothing worse than having an orgasm that leaves you feeling, well, a little deflated. But, sadly, it happens – even if you are using one of the best vibrators.

“No two orgasms are exactly the same,” says Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert at sexual wellness brand Lovehoney. “Some feel so good that they blow your socks off but others, while pleasurable, may not have the same level of intensity.”

But, luckily, there are things you can do about it to help. “The intensity of the orgasm is all linked in to the quality of the sex that proceeded it,” says Annabelle. “The better the sex, the better, and often longer, the orgasm. Plus, an orgasm can often be more intense if you refrain from sex for a few days. And orgasms can be a little less intense if you have sex repeatedly over a short space of time.”

Want to find out more? Here’s everything you need to know about how to have a better orgasm…

How to have a better orgasm on your own

Going solo? Here’s Annabelle’s top tips for women for achieving a better orgasm:

  1. Try a toy
    “Toys are fabulous as they take all the hard work and do it for you, especially those with different settings and intensities. They allow you to tailor make your orgasm and can provide you with a variety of sensations each and every time.”
  2. Use lube
    “Lubricant reduces friction and drag during masturbation. The slick sensations will make stimulation easier and lead to a far more indulgent experience.”
  3. Get yourself in the mood
    “For many women reading an erotic novel is the best way to get them in the mood. A book is far less obvious than just watching porn, especially when you consider that on the whole the female mind is far more imaginative than the male counterpart, especially when it comes to sex. A sexy book is the perfect way to kick-start those creative juices and to get you in the mood.”
  4. Explore your erogenous zones
    “Women have 25 of them. Yes, 25. Try stimulating some of the less obvious ones like the belly button, lower back, inner wrist and the perineum, the highly sensitive patch of skin between the anus and the vagina. Many of us are completely unaware of all the pleasure zones on our bodies and we are missing out on a lot of sexual happiness by not exploring them all. Everyone is different and responds in different ways to different kinds of touch. Knowledge is the key when trying to improve sexual experience.”

How to have a better orgasm with your partner

“There are lots of simple techniques couples can use to ensure they have better orgasms,” says Annabelle. Here are her tips to try:

  1. Your most important sex organ is your brain
    “It sounds obvious, but the best sex happens when you have a deep connection with your partner. Half of men (48%) and 39% of women reckon that love is the most important factor in achieving sexual happiness, according to research by Lovehoney.”
  2. Take on the mindset you had in your first week of dating
    “Remember those early milestones in the relationship: the first time you saw them, the first kiss and the first time you had sex. Cherish those memories and try to recreate the excitement you both felt.”
  3. Variety is the spice of life
    “Eat the same meal every night and you will soon get bored of it. Why do you think that sex is any different? Too many couples get stuck in a sex rut where they do the same things, at the same time with the same results. Sex becomes routine rather than something special which you look forward to. Mix it up in whatever way works for you: pick a different room in the house to have sex each time; drive to the countryside and find a secluded spot for your passion; try having sex in the morning instead of the evening; or treat yourselves to a new sex toy. Anything which keeps things fun and breaks the routine.”
  4. Don’t be greedy
    “Very few couples have consistently great sex every single time. Most of us experience a mixture of fantastically great sessions, ‘ordinary’ shags and the odd funny incident throughout our relationships. Even couples who rate their sex life as fantastic admit only 2-3 sessions out of every 10 are sheet-grabbing material, so yes, enjoy the phenomenal sessions, but appreciate the good ones just as much.”
  5. Kissing is key
    “A lot of couples underestimate the importance of kissing, which is a shame because it’s the perfect way to establish intimacy, and is arguably the most important act of foreplay. Because kissing usually kicks off any sexual activity, knowing how to kiss well can set the tone for the whole evening. Whether it’s lots of tongue, no tongue, nibbling, light pecks or deep, romantic kisses, knowing what your partner enjoys is key to kicking things off right.”

Techniques for how to have a better orgasm

The best advice for how to have a better orgasm? Try to relax – stress and orgasms don’t mix. 

“Higher levels of cortisol are associated with anxiety and stress emotions, and high cortisol can suppress sex hormones that impact desire,” says Annabelle. “Having sex when you’re feeling anxious is also basically like asking your mind to multitask, which is hard to do. You are faced with two competing interests for the same neurological system – your anxiety and your sexual activity. It’s not surprising you may struggle to get in the mood.”

But it is worth persevering. “Sex is a great way to relieve stress,” says Annabelle. “The benefits include release of endorphins and other hormones that elevate mood. It’s also great exercise, which itself is an effective stress reliever.”

Here’s Annabelle’s tips to aid relaxation and improve the quality of your orgasms:

  1. Talk to your partner
    “Your partner may not be aware that you are feeling stressed, so by acknowledging that worry may be causing you sexual issues is the first step to regaining your sex life. It might also encourage your partner to take some responsibilities off your shoulders. Research has shown that sharing the chores is one of the secrets to a good relationship. Getting help at home can help you feeling less tired and more in the mood for sex. If you are on your own, talk about your issues with friends via Facetime or Zoom.”
  2. Make time for sex
    “Making time for sex play and to feel sexual is essential. Enjoy prolonged foreplay, intimate massage or just kiss and cuddle to lower those stress levels. Set the alarm 30 minutes earlier and enjoy wake-up sex.”
  3. Ditch the tech
    “Keep the phone out of the bedroom unless you are using it to film the action! One in four of us text before we go to sleep and over one third of people take their laptop to bed, so make sure you don’t fall into that trap to avoid stress before bedtime. Checking work emails before bedtime is likely to boost stress just when you don’t need it. Leave them till the morning.”
  4. Get more sleep
    “Stress can affect our sleeping patterns, but a good night’s sleep keeps our sexual engines humming. Healthy people who have good sleep patterns are going to be more open to being sexual.”

What to do if you don’t have a better orgasm right away

Try not to feel defeated if you don’t have a better orgasm right away. “You shouldn’t ever feel deflated after an orgasm because sex should always be a positive thing done consensually,” says Annabelle. “It’s just that some orgasms are better than others.”

Try to distract yourself for a bit. “Orgasms are a huge part of sexual satisfaction, but focusing on them too much can actually prevent you from achieving regular orgasms,” says Annabelle. “Instead, focus on your own individual pleasure and on what feels good in the moment. This is called ‘non demanding touch’ and is important in bringing you and your partner together through activities such as sensual massage or mutual masturbation.”

How to always have an orgasm

Just want an orgasm, and not necessarily one that’s “better” than normal? 

“Nothing is ‘fool proof’ when it comes to sex,” says Annabelle. “We are humans, not robots. The quality of the sex we enjoy is determined by so many things including physical wellbeing and the emotional connection you have with your partner as well as more practical considerations such as how much alcohol you have drunk beforehand.”

Sounds familiar? “By using good sexual techniques and communicating openly with your partner you can certainly greatly improve the frequency and intensity of your orgasm,” says Annabelle. “But it would be wrong to say that you could fool-proof the whole process. No one can do that, no matter how good they are at sex.”

What happens if a woman doesn’t climax?

Been sexually active for a while and never had an orgasm at all?

“It’s uncommon, but not impossible for women to struggle to climax,” says Annabelle. “Taking certain medications, stress, inadequate stimulation and some medical conditions can all contribute to difficulty in reaching orgasm.”

Worried it’s something more serious? “Anorgasmia is the persistent inability to achieve orgasm despite responding to sexual stimulation. It’s a recognised medical term.” Sounds like you? “A woman over 40 who doesn’t think she has ever had an orgasm should see her GP – she is denying herself one of the greatest pleasures life has to offer,” says Annabelle. “Her doctor will be able to determine whether the root cause is physical or psychological. Sometimes there can be a very simple solution such as the use of lubrication to make foreplay and intercourse less painful, particularly in women who struggle physically to self-lubricate.”

Why do some people struggle to orgasm?

Wondering if your problem with having an orgasm is physical or psychological? “Both factors are significant, but I tend to find that physical reasons are more common,” says Annabelle. “It really comes down to poor sexual technique and a lack of stimulation. Remember only one in three women can regularly climax through intercourse alone without further clitoral stimulation. That means if you don’t provide some extra help, seven out of ten women are unlikely to have an orgasm during sex. That is an awful lot of women. Too many women are afraid to address this fundamental issue and enjoy the sex they deserve.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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4 things about female orgasms researchers actually study

Cardi B’s song WAP and the Netflix show Sex Education place female orgasms on centre stage in popular culture.

By

But female orgasms are also the subject of serious academic research.

Here’s a snapshot of what research tells us about female orgasms, what we don’t know, and what researchers want to find out.

1. When women orgasm, what actually happens?

When women orgasm, their pelvic floor muscles contract rhythmically and involuntarily. These contractions are thought to help move blood out of erect tissues of the clitoris and vulva, allowing them to return to their usual flaccid (floppy) state.

During sexual arousal and orgasm, women’s heart rate, respiration rate and blood pressure also rise.

Levels of oxytocin, known as the “love hormone”, increase during sexual arousal and are thought to peak during orgasm.

The areas of the brain associated with dopamine, the “happy hormone”, are activated in men and women.

And in women, other areas of the brain are activated further during sexual arousal and peak with orgasm. These include those associated with emotions, the integration of sensory information and emotions, higher-level thinking, and motor areas associated with pelvic floor muscles.

The “right angular gyrus” part of the brain may also be linked with an altered state of consciousness some women say they experience when they orgasm.

What is trickier to determine is how the body and brain relate. We know the frequency and intensity of female orgasms depends on a range of complex psychosocial factors, including a woman’s sexual desires, self-esteem, openness of sexual communication with their partner, and general mental health.

2. Not all women orgasm. Is that a problem?

Orgasms are not a big deal for all women, and that’s completely normal.

And 21% of Australian women aged 20-64 say they cannot climax. From a simplistic biological viewpoint, anorgasmia (the inability to orgasm despite adequate sexual stimulation) is also not a problem. However, women with anorgasmia often report shame, inadequacy, anxiety, distress and detachment surrounding intercourse and orgasm.

These negative emotions might be related to the long history of suppression, and now celebration, of women’s sexual pleasure.

For many women, orgasms represent empowerment. Understandably, then, anorgasmia can leave women feeling as though there is something wrong with them. Some might fake orgasm, which around two-thirds report doing. This is usually to make them feel better about themselves, or to make their partners feel better.

 
Many women say they fake their orgasms, as portrayed in the classic movie When Harry Met Sally.

More than 80% of women won’t orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. So if anorgasmia is a problem, trying different types of stimulation might help, particularly clitoral stimulation.

When anorgasmia leads to negative feelings or gets in the way of forming or sustaining healthy sexual relationships, it becomes a problem. But certain websites, “sextech” (technology that aims to enhance female sexual experiences), and dedicated health professionals can help.

3. Can you over-orgasm?

No! While a survey run by an online dating site suggests 77% of women have had multiple orgasms, academic research suggests the figure is much lower, at around 14%.

Some women who have multiple orgasms report their second orgasm as the strongest, but ones after that become less intense.

Just make sure you have enough lubrication to last the distance, as prolonged stimulation without sufficient lubrication can lead to pain.

Around 50% of women in one study said they use vibrators to reach orgasm (or multiple orgasms). Some people say vibrators can decrease the sensitivity of the clitoris, making it harder for women to orgasm through clitoral stimulation that doesn’t involve vibration. However, most research finds any desensitisation is mild and transitory.

4. What use is it anyway?

Evolutionists tend to take three views on why the female orgasm has evolved: to increase the success of reproduction; to enhance pair-bonding between women and their sexual partner; or the one I consider the most likely, is that women’s orgasms do not serve any evolutionary purpose at all. They are simply a by-product of evolution, existing because the male and female genitals develop in a similar way as embryos, and only begin to differentiate at about six weeks’ gestation.

Just because women’s orgasms do not serve an evolutionary purpose, that doesn’t mean they aren’t important. Women’s orgasms are important because for many women, they contribute to healthy relationships and their sexual well-being.

What’s left to find out?

For a long time, we’ve assumed details about the female orgasm based on its male counterpart. And it’s only since 2011 that we’ve been able to map what happens in women’s brains during sexual stimulation. So there’s plenty about the female brain during orgasm we haven’t yet explored.

We’ve only recently learned about the true size and function of the clitoris. We’re also still debating whether the G-spot exists.

Women’s sexuality, desires, likes and dislikes are also incredibly varied. And in this article, we’ve only talked about, and included research with, cis-gendered females, people whose gender identity and expression matches the sex they were assigned at birth.

So we also need more research with gender-diverse people to better understand the complexity and diversity of orgasm and sexuality.

Whether science can explain all these differences in the complexity of the human being remains to be seen.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Why you need to prioritise your own orgasm

– and it’s not only because they feel amazing

Sadly, no one else will do it for you.

by Faye M Smith

Can’t remember the last time you had an orgasm? For most women, they last just 10.9 seconds. And, while that may seem rather quick, orgasms can do more than just make you feel good in that short space of time. So you could be missing out on vital health benefits!

If you need help to prioritise your own orgasm, then trying one of the best vibrators could be for you. More than a quarter of British women claim they are “more likely” to orgasm if they use one, found sexual wellness brand Lovehoney.

So, why should you prioritise your own orgasm? Well, not only do the endorphins released during arousal help ease pain, but a study in Israel found that women who had two orgasms per week were 30% less likely to have heart disease. Plus, American research found that menopausal women who had an orgasm every week had oestrogen levels twice as high as those who didn’t, which is essential for protecting bones.

But, with the average woman taking 13 minutes and 25 seconds to climax, according to the Kadave Institute of Medical Sciences, many women don’t feel they have time to fit more sex or masturbation into their already busy lives. “Too many women are afraid to address this fundamental issue and enjoy the sex they deserve,” says Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert with Lovehoney.

This is why you need to prioritise your own orgasm. Ready? Here’s how to make sure you have an orgasm every time…

Learn to de-stress and prioritise your own orgasm

Pressures with work or family will directly affect when (or if) you reach climax. “The biggest psychological barrier to orgasm is stress – it’s essentially a sexual poison,” says Annabelle.

Timing is key, so choose a time to have sex or masturbate when you’re not rushing around. Plus, remember to breathe deeply throughout; it will help you block out distractions. A belter of an orgasm is achievable – you just need to relax.

Tightening your pelvic floor can help you orgasm

A weakened pelvic floor can cause a loss in sensation, yet a third of women are too embarrassed to bring the topic up with their GP, found a survey by wellness charity Jo’s Cervical Trust.

“Learning to control your pelvic floor can help you climax,” says Annabelle. Tone up by doing 100-200 pelvic floor contractions daily. Never done them before? Imagine you are stopping a fart, then a wee, then draw these two feelings in together.

Changing positions can help you prioritise your own orgasm

Is your sex life predictable? If it’s the same position every Tuesday after EastEnders, then, sadly, it is. Mixing things up could make accessing your G-spot easier. Need inspiration? Then have sex somewhere different, such as outside or in the shower.

“Trying new positions is important for increasing your orgasm potential, as is remembering that 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm,” says Annabelle. “Some positions are better for this than others, such as missionary. Make sure that you and your partner move in a circular motion, rather than thrust, as this maximises stimulation.”

Faking an orgasm is a waste of time when it comes to your pleasure

Faking your orgasms because you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings? “It’s one of the most damaging things a person can do to their own sexual happiness,” warns Annabelle.

“If your partner’s doing something good in bed, tell them. If they’re not, remind them of a time you experienced pleasure and express a desire to repeat this. Reading erotic fiction together can help, as it includes scenarios you could both explore. This also removes sexual responsibility and eliminates any blame your partner might feel if you were to talk directly to them about something you don’t like.”

Eating right can help you prioritise your orgasm

Feeling hungry? Oysters, chocolate, peppers, eggs and spinach can improve your chances of reaching orgasm. “Aphrodisiacs create a sense of heightened sexual state – sometimes just thinking about an aphrodisiac may work as one,” says Annabelle.

“They can also work by producing chemicals linked to sexual desire and increase blood flow, meaning our genitals have access to a ready supply of blood, which makes them engorged and leads to sexual arousal.”

Knowing that you deserve an orgasm will help you have one

“Women have had a rough deal when it comes to sexual pleasure and many struggle with issues, such as shame,” says Annabelle. In fact, a survey by sex-toy brand Tenga found that only 14% of British females were taught about pleasure as part of their sexual education.

“At school, anything to do with sex is discussed with the view that it’s for procreation and nothing else,” says Annabelle. “This delivers a damaging message to women that their pleasure is not only unimportant, but also not to be expected.”

Why you should seek help if you struggle to orgasm

Feel your sex-to-orgasm ratio isn’t sufficiently balanced? Don’t be afraid to seek help from a professional. “A woman who doesn’t think she has had an orgasm should see her GP. She’s denying herself one of the greatest pleasures life has to offer,” says Annabelle.

Thankfully, there are simple changes that can solve the situation. “Certain medications and medical conditions can contribute to lack of orgasm,” says Annabelle. “Usually, though, it’s purely down to poor sexual technique and not enough lubrication, which can make foreplay and intercourse painful.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!