Category: Vaginal Orgasm

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6 Types of Orgasms You Didn’t Know You Could Have

By AnnaMarie Houlis

When we talk about orgasms, it covers a wide range of conversations. After all, orgasms manifest differently for everyone — they may feel different, come through different sensations, last for different durations and affect us in a wealth of different ways. In fact, they may even derive from different pleasure points. And some people aren’t even particularly wild about the feeling.

There’s a plethora of possible orgasms a person may be able to achieve, if that is indeed their intention. It’s important to note, however, that though a variety of orgasms exist, they’re neither feasible for nor necessarily appealing to all people — and that’s OK. Here, we’ll be focusing on orgasms for people who have a vagina and clitoris — not all of whom identify as women.

“If you don’t have certain types of orgasms, it doesn’t make you less capable of pleasure, and it doesn’t make you less of a woman,” Gigi Engle, certified sex coach, sex educator with The Alexander Institute and pleasure professional at O.School, tells SheKnows. “People experience pleasure and sexuality in such a variety and myriad of ways; whatever brings you pleasure is the most valid. It’s just important to have information so you have the tools you want or need for however you choose to explore your own sexuality… Because let’s be clear: Your body is amazing.”

Engle adds that putting pressure on yourself to achieve orgasm may actually have the opposite effect. Your narrative should focus on experiencing sexual pleasure in and of itself as opposed to reaching orgasm, which she calls a “happy byproduct.”

Regardless of how you choose to explore your sexuality, Engle reiterates a common misconception that achieving orgasm denotes the culmination of a sexual experience — that the goal of sex is always to orgasm and, if it doesn’t happen, the sexual experience was incomplete or invalid or that you or your partner didn’t perform well. “Sex should be about bringing your partner pleasure, bringing yourself pleasure and enjoying that intimate experience as opposed to seeing it as goal-oriented,” she explains.

Certified sexologist Barbara Carrellas adds that if you do want more or different orgasms, you should practice alone first so you can effectively communicate with your partner.

“Your partner is not responsible for your orgasms — you are,” she says. “The better you know your body, the more you’ll be able to bring yourself to orgasm with their help… Just don’t try so hard. Release your expectations about what an orgasm is ‘supposed’ to be like. Release your assumptions about how an orgasm happens. If it feels good, do it; if it doesn’t feel good, stop. If it works for you, do it; if it doesn’t, try something else. There is no ‘normal.’ Everything is ‘normal.’”

And most of all, remember that these are only possibilities to explore if you’re curious and comfortable. To each their own, always. With that said, here are six little-known potential byproducts of sexual pleasure you may or may not want to take a crack at some time.

Anal Orgasm

Anal sex is still largely a taboo topic, but evermore women are giving it a go — and quite liking it. In 2009, the National Survey of Sex and Behavior found that 94 percent of women studied had reached orgasm from anal sex — a higher rate of orgasm than the women who had vaginal intercourse or received oral sex. So, what it is about anal sex?

Though the anatomy of the clitoris is still largely debated, Engle says that in people with a clitoris, all orgasms, regardless of how they manifest, are clitoral — even orgasms that occur from anal penetration. The clitoris, she says, is the epicenter of all female pleasure. 

“There are some women — it doesn’t work for everybody — who have orgasms through anal sex; they’re able to reach the interior walls of the clitoris through the anus,” Engle explains.

The anal canal itself is rich in nerve endings, but the rectum, which sits just past the canal, shares a thin wall with the vaginal canal, she notes. This means that the G-spot, the internal apex of the clitoris, can be reached indirectly through the anus.

“The G-spot is actually the back of the clitoris. You’re just reaching it internally where the internal clitoris is — and it’s not a spot, per se, but it’s actually an area; it’s the area around the urethral sponge and urethral canal that connects to the back of the clitoris,” Engle adds. “So when you have a G-spot orgasm, it’s also a clitoral-based orgasm.”

The clitoris boasts some 8,000 nerve fibers. While nearly 37 percent of American women require external clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm, there’s no “normal.” So, yes, some women can orgasm from any sort of stimulation, including indirect internal stimulation via anal sex.

Energy Orgasm

An energy orgasm can be an erotic experience.

What happens during an energy orgasm is unique. An energy orgasm releases accumulated tension in both the body and mind and sometimes connects to the spirit according to Carrellas. Carrellas coaches individuals and groups in tantra workshops that cover conscious sexuality. She’s also authored three books on the subject. 

“An energy orgasm is the kind of orgasm we experience when we suddenly release stored-up tension and energy,” she says. “In many ways, it’s similar to the physical volcanic orgasm [characterized by a quick buildup, a rapid release and a cool-down] with a major exception — it does not feel as localized. It is still a genital orgasm, but afterward, you feel as though the tension has been drained out of your arms and legs. Your hands and fingers may tingle. Your chest feels more open, and you can breathe more easily and deeply. The relaxation is profound and satisfying.”

That said, while orgasms are seldom observed outside the realm of sexual activity, an energy orgasm is limited to neither sex nor any kind of physical stimulation. Rather, an energy orgasm will flow out to the “limits of your body and beyond,” Carrellas says.

“You may feel boundaryless, as if you can’t tell where you end and everything else begins,” she explains. “You may feel as if you are in a sort of alternate universe where everything is beautiful, quiet and peacefully connected. Your orgasm is happening everywhere and nowhere, and it may go on and on. Afterward, you may feel energized or you may feel peaceful and blissed-out.”

It’s also possible to have an energy orgasm through the act of giving of pleasure, Engle says. “I’ve worked with women in the past who can have an orgasm simply from giving a blow job, either through the sheer erotic energy of giving a partner who they love that kind of pleasure or giving a blow job while grinding against one of their legs, which can stimulate the clitoris and, because it’s such an erotic experience, orgasm,” she notes.

In fact, Corey Folsom, a certified tantric educator at the Source School of Tantra Yoga, says that energy is a more effective facilitator of orgasm than friction.

“We are learning to have energy sex in combination with friction sex,” he tells SheKnows.

On top of Engle’s example of an energy-friction combo, Folsom calls out a “heart orgasm” in particular, which he says can be initiated from a pure energy exchange between partners (read: eye-gazing).

Emotional Orgasm

Again, orgasms aren’t necessarily inherently sexual. “Emotion-gasms,” as Carrellas calls them, elicit the same buildup of energy — a combination of breath, movement, sound and muscular contractions — followed by a release. It may or may not be an erotic emotion.

“Emotion-gasms are ‘total’ experiences; you allow your body to express its emotions without trying to stifle them,” she says. 

Have you ever laughed so hard you thought you might actually die of laughter? Carrellas explains that in that instance, your diaphragm spasmed, and you could barely get a breath. When you finally did get a big breath and you eventually stopped laughing, she says the feeling could be similar to that of an orgasm. 

How about cry-gasms? According to Carrellas, this can describe that feeling of release and relief after a good cry. Or anger-gasms? Have you ever let yourself release years of rage in one long rage-gasm? “The physiological ingredients of an emotion-gasm are the same as a genital orgasm,” she explains.

Emotion-gasms don’t depend on any particular emotion, Carrellas adds. To reach an emotion-gasm requires a degree on concentration, however. And that concentration can be centered on nonsexual feelings or eroticism alike.

Nipple Orgasm

Nipples are well-known erogenous zones, but that women may have the ability to reach orgasm through intentional stimulation isn’t such common knowledge. A wealth of research dating back to the early ’50s, like one published in 2011 in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy, suggests that nipple stimulation can indeed lead to orgasm. 

“A nipple orgasm takes a lot of trust with your partner and a lot of patience and empathy because it can be a very emotionally intense and kind of nerve-wracking way to have an orgasm,” Engle says. “Women already have enough pressure on themselves as it is to have an orgasm. So if you’re trying to have one in an unusual way, it may not work for you unless you’re with someone you trust and have that intimacy.”

So how can a nipple orgasm happen? The body’s biggest sex organ is the brain, Engle explains, and all nerve endings, both from the nipples and the genitals, connect in the brain.

“Your nipples, especially, because they’re a specific erogenous zone, have a direct nerve ending that connects to the clitoral network,” Engle explains. “When you stimulate the nipples, you’re sending these connections to the clitoris.”

Essentially, sensory activity from the breasts projects to the same neurons that receive sensory activity from the genitals, and these neurons produce and secrete oxytocin all the same way according to a 2011 article published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

“No matter where in the body an orgasm may be triggered, all orgasms ultimately happen in the brain, and in different areas of the brain,” Carrellas adds. “Neurologically, orgasm seems much like meditation in that the areas of the brain that are activated depend in part upon what kind of stimulus brought us to the state of meditation or orgasm.”

Folsom adds that adopting a meditative — or rather, tantric — attitude can actually help you feel arousal on deeper levels.

“When we tune up our bodies and the practice of attention, we can have more varied orgasms — these include waves of pleasure that emanate from nipples, heart, G-spot…” he says. “The feeling in any of these pleasure centers can be transmuted into the crown chakra, resulting in a ‘pleasure wash’ in your brain. This replicates the pleasure that what we usually associate with our genitals inside our head.”

Zone Orgasm

Contrary to popular belief, genital stimulation isn’t necessary for some people to achieve orgasm. Research from 2011 calls a nongenital orgasm a “zone orgasm,” which the researchers had described as an orgasm that “occurs when a sensitive spot or zone on the body of a person not usually used for erotic stimulation is stimulated to a peak.”

Of the 216 people surveyed in the study, published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 31 women said they’d had a zone orgasm, many of them experiencing this through stimulation of the neck, earlobes, underarms, hips, thighs, toes and fingers. In fact, some women reported to have reached orgasm from kissing alone.

“The backs of the knees are a really great place, and the inner thighs are a great place to start,” Engle says of erogenous zones. “The back of the neck, under the ears, even the scalp can actually be an incredible erogenous zone. Starting with a sensual head scratch can waken up sexual desire inside of you and get the juices flowing.”

But your entire epidermis, all of your skin, can be an erogenous zone if you want it to be, she explains. The mind is a powerful tool.

“I think people focus too much on finding these magical erogenous zones when, really, anything can be an erogenous zone if you want it to be and if you believe it enough,” Engle says.  

Engle isn’t the first to suggest that thinking erotically can manifest erotic experiences, either. Rutgers University’s Nan Wise, a cognitive neuroscientist, has investigated brain activity during imagined genital stimulation, for example, and his research suggests that women can actually activate the same regions of the brain that are active during physical stimulation by merely imagining stimulation. Perhaps that’s why some women have reported psychic orgasms (orgasms that occur during dreaming).

In other words, women may be able to “think off,” which means wanting and believing an experience to be sexually satisfying could really yield sexual results.

Coregasm

Exercise gets the heart rate pumping, the blood rushing, the muscles contracting and the breath intensifying. That sounds a lot like an orgasm, which might contribute to the fact that some women are actually having orgasms while doing it. A study from Indiana University published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy in 2012 found that exercise can bring on orgasms — these are oft referred to as “coregasms” because, typically, abdominal exercises are what induces them.

The researchers administered an online survey to 124 women who had reported experiencing exercise-induced orgasms and 246 women who’d experienced exercise-induced sexual pleasure. They found that, of the women surveyed (ages 18 to 63), about 40 percent of women who had experienced exercise-induced orgasms and exercise-induced sexual pleasure had done so on more than 10 occasions. Most of them (51.4 percent) reported experiencing an orgasm in connection with abdominal exercises within the previous 90 days. That said, the phenomenon happened during different exercises, such as weight lifting (26.5 percent), yoga (20 percent), bicycling (15.8 percent), running (13.2 percent) and walking/hiking (9.6 percent).

While the reasons behind exercise-induced orgasms are still being studied, their intensity (like all orgasms) may waver with the breath. The breath is a potent tool — one that can deepen any pleasurable experience.

“Any type of orgasm sensation can be heightened and extended in time by the use of tantric breath practices,” Folsom says. “A five-second orgasm may be extended to 30 seconds, for instance.”

In partnered sex, partners are well-served to have a shared priority to practice open and skilled communication in addition to the couple’s breathing, energy and sexual movement practices, Folsom advises.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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8 tips to have better and more intense orgasms

By Ava English

  • To have a better orgasm, stimulate your c-spot, p-spot, or g-spot.
  • To have a more intense orgasm, try edging or kegel exercises.
  • There’s no evidence that masturbating or watching porn less frequently can improve your orgasm.

Regardless of what you call it — climaxing, coming, or finishing — orgasms are often considered the peak of a sexual experience. However, they can also be a bit of an enigma, and, for some, difficult to achieve.

According to sex experts, here are some ways you can improve your orgasm:

1. Find the right spot

Your genitals are loaded with nerve endings, but some spots are more sensitive than others. And stimulating the right spot may lead to a more intense and pleasurable orgasm.

Stimulate the clitoris

One way to enhance partnered sex is to incorporate clitoral stimulation to boost your pleasure. The clitoris is a major erogenous zone, comparable to a penis, in terms of nerve endings and physiology structure and you can stimulate it in various ways starting with the C-spot.

The C-spot is the part of the clitoris that is visible. This spot holds many nerve endings and is super sensitive to touch. Therefore, stimulating it during masturbation or partnered sex can lead to extremely intense orgasms. 

Another well-known spot is the G-spot, which is thought to be an erogenous zone located within the vaginal canal. However, Mathis Kennington, PhD, a certified sex therapist and co-founder of The Practice in Austin and The Couple Lab, says that this intense stimulation is actually another type of clitoral stimulation.

“The clitoris is much larger than most people know,” says Kennington, “often women who feel a G-spot-like orgasm are actually just feeling a different part of their clitoris being stimulated through penetration,” says Kennington.

Clitoral stimulation often doesn’t happen during penetrative sex alone. In fact, a 2017 survey published in the Journal of Sex and Marital therapy found that out of 1055 women in the US only 18.4% of them reported the ability to orgasm from penetrative sex alone.

You can stimulate the clitoris by using your hands, your partner’s hands, or a toy like a vibrator.

Stimulate the P-spot 

The P-spot refers to the prostate. The prostate is a reproductive organ located below the bladder that produces semen.

Some people find that stimulating this area leads to quick and extremely intense orgasms. You or a partner can stimulate this area with fingers “either directly through insertion into the anus or through the skin by massaging the space underneath his testicles and above the anus,” says Kennington.

2. Practice mindfulness

Getting in touch with sensations during daily activities can help you enhance your pleasure and intensity of orgasms in the bedroom. Sex is, after all, quite sensual.

Emily Jamea, PhD, a certified sex therapist at REVIVE in Houston, conducted research published in Sexual and Relationships Therapy that found heightening sensuality — or the ability to tune into the five senses — outside the bedroom improves sexual satisfaction inside the bedroom by strengthening the mind-body connection.

The study consisted of 195 individuals over the age of 25 in secure, long-term relationships. The participants completed a survey that measured attachment, sensuality, curiosity, imagination, and sexual satisfaction. Within this group, sensuality and imagination were significantly correlated with optimal sexual satisfaction.

For example, people who reported that they savor the food they eat or actually notice the warmth of the sun on their face while out for a walk have an easier time connecting with the sensual pleasures of sex.

This approach may be especially useful for people raised as women. In particular, with regards to being mindful of the sensations on your body during routine activities such as showering. People raised as women sometimes struggle to connect with pleasure sensations, and becoming more mindful of bodily sensation in general, “can help women overcome a mind-body disconnect and improve their sexual experiences,” says Jamea.

3. Try masturbating 

Mastering masturbation may lead to better and more frequent orgasms during partnered sex because it can help you know what gets you going.

“I always encourage my clients to explore their body so they know what makes them feel good,” says Jamea.

Oftentimes, people will cut out masturbation or porn consumption, thinking it will improve their orgasms during partnered sex. However, Kennington says there is no correlation between porn consumption, masturbation, and a better orgasm during partnered sex.

Masturbation and porn consumption can, however, get in the way of having good partnered sex if people are not honest about their sexual preferences with their partners. Porn is also not a always a realistic representation of sex or masturbation as it’s a form of entertainment, not education.

This can happen if someone experiences anxiety about their sexual preferences and outsource to porn, rather than talking openly to their partners about what they want sexually. Kennington describes this type of behavior as an erotic conflict, which can strain relationships sexually — and entirely — if not addressed.

Instead of cutting out masturbation entirely to improve orgasms during partnered sex, Jamea suggests that people should practice masturbating mindfully. This often means cutting out porn and focusing on connecting with sensations and what feels good.

Masturbation can also allow people to visually show their partners what makes them climax. This helps their partners understand what feels good to them sexually and can improve future partnered sex.

Jamea says that’s partly why, same-sex couples might have less difficulty than heterosexual couples when it comes to communicating sexual needs because each partner has an inherent understanding of the other’s anatomy.

4. Focus on foreplay

Foreplay extends sexual tension during partnered sex, which can lead to more pleasurable orgasms. It is an especially important component for those with vaginas.

The vagina often produces a natural lubricant when aroused to prepare the body for penetration. Foreplay is important before penetration because this lubricant makes penetrative partnered sex more comfortable.

Foreplay can also help narrow the orgasm gap for heterosexual partners. Men usually orgasm, or finish, before women, which oftentimes ends the sexual experience. “Men usually orgasm in 2 to 10 minutes, whereas women take 15 to 30 minutes on average,” says Jamea.

While Jamea says simultaneous orgasms are not realistic for every sexual experience, she encourages both partners to be equally considerate of each other’s pleasure during sex. Spending time focusing on one another’s pleasure during foreplay is one way to boost simultaneous sexual climax.

Try having your partner stimulate your c-spot, g,spot, or P-spot manually, or with a vibrator, or perform oral sex to experience intense pleasure during foreplay to improve your orgasm.

5. Overcome performance anxiety

Performance anxiety can often get in the way of experiencing maximum pleasure during partnered sex. Performance anxiety can stem from an insecurity about one’s sexual performance, body image, or how they think their partner feels about them sexually. This type of anxiety can result in those with penises ejaculating too quickly or not at all.

Often, people experience performance anxiety because they fixate solely on reaching orgasm for themselves or a partner, says Kennington, rather than focusing on what feels good during sex.

Focusing on the sensual pleasure of the experience during partnered sex, rather than achieving an orgasm, can help improve sexual experiences.

6. Try edging

Edging is the practice of ending sexual stimulation right as you are about to orgasm, waiting, and then beginning stimulation again to control the timing of your orgasm.

“Both the loss of control and the stimulation of a man’s penis either orally or manually over and over again can make an orgasm intensely pleasurable,” says Kennington. He says that for those with clitorises , edging serves the same purpose.

Communication between partners is important during edging so one can let the other know when they’re about to reach orgasm. Also, it can be important for partners to talk about the length of time they want to continue edging during sex. This will help both partners have a more enjoyable experience by making sure they have the same expectations.

7. Discuss sexual fantasies

Sexual fantasies are the arousing, erotic mental images we conjure up in our heads. While people can feel ashamed of these thoughts, daydreaming about sex is completely normal and even healthy.

Bringing up — and acting out — sexual fantasies can be an exciting way to spice up your sex life with a partner. Talking about sexual fantasies will help build desire for and with a partner, says Kennington, which is one of the most important factors of great sex.

Try talking to your partner about your sexual fantasies inside the bedroom as well as outside it. Just make sure to discuss boundaries and establish consent before engaging in any sexual behavior.

Learn more about how to approach your partner with a sexual fantasy with these tips.

8. Do kegels

Kegels are exercises that help strengthen pelvic floor muscles. “The more the pelvic floor muscles are strong and healthy, typically the better orgasms people will have,” says Jamea. Strong pelvic floor muscles can lead to more intense orgasms for everyone, not just those with vaginas.

Jamea recommends kegel exercises for people that ejaculate too quickly during partnered sex. Oftentimes, premature ejaculation, or quick orgasms, happen because the pelvic floor muscles are too tight. Doing these exercises can help people learn to relax these muscles during sex and therefore, have more enjoyable sexual experiences.

Before practicing kegels, it’s best to visit a pelvic physical therapist. They can help you determine what is safe and necessary for your body.

Learn more about the other health benefits of kegel exercises and how to do them.

Why can’t I orgasm?

“People struggle to reach orgasm if they have a hard time connecting with pleasure during a sexual experience,” says Jamea. This can happen for many reasons including a conflict in the relationship, poor body image, or difficulty connecting to one’s sensations during sex.

Kennington says there is no go-to position to guarantee an orgasm. He says, “positions are like brushstrokes, it all depends on the artist and the canvas.” The best thing you can do to have great orgasms is to learn about what works for you and for you and a partner sexually.

Both experts agree that in relationships, it is important each partner’s pleasure gets equal focus. However, this may not always result in an orgasm. Every person has a unique idea about what makes them feel satisfied sexually. It is important to have an ongoing and open dialogue with your partner about their sexual interests to maintain a healthy relationship.

As people age, natural changes can occur that can affect a person’s ability to orgasm. For example, menopause causes changes in vaginal walls which leads to a decreased production of natural lubrication. This can make vaginal sex uncomfortable and an extra lubricant might be needed to have a more enjoyable experience.

If you are concerned about libido or problems with your sex life, talk to your doctor. Many times there are medications or treatment plans that can help.

If you have never had an orgasm or are have had one in the past and are now having difficulty, consider reaching out to a certified sex therapist. They can work with you to identify potential sources — physical or psychological — that are causing this issue.

The bottom line

Open communication with your partner about sexual boundaries and interests is essential for a healthy sex life in relationships. “The platinum rule when it comes to sex and pleasure is to never have sex you don’t want to have,” says Kennington. This way, each partner can always and only engage in sex where they feel secure, thereby focusing on maximizing their pleasure.

Talking to your partner about what you want sexually can be a really un-sexy conversation. But,  this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, says Kennington. He suggests treating conversations about sex and pleasure like any other conversation. “What would you do if you have a culinary interest and your partner is a chef? You would tell them you want a steak and how you want it cooked.” Kennington says. The same goes for sex — communicate your desires and needs.

When it comes to planning this talk, Jamea says the best time to have it is at the kitchen table, rather than the bedroom. This way, you can address your partner in a non-threatening way. Right after sex, they may feel vulnerable, making it a less than ideal time.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Men are still having more orgasms than women

One in 20 women have never orgasmed with a sexual partner

By Almara Abgarian

If you thought the orgasm gap was a thing of the past, we are sadly here to tell you that this is not the case.

A new study from the sex toy company Lelo has revealed that men are still climaxing more often than women during sex, 66% compared to 43% respectively.

What’s more, almost one in 20 women have never orgasmed with a sexual partner.

The findings, which have been released for National Orgasm Day (that’s today) are the result of a survey with 4,000 heterosexual female and male participants from across the UK.

To make matters worse, not only do women climax less, but it appears many of their male partners are unaware that this is even happening, with majority of participants in relationships saying their partner orgasms 60% of the time.

This is still quite a low figure – but this could partially be due to some women not being physically able to climate during sex, rather than lack of trying by their partner.

More likely however, this is due to the orgasm gap.

What is the orgasm gap?

‘The orgasm gap refers to the stats that show that in heterosexual sexual experiences men orgasm more than women,’ explains Kate Moyle, sex and relationships expert at Lelo.

‘We also see that this gap doesn’t exist when women are having sexual experiences with women, which suggests that the gap is gendered.’

Kate explains that this is due to a variety of factors, such as lack of education, cultural differences and the fact that many people focus on intercourse to reach climax, where majority of women require clitoral stimulation to get off.

But why is the clitoris so often forgotten or ignored?

‘This is reinforced by what we see represented in many forms of sex online and in the media, where women appear to be orgasming from penetrative sex with little or no arousal,’ she says.

‘Commonly we also split up foreplay and sex, which puts the focus on “sex” as the main event, when if we reframe and think of it all as sex where the goal is pleasure then the clitoris, which is the main source of female pleasure with 8000 nerve endings would get more attention.

‘It’s not all about taking the focus off penetration, but ensuring that people are aware then when women are aroused, the clitoris becomes erect like the penis, and this means the internal structure can be stimulated and can create pleasurable sensations through intercourses, but arousal and being turned on is the key.’

‘The side effect of this lack of sex education is few of us feel confident with sexual communication, and being open about what feels good for us, and this is one of the key routes to creating change.’

Additional research by Lelo revealed three in 10 people fake their orgasms on a regular basis, with women more likely to do so, according to the study.

And only a third of those surveyed have spoken to their partner about their orgasms, or rather lack of orgasms – with men (73%) more likely to raise the issue, compared to women (56%).

If you’re missing out on orgasms, it’s time to speak up.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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These Badass Women Are Fighting To Close The Orgasm Gap For Good

by Carrie Arnold

The big O can boost your mood, help you sleep better, strengthen your immune system, improve your relationship, and more. But it makes everyone—and we mean everyone (doctors, universities, government agencies)—flinch. WH investigates why women are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to getting off, and talks to the brave ladies who are cutting through the red tape, so you can.

Lora Haddock figured her company might be controversial in some circles. After all, she was starting a woman-oriented pleasure-tech company and designing a sex toy that mimicked all the motions of a human partner. Better still, the gadget stimulated the clitoris and vagina simultaneously, without needing a hand to hold it in place.

But Haddock thought the tech world was ready for a product that was part robot, part vibrator, and all about a woman’s sexual pleasure. The Osé (pronounced oh-SAY) that Haddock designed as the head of her company, Lora DiCarlo, had 52 complex engineering requirements, as well as a slew of patents pending before it hit the market. Haddock knew the Osé was something special—and groundbreaking—because it used the latest technology to give women what they want.

The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) thought so too, notifying Haddock last fall that it would be awarding the Osé its 2019 Robotics & Drones Innovation Award. But before the ink had dried on the notice of their honor, the CES revoked its award. “Our jaws hit the floor,” Haddock says.

In a letter Haddock shared with WH, CES quoted terms buried deep in the small print: “Entries deemed by CTA [Consumer Technology Association, the organization behind the annual CES show] in their sole discretion to be immoral, obscene, indecent, profane, or not in keeping with CTA’s image will be disqualified.” Never mind, of course, that current and past exhibitors had demoed augmented reality porn and a robot sex doll that can give blow jobs.

The double standard struck a nerve, and Haddock fired back with an open letter to CES, writing, “You cannot pretend to be unbiased if you allow a sex robot for men but not a vagina-focused equivalent.” In other words, the organization was okay with helping a guy get his rocks off, but not a woman. The implied message was that women’s sexual health is not worthy of innovation.

Months passed after that slap in the face. Then, fortunately, CES reinstated Haddock’s award in May 2019, right before this story went to press, stating that “CTA recognizes the innovative technology that went into the development of Osé and reiterates its sincere apology to the Lora DiCarlo team.”

As this debacle shows, in our boner-centric culture, female orgasm still remains taboo. Climaxing is all well and good if it gives a man another notch on his belt, but when a female-identifying individual has an orgasm for the sake of an orgasm, people start to squirm (and not in a good way).

“There’s an overvaluing of male sexual pleasure and a devaluing of female sexual pleasure,” says Laurie Mintz, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Florida and the author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How to Get It. And this imbalance, more than anything else, is helping to drive what researchers call the orgasm gap. A large survey of American adults found that nearly 95 percent of men had an orgasm during their last sexual encounter, but only two-thirds of women did.

The big O can boost your mood, help you sleep better, strengthen your immune system, improve your relationship, and more. But it makes everyone—and we mean everyone (doctors, universities, government agencies)—flinch. WH investigates why women are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to getting off, and talks to the brave ladies who are cutting through the red tape, so you can.

Lora Haddock figured her company might be controversial in some circles. After all, she was starting a woman-oriented pleasure-tech company and designing a sex toy that mimicked all the motions of a human partner. Better still, the gadget stimulated the clitoris and vagina simultaneously, without needing a hand to hold it in place.

But Haddock thought the tech world was ready for a product that was part robot, part vibrator, and all about a woman’s sexual pleasure. The Osé (pronounced oh-SAY) that Haddock designed as the head of her company, Lora DiCarlo, had 52 complex engineering requirements, as well as a slew of patents pending before it hit the market. Haddock knew the Osé was something special—and groundbreaking—because it used the latest technology to give women what they want.

The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) thought so too, notifying Haddock last fall that it would be awarding the Osé its 2019 Robotics & Drones Innovation Award. But before the ink had dried on the notice of their honor, the CES revoked its award. “Our jaws hit the floor,” Haddock says.

In a letter Haddock shared with WH, CES quoted terms buried deep in the small print: “Entries deemed by CTA [Consumer Technology Association, the organization behind the annual CES show] in their sole discretion to be immoral, obscene, indecent, profane, or not in keeping with CTA’s image will be disqualified.” Never mind, of course, that current and past exhibitors had demoed augmented reality porn and a robot sex doll that can give blow jobs.

The double standard struck a nerve, and Haddock fired back with an open letter to CES, writing, “You cannot pretend to be unbiased if you allow a sex robot for men but not a vagina-focused equivalent.” In other words, the organization was okay with helping a guy get his rocks off, but not a woman. The implied message was that women’s sexual health is not worthy of innovation.

Months passed after that slap in the face. Then, fortunately, CES reinstated Haddock’s award in May 2019, right before this story went to press, stating that “CTA recognizes the innovative technology that went into the development of Osé and reiterates its sincere apology to the Lora DiCarlo team.”

As this debacle shows, in our boner-centric culture, female orgasm still remains taboo. Climaxing is all well and good if it gives a man another notch on his belt, but when a female-identifying individual has an orgasm for the sake of an orgasm, people start to squirm (and not in a good way).

“There’s an overvaluing of male sexual pleasure and a devaluing of female sexual pleasure,” says Laurie Mintz, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Florida and the author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How to Get It. And this imbalance, more than anything else, is helping to drive what researchers call the orgasm gap. A large survey of American adults found that nearly 95 percent of men had an orgasm during their last sexual encounter, but only two-thirds of women did.

It’s likely that gap only gets wider when sex happens outside of a committed relationship, because in those circumstances men may not feel the need to reciprocate pleasure, and women may not know how to approach the topic. The impact is felt far outside the bedroom. Missing out on orgasm means not only that you’re unable to enjoy its health benefits, such as better mood, deeper sleep, relief from headaches, and glowing skin, but also that you’re missing out on a fundamental human experience that’s fun to boot.

Well, that blows (for lack of a better term). There’s a lot to unpack here, and it’s a twisted tale of gender-biased hookup culture, poor research funding, hypocritical subway advertising rules (we’ll get to those later), and oh-so-much more. But the promising news is that women are fighting back and taking charge of their bodies and their sex lives—for good.

Pleasure 101

It starts as early as our first class in sex ed. We learn the names and functions of the different genitals, and, if we’re lucky, we learn about more than just abstinence, including how to prevent pregnancy and STDs. There are periods and body hair, and that’s about it. One of the many things missing? Pleasure, especially for her.

It’s no surprise, then, that in a survey of college women, nearly 30 percent could not identify the proper location of the clitoris. Alison Ash, PhD, a sex and relationship expert in San Francisco, says it’s not just a lack of proper sex ed that’s causing this ignorance. “Scientists didn’t discover the full anatomy of the clitoris until 1998—decades after they put a man on the moon,” she says. So the results of being sidelined become apparent as soon as women start having sex.

As a doctoral student in sociology at Stanford, Ash studied heterosexual hookup culture and found that “a lot of women don’t know what they want or how to ask for it,” she says. “Women are prioritizing what they think is their partner’s well-being over their own pleasure.”

Her data revealed that hookups were focused on him. Only 11 percent of women experienced climax the first time with a new partner, although the percentage increased in long-term relationships. Researchers from Indiana University analyzed data from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, with a pool of 1,931 adults in the U.S. ages 18 to 59, and found that this gap wasn’t just a youth phenomenon—it was happening at all ages. Men are 27 percent more likely to report having an orgasm than women during a sexual encounter, found research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

What’s more, in many heterosexual relationships, a woman’s orgasm is seen as a reflection not of her desire and satisfaction but of her partner’s sexual prowess and masculinity, according to a study in the Journal of Sex Research. It’s partly why 67 percent of women have faked an orgasm with a partner, compared with just 28 percent of men: Heterosexual women know that what’s at stake is not so much our own pleasure, but his ego.

Although it’s easier for people with penises to be sure they’ve climaxed because they release semen, another factor is that women understand so much less about what they want and what brings them pleasure. And that’s a major problem. Not only do orgasms boost immunity and help combat stress (yes, please!), but the chemical release actually helps partners bond. Fibbing about the big O or avoiding it altogether? It might be easier in the short term to avoid asserting your needs in bed, but over time, couples lose a valuable opportunity to communicate.

“You have to figure out what you like, then you have to be brave enough to ask for it specifically, and ask and ask again until your partner gets it right,” says sex therapist Aline Zoldbrod, PhD.

Paging Dr. Orgasm…

Hello? Is anybody there? With so much cultural and medical ignorance around female orgasms, you might think funding agencies would be willing to support scientists who are studying the problem. You’d be wrong.

Despite 43 percent of women reporting some type of sexual dysfunction, research on women and orgasms is shockingly sparse—or nonexistent. The National Institutes of Health funded no research over the past decade specifically devoted to improving women’s orgasms, according to a WH analysis of NIH grants.

Female researchers are feeling this discrepancy firsthand. As a junior faculty member at UCLA, neurophysiologist Nicole Prause, PhD, says the university ethics board refused to let her conduct experiments measuring the physiological responses of couples having sex in the lab without providing her with specific objections about why the research was blocked.

After a decade of trying to make it in academia, this obstacle was the last straw. Prause finally gave up and founded Liberos, an independent sex research institute in Los Angeles, to continue her work around sexual pleasure. (When contacted, a UCLA rep responded that “out of respect for all employees and consistent with university policy, we do not discuss circumstances surrounding change of employment status.”)

Blunt without being rude, Prause urges her colleagues to take female pleasure seriously and bring more rigor to their work. At a recent conference, she attended a session where researchers asked study participants to eat chocolate in order to measure pleasure.

“I asked why they didn’t have the participants stimulate their own genitals. And they looked at me like I was an alien,” she says. Prause points out that the general public is eager for this type of research. She never has problems recruiting participants for her studies. When she recently placed an ad on Craigslist for one, she had more than 400 calls and emails within 30 minutes. “Orgasm is safe, free, and accessible; why wouldn’t we want to fund research about it?” Prause asks.

University of Michigan bioengineering PhD student Lauren Zimmerman, 25, knows this problem all too well. Her lab at the university is devoted to the stimulation of nerves in the lower leg and near the genitalia for treatment of overactive bladder. What piqued Zimmerman’s interest was when she learned that stimulating these same nerves might also help women who couldn’t achieve orgasm. She received funding for a small pilot trial to see if small amounts of painless electrical stimulation on the tibial nerve in the ankle and a nerve near the clitoris could improve women’s ability to climax, but she ran into difficulties securing funding for follow-up research. When she talked with officials about her project, they seemed interested. “When it came time for decisions, it never seemed to fall in my favor,” Zimmerman says.

Clinical psychologist Erin Cooper, PhD, says this is par for the course among sex researchers. “We’re trying to understand the female orgasm, more than ever. But there simply isn’t much money going toward this research.”

After rounds of applications, Zimmerman found funds that would provide financial support for her as a scientist rather than for her specific project. She easily recruited participants and discovered that 12 weekly stimulation sessions could improve a woman’s ability to reach orgasm. But when she presented those results at one scientific conference, she says she was laughed out of the room. “They thought it was a dirty joke and not a real clinical need,” Zimmerman says.

Saying yes to feeling good

Entrepreneur Polly Rodriguez, 32, learned the hard way how lightly female desire is taken. When radiation treatment for stage III colon cancer sent the then 21-year-old into menopause, doctors told her she would never be able to have children but failed to mention that her sex drive and ability to enjoy sex could be affected.

It was only thanks to some online searching that she finally figured it out. (The places Rodriguez could find that sold vibrators in her rural corner of the Midwest felt far too seedy for her to ask intimate questions about climax.) To fill the void, Rodriguez launched Unbound in December 2014, an online marketplace providing a sex-positive space for women to share experiences and find products that meet their sexual needs, ranging from lube and vibrators to handcuffs. “Men have had Playboy and Viagra, and I want those kinds of brands to exist for women,” Rodriguez says.

Though her company’s growth has surpassed her wildest dreams, with more than 200,000 unique hits per month, Rodriguez built her brand without advertising on social media or public transit. Facebook’s policies allow only the advertisement of condoms as family planning aids or to prevent STIs; for vibrators, forget it. When Rodriguez pushed back against this prudish policy, a representative wrote her that advertising for adult products and services wasn’t allowed.

The explanation? “This is driven by an understanding of people’s sentiment for these ads,” the email read. (When reached for comment, a Facebook spokesperson responded with the following: “We have long had a policy that restricts certain ads with adult content and adult products in part because Facebook is a global company and we take into account the wide array of people from varying cultures and countries who see them…As with all of our policies, our enforcement is never perfect but we are always improving.”)

And New York City’s Metropolitan Transit Authority refused to post an ad for Unbound, calling it “phallic,” despite Rodriguez’s efforts to show fully clothed women of various races with nary a penis in sight. According to Rodriguez, the same day she was rejected, the MTA green-lit ads for a company selling male sexual enhancement products that portrayed a limp cactus and a perky cactus—far more phallic than Unbound’s ads. (The MTA did not respond when asked for a statement.)

Where do we ‘O’ from here?

Despite these roadblocks, the breakneck pace of Unbound’s expansion and the buzz around—and ultimate recognition of—products like the Osé show that another sexual revolution is underway.

Women are tired of putting their desires on the back burner and have begun to realize it’s okay to ask for not only what they need, but also what they want, says Zoldbrod. Yet more research is critically important—in the lab, but also in your own bedroom.

“Only you can figure out what rings your bell,” she says. In the meantime, let’s hope the rest of the medical world gets on board so we can close the gap once and for all.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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The orgasm gap…

Women climax a third less than their male partners, but why?

Women have a third fewer orgasms compared to their male partners.

By Francesca Specter

We often hear about gender inequalities in the workplace or in the domestic sphere, but less about one that happens between the sheets.

Yet, if you are a woman in a heterosexual relationship, it’s likely there’s an orgasm gap at play, with your male partner “coming first” in more ways than one.

In a large-scale study, 95% of heterosexual men in relationships said they usually or always climax during sex, compared to just 65% of women.

Interestingly, this is not the case for women in same sex relationships, with 86% of lesbian women claiming they regularly orgasm.

Based on these results, it would appear most women are at least capable of having regular orgasms – so why aren’t they having them?

Many women do not orgasm from intercourse alone

A lack of understanding around clitoral stimulation is partly responsible for the widespread “orgasm gap” in heterosexual relationships, according to Amanda Major, sex therapist and head of clinical practice at relationships charity Relate.

“As a society, we have a tendency to place too much emphasis on penetrative sex – a lot of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm and find it difficult to achieve through vaginal intercourse alone,” she explains.

A lack of foreplay

Not just a cliche, couples skipping foreplay before sex is a key reason for the orgasm gap. In fact, in a survey conducted by Illicitencounters.com, 74% of women said men’s biggest mistake in bed was forgoing foreplay for the so-called main event.

“Biologically speaking, women often take longer than men to become aroused, which is why foreplay is so important,” Major explains.

Pain during sex

For many women, intercourse might be associated with pain rather than a mind-blowing orgasm, with three quarters saying they have experienced pain or discomfort during sex, according to research from Durex.

Worryingly, only one in five would actively stop sex as a result. Instead, it looks like women are prioritising their partner (and their partner’s orgasm) over their own pleasure, with one in 10 saying they have faked an orgasm as a result, and a further 15% saying the experience made them rush their partner to climax.

Women aren’t asking for what they want

“Some women find it difficult to ask for what they want or place too much focus on their partner’s pleasure, explains Major.

She recommends women to get to know their body and what works for them through masturbation or sensual exploration, and then showing their partner what they like.

Sarah Berry, a sex and relationship therapist, agrees that orgasms are a two-way street.

“It isn’t just up to a partner to “give” someone an orgasm, is the partner up for working with partner to help them orgasm?, she says.

“Maybe the non orgasming person could show them how they like to be touched.”

The idea sex stops when a man orgasms

Sex doesn’t have to finish when the man “finishes”, says Berry – yet so many men and women alike believe this should be the case.

“Heterosexuals have been somehow conditioned to stop sexual activity when the male comes.

“It’s how we’re used to watching sex play out most of the depictions of sex we see – everything from blockbuster movies to porn.”

How to close the orgasm gap

So, now we know some of the reasons why women aren’t orgasming, but what can we do about it?

Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert at Lovehoney, provides her top tips.

  • Use sex toys: “Adding toys such as vibrating rings to play could greatly enhance her chances of orgasming as well as him.”
  • Kegel exercises: “Focus on clenching your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle by using a kegel exerciser – this is a great way to extend your orgasms. By undertaking kegel exercises every day you will create a more powerful sensation during arousal, a tighter vaginal canal and bigger, better, longer orgasms for all.”
  • More foreplay: “For many people, foreplay is real sex, so don’t cut it short. The pleasure is in the journey, after all.”
  • Keep it fresh: “Try hot wax play. Invest in a massage candle, use it to set the mood and when the wax has cooled pour it on your partner. The temperature change will awaken your nerve endings making them more responsive to your touch.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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5 Types of Orgasms and How to Get One (or More)

by Hannah Rimm

The ‘Big O(s)’

There’s a lot of talk about the “Big O,” but did you know there’s more than one kind of O to sing about? Orgasms in women may seem a little harder to spot since there’s no obvious spray to end the play. But they exist, and with a little awareness and attention, you can get the Os you deserve, from the fireworks-on-display kind to the calm oh-my-gods.

When you find yourself missing out on the Big O, there are three likely culprits: expectations, communication, and method. And alongside all of that, experimenting is required. You’ll find sites reporting that there are anywhere from 12 orgasms to just 1. But we’re focusing on the five an average person can achieve, for the definitive happy ending they deserve.

What are the types of orgasms?

Here’s a list of the most common types of orgasms and what they typically feel like, although this varies from person to person:

Now, how do we make these orgasms happen?

Let’s talk about the clitoris

The clitoris is a small organ with a lot of nerve endings that peeks out from the tiptop of the vulva, is often covered by a hood, and extends down the inside of the labia. The best way to stimulate the clitoris is by gently rubbing with the fingers, palm, or tongue in a back and forth or circular motion.

Tackling the elusive vaginal orgasm

Vaginal orgasm is often misconstrued as the “best” way for women to orgasm (read: the easiest for penises), but it’s often the most difficult for ladies. Instead of a penis, try fingers or a sex toy. Insert the fingers or toy into the vagina and make a “come hither” motion toward the belly button.

There’s a point of pleasure on this wall called the G-spot and when you hit it with regular, strong pressure, it can lead to orgasm. Stimulation of the G-spot is also the way to lead to female ejaculation, as it stimulates the Skene’s glands on either side of the urethra.

Exploring the anal orgasm

Anal orgasms are much more common in men because of the prostate, but can also be achieved simply by rubbing the outside of the anal opening as well as stimulating the inside of the anus with a finger. When it comes to anal sex, please, please, please use lube. Butts don’t naturally produce lubricant and the skin around the area is very prone to tears, which can lead to unwanted infection.

If you’re looking to return the favor with your male partner, stimulate the prostate by gently inserting a finger straight forward and massage the gland.

Going for the combo and erogenous zones

In order to achieve a combo orgasm, combine clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time, either in parallel or opposite rhythms — whatever feels best for you or your partner. This is also the most common way to achieve female ejaculation because the clitoris is stimulated and the G-spot or Skene’s glands are engaged.

Finally, erogenous zone orgasms are achieved exclusively through a lot of experimentation. You may be able to orgasm from kisses on your neck, teeth on your nipples, or fingers on the inside of your elbows. The best way to find your erogenous zones is to use a feather or another light external object and take note where you feel the most pleasure.

Orgasms won’t come without communication

In any kind of sexual play, communication is key. Not only is consent literally required by law, but telling your partner what you want, how, and where is the best way to ensure maximum pleasure. It’s ideal to have these conversations before engaging in sexual play, but it’s equally effective to guide your partner during sex. This means asking for what you want either with words or with your body language. Remember, partners aren’t mind readers, even though we want them to be.

This also means being open to experimentation. If your regular sex routine isn’t getting you off, then experimenting with touching new areas at different times with different body parts (genitals, fingers, mouths) is the next best step to solving your orgasm mystery.

It’s also important to note that experimenting and achieving orgasm doesn’t require a partner. Pleasure is not dependent and neither are you — the better you know your rhythm with fingers and toys, the faster you can teach your partner how you tango.

What actually happens during an orgasm?

What physically happens in a woman’s body during actual orgasm is this: the vagina, uterus, and anus (and sometimes other body parts like hands, feet, and abdomen) contract rapidly 3-15 times, squeezing for 0.8 seconds at a time. Women may also ejaculate, releasing a liquid out of the urethra that contains a mix of whitish fluid from the Skene’s peri-urethral glands and urine. Don’t worry — urine is very sterile and the liquid usually comes out clear.

But not everybody experiences sex and orgasm the same way. The above explanations are great starting points, but sex doesn’t have a manual. That’s why exploring in the moment and finding what your body loves is absolutely key.

Understanding the stages that lead to an orgasm may help you

Masters and Johnson wrote a book that detailed the sexual response cycle, which states that there are four stages of the sexual response:

  • Excitement. Initially being turned on.
  • Plateau. Repetitive motion that feels pleasurable.
  • Orgasm. The burst of pleasure, and release.
  • Resolution. The refractory period.

While this is mostly accurate, it’s too general — especially when these stages cross over and there’s no explosive resolution. It’s also inaccurate to suggest that sex ends in orgasm, because this denies many women of their orgasms by pushing the idea that sex is finished when their male partners finish. Plus, not all sex requires an orgasm and orgasms don’t mean the sex is great.

Orgasms can be small. They can happen many times in a row or just once, and they don’t always happen. Don’t define your orgasms by someone else’s description… that’s ultimately shorting yourself on pleasure. Your calm clitoral orgasm can still be mind-blowing, just as your combo orgasm can be fun, and your partner’s ejaculation can be exciting.

Bodies are different. Orgasms are different. But the path it takes to get there is all about experimenting, communicating, and trying again. Allow yourself to soak in the sensations of the pleasure process just as much, or even more than, the finale.

Repeat after us: Orgasms aren’t the end goal of sex.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Can We Please Stop Blaming Women For Not Being Able To Orgasm?

By Kasandra Brabaw

[M]edical experts, sexologists, and other sexperts had a lot to say when a Twitter user named La Sirena tweeted on Monday morning that all women should be able to have orgasms from penetrative sex alone. “When a woman can’t have an orgasm from pure penetration she’s usually suffering from some deep-seated mental [and] spiritual blockages regarding her sexuality [and] her worth. She probably doesn’t trust her sexual partner much either,” she tweeted.

In addition to her tweet simply being inaccurate (it’s well-known that a majority of people who have vaginas don’t orgasm from penetration alone), it also caused outrage because, La Sirena is putting the blame 100% on women. That’s a problem, says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist who specializes in teaching women how to orgasm, because many people who struggle to have orgasms already blame themselves. “A lot of women are beating themselves up,” she says. Her clients have told her things like: “I feel like I’m the only woman in the world who hasn’t figured this out.” “What’s wrong with me?” and “I feel like I’m broken,” Marin says.

These kinds of insecurities are common, especially since women’s sexuality is still so taboo. But Marin says that even though we’re talking about women’s pleasure more than ever, the way we’re talking about it isn’t helpful. Often, information about having orgasms if you have a vagina involves something simplistic like “relax and it’ll happen,” she says. So, that makes people who can’t just relax and let their orgasms flow feel as if there’s something wrong with them.

That’s the same kind of rhetoric we see in La Sirena’s tweet. She goes on to say that once a woman releases her trauma, she should be able to orgasm on demand. She suggests kegels and womb massages to release physical trauma, but stresses that mental blockages need to be cleared, too. While there is some truth to what La Sirena is saying — i.e. doing regular kegels can cause stronger orgasms from penetrative sex and feeling emotionally distant or untrusting of a partner can make it difficult to reach climax — the problem lays in how she’s saying it.

Many people on Twitter have called La Sirena out for spouting “misogynistic shit under the guise of female empowerment,” as Jennifer Gunter, MD, an ob/gyn and a pain medicine physician, tweeted. And her critics have a point. If Marin could rewrite the tweet, she’d say, “Hey look, there’s a lot that can get wrapped up in our orgasm and it’s important for us to try to explore what comes up for us [during sex] and prioritize learning about our bodies and our sexuality.” That way, there’s no judgement about people who can’t climax from penetration alone. Because, FYI, there are lots of other (just as amazing) ways to orgasm.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Women don’t need to ‘switch off’ to climax, orgasm study shows

Not switching off

By Helen Thomson

[T]he most detailed study yet of orgasm brain activity has discovered why climaxing makes women feel less pain and shown that ‘switching off’ isn’t necessary.

It’s not easy to study the brain during orgasm. “A brain scanner like fMRI is the least sexy place in the world,” says Nan Wise at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey. “It’s noisy, claustrophobic and cold.” There is also the problem of keeping your head still – movement of little more than the width of a pound coin can render data useless.

Despite these hurdles, Wise and her colleagues recruited 10 heterosexual women to lay in a fMRI scanner and stimulate themselves to orgasm. They then repeated the experiment but had their partners stimulate them.

Wise’s custom-fitted head stabiliser allowed the team to follow brain activity in 20 second intervals to see what happens just before, during, and after an orgasm.

Pain relief

Back in 1985, Wise’s colleagues Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk, both at Rutgers, discovered that, during self-stimulation and orgasm, women are less likely to notice painful squeezing of a finger, and can tolerate more of this pain. They found that women’s ability to withstand pain increased by 75 per cent during stimulation, while the level of squeezing at which women noticed the pain more than doubled.

Now Wise’s team has explained why. At the point of orgasm, the dorsal raphe nucleus area of the brain becomes more active. This region plays a role in controlling the release of the brain chemical serotonin, which can act as an analgesic, dampening the sensation of pain.

Her team also saw a burst of activity in the nucleus cuneiformis, which is a part of brainstem systems that are thought to help us control pain through thought alone.

“Together, this activity – at least in part – seems to account for the pain attenuating effect of the female orgasm,” says Wise.

Turn on, not off

Wise’s team also found evidence that overturns the assumption that the female brain “switches off” during orgasm.

In 2005, Gert Holstege at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands used a PET scanner to analyse brain activity in 13 women while they were resting, faking an orgasm and being stimulated by their partner to orgasm. While activity in sensory regions of the brain increased during orgasm, activity fell in large number of regions – including those involved in emotion – compared with their brain at rest.

Based on this finding, it was suggested that women have to be free from worries and distractions in order to climax. From an evolutionary point of view, the brain might switch off its emotional areas because the chance to produce offspring is more important than the immediate survival to the individual.

But the new study saw the opposite: brain activity in regions responsible for movement, senses, memory and emotions all gradually increased during the lead-up to orgasm, when activity then peaked and lowered again. “We found no evidence of deactivation of brain regions during orgasm,” says Wise.

The difference between the two studies may be because PET can only get a small snapshot of brain activity over a short period of time, unlike fMRI scanners.

Better understanding

It’s not yet clear why pain sensation decreases during orgasm, or if men experience the same phenomenon. It may be that, in order to feel pleasure in the brain, the neural circuits that process pain have to be dampened down.

Whipple suggests that the pain-dampening effects of the female orgasm could be related to child birth. Her research suggests that pain sensitivity is reduced when the baby’s head emerges through the birth canal. Vaginal stimulation may therefore reduce pain in order to help mothers cope with the final stages of birth, and promote initial bonding with the baby.

The ability to study what happens during stimulation and orgasm could be used to better understand and treat those who have mood disorders like anhedonia – the inability to experience pleasure, says Wise. “We know so little about pleasure in the brain, we are just now learning the basics.”

You might wonder what it’s like to participate in such experiments. Wise says people often think her participants must be exhibitionists, but it’s not the case, she says. “Some women do like that aspect, but most are doing it because it’s empowering to them. Some find it difficult to orgasm, others don’t. One of our participants in this experiment was a 74-year-old lady who had two fabulous orgasms in the machine. I said to her, ‘You go girl!’ ”

Complete Article HERE!

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Female Orgasms Are Not Puzzling Enigmas, Study Helpfully Concludes

By Tom Hale

[T]he female orgasm is apparently a subject of great mystery and bewilderment for many men and women alike. But after you break through the old myths, taboos, and prudishness, it’s not quite as complicated as the glossy gossip magazines and hearsay makes out.

A new study by sexual health experts at Indiana University looked into female orgasms and the sexual preferences of a “nationally representative” group of 1,055 women in the US from the ages of 18 to 94 to demystify the idea female orgasms are complicated and encourage people to communicate what works for them.

It turns out, the female orgasm is hardly a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. However, that’s not to say that women don’t have their own preferences. Just like music, food, art, and all the best things in life, we all like different things.

According to the study, just under 1 in 5 women said that sexual intercourse alone was sufficient for orgasm, over 36 percent reported clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse, and an additional 36 percent suggested clitoral stimulation was not needed during sex but it made the orgasm all the better. A considerable number of the women, almost 1 in 10, said they did not climax during intercourse at all.

Basically, the long and short of it was that different women enjoy different things: some can orgasm during sex, some can orgasm from stimulating the clitoris during sex, some women do not have orgasms easily (or have gone through periods of life where it was difficult to climax).

The study even investigating different ways women liked to be touched. Once again, while there were certainly different preferences, it isn’t the enigma it’s occasionally made out to be. The huge majority of women enjoyed a light to medium pressure of touch, while nearly 16 percent said all pressures felt good and 10 percent liked firm pressure. Around two-thirds of women enjoyed touching in a up-and-down movement, 50 percent like circular movements, and 30 percent indicated a preference for a side-to-side motion.

The study authors explain that the real importance of the study is “underscoring the value of partner communication to sexual pleasure and satisfaction.” The only real requirement to have fun in the bedroom is the ability to communicate, embrace, and not shy away from finding out what works for you.

The researchers add that they hope their study helps to break down some of these boundaries, making it easier for women and men alike to comfortably communicate about sex, suggesting developing a “more specific vocabulary for discussing and labeling their preferences could empower them to better explore and convey to partners what feels good to them.”

Complete Article HERE!

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These Are the Moves That Really Make Women Orgasm, According to Science

Back and forth? Up and down? Straight across or in a circle? No one type of touch guarantees an amazing climax for everyone, but the women in a recent study said yes! yes! yes! most often to these.

By Julia Naftulin

If you relied on Hollywood as your guide to sexual pleasure, you’d think that the typical woman only needed to rock the sheets for 8 seconds before finding herself on the brink of an earth-shattering orgasm.

But in the real world, this usually isn’t the way it goes. And the results of a recent study back up the fact that not only do most women need some level of hands-on touching to hit climax during intercourse, the type of touch—the rhythm, motion, and pressure—varies widely.

The study, published in July in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, surveyed over 1,000 women between ages 18 and 94. Participants were asked how much touching they needed to reach orgasm and what exact strokes produced the most pleasure, among other questions.

One major finding: 37% of women said they need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Another 36% said that having this body part touched isn’t necessary for reaching the big O—but it does make the experience that much better.

When it comes to specifics, two-thirds of the women in the study said they preferred up-and-down motions directly on their clitoris, while 52% enjoyed direct circular movements and a third liked direct side-to-side strokes. The majority of women reported preferring light to medium pressure on their vulva, with 11% preferring firm pressure there.

Among the two thirds of women who said they preferred indirect clitoral stimulation, 69% said they enjoyed touching “through the skin above the hood,” the study stated. Approximately 29% said they liked it “through both lips pushed together (like a sandwich).” Twenty percent favored indirect touch “through the skin on the right side of [the] clitoris,” and 19.2% chose “through the skin on the left side of [the] clitoris.”

“I hope this study challenges the idea that certain things work for everyone or everyone should have sex a certain way,” Debby Herbenick, PhD, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and a co-author of the study, tells Health. 

“Forever, data on orgasms during intercourse focused on college women or people in sex therapy,” says Herbenick. “But this study was nationally representative and speaks to women of all ages, educations, races, and ethnicities, since it matches the demographics of women in the United States.”

While there’s no formula for the perfect orgasm, the study shows that some types of touch are more popular than others. And while the researchers make no judgments, Herbenick has one suggestion for women hoping to experience more pleasurable orgasms: maintain an open dialogue with your partner about the type of touch you like.

Complete Article HERE!

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Researchers Reveal an Evolutionary Basis for the Female Orgasm

Though a common occurrence (hopefully), the female orgasm has been a biological mystery.

by Philip Perry

[F]ew things are as magical as the female orgasm, whether you are experiencing it, inducing it, or just a casual observer. It is essentially pure art in motion. Yet, there are many things we don’t know about the phenomenon, scientifically speaking, such as, why it exists. Scientists have been pondering this for centuries.

Apart from vestigial organs, there are few structures in the body we don’t know the function of. It seems that the clitoris is there merely for pleasure. But would evolution invest so much in such a fanciful aim? Over the years, dozens of theories have been posited and hotly debated.

One prevailing theory is the “byproduct hypothesis.” The penis gives pleasure in order to drive males toward intercourse and ensure the perpetuation of the species. The sex organs are one of the last things developed in utero. Due to this, and the fact that women develop their pleasure organ from the same physical structure the penis is formed from, the clitoris is therefore a “byproduct” of the penis. You could imagine how some women feel about this theory.

Another is the mate-choice hypothesis. Here, it is thought that since a woman take longer to “get there,” it would pay for her to find a mate invested in her pleasure. A considerate lover would make a good father, the theory posits. Yet, the female orgasm happens rarely during penetrative intercourse, undercutting this theory.

It’s been thought that the act plays a role in conception. Several studies have shown that the woman having an orgasm during intercourse increases the likelihood of impregnation. But how and why is not well understood. Now, a team of scientists suggest that the female climax once played a role in reproduction, by triggering ovulation.  

Mary Magdalen in Ecstasy. By: Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio. 1606.

Researchers at Yale University posed this theory, in a study published in the Journal of Experimental Zoology Part B Molecular and Developmental Evolution. Gunter Wagner was its co-author. He is a professor of ecology and evolutionary biology at the university. According to him, previous research has been looking in the wrong place. It focused on how human biology itself changed over time.

Instead, these Yale researchers began by analyzing a large swath of species and the mechanisms present in females associated with reproduction. Wagner and colleagues also looked at the genitalia of placental mammals. They focused on two hormones released during penetrative intercourse across species, prolactin and oxytocin.

Prolactin is responsible for the processes surrounding breast-milk and breast feeding, while oxytocin is the “calm and cuddle” hormone. It helps us to bond and feel closer to others. Placental mammals in the wild need these two hormones to trigger ovulation. Without them, the process cannot occur.

One major insight researchers found is that in other species, mammalian ovulation is induced by contact with males, whereas in humans and other primates, it is an automatic process operating outside of sexual activity, called spontaneous ovulation. From here, they looked at those female mammals who induce ovulation through sexual contact with males. In those species, the clitoris is located inside the vagina.

Evolutionary biologists believe that spontaneous ovulation first occurred, in the common ancestor of primates and rodents, around 75 million years ago.  From here, Wagner and colleagues deduced that the female orgasm must have been an important part of reproduction in early humans. Before spontaneous ovulation, the human clitoris may have been placed inside the vagina. Stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse would trigger the release of prolactin and oxytocin, which would in turn, induce ovulation. This process became obsolete once spontaneous ovulation made it onto the scene.

“It is important to stress that it didn’t look like the human female orgasm looks like now,” said Mihaela Pavličev, Wagner’s co-author of this study. “Homologous traits in different species are often difficult to identify, as they can change substantially in the course of evolution.” She added, “We think the hormonal surge characterizes a trait that we know as female orgasm in humans. This insight enabled us to trace the evolution of the trait across species.”

While the hypothesis is compelling, it has drawbacks. The biggest is that it’s difficult, if not impossible, at least currently, to investigate what, if any, sexual pleasure other female animals derive during copulation. Other experts say, more data is needed from other organisms to shore up this theory. Still, it seems the most persuasive argument to date.

To learn more about the biological basis of the female orgasm, click here:

 

Complete Article HERE!

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Everything about female orgasm and how to touch a woman

By Zoey Miller

[H]ow to Touch a Woman: Everything You Need to Know About the Female Orgasm

Are you wanting to become a better lover? Do you want to make a woman go wild? Is your ultimate goal to please a woman and drive her to the best orgasm she’s ever had?

If you want to learn to please a woman — and please her well over and over again — then you have to practice. With every encounter or relationship you have, you’ll build your skills and get better at knowing what to do. Every woman is different, and so you really won’t know what truly turns her on until you have the opportunity to interact.

The bottom line is that figuring out what makes her go wild is a journey and it will take time — but it can be a fun journey that is informed by research and practice. And if we’re talking about sexual encounters, then there’s nothing more fun than that.

If you’re ready to take your sexual encounters and your ability to please a woman to a new level, then read on to get our full guide that will lead you through everything you need to know — and everything you need to do to get better with every interaction. There are few things that are more of a turn on to a woman than to know her lover want to make her scream.

Let your woman know this, and she’ll feel a comfort level with you that will allow her to reach the place where she can let go and experience a real orgasm.

Are you ready to get started? Here’s everything you need to know about how to touch a woman right now:

Everything About the Female Orgasm

What is an orgasm?

The female orgasm — much like the male orgasm — at its very base is a physical, pleasurable reflex when the woman’s genitals relax during sex. During intercourse, the muscles in the body are tightened, and when the female orgasm occurs, they release and return to what is known as the pre-arousal stage.

Depending on a woman’s anatomy and unique being, she may be able to have multiple orgasms in a row. Following an orgasm, a woman is going to be sensitive because of the overpowering sensation of her muscle’s reflexes. That’s because the blood rushes to the vessels in her muscles to create that sensation.

What does the female orgasm feel like?

Every woman’s experience in feeling an orgasm will be different but some very common occurrences are a feeling of intense warmth or sweating, heavy or increased breathing, vibrations of various body parts and the urge to scream out in pleasure.

An orgasm will feel differently and will be unique to each woman, so that’s why it’s so important that a woman really know her body and be able to articulate what turns her on. If a woman says she has never experienced an orgasm, then that’s an opportunity for you to show her that she can.

This is addressed in more detail in the next section.

What if my female partner can’t have an orgasm?

If you’ve ever had a woman tell you she cannot have an orgasm, then it’s time to stop in your tracks and do a little pressing. What you may find is that some women may feel embarrassed or ashamed to let go and be turned on — or they may think they are taking too long to achieve an orgasm and believe that they are being a burden to you.

Still others may find it challenging to have an orgasm because anatomically, their clitoris is too far away from their vagina. Researchers have discovered that typically, if your clitoris is more than 2.5 centimeters away from your vagina, or roughly the tip of your thumb to your knuckle, that you may not be able to achieve an orgasm by penile penetration alone. That doesn’t mean they can’t achieve orgasm through intercourse. It just means you need to work a little harder and be little more creative to find what really turns on your partner.

A very low percentage of women — less than 10 percent — claim that they can achieve an orgasm by penile penetration alone. It’s more likely that your partner prefers and needs more than one method of stimulation. So from oral sex to masturbation to using a vibrator — there are many different ways you can get your female partner to reach climax. It’s just a matter of knowing her anatomy and what she prefers in bed.

Overall, however, it’s really important that you create a safe and welcoming environment for your woman to relax and really let go. In that trusted space, she will be able to open up to you and tell you what she wants — what she wants you to say, how she wants you to touch her and what her fantasies are. Those are critical clues that will help you achieve her orgasm together.

At first it takes a little work, but it’s all in love and fun — and once you get there, the two of you will have a renewed and special trust that will take you into the next bedroom encounter.

How to Touch a Woman

Create an Environment for Intimacy

You’ll want to start out the night by creating a safe, trusted and intimate environment that will make your woman feel comfortable and loved. Women like many different environments for sex, and again, no one woman is alike.

So you need to know your woman well. Does she respond to flowers, candles and romance? Does she want sex quick and dirty? Does she need a chance to unwind with a glass of wine or a hot bath? Whatever her triggers are for relaxation and comfort, you’ll want to deploy those for her.

What this does is let her know you are watching, listening and responding to what will make her feel most wanted and loved. So pay attention — or ask her — and that will go a long way in creating a better environment for being vulnerable when it comes time to making that climb toward the female orgasm.

Kissing is Key

If you want to give a woman an orgasm, kissing is going to be key. Lower yourself to her vagina and use your tongue to massage her clitoris with slow licks. Pay attention to her breathing as you are doing this, as you may want to speed up or slow down depending on how she is responding.

Some patterns think that if they do everything quickly, then that is a turn on. But that’s likely going to make her feel like she needs to perform and fake an orgasm because she knows it’s not going to come quickly.

Instead, ask her what is feeling good as you are doing it. Ask her if she wants more kissing, more tongue licking or flicking, or the speed to be faster or slower. If she feels comfortable with you, she will tell you what is feeling especially good.

Ask her to guide your head as you are giving her oral sex so that you know the exact position that feels the best.

A bonus move that works really well: Ask her to masturbate if she feels comfortable while you are kissing or licking her, as you can watch her do this and pay attention to where her fingers are going. She is going to know her body the best, and you can know the exact location of where your tongue or fingers should be next.

Start Out Slowly When Penetrating

Another urban myth about penetrating a woman with your fingers, also called “fingering.” You can’t do it quickly at first. If you’ll remember from the first section, a woman’s muscles are usually tight during sex. When she orgasm’s they contract.

Leading up to the Big O, her muscles will begin to relax and it will be easier to penetrate her and arouse her as you lead her to an orgasm. But at the beginning, start out slowly.

Use your mouth to apply a good amount of saliva to her vagina so that your fingers can slip in fairly easily. Start with one finger and move it very slowly back and forth. If you find that there is more room and that she is getting more aroused with one finger, try to insert two fingers.

Move those two fingers back and forth very slowly, while asking your partner if she is enjoying it along the way. If she is showing signs of discomfort or pain, stop. Communication is really key as you are participating in fingering because your woman will give you clues that she is ready for penetration with your penis.

If she prefers fingering over your penis, then continue in the method of moving your fingers in and out slowly. When she is just out of breath and close to having an orgasm pull out your fingers and begin using your tongue to rapidly flick her clitoris. Continue massaging the area around the clitoris as you are flicking it until she reaches orgasm and screams or sighs in delight.

You may not get verbal affirmation as not every woman is not a screamer. But, ask her if she is reaching orgasm and pay attention to her body. Usually a woman will become very sensitive and she won’t be able to handle you touching her in her vaginal region any longer. She’ll need some time to reset. Some women can have an other orgasm a few minutes later. Keep that communication open so you know what to expect and exactly what you need to do to get her to that place of absolute pleasure.

Should I Be Ashamed of Using a Vibrator?

We get this question a lot — and the answer is you absolutely should be willing to use a vibrator. It says nothing about you that your female partner is not achieving orgasm with your penis alone. It’s actually quite common that this happens because sex takes a lot of practice to get both partners to achieve that pleasurable moment.

So if this is the challenge that you are experiencing — or even if you’re not — try a vibrator! They are fun and safe to use. They come in a wide variety of sizes and textures so that you can experience different sensations. This is especially a great way for a woman who hasn’t been extremely communicative about what she likes sexually to experiment with and decide what she truly loves — and wants you to try to replicate!

Remember to Engage Your Brain

The ability to reach an orgasm is more than half of your brain. You have to exert mental energy to reach that level of being able to let go. If you’ve been able to do it, then it’s good to encourage your partner that it can happen for her as well.

Before you engage in any kind of sexual activity, sit down with your partner and talk to her about expectations and what she should expect out of you. Let her know that you are there for her — to pleasure her and to make her feel good. That’s going to put her at immediate ease and let her know that you are there for her. You’re not there to get the first orgasm. You want her to be happy first.

That’s a great first step along the way to working together to achieve the female orgasm — and your partner will thank you again and again for all of your effort along the way in your bedroom journey.

In conclusion, with this guide, you can get to the skill level you want and learn to please a woman in a way that will make her happy and confident in you. Remember that it does take practice — but don’t let that discourage you.

Learning to give a woman an orgasm is an enjoyable experience and you’ll feel more confident knowing that you have pleased her and that she is impressed with you and your abilities. That should empower you and make you feel good in the process of learning to be a better lover.

If you’re ready to experience that confidence, happiness, health and true skill — then continue implementing our guide in your practice sessions. Every moment you are with the woman you care about is an opportunity to learn what she likes, to better understand her body and to build trust with her so that she truly can let go and experience a real orgasm.

So many women end of faking orgasms because they don’t feel they can be honest with their partners. But if you take the initiative to truly understand what turns them on and to study their body’s response — in time, you’ll know exactly how to touch the woman you love to get her to that moment of pure ecstasy.

Complete Article HERE!

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How do women really know if they are having an orgasm?

Dr Nicole Prause is challenging bias against sexual research to unravel apparent discrepancies between physical signs and what women said they experienced

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It’s not always clear if a woman is really having an orgasm, as Meg Ryan demonstrated in When Harry Met Sally.
It’s not always clear if a woman is really having an orgasm, as Meg Ryan demonstrated in When Harry Met Sally.

In the nascent field of orgasm research, much of the data relies on subjects self-reporting, and in men, there’s some pretty clear physiological feedback in the form of ejaculation.

But how do women know for sure if they are climaxing? What if the sensation they have associated with climax is actually one of the the early foothills of arousal? And how does a woman know when if she has had an orgasm?

Neuroscientist Dr Nicole Prause set out to answer these questions by studying orgasms in her private laboratory. Through better understanding of what happens in the body and the brain during arousal and orgasm, she hopes to develop devices that can increase sex drive without the need for drugs.

Understanding orgasm begins with a butt plug. Prause uses the pressure-sensitive anal gauge to detect the contractions typically associated with orgasm in both men and women. Combined with EEG, which measures brain activity, this allows for a more accurate picture of a woman’s arousal and orgasm.

Dr Nicole Prause has founded Liberos to study brain stimulation and desire.
Dr Nicole Prause has founded Liberos to study brain stimulation and desire.

When Prause began studying women in this way she noticed something surprising. “Many of the women who reported having an orgasm were not having any of the physical signs – the contractions – of an orgasm.”

It’s not clear why that is, but it is clear that we don’t know an awful lot about orgasms and sexuality. “We don’t think they are faking,” she said. “My sense is that some women don’t know what an orgasm is. There are lots of pleasure peaks that happen during intercourse. If you haven’t had contractions you may not know there’s something different.”

Prause, an ultramarathon runner and keen motorcyclist in her free time, started her career at the Kinsey Institute in Indiana, where she was awarded a doctorate in 2007. Studying the sexual effects of a menopause drug, she first became aware of the prejudice against the scientific study of sexuality in the US.

When her high-profile research examining porn “addiction” found the condition didn’t fit the same neurological patterns as nicotine, cocaine or gambling, it was an unpopular conclusion among people who believe they do have a porn addiction.

The evolution of design of the anal pressure gauge used in Nicole Prause’s lab to detect orgasmic contractions.
The evolution of design of the anal pressure gauge used in Nicole Prause’s lab to detect orgasmic contractions.

“People started posting stories online that I had falsified my data and I received all kinds of sexist attacks,” she said. Soon anonymous emails of complaint were turning up at the office of the president of UCLA, where she worked from 2012 to 2014, demanding that Prause be fired.

Does orgasm benefit mental health?

Prause pushed on with her research, but repeatedly came up against challenges when seeking approval for studies involving orgasms. “I tried to do a study of orgasms while at UCLA to pilot a depression intervention. UCLA rejected it after a seven-month review,” she said. The ethics board told her that to proceed, she would need to remove the orgasm component – rendering the study pointless.

Undeterred, Prause left to set up her sexual biotech company Liberos, in Hollywood, Los Angeles, in 2015. The company has been working on a number of studies, including one exploring the benefits and effectiveness of “orgasmic meditation”, working with specialist company OneTaste.

Part of the “slow sex” movement, the practice involves a woman having her clitoris stimulated by a partner – often a stranger – for 15 minutes. “This orgasm state is different,” claims OneTaste’s website. “It is goalless, intuitive, and dynamic. It flows all over the place with no set direction. It may include climax, or it may not. In Orgasm 2.0, we learn to listen to what our body wants instead of what we think we ‘should’ want.”

Prause wants to determine whether arousal has any wider benefits for mental health. “The folks that practice this claim it helps with stress and improves your ability to deal with emotional situations even though as a scientist it seems pretty explicitly sexual to me,” she said.

Prause is examining orgasmic meditators in the laboratory, measuring finger movements of the partner, as well as brainwave activity, galvanic skin response and vaginal contractions of the recipient. Before and after measuring bodily changes, researchers run through questions to determine physical and mental states. Prause wants to determine whether achieving a level of arousal requires effort or a release in control. She then wants to observe how Orgasmic Meditation affects performance in cognitive tasks, how it changes reactivity to emotional images and how it compares with regular meditation.

Brain stimulation is ‘theoretically possible’

Another research project is focused on brain stimulation, which Prause believes could provide an alternative to drugs such as Addyi, the “female Viagra”. The drug had to be taken every day, couldn’t be mixed with alcohol and its side-effects can include sudden drops in blood pressure, fainting and sleepiness. “Many women would rather have a glass of wine than take a drug that’s not very effective every day,” said Prause.

The field of brain stimulation is in its infancy, though preliminary studies have shown that transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS), which uses direct electrical currents to stimulate specific parts of the brain, can help with depression, anxiety and chronic pain but can also cause burns on the skin. Transcranial magnetic stimulation, which uses a magnet to activate the brain, has been used to treat depression, psychosis and anxiety, but can also cause seizures, mania and hearing loss.

Prause is studying whether these technologies can treat sexual desire problems. In one study, men and women receive two types of magnetic stimulation to the reward center of their brains. After each session, participants are asked to complete tasks to see how their responsiveness to monetary and sexual rewards (porn) has changed.

With DCS, Prause wants to stimulate people’s brains using direct currents and then fire up tiny cellphone vibrators that have been glued to the participants’ genitals. This provides sexual stimulation in a way that eliminates the subjectivity of preferences people have for pornography.

“We already have a basic functioning model,” said Prause. “The barrier is getting a device that a human can reliably apply themselves without harming their own skin.”


 
There is plenty of skepticism around the science of brain stimulation, a technology which has already spawned several devices including the headset Thync, which promises users an energy boost, and Foc.us, which claims to help with endurance.

Neurologist Steven Novella from the Yale School of Medicine uses brain stimulation devices in clinical trials to treat migraines, but he says there’s not enough clinical evidence to support these emerging consumer devices. “There’s potential for physical harm if you don’t know what you’re doing,” he said. “From a theoretical point of view these things are possible, but in terms of clinical claims they are way ahead of the curve here. It’s simultaneously really exciting science but also premature pseudoscience.”

Biomedical engineer Marom Bikson, who uses tDCS to treat depression at the City College of New York, agrees. “There’s a lot of snake oil.”

Sexual problems can be emotional and societal

Prause, also a licensed psychologist, is keen to avoid overselling brain stimulation. “The risk is that it will seem like an easy, quick fix,” she said. For some, it will be, but for others it will be a way to test whether brain stimulation can work – which Prause sees as a more balanced approach than using medication. “To me, it is much better to help provide it for people likely to benefit from it than to try to create fake problems to sell it to everyone.”

Sexual problems can be triggered by societal pressures that no device can fix. “There’s discomfort and anxiety and awkwardness and shame and lack of knowledge,” said psychologist Leonore Tiefer, who specializes in sexuality. Brain stimulation is just one of many physical interventions companies are trying to develop to make money, she says. “There’s a million drugs under development. Not just oral drugs but patches and creams and nasal sprays, but it’s not a medical problem,” she said.

Thinking about low sex drive as a medical condition requires defining what’s normal and what’s unhealthy. “Sex does not lend itself to that kind of line drawing. There is just too much variability both culturally and in terms of age, personality and individual differences. What’s normal for me is not normal for you, your mother or your grandmother.”

And Prause says that no device is going to solve a “Bob problem” – when a woman in a heterosexual couple isn’t getting aroused because her partner’s technique isn’t any good. “No pills or brain stimulation are going to fix that,” she said.

Complete Article HERE!

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Why Can’t I Orgasm During Sex? Chronic Pain And 5 Other Factors That Affect Ability To Climax

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Imagine this: You and your partner are getting hot and heavy in between the sheets. You’re feeling sexually aroused — but you’re unable to climax. In frustration you ask yourself: “Why can’t I orgasm during sex?”

The Kinsey Institute indicates 20 to 30 percent of women don’t have orgasms during intercourse, compared to only 5 percent of men who don’t climax every time they have sex. Men and women who are unable to sustain an erection or reach orgasm, respectively, are usually labeled as having some type of sexual dysfunction. However, the inability to orgasm could be triggered by several issues that range from physiological to psychological.

Below are six causes of why you have trouble orgasming during sex.

Tight Condoms

Condoms are often seen as an “evil” necessity that reduces sensitivity and sensations for men. The truth is condoms can inhibit male orgasm if they do not fit properly. A condom that is too tight can feel like the penis is in a chokehold, which can be distraction, and make it difficult to keep an erection. A 2015 study in journal Sexual Health found about 52 percent of men report losing an erection before, or while putting a condom on or after inserting into the vagina while wearing a condom.

Stress

High levels of stress impact your psychological and physiological health, which can interfere with the ability to orgasm. This makes it harder to concentrate on the sensation and relax during sex. Women with high salivary cortisol and stress levels have significantly less desire to masturbate or have sex with their partner.

Stress causes us to produce fewer sex hormones, like estrogen and testosterone, and more cortisol and stress hormones. When the body releases cortisol, a fight-or-flight response kicks in, and redirects the blood flow away from the sex organs, causing you to breathe shallowly.

couple-holding-hands

Depression

Depression affects your mood, and even the desire to have sex. A 2000 study in the American Family Physician found 70 percent of adults facing depression without treatment had problems with their sex drive. This is because sexual desire starts in the brain as sex organs rely on chemicals in the brain to jumpstart your libido, and change blood flow. Depression disrupts these brain chemicals, making sexual activity more difficult to initiate and enjoy.

Chronic Pain

More than 75 million people live  with persistent or debilitating pain, according to the national pain foundation, which can often lead to a low sex drive. Chronic pain sufferers find it difficult to feel pleasure during sex since the body hurts all the time. This is unfortunate since having an orgasm can alleviate some pains and aches.

Prescription Meds

Drugs tend to be among the most common causes of sexual problems. Prescription meds are responsible for as many as one of every four cases of sexual dysfunction. A 2002 study published in Family Practice found statins and fibrates (used in lowering LDL “bad” cholesterol) may cause erectile dysfunction, while later research has found both men and women taking statins showed increased difficulty achieving orgasm. The levels of sexual pleasure declined along with LDL cholesterol.

Negative Body Image

When you feel good about your body, you tend to feel better psychologically as well. The mind-body connection is imperative in sexual pleasure. For example, if you feel bad about your body, it;ll become more difficult to enjoy sex and have orgasms. A 2009 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found women between the ages 18 to 49 who scored high on a body image scale were the most sexually satisfied. Positive feelings associated with weight, physical condition, sexual attractiveness, and thoughts about our body during sex help promote healthy sexual functioning.

Complete Article HERE!

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BINGO!

Name: Wondering
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: US
Hello, I just discovered your loverly website just now and thought I would ask you a question that has been on my mind for a while. I seem to have a problem orgasming without stimulating my clitoris. I suppose that doesn’t really sound like a problem but it’s really starting to annoy me. I would like to be able to still enjoy an orgasm without having to stimulate my clit every time! I love having sex and it feels super duper good but why can’t I climax that way? I mean I am aware of where my G-spot is and my boyfriend said he’ll be focusing more on hitting it “spot” on. There’s also another thing I have noticed, sometimes my boyfriend will hit my cervix and it hurts a bit, but is this even normal? Should he even be able to hit it? Or is there something abnormal going on here?

Let’s see, when you say you “love having sex and it feels super duper good but why can’t I climax that way?” Are you referring to full-on cock in cooter fucking when you say, “having sex”? The reason I ask is that not everyone means the same thing when they use that trite euphemism.

Since you’re not here to fill in the blanks, so to speak. I’ll assume you want to know why you can’t or haven’t yet had a vaginal orgasm. Before I answer, I just want to say that I hope you are not setting up an orgasmic dichotomy where there doesn’t need to be one. That would truly be unwise.

Ok, now my answer. I can’t really say why your not climaxing while you’re fucking. Other than an exclusively vaginal centered orgasm is a myth. The vast majority of women don’t have vaginal orgasms. In fact the degree of insensitivity inside a woman’s vagina is so high that Kinsey wrote in his seminal work, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female published back in 1953: “Among the women who were tested in our gynecologic sample, less than 14% were at all conscious that they had been touched.” That’s pretty remarkable, wouldn’t you say?

The vaginal orgasm myth is perpetuated, in part, by many a woman’s confusion and/or lack of knowledge about their own anatomy. Some women believe that an orgasm felt during fucking is centered in their cooch. This suggests to me that they aren’t being precise in locating the center of that orgasm. Other women believe in the vaginal orgasm myth because they think they need to conform to a male oriented notion of female sexuality — insertion…fucking = cuming. And that’s wrong, don’t cha know. Just ask all the preorgasmic women out there.

But ya know what? I don’t own a pussy my own self. All I can tell you is what I have learned from those people who actually have a honeypot. The people I’m referring to, we’ll call them females, tell me vaginal orgasms, mythological or not, may simply be dependent on a tone of a woman’s pelvic musculature. As amazing as pussies are, and they are amazing, if the muscles that surround them are not taught and toned enough, a fucking generated orgasm may elude the owner of said pussy.

Some women haven’t developed their PC muscle enough to cum through fucking alone. Are you doing your kegels, Wondering? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I suggest that you have some serious remedial research to do. You could start by reading around my site and listen to podcasts that feature information on our pubococcygeus muscle and kegel exercises. Check out the CATEGORIES pull down menu in the sidebar to your right. Scroll down till you see the main category — Sex Therapy.  Under that you will discover the subcategory — Kegels and PC muscle.

The elusive vaginal orgasm may also have to do with your partner’s cock, particularly the girth of his unit and opposed to its length. My women friends tell me that a thicker cock may have more of a chance triggering a vaginal orgasm then a pencil dick. No surprise there, I suppose. Position will also play a role. Why not give a bunch of different positions a try and see if they make a difference? You on top cowgirl style, or doggie style might work best. But it’s your coozie, my dear, and you ought to know it best.

As to your G-spot question. That’s another thing all together. I am so glad that you are familiar with your anatomy enough to have found your own personal G-spot. And it’s great to hear that you have an accommodating partner who is working on stimulating this sensitive area. Good for you both! However, while I wholeheartedly endorse and encourage your further investigations and sex play, I do have one caution. I share the concern of my women friends. We want you to avoid all the G-spot hype floating around in the popular culture these days. Most women have a good time with their G-spot exploration. They report that it is not particularly difficult to find, but it’s also much harder to pleasure. If a woman, you perhaps, gets it in your head that something amazing is supposed to happen with a G-spot stimulation, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. In the same way some women, you perhaps, set themselves up for disappointment if they buy into the myth of an exclusively vaginal generated orgasm.

I encourage you to see your genitals as a whole, not a bunch of separate parts that somehow work independently of one another. If your pussy is happy and your pussy is making you happy, is it really all that important how the happiness comes to be?

In comparison us men folk are not all that fussy. What gets us off; gets us off. I never hear from a guy who is disappointed because he’s having an exclusively prostate generated orgasm. They do happen to some men, but most of us aren’t the least bit concerned when they don’t happen to us. I also never hear from a guy who thinks he should be orgasmic through manipulation of his balls alone. That can happen too, but we’re not holding our breath for that.

What I do hear from guys is that we often need a particular kind of dick-oriented stimulation to get us off. And this is where the men folk and the women folk are much alike. You, like us, probably need a particular kind of stimulation to get you off. Be it vaginal, clitoral, G-spot, or whatever. If you acknowledge your genitals as a composite of parts that work together to bring you joy, then you’ll be less likely to be swayed by the claims, hype and misinformation about female sexual response.

Finally, regarding the issue of your boyfriend hitting your cervix. Yeah, that’ll hurt, don’t ‘cha know. I’d be willing to guess that he’s in the wrong position and being too athletic in his pumping when that happens. If he’s bumping your cervix, but you like the depth and athleticism of his manly thrusts, simply change position. That should remedy the problem.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!