Sex Advice With An Edge
Sex Fans,
This website was hacked and destroyed early in the first week of May, 2026. I am now in the process of restoring it. You’ll need to be very patient, because the hack wiped out 20+ years of content and restoring that will take lots of time.
Anyhow, know that I’m on it. Check back regularly and watch Dr Dick Sex Advice come back to life.
— Dr Dick
By Sera Bozza
We’ve all heard the saying, ‘opposites attract’, but that’s becoming less and less true when it comes to love and politics. Here’s how to navigate a conversation with a date who sits on the opposite side of the political spectrum.
In Season two of Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw couldn’t help but wonder: “Can there be sex without politics?” In 2024, that question feels almost laughably rhetorical.
The short answer? No.
In today’s dating world, especially in the countdown to the next U.S. presidential election, politics are more entangled with sex, love, and relationships than ever. According to research in the US, political alignment is now a non-negotiable for many singles.
Results from the 2024 survey show 28 per cent of Gen Z and millennials have ended relationships due to differing political beliefs. Even more eye-opening? Nearly half of people on both sides of the political spectrum are reluctant to date across party lines. Political beliefs are no longer just opinions; they’re core values. And when values clash, it’s not something you can just “agree to disagree” about.
Dating apps are adapting to this shift, too. Tinder US partnered with Vote.org, enabling voter registration resources in-app and “I Voted” stickers for users to slap on their profiles. But more than getting people to the polls, these features serve a bigger purpose: offering a shortcut to signal, “Here’s where I stand,” without having to grill someone on their political leanings before the first date is up (if you even make it on the date..)
Based on the same US research, heterosexual women often avoid asking men directly about their politics, afraid of getting vague or non-committal answers. Instead, they drop “proximity questions” about current events or pop culture to gauge where someone stands. It’s a strategic move but points to a more significant issue: people are protecting themselves from potential dealbreakers by skirting around it.
But is sidestepping really a solution? Not if you’re after a real connection.
When it comes to politics, it’s easy to reduce someone to their stance on one hot-button issue and dismiss them. We’ve all been there: rolling our eyes at that cousin’s rant or cringing at a date’s “crazy” take in the girl’s group chat. But if your goal is a meaningful relationship, contempt will get you nowhere.
The first step is checking your own biases. Ask yourself: are you seeing the person before you or just the political caricature you expect? Relationships are more nuanced than a few talking points.
So before you write someone off, ask genuine questions – not the “gotcha” kind, but those fueled by curiosity. A simple “Where are you coming from with that?” can invite a deeper conversation.
You don’t have to agree, but you do need to listen.
Navigating politics in dating doesn’t mean abandoning your values, but it does mean lowering the temperature. Politics shouldn’t feel like a battlefield, it should be an opportunity to understand someone’s life experiences.
Here’s a quick reality check: Are you spending your days doom-scrolling through a political echo chamber? Liking or sharing hate posts that slam the other side without offering any real insight? When social media becomes your rage room, it inevitably seeps into your dating life.
So, take a breath. Set time limits on how much news you consume, curate your feed, and remember: your date isn’t your debate partner. By stepping out of your bubble, you can clear up some mental space to get to know the person in front of you without letting politics hijack the connection before it starts.
When it’s time to talk politics (and it will come up), here are a few ways to keep things productive:
The person across from you is more than their political stance. Reducing them to one label narrows the conversation and limits your ability to see the bigger picture.
Instead of, “How can you even believe that?” try, “What led you to that perspective?” It’s not about proving them wrong but understanding the origin point.
You don’t have to nod to everything they say, but acknowledging their perspective with “I hear you” helps make the conversation less combative.
Ask if they feel truly heard before ending the conversation. It hopefully trains them to reciprocate when it’s your turn to share.
In 2024, politics is on our apps, at our dinner tables, and, sometimes, in our bedrooms. We’re not going to agree on everything but we should approach these conversations with curiosity and respect. It’s the only chance we have at building connections that can weather our increasingly divided world.
So, can there be sex without politics? Probably not. But with the right approach, you can have sex despite politics.
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!
This week, Natasha Trethewey, poet and memoirist, visited Trinity University to read and discuss her work. Her pieces encompass many topics, but she focuses on two things in particular: her experience growing up in Mississippi during the Jim Crow era and the death of her mother. The latter topic got to me: Her mother died at the hands of her boyfriend after a relationship of abuse. It’s not the first time I had heard somebody discuss intimate partner violence (IPV), but it was the first time I had seen it through poetry — through the lens of a mother-daughter relationship. These are things I tend to ruminate on. I considered how universities include IPV in conversations about love and sex.
It’s not talked about nearly enough. We spend so much time discussing sexual assault on campus, and we should continue raising awareness surrounding that. It’s an incredibly prevalent issue, but it’s only one part of the bigger picture. According to the Office on Violence Against Women sexual assault is “any nonconsensual sexual act proscribed by Federal, tribal, or State law, including when the victim lacks capacity to consent.” IPV, however, is defined by the World Health Organization as “behaviour within an intimate relationship that causes physical, sexual or psychological harm, including acts of physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviours.”
Though sexual assault and misconduct can occur in any environment, IPV is specific to romantic and sexual relationships. This doesn’t mean it affects fewer people. The American Association of Universities reported that 13% of American undergraduate students experienced “nonconsensual sexual contact by physical force or inability to consent” while in college in 2020. According to Knowledge Networks, 43% of college-aged women and 28% of college-aged men reported experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors in 2011.
Clearly, IPV is a prevalent issue across all universities in America. I’m not saying that sexual assault, misconduct and rape should not be addressed on college campuses. They absolutely should be, but IPV on college campuses should be talked about just as much. We have to consider ourselves — the Trinity community — in regard to it. We aren’t an exception to the problem.
Cayley Mandadi, a sophomore Trinity student, died on Oct. 31, 2017, after her boyfriend physically assaulted her. Mandadi was a cheerleader and a member of Chi Beta Epsilon at Trinity, and the Trinity community “was packed” in Parker Chapel for her memorial service on Nov. 5, 2017. She was loved.
In September, her boyfriend had destroyed her dorm room, including breaking her laptop and throwing her clothes into trees, and Mandadi’s mother asserts that Trinity failed to respond to reports of stalking, abuse, intimidation and domestic violence. Mandadi was even held responsible for the damage to her dorm, as students are usually responsible for any damage their off-campus guest causes. I’m not placing the blame on anyone but the boyfriend. It’s hard to identify and help someone experiencing IPV, and it’s even harder to help someone when the rules don’t consider IPV. That’s why we need to start talking about it.
There are flyers all over campus about preventing sexual assault. They’re on cork boards and in bathroom stalls. We all have to take the course on Title IX regulations and helping to prevent Title IX-related situations once we begin classes. As a person in a Greek life organization, you have to attend additional training on alcohol and sexual safety at Greek events. There is so much more to be done, but we’re talking about it.
The same must be applied to IPV on college campuses. There are resources for people in violent or abusive relationships, and if you need them — for you or anyone else — use them. However, outside of offering counseling, there aren’t enough at Trinity. We must be quickly and reliably able to identify and acknowledge the signs of IPV, and to do this, we need to talk about it. We have to start having conversations about it — start providing resources on campus to IPV survivors the same way we intend to provide them to sexual assault survivors.
In the long-run, hopefully that will look like flyers pertaining to sexual assault as well as IPV and training that encompasses what a healthy relationship should look like and what the warning signs of IPV are — for both the person within and outside of the relationship. For now, though, talk about it, participate in Purple Week from Oct. 21 to 25, voice your support for implementing more resources.
Advocate for it. Talk about the subject with your friends, your professors, your family. See how you can incorporate that support in clubs you’re in. If you’re suspicious of IPV happening in a relationship you know, bring it up. If you’re experiencing any abuse or violence in your relationship, tell someone. I know it’s hard. It takes bravery, but I know Trinity. Bravery could save someone’s life.
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!
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A small number of Canadian doctors specializing in women’s sexual health are trying to address what they say is a near-total lack of support for those suffering from common problems such as low libido, difficulty achieving orgasm and pain during intercourse.
“In terms of the juxtaposition with men’s sexual functioning, we are behind and it’s really frustrating,” said Dr. Stephanie Finn of Oakville, Ont.
Finn is one of five Canadian doctors trained by the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), based in Burnsville, Minn.
While help for male sexual dysfunction has been widely available since erectile dysfunction drug Viagra burst onto the scene — approved for use in Canada in 1999 — women’s sexual health has remained largely shrouded in secrecy.
“When’s the last time your doctor has asked you about your clitoris? Like never, and that’s fascinating, right? We ask men all the time about their penises and their function, sexual functioning and such,” she told White Coat, Black Art.
I think that there is generally a lack everywhere of interest in women’s sexual functioning, and I’m happy to say that I think that’s beginning to change.”
Originally a family doctor, Finn found that so many of her female patients needed help with sexual issues that she decided to focus on sexual medicine, opening her clinic about a year ago.
Part of that work is simply teaching women about their bodies, she says.
“It is really common for women to have almost no understanding of their own anatomy,” Finn said.
“I’ve had women who really haven’t a good idea about where their clitoris is. I’ve had people say, ‘Oh, I’ve always wondered,’ and sometimes I’m slightly surprised by that response in women who are in their 50s.”
Finn offers her patients the option of holding a mirror while she gives them a guided tour of their genitalia. Or she’ll use a 3D model to show patients things such as how the clitoris is actually a wishbone-shaped organ, with only the clitoral bulb visible externally.
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2023 found that the bulb has around 10,000 nerve endings. That’s compared to about 7,800 at the tip of the penis, according to a paper published in the same journal in February.
Some of that knowledge gap and reluctance among women to seek help for sexual-health issues is tied to cultural shame, says Dr. Stephanie Hart from Okotoks, Alta., another ISSWSH-trained family doctor.
In North America, vaginas are dirty. Like, I actually had somebody say that to me yesterday,” said Hart, who opened her specialized clinic in 2019.
For some women, that’s simply because they are grossed out by bodily fluids, including those that come out of the vagina, she says.
But for others, it’s a morality issue: “You know, ‘sex is shameful.’ That’s a very common attitude that I see people [have]. And kind of unsurprising that people would then have sexual dysfunction when they feel that way about it.”
Despite people’s difficulty talking about their sex lives, these clinics are busy. Hart says she sees 250 new patients every year in her practice, 75 to 80 per cent of them being women, but is referred around 400.
“So every six months, I’m another three months behind.”
Finn said she sees about 15 new patients every week at her Oakville clinic.
Most Canadian women do not have access to a doctor who specializes in sexual health. Existing clinics where women have traditionally sought care for sexual health are focused on contraception and infection, says Hart.
These kinds of clinics refer patients to her when they bring up difficulties like pain during sex or low libido, Hart says, as do specialists such as gynecologists.
Carolina Jara, 57, says she used to be a very sexual person, but since menopause, her libido has tanked.
“My libido went somewhere. I don’t know, maybe back home,” joked Jara, who is originally from Peru but lives in Vancouver.
She says she’s worried about how that can impact her relationship with her husband of eight years. And that part is not a laughing matter.
“He still wants it, but I don’t get ignited, I don’t get an orgasm for many years. So it feels more like a duty, more than something that I enjoy.”
There are two medications approved for use in Canada that can be used to increase sexual desire in women: a pill called flibanserin, and a self-injectable called bremelanotide.
Unlike Viagra, which is used on an as-needed basis and acts by increasing blood flow to the penis, both of these drugs impact the brain chemicals that influence mood and sexual appetite. Flibanserin must be taken daily and has been shown to have serious potential side effects.
Critics have argued that libido problems are more a matter of mismatch between the sexual appetites of partners that would be better addressed with relationship counselling.
A non-medical tool for addressing low libido or difficulty achieving orgasm is a class of sex toys sometimes referred to as clitoral suction devices.
“We have wonderful studies actually now showing improved clitoral blood flow and pelvic floor blood flow using these devices,” Finn said. “We know they can make a huge difference for women when they are attempting to achieve orgasm.”
But sexual-health issues are by no means the exclusive domain of older women, says Finn, whose patients range in age from teenagers to octogenarians.
Talia Steele, 34, suffered for years from pain during sex, stemming from a series of problems that started with a common urinary tract infection.
Eventually she got surgery to address the issues. But all the poking and prodding, and her history of painful sex, has had lasting effects.
“There’s always that bit of anxiety, never being able to be fully in the moment, always in your head about what’s going on,” said Steele, who is married and also lives in Vancouver.
“Even though I don’t have that pain, those feelings and thoughts still enter my brain at times, and it can be challenging to try new things or come out of my comfort zone.”
One of the challenges with getting care for women’s sexual-health issues is that there’s no established medical specialty for them.
“You take these women with pain [during] sex, for example, and you send them to the gynecologist who would say, ‘Well, it’s not endometriosis,’” Hart said. That might be the end of the road if the doctor doesn’t know about other options that might help.
Hart says she’s on a mission to teach other doctors how to help, starting with asking patients the right questions.
“Like, actually ask if somebody has pain with sex and then know what to do about it if the person says yes. Because patients won’t always volunteer the information if they don’t know that there’s something that can be done.”
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!
WHAT DO IDRIS Elba, Stanley Tucci, Jeff Goldblum, and Rihanna all have in common? BDE—or “big dick energy”—according to people on the Internet. After quickly becoming a breakout search term in 2018 (we’ll get to that in a sec), BDE cemented itself as an official part of the pop culture lexicon. The Oxford Dictionary even dubbed it “word of the year” when it first made waves on Twitter, and it has since featured heavily in the lyrics of songs like “Big Energy” by rapper Latto.
But what exactly does it mean to have BDE? Does it have anything to do with actual penis size? And more importantly, how can you tell if you have it?
Here’s the thing: There’s no hard-and-fast definition of BDE. To a degree, BDE is in the eye of the beholder, and is totally subjective. (Hence why some may insist that Timothée Chalamet has BDE, while others scoff at the suggestion.) That said, most people seem to be able to agree on the basics.
With that in mind, here’s what to know about what BDE is (and isn’t)—and what kind of person has it.
>The origins of BDE can be traced back to Ariana Grande’s infamous 2018 tweet revealing that her then-boyfriend, Pete Davidson, possessed a penis measuring “like 10 inches.” (The tweet was deleted shortly thereafter, but the Internet never forgets—and has receipts.) Among the many responses, one Twitter user suggested that Davidson has “big dick energy,” and that tweet quickly went viral. Within a matter of days, there were countless thinkpieces and debates about who has BDE, and who decidedly does not.
But what many don’t realize is that the term BDE was actually coined a month prior—when it was used to describe the then-recently deceased Anthony Bourdain. In a tweet eulogizing the famed chef, Kyrell Grant wrote: “We’re talking about how anthony bourdain had big dick energy which is what he would have wanted.” (Grant isn’t wrong.)
“It’s a phrase I’d used with friends to refer to guys who aren’t that great but for whatever reason you still find attractive,” Grant explained in an essay for the Guardian.
Urban Dictionary defines big dick energy as a kind of magnetic quality emitted by someone who “has a colossal phallus and doesn’t have to tell anyone about it.”
Urban Dictionary also notes that people with BDE possess the following qualities:
Something to keep in mind: Even if Grande didn’t brazenly reveal what Davidson was packing, his impressive dating history alone—which includes Kim Kardashian, Kate Beckinsale, and Emily Ratajkowski—made him the poster child for big dick energy. So, if your friends and family are often miffed by the people you attract, or you suspect you’re often dating “out of your league,” there’s a good chance you’ve got BDE.
But here’s what we learned when we polled a handful of people about their definition of BDE.
Lucy, 36, claims it’s displayed in “confidence but not cockiness… A guy who carries himself well but might have a bit of an attitude… he’s got that rizz.”
Eliza, 35, adds that “anyone can have it,” regardless of gender or other factors. “It’s self-assuredness,” she told Men’s Health. “The ultimate panty-melting combo is BDE with a dash of bashfulness. Like, you’re confident, but will absolutely blush when your crush says something a little naughty.”
According to Alex, 32, BDE can’t really be cultivated. “You can’t buy it, you can’t learn it — either have it or you don’t. If you think you have it you probably don’t,” they said. “Because that’s the thing about BDE: as soon as you start feeling yourself a little bit too much, it instantly evaporates.”
Zoe, 35, agrees. “It’s swagger without bravado—with a sprinkling of chivalry in the best cases but sometimes just aloofness,” she explained. “But men should know that they cannot fool us, BDE is not dictated (pun) by the individual but by those who observe them.”
And by the way, if you’re insecure about your height—Julia, 30, wants you to know that you can definitely still give off BDE even if you don’t qualify for the NBA.
“I feel like I need to preface this by saying that I don’t think only short men have BDE, but they’re truly what comes to mind,” she told Men’s Health. “BDE to me is all about how you carry yourself. I’m picturing a short king who’s walking tall with his shoulders back and exuding charm, wit, and compassion. He’s not trying to overcompensate, battle some Napoleon Complex, or feel the need to prove his point or validate his opinion.”
Grant, the inventor of this catchy phrase, admits that she doesn’t have BDE herself, because she owns the Hamilton soundtrack. “Anybody who owns that can’t have it,” she wrote.
But then again, having insecurities doesn’t automatically disqualify you from having BDE, says Zoe—in fact, it’s quite to the contrary.
“Self-deprecation actually goes a long way,” she adds.
While definitions across the Internet can range, it seems one thing folks can agree on is this: if you brag about the size of your D, you definitely don’t have BDE. You know the guy who has to drive the most expensive and impractical sports car or humblebrag about his international travels or professional achievements on social media? Yeah, that’s automatic LDE.
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!
If you’ve ever searched for information about sexual dysfunction and diet, you may have come across lists of foods that cause premature ejaculation. These lists often contain the usual culprits, from foods high in sugar and simple carbohydrates to fatty foods, artificial ingredients and others.
While your diet can impact your sexual health, there isn’t currently any scientific evidence that specific foods directly contribute to premature ejaculation.
Below, we’ve also explained why you shouldn’t feel any need to avoid specific foods if you’re prone to premature ejaculation and covered your options for treating PE and enjoying a more fulfilling, satisfying sex life.
Premature ejaculation, or PE, is a common form of sexual dysfunction that’s estimated to affect between 20 and 30 percent of men of all ages and backgrounds.
Experts aren’t yet aware of the precise causes of premature ejaculation, but they believe a variety of biological and psychological factors may play a role.
Experts believe that these two common issues might be linked through your behavior. For example, men with erectile dysfunction due to hormonal issues might feel extra performance anxiety during sex, causing them to rush to avoid losing their erections.
In short, identifying the cause of PE is, well, a little complicated. Currently, there’s no clear, single “cause of PE” that most guys can point to as the culprit.
Want to learn more about PE? Our complete guide to premature ejaculation explains everything you need to know about this common sexual performance issue, from causes and symptoms to the latest research on PE treatments.
Currently, no research suggests that specific types of food play any direct role in the development of premature ejaculation, but there’s a caveat to this statement.
Food itself isn’t on the list of potential PE causes, but your diet may impact hormone levels, hinder sperm count, make your mental health worse or — if it’s affecting your weight — make you self-conscious during every sexual experience.
So, while PE is about more than diet, you might want to consider cutting down on consuming high volumes of certain food items.
The idea that eating junk food, starchy foods or foods with certain “bad” ingredients causes premature ejaculation doesn’t appear to be backed up by any science.
With this said, there is a direct link between diet and some aspects of your health that can affect your performance in bed.
It should come as no surprise that the healthier you are in general, the better certain aspects of your sexual capacity will be.
This is because sexual function and performance, at least in men, are closely linked to hormonal and cardiovascular health.
As a man, sex hormones like testosterone play a key role in regulating your sex drive. Healthy levels of testosterone are associated with a high level of interest in sex, while low testosterone levels are linked to decreases in your libido.
Likewise, your cardiovascular system plays a vital role in blood circulation, which is essential for maintaining erections. Many ED drugs — such as PDE5 inhibitors — work by increasing blood flow to your penis, resulting in stronger, easier-to-get erections.
So, how does your diet fit into this? Although the specific foods you eat aren’t likely to cause or worsen premature ejaculation directly, your diet does affect certain aspects of your health that are related to sexual function and performance.
For example, heart disease is a known risk factor for erectile dysfunction. Eating a balanced, healthy diet can reduce your risk of developing cardiovascular disease, which may lower your ED risk and improve your sexual health by enhancing blood flow throughout your body.
Other research also suggests that high consumption of junk food and low consumption of food rich in nutrients are associated with low testosterone levels in men.
In other words, unhealthy eating habits don’t directly cause sexual performance issues like PE and ED, but they may contribute to them indirectly by affecting your general health and well-being.
In the limited sense that PE can result from your diet, some foods may benefit your sexual experience. While they won’t directly affect or “cure” premature ejaculation, they can improve issues that might be contributing to PE.
The best foods to help you perform better and potentially manage premature ejaculation are:
Dark chocolate isn’t just healthier because it contains fewer sweeteners — it’s also a great source of magnesium, zinc and other essential nutrients. Although research is limited, one small study suggests that low magnesium levels may be involved in premature ejaculation. Other magnesium-rich foods include pumpkin seeds, almonds, spinach, black beans, potato, rice and edamame.
Blueberries contain many essential vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. They also contain flavonoids, and foods rich in flavonoids are associated with lower rates of sexual dysfunction and better sexual performance.
Avocados promote better cardiovascular health and blood flow thanks to their vitamin E and healthy fat content.
Avocado consumption is also associated with better metabolic function, meaning consuming avocados can make you less likely to develop obesity — a significant factor in erectile dysfunction.
Fatty fish — like tuna, salmon and mackerel — are incredibly high in omega-3 fatty acids, which are beneficial for heart health and help manage blood pressure and prevent cardiovascular disease. They also contain zinc, which encourages healthier blood flow in your blood vessels, including the ones in your genitals that help you get an erection.
Bananas are potassium-rich fruits that benefit the heart, nerves and muscles. Cardiovascular health and muscle and nerve function are essential to sexual function and stamina.
Oh, and there’s a link between high blood pressure and potassium deficiency, so bananas may also help keep hypertension in check.
If you’re looking for a sweetener for your foods that can also naturally protect your sexual function, look no further than honey. Honey’s natural sugars for energy may improve mental well-being. It may also play a protective role in cardiovascular and sexual health, according to some research.
Watermelon is rich in citrulline — an amino acid your body turns into arginine, which helps relax the blood vessels to improve blood flow.
Watermelon also contains lycopene — an amino acid that may fight cancer and help people manage their weight — so it might help prevent high blood pressure and other medical conditions related to sexual dysfunction.
Pomegranate is loaded with beneficial antioxidants that can improve the health of your blood vessels, among other health benefits. While more research is needed, one study from 2007 looked at 53 men and found reason to believe that pomegranate may also increase libido and erectile function.
Beets contain nitrates, which can lower your blood pressure. That makes them healthy for people with hypertension, but also a sort of natural Viagra.
Garlic is great for sexual intercourse because it contains compounds like allicin, which improves blood vessel dilation and increases nitric oxide production.
You’ve likely heard of the oyster’s aphrodisiac reputation — did you suspect it was true? Oysters are rich in zinc, which is important for the production of the testosterone required for most of your sexual function and desire. Just know that zinc deficiency is very uncommon, so you may not need the supplementation.
While a handful of trail mix only helps your stamina while hiking, the omega-3 fatty acids and zinc in nuts and seeds contribute to cardiovascular health. They support sexual performance by helping maintain blood flow through the blood vessels of your penis and elsewhere.
Your diet doesn’t have to be the only treatment you use for PE, and home remedies are not the limits of treatment options for premature ejaculation.
Most of the time, you can treat premature ejaculation using a mix of over-the-counter treatments, lifestyle changes, behavioral therapies and, if necessary, prescription PE medication.
Here are some tips on putting all of these treatments into practice.
While making changes to your diet is unlikely to suddenly resolve your premature ejaculation, a good daily diet can have a positive impact on your overall health, sexual function and quality of life.
Try to eat a balanced diet that contains lots of nutrient-rich foods. Our lists of good foods for ED prevention and increasing testosterone levels discuss specific ingredients that you may want to prioritize for your general sexual health.
Sometimes, making minor changes to the way you have sex can help you delay orgasm and avoid ejaculating too early. Two popular techniques for treating PE are the stop-start technique, which involves temporarily stopping the sexual activity as you feel orgasm approaching, and the squeeze technique, which involves squeezing near the tip of your penis to delay orgasm.
Kegel exercises (exercises that work the pelvic floor muscles) have also been shown to improve sexual function and penile stamina and reduce the symptoms of sexual problems.
Premature ejaculation can often be treated with topical creams and sprays, such as our Delay Spray for Men and Clockstopper Climax Delay Wipes.
Topical treatments for PE work by reducing sensitivity without numbing your penis too much. This helps make the physical sensation of sex less overwhelming, allowing you to last longer after penetration.
Our guide to lidocaine spray for premature ejaculation goes into more detail about how topical sprays work, their effectiveness, potential side effects and more.
Although there aren’t any FDA-approved medications specifically for premature ejaculation, some antidepressants are commonly prescribed off-label as premature ejaculation pills.
For example, the antidepressants sertraline and paroxetine are both commonly used off-label to delay orgasm and treat premature ejaculation.
These medications work by increasing the amount of serotonin in your body. Research suggests that serotonin inhibits ejaculation, meaning it slows down the process of reaching orgasm during sex.
Our guide to using sertraline for premature ejaculation explains more about how SSRIs can help to slow down ejaculation and increase your sexual stamina.
Contrary to popular belief, there’s no convincing scientific evidence that shows that certain types of food speed up orgasm and contribute to premature ejaculation.
However, an unhealthy diet and lifestyle can affect your overall health, which may increase your risk of some sexual disorders. If you’re among the many men affected by PE, try to eat a healthy diet and maintain a balanced, active general lifestyle.
Our range of premature ejaculation treatments includes proven options for dealing with PE more directly, such as wipes, sprays and prescription medications available online after a consultation with a licensed healthcare professional.
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!
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How do I talk dirty? Are people actually having safe oral sex? How can I explore dating and sexuality in my 60s?
Dr. Carol Queen is an author, sex-positive activist, and the staff sexologist at Good Vibes. This week she joins Myisha to take on your questions about dirty talk, anilingus, and exploring dating and sexuality in your 60s. Plus, hear which of your dating horror stories left us truly mortified.
Complete Article 
HERE
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By DAISY HENRY
Keep that good thing going.
If there was a way to achieve better orgasms, would you take it? Sure, sex and pleasure shouldn’t always be about the big ‘O’ (in fact, there’s a solid case for rethinking that approach completely), but the temptation surely remains.
Stressed? Orgasm. Horny? Orgasm. Tired? Orgasm. Whether it’s self-inflicted or delivered to you by someone else, it’s a great cure for many of life’s woes. In fact, a mind-bending, head-exploding orgasm has to be high up there with one of the finer things.
When you hear the term pelvic floor, your mind likely jumps straight ahead to Kegels. More often than not, Kegels are heralded are the no-nonsense, fast-tracked way to improve your orgasms and have better sex.
While they seem simple enough (i.e. you can do them sitting at your desk and no one will know), I find the idea of doing constant Kegel reps throughout my day a bit much. According to Heather Foord, women’s health specialist and founder of Core Restore, a pelvic floor and core clinic, there’s a lot more you can do to help strengthen and relax your pelvic floor and ultimately achieve better orgasms. Below, Heather walks us through the basics.
What are we talking about when we say ‘pelvic floor’?
Here’s the kicker. For a muscle group that’s so important, we can get so confused about ‘what’ and ‘where’ the pelvic floor is because we can’t see it. The pelvic floor is the shape of a basin. It connects to each side of your pelvis and then connects to the pubic bone at the front and the tailbone at the back.
Its number one job is to support your pelvic organs and support the holes you have ‘down there’. So, for those of us with vulvas, it provides a framework around your urethra (where you wee), your vagina and your bowel. And, contrary to popular belief, the pelvic floor affects so much more than how you wee.
Does a stronger pelvic floor equal stronger orgasms?
In short, yes. Research shows us that women with stronger pelvic floor muscles have higher sexual function and increased levels of desire, arousal and orgasm. The female orgasm starts with the pelvic floor contracting and relaxing in a rhythmic fashion. That’s where the ‘waves of pleasure’ that women describe stem from.
The contractions of the pelvic floor can number anywhere from one to 20 or even more. We all want longer, stronger orgasms, right? So, we want to make sure the pelvic floor has all the strength and endurance it can to keep that good thing going.
And, it’s not just about your orgasm. If you’re partaking in penetrative sex with a partner, the pelvic floor muscles can play a key role in their pleasure too (talk about a multitasker). So, when you climax, the pelvic floor closes and relaxes around the vagina and anus, enhancing the sensation for your plus one.
For those of you with a penis, the pelvic floor is also key when it comes to sexual function. Weak muscles can make it tricky to get or maintain an erection and it can lead to premature ejaculation. These muscles are important for the male orgasm, as their job is to contract during climax to eject the semen from the body.
How might your pelvic floor negatively affect your orgasms?
The first and most obvious way is that if your pelvic floor is weak, the orgasm contractions are likely to be weak so it may be harder to reach orgasm – and if you eventually do, it tends to be a bit of a ‘blah’ orgasm.
But, like any muscle, your pelvic floor can also be too tight. An overly tight pelvic floor (or hypertonic as we say in the health industry) can mean it’s also really hard to achieve orgasm because the muscles are so tight and tired from being switched on all the time, they have no more energy to contract further to get you to climax. This can also lead to painful sex and even pain after orgasm (which is called dysorgasmia).
What other exercises can I do that aren’t Kegels?
If you’re like me and struggle to remember your Kegels, don’t stress – there are other ways to strengthen your pelvic floor! And, if you’re overly tight? There are stretches you can do to help your pelvic floor relax, too. If you’re looking to work on strength, try exercises like the goblet squat, marching bridge and bird dog. If you want to relax your muscles, try a child’s pose, mermaid pose and reclined butterfly sit.
My biggest tip is to get to know your own body and reach out for help. Sex, libido and orgasms are dependent on so many different things. It can be related to your physical function (i.e. pelvic floor), or it can be impacted by stress levels, hormones, lifestyle… the list goes on.
Whether it’s lack of libido, painful sex, struggle to climax, struggles with erections or vaginal laxity, know that you’re not alone and there are so many health professionals here to help. In the Core clinics, we use technology to treat pelvic floor weakness in less than three weeks, but if you can’t make it to a clinic and want to find someone local, get in touch.
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!
By Mark Travers
“If you’re too busy for date night, you’re too busy.” These are the words of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, renowned researchers, therapists and marriage counselors. While they suggest there are multiple factors that contribute to a thriving marriage, they place particular emphasis on the role of date nights.
According to their 2019 novel, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, there are eight conversation-focused dates that every couple should have in their relationship; in fact, they consider them essential. As they explain, “And the big secret to creating a love that lasts and grows over time is simple. Make dedicated, non-negotiable time for each other a priority, and never stop being curious about your partner.”
Here’s a breakdown of the first four dates, including their suggestions on how to plan them out.
The first date should be focused on trust and commitment. They emphasize the importance of this date by reminding us that “In a relationship, commitment is a choice we make every single day, over and over again,” and that we should continue to “choose it even when we are tired and overworked and stressed out.”
The second date should be focused on how you, as partners, address conflict in your relationship. While this may seem like an unusual date, the Gottmans advise discussing conflict management outside of actual fights, “as the best time to discuss conflict is not in the middle of a heated argument.”
Your third date is where you’ll focus on the state of sex and intimacy within your relationships. As the Gottmans explain, “We all want to keep our relationship passionate and connected, and there are ways to both create and destroy your connection that all take place out of the bedroom.” They note, however, that “What’s most important is not to let sex become the last item on a very long to-do list, the final obligation you turn to when you’re both exhausted.”
“Work can take up nearly as much of our time, energy and ability to commit as our relationship,” explain the Gottmans—which is why it’s important to focus on this topic during your fourth date. “In fact,” they continue, “work can often be the ‘third party’ in a relationship.” Thus, thoroughly discussing career and finances is nearly, if not as, important as talking about commitment, trust, conflict and sex.
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!