— Experts are calling it downright ‘cowardly’
By Penelope Clifton
Is your long-term partner avoiding you? Are they emotionally detached? Is the spark fizzling? We’ve all been there and now there’s a name for it – slow dumping.
There’s nothing quite like the lust you feel at the start of a new relationship. You want to spend every waking minute with your new love, and their attentiveness can be intoxicating.
But there comes a time when things become a bit routine. While some couples grow together, mature and take the next steps as dedicated and loyal companions, others might find themselves drifting apart.
In some cases, it’s not quite as mutual, and instead, one half of the couple is consciously doing all they can to avoid the other. Instead of biting the bullet and breaking up with their significant other, they sabotage the relationship so the other will be forced to call it.
TikTok users are calling it ‘slow dumping’ and it’s one of the most brutal ways to end a relationship.
Signs of a slow dumping
- Reduced communication
- Avoiding quality time together
- Emotional detachment
- Lack of intimacy
- A growing sense of distance
Unlike ghosting, slow dumping or ‘fizzling’ is exclusive to established relationships.
“It’s a passive and cowardly way of ending a relationship that can be very hurtful for the receiver,” Nia Williams, a dating coach, told Metro.
While yes, it can be a natural culmination when a relationship is nearing its expiry date, if the person on the receiving end is still blissfully in love with their other half, it’s a knife straight to the heart.
At the other end of the spectrum, Williams said it could be an effect of the slow dumper’s mental health. “[It can] also be symptomatic of personal stress, anxiety, depression, or other issues in the relationship that need addressing,” she said.
Moe Ari Brown, Hinge’s love and connection expert, told The Mirrorsuch behaviour can be detrimental to the person on the receiving end.
“Slowly phasing someone out without offering an explanation can trigger feelings of unworthiness, confusion and self-doubt,” Brown explained. “If you’re not feeling the connection, remember there’s another human being on the other side of that screen – and they deserve closure.”
Rhian Kivits, a therapist, agreed. “The human mind has a negative bias which means we often assume the worst in situations where we have no clear answers.
“With dating fizzling you may be left telling yourself that it must have happened because you weren’t attractive enough, sexy enough or entertaining enough for the other person.”
She said the partner’s shady behaviour can make you “ruminate on your perceived flaws.”
More Coverage
So what can you do if you feel like you’re being slow dumped? Williams said it’s all about communication.
“It’s crucial to initiate an open and honest conversation.” Just don’t jump to any conclusions before hearing them out. Express your concerns and feelings and seek clarity about the state of the relationship.”
If they accuse you of making a mountain out of a molehill, and things don’t change, then you might actually be on to something. Then, the only decision that’s left to make is whether you want to be in the kind of relationship where honesty and kindness are lower priorities than avoidance.
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!