Tag Archives: Intimacy

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Tonya Jone Miller — Podcast #370 — 04/03/13


Hey sex fans, welcome back!TJM01

Buckle your seat belts, because we’re in for one hell of a ride. Coming up is a new edition of the Sex EDGE-U-cation show. And by now I’m sure you know this is the series that takes a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative lifestyles and we do so with a remarkably talented people from all over the freakin’ world, don’t cha know.

My guest today is phone sex performer Tonya Jone Miller. She is an educator, sex positive activist and, of course, a self-identified sex worker. She’s brilliant and kinky, and if that weren’t enough, she’s got a big, brassy sense of humor that’ll knock you out.

Tonya and I discuss:

  • Being an Aural Courtesan;
  • Imagination and sex;
  • Mutual satisfaction in her work;
  • Verbalizing sex and eroticism for sexual health;
  • On the road with rock bands;
  • Acting school;
  • Sexual triggers and taboos;
  • Fantasy and reality;
  • The “gateway drug” theory;
  • Her gift of acceptance;
  • Her woman clients;
  • The infidelity question.

You’ll find more about Tonya on her website HERE! Her FetLife page HERE! On her Facebook page HERE! And, by all means, do not miss her Twitter feed HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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Awakening Your Sensual Self Post Cancer

Name: Doug
Gender: Male
Age: 58
Location: San Diego
HI: I need some help. I had my prostate removed due to prostate cancer. I feel I have lost my man-hood. I don’t experience hard-ons anymore. My penis is dead. Can you recommend something to help me?

It’s truly uncanny; in the past week alone I’ve received similar email from four different people. Each had a very different presenting problem, but all were experiencing very similar sexual issues. Get this, I heard from a woman in Japan who is recovering from a radical mastectomy. I heard from a guy in San Francisco who is recovering from a serious meth addiction. A young wife and mother in North Carolina whose husband, and father of her two kids, has returned from Iraq a basket case…and now you, Doug.prostatecancer_600x450

Its astonishing that, despite the dramatic differences in each of your life stories, all of you report pretty much same thing — you feel less than whole, disconnected from your sexuality and devoid of any real intimacy or meaningful sexual outlet. It is so amazing how, despite our unique individual difficulties, there are often a universal response to life’s troubling complexities.

Regaining a sense of your sexual-self after prostate surgery, or any of the other problems I mentioned above, is an arduous, but rewarding task. With your self-confidence in the toilet and zero libido to boot, I suggest that you begin your rehabilitation by connecting with others similarly challenged as you. In your case, it will probably be other cancer survivors. More likely than not, they will be a whole lot more sympathetic to your issues and attuned to your predicament. Sometimes, people who have yet to experience a life threatening disease or a disfiguring surgery don’t have a clue about how to interact with those that have. It’s not their fault, it’s just the way things are.

I suggest looking into a support group, if you haven’t done so already. Once you make that connection, you will find, that you are not alone. Other people similarly challenged as you are experiencing many of very same things you are. And to my mind, it’s way much easier to face and handle life’s difficulties when surrounded and supported by others.

AGDD_front coverOne word of caution; my experience is that many disease-based programs and support groups shy away from intimacy concerns. This is a real tragedy, because this is the one aspect of healing that consistently remains unaddressed by the medical profession. That is way I included an entire chapter about the intimacy and sexual needs of chronically ill, elder and dying people in my book — The Amateur’s Guide To Death and Dying; Enhancing the End of Life. I encourage you to check out the book; it’s loaded with amazing sex-positive information.

Next I suggest that you first try connecting with people on a sensual level as opposed to a sexual level. I firmly believe in massage as the best say to accomplish this. Think about it. Imagine the good you’ll be able to do for others, as well as yourself with therapeutic touch. And, to my mind, therapeutic touch also includes sensual touch. It will soothe so much more than the jangled nerves and disrupted muscle tissue caused by radical invasive surgery. It gives the one doing the touch a renewed sense of him/herself a pleasure giver, which is totally important to us all. And when you receive the touch, it will begin to reawaken sensory perceptions you thought were lost for good. And your libido as well as your erection will bloom again. I promise. Here’s a tip: to keep that stiffy goin, I encourage you to use a cockring.

Now if you feel your massage skills aren’t up to par, why not take a class or workshop in massage. You might want to look to something like the Body Electric School Of Massage. They have load of training options. And learning is a hands-on experience. What could be more liberating than that?

If a class is a bit too intimidating at first, you might consider purchasing a book on massage. A great primer is: Male Erotic Massage by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a holistic approach to bodywork, including the sexual and the spiritual aspects of Male Erotic Massage. There are over 200 photographs in this volume that reveal both massage techniques and the beauty of the male body embracing the male body. The strength, the joy, the gentleness, the ardor, the tenderness, the equanimity, the pleasure — they are all included.

Another title is: Erotic Massage, The Touch of Love also by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a more inclusive volume of erotic massage. It describes long, flowing strokes for the whole body, including female and male genitals. By the way, this was the very first massage book to explicitly illustrate genital massage. The techniques described are simple and easy to perform. It’s superbly illustrated, and the text is both tender and playful.Massage

Finally, your gift of massage is the ideal way to connect with another human, be it a friend, a family member, lover, or even a stranger. Your touch can be either seductive or non-seductive, or maybe a little of both. You can count on this purposefully touching to open new doors. You’ll discover new pleasures, both subtle and profound, as you give as well as receive touch.

I encourage you to push beyond the isolation I know you are feeling, Doug. Purposeful touching, like massage, will change your perceptions about sex, sensuality, and intimacy. And like I said, it will also resurrect your boner. I know this can happen. I’ve seen it happen. Doug, now it’s your turn to make it happen!

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Too Big!

Name: Jordan
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location ?
Hi, I’m a young male aged 18, and recently have become sexually active. I revealed my penis to my girlfriend for the first time and she said that I was too big for her. I am 9in when erect, and 4.5in in girth. Is this too big and if so what procedures are there to make it smaller?
Thanks

This is so precious; I love it. You are so precise with your measurements. I suspect that you pay a lot of attention to what hangs between your legs. Am I right?Sand-Cock

While I want to believe this is a legitimate question from a clueless pup, who is swingin’ some mighty big pipe, I actually have my doubts. If old Jordan here is pulling my leg, it’s ok. It’s been pulled a lot before. On the off chance that this is on the up and up, and our boy is really concerned about the size of his unit vis-à-vis his girlfriend’s equipment, I do have some things to say about how things…even big things…can fit into relatively small places.

But before we get to that, I thought we’d do a little remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vulva is made up of the same tissue as your penis and scrotum? In other words your cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. So if you follow the logic, Jordan, you’ll find the answer to your query. Pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks & balls.

Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now the variation in size and shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, etc, are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the thing itself. A vagina is best understood as a potential space. It is very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space from time to time. Please tell me you’re clear on that concept!

Well-HungAgain if you follow the logic you’ll realize that, just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson…well, that’s just a whole other issue, don’t cha know.

Second, and this is a most important point, I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice long conversation with your GF about her whoha. Do this before you start pokin’ away at this mysterious entity that you clearly don’t understand. There’s a good chance that even your GF doesn’t know her way around down there, so this will be a great experience for your both. Ask her for a little tour of her fine pussy. Have her show you around. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are plenty of ‘em. If you think your dick is talented, bub? Let me tell ya, it pales in comparison to a cunt.

Besides, this little exercise will give you a load of brownie points with your GF. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussies in general, which hopefully will make you a much better lover whatever comes your way in the future.

Finally, if your GF is concerned about your size it’s incumbent upon you to prove to her that you are an expert cocksmith. That you will make it your business to get her completely turned on before you attempt to administer that 9X5er. Here’s a tip: most women who complain about painful intercourse, regardless of the size of their partner’s hose, report that their offish partners don’t get them warmed up enough before commencing the fuck. No arousal means there’s no lubrication. No lubrication means there’s sure to be painful fucking ahead…even if you’ve got a puny pipe to swing. Get it?dick-tater

A word to the wise, Jordan, if a guy’s dick is hard it’s evidence that he’s aroused. If his partner isn’t lubricating big-time then she not aroused. Which tells me that the guy didn’t take care of business like he should have before he started to poke and prod with his one-eyed monster.

You want in? Better pave the way pup! And this will certainly include lots of a high-quality personal lubricant. Don’t know which one to choose? Check out my adult products review site, DrDickSexToyReviews. Look for the CATEGORY pull-down menu in the side bar; scroll down till your find the category — LUBE and presto!

Good luck

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Gina Hunting — Podcast #366 — 03/06/13


Hey sex fans, welcome back.

Holy Cow! We haven’t had a Sex EDGE-U-cation show since late October. Now that’s just not right. Luckily, I have the solutionGina to that dilemma on tap today. We welcome back this series that takes a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative lifestyles and we do so with a remarkably talented, and oh so pervy woman who lives right here in the Emerald City.

My guest today is Gina Hunting. She is an educator, activist and woman of great wisdom. And she is edgy as all get out. Just wait till you hear the litany of the things that makes her happy. I can assure you it ain’t eatin’ bon-bons and watching her favorite TV programs, if ya catch my drift.

Gina and I discuss:

  • Seattle, a hotbed of perversion;
  • BDSM not her lifestyle, but a really important hobby;
  • The intensity and intimacy of a scene;
  • Coming to it all as an adult;
  • A matter of context;
  • Genderqueer and gender exploration;
  • Coming to The Emerald City from San Francisco;
  • A thing she does; not a thing she is;
  • Coming out as a Top;
  • Misdirected power exchange;
  • The Center for Sex Positive Culture.

You’ll find more about Gina on her on FetLife page HERE! On her Facebook page HERE! And be sure to check out her upcoming program, Women In Kink, HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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SEX WISDOM With Mandy Traut — Podcast #364 — 02/20/13


Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

One of the things that makes my life so wonderful are opportunities, like this, to introduce you, my audience, to remarkable people you Image 1probably would never know otherwise. This is particularly true for this the SEX WISDOM series, which brings you interviews with the movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality. I generally chat with colleagues well established in our field, but today I want to introduce you to someone just beginning her career. And what an illustrious career it will be. I am delighted to welcome a new friend and fellow therapist, Mandy Traut.

Mandy is a psychotherapist here in the Emerald City. She has a wonderful and engaging philosophy and therapeutic style that underscores her commitment to the health and wellbeing of her clients. And I am looking forward to getting to know her better right along with you.

Mandy and I discuss:

  • The dehumanizing effect of the “disorder” designation;
  • Her sex-positive credo;
  • Her VISTA gig;
  • Coming out as kinky;
  • Body awareness and sexual health and wellbeing;
  • Mindfulness and being grounded;
  • Performance anxiety;
  • Kinky vs. vanilla
  • Meeting bendyogagirl;
  • Context is everything.

Mandy invites you to visit her on her site HERE! You can also find her on Facebook HERE! And she’s on Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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