Search Results: Ass Pain

You are browsing the search results for ass pain

Come As You Are

Name: Valeri
Gender: Female
Age: 38
Location: Dubuque IA
Dr Dick: I just went through a very painful divorce. My husband of 18 years up and decided that he wanted to start over…in a new job, in a new state with a new girlfriend, someone 12 years his junior. I must be completely blind, because I didn’t see any of this coming. Sure we had our problems, what marriage doesn’t? I want to move on too, but I feel so stuck. I feel like this big loser. The few tentative forays into dating have been horrible. Every guy I meet is this lying sack of shit. Sorry, does that sound too bitter? HELP!

Damn girl, that’s fucked…big time! It’s hell when relationships go belly-up, and I don’t care if they are business relationships or relationships of the heart. If there’s an established bond of trust that is broken it’s gonna smart. And when the bond is broken unilaterally, it’s even worse. But what can you expect when you’re dealing with humans.

Surviving a break-up is not unlike surviving a death. In fact, the demise of a relationship is very much a death in every sense of the word. I believe that any relationship worth talking about has a life of its own; you see, it’s greater then the sum of its parts. I gotta tell ya, I see a lot of this in my private practice. A couple drags in their relationship and it’s immediately apparent that it’s on life support. They’ve actively throttled the relationship to within an inch of its life, and they want me to fix it. Most of the time the option to “fix” has long passed. All we can hope to do, at this point, is preside over the death of the thing, providing its passing with as much dignity as possible. But to tell the truth, when a relationship is in such grave condition, and there is very little good will left between the partners, sadly there’s not gonna be a lot of dignity when the thing finally expires. It breaks my heart, but what are ya gonna do?

Many years ago a therapist working with sick and dying people wrote a book called, On Death and Dying. In it the author, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, identified five stages of dying — 1. Denial: The initial stage: “It can’t be happening.” 2. Anger: “Why ME? This is so unfair!” 3. Bargaining: “Just let me live to see my son graduate.” 4. Depression: “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?” 5. Acceptance: “It’s going to be OK.”

I find it helpful to use these same identifiable stages to talk about the end of a relationship, particularly a relationship that ends unilaterally. If you don’t mind I’d like to walk through these stages with you so that you can see how applicable they are to someone in your situation.

Grieving the death of a loved one, or a relationship, involves the whole of us — our physical, emotional and social selves. We have to relearn, or cognitively adjust to, our new self without the loved one or relationship. Moving through the end of things is hard to work. And to survive it; we need be patient with ourselves. You, on the other hand, seem to be having a particular problem with this since you say you feel like a loser. That kind of mindset is not going be particularly helpful. So, if you can please jettison that kind of thinking. Or at least try to have a bit more compassion for yourself. Maybe you could shelf that self-deprecation for a while, until you get your bearings once again.

A person is faced with a fact that is too painful to accept and so she rejects it instead, insisting that it can’t possibly be true despite overwhelming evidence. This is Stage 1 — Denial! “Honey, I’m moving out. I’m getting a new job in a new state. Oh, and I have this new, much younger girlfriend too.” “This can’t be happening! Sure we’ve had our troubles, I’ll grant you that. But so does every relationship.” Denying the reality of the unpleasant fact may actually serve a purpose. It’s a coping mechanism for dealing with something overwhelming and too shocking to take in at once.

We have a gut-wrenching emotional response to the injustice, humiliation, and betrayal. This is Stage 2 — Anger. Depending on the kind of person we are, we may actively express our anger by lashing out verbally or physically. Or we may passively express our anger — turning it inward becoming silent, sulking or passive-aggressive. We may even consider harming our self as a way of punishing the other.

We try to fix what’s wrong. This is Stage 3 — Bargaining. “We can make this work! I’ll change, I promise! I know I can make you happy. Stay for the sake of the kids. What will the neighbors say? This will kill your mother! What does she have that I don’t have? You’ll never be able to show your face in this town again.” Hmmm, does any of this sound familiar, Valeri?

All our efforts to reverse the inevitable course of things leave us emotionally drained and exhausted. This is Stage 4 — Depression. Why bother with anything — family, friends, work, personal appearances, whatever — life as we knew it is over. We can’t seem to project ourselves beyond the ending of things. In the bleakness we often begin to self-medicate. A little too much food, booze, drugs? As if depression is not punishing enough, we often pile it on. I’ve heard some many people say; “hurting myself is the only thing that makes me feel I’m still alive.”

Slowly we begin to regroup. Maybe it’s through sheer willpower, or the interventions of friends and family, or maybe it’s just time itself. But we stop resisting and move toward acquiescence. This is Stage 5 — Acceptance. We stop resisting what we cannot change. Even if the end was un-chosen, undesired and inescapable, we can still willingly choose to accept it.

I hasten to add that these stages are guidelines. They are not presented in the order that they always happen. Nor is one stage predicated on the other. How long a person is in one stage or another is situational. However, I do hope this was helpful. What is certain is you will experience a wide range of feelings and emotions.

Some suggest the therapy of keeping yourself busy as a means of healing and moving on. This may sound elemental, but it’s not as easy as it seems. Most of us tend to wallow in our misery. We are way too indulgent with sitting on the pitty-pot. While you definitely need time to recover from the divorce, this period of heartache will have an end. And ends of things always led to beginnings of other things.

You now have certain freedoms that you may not have had while you were married. Once the initial period of grieving is over, it is important to jump back into life. Become more involved in your social group. Going out might seem unappealing at first, but it’s better than staying home and feeling sorry for yourself. If you’re only dating assholes, I’ll bet you’re fishing in the wrong holes, so to speak. The internet makes it so much easier to connect with quality people of ever stripe. Use this tool wisely. May I suggest that you start by connecting with people with similar interests as you, rather than posting a profile and photos on a dating site.

Of course, it is necessary to have some time with yourself to realize that you can survive and even be happy without your dick of a husband. The secret to successful grieving is that you need to feel the pain in order to get through it. Therefore, using drugs (prescription or recreational) and alcohol to numb yourself only make things worse.

You might consider working with a therapist to help you understand why your relationship ended. With a little luck you’ll learn how to avoid blaming yourself for the demise. No one is without fault, and your husband definitely has more than his share. But blaming him for everything will do you no good. You are neither totally to blame, nor are you the helpless victim. Lingering at either extreme will rob you of your self-esteem.

At first, being single might seem weird or even unappealing. But being single has its perks. Being single allows you to focus on you and take better care of yourself. And what better way to do that then by reconnecting with your sexual-self. Masturbation is gonna be your best friend during this transition period. Lavish time and pleasure on yourself. You’re worth it! Indulge yourself; instead of chocolate, get yourself a supped up vibrator and kick that thing into first gear, maybe even second! By spending more private sexual time with yourself, you’ll reconnect with who you are and what you want. This will make it easier for you to later choose a partner who can and will satisfy your needs.

Good luck

More of Sophia Sky – Podcast #227 – 08/18/10

Hey sex fans,

My friend, the exceptional educator, Sophia Sky, returns today with more of her excellent SEX WISDOM. I love talking to Sophia; she is so accessible and down to earth.  Yet her knowledge and perceptions on a wide range of topics are so insightful you can tell that they are the result of a life thoughtfully lived.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our conversation that appeared here last week at this time, did you? Well don’t worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive, right here on my site. Look for the site’s search function in the sidebar to your right, type in Podcast #225 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Sophia and I discuss:

  • Processing pain — other applications;
  • Her connection with erotic art —
  • …Modeling;
  • …Performing;
  • The Little Red Studio;
  • The Seattle Erotic Art Festival;
  • Erotic art and porn;
  • Female oriented pornography;
  • Kink, BDSM, mind games and power play;
  • Preorgasmia and masturbation;
  • Her sexual heroes.

Sophia invites you into her world HERE!  Look for her on Twitter, Facebook, and FetLife too.

I’m taking a brief hiatus from podcasting while I work on the remodel of my websites. The next podcast will appear Monday, September 6th.

See another slideshow of Sophia at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.

[nggallery id=83]

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: : Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Sex Wisdom with Sophia Sky – Podcast #225 – 08/11/10


Hey sex fans,

Holy cow! I’ve apparently fallen into a pot jam; gorgeous and talented Seattle women surround me! Monday I posted the first part of my conversation with the artistic knockout, Jesse Belle-Jones.  Today the equally stunning and gifted Sophia Sky joins me for some of her topnotch SEX WISDOM. This podcast series, as you recall, brings us conversations with movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality — researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers — all who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves. And Sophia fits that bill beautifully.

Teaching, bodies, BDSM, art and performing are among Sophia’s passions. And she selflessly offers us her insights and acumen in the most charming and disarming manner. You’re gonna love this my friends!

Sophia and I discuss:

  • Being a pervicacious, strong and playful switch;
  • Becoming Sophia Sky;
  • The history of her anatomy classes;
  • Massage therapy;
  • Anatomy 101 for kinksters;
  • Head Games — Anatomy for Edge Play with the Head and Neck;
  • Genital Anatomy for Pleasure & Fun
  • Using the Senses in BDSM Play;
  • Processing Pain as a Team.

Sophia invites you to visit her in her den of iniquity HERE!

See a slideshow of Sophia at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.

[nggallery id=82]

 

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

 

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Meat Substitutes

Hey sex fans!

And now for something completely different! It’s Product Review Friday and instead of reviewing a sex toy sent to us from a manufacturer or retailer we’re gonna make our own sex toy. That’s right; thanks to our friends at Empire Labs we’re gonna make some vibrating dildos.

Dr Dick Review Crew members Glenn & Hank and Ken & Denise will show you around the two kits we got.

Clone-A-Willy Kit Original —— $39.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “What’s more fun than buying yourself a sex toy? Making your own, that’s what.”
Hank: “Glenn nearly wet himself when he caught sight of the Clone-A-Willy Kit. He can’t help it; he fancies himself a regular Martha Stewart. I swear this man can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
Glenn: “Awww, see how you are? Isn’t he sweet? It’s true though, I got an instant hardon thinking about cloning Hank’s willie.”
Hank: “At first I thought, damn, my hog ain’t gonna fit in that tube. But it did and the rest is history.”
Glenn: “Hold on there, big fella! We didn’t even tell them what happened.”
Hank: “Yeah, sorry, I got a little ahead of myself.”
Glenn: “If you don’t mind me quoting from the Empire Labs promotional materials. The Clone-A-Willy’s medically tested molding gel process captures incredible, life-like detail, making this the most personalized vibrating sex toy you will ever own. Each kit contains everything you need to create an exact replica of any penis in the comfort of your own home.”
Hank: “There are several things you ought to know from the get-go. First, you must follow the directions exactly as presented. Second, it’s essential that you have everything near-to-hand before you start to mix any of the ingredients. Third, if it’s your cock that’s getting molded, you will have to maintain an erection under some stressful conditions; like ‘hurry up and wait!’”
Glenn: “All very good points! I will add that the process can get a little messy. If you’re anal retentive like me you will want to use disposable plastic containers to do your mixing. And be sure to cover your countertop and floor with some plastic sheeting. I used some leftover plastic painting tarp that I draped over the counter and on to the floor.”
Hank: “While Glenn was busy in the kitchen I put on some porn and stretched out on the couch. I slipped on a snug cock ring and started to pull my pud using a little water-based lube. I wanted to make sure that I was at full-mast for my big close-up.”
Glenn: “Once I had everything set up I called for Hank to join me. He had this sheepish look on his face, but he also had a raging hardon. I think he was afraid that he would lose his wood before the mold was set. I assured him we’d work fast. Well actually, that’s precisely what you have to do…work fast. We trimmed the plastic tube to the right size. I mixed the molding powder in water and filled the tube. Hank plunged in his dick and we held it there till the mold set.”
Hank: “The anticipation was the worst part. But it’s over almost as fast as it began. I think it only took a minute for the mold to set. I pealed off the excess molding material, twisted the plastic tube a bit and out popped my cock; no worse for the wear.”
Full Review HERE

Clone-A-Willy Kit Glow in the Dark —— $44.95

Ken & Denise
Ken: “We didn’t exactly know what we were getting into with this Clone-A-Willy Kit. It promises a lifelike replica of my dick that would Glow in the Dark. I was game, at least initially.”
Denise: “Yeah, we thought it would be a fun little project full of laughs. Well that’s how it started out anyway.”
Ken: “Since I was the one being ‘molded’, the pressure was on me to maintain an erection under less than erotic circumstances. I tell you, it’s not as easy as it sounds. I have a renewed appreciation for all the male porn stars out there, who seem to have a perpetual bone.”
Denise: “I don’t suppose I helped the situation all that much, because I became increasingly anxious about following the directions for preparing the molding goop. You actually have to have the water you mix with the powder at the precise temperature. And I read a lot of comments online posted by couples who screwed up the process and I sort of lost my nerve.”
Ken: “I suggested that we put the kit away till we were in a better mindset and I wasn’t worried about my boner.”
Denise: “We checked in with Dr Dick about our apprehensions and he told us to approach it alike a game, not a project. That helped some, because Ken and I were beginning to freak out about messing things up.”
Ken: “Dr Dick also suggested that I wear a cockring to help with maintaining my stiffy. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I also decided I’d slip in a little butt plug, because that always gets me going.”
Denise: “I decided to have a glass of wine…ok, it was a big glass of wine. And that helped too; it really took the edge off.”
Ken: “Denise was too busy organizing everything and mixing stuff to help me with my wood. Generally all she has to do is go down on me and I’m as hard as a rock.”
Denise: “Actually he did fine on his own. He’s such a trooper. All I can say is that I’m happy it wasn’t me that had to get turned on under these conditions.”
Ken: “Once the molding goop is ready it all has to be done very quickly. Luckily, I was ready. I sunk my junk into the goop and prayed that I’d hold the erection for the minute or so it takes for the mold to set up. A minute never lasted so long. We like totally recommend that you have something on the floor and the countertop to prevent spill messes.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Kinky LITE

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we another selection of products for the burgeoning  kinkster. We have our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com to thank for all these toys.

And today we welcome two new Dr Dick Review Crew members — the oh so charming couple —  Rod & Eric.

Fetish Fantasy Series – Chains of Love Bondage Kit —— $26.70

Rod
Many years ago I had a boyfriend that liked to use my neckties to tie me to his metal bed frame and have his way with me. Ahhh fond memories of days gone by. So with this rather rousing recollection I was excited to try out the Fetish Fantasy Series – Chains of Love Bondage Kit. This kit comes with chained wrist restraints with adjustable cuffs; chained ankle restraints with adjustable cuffs; a leather love mask; 2 hot wax candles; and a leather whip.

From our point of view, the packaging leaves a great deal to be desired. While there was a pretty sexy guy on the front there was only a woman with him. We think the box should show other model alternatives — two guys, or two gals for instance. Or maybe there should be other packaging options that are more inclusive. We thought that just having the one male/female option was off-putting to a big segment of the perspective customer base; like us for example, a gay couple.

Anyway, the description promises that you can act out your darkest desires and take turns role-playing with your lover. That sounded like a plan so Eric and I hopped on the bed and poured out the contents of the box to get started.

The first thing we noticed about Chains of Love Bondage Kit is the smell. YUK! I was a chemist in a former life; and the first thing I thought of was not erotic foreplay, but the need to look for a hazmat bag to dispose of this stuff. It smelled as if someone had just varnished a room full of wood. And given the smell I can tell you it was not MY wood, because the offending odor was a real boner killer! Off gas, the chemical smell I just described, indicates toxicity.

But being the diligent (not to mention horny) couple that we are we persevered. I volunteered for the submissive role. And having in the past enjoyed being restrained I let Eric put me in both the wrist and ankle cuffs. They come with Velcro for quick release in case you forget your safe word or have to make an impromptu bathroom run. Unfortunately, we never had to worry about that. Once the cuffs were in place. I adjusted my weight a bit and in doing so I moved my legs slightly. The “chains” joining the ankle cuffs broke! When I reached down with my manacled hands to investigate this regrettable turn of events; the wrist restraints chain broke too. So much for the bondage concept! Did anyone at the factory bother to test this shit before sending it out to unsuspecting customers?

Additionally the “leather whip” looks like tassels from a little girl’s bicycle that were spray-painted black. This isn’t the least bit erotic; it is, however, a freakin joke. Actually the mask is OK and we did use the two “hot wax” candles during a storm so not all was lost. The rest of it we tossed in the trash to get the stench out of the house. Once we abandoned the Chains of Love Bondage Kit, we put on some porn and got on with the evening.
Full Review HERE

Fetish Fantasy Series – Bed Bindings Restraint Kit —— $38.77

Rod
If looking at the packaging is supposed to tell you anything, you might guess the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit would be fun. Although, as a gay man, I would have preferred packaging that featured a well-hung and muscled guy to inspire me. But let’s not judge the book by its cover.

Getting the Restraint Kit set up is the first challenge, as you have to thread it under the mattress and through the headboard. But after you have it in place it’s easy to conceal the restraints by dropping them down next to the mattress to wait inconspicuously for your next play session. This insures that your maid, your mother-in-law or any other person that may traipse through your boudoir will never know about your dark kinky side.

The cuffs are made of a kind of rubber foam that actually feels quite nice against the skin. They are bound by sturdy material with Velcro for easy-off, easy-on access. My partner Eric volunteered to be “managed” first. I put the ankle and wrist cuffs on him and clipped him in. The first thing we noticed was that, even for the novice, these cuffs are easy to get out of. Then I discovered I needed to adjust the straps to really tighten the thing down. Once I did that I had Eric restrained quite nicely. I should have taken photos!

We then got down to business and I started a little feather-duster torture treatment on my spread-eagle partner and the squirming and straining began in earnest. OOPS! In no time, the flimsy construction of the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit began to show. The stitching holding the straps to the cuffs stated to tear as Erik writhed in tormented pleasure. At the end or our little session he was still restrained, but just barely. I am certain those cuffs won’t last for even one more session. That’s disappointing.
Full Review HERE

Weighted Nipple Clamps —— $12.50

Rod
OK I’ve really got to slow down on all these product reviews or I’m going to have to take a couple of days off work!

Now I LOVE to play with my nipples; I love others to play with them too. Hell I’ve even been known to stand close to the only other person on the elevator just to rub them against someone. (I’m very popular in my apartment building!)

I’ve always wanted to try some nipple clamps, but I never got around to purchasing a pair. Imagine my delight when I got this set of Weighted Nipple Clamps to review.

I took a look at the packaging. I scratched my head in disbelief as I looked at the buxom lady model on the insert. I can easily see how these Weighted Nipple Clamps would work on someone with her endowments. But as I looked south, to my own chest, I wondered how in the world were they going to work on me. And get this; they are advertised as “Fully Adjustable, Non-Tarnishing, Weighted Jewelry”. Jewelry, really? I mean, who considers these jewelry? I wonder what my mom would think if she got these for an anniversary present? OK, I suppose everyone has a different notion about what constitutes bodily ornaments.

At any rate, with just the slightest trepidation I shucked my shirt and began to fiddle with the Weighted Nipple Clamps to see how they worked. The clamps are metallic with plastic coatings on the clamp ends. The clamps have setscrews that allow you to adjust the tension of the clamp. The two clamps are connected by a chain and the weight is connected to the middle via another chain that hangs down about 6 inches.

I didn’t want to start off in too much pressure, so I adjusted the setscrews out quite a bit and attached the clams to my nipples while I was lying down on the bed. The pressure was very nice and I immediately started to get a rise a bit further south! Thinking that I’d like to add a bit of tug to the pressure, I slowly stood up and let the weight start to pull on my nipples.

Given that I am not as endowed in the nipple department as the full-figured female model on the package, the tension of the clamps on my nipples was quickly overcome by gravity and the weight pulled the clamps from my nips and the whole thing fell on my toe! OUCH! Did I mention the weight is not insignificant? So after hopping around for moment and using a couple of expletives that caused the cat to run from the room I decided to give it another go. I adjusted the setscrews for a tighter fit and reapplied the clamps. This time the weight held for a bit longer before the clips slipped off my nipples. I couldn’t seem to get the pressure right. If the Weighted Nipple Clamps was tight enough to support the weight then they were way too tight on my nipples. And if the clamps were pleasurably tight on my nipples; then look out feet!
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

SEO Powered by Platinum SEO from Techblissonline
Get Adobe Flash player