Tag: Sexual Health

Posted on

5 Ways to Have Healthy Sex When You Have Diabetes

— Here’s how to continue enjoying intimacy

By Mauricio González

Age and the passage of time usher in many changes. But in all my years practicing medicine, one thing remains a constant: My patients want to continue having a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life, even if they’re dealing with health problems or chronic illness. One disease that can take a heavy toll on a couple’s sex life is diabetes. Fortunately, there are ways to manage it and reignite your sex drive. Don’t despair! Here’s how you can do it.

The role of glucose in your sex life

People with diabetes are more prone to sexual dysfunction than the rest of the population, according to the American Diabetes Association (ADA). Both men and women may experience little or no sex drive due to poor management of their diabetes. But only 47 percent of men and 19 percent of women with diabetes discuss this issue with their doctors, according to a study published by Diabetes Care. Controlling blood sugar levels with medication and regularly monitoring these levels is essential to maintaining a healthy sex life.

But even if blood sugar is kept under control, men and women with diabetes may feel sexual desire but have difficulty becoming physically aroused.

And a failure to control blood sugar will eventually lead to blood vessel and nerve damage, which can prevent arousal.

How does diabetes affect your sex life?

There are many reasons why people with diabetes lose their sex drive or their ability to orgasm. Obesity, high blood pressure, sleep apnea and depression are conditions that often accompany diabetes and can compromise your libido. Some of the medications used to treat these conditions can also adversely affect your sex life. Some treatments for high blood pressure, for instance, can cause erectile dysfunction.

According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, the sexual disorders of patients with type 1 diabetes are directly linked to depression and are less severe in those who accept their diabetes. These disorders also affect men more than women, and they take a greater toll on patients with blood glucose levels above 6.5 percent.

Erectile dysfunction in men with diabetes

If a man’s blood vessels don’t function properly or he has a blocked artery, his penis will not receive enough blood flow to get an erection. Men over 50 with type 2 diabetes are 11 times more likely to experience erectile dysfunction than younger men, according to a study published in the Caspian Journal of Internal Medicine.

Men with diabetes-related erectile dysfunction are also at greater risk of developing Peyronie’s disease, where a type of scar tissue known as plaque forms under the skin of the penis. This causes a curvature that can make erections painful, difficult or impossible.

Sexual problems in women with diabetes

Nerve damage in women can cause vaginal dryness, a condition that is not unique to people with diabetes but, according to the ADA, is twice as common in this population. The neurovascular system plays a necessary role in arousal and orgasm. If the small nerves aren’t working properly due to damage from poorly controlled blood sugar, a woman can have sensation problems. The clitoris needs optimal blood flow and sensation to become engorged enough to achieve orgasm.

Women with diabetes are also at greater risk of urinary tract and vaginal infections, which can make sexual intercourse painful and unpleasurable. Middle-aged women with diabetes who take insulin are 80 percent more likely to have difficulty reaching orgasm than women without diabetes, according to a study published in Obstetrics & Gynecology.

How can you maintain a healthy sex life?

Here are some practical suggestions that anyone can follow:

1. Eat right

Eating healthy can make all the difference. Non-starchy vegetables, such as broccoli and carrots, and whole grains can help stabilize your blood sugar and give you the energy you need to have sex. These foods are also rich in fiber and nourish your gut microbiome — the bacteria and other organisms that keep your gut healthy. A snack before sex will help boost your stamina and keep your blood sugar under control.

2. Exercise

Sex, like any other form of exercise, requires energy. So how can you be prepared? Activities such as weightlifting and Zumba classes can help you build stamina and have more energy in bed. I recommend at least 150 minutes of exercise per week, which can include walking, swimming or even gardening. Exercise also makes the body more sensitive to insulin, which helps it control insulin levels more efficiently.

3. Take your medications

Strictly follow your doctor’s instructions and make sure you take your medications. If you have diabetes, controlling your blood sugar starts with taking your prescriptions. Talk with your doctor if you suspect that a medication prescribed to treat other conditions may be interfering with your sex life, so that you can work together to look for alternatives. I also recommend buying a weekly pill organizer, which has been shown to help increase compliance with medical treatment.

4. Manage stress

Learning that you have diabetes can be upsetting and can affect your mental health. Learn how to calm your mind and body in stressful moments, such as during a sexual encounter. Brush away negative thoughts. Be grateful for — and focus on — enjoyable moments. Meditation can be very helpful. Research shows that meditation may strengthen the parts of the brain that help you remain calmer in stressful situations. But my favorite tool for reducing stress and anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy; check with your doctor to see if this is a good option for you.

5. Be consistent

Consistency is a bridge between dreams and reality. Follow these suggestions daily. Take it gradually at first. Don’t reach for gimmicky or drastic solutions; just stick to the basics and you’ll get results, especially over time. Remember that the key is consistency, not perfection.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Posted on

Virginity

Virginity is a very touchy issue in just about every culture on the globe. Curiously enough, it’s almost always exclusively about female virginity. This sad double standard gives rise to emotional conflicts for both genders. But again, it is young women and girls who bear the brunt of it.

Let’s begin with Katelyn who’s 18 years old:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We’ve just started talking about having sex even though we both took a virginity pledge through our church. We love each other very much and plan on getting married in a couple of years. If we are practically engaged do you think having sex now would be like breaking our promise?

I’m pretty sure that the creators of all those “abstinence only” and “virginity pledge” programs out there like to think they’re keeping kids like you safe from the unforeseen consequences of sex. I’d probably have less of a problem with them if they didn’t have at their base some pretty rank scare tactics.

Scaring people away from sex is a time-honored means of controlling people.

If you have sex, you well surely get a disease!

If you have sex, you will surely get pregnant!

If you have sex, you will be breaking the commandments and you’ll go to hell!

If you have sex, you will be a slut and no one will want to marry you!

And my all-time favorite: If he gets the milk for free, why would he buy the cow?

Full-On Fucking

These sex-negative messages only frighten, intimidate and instill guilt. They certainly don’t teach people how to behave knowledgably and responsibly. And they do absolutely nothing to prepare even those who wind up honoring their pledge of abstinence for the inevitable sex life they’ll have later in life. And that to me is criminal. Young people have a natural, healthy curiosity about their bodies and the bodies of others. Stifling this natural curiosity with veiled threats and fear-mongering does very little good—and a whole lot of harm.

But before I respond to your question, I have a question for you. I hope you’re not actually thinking I might help you rationalize away your impending behavior—Oh sure honey, if you’re gonna marry the lug anyway, why not give it up now?—because I won’t go there. Have the courage to make up your own mind. If you’re old enough to be considering sex, you’re old enough to take responsibility for your actions.

If you abstain from sex out of fear or religious duress, then where’s the virtue in that? It’s just as bad as having sex because you fear losing your boyfriend. Neither option suggests to me that you are behaving knowledgeably and responsibly.

Of course, it’s always easier to decide on a course of action when one has all the information. And that’s where I can be of some assistance. I’m not gonna tell you what you oughta do, but I can offer you some timely information about human sexuality that you apparently aren’t getting from your family, church or your community.

There are many sexual alternatives to full-on fucking. And if you want to remain a virgin, at least technically speaking, you might want to explore these options.

Are you both masturbating? If not, then that’s a good place to begin. You should both be familiar with your own pleasure zones and sexual response cycle before you launch into partnered sex of any kind. I believe that the best sex is mutual sex, where the partners knowingly and without reservation gift themselves to one another. And I don’t see how that’s possible unless you are well-acquainted with the gift…your own body.

I can guarantee that your boyfriend won’t know how to pleasure you, especially if he’s still discovering the pleasures of his own body. And you’d be a very remarkable young woman if you understood the mysteries of male sexuality. So if you’re both unversed in the joys of human sexuality, why not discover them together? Mutual masturbation—as well as oral sex—will help you appreciate the particulars and uniqueness of each of your sexual response cycles. And just think how far ahead you’ll be when you guys actually decide it’s time for full-on fucking. You’ll already know how your bodies work.

Even so, the two of you should be familiar with several different means of birth control—and practicing at least two methods. This is a precaution because, in the heat of the moment, you may decide to escalate things to include vaginal penetration. And if you do, you’ll be prepared. Always have water-based lubricants on hand, even for masturbation. These lubricants work very well with latex condoms. Oil lubricants, like petroleum jelly, baby oil or cooking oil, can cause latex condoms to break. So stay away from them.

I realize that procuring all this stuff is gonna be a challenge for young folks like you. But don’t just blow them off just because they’re not readily available to you. This is a big part of being knowledgeable and responsible about your sexuality. If you’re not prepared to go the distance in terms of preparation, you’re not ready to have sex.

Young men and boys have their share of trepidation about impending partnered sex. Here’s 18-year-old Tabor.

I feel kinda silly asking a complete stranger this, but here goes. I’m a pretty normal 18 year old. I’ve had a few girlfriends over the years, nothing really serious, though. Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of this one girl; she’s 20, a junior at my school. I really like her and we’re discussing taking our friendship to the next level, but there’s a problem. I’m a virgin. My girlfriend is way more experienced than me and that makes me a little nervous too. She wants me to decide when the time is right. My question is how will I know when I’m ready for sex?

I have a question for you, Tabor, and I hope it doesn’t sound flippant. When do you know it’s time to eat, or sleep? I know many of us eat even when we’re not hungry and sometimes we don’t sleep even when we’re tired. That aside, I suggest that the same bodily signals that alert you to hunger and exhaustion will let you know when it’s time for sex. You’ll want to have sex when you feel the desire to be sexual. I’m not trying to be evasive; I’m trying to get you to listen to your body, because that’s how you’ll know. To be perfectly frank, that’s how all of us know it’s time for sex. We get a hankerin’ for some pleasure and we pursue that till we’re satisfied. Sometimes that’s solo sex and sometimes it’s partnered sex.

If I were to advise you further I’d want to know how much sex you’ve already had with your GF. Has there been any sex play at all? Probably some, right? Otherwise how would you know you like her well enough to consider taking things to the next level?

Penis/vagina intercourse, or as I like to call it, “fucking,” can bring more intimacy and more pleasure than other forms of sex, but it’s not the be-all end-all either. Fucking also carries far more responsibility, particularly for fertile young puppies like you and your honey.

Is it safe to assume that you are well-versed in the complexities of the human reproductive system? I hope so. Not everyone is, of course, even some otherwise smart people. If you’re not clear on the whole concept, there’s no time like the present to do a little boning up, so to speak. Being responsible about sex is as important as being sexual. And being informed about health risks and contraception is the beginning of taking responsibility for your sexual activity.

Remember what I said earlier—that you’ll want to have sex when your body says so? Well, if you take the time to prepare now, you’ll not need to interrupt the moment when your body tells you I’m ready! You should discuss birth control with your girlfriend in advance of any foolin’ around. You should have condoms and lube available. Don’t expect that you’ll have your wits about you when your dick is hard. Remember, you’re not the one who’ll get pregnant if ya’ll screw up. I’ll bet your sweetheart will be impressed with your forethought, too.

Remember, even if your girlfriend is on the pill or has a diaphragm; condoms are a must. One in every ten sexually active teens carries one or more STDs or as we call them nowadays, STIs (sexually transmitted infections). You can consider dropping the condoms only when you’re in an exclusive relationship.

Good luck!

Posted on

How Alcohol Can Affect Your Sex Life

─ Time To Give It Up To Get It Up?

By Nina Smith

Alcohol has long had a close relationship with sex, from wild nights out meeting someone for the first time, to romantic evenings in with a glass of wine. But there is a boundary and alcohol can cause significant problems for a person’s sex life, particularly if their relationship with alcohol itself has become problematic.

But how exactly does alcohol affect our sex life? From relationships to performance, we run down what impact it may be having on you…

Alcohol and Sexual Performance

Although alcohol is often perceived as a social lubricant, its effects on sexual performance can be contradictory. While a small amount of alcohol may help lower inhibitions and increase confidence, excessive consumption can lead to a range of sexual problems as many studies have shown. In men, alcohol can affect erectile function, delay ejaculation, and reduce sexual desire.

For women, it can lead to decreased lubrication, diminished sensitivity, and difficulty achieving orgasm. Furthermore, chronic alcohol abuse may contribute to long-term sexual dysfunction, impacting both physical and psychological aspects of intimacy.

Relationships and Communication

Alcohol misuse can strain relationships and hinder effective communication between partners. Intoxication can lead to impaired judgment, altered perceptions, and decreased sensitivity to emotional cues, resulting in miscommunication and misunderstandings.

Alcohol-induced aggression or emotional instability may escalate conflicts, eroding trust and emotional intimacy within a relationship. Addressing these issues requires open and honest dialogue, seeking professional help when necessary, and creating a supportive environment for recovery.

The Role of Addiction

Addiction to alcohol presents a grave threat to one’s sex life and overall well-being. Alcohol addiction is a chronic disease and the presence of it intensifies the negative effects alcohol can have on sexual health.

Addiction often leads to neglect of personal relationships and increased secrecy, potentially driving a wedge between partners. Furthermore, substance abuse disorders can contribute to psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, all of which can further exacerbate sexual dysfunction.

Seeking Help and Recovery

Recognizing the impact of alcohol on one’s sex life and acknowledging that alcohol guidance and possibly seeking advice from a mental health clinic London is required in order to get it back on track, as well as your own overall health. Professional guidance and support from healthcare providers, therapists, or support groups play a vital role in addressing alcohol-related sexual issues.

Treatment options for alcohol addiction typically involve a combination of medical interventions, counseling, and behavioral therapies. These approaches aim to help individuals break free from the cycle of addiction, restore physical and mental well-being, and improve sexual health.

For those who feel they aren’t suffering from addiction but feel like the substance could be harming their sex life, it is also worth considering the following…

  • Moderate alcohol consumption ─ Limiting alcohol intake can help maintain sexual function and enjoyment. Being mindful of one’s alcohol consumption and setting boundaries can prevent a negative impact on sexual performance.
  • Open communication ─ Honest conversations with your partner about sexual concerns and the impact of alcohol can foster understanding and create an environment of support and empathy.
  • Seek professional help ─ If alcohol-related sexual problems persist or are linked to addiction, seeking professional assistance from healthcare providers or therapists can provide valuable guidance and support for both individuals and couples.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Posted on

Can You Be Addicted To Love?

— Here’s What We Know

Being ‘hooked’ on love can cause unhealthy relationship patterns and obsessive thoughts

When you hear the term ”love addiction,” you may think of a storybook character who gulps down a pink, sparkly love potion and suddenly finds themselves instantly infatuated with someone.

In most cases, the spell or potion doesn’t last long, and these folktales leave us with a cautionary message: Love, in excess, can become harmful. Rather than be consumed, it’s better to strive for a healthy, balanced relationship where love is reciprocated.

In real life, we navigate love in different ways by going on dating apps, managing the odds of being ghosted or dodging love bombs. But can a passion for someone else actually become addictive? While there’s no definitive research on this topic, psychologists do point out that love — or the pursuit of it — can be the root of other issues like anxiety, depression and unhealthy relationship patterns.

In other words, if you feel like love can make you obsessive, you’re not alone. Real-life love can be complicated stuff — and it’s never as simple as waiting for the love potion to wear off.

Postdoctoral psychology fellow Gina Gerardo, PhD, talks us through “love addiction” and how you can strengthen your relationship with love.

What is love addiction?

There’s no precise definition for love addiction because it’s not an actual condition as much as it is an abstract concept. After all, you can’t really test love in a lab and see how someone reacts.

But as some research has explored, you can make note of how relationships affect our lives, both physically and mentally. A 2023 review described love addiction — sometimes called relationship addiction or obsessive love disorder — as an overwhelming and compulsive longing for love, attention and affection from others.

It can look like developing feelings toward specific people in an unhealthy or extreme way, or as constantly seeking out romantic partners.

While love addiction isn’t an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), Dr. Gerardo points out that the term can help define certain relationship problems or emotional issues you could experience.

“If someone finds that love is becoming particularly distressing or disruptive to their lives, it’s worth asking more about it and potentially treating,” she explains. That means while you might never get a diagnosis for love addiction, you can treat the associated behaviors.

In fact, love addiction may not always come across with the behaviors typically associated with addiction. It can also go hand-in-hand with a mood disorder, an obsessive-compulsive disorder or even an impulse-control disorder.

Signs and symptoms of love addiction

If you’re a fan of love songs and romance novels, you may have an idea in your head of the symptoms of love addiction: Feeling empty when the person isn’t there, having to be in touch with the person constantly, having an overwhelming physical reaction when the person is in the room.

And, according to the current research, that’s not too far off.

“One distinction from other types of addictions is that there’s a love object,” clarifies Dr. Gerardo. “As opposed to a substance that people feel is addictive or find that they are dependent on, this would be an object, whether that’s a person or something else, they start to become obsessed with.”

For example, a 2023 study examined how love addiction and unhealthy attachments between adults can lead to intense negative emotions and feelings of low self-worth.

Another study from 2010 study found similarities between extreme passion and substance dependence — from feelings of euphoria when near one’s love object to a negative mood and sleep disturbances when separated.

Symptoms of love addiction can include:

  • Obsessive thoughts. Feeling constantly preoccupied with thoughts of love and romance or the object of your affection. This becomes obsessive when it’s challenging to focus on other aspects of your life.
  • Fear of abandonment. An intense fear of being alone or abandoned, leading to clinging behavior and a constant need for reassurance. You may also experience a sort of “withdrawal” or intrusive thoughts when the significant other isn’t around.
  • Unhealthy relationship patterns. Repeating cycles of intense, short-lived relationships or staying in toxic relationships despite obvious red flags.
  • Neglecting self-care. Prioritizing the needs and desires of the partner over personal well-being and neglecting your own goals, interests and needs.
  • Emotional turmoil. Experiencing highs and lows depending on the state of the current relationship. “You may feel a euphoric feeling that is more than what is normally experienced in romantic relationships,” says Dr. Gerardo.

How love addiction impacts your well-being

When it comes to matters of the heart, it can be difficult to recognize when the love in your life is doing more harm than good.

While symptoms of love addiction can weave into other mental health disorders, they can also magnify existing problems. Some mental health issues associated with love addiction include:

Dr. Gerardo also warns of love addiction affecting your day-to-day life.

“If it’s harming your other relationships with friends and family or if it’s keeping you from other responsibilities like work, taking care of children, keeping up with bills or medical appointments, that’s a sign that there could be a problem,” she says.

How to get help

When dealing with love addiction, you might consider quitting cold turkey, swearing off love and moving to the woods alone. But just like other addictions, an obsessive need for love should be treated with care.

Plus, love is something that’s very important to make us feel fulfilled in our lives. Rather than trying to let it go completely, you can work to find a healthy balance.

Some coping strategies that Dr. Gerardo suggests include:

Open communication

As symptoms of love addiction will usually involve another person, communication is key when it comes to resolving any issues you may be having. You might realize that you’ve been avoiding communicating because of fear or anxiety — but having an open dialogue about your feelings can ultimately bring clarity to your relationship.

“This includes communication with the partner, with yourself and even with friends and family before entering a relationship,” explains Dr. Gerardo.

Specifically with a partner, it’s good to be honest with some of the complicated feelings you’ve been having. This can help you feel more open about what you’re feeling and can clue them into what you might be working through and why.

For example, maybe to deal with feelings of love addiction, you decide to spend more time alone. Communicating this change in your behavior with your partner so they know what your motivations are can help maintain a healthy bond. And if you’re having trouble putting your emotions into words, couples counseling can also be a good option.

Seek other perspectives

One common red flag of any relationship — romantic or otherwise — is if it puts blinders on you from the rest of the world. When this happens, it can be hard to notice any problems or toxic behaviors. Dr. Gerardo recommends popping this “love bubble” by seeking out people in your life to get their points of view.

“If your friends and family notice that these problems are persisting for a long period of time and are getting in the way of all your normal responsibilities and behaviors, then that would be a cue to pump the brakes and communicate your needs with your partner,” she says.

Therapy and counseling

Individual or group therapy can help address underlying issues and learn healthier relationship patterns.

If you feel like love addiction might be affecting your personal health or the health of your relationship, talking with a therapist can help you work through your concerns. A session with a couples counselor or some other kind of group therapy can also help get you and your partner to a healthier and more balanced place.

The bottom line

An addiction to love can definitely have an effect on your well-being. If you find yourself completely engrossed by someone and something to the point that it’s affecting how you eat, sleep or react to stressful situations, it might be time to assess your relationship with love. With focus, outside perspectives and counseling, there are ways to find peace with feelings of love and turn them into a more positive force in your life.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Posted on

What to Know About the Sexual Side Effects of Antidepressants

— S.S.R.I.s, the most widely prescribed antidepressants, frequently cause sexual problems. Here’s what patients can do about it.

By Azeen Ghorayshi

Antidepressants have long been among the most widely prescribed drugs in the U.S. Their popularity only grew at the start of the coronavirus pandemic, when many people struggled with depression and anxiety. Some surveys have found a striking rise among adolescents, particularly teenage girls.

For many people, the drugs can be lifesaving or can drastically improve their quality of life.

But many of the most popular antidepressants, known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or S.S.R.I.s, come with sexual side effects. In many cases, the problems caused by the medications can be managed. Here’s what patients should know.

A wide variety of symptoms has been reported.

More than half of patients who take S.S.R.I.s report some problems having sex. They include low levels of sexual desire or arousal, erectile dysfunction, pleasureless or painful orgasms and loss of genital sensitivity.

Many people also report emotional blunting after taking S.S.R.I.s. This may make negative feelings less painful but also make positive feelings less pleasurable.

Don’t be shy about talking to a doctor.

When S.S.R.I.s went on the market in the late 1980s, patients began telling their psychiatrists that they were having sexual problems. Initially, doctors were perplexed: As far as they knew, older antidepressants had never come with these issues. But they had been wrong.

“Only in going back and looking more carefully and gathering more data did we realize that actually those serotonergic drugs, the older ones, also caused sexual dysfunction,” said Dr. Jonathan Alpert, head of the American Psychiatric Association’s research council. Doctors and patients just hadn’t been talking about it, he said.

As S.S.R.I.s boomed in popularity, and social stigmas about discussions of sex eased, researchers began documenting the problem in the scientific literature. But some patients found it easier to talk about than others did. Men were much more likely to report sexual side effects to their doctors than women were, even though women are almost twice as likely to be prescribed antidepressants.

“The charitable interpretation is that we simply have more treatments available for male patients, and so doctors are more likely to ask after things that they feel they can actually help with,” said Tierney Lorenz, a psychologist at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln who has studied antidepressant-induced sexual dysfunction in women. “The significantly less charitable interpretation is that we still live in a very sexist society that doesn’t believe that women should have sexual interest.”

Doctors may first recommend waiting it out.

For some people, the sexual side effects of S.S.R.I.s will show up almost immediately after starting the medications and then resolve on their own. So doctors may suggest waiting four to six months to see whether the patient adjusts to the drugs and the most distressing sexual effects subside.

But the odds of spontaneous resolution of sexual side effects are low, happening in an estimated 10 to 20 percent of patients who report the symptoms.

Other medications, including other antidepressants, can help.

One common way to manage sexual side effects is to try another S.S.R.I. Research suggests that certain drugs, such as Zoloft and Celexa, come with a higher likelihood of causing sexual problems. Switching drugs, however, means enduring a trial-and-error period to try to find what works.

If a patient is otherwise doing well on an S.S.R.I., a doctor may be hesitant to drastically change the drug regimen. Instead, the doctor might recommend adding an additional drug to the mix that could help counteract the sexual side effects.

For example, adding the non-S.S.R.I. antidepressant Wellbutrin, which acts on norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain, has been shown to diminish sexual symptoms in many patients, Dr. Alpert said.

For erectile dysfunction, doctors may also suggest adding phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitors like Viagra, which acts on the vascular system, he said.

‘Drug holidays’ can help. But be careful.

Another approach that should be used cautiously and under the close supervision of a physician is temporarily stopping the S.S.R.I. or lowering the dose for 24 to 48 hours before having sex.

But for many patients, this isn’t an ideal solution. Planning ahead can be annoying. And withdrawal from S.S.R.I.s can immediately cause other unpleasant symptoms, including dizziness, nausea, insomnia and anxiety. Some doctors are concerned that frequent use of drug holidays may make patients more likely to discontinue the medications altogether, which could lead to worsening mental health problems.

In rare cases, sex problems can persist after stopping the drugs.

A small but vocal group of patients is speaking out about sexual problems that have endured even after they stopped taking S.S.R.I.s. Some have reported low libido and numb genitals persisting for many years.

Though studies are scarce, the risk appears to be low. A recent study estimated that about one in 216 men who discontinued S.S.R.I.s were subsequently prescribed medications for erectile dysfunction, a rate at least three times as high as that among the general population.

But diagnosing this condition is tricky, in part because depression itself can dull sexual responses. Among unmedicated men with depression, 40 percent report a loss of sexual arousal and desire, and 20 percent struggle to reach orgasm.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Posted on

Sex and the Aging Male

I’m receiving a startling number of correspondences lately from older men and their partners, highlighting the sexual difficulties of the aging process. It’s not surprising that these people are noticing the changes in their sexual response cycle as they age, but it is astonishing that they haven’t attributed the changes to andropause.

A Little Frustrated

Dr Dick,
I’m a 54-year-old man, who three years ago managed to finally come out and live the life I so desperately longed for all my life. My question: Is there a biological clock in men like women have to deal with in menopause? During the last years of my marriage, there was no sex life—other than with myself. Now I’m living a fantastic life, with a great man whom I love very much. I know there is more to life than sex, but now that I’m finally able to express myself physically with a ma, I am unable to perform—and not for lack of trying!

I tried Viagra a few years ago. It used to work maintaining an erection, but it was just by myself, and I always had fun. But the side effects—headaches and discomfort—made me wonder, “Do I really want to take this stuff?” But now, even the meds don’t help, and as for my libido, it suffers due to my lack of ability.

I’ve been tested for testosterone levels, and they say I’m right where I should be at for my age. I’ve seen two doctors about the issue, and when they find out my partner’s sex, they don’t want to deal with it, and seem to just pass it off as an age thing. (BTW: I’m in fairly decent shape; I exercise three to four days a week at the gym.) Can you send me any advice on a path to take?
—A Little Frustrated

A little frustrated? Holy cow, darlin’, you sound a lot frustrated—and rightfully so! You finally find what’s been missing your whole life, only to discover that your plumbing is now giving out on you. Ain’t that a bitch!

And before I continue, I want to tell you and all the other alternative lifestyle people in my audience: Don’t settle for a sex-negative physician—no matter what. Find yourself a sex-positive doctor who will look beyond your choice of partner; someone who will give you the respect you deserve!

Andropause

You raise an interesting question about the aging process when you ask if men experience something similar to menopause in women. The short answer is—you betcha! In fact, it even has a name: andropause. It’s only been recently that the medical industry has started to pay attention to the impact that changing hormonal levels have on the male mind and body. Most often andropause is misdiagnosed as depression and treated with an antidepressant. WRONG!

All men experience a decrease in testosterone, the “male” hormone, as they age. This decline is gradual, often spanning 10 to 15 years. While the gradual decrease of testosterone does not display the profound effects that menopause does, the end results are similar.

And listen: When a physician says that your testosterone level falls within “an acceptable range,” he/she isn’t telling you much. Let’s just say you had an elevated level of testosterone all your life, ’til now. Let’s say that you now register on the lower end of “acceptable.” That would mean that you’ve had a significant loss in testosterone. But your doctor wouldn’t know that, because he/she has no baseline for your normal testosterone level.

There is no doubt that a man’s sexual response changes with advancing age and the decrease of testosterone. Sexual urges diminish, erections are harder to come by, they’re not as rigid, there’s less jizz shot with less oomph. And our refractory period (or interval) between erections is more elongated, too.

Andropausal men might want to consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). Just know that most medical professionals resist testosterone therapy. Some mistakenly link Testosterone Replacement Therapy with prostate cancer, even though recent evidence shows prostatic disease is estrogen-dependent rather than testosterone-dependent. I encourage you to be fully informed about TRT before you approach your new sex-positive doctor, because the best medicine is practiced collaboratively—by you and your doctor.

Finally, getting the lead back in your pencil, so to speak, may simply be an issue of taking more time with arousal play. Don’t expect to go from zero to 60 in a matter of seconds like you once did. Also, I suggest that you use a cock ring. But most of all, fuckin’ relax, why don’tcha already? Your anxiety is short-circuiting your wood, my friend. And only you can stop that.

Here’s Gwen, who reports on her husband’s condition:

Dr Dick, My husband and I have been married for 33 years. Our relationship is hell when it comes to sex. My husband is overweight, and he’s stressed out about his elderly parents. Sex is non-existent. He never was the instigator in our relationship. And he is the kind of guy who thinks having sex on the couch as opposed to the bedroom is adventuresome. He has become so boring. I don’t believe the man feels sex should be that important at our ages. (I’m 57 and he’s 62) I, on the other hand, am more sexually aroused and creative than ever now that I am more mature and the kids are out of the house. Menopause and all the sex on the Internet helps too. 😉 Is there anything I can do to make my man return to being a healthy sexual being once again? Thank you.

No—thank you, Gwen. Your complaint is a familiar one. So familiar, in fact, that I regularly offer therapy groups for couples in long-term relationships, like you and your old man, who have, for one reason or another, hit a wall when it comes to their sex lives.

I’m sad to say there’s not much you can do to beef up your sex life if there’s no interest on the part of your husband to do so. I mean, you can lead the horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. You confide that you husband is overweight and stressed; not a happy combination when it comes to his sexual response cycle, even if we don’t factor in his age. In fact, your husband sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen. Perhaps if your challenged him about his general health—encourage weight loss and stress reduction—you might find that it might also reignite his sex drive. It’s worth a try.

And thank you for mentioning menopause. So many women find the changes that take place in midlife confusing and disorientating. It’s so good to hear from someone eager to explore and enjoy her sexuality post-menopause.

It’s clear that as we age, both women and men need more time and stimulation to get aroused. The slower, more sensuous foreplay that often results is a welcome change for most women and even some men. Increased focus on sensuality, intimacy, and communication can help a sexual relationship remain rewarding even well into our most senior years. If your husband is avoiding intercourse, there still many ways of expressing your love and staying connected:

Hugging, cuddling, kissing
Touching, stroking, massage, sensual baths
Mutual masturbation and oral sex

However, if your husband is more wedded to food and to stress than he is to you, and if he continues to refuse to join you in finding an appropriate outlet for your sexual frustration, then it’s up to you to make this happen on your own. Age 57 is way too soon to say goodbye to your sex life.

May I suggest joining a women’s group? Not a therapy group, but more of a support group or activities group. Getting out of the house, involving yourself with other self-actualized mature women, may uncover the secret solutions other women have put in place to find sexual satisfaction when they are without a partner or have a partner who’s no longer interested in them. I think you will be surprised by how creative your sisters can be. Make it happen, Gwen. Don’t sink to the lowest common denominator of living a sexless life.

Good luck!

Posted on

Scheduling sex can help partners struggling to get intimate.

— If that’s stifling, try setting erotic time zones instead.

By Serafina Kenny

  • Some people don’t want to have sex as much as, or at the same times as, their partner.
  • Sexologist Shamyra Howard said “erotic time zones” have helped her clients.
  • Erotic time zones are times in the day when you’re more likely to initiate or say yes to sex.

Couples therapists often recommend partners schedule sex when they’re struggling to get it on, but sexologist Shamrya Howard said setting “erotic time zones” can be less restrictive and keep a bit of spontaneity alive.

An erotic time zone is a period of time when you are most likely to feel desire or want sex, according to Howard, a licensed clinical social worker and AASECT-certified sex therapist. They can be useful when partners don’t want sex at the same time, whether that’s because of work schedules or hormone cycles.

For example, if one person wants to have sex at 5pm, their partner might reject them if they tend to be more ready for sex at 11pm — so, telling each other when you are most likely to say yes to sex can help both parties know when’s a good time to initiate.

Plus, Howard said, knowing when your partner’s ETZ is gives you both a chance to flirt with each other “to keep each other warm, until it’s time to heat each other all the way up.” The more you flirt, the more aroused you’ll be, which makes sex better — especially if you have a clitoris, Howard said, because it increases blood flow to the genitals, making orgasm more likely.

Howard told Insider the best ways to establish erotic time zones, and how they can help to lubricate things in the bedroom.

Erotic time zones can help couples experiencing a ‘desire discrepancy’

A “desire discrepancy” is where partners seem to want different amounts of sex or at different times, meaning they have less sex than one or both of them wants, Howard said.

Problems can worsen when one partner tries to initiate sex but gets turned down, leading to feelings of rejection, which could make them less likely to try in future.

By increasing the likelihood of sex, Howard said, erotic time zones can help initiating partners feel less rejected, because they know when they’re more likely to get an enthusiastic yes.

The best way to set up an erotic time zone is to just talk about it

“Most couples don’t talk about sex enough,” Howard said, so she encourages clients to “use their mouths” (not in that way — just yet).

“Everyone has a different sexual recipe for their relationships — certain things that turn you on, the things you do in bed, ways you like to have sex together,” she said. She encourages her clients to talk about this “recipe” as often as possible, and to include an erotic time zone in that chat.

She said the best way to maintain an erotic time zone is to talk as often as you can, because the times you will want to have sex will change, often based on things going on in your life, your mood and stress levels, and your health.

For example, if your ETZ is normally 9 a.m. but you know you have early meetings at work one week, you might tell your partner that it’s best to back off before breakfast for a while.

An erotic time zone doesn’t mean automatic consent

Of course, Howard said, just because someone has indicated that they are more likely to want sex during their erotic time zone, it doesn’t mean that they will always want sex at that time, so initiators still need to look for enthusiastic consent even during an ETZ.

“An ETZ does not mean you are obligated to have sex or that you should expect sex. It is just a way to manage a desire discrepancy in your relationship, not to automatically guarantee sex at a certain time.

“You still need to ask your partner if they are in the right space for sex, and what type of sex too,” she said. Couples might have multiple different erotic time zones for when they are more likely to want to practice kinks, as well as an ETZ for more vanilla sex.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Posted on

Alcohol Might Be Ruining Your Orgasm

— How much and how often you drink can affect your ability to climax during sexual activity.

By Catherine Pearson

Emma Schmidt, a clinical sexologist in Cincinnati, has lost track of the number of clients she’s seen for low libido and problems orgasming after they’ve first visited a doctor who advised them to “Just relax and have a glass of wine.”

That type of suggestion is not just dismissive, Dr. Schmidt said, but it highlights the gaps in our collective understanding about the interplay between alcohol and sex.

After years of contradictory findings, recent research has made it clear that even moderate drinking poses risks to your overall health. But the question of how alcohol affects sexual health — specifically, orgasms — can be a bit fuzzier.

“Society has long depicted alcohol as a crucial ingredient for romantic encounters,” said Catalina Lawsin, a clinical psychologist who specializes in sexuality. She added that people often mix sex and alcohol because it relaxes them and offers a sense of escapism — and because of a widely held belief that alcohol “elevates sexual prowess and pleasure.”

But the reality, she said, is much more complex.

What happens when you mix alcohol and sex?

“Essentially, there’s no research,” said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine whose work focuses on sexual dysfunction in women.

The data that does exist — much of it from rat studies or small, qualitative investigations — suggests a pattern: Small amounts of alcohol seem to enhance arousal and decrease sexual inhibitions, Dr. Streicher said, but large amounts can suppress arousal and delay or prevent orgasm.

To understand why, it helps to look at the specific processes happening in your brain when you drink.

Alcohol releases dopamine, said Dr. Regina Krel, an assistant professor of neurology with Hackensack Meridian School of Medicine, who described it as “the feel good neurotransmitter.” Researchers believe it helps control desire.

At the same time, alcohol enhances the effects of gamma-aminobutyric acid, or GABA, a chemical messenger that inhibits impulses between nerve cells, essentially slowing the brain down and making a person feel more relaxed.

“It does make you think, ‘Oh, I feel hornier!’” because it lowers inhibitions, said Laurie Mintz, an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Florida who focuses on human sexuality. “But the irony is that, in fact, it’s a central nervous system depressant.”

That means that alcohol has a dampening effect throughout the brain, Dr. Krel said, including in the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for things like weighing consequences), the cerebellum (which controls coordination) and the autonomic nervous system (which regulates functions like heart rate and breathing).

Alcohol can hinder the brain’s ability to process sexual stimuli and coordinate muscle contractions, which are central to the orgasmic response, Dr. Lawsin added. “While it may contribute to relaxation and inhibition reduction initially, excessive consumption can interfere with the intricate processes that lead to the intense pleasure and satisfaction of orgasm.”

How much you drink matters.

The experts said that moderate drinking before having sex is usually OK. However, they also stressed that knowing whether alcohol will help lead to orgasm by reducing stress and inhibitions, or get in the way of orgasm by suppressing basic functions, has a lot to do with how often you drink and how much you drink on any given occasion.

Moderate drinking is usually defined in the United States as no more than two drinks a day for men or one drink a day for women. But the way alcohol affects you is determined by a host of factors, including genes, body size and composition, and your history with drinking.

Chronic, heavy use of alcohol has been linked to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation in men, Dr. Mintz said. Research has also connected alcohol consumption to sexual dysfunction (persistent problems with sexual response, desire and orgasm) in women.

“There isn’t a magic number of drinks that applies to everyone,” Dr. Lawsin said, adding that excessive alcohol use can hamper the connection between partners, as well as impair decision making and the ability to consent to sex.

How to find help with orgasm issues.

If you are experiencing anorgasmia (which is delayed or infrequent orgasms, or no orgasms at all), your first step should be to reach out to a primary care physician or sex therapist who can help determine the root cause or causes and connect you to the right type of specialist or treatment, Dr. Schmidt said.

There could be one or a number of underlying issues affecting your ability to orgasm, including certain health conditions or medications, relationship problems and trauma, as well as your alcohol consumption.

Many primary care doctors, and even some gynecologists and urologists, do not have a specific background in sex medicine, so it can help to ask if they do, she said, and if they have any experience working with patients with anorgasmia.

If alcohol seems to be hampering your orgasms, ask yourself how and why you use alcohol around sex, Dr. Schmidt said, noting that mental health professionals and sex therapists can be a valuable resource.

Do you often or always drink beforehand?

“If someone is using alcohol as a way to be able to have sex,” she said, “or if they feel scared, ashamed or vulnerable having sex without alcohol, then we might want to explore more.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Posted on

Why Sexual Health Matters

— An Essential Aspect of Overall Well-Being

By

Regarding our overall well-being, it is crucial not to overlook sexual health. While physical and mental health often take the spotlight, we must not underestimate the importance of sexual health in maintaining a fully functional life. It impacts our physical well-being and plays a significant role in emotional stability. Therefore, prioritizing this aspect of our well-being is essential. In this blog post, we will delve into how good sexual health contributes to a healthier lifestyle.

1. Contributes to Longevity

Good sexual health can remarkably contribute to longevity. Regular sexual activity has been linked to an extended lifespan, promoting physical health in many ways. It works as a form of exercise, burning calories, and strengthening muscles, and it can also boost the immune system, helping the body fend off illness and disease.

Furthermore, it stimulates the release of endorphins and other hormones with myriad health benefits, such as reducing stress, improving sleep, and enhancing heart health. The doctors at Atlanta Men’s Clinic usually recommend regular sexual activity for their patients, which can significantly contribute to a longer and healthier life. Testosterone therapy, a treatment for low testosterone levels, is also known to improve sexual health and overall well-being.

2. Enhances Emotional Connection

Sexual activity can foster a deep emotional connection, especially with an intimate partner. During sex, our bodies release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of bonding and trust. This strengthens the bond between partners and helps improve overall mental well-being.

Moreover, regular sexual activity can boost self-esteem and confidence, leading to a more positive outlook. For individuals struggling with mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, incorporating good sexual health practices can significantly impact their emotional well-being. It allows for a safe and intimate space to connect with another person, which can be incredibly therapeutic.

3. Prevents Sexual Dysfunction

Maintaining good sexual health plays a pivotal role in preventing sexual dysfunction. This is an umbrella term for conditions that prevent an individual from enjoying or participating in sexual activity. These conditions include erectile dysfunction, low libido, premature ejaculation among men, arousal disorders, orgasmic disorders, and sexual pain disorders among women.

Regular sexual activity can increase blood flow to the genitals, which can help prevent or alleviate erectile dysfunction. Moreover, maintaining a healthy lifestyle – incorporating exercise, balanced nutrition, adequate sleep, and reduced stress levels – can notably improve sexual performance and prevent dysfunction. Regular check-ups with medical professionals can also help identify and treat underlying issues.

4. Promotes Communication and Consent

Good sexual health practices also involve open and honest communication with sexual partners. Conversations about boundaries, desires, and consent can create a safe space for both individuals to express themselves freely. This not only leads to a more fulfilling sex life but also promotes healthy relationships.

Furthermore, being aware of one’s sexual health and practicing safe sex is crucial in preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Regular STI screenings, protection, and vaccination can significantly reduce the risk of contracting or spreading infections.

5. Promotes Heart Health

Sexual activity serves as a form of exercise that promotes heart health. During sexual activity, the heart rate rises, increasing blood circulation throughout the body, including the heart itself, thereby strengthening the cardiovascular system. It also helps lower blood pressure, a key factor in heart disease prevention.

In addition, engaging in sexual activity releases hormones like oxytocin and endorphins, which can effectively alleviate stress and anxiety, thereby promoting heart health. Given that stress and anxiety are recognized as risk factors for heart disease, reducing these factors can significantly lower the likelihood of developing cardiac problems. Therefore, incorporating regular sexual activity into a well-rounded lifestyle can play a vital role in maintaining a healthy heart.

6. Improves Sleep Quality

Sexual activity has been linked to improved sleep quality due to the release of certain hormones. Post orgasm, the body releases prolactin, a hormone that contributes to feelings of relaxation and sleepiness. Moreover, the previously mentioned oxytocin, also known as the ‘love hormone,’ fosters emotional bonding and promotes better sleep.

This is because oxytocin counteracts the effects of cortisol, the stress hormone, thus helping the body to relax and enabling more restful sleep. Additionally, the physical exertion associated with sexual activity can contribute to better sleep, as it can help tire the body out, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. Therefore, regular sexual activity can benefit good sleep hygiene, contributing to more restful and rejuvenating sleep.

Sexual health should not be overlooked when it comes to maintaining overall well-being. Incorporating good sexual health practices into our daily lives can improve physical, emotional, and relational well-being. Whether it is through regular sexual activity, communication, and consent with partners, or prioritizing medical check-ups, taking care of our sexual health can have a positive impact on our overall health and longevity. So, let us not underestimate the importance of sexual health and make it a priority in our self-care routines.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Posted on

Are Aphrodisiacs Worth Trying?

— A complementary approach to improving libido

By Anna Giorgi

Aphrodisiacs include food, drinks, or drugs used to increase your libido or sex drive. They may also improve your performance or increase your pleasure during sex.

While some substances can impact your body, research often fails to prove their effect on desire. Others can have harmful or even lethal results. It is also thought that the increased libido you feel from these items may be tied to the placebo effect rather than physical changes.1

This article describes why people use aphrodisiacs and whether there is proof they work. It also includes foods, herbs, and other items that are thought to affect sexual desire.

Reasons People Use Aphrodisiacs

The reasons people use aphrodisiacs vary by individual. Generally, people hope to make sex more enjoyable by increasing their sexual potency and performance.
The motives people have for using aphrodisiacs typically include the following:2

  • Increase libido: Low libido can cause a decreased desire and interest in sex. Your libido is affected by internal and external factors such as hormonal changes, aging, relationship problems, changes in physical conditions, medication side effects, and depression, among other issues. Research suggests that sexual dysfunction (problems that prevent a person from enjoying sexual activity) affects 43% of women and 31% of men.3
  • Extend potency and stamina: Potency and stamina can affect your ability to become and remain aroused during sex. Men may seek aphrodisiacs to counter issues such as erectile dysfunction (ED) (the inability to achieve or maintain a penile erection) and premature ejaculation (ejaculation during sex before satisfaction). For women, problems with potency and stamina may be linked to issues such as vaginal dryness or pelvic pain.3
  • Increase sexual pleasure: Even if libido and potency are not problems, people may seek to improve their sexual experience. Your brain and physical actions work together to lead to the orgasmic phase of sex. People may seek to enhance sexual pleasure by trying aphrodisiacs that promise to act on these triggers.4

    • Do “Natural” Aphrodisiacs Work?

    With all the hype that some substances carry, it’s common to wonder whether aphrodisiacs are real. Generally, most “natural” aphrodisiacs don’t work. According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), no supposed over-the-counter (OTC) aphrodisiac is scientifically proven to be effective at meeting its claims.5

    While there is often no sound scientific proof for using these substances, there is some anecdotal and historical evidence that some plant-based substances may impact arousing desires and improving sexual performance.6

    • Support the production of sex hormones
    • Improve blood flow
    • Activate neural pathways that support sexuality

    One of the biggest impacts of natural aphrodisiacs is their impact on your psychological state. While the benefits you achieve may be related to a placebo effect (an improvement in a subject’s condition that can’t be attributed to the treatment itself), anything that makes you feel more relaxed, calm, and confident about your sexuality will likely elevate your libido, performance, and experience.7< Additional natural ways to improve your libido and sexual satisfaction include the following strategies:

    • Participate in regular exercise: Research indicates that regular exercise may lower the risk of erectile dysfunction in men and increase sexual arousal in women.8
    • Eat a healthy diet: Growing evidence supports the role of diet in sexual function. General dietary principles that emphasize a plant-forward diet, such as the Mediterranean diet, can offer many benefits to mental and cardiometabolic health, which support all aspects of reproductive health.9
    • Manage stress: When stressed, your body releases the stress hormone cortisol, intended to be delivered in short bursts of energy to relieve stressors. Chronic stress can suppress sex hormones and lower your sex drive. Stress management techniques like meditation, deep breathing, mindfulness, and massage, can help you de-stress before intimacy and improve your experience.10

    Possible Side Effects

    While so-called natural aphrodisiacs may be viewed as safer than medications because they are readily available without a prescription, that is not always the case.

    The mechanisms of action of many aphrodisiacs can cause a wide range of possible side effects. In addition, the fact that they are not regulated increases the risk of aphrodisiacs being mislabeled, unstandardized, or produced with multiple ingredients whose effects may not be known.11

    Your side effects and the intensity at which they occur depend on many factors, such as other medications you may be taking. In a review of the pharmacology effects of herbal sexual enhancers, researchers reported that interactions of aphrodisiacs with other substances and herbal formulas represent these substances’ most significant health risks.1

    Researchers report that side effects of aphrodisiacs can include many problems, many of which may not be known due to the lack of research and the variety of substances used. These side effects include the following:1

    Aphrodisiac Foods

    Aphrodisiac foods vary by geographic location and culture. While many foods are touted as improving sexual desire and/or performance, most claims are not backed by science and may just help you feel better. However, there is evidence that the following foods may help your sex life:

    • Oysters: While research is lacking to support the belief that oysters promote sexual arousal, oysters are rich in zinc, an essential mineral for men’s health, normal sperm function, and fertilization. This is the basis for the thought that oysters are effective aphrodisiac foods for males. In biology, zinc deficiency is linked with sperm dysfunction, low testosterone levels, and male infertility.12 Raw oysters also contain D-aspartic acid and N-methyl, which have been linked to higher sex hormone levels in animals.13
    • Watermelon: While evidence is lacking on the impact of watermelon on human sex drives, watermelon flesh has had an aphrodisiac effect on male rats. Researchers said the findings support using watermelon flesh for increasing potency and countering ED in men. The impact may be tied to the citrulline amino acid, which helps increase circulation in your sex organs.14
    • Maca root: Maca root is the root of a cruciferous vegetable, which comes from the same family as broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower, and is rich in vitamin C, zinc, copper, and calcium. In one study, an increase in sexual desire was reported by half of all participants who consumed 3 grams of maca root for 12 weeks. Improvements in mood, energy, and health-related quality of life, which can promote a healthier sex life, were also reported.15
    • Apples: Apples are rich in quercetin, a type of flavonoid, a substance that has anticancer, antioxidant, antiviral, and anti-inflammatory properties. Research shows that quercetin can lower blood pressure, helping men avoid high blood pressure linked to erectile dysfunction.16 In one study, male participants with a higher fruit intake achieved a 14% reduction in erectile dysfunction, possibly due to their flavonoid content.17
    • Red wine: Research indicates that alcohol can increase sexual arousal in women. In one study, women who drank one to two glasses of red wine daily reported more sexual desire and better sexual function.18
    • Some meats: Certain high-protein foods like beef, chicken, and pork contain compounds that improve blood flow, a key element in sexual response among males and females. These compounds include L-carnitine, L-arginine , and zinc. Research indicates that arginine supplements significantly improved ED in participants who took these supplements vs. those who took placebo or no treatment.19

    Aphrodisiac Herbs

    The following herbs have been used as aphrodisiacs:

    • Ashwagandha: The Indian herbal remedy ashwagandha shows promise as a natural “female Viagra” (working like a drug prescribed to males for erectile dysfunction), based on the positive effects reported from studies of sexual dysfunction in both women and men. It is believed to have medicinal benefits in treating several conditions and as an aphrodisiac.20
    • Cannabis: Research indicates that cannabis has sexually stimulating effects. This herb can increase sexual desire and intensify sexual experiences for both men and women. It may also indirectly enhance sexual function by increasing relaxation and sensory focus. However, too much of it may inhibit sexual function and satisfaction.21
    • Fenugreek: Fenugreek is an annual plant whose seeds are used in South Asian cooking. It appears to contain compounds that your body can use to make the sex hormones estrogen and testosterone. In a small study that included women with low sex drives, participants who took a daily 600 milligram dose of fenugreek extract showed a significant increase in sexual arousal and desire in women.22
    • Ginseng: Ginseng is the root of a plant that is used as a dietary supplement, aphrodisiac, and in treatments in Chinese medicine. Ginseng is said to trigger the release of nitric oxide (NO), which promotes the dilation of blood vessels. This improves blood flow to the penis, improving an erection.23
    • Horny goat weed: Horny goat weed is a type of flowering plant used in traditional Chinese medicine. The results of animal studies indicate that this herb may have aphrodisiac properties by impacting hormone regulation and increasing blood flow to the penis.24
    • Chlorophytum borivliianum: Chlorophytum borivliianum can be useful for treating certain forms of sexual difficulties like premature ejaculation and oligospermia (low sperm count). Researchers attributed the observed effects to the testosterone-like effects of the extracts.25
    • Yohimbe: Yohimbe comes from the bark of certain trees that grow in India and Africa. In the United States, it is administered by prescription to treat sexual dysfunction. It is also included in some OTC supplements.

    However, whether over-the-counter Yohimbe products provide the same benefits as the prescription is uncertain. Research is lacking on whether its use as a dietary supplement is useful as an aphrodisiac. It has been linked with seizures and heart attacks.26

    Preparing Herbs

    Many herbs are consumed as a beverage after special preparation using an infusion or decoction technique. While an infusion is used for leaves, a decoction is usually reserved for harder herbs like roots, bark, and seeds. These brewing methods are performed using the following steps:27

    Infusion:

    1. Pour hot water over dried leaves, berries, or other plant matter.
    2. Wait to allow the matter to steep in the hot water (timing varies by ingredient).
    3. Remove the plant matter before drinking.

    Decoction:

    1. Grind or crush the root, bark, or seeds.
    2. Heat the required quantity of herbs with water for about 30 minutes, until about 50% of the water is lost.
    3. Remove the plant matter before drinking.

    Why Work With a Registered Herbalist?

    Herbs and other natural treatments are not regulated for content and quality the way drugs are in the United States. Working with a registered herbalist from the American Herbalist Guild can help you use these substances safely. Registered herbalists have completed professional training in the use of herbs and plants as aphrodisiacs and other treatments.

    Aphrodisiac Supplements

    The following natural substances are used are often used as aphrodisiac supplements:

    • Arginine: L-arginine is an amino acid that causes the dilation of tiny blood vessels and increases blood flow. In a study of men with ED and no underlying diseases, daily high doses of L-arginine caused improvement in sexual function.28
    • L-carnitine: L-carnitine is an amino acid present in many foods, especially those of animal origins like beef and chicken. Research shows that this substance may increase sperm maturation, sperm motility, and sperm production.29
    • Zinc: A study of 116 postmenopausal women with low zinc levels showed that zinc supplementation can improve testosterone levels and sexual function in postmenopausal women. Women who took zinc supplements reported improved sexual desire, arousal, satisfaction, vaginal moisture, orgasm, and less pain during intercourse vs. the control group.30

    Summary

    The use of aphrodisiacs involves a search for ways to increase sexual craving, performance, and pleasure that has lasted for thousands of years. While certain foods, herbs, and other products may affect the way you feel, most claims have little to no proof based on science.

    However, some products may have value. Those that work to increase blood flow may help improve blood flow to the genitals. This can be helpful for people who have problems with circulation.

    Other products may have value in the placebo effect. This can make you expect better sex and thereby achieve it.

    Consult your healthcare provider before using herbs or other new products. While these products may not have a big impact on your sex life, some can cause problems by mixing with prescribed drugs or other treatments.

    Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

    Posted on

    What is delayed ejaculation?

    — Here’s what you need to know about this little-talked about problem

    Delayed ejaculation has several possible causes, including certain prescription drugs and medical issues, like low testosterone.

    By Martha Kempner

    While guys who climax too quickly, like the high school teen who can’t even get his pants off before it’s all over, is a well-known issue, there’s a flip side to that problem: being able to go and go and go without reaching orgasm, a condition known as delayed ejaculation.

    There isn’t a lot of research on it, but a 2016 study estimated that between 1% and 4% of men experience delayed ejaculation all the time or when with a partner. The researchers also noted that it’s the “least studied and least understood of male sexual dysfunctions.”

    Delayed ejaculation is the inability to climax within a reasonable amount of time. What’s reasonable varies for each person, but some experts cite needing more than 30 minutes of sexual stimulation to reach orgasm as a sign of a problem. There’s no need to get out a stopwatch; the real test of whether this is an issue is how often it’s happening and how you and your partner feel about it.

    We rarely talk about men’s sexual health, and the feelings of failure that can come with not being able to climax mean we talk about this issue even less than others like premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. Ignoring it, however, may trap couples in a cycle of anxiety that ends with one or both partners deciding it’s better to avoid sex altogether than have this happen again. Spoiler alert: It’s not.

    Here are some ways to break that cycle.

    Talk to your partner

    Don’t let this become the elephant in the room — or in your bed. “Without talking about the issue, our minds are left to speculate and ruminate,” Ian Kerner, a sex therapist and author of She Comes First, tells Yahoo Life. “A partner may start to worry that maybe the person with DE is no longer attracted to them or is bored by the sex.”

    Communication is crucial, and Kerner notes that how we address these subjects matters. “When having these sorts of conversations, always begin with how you’re feeling and your own vulnerability,” he says. “Start with ‘Hey, I’ve been feeling anxious.’ Generally talking about the elephant in the room is a relief and gets you on the same team.”

    Rule out medical issues

    Medical issues known to cause delayed ejaculation include low testosterone, spinal cord injuries and certain infections. DE can also be a side effect of common prescription drugs, such as antidepressants and blood pressure medications. A new study found that DE is associated with more underlying health issues — both physical, such as testicular dysfunction, and emotional, such as anxiety — than premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

    Dr. Michael Eisenberg, a urologist at Stanford University, says that a health care provider can assess whether a medical problem is causing delayed ejaculation. “We will evaluate the timing of the condition, determine if it’s situational, assess hormones and determine underlying health conditions,” he tells Yahoo Life.

    Change your routine

    Delayed ejaculation can also be caused by desensitization of the penis. Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the UCLA Men’s Health Clinic, tells Yahoo Life that, like all other parts of our bodies, penises can lose sensitivity as we age. They can also get used to certain triggers: “The key to orgasm is friction,” Mills explains. “There’s no orifice as tight as a man’s own hand. If that’s what he’s used to, he may have sensitivity issues he has to overcome.”

    Masturbation is good for you, but if you suspect desensitization, consider cutting back, especially when you’re expecting to have partnered sex soon.

    Resetting your expectations can also help. Remember that penetrative sex isn’t everything. Just as many women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, you may need something more intense as well. Consider adding some sex toys, such as a prostate massager or a vibrating sleeve, which can amp up your orgasm. There’s also nothing wrong with finishing using your own hands while your partner curls up next to you.

    Find an expert

    If you are still having trouble finishing, it may be time to see an expert, whether that’s a sexual medicine doctor or a sex therapist.

    Mills is a member of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America, a group that includes urologists, gynecologists, neurologists and sex therapists. He says this is a great place to start, since the website can help you find providers in your area. The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists can also help you find a certified sex therapist near you. “Anybody that has specialized training and interest in sex can get the workup rolling,” he says.

    A sexual medicine expert can also help couples who are dealing with DE while they are trying to get pregnant. Eisenberg says there are medical ways to assist with ejaculation or sperm extraction, which can help couples separate fertility issues and sexual concerns.

    Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and relieve our stress, not cause it. If you’re having trouble reaching orgasm, talk to your partner and reach out to medical and mental health experts for help.

    Posted on

    Beyond Pleasure

    — How Intimate Gadgets Foster Deeper Connections

    By

    One of the most beautiful feelings in the world is sharing a deep connection with your partner. Intimacy is essential in love. To sustain intimacy in a long-term connection, it is important to keep the spark alive. One of the ways to achieve that is by adding intimate gadgets to the mix. 

    Intimate gadgets are a new way for couples to explore and improve their sexual experiences and deepen their connection. Right from visiting an adult toys shop to incorporating these in your intimate experiences, these aids can heighten sexual stimulation and improve sex life in general.

    How Intimate Gadgets Aid in Building Deeper Connections

    Aside from exploring new sexual horizons, these gadgets can also build trust and strengthen the bond between couples. You might ask, “How?” In this article, we will explore how these toys can help you and your partner develop a deeper connection. Let’s delve into them.

    1. More room for open communication

    Communication is the backbone of any successful relationship and is crucial for building a deeper connection between partners. Incorporating Intimate gadgets into sexual activities can open up new avenues for you and your partner to communicate about and be expressive.

    It can help you articulate your desires and preferences better and become more open to trying new things. Even when you’re physically away from your partners, you can still get intimate remotely. There are intimate gadgets that facilitate these remote interactions and experiences.

    2. Enhanced sexual well-being

    Intimate gadgets can help improve their sexual experience. Medical studies have shown that certain devices like vibrating rings, massage oil, or lubricants help with sexual stimulation. This is quite helpful for individuals with conditions that make sex uncomfortable or even painful because these conditions decrease sexual intimacy and connection between partners.

    In cases of erectile dysfunction or low libido, intimate gadgets can allow couples to try other methods and reignite their intimate lives. Intimate gadgets are also beneficial to individuals who have experienced sexual trauma or have difficulty reaching orgasm.

    They provide comfort and pleasure and can help to reclaim sexual autonomy and overcome the negative effects of such trauma. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy revealed that the use of vibrators improved sexual function and reduced sexual distress in women who had difficulty achieving orgasm.

    3. Emotional intimacy

    There is a popular belief that intimate gadgets weaken emotional connections, but this is far from the truth. In fact, studies have shown that they can increase emotional closeness between partners.

    Research has shown that the use of intimate gadgets can help partners to deeply understand and connect with each other. They help couples who use intimate gadgets experience higher levels of trust, openness, and vulnerability within their relationships.

    A study conducted by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University revealed that participants who used vibrators with their partners reported higher levels of intimacy, communication, and satisfaction in their relationships. This suggests that beyond the pleasure that these gadgets offer, they can help to strengthen intimate connections between partners. These devices act as a catalyst for partners to share their desires and insecurities.

    4. Rekindling lost intimacy

    Any relationship can experience a strain or lack of intimacy. New couples might still find it a bit awkward to talk about sex or sexual activities. Long-term relationships are more likely to experience strain due to factors like distance, stress, work, lack of trust due to previous experiences, and even financial responsibilities.

    Partners can rekindle lost intimacy with intimate gadgets. Adopting intimate gadgets in a bedroom provides a safe place that minimizes the awkwardness that may occur when it comes to sexual discussions and activities and promotes trust between partners. Discussing such sensitive experiences with your partner automatically increases the level of comfort in sharing certain fantasies and finding common ground.

    When the passion wanes, intimate toys can come in. It reinvigorates the passion between partners to promote maximum sexual satisfaction even in long-term relationships.

    5. Exploration

    One significant aspect of deepening intimacy is trying new things. Couples need to be vulnerable to explore and experiment with each other’s desires. Intimate gadgets can help couples discover new things about their bodies.

    They provide a safe environment for you and your partner to explore fantasies together, learn what excites your partner, and find ways to satisfy each other’s needs. Exploration provides knowledge, and when you know the sweet spots in your erogenous zones, you can reach orgasms far more easily. This improves sex in general.

    Now you can see that aside from their primary function of providing pleasure, intimate gadgets have the potential to foster deeper connections with your partners. They enhance relationships, improve communication, and promote sexual wellness. As technology continues to advance, it will be even more fascinating to see how intimate gadgets evolve and continue to play a role in fostering deeper and more meaningful connections between partners. The benefits of intimate gadgets when it comes to building a deeper romantic connection are not limited to heterosexual couples. These gadgets are inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

    Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

    Posted on

    Are You Adrift in a Sexless Relationship?

    — People in their 50s are having less sex than they’d like. Here’s how to turn things around

    By Ken Budd

    Steve Walsh and his wife, Linda (not their real names), last had sex in 2012. The Walshes married in 2003, raised three children in western Washington state and shared a deep Christian faith. Still, numerous challenges made their bedroom a no-sex zone. Linda survived breast cancer, but the medications lowered her libido. Steve also believes she suffers from undiagnosed depression. Over time their relationship deteriorated, and their sex life ended. The couple are now divorcing.

    Steve, 58, is nervous about dating yet eager to end 10 years of agonizing celibacy. “I want so badly to have that closeness with someone,” he says. “I dream about it.”

    A surprisingly high percentage of people in their 50s are living sexless lives — and the number is growing. In 2018, 20 percent of Americans ages 50 to 59 hadn’t had sex in the past year. By 2022, the number was 30 percent, according to data from the biannual General Social Survey (GSS), conducted by the University of Chicago’s National Opinion Research Center. How bad is that? The sexless rate was just under 10 percent for Americans ages 40 to 49 and around 12 percent for those 30 to 39.

    Even sexually active 50-somethings aren’t necessarily satisfied, according to a new AARP study called “Ageless Desire: Sex and Relationships in Middle Age and Beyond.” Forty-three percent of people in their 50s are not having sex as often as they wish they were, the survey found.

    Percentage of Americans 50–59 who aren’t having sex

    Women

    25% in 2016
    41% in 2022

    Men

    15% in 2016
    18% in 2022

    Although the COVID pandemic didn’t ignite this trend, it did accelerate it, says Nicholas H. Wolfinger, who studies the GSS data as a professor of family and consumer studies and adjunct professor of sociology at the University of Utah. Why might this be? Gen Xers are facing multiple mojo-reducing challenges, including sandwich-generation stress and fatigue. Physical changes due to menopause or health issues such as high blood pressure and diabetes can wreak havoc on the libido. Renée Yvonne, a certified sex counselor in Washington, D.C., who specializes in Gen Xers, once dated a man with a low sex drive due to a drug he was taking. “I felt embarrassed because we’re taught that all men want sex,” she recalls. “I thought something was wrong with me.”

    For singles, finding a partner in your 50s can feel like entering an alien universe. Just 23 percent of Americans in their 50s have ever used a dating website or app, and only 5 percent did so within the past year, according to a Pew Research Center study. “When we first started dating, there weren’t all of these apps,” Yvonne says. “Some people just say, ‘Why am I going through this?’ ”

    But there is hope. To rev up your sex life, consider this advice from medical and psychological experts.

    If your sex drive has diminished …

    Call the doctor. Get a physical, and make sure any chronic ailments are under control. Don’t be shy about mentioning your libido. Women can talk to the gynecologist about treatments such as vaginal estrogen. “Dryness is an easily reversible condition,” says Jen Gunter, an ob-gyn in San Francisco and author of The Menopause Manifesto.

    Lighten up. Being overweight can affect your sex drive physiologically and emotionally. Dissatisfaction with your looks “translates to low sexual self-esteem,” says Westchester County, New York, gynecologist Alyssa Dweck, chief medical officer with Bonafide Health and coauthor of The Complete A to Z for Your V.

    Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

    Posted on

    A New Way to Prevent S.T.I.s

    — A Pill After Sex

    By Apoorva Mandavilli

    In a bid to stem the resurgence of sexually transmitted infections, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention plans to recommend doxycycline, a widely used antibiotic, for use after an unprotected sexual encounter.

    The antibiotic would be taken only by gay and bisexual men and transgender women who have had an S.T.I. within the previous year or who may be at risk for one. The scientific evidence is too limited to recommend the strategy, called doxy-PEP, to all people who might be exposed to infection-causing bacteria during sex.

    The agency released draft guidelines on Monday and plans to finalize them after a 45-day public comment period.

    A close-up view of a bottle of the antibiotic doxycycline, held by a hand in a pharmacy.
    “We need game-changing innovations to turn the S.T.I. epidemic around, and this is a major step in the right direction,” an official with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said.

    Why It Matters: Rates of S.T.I.s are skyrocketing.

    In 2021, there were 1.6 million cases of chlamydia, more than 700,000 cases of gonorrhea and nearly 177,000 cases of syphilis in the United States, together tallying up to $1.1 billion in direct medical costs. (Rates of babies born with syphilis also soared that year, with nearly 3,000 affected.)

    All three S.T.I.s are caused by bacteria and are easily treated with antibiotics. But the closure of sexual health clinics across the country and a drop in public awareness has contributed to a sharp rise in infections.

    Gonorrhea cases have increased 118 percent since a historical low in 2009, according to the C.D.C. Syphilis was nearly eliminated in the United States about 20 years ago, but cases have risen 74 percent since 2017.

    On any given day in 2018, about one in five Americans had an S.T.I., the C.D.C. has estimated.

    “We need game-changing innovations to turn the S.T.I. epidemic around, and this is a major step in the right direction,” Dr. Jonathan Mermin, director of the agency’s National Center for H.I.V., Viral Hepatitis, S.T.D. and TB Prevention, said in an emailed statement.

    The C.D.C.’s guidelines are based on studies that show that a single dose of doxycycline taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex dramatically cuts the risk of the infections.

    Evidence from emerging research was compelling enough that clinics in some cities, such as San Francisco, have been offering doxy-PEP to those at high risk of infection for months. Generally, patients are given a supply of pills and told to take one within three days of an encounter during which they might have become infected.

    But rates of S.T.I.s are highest among Black people and Native Americans, who are often those with the least access to health care. “No prevention tool — no matter how powerful — will change the S.T.I. epidemic if it doesn’t reach the people who need it most,” Dr. Mermin said.

    Doxycycline has been in use for decades, and there are few indications that bacteria have become resistant to it. Syphilis and chlamydia do not often develop resistance, but gonorrhea is another question: Those bacteria have become resistant to multiple classes of antibiotics.

    Still, the picture may change depending on how many people take doxy-PEP and how often, some experts cautioned.

    “At the population level, that does worry me,” said Antón Castellanos Usigli, a sexual health expert who is an adjunct lecturer at the Columbia Mailman School of Health.

    In places like his native Mexico, Dr. Castellanos Usigli said, indiscriminate use of antibiotics has fueled the rise of drug-resistant bacteria, which can alter a person’s gut microbiome.

    What Happens Next: The C.D.C. will finalize new guidelines.

    Evidence so far supports doxy-PEP’s use only in men who have sex with men and in transgender women. In those groups, the antibiotic cut rates of syphilis and chlamydia by about 90 percent and gonorrhea by about 55 percent.

    Men who have sex with men account for nearly half of reported syphilis cases, according to the C.D.C. If studies show the approach to be effective in heterosexual cisgender men and cisgender women, the guidelines may be expanded.

    The agency said doctors should prescribe doxy-PEP as part of a comprehensive sexual health program that includes counseling, screening and treatment for the infections and for H.I.V.

    “Doxy-PEP will be a good option for some patients,” Dr. Castellanos Usigli said. “But we will have to do a lot of education with medical providers and patients so that we target the best candidates and prevent misuse and overuse.”

    Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

    Posted on

    Ways To Ask Your New Partner To Get Tested This Sexual Health Awareness Month

    By Zayna Allen

    Having new sexual partners can be fun and exciting, but it’s important to make responsible decisions. That includes having tough conversations. But luckily for you, September is Sexual Health Awareness Month! What better time to have an open and honest discussion about one of the most crucial aspects of any romantic relationship: sexual health.

    Sexual health awareness empowers individuals to make informed decisions about their physical and emotional well-being. It also helps maintain trust and transparency in a relationship, whether long-term or just for the moment.

    One of the most essential discussions with a new partner is getting tested for sexually transmitted infections. While this conversation may feel daunting, it’s necessary for any sexual dynamic to keep you and your partner safe. Here are some ways to have the conversation with ease.

    Conversations About Getting Tested

    Consider Timing

    One of the most important aspects about initiating this type of conversation is choosing the best moment. Timing is everything. Avoid discussing this sensitive topic when you or your partner are stressed, tired, or in the middle of an argument. When introducing the conversation, make sure to make it as normal as possible. Begin by stressing that sexual health is a part of responsible adulting. Present the idea of getting tested as something you both do for each other’s peace of mind. Emphasize that it’s not about trust but rather about taking care of each other’s health.

    Use “I”

    As with any difficult conversation with a partner, using “I” statements is essential. This helps you avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I think it’s important for both of us to get tested” instead of “You should get tested.” Creating a safe space should be one of the top priorities.

    Remain Patient and Supportive

    Although you are doing your best to create a calm conversation, you should always brace yourself for their reaction. Your partner could be entirely on board, or they could take offense to the conversation and need some time to think. No matter what, you should remain patient and supportive regardless of their initial response.

    Respect Your Partner

    Respect your partner’s decision, whatever it may be. Whether they agree to get tested immediately or need more time, continue to communicate openly and empathetically about your relationship’s health and well-being. Stand firm on your stance that this is important to you.

    Lead With Confidence

    Asking your new partner to get tested doesn’t have to be awkward. Remember to embrace it with confidence and compassion, knowing it’s vital to nurturing the dynamic between you.

    Complete Article ↪HERE↩!