— Let’s get wet ‘n wild.

By Korin Miller and Addison Aloian

When you’re moving from foreplay to the penetration portion of sex, a little bit of friction is a welcome addition. But too much of it can easily turn ‘ooh’ into ‘ouch,’ leaving that area dry and irritated, to say the least. That’s where lube comes in clutch. However, no one ~really~ teaches you how to use it, and it’s not always a topic covered in sex ed. So, you might be missing out on some of the added perks it can offer your sex life.

ICYDK, lube, or lubricant, is any kind of gel used for sexual activity, says Rachel Needle, PsyD, a certified sex therapist and intimacy expert in Florida. ‘It can help essentially reduce friction,’ she says, which means it can decrease pain and discomfort with vaginal dryness, help condoms stay on, and straight-up make sex feel better.

Sounds pretty great, right? More amazing news: There’s really no wrong way to use lube. ‘Like all things sexual, use lube in whatever way feels good for you,’ says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, a Toronto-based sexologist and host of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. If you focus on your own pleasure, using it can become second nature, she says.

Ready to get lubed up? Ahead, check out your guide to all things lube, including all the types and how to apply it, according to experts.

Which type of lube should I buy?

Not all lubes are created equal, and the right one for you depends a lot on your personal preferences and needs. ‘There are many types of lube and often, the use can help determine which ones are best for that person,’ says Jessica Shepherd, MD, founder of Sanctum Med + Wellness.

One thing to note: Certain kinds of lubricants can have harmful effects on vaginal and sperm health if you’re using it in the vaginal canal due to the pH levels interacting, Shepherd says. Because the vaginal canal has a pH range of 3.8 to 4.5, you’ll want to use a lubricant with a pH of seven or below—otherwise, the vaginal pH will become imbalanced, increasing the risk of infections, discomfort, and transmission of STIs, she adds. (Some lubes include the pH on their packaging, but otherwise, you can search for lubes online that actively promote their pH.)

Here’s a breakdown of your options:

Water-based Lube

The first, most prominent ingredient in these lubes is going to be water (go figure).
Pros:

• For one thing, ‘they are less sticky,’ says Dr. Shepherd.
• Plus, in general, water-based lubes are pretty versatile—they can be used with silicone toys and latex condoms.

Cons:

• They don’t stay on your skin as long as other types like silicone or oil-based lubes, she adds. So, you may need to reapply if you’re gearing up for a marathon in bed.

Oil-based Lube

Oil-based lubes are known for their staying power, but come with a couple of cons as well.>
Pro:

• They last a long time, so they’re great to use for lengthier sexy time seshes.

Cons:

• The oil may leave a coating on the rectum or vagina that can increase the risk of urinary or vaginal infections, Dr. Shepherd says. (Not everyone has this issue, though.)
• They should never be used with latex condoms or latex products. ‘That will disintegrate the latex,’ Dr. Shepherd says.

Silicone-based Lube

Silicone-based lubes last longer than other lubes, but you have to be *very* careful about how you use them.

Pro:

• They stay on for a long time.

Cons:

• They can be harder to wash off than other types of lube, Dr. Shepherd says.
• They’re not compatible with silicone sex toys, as it can break down the material, Dr. Shepherd explains.

Natural Lube

‘Natural lubes usually consist of ingredients that can range from homemade to store-bought and have the lowest amounts of ingredients,’ Dr. Shepherd says.
Pro:

• Natural lubes don’t contain chemicals, additives, or synthetic ingredients that can be irritants, particularly to people with sensitive skin.

Con:

• The term ‘natural’ isn’t regulated—you don’t need any type of certification to call a lube that—so it can be a bit misleading sometimes. So, if you’re looking for a store-bought ‘natural’ lube (rather than something like coconut oil), look for the words ‘organic’ and ‘natural’ on the label because ‘that means 90 percent of the ingredients are from the Earth,’ Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, a professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University, Fullerton, told WH.
• They’re not great to use with condoms, just because some ingredients might break down the material, Suwinyattichaiporn previously told WH.

How to apply lube

There are tons of different ways to use lube, through manual sex, oral sex, and masturbation, for instance. Just squeeze a few drops of lube into your hand and try spreading it on the vagina, penis, or anus, and then add more if you need it, Needle says. A few tips to get you started:

• Experiment with the amount of lube you need. ‘Some people think the more lube, the better, but really that’s not the case,’ Needle says. So, play around with the lube bottle, seeing how much comes out, and err on the conservative side at first—you can always add more later. The amount you need will depend on the kind of lube you’re using—for instance, water-based lubes don’t last as long, so you might apply more of that than you would if you were using an oil-based lube.
• Apply it on the right areas. Depending on what you’re about to do, you’ll want to make sure the affected areas are all lubed up, Needle says. So, if you’re having penetrative vaginal intercourse, put some in the vagina (internally) and/or on the penis. As long as the lube has a pH of seven or below, it should be safe to use in the vaginal canal, Shepherd adds.
• Communication is always key. Hopefully, you communicate about sex with your partner(s) before you engage in sexual activity, but either way, make sure all parties are comfortable with using lube, Needle says. Then, when you’re in the moment, communicate about how much to apply, and if you need more once you’re engaging in an act.

Manual sex (fingering, hand jobs, etc.)

Use it for an epic hand job. ‘Lube is everything when it comes to hand jobs,’ O’Reilly says. Try smearing a few drops on your hands or putting some on your partner’s penis before you dive in. ‘Anything you can do with your mouth, you can do with your hands as long as you use lube—and your hands are more flexible and dexterous,’ O’Reilly says. She recommends interlacing your lubed-up fingers and going for it.

Or, take fingering your partner up a notch. Try this pro tip from O’Reilly: Lube up your fingers, and cross them, like you’re making an ‘I swear’ motion. Then, slide them into your partner’s vagina, while gently rotating them. You can use your thumb to work your partner’s clitoris while you’re at it.

Oral sex

Apply lube to level up a blow job. It’s highly unlikely your partner has ever experienced this sexy hack before. Use your tongue to cover your lower teeth and wrap your top lip around your upper teeth. ‘Add lube to your upper lip as you clamp them between your teeth,’ O’Reilly says.

Additionally, gently massaging your partner’s balls (if they have them) during a blow job can help max out the experience. O’Reilly’s advice: Add a few drops of lube to your hands and then play with their balls or perineum while you give your partner a blow job.

While flavoured lubes are essentially designed to be used during oral sex, not all expets advise using them. ‘The vulvar and vaginal tissue is the most sensitive tissue in the body, and easily can be irritated,’ Mary Jane Minkin, MD, an OB-GYN with the Yale School of Medicine, told WH. That’s why she generally recommends avoiding products with perfumes and dyes for that area.

Penetrative sex

Of course lube can be used during penetrative vaginal or anal intercourse. ‘Use lube for more pleasure and less friction,’ O’Reilly says. She suggests applying lube right to your vulva using your fingers, or, if you want to get the party started right away, having your partner apply it by using their lips.

But lube can also help make backdoor penetration more comfortable, O’Reilly says. In fact, since you don’t have natural lubrication there, it’s kind of essential. She recommends using silicone lube for anal activities, unless you’re using silicone toys, strap-ons, or anal beads. It can also be an added bonus to keep things lubricated when you’re rimming your partner.

You can even drip a little inside a condom. A big complaint with condoms is that they can take some of the pleasurable feeling out of sex, but O’Reilly says that adding a little lube inside can do the opposite. ‘A drop or two of lube in the tip of the condom can heighten sensation,’ she says.

Masturbation

O’Reilly recommends using lube to try out different sensations for what she calls ‘mindful’ masturbation. ‘Slow down, release your grip, and breathe deeply as you focus on the sensations in your body as opposed to focusing on getting to orgasm,’ she says. (Sounds like a plan!)

Extracurricular activities

There’s plenty you can do here when it comes to sex toys. ‘You can roll a lubed-up bullet vibrator over your skin or across the vulva,’ O’Reilly says. Another trick: Sweep a vibe (with lube) over the perineum during oral or penetrative sex on your partner.

O’Reilly also recommends taking a flat-tip vibe, covering it in lube, and gently tracing it around your partner’s balls. You can even breathe warm air gently over the wet path you’ve created.

Or, try lube in the shower. Adding a few drops of lube to the base of your vagina or your toys before hitting the shower, O’Reilly recommends. Why? Water is notorious for washing away your own natural juices, and that can lead to some not-so-comfortable friction.

Lastly, you can dole out a sensual massage. While you can do it on your partner’s back, O’Reilly says a thigh massage is really the way to ramp things up during foreplay. ‘Use lube to trace figure eights over their thighs,’ she says. ‘Or use it to massage their inner legs before going down on them.’

Lube ingredients to avoid

The vaginal area is super sensitive to anything you put down there. ‘Be careful with anything that you’re putting in the vagina—it can really mess up the pH,’ says Needle. ‘It can cause yeast and lead to infections.’

So, a friendly reminder that just because an ingredient is included in a lube doesn’t mean it’s safe to be used down there. Here are a few ingredients to avoid when you’re shopping for lube:

• Glycerin: A sugar alcohol, this component has been linked to yeast infections, Needle says. You always want to avoid putting sugars into the vagina because it can mess up the pH, she adds.
• Parabens: These are additives that have been linked to cancer, Needle says. A 2022 study specifically connects parabens to breast cancer.
• Propylene Glycol: This ingredient has been known to disrupt the vaginal barrier, which is associated with a risk of bacterial vaginosis, according to 2018 research.
• Chlorhexidine Gluconate: It can change the bacteria in your vagina and throw off its balance, which can be irritating and lead to infections, Needle says.
• Nonoxynol-9: It’s an ingredient with spermicidal properties that can kill both good and bad bacteria in your vagina and cause irritation and inflammation, Needle says.

Can I use coconut oil as a lube for sex?

Yup. Coconut oil is commonly used as a natural lube, and it’s totally safe, says Needle, because these types of lubes don’t have chemicals or extra ingredients in them that may not be safe for your downstairs area. ‘If you have sensitive skin or any kind of skin condition, which are more common these days, they can be more comfortable’ to use, she explains.

Can I use baby oil as a lube for sex?

Nah, Needle doesn’t recommend it. While baby oil can be moisturising for your vagina, it’s not meant to be a lube, as it can cause irritation and be hard to get off of your skin and bed sheets once you’re done.

All in all, lube is a fabulous addition to any sexual play. Just find one with safe ingredients, apply a bit at a time, lather up, and most importantly, enjoy!

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