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Finger Your Hole For Your Health

Name: Gordon
Gender: male
Age: 67
Location: Florida
I guess I have more of a comment than a question. I’m 67, a widower and have been recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. I never was very adventuresome when it came to sex. In fact before my wife died two years ago I never had sex with any other woman. I never gave prostate cancer a thought, never gave my prostate a thought either. Now I’m mad as hell that I didn’t. You see when I started to go to a prostate cancer support group I discovered I could have monitored myself better with a simple self-examination. Why don’t doctors tell us about this? Women are supposed to examine their breasts why don’t men examine their prostate? It’s so easy actually and yet it’s this big secret. Why don’t people talk about this? It makes me so mad because it could have made a big difference in my own life. Do you know about this self-examination Dr Dick? If you do why don’t you tell other people about this? I think it would help a lot if you could get the word out on this. Now that’s all I have to say. Thank you.

No, thank you Gordon. Thank you for sharing your concern with me…with us.

I’ve been an active proponent of prostate self-exam for many years. Let me explain. My career as a therapist began in San Francisco in 1981. As you may recall, that was precisely the same year a mysterious new disease began showing up among gay men. Back then it was being called gay cancer, but soon it would have another name — HIV/AIDS.

give prostate cancer the fingerNot surprisingly, my private practice focused down almost exclusively to working with sick and dying people. Luckily, I discovered that I was well suited for the job and I liked it very much. So much so that in the mid-90’s I founded a nonprofit organization called, PARADIGM, Enhancing Life Near Death. It was an outreach and resource for terminally ill, chronically ill, elder and dying people. This was brilliant cutting-edge work and I learned so much from the people I was working with. One of the things that struck me most was that regardless of the disease — cancer, HIV, MS, you name it, or aging process for that matter — there was always a woeful lack of information about regaining a sense of sexual-self post diagnosis, or sexual wellbeing for seniors in general.

This was such an important topic for me that I decided to include a chapter on sex and intimacy concerns for sick, elder, and dying people in my book, The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying.  I am proud to say that it is one of the only resources of its kind available in print.

I recall one PARADIGM group in particular, there was a man much, like you, Gordon, who had fingering his assprostate cancer. And, like you, he was mad as hell with the indifference of the medical industry toward prostate self-exam. One day during a group session, John was railing against his doctors and cancer associations for their lack of interest in promoting prostate self-awareness. He pointed to the success of the cultural campaign to get women to do breast self-exams. Like you, Gordon, he couldn’t understand why there wasn’t a similar campaign for men.

Another group member, Marie, a senior woman in her 70’s and a breast cancer survivor, helped put things in perspective. She reminded us that breast self-awareness in our culture is a relatively new phenomenon. Her mother, aunt, sister, and a niece all died of breast cancer before the self-exam campaign began in earnest. Clare went on to say that it was only through the hard work of individuals and grassroots organizations that actively campaigned for breast self-exams that things began to change. Eventually, this movement changed the cultural mindset. Clare said that it was these individuals and grassroots organizations that helped all of us — medical industry, the cancer lobby and women in general — overcome the denial, shame and embarrassment that was associated with women touching themselves, even to save their lives.

prostate examThis is an indication of just how ingrained the sex-negativity and body-negativity runs in this culture.

I continued to work with sick and dying people here in Seattle. I had a brief gig at a local cancer center where I developed an NIH (National Institute of Health) funded program for women newly diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was also working with a group of women with breast cancer and another group of men with prostate cancer. Again I realized that just about every therapeutic intervention I encountered — government funded or foundation funded — was woefully lacking in any clear and unambiguous information about sexual health and wellbeing and intimacy issues.

To remedy this, I began planning a video series for people experiencing life threatening and/or disfiguring illnesses. Videos that would help them address reintegrating sex and intimacy post diagnosis. One of the first videos was going to be Public Service Announcement showing men how to do a prostate self-exam. By the way, this particular film was to be dedicated to my friend John, the guy I mentioned earlier. He died shortly after the PARADIGM group he was in ended. But he died self-aware. He was militant to the end about the pressing need for prostate awareness among men.

Once again the stumbling block I encountered was funding. My grant writing efforts turned up nothing. I did get a whole lot of, “what a fine idea, Richard. Good luck with that…” brush-off letters though. No foundation would be caught dead funding sexually overt pattern films, even ones with the laudable intent of assisting people with the very information they needed most.

I’m sorry to have been so long-winded in my reply, Gordon. I just wanted you to know that many have preceded you with outrage at the conspiracy of silence regarding prostate self-exam. Let’s face it; our society is so ass-phobic that we’d rather see men die than offer them simple instructions how to finger their butt, find their prostate and keep tabs on their prostate health.

If we want this to change we all need to speak out…as well as stick a finger in our ass.

Keep up the fight, Gordon! And please, stay in touch.

Good luck

Vanity, Vanity, All Is Vanity

Hey sex fans!

Look, a new edition of Product Review Friday is comin’ your way. This week we bring you a toy from the Jopen Vanity line. This is actually one of California Exotics’ high-end toy lines. And California Exotics is, is as you probably know, one of this county’s oldest adult toy manufacturers.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada, to see what she has for us.

Vanity Vr15  ——  $170.99

Jada
When Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Vr15, yet another stylized rabbit vibe, I said; “sure, why not!”

Rabbit vibes, both the traditional design and the newish stylized designs, have been a mainstay in the adult marketplace for just about as long as there has been an adult marketplace. I would love to meet the person who first came up with the design. And I would be willing to bet every dollar I have, and every dollar I ever hope to have, that the designer was a guy. Here’s why I say that.

I took it upon myself to do an informal survey of some of my women friends about their masturbation habits. I know we’re not supposed to talk about that, even with our close women friends, but a surprising number of women responded to my little survey. Of the two dozen women who responded, not one of them said that they inserted anything, not even fingers, into their vagina when they masturbate; at least not on a regular basis. It’s always all about the clit! Now I know, I know, this is not a representative sample and I suppose there are women out there who do insert something, fingers included, into their vagina when the masturbate, but I can’t help wondering what the percentage might be.Vanity Vr15

At the same time, if I were to give two dozen guys the task of designing a pleasure toy for women, I’d be willing to guess that the vast majority, if not all of them would design an insertable. Why? Because they have an insertable dangling between their legs and every guy knows where their insertable goes for pleasure. I suspect that most men can’t imagine a woman pleasuring herself without something that either looks exactly like a penis or faintly resembles one. Thus the proliferation of dildos. and their gussied-up cousin, the rabbit vibes. Doesn’t that sound a little weird to you? It sure does to me.

There is also the fact that most men frown on having their women use a phallic shaped instrument on themselves when they are having partnered sex. That doesn’t come as a huge surprise. I guess that’s why toy designers started stylizing the rabbit away from the obvious phallic design to something more like the Vr15.

So what is the Vr15 and what is remarkable about it? It’s an insertable with a “rabbit” arm, but instead of ears, there’s a tiny mouth for clitoral stimulation. It has two motors—shaft and rabbit. It’s powerful, but quiet. It’s waterproof, rechargeable and its skin is 100% latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. All those things are wonderful and add to the pleasure, but nowadays most, if not all, high-end vibes feature the same things.

Unlike other similar vibes, the Vr15 features a shaft that feels like it’s rotating under the skin, as opposed to vibrating. Remember the old rabbit designs that featured rotating beads in the shaft? It’s like that. It’s multifunctional with varying speeds. Again, all very nice, if you like that sort of thing.

It’s almost 5 inches in circumference at its widest point. The shaft then tapers towards the top and at its slimmest it’s about 3 inches in circumference. The tapered head makes for easy insertion while working your way up to that wider circumference. The total length of this toy is 8.5 inches.

I think it is important to add here that the Vr15 would work just as well as an anal toy. And because it is so easy to sanitize, (I’ll get to that later) I say why not?

The minimalist packaging, for such an expensive product, surprised me, but I liked it. It also comes with very nice storage bag.

It’s easy to use. The two-button control panel, in the handle, controls the rotation and vibration. The top button controls the shaft and the bottom button controls the rabbit. To activate the rotating shaft, press the top button once. To increase the speed, just hold it down. Press one more time to turn it off. The same is true for the rabbit, but, as I mentioned, one uses the bottom button to control it. The shaft and arm can be activated simultaneously.

The Vr15 is travel friendly because controls lock. To lock and unlock depress both buttons simultaneously for 4 seconds. That’s a very thoughtful feature.

The Vr15 has a rechargeable premium lithium ion battery. It also features LED charging and power lights.

I had some difficulty using the Vr15 on myself. It just didn’t seem to fit right. Once inserted, the “rabbit” didn’t quite connect with my clit. And if I tried to angle the vibe to attend to my clit, the inserted shaft was uncomfortable. And I don’t think I cared all that much for the rotation sensation. I’m pretty sure I would have preferred vibration.

Because it’s both waterproof and made of silicone cleanup couldn’t be easier. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. After you wipe it down rinse in warm water and let it air dry.

Be sure you only use a water-based lube with a fine silicone-skinned toy like this. A silicone-based lube will mar the finish.”

Here’s my quarrel with the Vr15. Despite the wonderful features the price point is out of this world. There are dozens and dozens of high-end rabbit style vibes on the market. Many, if not all, offer the same features. I mean, just use the search function in the sidebar and type in “rabbit.” You’ll be presented with an array of vibes, some with traditional designs, and some with stylized designs. None of which costs $171.00.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

My Alien Bunny

Hey sex fans!

Look, a new edition of Product Review Friday is comin’ your way. This week we bring you a toy for the women folk, but guys might like it too. This is our first product review from one of the sex toy industry’s award-winning innovators, Jimmyjane.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie, to see what’s up, so to speak.

Jimmyjane Form 2 — — $145.00

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “We started the new year off with a bang. Joy and I celebrated our 6th anniversary on New Years Eve. I know, how perfect is that? Anywho, we got a bunch of swell gifts from friends. We have the best friends evah!”
Joy: “Amongst the booty was a Jimmyjane Form 2. And guess who gave it to us? My ex, Barbara! The first product I ever reviewed for Dr Dick was the Share.  And Barbara and I were together back then. She knows my passion for toys and so she got Dixie and me the Form 2.”jimmyjane-form-2-01
Dixie: “I was completely flabbergasted because the Form 2 isn’t cheap; in fact it’s really pricy. Barbara’s a dot-com millionaire, so I suppose plunkin’ down $150 for a sex toy means nothing to her. Don’t get me wrong, I love that she’s so generous. And she’s such as sweetheart on top of it.”
Joy: “Yeah, Barb rocks! So let me take you on a little tour of the Form 2. It’s the cutest little thing. About the size of the palm of your hand, it’s basically a body with two short flexible ears. I call it my alien bunny. It’s made of high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And it has a stainless steel base where it recharges in its stylish charger base. Its rechargeable lithium polymer battery takes about two hours to fully charge and runs up to seven hours on a single charge.”
Dixie: “It features five vibration speeds and four modes of vibration, and is operated by a one button controller. Form 2 is fully waterproof and easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. And it should be shared!”jimmyjane-form-2-luxury-vibrato2_11903_700x700
Joy: “The two flexible ears vibrate, each with their own motor. So when you nuzzle the Form 2 up to your clit, with the ears placed along each side, your whole vulva is stimulated. Love it! It’s super quiet too.”
Dixie: “The ears pulsate with pleasure. Like Joy mentioned above each ear is flexible, but the body is dense. It feels so comfortable in my hand. I like moving Form 2 all around my body. My nipples are particularly sensitive to the pleasure it can deliver. I encourage you to find all your erogenous zones or those of your partner with this joyful toy.”
Joy: “It’s true! The sensations are like in stereo; the motors in each ear create happiness wherever it travels on your body. It’s the ideal toy for the bath. The Form 2 excels in design as well as function. It’s immediately obvious that a great deal of time, effort, and knowhow has gone into making this a pleasure treasure. And ya know what? Guys will like this too.”jimmyjane-form-2-luxury-vibrato2_11904_700x700
Dixie: “Here’s a thoughtful little extra; the controls can be locked in the off position for safe sex toy traveling. There’s nothing more embarrassing than have your vibe come to life on its own as you’re going through airport security. We already mentioned that Form 2 is rechargeable, so obviously it comes with its own charger and detailed product information brochure is included in the packaging. It also comes with a three-year product warranty.”
Joy: “Let’s recap, shall we? Form 2 is body-safe, healthy, GREEN, rechargeable, waterproof, and exceptionally good at what it says it can do. What more can one ask for from a vibe, or any product for that matter?”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Sex Play — Tips and Techniques

ANOTHER SEXUAL ENRICHMENT TUTORIAL

Beginning Sex Play — Tips and Techniques

The most frequent questions I get are from your average Dick and Jane, (or Dick and Dick, or Jane and Jane) who want to spice up their sex life. Inevitably they describe the kind of sex they’re currently having. And almost universally the description makes this grown man cry. Jeez, the boredom. How do they stand it? It’s a wonder any of them are having any sex at all.

What is it with the humdrum, run of the mill, and the “we’ve always done it that way mentality?” Are ya’ll afraid that if you add a little something new to your sex chore, from time to time, that the sky will fall? Holy cow!

Today’s tutorial is another attempt to motivate you to get off your butts and make something interesting happen in the sex department. We’ll begin with what was once called foreplay.

First off, I hate the word “foreplay” because it suggests that all these really great sex activities are only a lead up to a single “more important” activity — fucking. It also implies that ya’ll can dispense with the one in order to hurry up and get to the other. And that, my friends, is always a huge mistake.

do-not-disturb.jpgFrom now on I want us to banish “foreplay” from our vocabulary. Instead let’s start using “Sex Play.” It says it all, and it makes no suggestion that anything in particular must follow.

I’m of the mind that we’d all be better served if we thought of sex play as a continuum of pleasure and pleasuring — with a beginning, middle and an end. If you ask me, our sex play ought mirror our sexual response cycles — arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. That way we’re less likely to overburden one particular activity at the expense of all the others. Get it? Got it? Good!

Experienced sex fans agree; the best sexual encounters include an extended period of sensual play at the beginning of most sex play. This brings increased pleasure to both partners, and will make whatever else that might follow more satisfying. Just remember, sex play can be a meal in itself.

Sex play brings spice to the encounter because it gets our motors started. Even all you major sex athletes out there who are perpetually primed for sex will benefit from some hearty sex play. It will help cool your jets and make the encounter last longer than a firecracker. And I know that you know what I mean!rose-flogger

In our hectic rush around world, sex play is particularly important. It helps us transition from the daily cares and woes to the realm of sensual pleasures. The workaholics among us need more time to become fully aroused. Their minds are still filled with the junk of the day, and not yet ready to give or receive pleasure. And pleasuring and being pleasured takes a big attitude shift from that of the rest of the day. In fact, if you’re gonna approach sex and pleasuring with the same mindset you have on the job or with the kids, give it up now and be done with it. You’ll only walk away from the encounter disappointed.

Heart PadlockSex play primes us for maximum pleasure. Men will have the time we need to come to full erection and women will have the time they need to properly lubricate. By the way, this is called the arousal stage in our sexual response cycle. But you probably know that already, right?

When we stop thinking of sex play as “foreplay” we realize there is no such thing as spending too much time giving and getting pleasure. If sex play evolves into full-on fucking — SWELL. Both partners will be fully aroused and fucking will flow naturally and effortlessly from the pleasure enjoyed at the beginning of sex play.

Sex play can include everything from chocolate and whipped cream to whips and chains. But let’s not get too far ahead of our selves. Let’s start at the beginning of sex play. Most people miss out on the pleasure of undressing with and for their partners. Stripping out of, or being helped out of our daily wear and into something sexy or nothing at all can be very arousing. It’s also a visual signal that we’re shifting out of our work-a-day world and entering the realm of sensuality. Stripping is an art form, ya know. We could all learn a lesson or two from the folks who do this for a living, but there’s more about this in another tutorial — The Big Tease; How to Strip for Someone Special.Kama Sutra Body Souffle

Creating the right sex environment is important too. Make sure the room is warm. Proper lighting and music will surely add to the mood. Scents are also important. More and more people are incorporating erotica into their sex play — reading a sexy story together or enjoying some hot porn will make the encounter memorable.

Most women complain that their partners don’t kiss long enough and rush the kissing to get at their pussy. Guys, what the fuck? You want pussy? Use your mouth to maximum advantage kiss and nibble all over everything. Literally devour your partner with your mouth. Believe me, if you do this right, by the time you get to her pussy she’s gonna want to give it up big time.

Sex play is the perfect time for setting the mood for all that might follow. It’s a time for sharing fantasies, role-playing, dirty talk or some full body massage. Always have some nice lotion available then use your hands, forearms, feet and elbows to knead your partner’s muscles and naughty bits.

GOK small coverCertain areas on the body are more hot-wired than others. It’s your job to find each and every one your partner has. As you massage vary your strokes and touch to stimulate your partner. Roll your fingertips across his or her nipples and behind his or her ears as you kiss him and tease her with your tongue.

If you’re doin things right, your partner will be moaning with pleasure. If she or he starts getting impatient it’s time to bring out the restraints. There’s nothing like some hot erotic bondage to punctuate your sex play.

While your darling is subdued and possibly blindfolded, crank things up a notch. Add different sensations and stimuli, a warm chocolate sauce followed by ice cream. A fur mitt followed by a Loofah. Introduce some sex toys — a vibrator, tit clamps, or an anal stimulator.

Don’t forget to check in with your partner from time to time. Ask for some feedback and direction. Do you like this? Or do you like this better? Never presume to know what your partner likes simply because he or she liked it before, this is a recipe for boredom and the dreaded bed death. If words fail you, SHOW your partner what you want. Then encourage your partner to do the same to younipple_clamps.jpg.

Sex play is not about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It is about understanding what makes your partner tick and supplying and applying those things to their greatest sensual advantage. There are many ways to give your partner extreme pleasure, and it all begins in your brain. Sex play is as much of an art form as it is a necessity.

Finally, the basic premise behind all of this is that a great lover is one that gives pleasure because it is its own reward, not a means to getting something else.

Good luck ya’ll

Isn’t she lovely

Hello sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday! We welcome another new company to our review effort — Fun Toys today. They are relative new-comers to the world of adult products. And, right out the gate, they’ve brought the world a very unique and innovative vibe, the topic of today’s review. Their company slogan is Orgasm Delivery!

Well, we’ll just see about that, don’t cha know. Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada is here with her thoughts and comments.

G Vibe —— $99.99

Jada
I am delighted to be the one to bring you news of a truly remarkable and inventive new vibe. It’s called the G Vibe and it comes from a company called Fun Toys. Well, my friends, no need to beat around the bush; I’m smitten.

G Vibe02The G Vibe looks like no other vibe I’ve ever seen. It looks as though someone took a regular insertable vibe and sliced it down the middle, producing two forked tongues, each of which vibrates. The two tongues are ultra-flexible and the whole vibe is covered in the most deliciously soft and velvety 100% medical grade silicone. And that makes it, as you probably already know, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic. It’s the dream material for insertables. The G Vibe comes in several colors, mine is rose.

Embedded in the handle of G Vibe is a hard plastic ring, with a metallic finish. This allows you to slip two fingers (index and middle) into the handle so that your thumb is perfectly positioned on the three-button control panel. When activated the buttons light up. It is super-ergonomic and clearly lovingly designed.

Speaking of the control panel, it’s among the easiest I’ve ever used. The top button is marked with a “+.” This turns on the vibe and accelerates the intensity of the vibrations from mild to wow! The middle button marked with a wavy icon rotates through the six vibrating modes. The lower button is marked with a “-.” This decelerates the intensity of the vibrations and turns the unit off.

The G Vibe is about 9.5” long, with an insertable length of about 6”. The girth of a single tongue is approximately 2.5” and the girth of the two tongues together is about 4.5”

Each of the tongues of the G Vibe has its own motor. And the flexibility of the tongues is what makes it so versatile. Squeeze the two tongues together to insert the shaft of the vibe. Of course, the tongues separate once inserted. The two tongues delivers a sensation of fullness without stretching the entrance of your vagina. This makes for lovely G-spot stimulation. Insert one tongue and maneuver the other tongue to your clit. Or slip the G Vibe over your clit or nipples in a clothespin like fashion. Or use the tongue tips to tickle and tease anywhere on your body or your partner’s body. Let your imagination and your creativity guide you to find all the possible uses and pleasure techniques. Look to the pamphlet that is included in the box for inspiration.G Vibe01

Any men out there reading this will be pleased to know that G Vibe can be used anally too. Again, squeeze the two tongues together to insert the shaft of the vibe an experience a unique prostate massage. Or insert one tongue anally and the other will deliver delightful perineum stimulation. I think the G Vibe is ideal for couple play. Be sure to use only a water-based lube with this beauty. A silicone-based lube would degrade and mar it’s finish.

The motors are powerful yet remarkably quiet. And the G Vibe is rechargeable! The recharge port is in the base of the handle. A small flap of silicone covers the port when the recharging cord has been removed.

Sadly, the design of the charger port, with the flap and all, makes the G Vibe only water resistant, not waterproof. This is the only drawback that I can see to this superior vibe. I so wanted to have the G Vibe join me in the bath, where I do most of my self-pleasuring. Unfortunately, that will never happen. Maybe Fun Toys will consider a recharge port redesign at some point, which will make the G Vibe waterproof.

G Vibe03Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. Be sure to rinse in warm water and let it air dry afterward.

The lovely gift box the G Vibe comes in is very stylish, yet all the components are recyclable. I love that Fun Toys is environmentally conscious. The box closes with a magnetic latch. Inside the box, under the lift out insert that holds the G Vibe in place, you will find the owner’s manual, the USB recharger cord, and an attractive drawstring storage bag featuring the Fun Toys logo. Everything about this presentation says elegant without being ostentatious.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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