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Hot Wheels

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Name: Michael
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Minneapolis
I’m a 23-year-old bisexual paraplegic. Hey ya have to be available for whatever comes your way when you’re in a chair, right? I got this way in a really stupid alcohol related diving accident three years ago. So OK, I fucked up.
I was just getting my groove on sexually before the accident, nothing serious, fooled around with my cousin Jack and got a severe case of blue balls with this chick, Amber, I used to date. Anyhow, I’m finding it hard to connect with guys or girls for a bit of fun so I thought I’d write you and ask for advice. By the way, the equipment still works, sort of.
I think most people think disabled people can’t have or don’t want sex. I would like to have a relationship with someone who doesn’t pity me, but is hot for me. I have this really developed upper body, like a gymnast, and people tell me I have a handsome face. That should be enough to get me laid, right? Is there such a thing as a wheelchair fetish?

You’re a fuckin’ treasure, darlin’! I mean it. If you come across as upbeat, self-effacing, humorous, and sexy in person as you do in this message to me you shouldn’t have any problems getting laid. Ahhh, but of course, writing for online sex advice from a total stranger is probably a whole lot easier than wheeling up to another hot dude or sizzlin’ chick and suggesting a torrid session of the old slap and tickle; am I right?

Yet despite the inherent discomfort and difficulty of being that upfront, that’s precisely what is gonna get you laid. It’s all in the presentation Michael. Self-confidence and charm trumps disability every time. Unfortunately, many people think that “paralyzed from the waist down” means “there’s nothin’ goin on down there.” It’s your job to change their perception about that. Now, I’m not suggesting you be a dick about this. Just be your own sweet self and put it out there as natural as can be. You’re entitled to some good lovin’, just like the rest of us. And just like the rest of us, you’re gonna have to learn how to ask for what you want.

While I completely understand you’re not looking for a mercy fuck from someone who will take you out of pity. There may be a number of potential partners out there who’d jump your bones as a novelty…at least at first. I certainly wouldn’t turn my nose up at these folks if I were you. Because a novelty fuck is a teachable moment when you can show the benighted dude or chick what you can do.

If you see yourself as a sexual being and put out a sex-positive vibe, I am confident that you will connect with folks. Make eye contact and smile. If you’re leering at her tits or focused on his package, you’re objectifying a potential partner. You don’t want that to happen to you, so don’t do it to anyone else. Consider coming up with a few choice lines that’ll call attention to all the sexual things you can do. Like, “The old legs don’t work so good, but there’s nothing wrong with my mouth and tongue.” Get the picture?

As for wheelchair fetishists, they’re out there honey. Just like the amputee/devotee fetishists I’ve talked/written about. There are lots of amateur paraplegic porn sites. Just google that you’ll get an eye full. Just think, this could be the beginning of a whole new career move for you.

Do an internet search using the key words wheelchair fetish or wheelchair fetish sites. I did and found a couple of really amazing sites: gimpsgonewild.com and disabledsinglesdating.com/. Check ‘em out.

Just remember, each of us has one kind of disability or another, yours just happens to be really obvious.

Good Luck!

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How giving up porn could help your sex life

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For many of us, watching porn can be like eating a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream; regularly done, enjoyable – no doubt – but can also often leave us feeling, well, a tad ashamed…

by Edward Dyson

However, pushing aside those pride-deprived moments spent reaching for discarded socks, could it be true that by indulging our cravings for explicit material on the web – c’mon now, you all know the sites… – we might actually be damaging our mental health? Not to mention our sex lives (you know, the one we’re supposed to be doing… in person?)

Earlier this year pop star Will Young opened up about having a porn problem, sharing with fans that his childhood trauma and shame was at the root of his dependency on several vices. These included alcohol, shopping but – the one that grabbed the most headlines, predictably – was the revelation that he had developed an obsessive level of consumption when it came to pornography, which he believes he used to ‘fill a void.’ And if the rich and famous feel empty enough to be filling their voids with porn, exactly what hope is there for the rest of us – the great unwashed?

Admittedly, most of us probably won’t have thought into the matter too deeply, and while we might not be broadcasting the number of weekly web wanks we’re racking up, neither are we too worried that a cheeky three-minute viewing of a US College Boys video might, in fact, be a reflection of some underlying issue. Most of the time, it’s fair to say most of us have already forgotten about the content we’ve, ahem, enjoyed – before the Kleenex has even been safely disposed of.

But it isn’t just the original Pop Idol winner who began to wonder whether there might be a darker side to viewing all this badly-shot -and even more terribly acted – footage we’re apparently so fond of. Recent research suggests that by watching porn, we could be debilitating our ability to form healthy sexual relationships – in the living breathing world – and could potentially be inflating any pre-existing mental health issues we might already be dealing with, whether or not we’re aware of these threats.

Many psychological experts have repeatedly stated that – despite being laughed off by naysayers for obvious reasons – porn obsession is undeniably real, and forms as a type of process behavioural dependency. The reaction of the brain to this material can be very similar to the stimulation that happens after taking drugs. And in even more limp news, doctors have also reported on the growing trend amongst men who struggle to get an erection with a real-life partner because they’re so used to using explicit imagery in order to help them get off.

And, let’s face it, it’s all very much out there, readily available for the watching. According to the website Paint Bottle, 30 per cent of all data transferred online is porn, and Virginia lawmakers claim that all pornography is “addictive,” can promote the normalisation of rape, can lessen the “desire to marry, equate violence with sex,” as well as encouraging “group sex,” (not necessarily a bad thing… who are we to judge?) and –of course – “risky sexual behaviour and infidelity,” among other effects.

But are they all just taking it too seriously? Perhaps being a little too prude-ish… right in front of our salads?

Sex guru Jerry Sergeant – a self-confessed former sex and porn obsessed himself – believes that one vital component to a healthy sex life is to quit porn and traditional masturbating, and instead follow a tantric path.

Never mind cold turkey. This here is cold jerk-y. (Sorry.)

Speaking about the perils of consuming X-rated content to Gay Times, he warned: “Porn is dangerous, and people do get obsessed with it. I was for many years. At my worst, I was watching videos on the internet all the time, every day, four hours on end. When I stopped, it was like being a heroin addict going clean. It’s just a fantasy, but it means people are no longer looking in the most important places for what they want.”

And the damage it does to us when we are forming our ideas about sex during our younger years is difficult to reverse, he admitted.

“It’s almost a violation,” Jerry says. “I believe meditation, and tantric sex should be taught in schools. Unfortunately, the schooling system takes kids outside of themselves, and just pushes facts, figures and information on them.”

Tantric sex in schools? Well, beats PE, that’s for sure. But now, not only does Jerry not watch porn – (never, not even Justin Bieber’s nude leaks, for crying out loud!) – but he doesn’t even masturbate. No, never. Now that’s a hard one… (so to speak.) He explains: “What a load of people don’t know is, you can have the most incredible orgasm all on your own, without ever putting your hand on your penis. Masturbating tantrically is extremely powerful.”

But in an age where people are too busy to even pick up the phone and order their own takeaway – thanks Hungry House! – can we reasonably expect people to take the time to bring themselves to orgasm with just the power of their mind?

Jerry assures us: “It’s worth it. OK, so what you do is start with something that can be quite tough at first: you have to give yourself an erection without thinking of something sexual.”

Does the men’s rugby team count? Apparently not, as Jerry continues: “Perhaps think about a partner, or someone you know would like to be with, and imagine yourself getting to that state – then squeeze the muscles that are just between your anus and testicles, squeeze them for ten seconds, then release for ten seconds… squeeze again, release again. Eventually you’ll start getting an erection, and the more excited you get, eventually you will come to the point where orgasm happens.”

Blimey. Who needs porn when even the tantric guide is this steamy? “I’ve taught this to a lot of people,” Jerry says, unfazed. “Close your eyes, take long deep breaths, and settle into a space, and combine it with meditating if you can. You can light candles or incense, really relax and enjoy stimulating yourself. And it doesn’t have to be done alone, either.”

Phew. We were beginning to worry that all this tantric malarkey might be so enjoyable it might make the idea of partners redundant… “Another way, which is really cool, is to do this with a partner, sit opposite each other, breathing together, getting into a rhythm and building it up,” he shares. “Tense those muscles, and let them go, continue that process thinking of only each other, not physically touching each other, and then experience it together. The more you practise it, the closer you’ll come to reaching orgasm at exactly same time. It’s a mind-blowing experience – you connect on such a deeper level.”

This may be all very well and good for those who have enough time in the day for hour long sessions of mental self-pleasure. But how does it help with our actual sex lives?

Jerry promises: “Once you’ve learnt to harness and keep that energy inside of you, you’ll never go back to normal orgasms again. It’s like having a big carrot being dangled in front you, then nothing’s there – an anti-climax. It can last for at least 30 seconds, sometimes a minute and a half if you’re doing it and holding it… your whole body vibrates and vibrates. Compared to a ten second shot, which is wasted time, it’s just amazing. This will follow into your regular sex life, and this kind of orgasm will become your norm.”

He adds: “The beautiful thing this is, if you’re on the right frequency, you’ll meet the right person who will also be open to learning all about it.”

It’s certainly a tempting prospect. Jerry admits he’s not only more sexually satisfied now than he was when he was porn obsessed – spending thousands paying for sex and drugs – but he’s also generally happier in himself.

That doesn’t mean the journey is easy though. “I remember when I first found out, to start with – to masturbate while staying in your body and mind took a lot of practice,” he admits. “And I was practising a few times a day and would get it wrong; I was doing it two or three times a day, then once a day, then whenever I felt like it really. But I would suggest not having sex while you’re mastering this technique, then when you do, you can start experimenting, perhaps tantrically with a partner, or friend, in an open relationship, there are lots of options, and it can be really exciting.”

And even if the tantric route is not the right path for everyone, Jerry is adamant that quitting porn should be something everybody at least attempts. Basically, try to give a toss…

“I would suggest not watching anything for a month, first of all. Treat it like Dry January is to alcohol,” he says. “See how much you actually miss it. You might surprise yourself.”

To continue that comparison, highlighting the darker sides to the relationship you have with a certain vice, be it alcohol or porn, shouldn’t mean condemning every beer bottle – or every piece of voyeuristic sex – straight to Room 101. Plenty of people can enjoy a drink in moderation, and plenty of people also have a healthy relationship with porn. Most certainly, not everyone who partakes in a cheeky bit of ManHub or XTube is secretly turning into Michael Fassbender’s character in Shame – giving his tripod todger third degree burns from office computer misuse and compulsive masturbating. However, because watching porn is, by its very nature, a solo activity, rather than a social one – rarely discussed even with the closest of friends – as a habit that could spiral: it’s easy to take your eye of the ball, (or balls…)

Sure, we count the calories of our food, and the number of alcoholic drinks – that we can remember, anyway – largely due to fears that are related to social judgement and obvious physical effects. But usually, unless you’re really quite brazen, regardless of how much porn you’re watching, those around you will generally be none the wiser.

That’s why it remains, and will surely continue to remain, a habit that can only truly be monitored through maintaining a strong sense of self-accountability, and perhaps asking yourself some tough questions. Has your relationship with porn ventured into unhealthy territory?

Below are a few signs that your relationship with sexually explicit content might have got, ahem, out of hand…

So… do you have a problem?

1. Excessive time spent viewing porn

An obvious one, but a good place to start. Now, of course there are no NHS guidelines – like there are with alcohol – as to what counts as excessive. But a helpful question to ask yourself might be: does the time dedicated to this activity impact heavily on your day-to-day life? Signs could be: regularly finding yourself late for work because of watching porn. Watching inappropriate content on work (and not just NSFW gifs, we’re talking extended disabled lavatory visits….) Or cancelling on friends. Put simply, just because you have a wank doesn’t mean you have to be a wanker.

2. Notable negative consequences

Related to point one, but if you can link things that are going wrong in your life to your relationship with porn, then that’s a huge red flag that things might have got spiralled somewhat out of control. Are you left financially struggling because you’re spending so much of your income on explicit websites? Is it causing problems at work or in your relationship? This leads nicely to…

3. Loss of interest in sex

Whether in a relationship or not, if – like the growing trend that doctors have noticed emerging – your dependency on porn is so strong that you struggle to become aroused in real life scenarios, then this is definitely a major problem. Most people seeking a satisfying sex life with a partner – or multiple partners – should be fine to consume porn outside of that, usually privately, but if it becomes all you find yourself interested in, then this habit might just have slipped into compulsive territory.

4. A constant need to go further

Kinkiness is an interesting subject. We all have our little kinks, and it’s sometimes tricky to know how normal – or abnormal – these are. But a tell-tale sign that porn might be having a negative effect on your mental health is if you’re constantly feeling like you need to keep actively seeking more and more extreme, and unusual, content. If there’s material that a month ago was turning you on, and now you’re craving something that takes it on even further – and this is part of a pattern – then it also might be part of a problem…

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Ring-A-Ding-Ding

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. This week we welcome back an old friend. The good people at We-Vibe have been part of this review effort since 2008 when we reviewed our first product of their line. Since then we’ve happily reviewed several of their others.

To keep track of all our reviews of the amazing products coming from We-Vibe, use the search function in the sidebar of DrDickSexToyReviews.com, type in We-Vibe, and PRESTO!

Back with us today is one of the newest members of the Dr Dick Review Crew, Trevor, who will introduce us to today’s product.

The Verge Vibrating Ring, Slate —— $88.70

Trevor
Hello again! Just in case you didn’t read my first review, my name is Trevor.  I’m 32 years old. I’m originally from the UK, Manchester to be precise, but have been in the US since I was 13. I live with my da. My mom passed away three years ago. I am dating this great gal. Shelia is her name. We’ve been together for just over a year.

My new toy is the Verge Vibrating Ring by We-Vibe. It’s an amazing new cockring.

If you are unfamiliar with what a cockring (penis ring) is or what it is used for, let me turn your attention to a swell tutorial that Dr Dick put together called, Cockring Crash Course.

The Verge Vibrating Ring is worn around your cock and balls. The ring feature adds a bit of blood flow restriction for fuller, longer lasting erections. The vibration feature, which hits you smack-dab on your perineum, produces mind-blowing orgasms.

You can use the Verge Vibrating Ring alone, like when you’re having a little wank, or with a partner, like when you’re having a little shag. Either way, it’s brilliant!

Sometimes I need a wee bit more stimulation to get off than what I can produce with my hand. For example, I’ve recently discovered all the pleasures that come from stimulating my prostate while I wank. For the longest time my butthole was off limits because I thought that was too gay for a straight bloke like me. I know how stupid that way of thinking is now, but for the longest time I just wouldn’t allow myself the permission to even investigate the other pleasure zones on my body.

My girl, Shelia, helped me over come that. One day we were having sex and she had this little lipstick vibe with her. http://www.drdicksextoyreviews.com/2014/05/09/we-vibe-tango/ She started to use it on her clit while I was inside her. At first, I was pretty upset by this. I thought I wasn’t doing my job pleasuring her enough with my cock. I even started to get soft. I was just about to pull out when Shelia, guessing what was going on with me, took the little vibe and placed it on that patch of skin between my balls and butthole, my perineum. I immediately jumped to attention. I had never felt anything like that before. But I was also scared. It was getting way too close to my hole for comfort.

I was torn between the intense pleasure and the fear of the gay thing. What a dolt!

Shelia later told me about all the nerve endings in my pelvis can be the source of great pleasure and that some guys are orgasmic by just stimulating their prostate. To tell the truth, I wasn’t all that sure what or where my prostate was. All I knew was that if it was inside my butt; I wasn’t going there. But I figured stimulating my perineum was OK because it was not technically IN my butt.

To make a long story short, I was using a vibrator on my perineum one day when I, all of a sudden, let the vibe wander to my hole. The sensations were AMAZING! It was only a little while later that I threw caution to the wind and tentatively started to insert the vibe in my butthole. Within minutes I discovered my prostate, which is as sensitive and pleasure producing as my cock if not more so. And guess what? I didn’t turn gay!

Crazy story, right? I’ll bet there are a lotta guys out there who think the way that I used to. Hopefully, reading this will straighten them out…no pun intended.

OK, so I mentioned that if you wear the Verge Vibrating Ring with the pointy part down you get perineum stimulation, right? Well get this, if you wear the Verge with the pointy part up, like when you’re having sex with your partner, the Verge Vibrating Ring delivers the vibration to your partner’s clit.

The Verge Vibrating Ring delivers vibrations that are deep and rumbly, not the little buzzy kind that you get from some vibes. It’s also amazingly quiet.

And while we’re talking about the vibrations, you should know that there are 10 vibration modes built into the Verge Vibrating Ring. But that’s just the beginning. There’s a smartphone app that you get through the We-Vibe website. http://we-vibe.com/app With the app you can connect and control a bunch of We Vibe products, not just the Verge. So when Shelia and I both have our We Vibe vibrator we can share control of each other’s pleasure at the same time. It’s totally wild.

The Verge Vibrating Ring is covered in velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic, body-safe silicone. And because it is fully waterproof and made of silicone it’s a breeze to clean. I toss it into the skink with mild soap and warm water, rub it down a bit, and then let it air dry. Or you can just wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

The Verge Vibrating Ring is rechargeable via a USB connected port. It takes about 90 minutes to fully charge and a full charge will last for up to two hours of play.

If you’re going to be using lube on or around the Verge Vibrating Ring, be sure to use only water-based lube. A silicone based lube would mar the beautiful finish of the toy.

I love everything about the Verge Vibrating Ring. I love that it is made of body-safe silicone and that it’s 100% waterproof. I love that the vibrations are massive but it’s still really quiet. I love that it is rechargeable. And I love that Shelia and I can play with our toys and each other even if we’re not actually together.

Full Review HERE!

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The best sex toy you didn’t know you needed

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday comin’ at ya again.

In previous weeks we welcomed several new manufacturers to our effort. (If ya missed any of our recent reviews you can see them HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE.) All these new manufacturers are Europeans. Today, we welcome back an award-winning company, including the unprecedented two placements on the coveted Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews Best Adult Products List, 2012 and 2013. It is proudly an American company. And these folks are good friends to all of us here at Dr Dick Sex Advice. Join me in welcoming back The Perfect Fit Brand!

To keep track of all our reviews of the amazing products coming from The Perfect Fit Brand, use the search function in the sidebar of DrDickSexToyReviews.com, type in The Perfect Fit Brand, and PRESTO!

I am equally pleased to welcome back the very popular Dr Dick Review Crew duo, Glenn & Hank who have returned to our review effort. They are here to tell us about their new find.

Bull Bag Buzz —— $49.95

Glenn & Hank
Hank: “HEY SEX FREAKS! We’re back…after a nearly four-year absence. Where does the time go?”
Glenn: “I was one of the people who pleaded with Dr Dick to keep the reviews coming, just before he closed it down in 2014. I considered myself one of the founding members of the Dr Dick Review Crew and I didn’t want it to end. I did my first review in October on 2007. I know that some of the other members got burnt out, and I confess, this reviewing gig can be a bitch sometimes, but I thought we were doing a great service to those who read this blog.”
Hank: “I joined the Dr Dick Review Crew in August 2008. Glenn and I had the pleasure of introducing you to many remarkable products, including The Best Product or Toy for Men back in 2012 — The Fat Boy Cock Sheath another great product from The Perfect Fit Brand.”
Glenn: “When Dr Dick announced that he was gonna revive this review effort I told him that Hank and I would gladly return. But I made one stipulation. ‘You had better give us first dibs on any new products from The Perfect Fit Brand.’”
Hank: “You can say that again! The Perfect Fit Brand consistently cranks out the world’s most innovative toys for men. Each year they outdo themselves and they have the awards, from over the globe, to prove it. If you’ve got a cock and balls and/or an asshole, and you don’t have at least a couple of their products, I can assure you that you are missing out on a ton of fun.”
Glenn: “So what is this Bull Bag Buzz thing, you might be asking yourself. Well guys, I’ll tell ya. It’s probably the best sex toy you didn’t know you needed. It’s a stretchy encasement that fits around your nut sack. It cradles your balls a bit. It stretches your sack a bit. And the fuckin’ thing vibrates! It is made of The Perfect Fit Brand’s proprietary material, called SilaSkin, which is a blend of silicone and TPR (thermoplastic rubber). It is unbelievably stretchy and irresistibly soft and it is phthalate-free. Bull Bag Buzz comes in two colors, black and clear.”


Hank: “Yep, the Bull Bag Buzz is stretchy, shape-enhancing, and body-hugging. If you ask me, nothing says macho like a big set of swingin’ balls between a guy’s legs. And yet, most of us guys pay our balls little mind. We stroke our dick and feed our ass, sure. But what about our nuts? I think it’s a fuckin’ shame that we often ignore this source of pleasure and even some pain. Check out what Dr Dick has to say about it HERE!”
Glenn: “Hank is lucky because he’s got obscenely huge nuts. When we go to play parties, he loves nothing more than to swagger around like some stallion. I, on the other hand, wasn’t nearly as blessed, but I never take my cajones for granted. I always try to incorporate them into my pleasuring – stretching and tugging.”
Hank: “That’s right! If ya haven’t tried a little CBT, you’re missing out. It hurts sooo good!
Glenn: “I think we just got off topic there for a bit. But actually, it’s all very pertinent. Bull Bag Buzz could be part of any guy’s attempt to include his balls into his sexual repertoire. You can use it alone or with a partner. You slip it over your nut sack, turn on the 3-Speed power bullet located on the bottom and get ready for intense vibration that travels throughout the whole product. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Using it alone, like while you’re strokin’ your dick, keeps your nut sack engaged in your pleasuring. You’ll be amazed at the added pleasure. Using it with a partner is equally awesome. I’m a bottom, so when Hank mounts me with the Bull Bag Buzz on his nuts, I get the added sensation of his huge nuts slammin’ into me. The vibrations only heighten the pleasure.”


Hank: “So I was lookin’ on the internet for some information about Bull Bag Buzz before we started to play with it ourselves. I found a video of the founder and CEO of The Perfect Fit Brand, Steve Callow talking about his newest creation. I’m gonna include it here.”


Glenn: “I fuckin’ want to see Steve Callow model the Bull Bag Buzz, not just talk about it. He is one HOT daddy.”
Hank: “Now, now, behave yourself. You can be such a pervert. The Bull Bag Buzz is safe with all water-based lubes. Clean up is super easy because the SilaSkin material is nonporous and so stretchy you can actually turn the blasted thing inside out. And once thoroughly dry the Bull Bag Buzz isn’t the least bit sticky or tacky. We both give this product an A+ rating.”
Glenn: “The Bull Bag Buzz also works for giving your package that extra-large bulge under your favorite pair of jeans.

Full Review HERE!

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A Very Sexy Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Words

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Me talk dirty one day.

By

The vocabulary of BDSM can be intimidating to newcomers (newcummers, heh heh). What is your domme talking about when she tells you to to stop topping from the bottom and take off your Zentai suit for some CBT? What, while we’re at it, is a domme? So, let’s start with the basics: “BDSM” stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism, the core pillars of kinky fun. Beyond that, there’s a whole language to describe the consensual power exchange practices that take place under the BDSM umbrella. At press time there’s still no “kink” on Duolingo, so here’s a handy glossary of some of the most common BDSM terms, from A to Z.

A is for Aftercare
Aftercare is the practice of checking in with one another after a scene (or “play session,” a.k.a., the time in which the BDSM happens) to make sure all parties feel nice and chill about what just went down. The dominant partner may bring the submissive ice for any bruises, but it’s important to know that aftercare involves emotional care as well as physical. BDSM releases endorphins, which can lead to both dominants and submissives experiencing a “drop.” Aftercare can help prevent that. There’s often cuddling and always conversation; kinksters need love too.

B is for Bondage
Bondage is the act of tying one another up. In most cases the dominant partner is restraining the submissive using ropes, handcuffs, Velcro, specialty hooks, clasps, or simply a belt if you’re on a budget.

C is for CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)
In BDSM, CBT does not refer to cognitive behavioral therapy, it refers to “cock and ball torture,” which is exactly what it sounds like: The dominant will bind, whip, or use their high-ass heels to step on their submissive’s cock and balls to consensually torture them.

D is for D/S
D/S refers to dominance and submission, the crux of a BDSM relationship. While kinky people can be on a spectrum (see: “Switch”), typically you’re either dominant or submissive. If you take away one fact from this guide, it should be that even though the dominant partner in D/S relationship may be slapping, name-calling, and spitting on the submissive, BDSM and D/S relationships are all about erotic power exchange, not one person having power over another. The submissive gets to set their boundaries, and everything is pre-negotiated. The submissive likes getting slapped (see also: “Painslut”).

E is for Edgeplay
Edgeplay refers to the risky shit—the more taboo (or baddest bitch, depending on who you’re talking to) end of the spectrum of BDSM activities. Everyone’s definition of edgeplay is a little different, but blood or knife play is a good example. If there’s actually a chance of real physical harm, it’s likely edgeplay. Only get bloody with a partner who knows what they’re doing without a doubt and has been tested for STIs. You don’t have to get maimed to enjoy BDSM.

F is for Fisting
Fisting is when someone sticks their entire fist inside a vagina (or butthole). Yes, it feels good, and no, it won’t “ruin” anything but your desire for vanilla sex. Use lube.

G is for Golden Showers
A golden shower is when you lovingly shower your partner with your piss. It’s high time for the BDSM community reclaimed this word back from Donald Trump, who, may I remind you, allegedly paid sex workers to pee on a bed that Obama slept in out of spite. This is not the same thing as a golden shower. Kink is for smart people.

H is for Hard Limits
Hard limits are sexual acts that are off-limits. Everyone has their own, and you have to discuss these boundaries before any BDSM play. Use it in a sentence: “Please do not pee on me; golden showers are one of my hard limits.”

I is for Impact Play
Impact play refers to any impact on the body, such as spanking, caning, flogging, slapping, etc.

J is for Japanese Bondage
The most well-known type of Japanese bondage is Shibari, in which one partner ties up the other in beautiful and intricate patterns using rope. It’s a method of restraint, but also an art form.

K is for Knife Play
Knife play is, well, knife sex. It’s considered a form of edgeplay (our parents told us not to play with knives for a reason.) If you do play with knives, do it with someone who truly respects you and whom you trust. Often knife play doesn’t actually involve drawing blood, but is done more for the psychological thrill, such as gliding a knife along a partner’s body to induce an adrenaline rush. Call me a prude, but I wouldn’t advise it on a first Tinder date.

L is for Leather
The BDSM community enjoys leather as much as you’d expect. Leather shorts, leather paddles, and leather corsets are popular, although increasingly kinky retailers provide vegan options for their animal-loving geeks.

M is for Masochist
A masochist is someone who gets off on receiving sexual pain.

N is for Needle Play
Also a form of edgeplay (blood!), needle play means using needles on a partner. Hopefully those needles are sterile and surgical grade. Don’t do this with an idiot, please. Most professional dommes have clients who request or are into needle play. It can involve sticking a needle (temporarily) through an erogenous zone such as the nipple or… BACK AWAY NOW IF YOU’RE QUEASY… the shaft of the penis.

O is for Orgasm Denial
You know how sexual anticipation is hot AF? Orgasm denial is next-level sexual anticipation for those who love a throbbing clit or a boner that’s been hard forever just dying to get off—which is to say, almost everyone. The dominant partner will typically bring the submissive close or to the brink of orgasm, then stop. Repeat as necessary.

P is for Painslut
A painslut is a dope-ass submissive who knows what they want, and that’s pain, dammit.

Q is for Queening
Queening is when a woman, a.k.a. the queen you must worship, sits on your face. It’s just a glam name for face-sitting, often used in D/S play. Sometimes the queen will sit on her submissive’s face for like, hours.

R is for RACK
RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, which are the BDSM community guidelines on how to make sure everyone is aware of the dangers they consent to. Another set of guidelines are the “SSC,” which stresses keeping activities “safe, sane, and consensual.” We kinksters want everyone to feel happy and fulfilled, and only experience pain that they desire—without actual harm.

S is for Switch
A switch is someone who enjoys both the dominant and submissive role. Get thee a girl who can do both.

T is for Topping From The Bottom
Topping from the bottom refers to when a bottom (sub) gets bratty and tries to control the scene even though negotiations state they should submit. For example, a submissive male may start yelping at his domme that she’s not making him smell her feet exactly like he wants. It can be pretty annoying. It can also be part of the scene itself, such as if the submissive is roleplaying as a little girl with her daddy (this is called “age play”).

U is for Urination
Urinating means peeing (duh) and aside from pissing on a submissive’s face or in their mouth you can do other cool and consensual things with urine, like fill up an enema and inject it up someone’s butt! I am not a medical doctor.

V is for Vanilla
Vanilla refers to someone (or sex) that is not kinky. It’s okay if you’re vanilla. You’re normal and can still find meaningful love and relationships no matter how much society judges you.

W is for Wartenberg Wheel
A Wartenberg Wheel is a nifty little metal pinwheel that you can run over your partner’s nipples or other erogenous zones. It looks scary, but in a fun way, like the Addams Family. It can be used as part of medical play (doctor fetish) or just for the hell of it. Fun fact: It’s a real-life medical device created by neurologist Robert Wartenberg to test nerve reactions, but kinksters figured out it was good for the sex, too.

Y is for Yes!
BDSM is all about enthusiastic consent. The dominant partner won’t step on their submissive’s head and then shove it into a toilet without a big ole’ “yes, please!”

Z is for Zentai
Zentai is a skintight Japanese body suit typically made of spandex and nylon. It can cover the entire body, including the face. Dance teams or athletes may wear Zentai, but some people get off on the sensation of having their entire body bound in tight fabric, and wear it for kinky reasons.

Complete Article HERE!

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