Category Archives: Kink

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Cléo Dubois — Podcast #401 — 01/08/14


Hey sex fans, welcome back.

Hey everyone, HAPPY NEW YEAR! We’re all back from our winter holiday and we’re rarin’ to go. And I figure, CleoPortraitthere’s no better way to kick off the New Year than with a chat with a national treasure, especially for those of us on the sexual fringe. Yes siree, this here is the Sex EDGE-U-cation series, which brings you conversations with some of the most renowned talent in the world of fetish sex, kink, and alternative lifestyles.

Today, we travel to San Francisco to meet the incomparable Cléo Dubois.

Cléo describes herself as a BDSM coach, ritualist and personal trainer in the kinky arts. She is a woman of extraordinary wisdom and I am pleased to have this international celebrity on my show to kick off the new year. And wait till you get a load of her very sexy French accent. I guarantee, she will make you swoon.

Cléo and I discuss:

  • Our mutual friend, Eve Minax;
  • Her public and private life in the scene;
  • Dispelling the fear, coming out as kinky;
  • Depathologizing consensual BDSM;
  • Finding and embracing your erotic power-play archetype;
  • BDSM is all about intensity, energy, ritual, and communication;
  • The challenge of sexual exploration;
  • Common activity inserted into ritual changes everything;
  • Healing herself of the sexual and emotional abuse endured as a child;
  • The recreational, cathartic, and ecstatic aspects of BDSM.

You’ll find lots of information about Cléo on both one of these fantastic websites HERE and HERE. Her blog is HERE! And don’t miss her Twitter feed HERE and her YouTube channel HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Clueless

Name: Josh
Gender: Male
Age:
Location:
About a month ago I fell in love with a girl in another country and tried the long distance thing. It was not the best relationship. Stupid I know now, but when you’re in love…
I am a very sexual person and well that’s the problem. I enjoy anal, and want to try some BDSM but I have no idea where to look for a girl like this. I want someone who can be wild but knows when to be a good girl. I have no idea where to look for a girl like this. I have tired online sites but I don’t like them. Been having no luck on them and I do better face to face. So any suggestions?

Ahhh, you sound like a real charmer, Josh. I love how you perpetuate the whole madonna/whore dichotomy. You want a bad girl in the bedroom and a good girl in…what the kitchen? Sheesh, it’s no wonder you’ve been striking out.madonna_whore

Before your begin your search for a playmate, learn how to talk to a potential partner about what you want. If you’re gonna continue to be all Neanderthal in your communication you mind as well pull the plug on this endeavor right now. Don’t know the first thing about asking for what you want or getting what you ask for? I have just the resource for you. Pardon the shameless self-promotion, but I think you should check out The Gospel of Kink.  I wrote it, in part, for people just like you. It’s a primer on how to start, build, and maintain kinky and alt culture relationships through effective communication.

When you begin your search for this illusive partner you’ll need to let go of your very outmoded way of thinking about women and their sexuality. No self-respecting woman is gonna even consider hookin up with you if they first get a whiff of your sexism. And this is especially true for sexually liberated women, like those in the madonna:whoreworld of kink and BDSM.

And just in case you don’t think the dichotomous madonna/whore mindset isn’t a put-down, imagine if a woman came on to you like that. I want a big-dicked stud in the bedroom who also makes six figures in the boardroom.

Next I’d want to know what you mean when you say; “I enjoy anal…” Do you mean you like to get butt fucked, or you like fuckin’ chicks in the ass? The answer to this question will determine where and how you look for partners.

Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that it is you who wants to get fucked. More and more straight guys are gettin off on anal these days, ya know. I guess they’re discovering the joys of prostate stimulation, a thing the gays have known for fuckin’ forever. Anyhow, looking for a woman who knows her way around topping a man is pretty challenging; there aren’t a whole lot of them out there. Besides. it’s certainly not something most women would put in their online profile. You may be slightly more successful in your search if you put it out there. Perhaps you should make it real clear in your profile, that you like gettin’ pegged.

And here’s a tip: when you have special sexual needs, like the ones you have, Josh, you need to offer perspective partners something in return for their indulgence. Here’s where you need to understand the concept of “Give to Get?” You want something extraordinary? You’d better be willing to offer something extraordinary in return.men in pain

Start now by learning how to finesse the fuck you want. Like I said, most women are unaccustomed to being a top. And they’d feel pretty self-conscious with a strap-on. So in exchange for the unusual sex you are looking for, most women will want something in return. Most women would probably feel more comfortable exercising a kink in a relationship of some sort or another. Are you relationship material? Because if you are not the women you seek have little to gain from being kinky with you otherwise. You’re also gonna have to offer to buy your perspective partner the strap-on and/or all the other toys you might need to satisfy your pervy side.

Before you look to satisfying your special needs, I suggest that you first find out what turns your partner’s crank and get her warmed up before you spring your kink on her. Be prepared to do whatever it takes to make a lasting impression that you are not only in this for yourself. If it take some hugging, kissing and lots of oral sex…you’d better take care of business first. It’s the least you can do.

bondageRemember, there are all kinds of relationships — from fuck (pegging) buddies to marriage. Know how far you want to go to get the goodies you desire and then be straightforward with your perspective partner. If you lie or prevaricate just to get what you want; you are bigger asshole than I already think you are.

Now hookin up with the BDSM crowd will also be challenging, especially if you’re a novice and don’t know what the fuck you want. Here’s where I think you would do well to work with a professional dominatrix. Even if you ultimately want to be a Dom yourself, I suggest that you learn the ropes, as it were, at the foot of a pro. And don’t expect this education to be inexpensive. Once you’ve found the dominatrix of your dreams, ask her to introduce you to the local BDSM scene. And if you’re not a complete douche, she’ll probably be willing to do so.

Like I said, you will need an entree into the scene, and there’s no one better situated to help you gain entrance than someone well established in the community. If you play your cards right, you may find what you are looking for.

And last but not least, be a gentleman about all of this. You can screw up the whole mess if you don’t have your head in the right space. Power play, and that’s what where talking about when we’re talkin’ BDSM, is more about the mindset than the genitals.

Good luck

More Sex EDGE-U-cation with Eve Minax — Podcast #398 — 11/20/13


Hey sex fans, welcome back.smartypants

She’s back! Author, educator, activist, coach, and pro Domme, Eve Minax, is back with us today for another go-round on this Sex EDGE-U-cation show.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #397 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Eve and I discuss:

  • Sm-arts.com;
  • D/s, fantasy/role playing and hard sex workshops;
  • Why the weekend intensives;
  • Becoming Eve;
  • The derivation of her chosen name;
  • Making family;
  • Sex positive and kink aware healing and helping professionals;
  • TSHRA — The Alternative Sexualities Health Research Alliance;
  • KAP — Kink Aware Professionals.

You’ll find lots of information about Eve on each one of these fantastic websites HERE, HERE, and HERE! And don’t miss her Twitter feed HERE!

Click on the book art below to check out Eve’s latest book.

Bondassage

 

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Eve Minax — Podcast #397 — 11/13/13


Hey sex fans, welcome back.

A little over a month ago, the Sex EDGE-U-cation series brought us to the Bay Area. Which, as you probably know, is like ground zero for some of the most renowned talent in the world of fetish sex, kink, and alternative lifestyles. Today, we EfficientEducatorreturn to that neck of the woods, but instead of Berkeley, CA we head straight for San Francisco. Ok, so straight might not be the best way of putting it, because we’re gonna be visiting with one of that city’s most notorious kinksters. My guest is author, educator, activist, coach, and pro Domme, the oh so delightful Eve Minax!

I’d say that Eve is as smart as a whip, but that wouldn’t even tell you half the story. That’s because she is also as funny as all get-out. I dare you to stick around and let Eve shake your world.

Eve and I discuss:
Her moniker, The Approachable Pervert;
Being in sin city for the AVN awards;
Becoming Mistress Minax;
I’m a clown/I’m a Domme;
Bondassage: Kinky Erotic Massage Tips for Lovers;
The essential energetic connections in BDSM;
Transcendence for the sexual outlaw,
The essence of energy exchange;
Psychic-waste management;
Dom/sub archetypes and Dom/sub pheromones.

You’ll find lots of information about Eve on each one of these fantastic websites HERE, HERE, and HERE! And don’t miss her Twitter feed HERE!

Click on the book art below to check out Eve’s latest book.

Bondassage

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Oh The Humanity

Name: Ron
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Florida
So to start I am completely straight. So I don’t understand why about two years ago I attempted to give myself fellatio. And after I came out of my horny rage I realized what happened and have felt totally disgusted and mad at myself since then. And now every time I masturbate I relive that horrible day in my head. As I said I’m straight and secure in that fact but is it normal. Do other straight men attempt this?

Here’s a little something I’ve learned over the years, sex fans. Anytime someone starts off his message to me with the words “…I’m completely straight” I can absolutely guarantee that he’s not absolutely straight!Im-Not-Gay-Poster

I don’t care what follows the dreaded words, “I’m completely straight” because, regardless of what the person says next; I already know that my correspondent is scared shitless that deep down inside he’s a big fat flamin’ gay homosexual, don’t cha know. And that goes double for you, Ron.

Here’s a tip ya’ll: no completely straight guy would ever let the first thing out of his mouth be “I’m completely straight.” No completely straight guy would ever feel the need to say that, because he would be totally confident that everyone already knew that.

So Ron, just listen to yourself, why don’t ‘cha already. A man who is comfortable in his own skin, regardless of his sexual preferences, is not gonna freak out in disgust and anger when he explores the amazing capacities of his own body, even if that involves tryin’ to blow himself.

However, a dude who has something to hide, a fella who has a little secret, a stud who is afraid of what might be lurking inside; now that guy is gonna freak out…just like you did, Ron. And not only did you start out your question with that ill advised comment, you went out of your way to tell me again how “straight and secure” you are at the end of your message. And now you can’t even pull your pud without being horrified by this one insignificant incident. I can smell your internalized homophobia from here, darling.

Had you spared me the editorial comment about “being completely straight” and just started out by saying that you tried to blow yourself one day and then got confused to its possible meaning, if it had any meaning at all. Then I would have been able to tell you that men of every possible sexual predilection at one time or another either try or fantasize about giving themselves a hummer. It’s the fuckin’ Holy Grail of self-pleasuring, honey.

So you can relax, girlfriend, your secret is safe with me. It’s too bad about the jerkin’ off thing, though. Imagine never being able to grab your piece in peace. Imagine being reminded of your horrible little secret every time you want to hand yourself a little, much needed relief. Can’t honestly say I’d want to live like that. But if you do…

Good luck

Name: Steve
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Philly
This has been a question on my mind for quite some time. I’ve searched all over the internet, but can’t find an answer. A friend of mine directed me to your website, and spoke very highly of you.
So here’s my question: If you drank someone’s urine after they’ve used narcotics (cocaine, marijuana, etc.) would these substances then show up in your own urine analysis drug test?
Recently I met someone and we both played with watersports. And of course, we began to drink it. Afterward he mentioned that he like to ‘dabble with pot’ now and then. He didn’t seem high at the time; of course we had been drinking a lot of beer.
I get tested for narcotics at my place of work. These tests are random tests given by the government. Failing a drug test could lead to losing my job, and now I’m so paranoid about this.
I hope to hear back from you, with any advice you may have. I have a feeling I’ll be taking more caution with this in the future.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this email.

I’ve written and spoken a lot about watersports in the past. If you check out the CATEGORIES pull-down menu in the sidebar, you’ll find all the postings and/or podcasts there. You’ll find watersports under the KINK category.

The short answer to your question is: “Prospective pee drinkers should be aware that there are numerous drugs, both pharmaceutical and recreational, that pass through the body either only partly metabolized or entirely un-metabolized; like those nasty amphetamines and their derivatives. Cocaine also falls under the rubric. So it’s all together possible to get really high from drinking a druggie’s piss.”

Just remember, my friend, you are what you consume…at the dinner table or the urinal.

If you are worried about random drug tests, I suggest that you don’t drink the pee you’re playin’ with. Enjoy the watersports till your heart’s content, just don’t swallow.

Good luck

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