— Here’s what science says about what your body goes through during the big moment.
By Izzie Price
Orgasms form a fundamental part of the human experience. They’re a natural biological process and are likely to take up a fair amount of time in our heads—whether we love them or fret about them.
How often have you worried that the sex was terrible because you or your partner didn’t orgasm? If you’re a woman, how many times have you worried that it “didn’t count” as an orgasm because you didn’t ejaculate?
More importantly, though, do you even know what’s going on in your body when you orgasm? Do you know about the many health benefits orgasms offer? Do you even know what an orgasm is?
What follows is a look into the science behind an orgasm, including the physicality of what’s happening. In addition, experts debunk some common orgasm myths.
What happens to your body during an orgasm?
“Orgasm, or sexual climax, is the peak of sexual excitement,” said Alyssa Dweck, M.D., a gynecologist in Westchester County, New York, and a sexual health and reproductive expert for Intimina, a brand of products focused on women’s intimate health. “Orgasm results in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvis—that is the uterus, vagina and anus. There are also elevated pulse and blood pressure, and rapid breathing.”
Dweck emphasized the psychological implications of orgasm related to the brain, including its release of the following:
- Dopamine, which is the pleasure hormone
- Oxytocin, which is the cuddling and bonding hormone
- Serotonin, which is involved with mood, cognition, reward and memory
- Endorphins, which influence pain perception, relaxation and mood enhancement
Sounds pretty good, right? What happens in your body that results in this physical and psychological burst of pleasure and excitement?
The process of orgasm can be broken down into four separate phases—arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution—according to Masters and Johnson’s Human Sexual Response Cycle course.
“The excitement or arousal phase can last minutes or hours,” said Rachel Wright, M.A., L.M.F.T., a New York-based psychotherapist and host of “The Wright Conversations Podcast.” “Muscles get a little tense, your vagina may get wet, your skin may get flushed, your heart rate and breathing accelerating, your nipples may become hard and the breasts are becoming fuller.
“A penis will become erect and the vaginal walls will swell. The testes swell, the scrotum tightens and often the penis will secrete a lubricating liquid.”
It’s safe to say, then, that there’s a lot going on in the body when we get aroused. Things don’t slow down when we reach the plateau phase, either. Wright described it as “the excitement intensifying right up to orgasm in which the vagina swells from blood flow.”
The vaginal walls turn dark purple during this stage, Wright added. Then there’s the main event, which is the shortest phase of all.
“Some indicators of orgasm include involuntary muscle contractions, a rash or ‘sex flush,’ muscles in your feet may spasm, and you might feel a sudden or forceful release of sexual tension,” she said. “Your blood pressure and heart rate are at their highest rate at this point.”
For men, an orgasm triggers similar rhythmic contractions at the base of the penis. They result in the semen being released.
Are orgasms good for you?
The sheer amount of physiology associated with orgasms and the number of feel-good chemicals produced in the brain as a result seem to indicate orgasms are a biological necessity. Are they?
Dweck pointed to one study that indicated orgasms are perceived to improve sleep outcomes. Other health benefits include improved mood and increased life expectancy. This is all good but it has to be said: Orgasms are not essential.
“We don’t need orgasms, but they sure do feel good to have,” said Lyndsey Murray, a licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist in Hurst, Texas. “I don’t like to put any pressure on having an orgasm because a lot of people feel like they are doing something wrong when orgasm isn’t achieved. When we take the pressure off having one, our bodies can respond naturally and lead to orgasms all on their own without us overthinking it.”
Orgasm myths and misconceptions
The orgasm gap—the high rate of male orgasms as compared to female orgasms—is real. But there are all kinds of myths and misconceptions about why those numbers aren’t closer together. Mostly, this is because of a lack of basic understanding of the female body and, subsequently, how it can reach and experience orgasm.
“The biggest misconception I note in clinical practice is the myth that vaginal penetration/intercourse always leads to orgasm when, in fact, clitoral stimulation is typically needed, and upwards of 70 percent of women won’t achieve orgasm through intercourse alone,” Dweck said.
The misconception that vaginal penetration always results in a female orgasm takes us to another common myth: “If an orgasm isn’t happening, there must be something wrong,” Murray said.
Not so. There could also be a technique issue at play, such as there being no clitoral stimulation.
“There may be sexual dysfunction that requires professional help. But it could also be performance anxiety getting in the way or maybe you just haven’t explored enough yet to figure out your own body,” she said. “I never like to use terms like ‘wrong’ or ‘failure,’ but instead, disappointment. If you’re disappointed with your sexual activity, focus on fun, pleasure and exploration.”
The biggest orgasm myth, according to Wright, focuses on physical evidence of sex taking place: “That there is only one kind [of sex] and there’s always ejaculation,” she said.
There can be 12 different ways for women to orgasm, she explained, which includes clitoral, vaginal, cervical and nipple orgasms. For men, she noted that orgasms can take the form of a wet dream, blended (whole body) or pelvic orgasms, as well as ejaculatory orgasms.
How can we improve societal attitudes toward orgasms?
Orgasms are great, sure, but they’re not the only thing that makes sex feel good. Sex is more holistic than that, and we need to enjoy orgasms without holding them up as the essential end result.
“The societal attitude I see most of is either orgasms mean great sex or no orgasm means the sex sucked,” Murray said. “I disagree with both sentiments. Usually what happens is someone feels like they failed themselves or their partner(s) if an orgasm didn’t happen. The next time they have sex, it becomes an over-focus on orgasm and no longer about fun, pleasure and intimacy.”
We should be talking more about the entire sexual experience and not the shortest part of the whole thing, Wright explained.
“In all the sexual response cycles, the orgasm is the shortest part, and yet we put so much focus on it. Sometimes, all the focus,” she said. “Try to focus on the experience and, instead of attaching everything to an orgasmic outcome, pay attention and focus on the experience. The experience is the pleasure.”
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