— Sexual Health Experts Explain What It Is and How to Do It
Get ready to unlock a new level of pleasure.
When you’re really in the mood, reaching the big O can feel a little short-lived, or even underwhelming. And although people with vulvas are more capable of experiencing multiple orgasms in a small window of time than those with penises, both parties can spice things up and prolong the fun by practicing edging—a sexual technique that is essentially the biggest tease of your life. Keep reading to find the answers to: “What is edging?” and “How do you edge properly?”<
Meet the Experts: Sophia Murphy, L.P.C., a licensed therapist, certified sex coach, and director of wellness at TBD Health; Carolyn Delucia, M.D., OB-GYN, F.A.C.O.G., and luminary in the field of women’s sexual health, and Natasha Marie Narkiewicz, sexual wellness expert and head of communications at MysteryVibe.
What is edging?
To use The Price Is Right logic, edging is getting as close as possible—to climaxing, that is—without going over. “Edging is the ability to delay orgasm by choice,” explains Sophia Murphy, L.P.C., a licensed therapist, certified sex coach, and director of wellness at TBD Health. “Scientifically, this can be defined as an extension of the plateau phase, which is part of the human sexual response cycle as identified by [William] Masters and [Virginia] Johnson in 1966.”
The plateau phase is characterized by increased arousal—it follows the excitement phase (a.k.a. foreplay) and precedes orgasm, Murphy explains. In other words, edging is “when someone is able to extend their period of arousal to the point of being on the edge of orgasm.”
Why edge, you might ask? It’s essentially to build anticipation, and ideally, pleasure. After edging a few times, the idea is to “completely surrender to an orgasm of higher intensity than previously imagined,” explains Carolyn Delucia, M.D., OB-GYN, F.A.C.O.G., and luminary in the field of women’s sexual health.
Edging benefits
You may be confused about how suspense in the bedroom would be helpful—but there are quite a few perks:
Prolonged pleasure
While more research is needed to solidify any medical benefits of edging, the upside is, well, it makes for a good time. “[Edging] is a popular sexual technique in an attempt to heighten intensity and fun,” says Dr. Delucia.
Possible intensified orgasm
“Some individuals find that edging leads to a more intense and powerful orgasm from prolonged anticipation and arousal build-up,” says Natasha Marie Narkiewicz, sexual wellness expert and head of communications at MysteryVibe. However, there is little research to back this up.
Increased body awareness and understanding
“Edging can be a great way for people to gain an intimate understanding of their arousal patterns and sexual responsiveness, which translates to better command of their bodies,” explains Narkiewicz. Murphy adds that when you take your time and remove the pressure to orgasm, you can give yourself permission to fully experience your body. “You can learn more about how it changes, how it moves through the sexual response cycle, what works best, and you might even surprise yourself,” she says.
Potentially strengthened pelvic floor muscles
“Some edging techniques involve pelvic floor exercises similar to Kegels,” or an intentional contraction of the pelvic floor, explains Narkiewicz. Research shows that pelvic floor muscle strength is positively correlated with sexual function, especially with age.
Premature ejaculation help
Dr. Delucia says edging—via the start-stop method or squeezing the tip of the penis (more on that later)—is “very effective” in helping men and penis owners who experience premature ejaculation (PE) grow more aware of their arousal patterns and therefore, gain more ejaculatory control. Research has documented this as a form of potential treatment for PE.
Enhanced couple communication
If you practice edging with a partner, the session will require in-depth communication to let them know how stimulation is progressing, which makes it a great exercise in connection. “Unless you’ve set specific parameters for a partner to be in charge of your orgasm, be sure to speak up while edging to ensure your needs and boundaries are being met,” Murphy adds.
Edging side effects
Some research suggests that edging in people with penises may cause epididymal hypertension (EH), commonly known as “blue balls”—a phenomenon in which restricted orgasm causes pain. “This is not a scientific medical condition, and while it may be uncomfortable for penis and testicle owners, will not cause permanent damage,” says Murphy. “Semen will go back into the body if not ejaculated.”
Dr. Delucia adds that EH is “rare” but “very uncomfortable.” If you experience it, her tip is to try and reverse it by holding your nose, closing your mouth, and exhaling forcefully (like you would to pop your ears), also known as Valsalva. That technique is under-researched, though.
How do you edge properly?
How you practice edging will depend on your anatomy and how you prefer to achieve orgasm. However, there is one tip that’s universal, which is the need for transparent communication when edging with a partner.
“If one partner is not into this type of sex play then do not entertain it,” Dr. Delucia says. “Communication of where your partner is in the arousal phases is [also] important to understand.” After all, if you don’t know where they are in the sexual response cycle, things may not go as planned.
Now, for a few anatomy-specific tips.
Edging tips for people with vulvas:
- Experiment with arousal and foreplay: This stage may change depending on if you’re solo or with a partner, but Murphy recommends engaging multiple senses to heat things up—be that watching something spicy, listening to erotica, or touching other parts of your body first to get the energy going. “The whole body, the nape of the neck, the nipples, may be erogenous,” adds Dr. Delucia.
- Find your stimulation of choice: “Explore what touch is most arousing and how your body responds from start to finish,” explains Murphy. Some people prefer clitoral stimulation over vaginal penetration and vise-versa, then there are varying pressures to consider. “The most important thing is learning what works for you,” she adds. Dr. Delucia says using a sex toy with different intensities like a wand vibrator “to better explore the areas in the vagina that have extra sensation” may help.
- Embrace fantasy: There’s nothing wrong with tapping into your imagination. “If you are alone, when you are on the precipice, snap out of the fantasy and allow the heart rate to return to normal and then begin again,” Dr. Delucia recommends.
Edging tips for people with penises:
- Fantasize: Dr. Delucia’s fantasy advice applies here too—tease yourself (and/or your partner) with a story you can’t resist. Then try to resist it.
- Change positions: “If practicing edging during sexual intercourse, try changing positions when you feel close,” suggests Narkiewicz. “This adjustment will provide a few seconds of a natural pause in stimulation and cadence to regain composure.”
- Change your touch pattern: “One of the best ways to edge a penis is to squeeze the tip,” says Dr. Delucia. Or, go for an area that’s highly sensitive—“for most men this is the area just below the glans,” Delucia adds, and when you’re almost there, stop. “This should be fun and allow you to learn more about your own arousal patterns to eventually give you more control of your tipping point,” Dr. Delucia says.
How do you know when to stop edging?
“Once you’ve strengthened your relationship with yourself, you’ll be more aware of your boundaries,” says Murphy. “If you feel uncomfortable, unsafe during partnered sex, or find negative emotions like distress, panic, or dread coming up, trust yourself to take a break. If it becomes difficult to reach orgasm when you desire, it may also be helpful to take a break from edging.”
Put simply, Dr. Delucia says you decide when you’re through: “Stop when you or your partner have had enough.”
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