— When thinking about orgasms, many of us associate them with feelings of pleasure. However, this isn’t always the case. Research has found that people experience bad orgasms, even during consensual sexual activity. Let’s explore how these orgasms can happen and the reasons they occur.
- A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that many people had experienced a bad orgasm during consensual sexual activity, adversely affecting their sexuality, relationships, and mental health.
- Reasons for bad orgasms included weak orgasms due to societal emphasis on orgasms, narrow gender roles and sexual scripts, poor intimacy, painful orgasms, shame and guilt about sex, gender dysphoria, and racial fetishization.
- People can manage physical and emotional needs related to bad orgasms by seeking safety, using at-home treatments such as heat or ice packs, and communicating with their partners.
Do bad orgasms happen?
Although orgasms are typically thought of as pleasurable experiences, research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicates that people engaging in consensual sexual activities can actually experience bad orgasms.
The study surveyed 726 participants about past sexual experiences where they may have felt pressure to have sex, pressure to orgasm, or agreed to sex they didn’t really desire. The findings revealed that around 55% of participants had experienced a bad orgasm in such situations.
These types of orgasms were found to have adverse effects on the participant’s sexuality, relationships, and mental health.
Reasons why people experience a bad orgasm
The study found that there were multiple reasons that people experienced a bad orgasm.
Weak orgasm
Some people in the study reported that their orgasms were weaker and less pleasurable than they had in the past. A reason for this occurring could be the emphasis that we as a society put on orgasms as the defining ending of sex, as well as an indicator of its success. Attempting to have an orgasm, even when we’re not really into it, could cause orgasms to be weaker.
Narrow gender roles and sexual scripts
Similar to the reasons above, some participants in the study found that narrow gender roles and sexual scripts led to negative orgasms. Some women within the study felt pressured to orgasm to please their partners, and men also experienced unpleasurable orgasms due to these narrow gender roles and sexual scripts.
Some participants stated that they felt pressured to perform and meet the unrealistic stereotypes of being able to orgasm easily or always wanting sex. Additionally, some bisexual men felt pressure to orgasm when having sex with a woman to not be perceived as gay, which resulted in a bad orgasm.
Poor intimacy
Other study participants claimed that orgasms with a partner without a close intimate connection were unpleasant. A bad physical and emotional connection with a partner may make it difficult for some to fully relax and let go during sexual activity, hindering the ability to reach orgasm or making it less pleasurable.
Painful orgasms
Some participants stated that the reason for their bad orgasms was pain. While pain during orgasms can indicate sexual dysfunction, many participants in the study attributed their pain to specific circumstances, such as their bodies not being sufficiently aroused for sex, being too tired, or the orgasm taking too long to occur.
Shame and guilt
Other participants attributed their bad orgasms to their shame and guilt about sex due to religious and sociocultural factors.
Gender dysphoria
Gender dysphoria, particularly for transgender individuals, was identified as another reason for unpleasant orgasms. For some, an orgasm served as an anxious reminder of the mismatch between their biological sex and their gender identity, leading to an unpleasant orgasm.
Fetishization
People of color who participated in the study reported that racial fetishization caused moral conflicts about the sexual experience, leading to negative orgasms.
Other reasons people may experience a bad orgasm
Aside from the reasons mentioned above, some sexual dysfunctions can cause an orgasm to feel bad or unpleasant.
Anorgasmia
Anorgasmia is characterized by delayed, infrequent, or absent orgasms or experiencing orgasms that are significantly less intense, even after being sexually aroused and adequately stimulated. It can happen to people of all sexes, although it is less common in people with penises.
For people with a vulva, it is a symptom of sexual dysfunction — female orgasmic disorder, while in penis owners, it is likely a symptom of delayed ejaculation. Anorgasmia is caused by several factors, including stress, depression, anxiety, relationship factors, menopause, and certain medications.
Anhedonia
Anhedonia is a rare condition characterized by the inability to experience pleasure from an orgasm. This phenomenon is commonly observed in individuals with penises and is sometimes referred to as “pleasure dissociative orgasmic dysfunction” or “ejaculatory anhedonia.” Despite being able to ejaculate normally, individuals with anhedonia do not experience any pleasure during the act.
While they may achieve an erection and recognize that they are having an orgasm, the neural pathways in their brain responsible for interpreting these sensations as pleasurable are absent. The cause of the disorder is unknown, but for most people suffering from sexual anhedonia, it is unlikely that it will be permanent.
What to do if you experience a bad orgasm?
Depending on the reason for your bad orgasm, there are different methods to help you manage any physical or emotional needs.
- Seek safety. If you feel unsafe for any reason, it’s important that you seek safety as soon as you can do so safely.
- Use at-home treatments. If the cause of your bad orgasm was pain, you could use at-home remedies such as an ice pack and a heat pack to help alleviate the pain. If you have a small tear on the genitals, place an ice pack on the affected area to help with the pain. If you experience pelvic pain, a heat pack on the lower part of the stomach will help.
- Communicate. If you feel pressured into having an orgasm to please your partner, you should communicate this to them so that you can work on ways to increase pleasure in further sexual experiences.
Many people will experience a bad orgasm in their lifetime. However, if you consistently experience them, it’s an indication that you may need to speak to a doctor along with a mental health professional, such as a sex therapist, in order to understand why it’s happening, and work out an individual treatment plan, to prevent it from happening in the future.
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