For starters, it *doesn’t* mean you’re bisexual.

By Emily Becker

Gender is a spectrum, so there are a ton of ways you can choose to identify yourself—a.k.a. you’re not limited to just “female” and “male.” In addition to terms like non-binary, genderfluid, and pangender becoming more commonly used, one term you may also have been hearing recently is “bigender.”

In its most basic definition, being bigender means that you identify with having two genders. What those two genders are and how those two genders show up in the way you express yourself is entirely up to you—and isn’t the same from one bigender individual to another. As a gender identity (as opposed to a sexual identity or orientation), the term also doesn’t indicate who someone might be attracted to.

If you’re looking to learn more about the topic, here’s everything you need to know about what it means to be bigender, including how someone might express their bigender identity and how you can support the bigender community, according to expert sources.

What does it mean to be bigender?

Within the definition of bigender, there are many ways to experience the identity, and anyone who identifies as two genders (regardless of what those two genders are) would fall on the bigender spectrum.

“It is important to recognize that just because someone identifies with two genders does not mean those gender identities are man and woman. Being bigender can also include non-binary identities, for example, male and agender, or agender and androgenous, etc.” says Erynn Besser, LCPC and AASECT-certified sex therapist. “There are many different gender identities with which people may identify within the bigender identity.”

The bigender identity is usually grouped under the umbrella of non-binary (more on that later). “To be bigender means having two gender identities that can be experienced and expressed separately, or that can blend and be experienced simultaneously,” explains Paula Leech, LMFT, an AASECT-certified sex therapist. How a person experiences and expresses their two genders can also be dependent on different situations, adds sex therapist Alex Chinks, PsyD.

During times when someone may appear to be expressing one gender exclusively, it’s important to recognize that the second gender doesn’t just disappear from their identity during those times. “You may see a bigender individual who dresses and ‘appears’ completely cis-gendered,” Chinks explains. “That does not mean that their other gender identity is not a part of them and who they are.” Got that down?

What is the difference between bigender, non-binary, genderfluid, pangender, and bisexual?

While these are all terms that you might hear in a similar context as bigender, they are all their own unique identities.

• Non-binary: Someone who is non-binary feels their experience of their gender does not feel like an accurate reflection of the gender they were assigned at birth, specifically male or female, says Leech. It is also a larger category of gender identities under which bigender falls.
• Genderfluid: Someone who identifies as genderfluid would see gender as more of an expansive, ever-changing concept, Leech explains. For a genderfluid person, gender identity is an idea that is constantly shifting as they grow.
• Pangender: While someone who is bigender feels they identify as two genders, someone who is pangender feels they encompass multiple, or even all genders, according to Leech.
• Bisexual: A sexual orientation, someone who is bisexual experiences “sexual and/or romantic attraction to people who are of the same gender and people who have a different gender than your own,” Wendasha Jenkins Hall, PhD, a sex educator and researcher based in Atlanta previously told Women’s Health. This means someone could be both bigender and bisexual, but they don’t have to be.

What does being bigender look like?

Because the bigender experience can vary greatly (like all gender identities, TBH), there’s no one way to express being bigender, and you should celebrate your identity in the way that feels best for you.

“It is important to recognize that each person’s expression of their gender identity is unique to them, and there is no ‘right’ way for someone to express their gender identity, including the amount of time one expresses a particular identity,” says Besser. Plus, those who have a bigender identity may express their multiple identities at the same time or separately.

Someone who is bigender may display that identity through dress and use of pronouns, explains Chinks, who also adds that “it is important to remember the fluid nature that can arise with being bigender, meaning that an individual may use one set of pronouns at one point in time or in one situation, and another at another point.”

Simply put, there’s no one set of pronouns that a bigender person typically uses. Instead of guessing based on appearance, your best bet is to ask someone which pronouns they prefer.

Signs that you might be bigender:

While the term is a relatively new way to express gender identity, there are certainly people who have had feelings of being bigender long before there was a word to describe it. The following list includes some (though certainly not all) of the ways you can experience being bigender, if you’re curious:

1. You move between two distinct ways of expressing yourself. This can be how you display emotionally, psychologically, physically, and/or spiritually, Leech says.
2. You experience gender dysphoria. Chinks explains the idea of gender dysphoria as the feeling that “the way I feel inside is not aligning with my outward or biologically-assigned gender.” The concept used to be strongly associated with someone who is transgender, Chinks adds, but in terms of the bigender identity, someone might be born male and be comfortable with that male identity, but also feel like there is a feminine side to their gender identity that needs to be honored, too.
3. You have feelings of gender euphoria. According to Besser, gender euphoria is “a feeling of joy, empowerment, and comfort when your gender identity and expression is affirmed.” For bigender individuals, this could be when you start to display two sides of your gender and it finally feels like something clicks for you.

How to support bigender loved ones and greater community:

No matter your personal gender identity, there are ways that you can do your part to make your communities more inclusive:

• Don’t make assumptions. You may have a close friend or family member who is bigender, but that doesn’t mean you know what they’re going through at all times. Leech says that it’s important not to let previous experience or generalizations prevent you from “being curious, really learning about [the identity], and coming to understand the person in front of you and what they uniquely need.”
• Ask questions. The best way to find out how you can support someone or what they need from you? Ask. Especially when it comes to which pronouns they prefer. This is much more respectful than assuming you know the answer, Chinks explains.
• Learn more. It’s not on someone who is bigender to teach you everything about the identity. “Become an ally by doing your own education in order to avoid education burdening,” says Besser. There are plenty of resources online to get you started. (Like this comprehensive and expert-approved gender identity list on Women’s Health.)
• State your pronouns. When you start a Zoom meeting by stating your pronouns or include them in your email signature, you are “opening the door” for those who are bigendered or non-binary to share theirs, Chinks explains. This, in turn, helps to normalize the idea that gender is a spectrum, a spectrum on which everyone is just trying to understand their place.

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