— The reason why you find it difficult to orgasm

Understanding why you find it difficult to orgasm is key to finding a solution.

TV shows especially romcoms make it look like orgasm is a given for everyone who engages in sex. But for a lot of people, reaching the peak of sexual pleasure is not an experience they often get during intercourse. If you have difficulty climaxing regardless of how much sexual stimulation you get, you might have a condition called anorgasmia.

What is anorgasmia?

It is a well established fact that the frequency and intensity of orgasms vary from one person to the other, so is the type of stimulation needed to get people off. According to Mayo Clinic, anorgasmia may be responsible for some people, especially women, not having orgasm during sex.

Anorgasmia is delayed, infrequent or absent orgasms — or significantly less-intense orgasms — after sexual arousal and adequate sexual stimulation. Women who have problems with orgasms and who feel significant distress about those problems may be diagnosed with anorgasmia.

The emphasis here is on the word ‘distress’. So, for a diagnosis of anorgasmia to be made, a person who is unable to orgasm may also exhibit feelings of frustration, self-doubt, shame, inadequacy and anger, according to Healthline.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th Edition (DSM-5), states that people can be diagnosed with anorgasmia if they experience significant ‘delay in, infrequency of, or absence of orgasm’ during at least 75% of sexual intercourse for a minimum of six months. Certified sex therapist Diana Urman, Ph.D. explains:

…generally speaking, any difficulties with achieving orgasm over a short or extended period of time can be called anorgasmia without having a medical professional to diagnose it.

Without seeking medical examination, you can tell if you have the condition based on these factors listed in an article on MindBodyGreen:

Consider whether you’ve ever had an orgasm: If you orgasm during certain situations like masturbation, oral sex or sex with other partners, then an absence of an orgasm could be situational.
Consider the breadth of your sexual experiences: what form of stimulation do you require, what positions do you find enjoyable, what type of sex gets you off (rough, sensual or tantric sex)?

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