By Aidan Milan
Dipping a toe into the world of polyamory for the first time can be equal parts exciting and daunting.
But with a recent survey by Lovehoney finding that one in four Brits say they would consider an open relationship (27%), it’s not that uncommon a desire.
Whether you know you want to give it a try or you’re just curious, Ness Cooper, a sexologist at The Sex Consultant, has got five key tips on successfully navigating an open relationship.
Establish the boundaries of your open relationship
First things first: set those ground rules.
‘Learn about which roles you have within your relationship dynamic,’ says Ness.
‘Are you opening up your relationship to have multiple romantic partners, or are you hoping that you and your partner just see others for causal sex and erotic play?’
Communication is key
Boundaries are unlikely to be a one-time, one-size-fits-all conversation.
‘Communication about boundaries is vital,’ explains Ness, ‘but it is also important to understand that different partners will often have different boundaries.
‘Everyone will have varied sexual and relational boundaries, and learning about these can help avoid upsetting the relationship dynamics you have going on.’
Respect each other’s privacy
There’s a difference between secrecy and privacy.
Ness explains: ‘Some individuals may be happier to talk or hear about their partner’s connection with other play partners than others.
‘It is therefore important to understand exactly what your partner is comfortable with hearing.’
Talk about time management
Adding people to your love life means you’ll be juggling even more in your calendar.
‘It can be easy to mismanage time between multiple partners or even time away for casual hook-ups,’ says Ness.
‘Making a schedule with your primary partner [if you have one] and other partners is key to avoiding jealousy and double booking date nights and other intimate activities.’
Ensure you discuss safety
Another vital logistical aspect of opening up a relationship is talking safe sex.
‘It is important to also consider safey aspects,’ says Ness, ‘from meeting new play partners to using safe sex methods such as condoms, it’s important you have these discussions with your partner when opening up your relationship.
‘Getting screened for STIs regularly can also be helpful to add reassurance.’
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