The best lesbian sex positions will spice up your sex life
Trying out the best lesbian sex positions could take your sex life to a whole new level. Expect pleasure, intimacy, and mind-blowing orgasms with our expert-approved positions.
When it comes to lesbian sex, there’s a lot more to it than both partners just using their favorite vibrator. But, with so little education on queer sex available from traditional sex education sources, many people who identify as women find it difficult to define what counts as sex when hooking up with people of the same gender.
In most cases, sex education is heteronormative and takes a gender binary perspective which can be exclusionary of queer sex and lesbian sex. “Our first formal ideas about sex are that sex is when a man puts his penis in a woman’s vagina. This excludes anyone who is not a heterosexual cisgender person and creates a restrictive view of what sex is,” says Isabelle Uren, an expert at sex blog Bed Bible.
When we approach sex from a non-biased perspective, things become clearer. Sexual Health Doctor Dr. Eleanor Draeger says, “I would define any activity that could pass on a Sexually Transmitted Infection as sex. Which means that vaginal sex, anal sex and oral sex all count as lesbian sex, as does penetration with something other than a penis, such as fingers, or a sex toy.”
There are plenty of myths about lesbian sex that also might affect what women having sex with other women think are the best sex positions. The most prevalent is that scissoring or tribbing AKA the act of rubbing one’s vulva against someone else’s is the only way to enjoy lesbian sex. Followed by the idea that in order to enjoy sex fully, one person must assume the role of ‘the man.’
Lesbian sex or sex between two people who identify as women is far more varied and enjoyable than the myths suggest. “There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to sex,” says Patricia, Co-Founder of sex toy company Vibio. “The best lesbian sex positions are those that are comfortable and allow our bodies to relax and focus on the sensations.”
It’s all about trying different positions and finding out the one that works for you. And this is where the fun begins!
Best sex positions for blended orgasms
“The key to blended orgasms is simple,” says Patricia. “A good mix of internal and external stimulation.” If you use rabbit vibrators, you’ll be familiar with blended orgasms. They are caused by a mix of stimulation to different areas of the body and are considered by experts to be the most intense type of orgasm.
Clitoral and internal stimulation from penetration is the most widely known combination, but blended orgasms can also come from anal penetration or nipple stimulation, amongst others. “Not everyone will be able to have a blended orgasm,” says Dr. Draeger. “But the best way to achieve one would be to get yourself into a position where you and/or your partner can stimulate more than one of the erogenous zones at the same time.”
1. MISSIONARY
How to do it: Whether we’re talking hetero or lesbian sex positions, missionary is a timeless classic for a reason. The receiving partner can relax and focus on the sensations, and the giving partner in top also has easy access to their partner’s vulva.
Why it’s great: The missionary position is great for manual clitoral stimulation, oral sex, or penetrative sex with fingers or a dildo, depending on what both partners feel comfortable with.
Make it sexier: Try propping up the receiver with a pillow or wedge for easier access to the receiver’s vulva and deeper penetration for access to the g-spot. The receiving partner lies on their back with their hips propped up while the giving partner lies between their partner’s legs and stimulates the whole vulva, including the labia and clitoris. When ready, they can insert their fingers or a dildo into their partner’s vagina. To maximize g-spot stimulation, they can use a ‘come here’ motion on the front wall of their partner’s vagina.
2. SIDEWAYS 69
How to do it: The 69 but not as you know it. In fact, this variation is much more comfortable for all involved. Instead of one partner being on top, both partners lie on their sides, facing opposite directions with their legs open. Using lips and tongues to stimulate the whole vulva during oral sex.
Why it’s great: “There’s a reason the 69 is sex position royalty. There’s something so crazily arousing about the responsiveness of this position—the more pleasure you feel, the more intensely you pleasure your partner,” says Patricia.
Make it sexier: A modified 69 position is perfect for kissing, licking, and nibbling breasts and nipples. Align your mouths with each other’s vulvas, breasts, and stomachs using hands for added sensation.
“For additional stimulation, use one of the best lubes to help your fingers glide over your partner’s clitoris. Experiment with different movements and pressures, such as tapping or circling the clitoris and consider using clitoral suction vibrators that stimulate the internal and external parts of the clitoris on your partner or for mutual masturbation,” says Isabelle.
Best sex positions for clitoral orgasms
Anyone with a vulva can pursue a clitoral orgasm and there are some key positions that can help achieve this, regardless of whether you want to know how to have an orgasm alone or with a partner, manually or with toys.
While most clitoral orgasms typically require no penetration it’s worth noting that a clitoral orgasm can be achieved in various ways. Many people believe the clitoris is just the glans—the part that protrudes from the top of the vulva. The clitoris is actually a much larger organ.
“Typically, the first third of the vaginal canal is the most sensitive. It is the one surrounded by the bulbs and legs of the clitoris so you’ll be stimulating the clitoral cluster just by staying a couple of centimeters in. Any position that allows you to combine this with direct stimulation of the clitoris is a winner for clitoral orgasms,” says Patricia.
“The best way to know what works for you in terms of how to have an orgasm is to practice on yourself first so that you can communicate effectively with any sexual partners you might have in the future,” says Dr. Draeger.
3. CLASSIC COWGIRL
How to do it: The classic Cowgirl position, AKA one person lying down while the other is seated on top of them, can be one of the most enjoyable lesbian sex positions. Begin by straddling your partner and moving as you would as if using your hands to masturbate while seated. Then use your hips to grind together and stimulate your vulva and your partners’.
Why it’s great: This position allows the person on top to control the speed, pressure and intensity. As they are in control, the person on top can relax into the sensation without feeling uncomfortable. If you’re capable of achieving multiple orgasms, this is also the perfect position to attempt a few in a row.
Make it sexier: Introduce a toy that stimulates both partners, such as a double-ended dildo. Some find adding penetration too intense in this position, so remember that you can experiment with sensation using toys like nipple clamps, handcuffs, and silky ties too and with stimulation by simply introducing dirty talk, kissing, and touching.
4. FACESITTING OR QUEENING
How to do it: In this position, the receiving partner kneels with their knees on either side of their partner’s face while their partner performs oral sex and uses their hands to caress their partner’s thighs and butt.
Why it’s great: “The receiving partner has more control over the pace and rhythm, as they can rock their hips back and forth—a motion that can also increase the chance of orgasm. The receiving partner can also use their hands to massage their breasts and nipples. That’s a whole lot of stimulation,” says Isabelle.
Make it sexier: Introducing some consensual bondage for beginners can take this position to new heights. Experiment with restricting movement or tying hands using ropes, silky restraints or handcuffs. Or add blindfolds and collars and leashes to control how you and your partner move while in this position.
Best sex positions for body conscious women
Regardless of who you’re hooking up with, whether your sex is with a partner, a stranger you met on one of the best lesbian dating apps or a friend, being intimate comes with its drawbacks. People who identify as female often struggle with body image issues during sex and for many, the prevalence of mainstream porn has a lot to do with how we perceive our own bodies. While ethical porn for women can help with how women see their bodies, it can take time and awareness to overcome body-conscious feelings.
If you are don’t feel as attractive as your partner, this can affect your ability to enjoy sex. Likewise, if you struggle with a chronic pain condition or physical disability, it’s important to remember that pleasure and closeness are what’s important here, not how you look.
“Lesbian sex is not a performance, it can be as intimate and explorative as we want it to be,” says Patricia. “It’s important to remember that if someone is having sex with you, it’s because they find you attractive. The best positions are those that make your body feel good, not look good.”
5. SPOONS
How to do it: Add a sexy twist to the much-loved spooning position. “Spooning is fantastic for breast and clitoral stimulation either manually or with a vibrator or for penetration with a strap-on,” says Isabelle.
Why it’s great: This position can feel safer than positions where you feel your body is more on show and therefore is good for people who are concerned about their bodies being on display. It’s also great for creating intimacy and slow, mindful tantric sex.
Make it sexier: Adding your favorite sex toy, such as a strap-on or vibrator, can be a gamechanger in this position. With your and your partners’ hands free to explore, use multiple toys for a range of stimulation and spend as much time as you like lying comfortably together.
6. KNEELING SPOONS
How to do it: If you’d like to take spooning to a new level, try kneeling while spooning. While both kneeling, the giving partner can reach around to stimulate their partner’s clitoris with their fingers or a vibrator. The receiving partner can also rock back and forth, grinding their clitoris against their partner’s hand.
Why it’s great: The biggest issue with spooning while lying down is that one arm is always partially restricted so this modification allows for much more freedom. This position creates intense closeness and plenty of opportunities to use fingers and toys for extra sensation.
Make it sexier: Position your partner between your body and a wall so you can control the intensity of your movements and restrict theirs. With your partner facing the wall you can kiss their neck, whisper into their ear and press their body firmly against the surface in front while you grind against them. You can also hold their hands in place against the wall if you’re both comfortable with doing so.
7. ON ALL FOURS
How to do it: For two people with vulvas, one person kneels on all fours and the other applies pressure to the receiver’s erogenous zones from behind. This can be with hands, their mouth or with toys. Whether you opt for external stimulation, penetration of the vagina or the anus or all three is totally up to you. Just be sure to go slow as this can be a vulnerable position for the receiver.
Why it’s great: “Often, on-top positions can be more intimidating if you feel self-conscious about your weight, so going for positions that highlight the parts of your body you feel confident about is always more enjoyable,” says Isabelle.
“Positions where your partner stimulates you from behind, give them a great view of your butt while giving you more coverage of the front of your body if that is what you prefer. You can also use furniture and props to help you feel more supported, such as on all fours with pillows underneath you or leaning over a kitchen counter or chair.”
Make it sexier: There are so many ways to make the all-fours position sexier, from having the receiver hold a body wand vibrator against their own clitoris to using toys like ticklers, crops and floggers for gentle to more intense stimulation. The excitement is in trusting your partner whilst not knowing what might come next.
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