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Am I Sexually Healthy? 6 Signs Of Good Bedroom Habits For Better Sex

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Most of us don’t want to ask, but we’re curious how our sex life stacks up to our friends, colleagues, and neighbors. “How often do other couples have sex?” and, “How long do they last in bed?” or “Do they ‘change it up’ every time?” are all questions that make us wonder if we’re sexually normal. Good sexual health is contingent on understanding and embracing all aspects of our sexuality.

Sexual health is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity. Dr. Draion M. Burch, a sexual health advisor for Astroglide TCC, affirms it’s not limited to just being STD free. “It’s the emotional, physical, and social characteristics of sexual behavior,” he told Medical Daily.

It’s a mind-body connection that facilitates the possibility of having good sex. You have sex in a way that promotes health and healthy relationships. It’s about feeling good about ourselves as an individual, as well as understanding who we are sexually.

Dr. Nicole Prause, a sexual psychophysiologist and neuroscientist, reminds us we can be sexually healthy and choose not to engage sexually at all. “Sexual health does have to even necessarily include sex per se,” she told Medical Daily.

Below are 6 signs of good habits in the bedroom to rate how sexually healthy you are.

Love Your Body

A healthy sex life starts with loving our body. A 2009 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found women between the ages 18 to 49 who scored high on a body image scale were the most sexually satisfied. Positive feelings associated with our weight, physical condition, sexual attractiveness, and thoughts about our body during sex help promote healthy sexual functioning.

April Masini, relationship expert and author, believes a poor body image, or poor health and an awareness of it, can lead to a complicated sex life.

“Your body is the instrument you use to have sex, so when your body is in good health and you feel good about it, you’re less likely to feel it’s an obstacle to having sex,” she told Medical Daily.

Good communication

A healthy sex life relies on the foundation of communication. It’s about communicating what we want and what our partners want in the bedroom. Good communication takes effort, and it doesn’t always go smoothly, but attempting to talk with one another about desires can make sex enticing.

“Without it, you don’t read each other’s cues and react to whether something feels good or doesn’t feel good,” said Masini.

Dirty Talk

A flirty or naughty text or whispering dirty sexual banter into each other’s ears can lead to greater sexual satisfaction for both partners. A 2011 study in the Journal of Integrated Social Sciences found specific sexual behaviors, such as kissing, oral sex, and engaging in sexual conversations, were more likely related to greater sexual satisfaction. This is also linked to the concept of good communication between both partners.

shower-boobs

Happy Relationship

Inevitably, a happy relationship usually translates to a happy sex life. A 2011 study in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior found for middle-aged and older couples in committed relationships of one to 51 years’ duration, relationship happiness and sexual satisfaction were mutually reinforcing. Romantic relationships are important for our happiness and well-being.

Changing It Up

Couples will report sex can become routine; novelty is a way that increases sexual arousal, and as a result, sexual pleasure. Changing it up doesn’t have to be drastic — simply wearing new lingerie or doing your hair differently can be a way to introduce something new in the boudoir.

“Some people seem to think novelty means anal sex in your front yard, but novelty can be very subtle, like extremely slow pacing and teasing,” said Prause.

Not Counting

Couples may do it a few times a week or once a month, but focusing on a number will not be productive to our sex life. “The nature and quality of the sex can vary tremendously, as does frequency, but the main outcome any therapist will focus on is your satisfaction,” according to Prause.

A 2015 study in the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization found increased frequency does not lead to increased happiness. Researchers hypothesize it could be because it leads to a decline in anticipation, and therefore enjoyment. Sometimes less is more when it comes to sex.

Sexual health does not pertain to just sex; it’s about how you feel mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Complete Article HERE!

Sex education is not relevant to pupils’ lives, says report

International study finds schools’ teaching about sexuality out of touch, moralistic and unwilling to accept some students are already in relationships

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A sex education lesson at Chelmsford grammar school.

A sex education lesson at Chelmsford grammar school.

Sex education in schools worldwide is so “out of touch” with pupils’ experiences that they find it irrelevant and switch off, research of young people in 10 countries including the UK shows.

Many students find lessons about sex and relationships negative, moralistic and too scientific to help them deal with the feelings and situations they are encountering, according to an analysis of young people’s views published in the journal BMJ Open.

The study, led by Dr Pandora Pound of the school of social and community medicine at Bristol University, found a surprising consistency in young people’s views on sex education regardless of whether they were in Britain, the US, Iran, Japan, Australia or elsewhere.

“It is clear from our findings that SRE [sex and relationship education] provision in schools frequently fails to meet the needs of young people,” Pound said. “Schools seem to have difficulty accepting [that] some people are sexually active, which leads to SRE that is out of touch with many young people’s lives.”

Pound and her colleagues reached their conclusions after examining 55 previously published studies that set out young people’s views of sex education between 1990 and 2015. It also included pupils and ex-pupils in the Republic of Ireland, New Zealand, Canada, Brazil and Sweden.

SRE lessons too often left female pupils at risk of harassment if they participated and male students anxious to hide their ignorance about sex, they found. Some young men were disruptive in class in order to disguise their inexperience.

Many pupils believed that schools saw sex as a problem to be managed, that there was too much focus on heterosexual relationships and that females were often portrayed as passive and males as predatory, the researchers found.

Many pupils also found it uncomfortable and unhelpful that teachers they had for other subjects also taught them SRE. “They expressed dislike of their own teachers delivering SRE due to blurred boundaries, lack of anonymity, embarrassment and poor training,” according to the study.

A 2013 report into sex education by Ofsted, the schools inspectorate for England, found that just 19% of 18-year-olds believe that SRE should be taught by a teacher from their own schools.

For their part, teachers themselves often admit to “discomfort” at teaching SRE. Ofsted’s review also found that one in three English schools delivered poor quality SRE.

Schools could tackle these problems by instead holding some single sex SRE lessons and using sex educators from outside to deliver lessons, the authors suggest.

They also suggest that schools should be much more “sex-positive” – open, frank and positive about sex in a way that challenges negative attitudes in society to sex.

“It is disappointing that the pattern of inadequate sex and relationships education is repeated from country to country, with young people in England and elsewhere saying that SRE starts too little and too late and is often too biological with little attention to relationships, and lessons fail to reflect the reality of young people’s lives,” said Lucy Emmerson, co-ordinator of the UK’s Sex Education Forum.

“Teachers have repeatedly said that they need subject-specific training so that they can teach good quality sex and relationships education, but in England there has been a failing on the part of government to require that SRE must be taught in every school, so there are huge gaps in provision with some schools not teaching the subject at all,” she added.

The study, which was funded by the NHS’s National Institute for Health Research, also found that SRE often does not give pupils practical information such as what to do if they become pregnant and the pros and cons of different methods of contraception. In addition it found that sex education is often delivered too late for some pupils.

Without an overhaul of SRE, “young people will continue to disengage from SRE and opportunities for safeguarding and improving their sexual health will be reduced”, the paper warns.

“The international evidence is clear, comprehensive SRE taught early by trained educators results in improvements for young people’s sexual health and reductions in sexual violence,” added Emmerson. “But too many countries are failing to respond and take action and provide children and young people with the education they need and deserve.”

Complete Article HERE!

Is Sex Good For You? Researchers Say Active Sexual Life Is Good For Your Brain, General Well-Being

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Here’s some potential good news: Scientific evidence shows that sex can be pretty good for your well-being. Don’t count on it to replace your daily exercise routine, but sexual health experts say that consensual, positive sexual experiences are likely to release hormones like endorphins and oxytocin — both feel-good chemicals — into your brain.

“When we look at the function that those hormones might have then we can see that they assist to reduce stress and, of course, endorphins specifically might act like a natural anti-depressant,” Matt Tilley, a sexual health expert at Curtin University in Austraila, told MedicalXpress in a report published Monday.

The release of hormones can go a long way toward helping people feel good about themselves, but there are some non-brain benefits, as well. Basically, sex achieves a moderate level of exercise. During the act, heart rates increase, systolic blood pressure increases, diastolic blood pressure decreases and people sweat more.

“It’s exactly the same benefits as doing a full body cardio work but the caveat being that you have to maintain it for long enough,” Kevin Netto, director of research at Curtin University’s School of Physiotherapy and Exercise science, said.

cuddling

Netto added that most people don’t do it long enough to rely on sex as an alternative to exercise. Research shows that the average sexual encounter lasts about 17 minutes while 30 minutes of daily exercise is recommended to counter modern life’s sedentary style. Other research pegs the average sex time at just 5.4 minutes per encounter.

The news comes as other research indicates that the millennial generation is having less sex than their predecessors in spite of the reputation they have as the “hookup generation.” The research, in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, shows that millennials are less sexually active and tend to have fewer partners than Generation X and Baby Boomers. The culprit? It is theorized that an increased emphasis on physical appearance promoted by online dating apps can cut out the opportunity to have sex for “average” looking people who have historically relied on long-term relationships and marriage to have sex.

Complete Article HERE!

How sex education videos have changed over the last 50 years

By Amelia Butterly

sex education

Sex and relationship education (SRE) in schools isn’t good enough – at least, that’s what a lot of you often say.

From not being taught early enough, to lacking information about LGBT relationships and issues of consent – SRE gets a lot of criticism.

But, looking back at the archives, experts say there have been improvements when it comes to telling young people about relationships.

We’ve looked at posters and films once used to explain the birds and the bees.

And we asked sex and relationships teacher Caroline Stringer, a specialist from the charity Brook, to talk us through them.

1970s

This video – which was shown in schools – was also aired as part of a televised discussion about whether this kind of material was suitable for children to see.

Caroline says the way the penis is described as going “hard and straight” so that it can go into the woman’s vagina could be a problem.

“How confusing to young men having involuntary erections through puberty – they may have thought they need to go and find a vagina,” she explains.

Nowadays, says Caroline, good sex and relationship education will include topics such as consent and same-sex relationships.

Elsewhere in the videos, a man and woman are shown modelling nude in an art class.

“I thought it actually started off quite well, saying: ‘These people aren’t embarrassed’,” says Caroline.

“But for me, it was all about reproduction and a man and a woman. That’s the bit that is easy to talk about. It’s fact.”

In modern educational materials however, real people would not be shown posing nude, says Caroline.

“We would show diagrams, rather than the real thing.”

1980s

This film, which depicts a naked man on a beach, is the other one to feature full nudity.

It depends on the context, Caroline says, but seeing real-life naked bodies can serve a really useful educational function.

“If we’re showing people what STIs, for example, look like. How do they know what private parts look like without those STIs, if we only ever show them ones with?”

Like other films, it focuses on committed relationships.

“It’s all about making love. That’s what we would want to promote but that’s not always the case for people,” says Caroline.

Sex-Education

1990s

Caroline says in her classes she talks about all the different words which people use to describe sex and the body, including slang for the genitals.

“You can use those words,” she tells the students.

“But you need to know the proper words as well because if you’re going to talk to a doctor, you need to know what they’re saying back to you.”

Again, this video would not fit with “inclusive” modern sex education, Caroline explains.

“I did like that they talked about pleasure. It’s the first time in these videos they talked about it, for both a man and a woman.”

She adds: “It’s really important that it’s taught with a positive attitude. We don’t want scare messages.”

Nowadays

The sexual health charity Caroline works for, Brook, goes to in one in 10 UK schools to teach SRE.

“Brook believes SRE should start early in childhood so that children and young people learn to talk about feelings and relationships from a young age and are prepared for puberty before it happens,” they said in a statement.

“As children get older, we advocate SRE focusing on the positive qualities of relationships, such as trust, consent, body-positivity, commitment and pleasure.

“We also discuss the different forms relationships and sexuality can take.

“In addition to this, we also believe in ensuring that SRE is relevant and appropriate to the lives of young people so that it relates to other issues such as mental health, sexting, porn and staying safe online.”

Complete Article HERE!

Good News: Porn Isn’t Bad For Your Sexual Health After All

Everyone can calm down now.

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porn addiction, no such thing

Recently, a British National Health Service therapist suggested that access to porn is “damaging” to men’s health, particularly their sexual health, so naturally the internet freaked out, because porn is awesome and it’d be tragic if it really was unhealthy somehow.

The claim came from psychosexual therapist Angela Gregory, who stated that watching porn too much and too often is the reason more and more men in their teens and 20s are suffering from erectile dysfunction. She told BBC:

“Our experience is that historically men that were referred to our clinic with problems with erectile dysfunction were older men whose issues were related to diabetes, MS, cardio vascular disease. These younger men do not have organic disease, they’ve already been tested by their GP and everything is fine.

So one of the first assessment questions I’d always ask now is about pornography and masturbatory habit because that can be the cause of their issues about maintaining an erection with a partner.”

To supplement her argument that porn is no bueno, Gregory mentioned a youngster named Nick, who started jerking off to porn when he was 15, and loved it so much that it ruined his life and he needed medical help. Poor Nick.

“I found that when I was lying next to a girl a lot that I just wouldn’t be horny at all, despite being really attracted to the girl and wanting to have sex with her, [because] my sexuality was completely wired towards porn. At my peak I was probably watching up to two hours of porn every day.”

That’s a lot of porn. In fact that does sound excessive and potentially harmful.

However, there’s a small problem with Gergory’s claim: there’s no factual evidence. Hers is a subjective interpretation, therefore only a theory. So calm down. Porn isn’t bad for you, and it’s not messing up your junk’s ability to do its job.

The article published by BBC announcing Gregory’s theory even started out saying, “There are no official figures, but…” so readers should have known right then to not take it to heart. After all, if you’ve been beating off to porn for years and your equipment still functions and you have not turned into a sex offender, it must mean porn isn’t bad for you.

If it helps, there are actually studies that prove porn is beneficial. One Danish study from 2007 found that pornography has positive, yet minor, effects on sexual health. Another large study also definitively determined porn is not bad for you, and has literally no negative impact on men’s sexual health.

“Contrary to raising public concerns, pornography does not seem to be a significant risk factor for younger men’s desire, erectile, or orgasmic difficulties,” the authors wrote in the report.

See? You love porn, and porn loves you back just the same, so keep watching.

Complete Article HERE!