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Watch Your Language, Mister!

Before we get started today, I’d like to take a minute to explain something to ya’ll. You will notice just to the right of this posting there is a section called CATEGORIES. If you scroll down from there you will notice that there are loads of topics— well over a hundred — that I’ve written about and/or included in one of my podcasts. Next to the topic you will notice a little number. That reflects the number of postings that include that particular topic. Isn’t that fucking brilliant?

So if you’re looking for information about something, I encourage you to check there first, before you send me a question. You may find that I’ve already covered your concern at length.

The CATEGORIES section is also a great resource for those looking to investigate new and interesting aspects of human sexuality.

Name: Martin
Gender: Male
Age: 50
Location: ?
Thanks in advance for your assistance, Dr. Dick.
Here’s my dilemma; I’m so in love with my partner, he’s actually the man of my dreams. We met much later in life, he being 45 and I’m 50.
I was married before w/children, out now as a gay man and all is well with my children’s relationship.
My partner has always known he was gay, has had numerable relationships and was a sexual addict. He has wanted me to understand his past in relationship to his level of happiness now, stating that he was a bottom slut only because he was never truly in love or satisfied.
He wants me to believe that “I”m the one” that has changed his life-long addiction to strange dick up his ass.
I can’t seem to get past his past slut behavior, and oftentimes get so pissed off because he wants me to meet and develop friendships with many of these past fucks (primarily because they were military buddies also).
Why can’t I accept his slutty past and stop the suspicions?
Why do I get so upset just knowing that he was a total bottom slut??
How can I get him to understand that I have no desire to know any more about his sexual past and just focus on creating our lives???
Thanks.

Martin, Martin, Martin! How you do go on, honey. Take a look at your language, why don’t ‘cha? Could you possibly be more pejorative when speaking of the sexual experience of someone who has lived a different lifestyle than you? I doubt it. Look at how many times you use the word “slut” to describe the man you say you love. How can you tell me you love someone you have so little regard for or understanding of?

Your man wants you to understand his past, but you don’t take it at face value. You69201_7_122_1143lo.jpg belittle his experience, possibly because it doesn’t match your own very limited, sexually exclusive, predominately heterosexual lifestyle.

Listen, lots of gay men (and some straight men) have loads of sex for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes just for the fun of it…or, as your man suggests, just to be a big ‘ol bottom slut. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. A guy can be happily sexual without loving each and every one of his partners. And the sex can be really great too. Just like a guy can have very unsatisfying sex with somebody he loves deeply. None of these things are necessarily dependent on the other. Don’t make such a tangle of it all, Martin. Sex, love, intimacy are all very different things.

I also want to reinforce my belief that there’s no such thing as a sex addict. Compulsive behavior? Sure! Out of control behavior? You betcha! Self-denigrating behavior? Absolutely! Sexual addiction? No way!

Try for just a minute to extricate yourself from your sex-negative mindset by exchanging the notion of eating when you talk about your friend’s sexual exploits. Would you have the same revulsion if your guy said he had shared food with lots of other guys? Some of it was fast food that didn’t satisfy very much. Sometimes he ate just because he wanted to, not because he was hungry. And now he wants you and he, as a couple, to be friends with some of the men he ate with. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

Your man is trying to open you up to seeing life and sex as most openly gay men do. This is fundamentally different from how some formerly closeted men see life and sex. If you let him, he just might help heal you of your sex-negativity.

Finally, jealousy is one of the worst human emotions. It is a kind of hatred, you know. Sometimes it’s hatred of another, but it is always self-hatred. We’d have no reason to be jealous if we had enough self-confidence. You say you love this man, but I challenge you on that. It’s clear to me that you have a much greater love of your provincial notions about sex then you have for this guy.

Here’s a tip, Martin — jettison the unhealthy attitudes about sexual expression and give your guy a chance to be himself, not what you want him to be, or what you think he should be. You’d be well served by working with a sex-positive therapist to help you get over this. Do it now, because if you hesitate you will surely ruin the very relationship you claim to treasure.

Name: Pete
Gender: Male
Age: 60
Location: New England
What is sounding the penis and why is it called that?

Sounding is a kind of urethra play. It’s called that because the it involves sounds, a kind of dilator. Why not mozie on over to Dr Dick’s Stockroom and check out the Sounds & Dilators section. You’ll get an eyeful!

Urethra play freaks out lots of folks. Most of us equate having something inserted into our urethra…for any reason…with a root canal by a sadistic dentist. Not something purposely done for the sheer enjoyment of it.a974.jpg

I’m always curious about how folks come to odd fetishes like urethra play. One of my correspondents back in July, Georgia, wrote that her urethra play began when she was a child. She asked her mother where babies came from. Her mother said it’s where peepee comes out. Georgia looked down there and saw this teeny-tiny hole. She knew having a baby was difficult and painful and thought, no wonder! So she decided she’d better try and make the opening bigger. And so it began.

Once a guy told me his fetish started when he was playing doctor with his older cousin. His cousin inserted a twig into his urethra, mimicking how he thought a doctor would take a patient’s temperature. This guy said that the moment was so sexually charged, even as boy of no more than 5, that his piss hole became an object of fascination and pleasure from that day onward. When I knew him, he was able to insert the bristle end of a toothbrush into his urethra. That bit of unsolicited information just about made me swoon into a faint back then. Even now, retelling that story gives me the willies.

So ok, this isn’t for me, but I am told by those in the know that because the urethra is such a sensitive organ, stretching it can provide exquisite sexual pleasure.

Practitioners of this unique kink often start out young, like Georgia and the other guy. Maybe it’s just a function of one’s natural curiosity about his/her body, when one day he/she discovers their urethra. They toy with it, stretch it and find pleasure. Once that happens, of course, it becomes like most pursuits of pleasure. It becomes a fascination, then a full-blown kink.

If a little accidental stretching is pleasurable, they wonder, what about intentional stretching with one kind of gadget or another — Q- tips, thermometers or a ballpoint pen? Once these kids are old enough to do some research, they discover an array of medical implements available to them; like latex or plastic tubing, catheters and urethral sounds and dilators. Well, you can see how this could just grow and grow…pretty much like any fetish. Pleasure is curious that way, spurring us on to higher and higher heights.

But like all pleasure related things, practitioners ought to have their wits about them when they play with their pee hole. I think it’s ill advised to be stretching your urethra with just any old thing lying around. One’s bladder and urethra are sterile areas and one ought only use sterile equipment and procedures while inserting anything in there. And one ought to take one’s time with this sort of play. Incremental stretching is advised. The use of mind altering, or body desensitizing drugs is not recommended, for obvious reasons. Like I always say, safe and sane play is happy play.

And here’s something you should know — the male urethra is approx. 10 to 13 inches long and has a “J-shaped” curve to it. The female urethra is much shorter, only approx. 2 1/2 to 3 inches long, and there is no curve. Therefore, a woman can stretch her urethra much easier and to a greater extent than a man can. You will find that these gender differences also makes for gender specific toys.

Name: Alice
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Location: Minnesota
My new boyfriend is really frustrated and doesn’t want to have sex anymore because he can’t come. He says he’s had this problem for a while and hasn’t come with any girl for over a year. I see how upset he is and I know he still wants to sleep with me but says it hurts when he gets excited and nothing happens. Is there something I can do? I tell him to see a doctor but I don’t think he will. thanks a lot!

Wow, that’s a bummer Alice. Unfortunately, you don’t supply me with enough information for me to make an educated guess about what might be up with him. So I’m gonna make a stab in the dark.

If I had to guess, I’d say the lad is suffering from a real bad case of performancetom03a.jpg anxiety. He doesn’t need a medical doctor; he needs to relax.

Here’s how this nasty thing works. Say a fella has a less than satisfying sexual experience for one reason or another. Before he know it, he replaying the incident over and over in his head, till that’s all he thinks about. The proverbial molehill becomes a mountain. He brings his anxiety to his next sexual encounter. His hyper-consciousness primes him for more disappointment. And he’s ready to interpret all disappointment as a failure.

Well, you can see where I’m going with this, huh? His fears become self-fulfilling. Before he knows it, he begins to avoid sex. His relationships suffer. He develops a full-blown sexual dysfunction. And his self-esteem takes a nosedive. His preoccupation with his problem makes it less likely that he’ll be fully present during sex with his partner, which pretty much fucks up his sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity.

It looks to me like performance anxiety is putting a damper on his sexual arousal and short-circuiting his sexual response cycle.

This is nothing to fool around with, especially for someone at his tender age. When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes a great deal of the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psychosexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training, stress reduction and relaxation exercises. I have the greatest confidence in this method. It succeeds over 90% of the time.

Name: Roxy
Gender:
Age: 37
Location: SF Bay Area
Dear Dr. Dick, I am slowly but inexorably marching to my wits end over my current dilemma. I’m a part time TV married to a wonderful girl who I find very satisfying emotionally, mentally and physically. So what’s the problem, you’re asking? The problem is that before we got married I had several sexual encounters with men (yes, with me dressed and made up as a girl). Some of which were quite thrilling, and now I find that I am yearning to get all dressed up and find a male partner who will satisfy the girl side of my psyche sexually. I don’t want to cheat on my wife (with whom I’ve talked about marital fidelity…if I cheated and she found out, her line is that our sex life would be over), but I feel the compulsion to act getting stronger all the time… what should I do? Sincerely, Distraught in downtown

Before I respond to you, Roxy, I want to make sure my audience knows what we’re talking about.

Folks, Roxie here is identifying as a part-time TV. That, of course, has nothing to do with the box in your living room on which you watch The Brady Bunch reruns. TV in this context means transvestite. Which is literally the practice of cross-dressing, wearing the clothing of the other sex. Which as we all know, or should know must not be confused with a TS. And I don’t mean the poet, but a transexual. A transexual is a person that self-identifies as the gender other than the one he/she was assigned at birth. I hope we’re all down with that now.

It appears to me, Roxy, that you’re really overreaching here. Desires are wonderful2070257205_55f002f39a.jpg things. We just better know the difference between a desire and reality. I encourage you to think twice about realizing this particular desire of yours if it means upending your marriage. Seems to me your long-suffering wife’s feelings deserves more than the casual consideration you afford them.

Most TVs I know would give their left falsie for a partner as understanding and accommodating as your wife. And look at you, considering fucking this up by skipping out on her. Just so you can get all gussied up and find a dude to pound the bejesus out of you to satisfy the girly side of your psyche.

I never advocate the cheating option. But I know how compelling sexual fantasies can be. On the other hand, maybe some kind of additional accommodation could be made with your wife. Maybe she’d be up for a 3-way.

I know this marvelously kinky woman, Abby, who pimps out her beautiful straight boyfriend to totally hot gay gays they meet at the best gay nightclubs. She does this just so she can watch the straight BF get pounded. I hasten to add that the beautiful straight BF is a willing participant in this unusual ménage. Curiously enough, he’d never think of doing this on his own. For him, the turn on is not the part where other guys fuck him, although that is pleasurable. It’s pleasing and being dominated by his kinky girlfriend that turns his crank. So when Abby snaps her finger, you know for certain that Ty will soon be buggered senseless. Now that’s devotion. And while this is not for everyone, it sure as hell works for them.

Will your little woman go for something like this, Roxy? Got me! One thing for sure, you’ll never know unless you ask. Here’s a tip. To sell this whole ménage thing to the wifie, I encourage you to play up how HOT it will be for her. How much fun she’ll have watching and possibly even directing her pansy-ass husband take it up the bung-hole. How it’s gonna blow her mind, and shake up your traditional sex roles and really spice things up in the boudoir. With a sales pitch like that she might just give it a whirl.

I don’t envy your dilemma, Roxy, but I think something interesting could come of this just as long as you’re upfront about it with your wife. If ya don’t, you’ll soon be a cock in a frock with his marriage on the rocks.

Good luck ya’ll

 

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Stunt Cocks


Stunt Cock (stunt kok) n. : a gentleman who provides surplus semen, usually on demand, to an adult film. This mockumentary tells the story of Bill and Earl, kind-hearted young men who have taken their severe sexual dysfunction (premature ejaculation) and used it to transform the adult film industry into a business filled with family, friendship and love. It turns out that Bill and Earl’s magical seed is really a salve that unites the world.

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered!

Name: Jean
Gender: female
Age: 36
Location: New Haven, CT
I’ve been with the same man for 14 years. We both decided to become Christians about a year ago. Now he’s not interested in sharing the same bed and not interested in having sex with me. It tried to overlook this hoping it was some kind of phase, but it goes on and on and he still doesn’t want sex. He’s the only man that could ever satisfy me sexually. I dated a few guys, four to be exact, before we met. I still love this guy but he won’t acknowledge my feelings. I feel like I’m losing everything, my best friend, my partner, my lover …and my sanity. I’m happy we’re still together, but I’m frustrated to the point of exhaustion without my sex life. Any ideas what I could do to turn this around?

What an unhappy tale of woe you have you have to tell, Jean. The Christian conversion thing didn’t quite work out like ya thought, huh? Well maybe it has less to do with Christianity per se, and more to do with the Joe you converted with.

I’ve heard similar complaints from other people whose partners have unilaterally decided to make a radical life-change for themselves. Often these new zealots fail to appreciate how their life altering decisions impact on the wellbeing of their mate. And because they are so damn single-minded about their new passion — as every zealot is, there is rarely any talking to them.

Two former clients come to mind. First, there was George, a gay man in a 10-year relationship with this other really sweet guy, Robert. Eight years into the relationship Robert had a heart attack. Despite a full recovery and living a much healthier lifestyle after the hear attack, Robert got it in his head that if he were to have sex again, it would kill him. There was no reasoning with him. No sex ever again, period. This otherwise blessed relationship ended painfully. Pity that!

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Another client, Melissa, discovered long-distance running two years into her marriage to Allen. She became like a woman possessed. Running consumed her. Her career, her friends and family, her social life all suffered. But no one took the brunt of her newfound craze more than her husband. At first sex was out of the question because there was no time. Then all that body-punishing running radically changed her metabolism. She even stopped menstruating. Her libido virtually expired. Even the imminent demise of her relationship didn’t alter her running routine. So basically old Melissa just ran away from her marriage. Simple as all that!

In your case, Jean, your partner appears to have bought into the some of the worst sex-negative messages of Christianity. I suspect that there’s no turning this around and, unless you wish to continue to sacrifice your sexuality on this unworthy altar, I’d suggest you make peace with the fact that life will never return to how it once was.And what’s all this about he being the only man who could satisfy you? You’ve had only 4 other partners, for christ sake! And most, if not all, were crummy lovers. Am I right? You’re not the kind of gal that quits shopping for shoes after trying on only 5 pair, are you?There is a whole world of men out there that would be happily give you what you aren’t getting at home and some of them may even be good lovers. If no accommodation can be made with your husband about fulfilling your needs, than I suggest you beat a hasty exit.The longer you stay in this unhealthy environment the greater the chance will be that you will become more and more embittered. God gave us the gift of sexuality for a purpose. It was meant to give us pleasure and enhance life. Your sexuality is in danger of becoming just the opposite of what nature intended. Do yourself a favor and choose life and happiness. You’ll be glad you did…so will God.

Name: Pete
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: Ohio
dr dick: I am gay and i have no idea how to break it to my family. and they say all the time when they see a gay guy look at that fag glad he’s not my kid. i would disown him. just wondering if u could help me.

Ain’t it a bitch being surrounded by a bunch of yahoos! Coming out is rarely easy, but doing so to ignorant, fearful, bigoted people is the worst.

Pete, you should know that all bigotry is deeply rooted in the bigot’s own fear about him or herself. It stands to reason, all irrational fears and hatred, like homophobia, are more indicative of the troubled psychological make-up of the one with the prejudice, rather than the people he or she abhors.

Often people will use religion to back up their prejudice. It’s particularly galling when non-religious people do this. But it’s safe to say that authentically religious people don’t need to persecute or ostracize those who do not believe as they do. Any more than authentically heterosexual people need to persecute or ostracize people of other sexual persuasions. Let that be the standard by which you judge the worth of any message coming from a religious dogmatist or a moralizing heterosexual.9e.jpg

Before you start in on the self-disclosure thing with your family, Pete, I suggest you first try to clear a path for that discussion. Begin by challenging those around you who shame or denigrate those who are different. Ask them why they make such ridiculously uninformed and hurtful statements. Ask them if degrading other people makes them feel superior. And if it does, what does that say about their inadequacies. You could suggest that their intolerance of gay and lesbian people proves they have some hidden, unresolved sexual issues that they need to address. I mean — “me thinks you doth protest too much” — and all that, right?

If your family environment doesn’t improve with that tactic, you may find that, at least in the short run, discretion is the better part of valor. Sometimes coming out to one’s family is best done only after you’ve come out to friends and co-workers. This strategy will provide you a bank of support that you can fall back on if the family disclosure things turn out badly.

My counsel to those just starting the coming out process is to reserve the good news about you and your sexuality for the audience best situated for receiving it. Celebrate your queerness with open-minded people first. Nowadays there’s much more acceptance of alternative lifestyles in the popular culture then ever before. Particularly younger people seem to have more tolerance for diversity. But however you choose to handle this difficult but important developmental task, don’t sink to the lowest common denominator. Don’t cave into the bigotry that surrounds you. Don’t let it intimidate you into a life of shame, repression or self-loathing. Live authentically. Pete, and live proud! Because when you do, you are a shining example of a happy, healthy, integrated and well-adjusted human being.

Finally, just remember you are not alone. Sex positive and gay positive organizations abound. If you need help with any of your coming out, if you’re feeling isolated and alone — turn to one of them. They are there to help. And there are even support organizations for your family members too. Turn them on to: PFLAG (parents and friends of gays and lesbians).

Name: Bob
Gender: Male
Age: 54
Location: Laguna Beach
As an older man, I’ve started having performance problems. Unfortunately there’s no decrease in my libido. I think some of my problem is psychological. I’m also HIV+. And I find myself worrying about transmission even with condoms. But some of the problem is physical. I do wear a cock ring and that helps I guess. Is there anything else I can do to increase my performance to match my libido?

Your concern is a familiar one, Bob. Men regularly present this problem in my private practice and I also have a personal familiarity with the issue in my own life.

Diminished performance, at least in terms of a perpetually stiff dick, is a natural occurrence as we age. There was a time when I thought this was a major problem. I don’t think like that now. These days I’m helping my older clients (and myself) appreciate the full range of sensuality that is the unique purview of us more seasoned lovers. I’ve always felt that as gay men we are too genitally focused, especially when it comes at the expense of all the other pleasure zones our bodies have been gifted with.p.jpg

The rushed, hormonally driven sex of my youth has matured into a slower, more relaxed and sensual sexuality that I am thoroughly enjoying. This has been one of the very best gifts of the aging process. It’s even having an effect on my younger partners and they are appreciative.So I no longer equate performance with a stiff dick. For those times when I absolutely need a rock-hard hardon a cock ring does just fine. I’m aware that I may need more time to achieve this kind of erection, but I’m not just twiddling my thumbs while I’m waiting, if ya know what I mean. I am no longer frustrated by this natural phenomenon, because I no longer have unrealistic expectations.

I realize that many men are experimenting with an erection-enhancing medication such as Viagra, but I suggest that this be reserved for those who are truly experiencing erection dysfunction.

I’m also concerned with the alarming rise of younger men, men in their 20’s and 30’s who are using Viagra or another similar drugs recreationally. This is very troubling. If your young body is having difficulty producing an erection, then you need medical attention ASAP, or maybe you just need some sleep. However, if you’re abusing Viagra just so you can have an erection that lasts for hours that’s a real bad idea for several reasons. Not least of which is your body will habituate itself to that stuff and you will find that, in time, you won’t be able to get it up at all without ever increasing doses of Viagra.

This is gonna fuck up your cardiovascular system big time. In fact, you may very well be inducing the very sexual dysfunction the drug is supposed to help. Consider the person who overuses eye drops or lip balm or any number of otherwise innocuous health and beauty products. Their body will stop making the natural substances that these over the counter products are intended to assist. It’s counterproductive and it’s ill advised. If this is a problem with relatively harmless over the counter products, you know you are playing with fire when you’re abusing powerful prescription meds.

Whoops, sorry Bob, I went off topic there for a minute. It’s just that every opportunity I get to put out a message that will dissuade someone from hurting himself or herself, I just launch into it.So back to you. It is clear from what you tell me, your performance problems do, as you suggest, also have a psychological component to them. You have a fear that, despite being responsible in your sex play and even though you play safe, you could accidentally pass on HIV.

It’s true; one’s brain can indeed override almost every function of our body. For example, we draw each and every breath we take without even thinking about it. However, if a situation dictates our brain can and does override that essential pulmonary function and we can hold our breath. The same is true with our sexual response cycle. Sometimes we can become sexually aroused without really thinking about it. However, if for one reason or another our brain assisted by our conscience interferers with or even shuts down the sexual arousal, then that’s pretty much all she wrote.

Your scruples about the possibility that you could accidentally pass along HIV are interfering with your sexual response cycle. No cockring or an erection-enhancing medication is going to change that darlin’!In other words, the problem is not in your cock, the problem is in your head. This is something you’re gonna have to wrestle with and finally resolve. This tension between your head and your dick is actually a good thing. Your body is providing you an opportunity to align your moral values with your sexual performance. How will this resolve itself? I couldn’t say. But I know for sure resolution is possible.

I do suggest, however, that you not try to do this in a vacuum. Reach out to a HIV support group or a sex-positive therapist for the help you need in making peace between your head and your cock.

Good luck, ya’ll

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…Because I Said So!

Once again, I have the pleasure of introducing all you perverts and pervettes to some very appealing playthings. Thanks to my inquisitive correspondents and the treasure trove that is Dr Dick’s Stockroom, I’m able to bring you another installment of my ever so popular, SEX TOY AWARENESS feature.

Name: Oliver
Gender: male
Age: 32
Location: Atlanta
I want to try a butt plug or at least I think I do. I have a friend who swears by his. The other day he took me to the store to pick up some groceries. All the while he was acting all weird and giggly and stuff. I knew something was up, because the Safeway is just not that festive. He told me later that he was wearing his butt plug while we were shopping. Are these things really that much fun?

Well ya know fun is in the eye (or in this case…the bum) of the beholder. I know a couple of guys (and even one gal) who wear their plugs for hours on end. A plug of modest size can offer loads of stimulation for an extended period of time. And, like your friend, only the wearer will know the source of his/her shit eatin’ grin. My one female friend says she wears hers when she irons. She told me that ironing used to be a chore she dreaded. Now the drudgery has turned to delight, thanks to her prodigious plug. She also reminds me to tell you that plugs are not only for assholes. She has another set of plugs just for her pussy. What a creative lass!

c933.jpgOliver, let me introduce you to your new best friend for life — the Tulip Anal Plug (C933). This gracefully designed butt plug features a rounded tip for effortless penetration. The yielding tulip shape fans out to a wide, 11⁄2 maximum diameter, then slims to a narrow column, making for an effective fit. This toy is meticulously manufactured by hand in the USA using the finest materials available. And that’s really important considering where you’re gonna shove this puppy.

The Tulip Anal Plug is made from 100% Ultra-Premium Platinum Silicone (read: first class stuff). Hypoallergenic, phthalate free, perfectly odorless, this toy is great for people with sensitive skin or for those who want a more environmentally friendly play option. This plug is boilable, bleachable and dishwasher safe. Isn’t it a comfort to know that this nontoxic, waterproof playmate can be so easily sterilized? And last but not least, the wide base provides improved manipulation and a helpful safeguard too.

Name: Patti
Gender: female
Age: 38
Location: Washington DC
My best friends are getting married. They’re going to Canada to get hitched, because my friends are lesbians, and…well you know how we are here in the states about that. Anyhow, I’m looking for an unusual bridal gift…for two brides!

Yeah, I do know how we are here in the states! Maybe Canada will annex us one day.

c212.jpgWhat lesbian bride wouldn’t want one of these delightful toys? The Njoy Fun Wand (C212) is more than a sex toy. It has as many applications as a Swiss Army knife. (And you know how them lesbians love their Swiss Army knives! They never leave home without it.)

The lucky brides will be able to insert one end for amazing g-spot orgasms, or use the beaded end for anal ecstasy. Your friends will be able to practice their Kegel exercises with this thing too. In no time they will have vaginal muscles of steel. And when the dreaded lesbian bed death occurs, as you know it will, the Njoy Fun Wand can be used to apply pressure to knots in their back and shoulder muscles.

Since it is handcrafted from the highest-grade stainless steel, the Njoy Fun Wand will last a lifetime. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. It’s easy to clean with mild soap and water. Measures approximately 8″ in length, with the widest section measuring 1″ in diameter.

It has a hefty weight to it, and it will hold temperature — warm or cold — just in case your friends have a little kink to them.

j420.jpgName: Ward Clever
Gender: male
Age: 40
Location: Suburban, USA
My wife, June, has been passing around the beaver, if you know what I mean. This has got to stop. That beaver belongs to me. What do you suggest I do to teach her a lesson?

Dear Ward, I know how trying it can be when the little woman wanders. What’s a husband to do? I think it’s time to trap Beaver Cleaver, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Here’s what you’ll need to get the job done. Deluxe Female Chastity Belt, Pink Leather (J420), a top quality piece of pink leather BDSM fetish gear. So feminine, yet so sturdy!

This deluxe locking chastity belt has a waist belt, and a second belt going between the legs flaring out in an hourglass shape around the crotch area, giving more coverage in front and in back, while narrowing between the legs to conform to pelvic anatomy. Ward, my friend, not only will this little number trap June’s beaver, it will keep her bunghole from wandering too!

This leather harness is a full-fledged chastity belt. Both belts are adjustable and lockable. The whole belt requires four locks (not included). Remember, beavers are wily creatures; so security is a must if you want to get the job done right.

Name: Cameron
Gender: male
Age: 24
Location: Winnipeg
Doc, I’m fed up spending so much money on disposable douches. Is there anything out there that is safe and reusable?

b004.jpgYou’re in luck, darlin’! The Shur Shot (B004) is a douche/enema nozzle that is outfitted for use as a shower attachment.

The nozzle is 6″ (15cm) long. It’s attached to a metal hose almost 6 feet (1.7 meters) long. On the other end of the hose is a valve, which you screw on to your shower spigot. Then both your showerhead and the 6-foot hose attach to the valve. In one position, the valve will direct the water flow to the Shur Shot, and in the other position the water goes to your showerhead. Isn’t that brilliant engineering?

Here’s a tip, when you buy a product like this, be sure you buy quality. I do not recommend the cheaper plastic models you sometimes see around. If you buy the Shur Shot you can be confident that blasted thing will last. You will also have the proper length of hose, which is like totally important for reaching those hard to get at spots.

Name: Bette
Gender: female
Age: 45
Location: Redding, CA
One of the medications I take every day has a very unfortunate side effect. It causes acute vaginal dryness and that, as you know, can make intercourse painful. I’ve tried several lubes, but they only seem to help on the surface and I need deeper lubrication. Is there anything you can suggest?

c123.jpgYou betcha! I have just the thing for you. Holy cow, check out the Lube Shooter (C123). This package comes with 3 disposable lube shooters that put lube where you want it, deep in your pussy! No more wasted lube! No more messy sheets. Just a comfortable fuck!

Simply remove the plunger, pour the lube into the shooter. Replace the plunger and depress until the lube begins to ooze. Insert the lube shooter into your pussy and slowly depress the lever. How fun is that? This handy device is perfect for lubing up one’s ass for some deep slippery butt fuckin’ too. But probably you perverts figured that out already, huh?

Good luck Ya’ll

A Helping Hand, or Two

Do you ever just need a hand getting a grip on a hard throbbing problem? Well never fear, sex fans, Dr Dick is here to lend a hand…or two to all you sexually worrisome out there.

Name: Jose
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Norwalk, CT
how can i approuch a good stripper to get into sex? even tho they just stripper some make rule but if stripper off work, would some of them willing to do it?

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that English is not your first language, right Jose? I think I understand what you are asking. Let’s just hope that the women you approach will also understand you meaning.

So OK, you know this fine stripper and you want to have sex with her, right? Alrighty then! First thing you oughta know is that not all strippers are hookers. Some simply strip because they make good money. And don’t sell sex, well because they don’t have to. The ones that do sell sex, don’t do so where they strip. It’s bad for business and, I also hasten to point out, it’s against the law.

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There are two good ways to go about this hunt for stripper sex. First, you could ask the vixen out on a real date. I think this is the best way of going about gettin laid by any woman. If this particular woman is available for a sexual liaison, and you’re not a totally creepy dick-head, she might take you up on the offer. Just remember, some stripping establishments prohibit their strippers from fucking with customers. If that’s the policy at the joint you frequent, let it go. Don’t pester the woman for something that will jeopardize her job. If she does accept the date, and all goes well, and you charm the pants off her, you might just get a little bump and tickle. I hope we’re clear on the concept that if any woman, especially a sex worker, accepts a dinner invitation it is not the same thing as saying she’ll fuck you, right? GOOD!

The second option is to ask the stripper if she does escort work on the side. Again, some stripping establishments prohibit their strippers from fraternizing with customers in any way, shape or form, especially fucking them. You ought to know that if the woman in question is indeed an escort as well as a stripper, your “date” with her is gonna cost ya, don’t ‘cha know. These women are professionals; you’d do well to treat them with the respect you’d offer any professional woman.

Never, under any circumstance, offer to pay this woman…or any woman…for sex. That would be inviting prostitution, and that’s against the law — except if you’re in Nevada. If the woman in question is an escort, she will be exchanging her time and expertise for money; not sex for money. Get it? If she’s smart she won’t give you a second chance to get this right if you fuck up asking her the first time.

My advice to you is, figure out ahead of time which way you want to go — date or escort. Then approach her like a gentleman. If she’s not interested, respect her decision to decline your offer with some grace and dignity.

Good luck

Name: john
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: california
my penis when erect is slightly bent to left what should i do? will there be any problem while having sex?

You haven’t seen a lot of stiffies on other guys, have you John? Most straight guys are unaware of how their cock compares to other dude’s. If a guy, like you, doesn’t have a frame of reference, so to speak, he may even think his unit is abnormal. The fact is many men have curved cocks. Some curve to the left, and others to the right. Some curve up, some curve down.

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You’re clear on the concept of what creates wood, right? An erection occurs when two tubular structures that run the length of the penis, the corpora cavernosa, become engorged with blood. Imagine your cock is a baloon with two separate inflatable tubes on either side. If you put more air pressure on one side of the balloon than the other, the baloon will curve. Simple as all that! Many guys believe that a bent cock is caused by wearing tight briefs instead of boxers or that it’s caused by circumcision. These are myths. However, excessive, rough or heavy-handed masturbation during one’s youth can promote a curvature later in life. That’s why I always promote handling one’s pecker with care.

Since you say your dick curves only slightly to the left, I’m pretty sure this natural variation won’t be a problem in partnered sex.

Good luck

Name: Bryan
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Melbourne, Australia
I live about 45 mins outside the city and have always had a weight problem. I found that the easiest way for me to get off (or the only option for a long time) was to meet guys at beats or online. These were never really guys that I found attractive, and ones that I felt that I was simply resorting to to fulfil my needs. I also found myself taking a submissive role rather than my preferred top, just in order to get sex. Now that I am older, I am able to meet guys that I actually like, however I find that it takes forever for me to come. I like being active but I can never come just from sex, and even when I get head jobs, I cant come just from head jobs, I end up needing to jerk myself off and it takes a very very long time. I cant help but be cerebral and need to think for a long time to create a scene, something that I needed to do when I didnt find the guys attractive, but I cant stop this now when I actually do like them. Also, I cant come unless I am lying on my back and jerking off. Which is difficult as I like being dominant and active. A part of me thinks that it’s because I jerk off too much, or because I have needed to play the submissive role for so long. I have spoken to friends and the idea that because I dont find feminine guys attractive and the very role of having anal sex psychologically associates the other guy as taking a feminine role within my head and thus a turn off has been suggested. Whereas some friends have said that maybe I just dont feel that I deserve to be able to take that active role because of my attachments to past sexual experiences in my earlier youth. Im studying some psychology at university and am trying to make sense of it all but I just cant, and I am tired of apologising to guys when they cant make me cumm from blow jobs or sex, and that I have to do it myself and they are detached to the role of a lesser important role of oral contact in another manner just so that they are involved in someway in the process. I just want to be able to come while having sex or having a blow job and not lying on my back, and not taking forever and a day. I do like these guys that I am seeing now, and this issue I feel has always put pressure on my sexual relationships.

I caution you to not read too much into your inability to cum through oral sex, or than in any other position than on your back. No need to psychoanalyze yourself or look too deeply into your sexual past to find the root of this problem. While you mindset and your past behaviors may impact on your current performance, you should know that lots of men, with very different sexual histories than yours, have a similar inability to cum in any other way than on their back and with their own hand.sin_20nombre.jpg

If this is so disturbing for you, you can learn different behaviors that may, in time, allow you to cum in the position and by an activity that you prefer — like standing up for a blow job. But I suggest that you’ll never accomplish this if you think you are defective, or that some deep psychological trauma is the root of your dissatisfaction.

Why not just chalk your concerns up to a natural variation on male sexual response cycle. Expanding one’s sexual repertoire is best accomplished with some patience and a whole lot of practice. Being ashamed of yourself or belittling yourself for what you perceive as an inadequacy will completely sabotage any effort you might make to change your sexual patterns.

Good luck

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