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Tricks Of The Trade — Part 1

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A friend of mine, who is writing a book about male sexuality for women, asked me if I could be her go-to-guy for a bunch of questions she had about pleasuring a man which she wants to include in her book. I think it is only fair that you, my loyal audience, should get this information before anyone else does.

What would, in your esteemed opinion, be your five hot tips for giving a great hand job?

First, there are 10, not 5. Hand jobs are too important for just 5.

Most men love a good old-fashioned hand job. Here’s the deal with a lot of us folks who own a dick. We first become acquainted with the pleasure our cock can offer through handling ourselves. And when it comes right down to it, there is rarely a mouth, pussy or ass that can compete with the variety of stroke and firmness of grip that a hand can provide. Simply stated, the humble hand job is the ideal way to pleasure your man. Just remember, even though jerkin off your guy isn’t particularly exotic, as far as sex acts go, it never has to be boring for you or him.busy masturbating

1) I am of the mind that a brilliant wank begins with a first class lube. Many guys swear by silicone-based lubes for this purpose, but a hand job connoisseur will probably have his very own favorite. Start off with just enough lube to make things slick, you don’t want to over do it. Get a feel for his johnson and what you have to work with. Skillfully draw back the skin of his rod toward the root of his dick till it is taut. This is much easier to do on uncut men, but even most cut men will have some skin left for move.

2) Tell your dude how much you like his meat. A hand job is a perfect time to marvel at the work of art before you. Feel free to uooh and ahhh a lot. Your man will get off on you admiring his unit. For, as we all know, a hard man is good to find. Can you wrap your fingers around the base of his unit and get a good grip there? If not, you’ll want to consider a cockring for this purpose. if you use a cockring, you’ll free up both your hands for what’s to come.

3) Now that you got yourself a really nice boner goin’, get between his legs. Take his cock between the palms of your hands, interlock your fingers and guide your hands up and down his shaft. Your thumbs should be on the underside of his dick, so that on each stroke up and down, you hit his frenulum with the pads of your thumb. Now with his cock still between your palms, rub your hands together, like if you were warming them. This will provide a great new sensation for your guy.

cock,schlong, dong4) Hold his cock in one hand and with the well-lubed palm of your other hand, slowly move it in nice lazy circles all over his dickhead. This is a particularly delicate procedure, especially if your man is uncut. His dickhead will be super sensitive, now that he is fully aroused. And don’t forget, if you are using a cockring, his pecker will be even more engorged than usual, making it hypersensitive. Be sure to ask for feedback on this move. If he finds this too uncomfortable, move on to something more pleasurable. Here’s a tip: us men being who we are will, no doubt, already be giving you directions on what to do and how to do it down there. So all you have to do is follow his lead. Remember, he knows his way around his joint better than anyone.

5) Don’t forget to service his nuts. Since a guy’s jewels are less sensitive to touch than his dickhead, you can manhandle them a lot more. Squeeze and tug and even gently slap those babies to your heart’s delight. While you are doing that, and with his dick flat against his belly, shimmy the heel of your hand up and down the underside of his cock. You see how you are incorporating different sensations and movements all at the same time? Keep this up and your man will be putty in your hands, no pun intended.

6) Interlace your fingers and make a tight passageway through the palms of your hands. Pump up and down his shaft this way. As you get to the top of his cock close the passageway even tighter. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom. Then with one hand rapidly following the other in only a downward stroke, make like a perpetual penetration tunnel. This will make his eyes roll back in his head in ecstasy.titty fuck01

(This might be a good time to incorporate other parts of your body besides your hands. Most men get off on a titty –fuck. Cozy his cock between your boobs and have him hump away. You can also use your feet in the same fashion. Lots of guys can really get off fuckin’ a chick’s (or dude’s) feet.)

7) Now, back to the hand job. Rhythmically stroke only his rod. Watch as his dickhead swells and turns red or even purple. Once it’s bright red, use your fingertips on the tip of his dick like you are turning a doorknob, first to the right, then to the left. Lightly at first, but slowly increase the pressure till he begs you to stop. Now you got him right where you want him.

8) Here’s where things can get really interesting. When he’s least expecting it, move one of your hands down past his nuts and taint. You know what a taint is, don’t cha? That’s the patch of skin between his balls and his asshole. It got its name from taint ass and taint balls, ya get it? Anyhow, once past his taint you’ll find his rosebud. With a well-lubed finger massage his pucker. If this is virgin territory for your man, he’s in for the thrill of his life. Continue to stroke both his cock and asshole. Don’t be afraid to try and push your fingertip past his sphincter. If he lets you inside, you will have access to his prostate. But even if he doesn’t, massaging the outside of his hole will bring him very close to an explosive conclusion.

9) If you’re ready to finish him off, so to speak, pick up the pace of your stroke. He will be breathing heavily now and he’ll look down over his chest at the miracle happening between his legs. Tell him to throw his legs in the air and spread them as far apart as possible. This will add considerably to the muscle tension that you’ve already built up. And a thunderous orgasm is all about muscle tension.

Now bring this puppy home. Lick his balls, finger his hole and beat his meat. Insist that he keeps his feet in he air and his legs splayed. Momentarily, he will begin to quake with building mini-orgasms. He will no doubt try to buck himself to conclusion, but don’t let him. For the moment you’re in charge down here, not him. Tease him one last time as he nears ejaculation. When he’s almost there, suddenly stop what you’re doing. This will, of course, drive him crazy. And don’t resume your stroking till he begs for it.

It will probably only take a few more strokes before he gives up the spunk. Keep your face, or at least your eyes, out of the way, because when he finally blows it will be explosive. If you’ve toyed with him for any length of time, you will have built up quite a load and it will shoot in spurts till he is empty.

10) His cock will be hypersensitive after he cums, so be gentle.

 

ANAL PLEASURE AND THE PROSTATE

1. “Male G-Spot” clarification — we’ve heard the prostate referred to as the “male G-spot,” but we’ve also heard the frenulum given the same name. Which is it? Or is this term not appropriate for either one?cake & sodomy

Male G-Spot more appropriately denotes the prostate, definitely not the frenulum. However, let’s be grown up about this and skip the unnecessary comparison between the G-Spot and anything in the male anatomy. Because that’s like saying a clit is a female penis. If we must use shorthand for the prostate, try P-Spot.

2. How should a woman go about finding and petting the prostate?

  • First, trim your fingernails and file them smooth. And before you start playing with a man’s hole have him relax.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises will help him do that.
    Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, this type of lube isn’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a nice hand job. Stroke his dick with your lubed hand to get him into his happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to his balls and taint. While his legs are open find his hole and play with his rosebud. Gently massage the area around his asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply let him get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
    If you do this while you’re stroking his cock, you will find that his hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once he’s comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of his ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking your man.
  • About an inch or so inside your man’s ass, move your finger in an upward motion along the wall of his rectum. You’ll discover a round bulb of tissue the size of a walnut — this is his prostate.
  • It shouldn’t be hard to find, particularly if your man is all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage with your fingertip. If you’re still stroking his wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets him off. In fact, you will find that his prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as he is about to shoot.
  • As he cums you will also notice that his sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt.

3. What’s the best position to put the guy in to do this?

body as art5821Your man should be on his back, while you face him between his open legs. This gives you access to cock, balls and asshole.

4. Should a girl be worried about hurting her lover while playing with his prostate?

If you go slow and are gentle, there’s nothing to be concerned with. Don’t forget to ask for feedback. And if you want to know what he is feeling, finger your hole first.

5. In your experience as a sex therapist, do you find that straight men are wary of letting their female partners explore anal play?

Oh yeah, big time! Straight guy have it in their head that ass play is gay. I always respond that would be true if only the gays had prostates.

6. If so, how would you advise a woman to address or overcome any homophobic paranoia her partner might have in regards to anal play?

This is a very delicate issue. The best a woman can do is invite him to experience the new sensations. Anything more than that can backfire. If she is too insistent, or tries to shame him into it, the guy’s fears will quickly become a phobia.

7. In your experience, is male vulnerability a factor in anal play, and if so, is there anything a woman should do or say to psychologically care for her lover?

Oh yeah! Like I said above, ass play is often associated with gay sex. The best thing a woman can do is watch some hot butt sex porn with her man, where the dude is on the receiving end of things. These are called pegging vids. Then there are How To Videos like TRISTAN TAORMINO’S EXPERT GUIDE TO ANAL PLEASURE FOR MEN.  Check out Dr Dick’s How To Video Library for loads more titles.

Look for PART 2 of this series on Friday, October 10th.

Mastering Masturbation – The finer points of Jacking and Jilling Off

A Special Workshop with Yours Truly!

When: 03/27/14 — 7PM to 9PM
Where: Foundation For Sex Positive Culture — 1608 15th Ave W.  Seattle, WA 98119  —  The Annex
Who: Anyone 18+ with ID
Cost at the Door: $25 Advance prices: $20 for Individuals, $35 for Couples and $50 for Triads.

Purchase your tickets HERE!

***Space is Limited So Get Your Tickets NOW!***
This workshop is open to all regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

They say everyone does “it,” but there’s way more to masturbation than a quick wank or furtive diddle. masturbating womanSelf-pleasuring is the most basic building block of a healthy and vibrant sex life. Most of us learn to masturbate when we are young. Most of us learn to masturbate just to relieve sexual tension. But, oh boy howdy, if that’s all you’re doing you’re totally missing out.

We’ll cover a wide variety of topics, including:

  • Finding all your hot-spots
  • Full body masturbation
  • Lubes, toys, and solo sex
  • Mutual masturbation; the key to great partnered sex at any age
  • Edging and lasting longer
  • Mutual masturbation; the key to great partnered sex at any age
  • Myths and misconceptions
  • And so much more!

male_masturbation

Remember, everyone does “it”; lets relax and enjoy it!

There will be lots of adult product to giveaway too.

foundation-for-sex-positive-culture

Ladies, get your balls on!

Hello sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday! We welcome back the award-winning Fun Toys today. As you probably recall, their fabulous G-Vibe made our Best Adult Products List For 2013.

So let’s see what they have in store for us today. And for that we turn to Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa for her review.

Fun Toys Geisha Balls —— $49.95

Christa
I was pretty sexually precocious as a teen. I had a crush on a girl at age 11. Started masturbating at 13. Had sex with a girl at 14. Had sex with a boy at 16. I liked it all. I guess all my early sexual experiences were so enjoyable because I always felt I was in charge of my body and my sexual expression. No one ever pressured me into anything, and, if the truth be told, I was often the one doing the pursuing and seducing. Not much has changed these many years later.

I learned about kegel exercises when I was a freshman in high school. I read about them in a woman’s magazine that my mother subscribed to. Since I had started masturbating a year earlier, I kinda understood the mechanics of it all. I set my mind to doing my kegels because, as the magazine article said, “they would increase the intensity of my orgasms.” Actually, I didn’t see how my orgasms could get any more intense than they were back then. There were times when I would nearly black out from the pleasure. I know, what a freak, right?geisha_balls_pix_7-1

Since then, I have been on a mission to turn people on to kegels. Take my butt-boy BF, Alex, for example. I was the first girlfriend to ever play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time. He is like this total ass whore. The funny thing is that, when this first began, he was all nervous, not that this ass play was gonna make him gay, but that he would get all stretched out down there and he would lose his shit…literally. But I told him to relax and introduced him to kegel exercises. Problem solved.

I got my first set of Ben Wa balls when I was in college. They were beautiful. They came in this really nice silk lined box with a dragon in it. I would insert them then go for a bike ride. Holy shit! Ya know I don’t even remember what became of that first set. I probably lent them to a friend and never got them back.

Nowadays, Ben Wa balls are all the rage because of those bullshit 50 Shades of Grey novels. And nowadays they come in a dazzling array of styles. This brings me to today’s review. Check out these Geisha Balls from Fun Toys. There are four balls in the set, not the usual two. The set includes the lightest and heaviest balls on the market. That’s cool because you can mix and match the balls you use at any one time. In fact, it allows for five-stages of training.

You can use the balls individually or as a pair. Heck, if you’re really adventurous, you can even use all four at once. I have, but then you would expect crazy shit like that from me, huh? And you can use them with or without the sling. These Geisha Balls are body safe, made of abs plastic and the sling is made of 100% soft medical silicone.

whats inside ballsSo if you are following what I’m saying, Geisha Balls assist in toning the muscles in your pelvic region, specifically your pubococcygeus muscle (or PC muscle). This is the muscle that is responsible for stopping the flow of pee. And just about every woman out there knows something about incontinence that comes from stress, or childbirth, or aging. But besides the utility, or training aspect, there is the pleasure aspect. And if you’ve never tried these things, you’re in for a surprise.

The Fun Toys people have thoughtfully included a very specific brochure in their package that spells out all the ways you can use the Geisha Balls. There’s no guesswork and even if you’ve never tried Ben Wa balls before, you won’t be intimidated when you get your set.

Geisha Balls come in a real nice gift box; perfect for gift giving to yourself or someone else. There’s even a sweet little drawstring storage pouch included in the box.

Here’s a tip; mothers, give a set of Geisha Balls to your teen daughters. That’s right, you heard me. Let’s cut the shit and stop pretending that teens aren’t interested in or experimenting with sex either by themselves or with a partner. There are plenty of girls out there who are as precocious as I was. There are even more who could use a helpful hand in trying to figure out the pleasure thing. And if you’re squeamish about promoting the pleasure aspect, focus on the therapeutic aspects. Either way, this is a gift that will keep on giving. And hey, it works the other way around too. Once I discovered how great the Geisha Balls are, I sanitized them by dropping the whole set, sling and all, into a pot of boiling water, dried them off, and passed the balls, sling, and gift box on to my mom. She was only slightly surprised; she’s learned that I can be pretty unpredictable when it comes to sex. I’ll have to replace my set soon.

And the Geisha Balls are so easy to use. I suggest a regiment of 15-30 minutes a day. And you don’t have to interrupt your day to train. Simply insert, and go about your business. You’ll be doing yourself a world of good and they’ll put a smile on your fact too.

You can kick up the action by trying to pull the balls out of vagina by the sling, while your muscles holds them inside. So simple!

And Alex wants me to remind you that Geisha Balls are not just for women and vaginas. They are great trainers for your butt too. And those of you with a prostate in your butt will discover some unique pleasure. I just want to add that you gotta to use the sling with the balls when using them anally.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’

Name: Heather
Gender: Female
Age: 36
Location: USA
I have been married for 10 years. I told my husband 6 years ago that I was not physically attracted to him anymore. I stopped wanting sex from him, because he just turned me off. No matter what he does — cleaning, cooking, running me a bath, eat me and so on but nothing works. I start to get wet and as soon as he gets started but I dry up like a prune what should I do? I have not had good sex in a long time.

Well, if you’re not attracted to him anymore, you’re not attracted to him anymore…plain and simple. But what I don’t get is, how come you’re old man is still hangs in there after six years of disinterest on your part? Is he some kind of glutton for punishment?he & she hips

If I was your long-suffering hubby and I was doin all this stuff, including cooking, cleaning and eatin’ out your pussy, I’d sure as hell demand an explanation for your attitude change. Of course, maybe he likes being the doormat. Some men really get off on being dominated and treated like shit. Is that why you are no longer into him, because he’s behaving like an emasculated pussy?

Or is there something else he’s done that has put you off? Did he gain weight? Does he not attend to his personal hygiene? Did he become a Republican? Ya know, things like that. If it is something he’s done or failed to do and he can change his behavior to better suit you, maybe you oughta clue him in on this.

haven't had sex in a whileHowever, if it’s not something he’s done or failed to do, but it’s you. Then he needs to know that too. You did say that you dry up like a prune. Are you using lube with your penetrative sex? Perhaps it’s your libido that’s gone south, not his relative attractiveness? Sometimes women get these two things confused. And there are any number of things that can mess up the arousal phase of your sexual response cycle.

Do you have sexual fantasies? Do you masturbate? Are horny for anyone else — either real or imagined? How’s your health? Are you on birth control? Are you depressed? Sleep deprived? Are you putting on the pounds? Could you be experiencing early-onset menopause? As you can see, there are innumerable reasons for a decrease in libido.

At any rate, Heather, you really need to get to the bottom of this, and soon, six years is a mighty long time to live like this. I’d look for a sex-positive therapist to connect with, if I were you. Clearly, you’ve been unable, in six years, to discern the cause of your attitude change on your own. It’s irresponsible to continue to drift with the status quo.

Good luck

Name: Pete
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Location: Florida
I’ve noticed that some of the skin on my dick is starting to wear away from me masturbating…there is no blood or anything like that. Just the skin turning light in color around head of my dick. I think it’s my grip. Is there a way the color will come back or have I rubbed the skin cells to death. I masturbate about 3-4 times a week. I’m not in a relationship and prefer masturbation over random sex.

Your dick skin is wearing away??? Really? What are you handling your unit with, darlin’, sandpaper?

You say you think it’s your grip. Ya think? Hey Pete, are you using lube when you stroke? Or are you just yanking away down there with wild abandon using a dry hand? If you’re not using a good jack off lube like, Spunk Lube then ya better start right away! This stuff is also great for use with condoms.jeans 1

As to the rather sudden coloration change on your dick, I’d be willing to guess that it has nothing to do with jerkin’ off, even like a maniac. More likely it’s a genetic condition known as vitiligo. And the coloration change is actually a loss in pigment. This is not a health concern. Really! Nor is it contagious. So you don’t have to worry about it in that regard. If it is indeed vitiligo, there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s irreversible, but it can and does spread.

Here’s a relatively easy way to self-diagnose this pesky, but benign condition. While naked as a jaybird, squat over a mirror. If what you have is vitiligo, you will also see the same kind of color changes (or more properly — loss of pigment) around your asshole. You may also notice it on your elbows and knees. If you are fair-skinned, the loss of pigment will be less noticeable then if you have a darker complexion.

If it’s not vitiligo, you might consider a check up with your physician. But I pretty much can guarantee you that unless you are absolutely ruthless in your masturbation technique, manhandling yourself is not the cause of the color change on your joystick.

Good luck

Worry, Worry, Worry!

Today I present a handful of concerns from the sexually worrisome.

Name: Michael
Gender: Male
Age:
Location:
How does one prepare a solution to be used for a male anal douche?

Warm water is all you need. Never use soap.body as art11

Some men add lemon juice or vinegar (1-2 Tbs per quart) of the warm water. Others dissolve (2 Tbs) of baking soda in a quart of warm water.

Stay away from commercially produced douches, most contain harmful and irritating chemicals. And trust me, you don’t want that. Besides, commercial douches are expensive and all that packaging is definitely not eco-friendly. And we all want to be green perverts, don’t we?

Finally I’d like to turn you on to the Ergo Speed Douche. Brad, of the Dr Dick Review Crew, gave it a stunning review. Check it out. You can find it, and all the products we’ve reviewed, on drdicksextoyreviews.com.

Good luck

Name: Angela
Gender: Female
Age: 14
Location:
Hi! Um how do you know whether you should be a sub or a dom? And is there a contract for a sub/dom relationship? Thank you, and bye!

Whoa, hun, there are no “shoulds” when it comes to power exchange play.

With a little more life experience under your belt, the kind that will come over the next few years, you will no doubt discover on your own whether you have tendencies for either one or the other of these roles.  I assure you that it will reveal itself to you in time.

Yes, often there is a contract of sorts that organically forms between a sub and his/her Dom. The details of which are always determined by the uniqueness of the relationship. So no need to get too far ahead of yourself in this regard either.

Hey, why don’t ya do yourself a favor and allow yourself the time you need to let your life unfold in a natural sorta way? I mean, where’s the fire? Besides, this is not something you can force or artificially accelerate.

Good luck

Name:
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: New York
Is there any cream out there that really works to promote better blood flow to my penis? I believe from over masturbating I have lost some of my hardness during sex. If not is there any thing I can take over the counter herb, vitamins, whatever that may contain certain things that can help. What is the best solution for me.

dick around on the internetHold on there, fella! You’re only a tender 22 years of age and yet you say you’ve already lost some of your “hardness” to excessive masturbation? How is this possible? How many times a day are you pullin’ your pud, darlin’? Is there something else goin on that you’re not telling me?  If not, maybe you could give your peanut a little break.  Sheesh!

To start with, penis enlargement pills and patches proliferate on internet, but there is virtually no documented evidence that they work. All such products use herbal ingredients, like ginkgo biloba and yohimbe, which act as stimulants and vasodilators. The best one can say is that some pills may enhance blood flow, which may, in some cases, cause an ever so slight increase in wood. However, once you start a program like this, you need to continue it for as long as you want the effects to last. Imagine how expensive that would be; these products are pretty pricy.

Regarding the “hardness” issue you mention. Perhaps that’s best handled by a simple cockring. Here’s a tip: always look for the low-tech solution to a problem first.

Good luck

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