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The Erotic Mind of Jesse Fox — Podcast #117 — 04/27/09


Hey sex fans,jfox

I have a really swell show in store for you today.   My guest is an award-winning erotic author who represents a very popular strain in erotic fiction.  Her work is rooted in the romance tradition and it represents a departure from the more hardcore erotic fiction penned by of some of my other guests.  I am so pleased to welcome Jesse Fox.  And in doing so I also introduce you to a mighty-mite of and online publisher, Dark Roast Press.

In my quest to bring you diverse perspectives on The Erotic Mind, I’ve been chatting with erotic artists of every stripe from all over the world.  Our aim, as you know, is to uncover something of the creative process involved with this specialized art form.

To that end Jesse represents the fascinating world of Slash.  Don’t know “slash-fic” from a hole in your head?  Well, neither did I.  At least not until the renowned author, James Lear introduced me to the topic back in February.  (Be sure to check out Part 1 and Part 2 of my conversation with James HERE and HERE.)


You’ll also want to visit Jesse online HERE!

Jesse and I discuss:

  • Her nom de plume.
  • Her writing career and how it began.
  • Fan-fic, Funny-fic, and Slash-fic.
  • The birth of Dark Roast Press.
  • Writing erotic fiction that comes out of the Romance genre.

Jesse will also treat us to very delectable selection from the fruit of her Erotic Mind.

lumiere shadowsbeneath

adarkroastedxmas darkroastval

(click on the thumbnails to get more information about these volumes)


Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.


Look for my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe.  I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by:  Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Fleshlight Sex Toy

No Song Unsung, No Wine Untasted

Hey sex fans,

Listen up!

I’m adding a new feature to my Q&A columns.  Whenever possible, I will include in my response a link to a movie in my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY (see the VOD tab at the top of the page) that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.

Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand.  I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource.

Name: Bob
Age: 48
Location: Long Island, N.Y.
Almost 20 yrs. ago I had a transexual encounter. It was different but wonderful. Now I find myself wanting to explore this experience again. I’m now married with kids and I know it’s cheating but it won’t leave my thoughts. I don’t know what to think. I love being with a woman but this hunger won’t go away and I ‘m not entirely sure if I want it to. I don’t know if this means I’m gay, bi, or what. Please, please, if you’ve any advice your help and thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Hey Bob, the question of weather this craving makes you are gay, bi or what is the least of your issues, darlin’.  You got this jones about chicks with dicks and it won’t go away because you don’t want it to go away.  It’s a hunger that you feed by starving it. And I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you will, in pretty short order, go out and get you some of this exotic monkey love, just like before you were married.  And I also predict that you will make it a habit, risks to your comfortable life and cheating on you wife not withstanding.

Here’s the thing about sexual obsessions of any stripe.  The more you starve them the more the hunger consumes you.  So rather than treat the desire head on, perhaps you need to address the underlying issues that give rise to it.  I’d be willing to speculate that your life has become so predictable, mundane and lethargic that you long to be startled a114542_xlfawake from this slumber.  You entertain these juicy revelries as a way of keeping yourself from completely succumbing to the boredom.  Am I right, Bob?  I think I am.

You see, the real issue here is not your cravings for a walk on the wild side; it’s the boredom at your core.  Desperate men do desperate things.  And bored men do foolish things.  So I suppose you need to ask yourself, to what lengths are you willing to go to satisfy this craving?  And once you answer that, the more important question remains to be answered.  How many times will you have to satisfy your craving to balance out the monotony in the rest of your life?

You see, how this has virtually nothing to do with your sexual orientation, gay, bi or whatever; it has to do with your lifestyle.

Perhaps, indulging your sexual fantasy in the relatively harmless form of some video consumption might assuage your obsession.  It sure beats skippin’ out on your wife and family to satisfy your jones.

Name: Fran
Gender:  Female
Age: 33
Location: South Africa
I have a new lover, 10 years my junior.  We meet at a play party about three weeks ago.  He is very adventuresome and totally submissive.  He told me he wants me to shave him from head to toe and he wants me to do this while he is restrained and gagged.  I’m confident about my bondage skills, but I’ve never saved anyone.  Do you have any tips?

Some gals have all the luck!  You gots yourself a submissive pup; good for you!  Just think, this shaving scene could be a real Samson and Delilah kinda set up, and hopefully one of biblical proportions.  HOT!

The overall body shave can be a bit tricky, especially for those sensitive areas of the body not used to being shaved.  You can pretty much count on some nicks and cuts and there will be a fair amount of post-shave skin irritation too.  It’s just par for the course.  Ya’ll can minimize a lot of this by attending to some fundamentals before the event begins.


Most us men have discovered that shaving our face later in the day, or better…at night makes shaving easier.  The same is true for fetish shaving.  Nighttime is the best time!  Work in a clean, well-lit place.  The darkened dungeon is good choice for after-shave play, but you’ll need lots of light for the shave itself. You also need ready access to lots of clean hot water.  So why not strap the boy to the bathroom sink, shower head, or better yet the kitchen table.

If the pup resembles the missing link, you’ll want to start the whole business by trimming his body hair as close to the skin as possible before you employ the razor. I suggest using a high quality barber shears for this.

Choose your razors carefully. Unless you are a real connoisseur and know how to wield a straight razor, stick with safety razors.  Since you’re gonna be doing his whole body, be sure to stock up on a shit-load of the quality plastic disposable kind.  You will find that the blades dull really fast when they are shaving course body hair.  Dull razors, as everyone knows, will nick and scrape more than a sharp razor.  You’ll want to minimize the number of times you pull the razor across any given patch of skin so as to minimize razor burn.

Cover the area you are about to shave with a hot, wet towel. It’ll soften the hair and makes it easier to remove.  Use lots of shaving gel.  Gel is better than shaving cream for sensitive skin.  Always shave with the growth of the hair, not against.  Be sure to have a styptic pencil or gel handy to stop bleeding when you nick the little monkey.  And depending on how fastidious you are; keep a pair tweezers handy for yanking out the stray hairs you and your razor miss.  This will give your sub something to remember!

No matter how careful you are, there will always be microscopic nicks and cuts afterwards. Left untreated, this can leave the skin open to a nasty infection. To prevent this, apply a liberal amount of an astringent, like which hazel.  Hydrogen peroxide is and excellent and inexpensive alternative.

Ya know those nasty little red bumps that are caused by ingrown hairs?  You can cut down on these little buggers by buffing the freshly shaved area with a cosmetic buff pad.  Finally, a liberal application of a moisturizer is recommended to cut down on the itching that will inevitably follow.  If the sub has never done this before, he will soon find out that he will be plagued by itching as his hair starts to grow in.  Too bad for him, huh?

As you can see, this is gonna be a whole lot of work for you.  And there’s gonna be a lot of clean up too.  Lucky for you, you’ll have a freshly shaved sub to do all the work while you relax kick your feet up and eat your bonbons.

This might be helpful too — check out my review of The Ultimate Personal Shaver Kit HERE!

Here are some video suggestions to accompany my thoughts.

a90475_xlf a81502_xlf

Name: Susie
Age: 25
Location: Indianapolis
My husband and I are beginning to experiment with some light bondage and discipline.  We’d like to know more about this and how to play safely.  Unfortunately, because of his job we are stuck here in Indianapolis for another whole year.  We have yet to find even one other person around here who shares our kink.  So we don’t have anyone to ask about this.

Ahhh, the joys of the heartland.  I’d be willing to guess there are other kinky pervs, like you guys, right there in Indian-apollis, but they don’t know how to find you anymore than you guys know how to find them.  Kinda sad, huh?  Well probably ya’ll are gonna need to turn to them internet tubes for the help you’re looking for.  Kink and BDSM sites abound.  Almost all of them have great “how to” and “helpful tips” sections geared to the budding kinkster.  Several of these sites also feature profiles, chat rooms and bulletin boards for like-minded folks to connect and play.

For something really special, check out my newest podcast series — Sex EDGE-U-cation.  I’m chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.

But since you are here, darlin’, I do have some preliminary thoughts to share.  First, every scene should be negotiated before play begins.  Never bypass this important step even if the two of you only play with one another.  Ya see, what you don’t want to have happen is to break the mood mid-scene to ask a question or seek direction.  All that should be taken care of before you start the play.  Get use to working out all the logistics a head of time.  These important negotiation sessions will also force you to communicate with each other and give you a ready vocabulary for talking with other prospective partners should the opportunity ever arise.

Negotiating a BDSM scene is not a “I’ll do this for you if you do that for me” sort of deal, like in vanilla sex.  Rather it’s an honest discussion about you and your partner’s wants, needs, expectations and limits for the scene. Regardless if you are the dominant top or a submissive bottom, you must be equal partners when negotiating each scene.

If you do this sort of play a lot, the negotiations may become perfunctory.  But like I said, a114592_xlf1they ought never be skipped.  The nature of these negotiations is to set parameters, ascertain boundaries and establish limits — for example the intensity and duration of the scene. You may find that you need to set a time limit for your play, or discuss the type of restraints and means of discipline to be used.  Debriefing (also known as Aftercare), once the scene is ended, is also a real good idea.  You’ll, of course, need to establish safewords for your play.  And if you don’t know what those are; you’d best stick to vanilla.

The more experience you have, the more likely you will develop a shorthand for negotiating your play.  However, the less experienced you are, the more important it will be to spell out absolutely everything.  Your negotiations ought to be a frank and open discussion, no holds bared as it were.  Remember, you are not in the scene yet.  So no one, dom or sub, has more input than the other.  Speak and question one another freely.

The first question the dom needs to ask of the sub is “What are your limits?” Be specific, direct and pointed when you ask about one’s limits. The novice sub may not know his or her limits, so the dom will have to proceed with the utmost caution.  This is where the safeword will most likely come into play.

The sub ought to have unqualified trust in the dom; without this the scene isn’t play, it’s abuse. Remember, there is never room for coercion in the negotiations.  Save the guilt tripping, shame-inducement and intimidation for the scene itself.

Here’s some at homework for you and your husband.  Check out The Surrender Of O.  This is just one of the exceptionally fine enrichment videos in my How To Video Library.

Name: juan
Gender: Male
Age: 32
When me and my wife have sex I like to cum in her ass. Is that bad for her?

If her’s is the only ass you cum in, there’s no problem.

However, if you’re dippin’ you wick in other bung-holes, or have multiple partners of any sort, exchanging bodily fluids is not recommended.

Good luck ya’ll

Totally Wacky

Sex Fans, The Dr Dick Review Crew has something totally wacky for ya today. It’s a WhackSock! Say WHAT? You heard me; a WhackSock. It’s a sock ya wear on your cock when ya wank. How fun is that? I guess it’s intended to keep your spooge off the furniture, don’t’ cha know.

This week’s Review Crew:

  • Glenn & Hank

WhackSock 6 pack $9.99

Glenn: “I got this huge smile on my face today, because I had a flashback to when I was a kid. I started masturbating when I was 11, but nothing came out till I was almost 13. Before I was able to ejaculate I could cum multiple time in one session. But once I started to shoot a wad when I wanked I could only cum once per session. Actually, I only had to wait a few minutes before I could resume my diddling.”
Hank: “I think they call that the ‘refactory period’. It’s part of a male’s sexual response cycle.”
Glenn: “Yeah, I know that! So as I was saying, before Professor Bingo over here interrupted me, I was surprised as all get out when I shot my first spunk. I thought I had injured myself. Since I was totally unprepared for the eruption I had to do something with the evidence ASAP. My mother would soon round the corner and come barging into my room.”
Hank: “Did she bust you spankin’ the monkey?”
Glenn: “Not that time, I’m happy to say! It took some quick thinkin on my part. But I label_low_20rez_1_-276x350discovered that ya could hide your boy juice in a dirty sock, and your old lady wouldn’t be the wiser.”
Hank: “Damn, you’re clever! I’d be willing to bet the just about every guy on the planet has dropped a load into a sock at one point or another.”
Glenn: “Yeah, it’s probably something in our DNA, huh? So anyway, that’s why I had to laugh when Dr Dick asked us to review the
WhackSock. My masturbation-obsessed youth came flooding back to me.”
Hank: “I know, I used to discard the socks I busted a nut in. I was afraid my mom would find me out. This, of course, backfired one day when my ever-vigilant mother uncovered a tangle of crusty socks in the trash. It didn’t take her long to put two and two together. This precipitated the big ‘sex talk’ with mommy that make my skin crawl. I was also marched off to confession to tell the priest about my disgusting and sinful behavior.”
Glenn: “I’ll bet the priest got off on that, huh?”
Hank: “Probably! I was a strappin’ young lad of over 6’ tall with ragin’ hormones and an unruly big dick. I was hung over 8” when I was just 15. It was so embarrassing, because I used to pop wood at the drop of a hat. I though having a big, precum drippon’ dick was a curse.”
Glenn: “Glad you got over that, cuz I love your one-eyed monster. But we digress! Let’s get whacksockback to the WhackSock. It’s a specifically designed cottony sock made for male masturbation. At least that’s what it says on the
WhackSock site.”
Hank: “Yep, it’s basically a tubesox; no bigger than what a young kid might wear on his feet. But it does stretch.”
Glenn: “And that’s where the fun began for us. Hank and I went to a costume party last month and our costumes consisted of a
WhackSock and nothing more. Hank’s trouser snake was the life of the party, literally and figuratively.”
Hank: “The stretchy cotton material could barely contain my johnson, so to speak.”
Glenn: “And it was all over when he got a boner! I loved it. I got to tell everyone that I am the lucky man that gets to have that hog up my ass whenever I want it. Tell me that didn’t make me the envy of all the queens at the party.”
Hank: “When we got home from the party, we both blissfully beat off into our
WhackSock, just like god intended.”

…full review here



A Thrill A Minute

Look for my new

Product Reviews!


Sex Fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew is BACK! We’re all rested and relaxed and ready to tackle whatever cums our way.

We begin 2009 with a bang.  We have three vibes from Synergy Erotic.  They’re a relatively new company with a wonderful corporate philosophy, which includes everything from quality manufacturing to subtle yet effective packaging.  Good for them!

This week’s Review Crew includes:
Angie — Reviews #12, 16, 26
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

Luscious Thrill-Her, Lavender $18.99

Angie introduces us to Luscious Thrill-Her.

This is a sweet and petite personal vibrator (5 1/2 inch long and 1 1/2 inch in diameter).  It features a small diameter, which is ideal for the novice user.  Luscious Thrill-Her is perfect for both anal stimulation and vaginal stimulation.  It has a solid vibrator core that is encased in a sensual outer skin made of a product called Ultra-Gelle.  It is soft, pliable and very comfortable to use.


I tried to do a little behind the scenes sleuthing to ferret-out what this Ultra-Gelle is composed of, but I wasn’t successful.  I am generally wary of new materials that might contain hazardous or allergenic materials.  I was delighted to see that Ultra-Gelle is Phthalate free.  Thank you for that!  It says so right on the package, which is good for marketing.  I always look for that designation on any soft material, like Ultra-Gelle.  And so should you; especially if the toy is intended for insertion.  I am unable to say if Ultra-Gelle is latex-free or not.  If you have a latex allergy, you might contact the manufacturer for more information before you buy.  That’s always the safest bet.

Luscious Thrill-Her has several features I like very much.  First, it is waterproof, so it’s great to use in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration.  This toy should only be used with water-based lube, however.

Clean up is easy; mild soap and warm water does just fine. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

Luscious Thrill-Her runs on 2 ‘AAA’ Batteries, but the first set of batteries is not included in the package. This is a pet peeve for everyone on Dr Dick’s Review Crew.  We feel as though no one should be creating battery-operated toys without including the first set of batteries in the package.

Luscious Thrill-Her comes in several fetching colors.  I confidently recommend this petite insertable.”

Full review HERE.

Squirmy Touch-Me, Lavender    $24.99

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Squirmy Touch-Me.

Glenn:  “Hey, ya wanna see my pink penis?”
Hank:  “Actually, it’s lavender, dude; not pink.”
Glenn:  “Oh, ok!  Hey, ya wanna see my lavender penis?”
Hank:  “Why are you always so wacky?”
Glenn:  “Ahhh, because god made me that way?  Besides, were talking about toys, aren’t we?  That call for a little levity, right?”  😉


Hank:  “Alright then, let’s have it your way.  So Glenn, why don’t you show us your pretty new lavender penis.”
Glenn:  “Maybe I will.  Squirmy Touch-Me is 8 1/2 inch of vibrating cock.  It even looks like a cock. And when I’m buggerin’ myself, or having someone else cornholein’ me; I like the weapon of ass-destruction to look like a cock, OK?  I’m old fashioned that way.  If you don’t like your toys to look like a wang; that’s fine with me.  But I do; so there!  And check this out; Squirmy Touch-Me has a flexible shaft that bends then holds its shape.  I absolutely love it!”
Hank:  “Squirmy Touch-Me has this very interesting articulated spine so that the vibrating tip reaches your prostate (or G-spot) each and every time.  Then it does a little dance that’ll really put a smile on your face.”
Glenn:  “It has the same Ultra-Gelle skin, as the product Angie showed you earlier.  I like the feel of it in my hands, but even more so up my ass.”
Hank: “The same cleaning instructions that Angie gave you apply to the Squirmy Touch-Me, so I won’t repeat them.  But I do want to emphasize the water-based lube precaution.  You wouldn’t want to mess up this toy with a silicone-based or oil-based lube.”
Glenn:  “It’s waterproof, which I really love.  Rammin’ this baby home in the shower in the morning makes the perfect start to each and every day.  Oh, and it two speeds — yummy and even more yummier.”
Hank:  “We want to second what Angie said about the batteries.  When we’re faced with a choice of toys of equal worth; one with batteries in the package and one without; we always choose the one with batteries.  We want to support the companies who are going the extra mile.”
Glenn:  “Considering the price of this puppy, it’s a great starter vibrating dildo for anyone lookin for a little Gelle fun.”

Full review HERE.

Vibe-Me Massager, Luster Blue    $11.99

Jada introduces us to the Vibe-Me Massager.

Isn’t this a beauty?  It’s so shiny and sleek.  It looks like it’s made of metal, but it’s not.  The Vibe-Me Massager is an 8-inch hard plastic bodied waterproof vibrator.  There’s nothing soft of squishy here.  It contains a powerful motor, yet it is very quiet.  I really appreciate that.  I hate it when toys are loud enough to wake the dead.


The Vibe-Me Massager has several features I liked very much.  Like the two other vibes that we are featuring today, mine is also waterproof.  Angie, Glenn and I agree that a waterproof vibe is so convenient to use when one is already naked…like in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration, just like the one Angie showed you.

Because the Vibe-Me Massager is non-porous, you can use any sort of personal lube you’d like with this toy.   I’m partial to silicone-based lube, so that’s what I use.  But water-based lube works equally well. The Vibe-Me Massager will stay slick either way.

Clean up is easy — mild soap and warm water works fine.  But you can sanitize more fully with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  This is a highly recommended procedure if you will be sharing your toys.

The bullet shape makes insertion effortless.  And I must say I love the metallic blue color, it’s so pretty.

Unlike my friend Glenn here, I have a preference for a less penis identifiable shape to my dildos.  So does my husband.  I’m sure I would feel the same way he does if I were a man using an insertable on a woman.  Who needs the obvious comparison between the dildo and the real thing?

And just to make it unanimous, I concur with everyone else on the battery issue.”

Full review HERE.


Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #94 — 01/12/09

Hey sex fans,

I have a really delectable show for you today. We have a big hot juicy load of stimulating questions from the sexually worrisome. And I respond with an equal number of dazzling, engaging and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

And just to mix things up a bit, I’m gonna throw in a nice Sex In The News feature.

But before we begin I have a few words about the new site design.  First, I hope you like the result of our long-awaited facelift.  We have a nice new warm color palette goin on and a spiffy new header.  But while the cosmetic changes are pleasing to the eye, the real big changes are just below the skin.

There are two new features that I think you’ll want to know about.  They will assist you in using the site more effectively.  The first is up top of the site among the page headings. Ya see the — My Stockroom, Product Reviews, etc. tabs, right?  Good.  Now look for the SITEMAP tab.  Click on that and you will have an instant overview of all the content on; and there is a shit-load of it, don’t cha know!  Currently, there are 41 pages represented.  You will notice that these are divvied up by CATEGORY.   Each category is has numerous sub-headings and under each subheading you will find all the postings and podcasts that feature the subject matter.  Pretty freakin nifty, huh?

You can also do the same sort of search from the CATEGORY section in the sidebar.  There you will find the 14 major categories laid out for easy viewing.  Click on any of the categories and Presto!  All the subcategories appear.  Click on any of the subcategories and again, Presto! A list of all the postings and podcasts that feature the subject matter magically appear.

There’s one final feature that’ll nock your socks off.  Again, look under the CATEGORY section in the sidebar, there you will see the category:  PODCASTS.   Click on it and it will unfold a complete list of all my podcasts.  Why you can’t beat that with a stick.  This new feature replaces the old and outdated Podcast Archive that we used to have.

I hope these new features will make my site more accessible and interesting.  And of course, I invite your comments and questions.

  • Rachel thinks she ready to be a dominatrix.  I beg to differ.
  • Daniel had sex with his friend.  Now he regrets it.
  • Dave has a short fuse and he turns to his “dad” for help.

Finally a SEX IN THE NEWS feature — “Recent Survey says  Internet satisfies better than sex!”


Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.


Look for my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.
Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S STOCKROOM.


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