It’s Product Review Friday again! This week I have Part 2, of a two part series, aimed at the men folk in our audience. This week’s product, as well as last week’s product, come to us from the ingenious people over at Bodispa.
But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all of our reviews in the Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews Archive. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in “Giddyup” and PRESTO!
PRO-LONG R 15ml —— $24.95
I outted myself on the job last week. I hope this doesn’t come back and bite me in the ass one of these days.
There are very few people who know that Karen and I do these reviews for Dr Dick. We like the anonymity and we like having a little secret that only a couple of our closest friends know about. But there’s this guy at work, who is about 20 years younger than me, who treats me like his wise older brother. And let’s just say he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. At any rate he is forever telling me about his sexual conquests. Except that most of the time it’s failure instead of conquest. He is absolutely clueless about women.
Karen thinks he’s adorable, in a young and dumb and full of cum sort of way. So she says, “He looks up to you, why don’t you try and help him out. Think of all the wear and tear you will prevent on all the poor women he dates.” Karen was right. The kid’s not a bad lot, just clueless.
So I start telling him some of the things I’ve learned about women and sex and he’s like all mouth-agape staring at me in wonder. “Dude, how do you know all this shit?” I tell him, “I’m a fuckin’ genius, that’s how I know all this shit.” And this is where I make my fatal mistake. I tell him about the Review Crew. He doesn’t believe me, so I show him the Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews site and I point out one of our reviews. He says, “Hey, that ain’t you; your name ain’t Jack!” I tell him, “We don’t use our real names, Sherlock!” So he says, “Well I’ll be damned.”
My coworker’s biggest problem is he doesn’t get laid enough. No surprise there, I suppose. And because of that, he jerks off all the time. This I understand completely because I used to be just like him when I was his age, a wankin’ maniac. Because he beats off all the time, and always does so in a hurry he has trained his body to cum with very little stimulus. This gives him a hair-trigger, if ya know what I mean. When he’s on a date and about to get lucky, he no sooner get his pants off when he blows his load. He has become so self-conscious about this that he’s afraid to even ask a chick out for drinks. This inevitably leads to more desperation and more furious masturbation. A vicious cycle, no?
So I tell Bobby, that’s my coworker’s name, “I have something I want you to try. I think it will help.” And this is where I introduce him to today’s product, PRO-LONG R. It’s a desensitizing spray for men. It’s very effective, fast-acting, and is super easy to apply, discreet too.
PRO-LONG R is formulated for guys like Bobby. I know we all joke about PE (premature ejaculation), but it’s no laughing matter. Poor Bobby is a wreck over it all.
Of course, before I could recommend PRO-LONG R to anyone, I had to try it myself. I was immediately impressed. Here’s what ya do. 5-15 minutes before the action begins, ya pump on a few sprays (3-8) of this stuff on your cockhead and the underside of your unit. Let it sink in and dry and you’re ready to rock on. Seriously, that’s all that’s to it.
PRO-LONG R contains a 7.5% benzocaine solution, the active ingredient. Apparently, benzocain is safer than the alternative, lidocain, which many other desensitizing products use. I did my homework, and sure enough, I found benzocaine in several over the counter remedies from ointments for hemorrhoidal relief, gels for toothache pain and sprays for sunburn relief. Who knew?
The first time I tried PRO-LONG R there was a slight burning sensation. It wasn’t awful or anything; I must have had some kind of abrasion on my cock (pulling my pud too much or too hard?) because the alcohol in the product stung as alcohol does. As soon as the product sank into my skin and dried, the sensation went away. There was no redness or any other kind of irritation, so I guessed we were all good. The second time I used the spray there was no burning sensation at all.
I’m gonna tell you what I told Bobby. Use a condom when you use PRO-LONG R. There’s two good reasons. First, a condom will further decrease some of the sensations in your dick, which is a good thing when you have PE. And second, on the off chance that some of the PRO-LONG R hasn’t completely sunk into your skin; you don’t want to pass on any residue to your partner. You don’t want their parts—pussy, or ass, or whatever—to be desensitized, just because you need to work on your orgasmic control, right?
So you’re all probably wondering about Bobby, huh? Here’s the thing, PRO-LONG R worked for him too. He’s still a doofus and he has lots to learn when it comes to the ladies, but now he’s feeling better about his control. PRO-LONG R boosted his confidence too. So good on him!
Full Review HERE!
The reason I am writing is because my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year, and we’ve been having some problems with sex. The problem is that I have difficulty getting to a climax. The problem with this is that my boyfriend feels like he has not accomplished anything if he can’t get me off (which generally nobody is able to do). The only way that I am able to climax is during anal sex and my boyfriend does not want that all the time and has become skittish about doing it at all because of some difficulties with this earlier in the relationship (I am not very experienced).
This issue is starting to drive a wedge between us, and neither of us wants to break up over this. So we are asking for some advice as to what we can do, or what we can try. One thought that I have had is that maybe I am nervous when I’m with other people because while I have difficulty climaxing when I’m with somebody, I have no difficulty at all when I’m alone.
Please give us any advice you can, or point us to somebody who might be able to help us.
Ok, let’s take this apart piece by piece, shall we? You’re unable to cum through partnered sex, despite the willingness of your BF to try and please you as much as humanly possible, right? But you are orgasmic; I mean you can cum when you are by yourself, right? This suggests to me that you are suffering from performance anxiety.
While performance anxiety is mostly talked about in terms of men and their erection problems, they don’t have a monopoly on the annoying issue. It’s an arousal phase concern and we all have an arousal phase regardless of our gender.
I’d be willing to guess that since you say you are not very experienced with sex, you may be creating a level of anxiety that short-circuits your pleasure. Sad to say, this often plagues younger women the most. Young women tend to have less self-esteem. And if they are new to sex, they may not know what they are doing, which can be not only frustrating, but also distracting.
So let me ask you a few questions. First and foremost, what’s going on in your mind when you are having sex with a partner? Are you focused on the pleasure you are giving and receiving? Or are you focused, like so many people on something other than that?
If your mind is busy with how you look, or how you smell, or if you are wondering if that birthmark of yours is too obvious. Or if you’re worried about how accomplished you are at performing a particular sex act; then you may have performance anxiety. If you anxious about what your partner thinks of you, if he’s turned on by you, or loves you, or is just bangin’ away at you like a side of beef; then you may have performance anxiety. If you’re afraid to let go and have a screamin’ meme of an orgasm, because it might not look lady-like, or you’re not sure you can trust the person who’s bumpin’ you enough to just relax and enjoy the ride; then you may have performance anxiety.
It also appears from what you say that your BF could also be developing a complex since he’s unable to pleasure you to climax. So let’s see if we can nip this in the bud before it gets to be a full-blown dysfunction.
Many women report that their partnered sex is not as satisfying as their solo sex, because they’re not able to stimulate themselves in the same fashion in partnered sex as they do when they’re jillin’ off. If you are self-conscious about showing your partner the particulars of gettin yourself off, or too intimidated to incorporate a vibrator in your love making, you might not be getting the kind of stimulation you need when you need it. Thus you might be aroused, but not to the point of lettin’ one loose…if ya catch my drift.
I am also very curious about another thing you mention. You say; “The only way that I am able to climax is during anal sex and my boyfriend does not want that all the time and has become skittish about doing it at all because of some difficulties with this earlier in the relationship.” That’s downright amazing. Butt fuckin’ get you off, but not traditional, cock in cooch, sex? Holy cow! How did you come to be so well acquainted with anal sex when you claim you are not very experienced with sex in general? I’d be very interested in hearing more about that, don’t cha know.
Finally, may I suggest that you and the BF take advantage of Dr Dick’s How To Video Library. It is chock full of swell videos that you guys can watch together. This might be the very thing ya’ll need to break open a conversation about the kind of sex you are having as opposed the kind of sex you both desire.
A lot of the videos in my library will teach you how to ask for what you need and want. How to shake things up and add some spice to your sex play. You’ll learn new ways of pleasuring one another. And, most importantly, how to relax and enjoy yourselves. Once you guys learn how to effectively communicate with one another about sex, you will have gone a great distance in clearing the air of unnecessary sexual anticipation. You’ll both be able to relax into the event itself and enjoy yourselves more. Here is just a tiny sampling of titles to look for:
In my How To Video Library you’ll be able to search by stars, like Nina Hartley or Tristan Taormino. You can search by Directors, like Michael Perry or Jamye Waxman. Or you can search by topic, like cunnilingus, toys or anal pleasure. And the best part is that this wealth of information is right there at your fingertips.
Hey sex fans! Welcome back.
That internationally famous sexologist, sex educator, author, relationship expert, advice columnist, and television and radio personality Dr. Yvonne Fulbright is back with us today for Part 2 of her turn on the SEX WISDOM show. And that means I get to ask her all the questions I didn’t get to last week. So yay for that!
But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of this show, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #389 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.
Yvonne and I discuss:
- Sex coach/sex therapy;
- Sexual performance concerns for women — preorgasmia;
- Performance anxiety;
- Sexual performance concerns for men — premature ejaculation;
- Masturbation and self-pleasuring;
- Expanding our sexual repertoire;
- Sex trends — circumcision;
- Erection enhancers;
- The G-spot debate;
- Sex play;
- Who inspires her and her sexual heroes.
Click on the book covers below for more information about Yvonne’s books.
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!
Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.
Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: SPUNK Lube.
Location: Saugatuck Michigan
Hi– linked to your very interesting site via Allkink. My question: last year I underwent radiation on my prostate; it was enlarged and had cancer cells. Apparently it did the job, since my PSA is way down and the Dr. says I’ve shrunk, and am healthy otherwise. But since then I am almost totally impotent (don’t get erect when I want to, though sometimes get semi-erect at random times). I can still orgasm, but don’t ejaculate; sometimes a little clear fluid dribbles out afterwards. Curiously, I could still ejaculate during and right after the radiation treatments, but not now. Also in general a noticeable decrease in libido. Needless to say, very annoying.
I’m gay, solo, in my 70s, celibate since mid-1980s when I tested HIV-, and a dedicated bottom. I knew I was at risk, and “safe-sex” just didn’t turn me on. I’ve been using dildos of all sizes for years. Now, insertion has become a little painful (kinda stings, like the first times way back when), but after several tries they go in OK. Those of larger girth or not-very-smooth texture are really difficult, and I’ve pretty much given up on them (though “John Holmes” still works!). There is occasionally a little blood on the dildo afterwards, but bleeding doesn’t persist, and Dr. says I have no hemorrhoid. The radiologist did warn me that the treatment might produce scar tissue in the colon. Is that a possibility?
I hate to think that I ought to give up altogether on my little pleasures, but would welcome you advice/opinion. I haven’t discussed this with my urologist, whom I don’t know very well, but did bring it up with my (female) GP, who didn’t seem overly concerned and merely suggested lots of lube, which was not news to me.
Wow, Roger, that was a mouthful. I am so delighted that you wrote in. I love hearing from folks in their 60’s 70’s and 80’s who are still enjoying a rich and fulfilling sex life, even if it is by themselves. I am of the mind that self-pleasuring can be some of the most rewarding sex available to a person at any age. And nowadays, with all the amazing sex toys on the market, one can enjoy solitary sexual pleasure like never before.
I’ve written and spoken a lot about prostate issues including the aftermath of cancer treatments. May I suggest that you take a look at the CATEGORY section on the sidebar of my site? There you will find a category labeled “Health Concerns.” There are subcategories for “Anal Fissures,” and one for “Prostatectomy.” I realize that you haven’t had a radical prostatectomy, but your situation is very similar to those men who have. If you click on either of those two subcategories you will find loads of useful information in both written and podcasts form.
In the meantime, let me see if I can address some of your questions in a nutshell. You ask about possible scar tissue from radiation therapy. The short answer is; yes, scar tissue is possible, even probable. And as we all know scar tissue is not nearly as pliable as regular tissue. Scar tissue also has fewer nerve ending than normal tissue. You could be injuring yourself without even knowing it since the sensations in your ass are considerably less then they once were. I’d be willing to guess that this might be the source of the bleeding you report. Maybe you need to retire the really big toys, like the John Holmes, and enjoy something more modest for the time being. Another suggestion is to try an inflatable dildo. or a smaller insertable that vibrates. There are several on the market. You can find several in My Stockroom. The advantage to something like the inflatable dildo is that you could insert something relatively narrow and inflate to a larger size once inside. This would avoid ramming a big dildo in bum from the get go. And a vibrating insertable would add stimulation without the length or girth.
As to your erection issues; yeah, I hear ya. Aging alone will take its toll on the hydraulics that give us wood. When you couple that with the trauma of invasive surgery and/or radiation therapy, well it’s no wonder stiffies elude us. I tell the men that I see in my private practice, who are similarly challenged as you, to use a cock ring to assist in getting the best boner possible under the circumstances. A penis pump works pretty well too, if you want to go the distance. I have lots more to say about these devices if you care to hear about it.
Also, several men I know with erection concerns are taking a cue from the women folk and employing a vibrator in their sex play. There are the insertable kind, as I’ve already mentioned, and there are external ones too. Have you given this option a thought? The extra stimulation a vibrator can produce will increase blood flow and thus a more substantial boner. I have a whole lot more to say about this too if you care to write to me for that information.
In the end, it will be desire that will continue to propel you to further enjoy yourself and the pleasures your body has to offer. I wish you continued lust and many more years of healthy and life-affirming sexuality.