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Do Do That Voodoo That You Do So Well!

A curious lot today, don’t cha know. Some folks are simply confused about the concept. Others are just pulling my leg.

Name: agrah
Gender:
Age: 30 ish
Location: michigan
I am curious what the pregnancy rate is for people using anal sex as a means of birth control. While its not my method, (I have an IUD) it is disturbing to me that people think anal sex is fool proof birth control.

HUH? Girl, how’s a chick gonna get pregnant via ass fucking? You explain that to me and I’ll be happy to comment further.

Name: Rocket Man
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: Nashville4_afro.jpg
Big Dr. Dick, Between busy work schedules, travelling and such, I had not had much time for sex. It was actually about a 5 week span without sex or masturbation. When my wife and I finally got together I was built up big time. I new my response would be quick and my load would likely triple it’s normal oozeage. Being that it had been so long, there was not much foreplay…we just wanted to get down to the hardcore humping. I was sitting on a couch and she climbed on top. On her 3rd downstroke, I blew like a friday afternoon work whistle. She shot off my cock back first into the coffetable, broke it in half and received a few splinters in her ass! Should we replace this piece of furniture, or should I just make her kneel in the floor and rest my legs on her when she’s done sucking me off in the future?

You Nashville folks have all the fun! You get extra points for making me laugh. Perhaps all ya need is sturdier furniture.

PS: don’t be surprised if I steal this: “I blew like a Friday afternoon work whistle.” That’s downright hilarious.

Name: colleen
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: california
I have noticed lately that i am way more horney than normal it is like I can’t ever get enough and the slightes touch gets me going. Also my natural smell from my vagina seems to be extra strong lately and sometimes after my husband and i have sex I have a clear but chunky discharge. I was regulalry with summers eve wash and I have never smelled so strong as I do now. I feel like I am a dog in heat. What is wrong with me?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? Simply put, you’re 28 and you’re as randy as all get-out, darling. Sounds like you’re pert-near feral. If you were in the wild your super-strong odor would attract males from far and wide; each and every one hoping for his opportunity to satisfy your vixen lusts.

And that “clear but chunky discharge” you’re having after the hubby bones you? Doll, I’d be willing to guess that’s his spooge drippin’ out of your cunt. Ahhh, youth!

Name: lulu
Gender:
Age: 19
Location: dallas
normally my boyfriend wears a condom and if he doesnt he always pulls out, but the other day he cummed inside me and it stung horribly. is this normal??

Hell, no! That ain’t normal, honey. Nobody’s jizz is supposed to sting, unless it gets in your eye!

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin around without always using a condom? You actually trust him to pull out in time…every time? What kind of cockamamie contraceptive strategy is that?

I sure as hell hope you puppies are doubling up on birth control — he, a condom; you, the pill or a diaphragm. Slip-ups happen like clockwork for youngens, like you. That’s why it’s better to be doubly safe than eternally sorry.

Get it done, LuLu! Clearly, your numbskull BF doesn’t use the good sense god gave him, or he’d seal himself in latex before he jumped your bones. Unplanned pregnancies can ruin lives!

Name: Mace
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: Oklahoma City
5497486_400.jpg I have an issue with my current girlfriend. She and I are both on the same page with a high sex drive. We both also put a higher priority on satisfying the other before ourselves. My problem is this, I tend to take a longer time to orgasm than my mate. Although she is physically satisfied, she is discouraged at her own sexual prowress because she believes that my climaxing when she does shows that I am as turned on as her. How can I ensure a matching climax, or reassure her that I still think she’s sexy even though I don’t climax?

If it ain’t one thing, it’s another. Are simultaneous orgasms really all that important? Hey, If it happens, it happens. Fine! But personally, I think they’re vastly overrated. Obviously, being turned on and climaxing are not the same thing, so have the GF chill out. Besides, lots of people find it a huge turn on to watch their partner cum. And one can’t hardly enjoy the show if one is busy producing his or her own display, right?

Mark my words, the added pressure to cum simultaneously will only induce a serious case of performance anxiety in one or the both of you. And that will sure-as-shootin’ throw a monkey wrench into the sweet thing you guys got goin on.

Name: sarah
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: detroit
why do anal sex hurt so bad what can i do to stop the pain

Nope, it doesn’t always hurt so bad. Sometimes it hurts so good.

Chances are the guy who’s pluggin you doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doin. Just because he has a cock and you have a bunghole don’t make you experts butt pirates.

You kids need to read this: Liberating The B.O.B. Within

Good luck ya’ll!

Several Steamy Summer Solstice Sexual Situations — SOLVED!

Don’t you just love alliteration?

Summer is here…at least in the northern hemisphere. All hail Sol Invictus! Instead of being outdoors enjoying the beautiful weather we’re having here in the Emerald City, I’m stuck indoors, at this freakin’ keyboard. HELP! Maybe if I hurry up and get my homework done, my mom will let me go out and play.

Name: john
Gender:
Age: 58
Location: Detroit
married and testing the water, so to speak. Was with a man who is HIV and I swallowed a couple of drops of his cum. Should I be concerned/worried?

gettestedposter-english2.pngAhhhh, yeah! I’d sure enough be concerned, if I were you. I’d be concerned enough to get tested, that’s for sure — not just now, but again in 6 weeks or so. While it’s not overly likely that you’ve sero-converted by this incident alone, stranger things have happened.

I am of the mind that all sexually active people (especially you people who are being sexual outside of your primary relationships) be tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections regularly…at least twice a year. All you sexual athletes out there should test every other month. You shouldn’t even think about it, you should just do it. It is painless, discreet, but most importantly, it’s the responsible thing to do. If you make it part of your lifestyle, then there will be no embarrassment associated with the trip to your doctor or the local clinic. Made this happen, people.

Good luck

Name: Frank
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: Brazil
I have never had sex with anyone before and i believe i am straight, as i feel attrakted towrds girls, but every now and again i like watching gay porn. is this a sign that i’m bisexual or gay? or is it just curiosity?

Can’t hardly say what you are, Frank. Maybe it’s too soon to be giving yourself a label.

What I can tell you is, I’m as queer as a $3 dollar bill (as we say here in America), and I sometimes watch straight porn. That sure as hell don’t make me straight…don’t even make me bi, honey. I guess that just leaves…curious, huh?

Good luck

Name: asianIndian
Gender:
Age: 24
Location: San Diego, CA
I have been masturbating almost everyday for the past 10 years now. Last year was the first time I tried to get laid off. It was with a 30 woman and I found that I was not able to retain the stiffness of my dick while pumping her. At the end I had to pull out and masturbate to ejaculate. I tried it couple of more women on different occasion and I faced with the same problem. All the three times I had to pull out and masturbate with my hand. I felt really embarrassed and I am afraid of going out with any other women. I also noticed that when I masturbate I do it vigorously and for a prolonged period of time. But when I was having sex I was not able to pump the women for more than 3-4 minutes, I felt part exhausted and my penis too looses its stiffness. How can I over come this major problem?

Name: tanya
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: ca
my boyfriend has trouble cuming durning sex.he can cum if we are doing anael or I give him a blow job. he takes a long time to cum if we do doggie style. but he cant cum most the time and he cant cum if hes on top. can it be metal or health wise? help please.

You guys are a real pair! I thought I’d respond to you both at the same time.

pic13981.jpgLots of guys find it difficult to cum in penis/vagina fucking. Sometimes there’s simply not enough friction due to flabby, out of shape untoned pussy muscles. Tanya darling, are you doing your Kegel exercises? You should be, if you’re not. If the BF can get off in your ass and with your mouth and hand, then that tells me you have more of a grip in these other orifices then you do in your whoha. It’s not the end of the world. It can be remedied with a little exercise.

Mr. AsianIndian, maybe your masturbation technique gives you more direct cock stimulation than what you get inside a pussy. If that’s the case, you’ll probably have to learn to masturbate with a lighter touch or find a tighter snatch. You could also try masturbating till you get close to shooting, and then stick it in again. Either way, there’s no need to feel embarrassed. Like I said, lots of guys can’t get off by fucking alone. Just like lots of women don’t have vaginal orgasms. They need to stimulate their clit for that.

Good luck

Name: james
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: lewes, de
is there a way i can make my dick bigger without pills. my dick is so small i cant do alot of the positions i like. i even slip out doin misonary. so can you help me.

Name: ali
Gender:
Age: 39
Location: glasgow
what is the best thinks to mack the (cock-peanas) biger)

Well. Boys, here’s the deal. Throughout history, men have obsessed with the size of their cocks. And when there’s that much attention paid to something that trivial, you can be sure there’s gonna be an entire industry poised to bilk the shit out of the willie worrisome, like you guys.

All of this unfortunate big-dick envy creates a never-ending parade of con artists tryin’ to sell a remedy, of one sort or another, to cure guys, just like you, of their “shame”. But, take it from Dr. Dick, the dick doctor; it’s all bullshit. And some of the bullshit is really scary and dangerous bullshit.

monsterpumped.jpgFor every little peanut out there, there is some kooky diet, ridiculous cream, bogus massage technique or worthless breathing exercise that is supposed to transform one’s mini-meat into the giant economy size. And let’s not forget the weights you can hang on your thang, the Vacuum device to pump up your thang. And of course the twenty-first century solution — cosmetic surgery — to put a happy face on your thang. The results are dubious if there are any results at all. And each has negative side effects, some of which are more revolting than others.

Here’s the last word on this — don’t waste your money on any of this crap. Or better yet, send me the money, and I’ll put it to good use. Here’s the very best advice I can offer a guy who is unhappy about the size of his schlong…learn to love what ya got and leave it alone.

Good luck

Name: spungee
Gender:
Age: 36
Location: canada’s capital (you figure it out)
hey. i am a big time anal fan, both giving and receiving. spouse and i have enjoyed anal for some years now, both me giving to her and me gettin pegged. my concern is that while she was really into it at first, she seems to have cooled down a bit recently when it comes to nailing me. any thoughts on how to warm things up again? cheers, spungee

b758.jpgI know what the capitol of Canada is, it’s Ottawa. I went to collage, ya know. I was gonna vist Ottawa, but then I heard it’s filled with Canadians.

Why did things fall off, so to speak? Is the pegging all about you? What’s in it for her? If you get pegged, what does she get? Maybe she’s just bored. Maybe she thinks you’re being selfish. Have you checked in with her lately? Maybe she wants to see you get nailed by the real thing. Ever consider replacing the dildo with 100% prime Canadian Beef?

Good luck

Name: Carlos
Gender:
Age: 24
Location: Colombia
does coffee have a negative effect on one’s erection? Does anyone know if this is true and why this would be?

Never heard of such a thing! Since Seattle is coffee central here in the good old US of A, I’m sure I would have heard of this, or seen some evidence of this here. I have not! Everyone here in Seattle has a huge stiff erection…all the time

Come to think of it, if you poured hot coffee on your unit that would have a negative effect your stiffy. That’s for damn sure!

Good luck

Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager

REVIEW #1

Allow me to introduce you to a handy little vibrating plug that’ll surely put a smile on your face, Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager (C554). This unisex toy will jazz up whatever spot you got — G-Spot or P-Spot. Since I’m a proud owner of a P-Spot (prostate), I’ll do my testifyin’ from that particular pew. I’ll let all you G-Spot owners come to your own conclusions.c554.jpgThis here Pandora massager is the perfect utensil for the novice ass raider. Not overly familiar with things pokin’ you in the be-hind? Not to worry, this smooth ergonomic slim-jim will enter with ease. Guys who are used to having big toys in their rosebud will probably be unimpressed with this beginner’s model, but the rest of us will appreciate its modest size.

Anyhow, Pandora has everything you’d expect in a plug. Plus it has this swell hooked end that is designed to hit the spot, if ya catch my drift. And there’s a bonus; it vibrates too. Not all butt plugs do, ya know. There are seven, count them, seven different speeds and pulsations, which makes that little soft hooked end thingy do a happy dance on your P-Spot (or G-Spot). And boy if that don’t make you see the light, nothin’ will.

There is nothing overpowering about this little bugger. Its vibration/pulsation is sweet and gentle, just the thing for the anal-lovin’ trainee. I encourage you to take your time getting to know all the different speeds and pulsations. I found that if I allowed the Zen like vibrations to build as I moved through the different sensations, rather than just throwin’ it into high gear from the get go, there was more joy to be had. Vibration control is found at the base of the unit.

Full review HERE

TOYS 4 TARTS

Once again, I have the pleasure of introducing all you perverts and wannabes to some very interesting playthings. Thanks to my inquisitive correspondents and Dr Dick’s Stockroom I’m able to bring you another installment of my ever so popular, Sex Toy Awareness feature.

Dr Dick, my new BF is an insatiable bottom. HELP, my dick is about to fall off from over use. I want to keep the fella happy, but I need a break. Our 6-month anniversary is coming up and I want to get him a little something to celebrate. I need something to feed his hungry hole. What do you suggest?
— Exhausted!

b038.jpg
I feel your pain. While it’s great to have a man primed and ready for a pounding 24/7, it’s generally too much work for just one human to handle. I mean, when will you find that time to do your nails?

I suggest you get some help. No, you don’t have to share your guy with another top. You need to get yourself a mechanism. And I have just the one for you. Check out the Remote Control Anal Plug (B038). This marvel of modern adult toy engineering offers the promise of hands-free anal stimulation. This anal plug has a stimulator is located in its base and is powered by two AAA batteries (included). It produces a very pleasant vibration with surprisingly little noise.

The remote (with an on/off switch) is a convenient size, just barely larger than a matchbox. It can easily be hidden in a pocket or purse. Testing shows this device to have a range of 30-40 feet. Just pop this puppy in his eager hole and you’ll be able to pleasure him at a distance. Do the crossword, bake a quiche or shop Homo Depot and still keep a smile on his face. No top should be without one!

Good luck

Hey Doc! I finally found my G-spot and damn if I’m not one satisfied chick. The big-O has never been more amazing. But wait, there’s a rub! I sometimes get a cramp while fingering myself for so long. I have a selection of vibrators that I like very much, but not one of them hits the spot. What’s a girl to do?
— Fingers Too Short

c057.jpgIf it’s not one thing, it’s another! I knew this woman once that worked so hard gettin’ herself off that she’d collapse afterward. It was pert-near time to notify the next of kin, don’t ‘cha know.

Darlin’, jillin’-off needn’t be such a chore. Check out the Rock Chick (C057). It’s designed to be used with a rocking motion as opposed to the thrusting associated with most other vibrators. The clever U-shape design will hit the spot. The narrow part inserts into the vagina, while the wider part rests on the clitoris. The Vibrating bullet is located in the tip of the wider end to stimulate the clitoris.

A gentle one-handed rocking motion is all you need to apply. Not only does it offer a one-handed movement but it can also provide “Hands Free Orgasms”. Once positioned, sit up on the edge of the bed or a chair and gently rock back and forth, leaving your hands free. HeeHaw, Gitty Up!

You can also heat up your Rock-Chick with hot tap water (1-2 minutes) for comforting warmth or cool it down in the freezer for an icy chill.

You can’t beat this with a stick!

Good Luck

Doctor Dick, A couple of weeks ago, you did a podcast about spanking. Thanks, I loved it. What about something for us beginner floggers/flogees? My sub GF wants me to get rid of the unraveled cotton cord we’ve been using and get something more professional. She wants it to look and feel more threatening. Ideas?
— Done With Cotton

j295.jpgI’m working on that flogging tutorial even as we speak. So hold your horses, already why don’t ‘cha? In the meantime, you betcha I got some ideas on what would be a good replacement for what you currently got goin’ on. (You get high marks for creatively — making do with the unraveled cord thingy. But jeez, Louise, a cotton whip? WTF? You trying gonna give us all a bad name?)

There’s nothing like the look, smell and feel of leather for titillating the flesh of your bitch sub. You’ll both love how leather will sweeten things up and make you feel like pros. Why not check out this little number for starters. The Flogger Whip, Suede, 12″(J295).

It has 32 strands (or “blades”) that are 1⁄4” wide, 12” long, and come to a nice point at the tips. The 51⁄2” handle is fitted with an 8” leather wrist loop for hanging the implement. You do want to make a fashion statement, don’t you?

Don’t think just because it’s small it can’t deliver. It does and you will. I see welts in your future.

Good luck

Doc, when you did your podcast about bondage last week you only talked robe bondage. What’s up with that? I use leather restraints in my dungeon. Care to comment?
— hide in hand

j127.jpgWell, smell you with your fancy-schmancy leather appointed dungeon! You must be the snootiest dom on the block.

Actually, I do care to comment. Technically, bondage is the generic rubric, under which restraints fall as a subcategory. And leather is just one of the materials used in restraints, albeit a very popular one.

So just for you, my precious, I have these little numbers. Check out the Extra Wide Ankle Cuffs (J127).

These cuffs are similar in design to the basic locking cuffs only more “heavy-duty.” They are wider and made of heavier leather, with a larger hasp. Perfectly suited to the really uppity sub, who doesn’t yet know his/her place

Cut from extra-thick, black, latigo leather, each cuff is 31⁄4″ wide and will fit ankles approximately 6″ to 101⁄2″ around. These cuffs are comfortable and extremely secure. No leather-appointed dungeon should be without!

Good luck

Dick, I got really sensitive nipples they’re hotwired to b174.jpgright to my dick. I saw this guy at the bar last week and he had nipples the size of my fingertip. They were crazybig and shit. Is that like natural, or are his nips on steroids?
Big Nips 4 Me

Dude, like you need to totally pull your head out of your ass and wake up to how the big boys (and girls) get them freaky sized nipples. Check out the Universal Nipple Enlarger Kit (B174). This multi purpose nipple play item offers a lower cost alternative to many higher-end suction devices.

This hand-dandy kit comes with four different ring sizes and two different pump applicators, allowing for a perfect fit for most people, and a full range of sensations. A larger ring will provide a light sensation and keep your nipples comfortably erect. Use a smaller size for more sensation and/or “bite,” as well as a greater enlarging effect.

Directions:
1. Slide the chosen ring onto the tip of the pump.
2. Squeeze the bulb and attach to the nipple, wait for the desired attainment of swelling.
3. Slide the ring onto the nipple and remove the pump.

Try one of these babies on for size. Then send me photos of your freaks.

Good luck

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #16 — 06/04/07

Hey sex fans,

I have a great show for you today. Interesting questions from the sexually worrisome and an equal number of my amusing, entertaining and informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • Tammy takes her love to town.
  • Cade loses a leg in Iraq. Now a hot devotee wants his stump!
  • Beth, a confirmed dyke, suddenly discovers she digs cock too.
  • Perth Guy is about to lose his colon. Is this the end of anal sex?
  • Anoras still has a problem with is nuts.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the health section under the subheading — Sexuality. Or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Say, would you like to become a sponsor for one or more of my weekly sex advice podcasts? As you know, I plug a product or service at the beginning and end of each show. Each podcast has its own posting on my site along with the name of the podcast sponsor and a banner for the product or service.

The beauty part about this unique opportunity is that once a sponsor’s ad is included in a particular podcast that sponsor is embedded there forever.

Your sponsorship also underscores your social conscience. Your marketing dollars will not only got to promote your product, but you will be doing so while helping to disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages. Simply put, ya just can’t get a better bang for your advertising buck!

For further information, contact me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

Today’s podcast is once again bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

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