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The Last Day of April Q&A Show — Podcast #330 — 04/30/12


Hey sex fans,

I have a delectable Q&A show in store for you today to close out the month of April. We will be hearing a bunch of very interesting questions from the sexually worrisome, each will surely amaze and entertain. There’s a distinct religious overtone to some of these questions and there’s also more than a hint of desperation. Oh how I feel their pain.

  • Brian calls in while he’s jerkin’ off.
  • Nick calls in to tell us about his massive ass toys.
  • Richie is troubled by what the Church told him about being gay.
  • Lyn has been around the block a time or ten, her new BF is a virgin.
  • Hamlet is so stressed out he can’t keep his hardon.
  • Éric is wasting his money trying to grow himself a bigger dick. I suggest that he take a look at this POSTING.
  • Dan isn’t even through puberty yet and he’s worried about the size of his willie. I suggest he take a look at this VIDEO.

 

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Wood you, could you

Hey sex fans,

We have another swell edition of Product Review Friday comin’ at ya. So yay for that!

Ya know what we’ve been missing? Wood! That’s what we’ve been missing.

One of our most favorite sex toy materials in the whole wide world is wood and we haven’t had any wooden products to review since late 2008. This simply won’t do. (See our earlier reviews HERE!)

To remedy this I reached out to our new friends, the artisans at The Wood Wang Workshop. First, kudos to them for their very clever name. Second, wait till you get a load of their amazing products. We have two of their toys on tap for today and another one will appear in a couple of weeks

Their website touts their philosophy: “For the ultimate organic orgasm.” And so it is. You simply can’t get any GREENER than wood, sex fans.

But let’s not take my word for it. Let’s check in with the Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin, to see what’s on their mind

Amy — £30.00

Chunky Rectangular Paddle — £25.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We starting off 2012 with a bang. Actually, it was more like a whack than a bang, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Right now I just want to say I am a total wood convert.”
Kevin: “Ditto! Thanks to the amazing craftsmen at The Wood Wang Workshop I probably have the happiest ass in town — filled up and roughed up at the same time.”
Gina: “The Amy (an adorable butt plug) and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are our first foray into the world of wooden toys. And all I can say is; what took us so long to discover the ultimate in GREEN sex toys? They’re both hand crafted and like all handmade things they are one of a kind. No one else has exactly the same toys as us. In this age of mass produced toys, the realization that we have something unique is refreshing.”
Kevin: “I really got off on knowing that these beauties were made by British perverts. I don’t know why that thrills me so, but it does. The Amy and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are just two of the beautiful kinky toys one will find on The Wood Wang Workshop. And, for the most part, you can choose to have your toy sculpted from any one of a variety of unusual and exotic woods, each with a different color and grain. All of the woods they use are forested from sustainable sources making their products environmentally friendly. You’d have a very difficult time indeed trying to find a more socially responsible sex toy company anywhere.”
Gina: “That’s true enough! But let’s not forget the pleasure these GREEN toys deliver. Our Amy is made from a wood I had never heard of before, Goncalo Alves. It’s so pretty and petite. It’s only about 3” long and about an inch and a half wide at its widest. I’d call Amy a beginner’s size plug. Kevin has several butt plugs, some of them are much larger than this one, but he says the Amy is oh so comfortable he can wear it for hours on end.”
Kevin: “Absolutely! I love me some butt plugs. You know the difference between a plug and any other type of insertable, right? If not, let me quickly clue you in. A butt plug is shorter and has a unique shape. The insertable part is often a tapered cone shape, designed for easy insertion and that delicious filled-up feeling while it’s in place. The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum. Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?”
Gina: “While Kevin quickly snapped up the Amy, I latched on to the very handsome Chunky Rectangular Paddle. Ours is made of cherry wood. Once I felt its heft, about 6oz, and fingered the braded rawhide wrist thong I knew I’d be able to punish Kevin’s ass in style. The two holes in the paddle leave very distinctive marks on his beautiful bottom.”
Kevin: “Oh yeah! It hurts real good. Like I said; there’s nothing better than having my ass filled up and roughed up at the same time.”
Gina: “I love liberating my inner dominatrix. I’ve come so very far from my innocent Catholic schoolgirl upbringing it sometimes surprises me. Kevin corrupted me and I’m ever so grateful.”
Kevin: “It is a real trip seeing Gina come into her own sexually and in power play. However, as much as I would like to take credit for corrupting her, the truth is she was ripe for picking, even when we first met. She’s taken to kink like she was raised that way.”
Gina: “Ok, I confess; I really get off on this. There was never any coercion involved. Kevin simply had to suggest a little perversion and I was totally up for it. Maybe it’s true what they say; kinksters are born not made.”
Kevin: “The Amy and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are easy to care for. In fact, The Wood Wang Workshop artisans thoughtfully include a card with care instructions. Oh, and the Amy comes in a black satin drawstring pouch to keep it clean and safe between uses.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

If it’s not one thing, it’s another…

Name: Malcolm
Gender: Male
Age: 40
Location: Johannesburg
I’m in love with this guy who is as sweet as the day is long. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. What makes him so charming is he’s only recently come out as gay. Before this he was married. He is not jaded like so many other guys I meet. But there’s a problem. He’s real vanilla. I guess that’s the down side of coming out of a heterosexual marriage at the age of 35. He’s happy as a clam fucking me a couple times a week. He thinks anal sex is really adventurous and sexually daring. I on the other hand, am suffocating in the boredom. I know, now I sound really jaded, but I can’t help it. It’s just that there’s so much more to sex than what we are doing. I want to introduce him to some kinky shit, but I’m afraid that I will scare him off. What the fuck should I do?

I absolutely adore messages that start out: “I’m so in love. He/she is everything I ever wanted, blah, blah, blah!” Because I know that only a few words later the other shoe is gonna drop, and drop hard. “But there’s a problem, blah, blah, blah!”

Of course there’s a problem. There is always a problem…even with Mr. or Ms. Perfect, or maybe because your honey is so freakin perfect. Take it from me, sexual dissatisfaction will upset even the most tranquil and rosy apple cart and send everyone into a tizzy. Allow me to share with you something I wrote about this very issue about ten years ago. I think you will find the advice as fresh as the day it was written.

So you’ve met the person of your dreams only you haven’t got around to telling your new honey your dirty little secret. The sweet thing hasn’t a clue that you’re itchin’ for some big time bondage. Or that you’d sell your soul to be dominated like the scum that you are. Or you’re salivating over that dildo you have tucked away in the attic, the one that could be mistaken for a floor lamp. Or you’re craving to be spanked till your shameless ass glows in the dark. Or you want to hump his/her feet like a dog and gobble up his/her toe jam. Or you have this nasty little thing about spike heels, frilly knickers and jungle red lipstick.

Never fear, Dr. Dick has heard it all a million times before. Some sorry pervert’s got it bad for white bread. Dear Dr. Dick, Help! I’m in love with the sweetest guy/gal in the word, but our sex life is all vanilla all the time. I’m bored shitless! I know how to liven things up, you see I have this fetish (you fill in the blank) but I don’t know how to tell him/her about it and I’m afraid s/he’ll freak if s/he finds out. What’s a perv to do?

Introducing your partner to your personal world of kink is tricky; the whole little love match could blow up in your face. But a life of pretense and sexual boredom isn’t the way to go either. Why not just stand tall like the disgusting depraved creature you are and brazenly proclaim your fetish to little Mary Sunshine. After all, unless your boyfriend or gal-pal is as dumb as a post s/he’s already figured out that your mutual sex life limps. Besides, there’s nothing more satisfying than corrupting an innocent. Who knows, s/he may have secrets of his/her own.

Here’s what I suggest. Casually direct the conversation to the amazing variety of human sexual expression. You could reassure your sweetie that just because some things are unfamiliar don’t make them bad. Tell him/her that you’ve been waiting for your relationship to mature so that you could share the intricacies of your desires with him/her. This can be one of those precious bonding moments that Oprah’s always talkin’ about. This might be a good time to view that special video you picked up in the kink section of the local porn emporium. Invite her/him to explore your fantasy with you. Tell the little flower that your love for him/her demands that you share the fullness of your sexuality with her/him. Then pick one turn-on for the two of you to experiment with — lingerie, toys, dominance and submission, role-playing, whatever.

Decide on a safe-word, an out of context word your partner could use if the experiment is heading in an uncomfortable direction. For example, if the dildo is too big or the lipstick is too red, s/he could say “pickles.” The safe-word, when uttered in the scenario, will let you know that you need to change direction or slow down without completely destroying the built up sexual energy.

If this initiation process doesn’t work Dr. Dick suggests that you cut your losses and dump the white bread. Go out and find yourself a kindred spirit, someone you won’t have to apologize to for being creative in your sex play.

Good luck

Lost and Found

Hey sex fans,

We bring you our third and final Romance Series video from New Sensations for today’s edition of Product Review Friday.

But wait, you didn’t miss the two previous reviews we posted, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find them HERE and HERE.  And remember all our adult product reviews, going back 5 years, are archived at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Glenn & Hank, to see what’s on their mind.

Lost and Found —— $18.81

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “I have a little secret. I have a guilty pleasure. I really get off on straight porn. Well some of it anyhow.”
Hank: “He has to keep it a secret, because, if the homo police find out, they’ll take away his homo card.”
Glenn: “You joke, but you know there’s truth in what I say, Hank. Most of our queer friends would never understand my taste for straight porn.”
Hank: “Hey, I don’t know; I’d be wiling to bet that way more gay men dig straight porn then those, like you, who are willing to admit to their guilty pleasure. Nowadays the men in straight porn are way hotter than they used to be. Maybe that’s because a lot of the ‘straight’ male performers are also working as ‘gay-for-pay’ performers in gay porn. So you know for certain that is raising the hunkyness-bar all over the industry.”
Glenn: “On a recent visit to Dr Dick’s I noticed a pile of DVDs on his desk. I asked him; ‘what’s up with all the movies?’ He said, ‘I got them from New Sensations to farm out for review.’ I said, ‘I’d be up for that assignment.’ He said, ‘really? That would be way cool; you know it’s straight porn, right? Then Dr Dick added, ‘I suppose if these movies can pass the gay test, we’ll all know that they are good to go.’ And so that’s how I got Lost and Found to review. Score!”
Hank: “When Glenn is happy, I’m happy. Besides, anything that gets him boned up will eventually lead to me gettin’ a world-class blowjob or me pluggin’ his tight muscular ass. And I almost never argue with that math.”
Glenn: “Ok, I admit, I’m a sex fiend; so sue me already! Lost and Found is the story of a bachelor, David, (Xander Corvus, who is hot, hot, hot!), who wants to jettison the swinger ways and settle down. Imagine his good fortune when the gal of his dreams, Jen (Allie Haze, who is so adorable!) moves in next door with her little dog. This is a sweet romance about a man, a woman and the little dog that brought them together by nearly tearing them apart. Fuckin’ charming, huh?”
Hank: “It is very charming, but it’s sexy as hell too. I walked in on Glenn watching the DVD and thought he was watching some Hollywood romcom. I was just about to turn heal and run when this chick starts blowin’ this dude. And damn, she sure looked like she knew what she was doin’. Most of the women I see in straight porn aren’t very good cocksuckers. They look at the dick in their hand and you can see it in their face, they’d much rather be in Cleveland.”
Glenn: “Hank says that a lot of the guys in gay porn don’t know how to suck dick either. He’s right! It’s pathetic, I tell you. Cocksucking is a lost art. I also want to comment on something else Hank said. The production values of Lost and Found are first class. Everything from the box art to the movie’s audio track is topnotch. It could have easily come from one of the major Hollywood studios…except it has all this really hot girl on guy sex. And here’s the real kicker; all the dudes wear condoms in this flick. Fuckin’ A! I wish more straight porn producers did that.”
Hank: “You can also tell that this movie has its female audience in mind. I don’t mean to suggest that they soft sell the sex; they don’t. But it is respectful of women. Call me old fashioned; but I hate it when I see a woman being degraded in a porno. It’s such a turn off. No wonder most women aren’t into video smut. BTW, Xander Corvus is super fine! He has a sweet face, a nice body, a big old dick, but he shaves his pubes. I guess three out of four ain’t too shabby!”
Glenn: “Lost and Found has four really great sex scenes. All the characters are very attractive and likeable, but they’re also still believable. There’s not a porn stereotype in the bunch. The sex is vanilla, but there’s real chemistry between the performers. There’s loads and loads of kissing too. And the non-sex acting is amazingly good.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Almost Heaven

Hey sex fans,

I know; let’s make this Friday a Product Review Friday!

Ya’ll have probably noticed that everyone on the Dr Dick Review Crew has taken a break from reviewing. The truth of the matter is we all seemed to hit our saturation point at once. I guess we all experienced a little burn out.

I know, some of you must be thinking, gee, I should have such a problem; burning out on sex toys. Let me tell ya; no one who has actually had to honestly review sex toys would make that comment. Because, despite the fun aspects of reviewing them the review process itself can, and often is, grueling.

So just about the time we were about to throw in the towel, we were approached by a new partner in our review effort, the good people who are responsible for The Romance Series videos.

As you know, we’ve reviewed educational videos in the past; so it wasn’t much of a leap to include these excellent enrichment videos.

To explain what I’m talking about we have Dr Dick Review Crew member Jada to tell you all about the DVD she viewed.

Almost Heaven  ——  $29.95

Jada
My husband is a porn aficionado. He’s been watching porn since he was a teenager. Frankly, I can’t see how he can stomach the mind-numbing sameness of it all. For the most part, every thing I’ve tried to watch with him has been a disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong; I love sex. I love stories about sex; I have a fantastic erotica library. I love depictions of sex; I thoroughly enjoy Dr Dick’s The Erotic Mind podcasts and their accompanying slideshows of the artwork of his guest. But, for the most part, I do not like porn. I want to like porn; it’s just that I rarely see anything I can like.

I’ll admit it; I need a bit of a story line to get into the sex. I want the characters to be believable and I want the women in the movies to be more than one dimensional sex dolls. I don’t know, is that too much to ask for?

When Dr Dick asked me if I would consider reviewing one of The Romance Series titles, I hesitated. I wanted to do it, because it would be something my husband and I could do together, but I didn’t want to waste my time or his. I finally agreed and I stopped my Dr Dick’s and picked up Almost Heaven.

I was pleasantly surprised to find the DVD housed in a very tasteful, yet erotic package. The DVD comes in a traditional plastic package, but this is sheathed in a cardboard carton that give is a much warmer presentation. The promotional imagery on the box is suggestive, but not overt. It’s obvious that this presentation is geared to a female audience.

When I got home I tantalizing waved the package in my husband’s face. I said, “Look what I scored.” His eyes rolled up in his head and dismissed my find with a wave of his hand. I was crestfallen. He didn’t mean to be mean; he just thinks porn for women means toning down the sex till it’s soft-core pabulum.

I asked him to put aside his prejudice and watch it with me. He said he would.

Our date night arrived, we got comfortable in bed and I slipped the Almost Heaven DVD in the player. I hoped for the best.

Almost immediately my husband commented on the production values. The audio track was clear and balanced, and he didn’t notice any background noise. Apparently this is a big bugaboo for pornophiles, like my husband. I was just happy that a bunch of fake boobs weren’t jumping out at me from the screen.

It was easy for me to slip into the storyline. A pretty young woman, Angie, is told that she died the night before and is able to take only one memory with her into the afterlife. She chooses to remember her husband, Jake. But what memory of Jake should she choose? Another couple, Sara and Michael, helps Angie make the right choice. It’s a sweet concept. In fact, it was like watching a mainstream movie, but getting to see all the sex, which would only implied in a Hollywood version.

There are four scenes in the movie. The music, lighting and camerawork are all topnotch. Each scene is a sexual vignette featuring a different couple, but all the scenes follow the story arc. And ya know what I liked most? Condoms were used throughout. Kudos to The Romance Series people for being considerate to their performers and respectful to their audience. Thank you!

I was totally impressed with how the sex was presented. Despite the romantic overlay, this is a full-on sex movie, mind you — oral, cowgirl, spooning, doggie, missionary, all very tastefully presented. The chemistry between the couples is palpable, there is lots of kissing and the sex is hot. I couldn’t have asked for more. And I caught my husband adjusting his boner under the covers more than once.

My husband said Almost Heaven is not a porn movie for women, whatever that is; but it’s a really great porn movie for couples.  High praise coming from him.

If you’re looking for a bit of romance and plot with your sex, this title is bound to please. It was just the thing to get our motors running for the sex we had after the movie. It was the perfect date night!
Full Review HERE!

Enjoy

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