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Hey Sex Fans!

We came dangerously close to having a fantastic Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast for ya today.  Unfortunately, my scheduled guest had technical difficulties and we had to put off the interview till next week.  Such is life!

In lieu of a podcast, we have some swell Q&A.

Name: Brian
Age: 40
Location: Canada
After a guy ejaculates can he have another ejaculation? Like after I cum if I put on a cock ring will it stay hard enough to continue with intercourse and achieve another orgasm? I basically want to cum twice in a row.

Yep, that’s doable.  All depends on your particular refractory period and how turned on you are.  Let’s take a quick look at the male sexual response cycle again, just so we understand what we’re talkin’ about.  Ok?

The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physiological changes that occur as we become sexually aroused and move through to afterglow. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Both women and men experience these phases of course, although the timing usually is very different for each gender.  In addition, the intensity of the response and the time spent in each phase will vary from person to person and from situation to situation. That’s why I say cuming twice in a row is doable.  But is it gonna happen for you?  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, huh?

Ok, Phase 1: Excitement (or the boner stage)

  1. Muscle tension increases.
  2. Heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates.
  3. Our skin may become flushed particularly on our chest and back).
  4. Our nipples may become erect.
  5. Blood flow to the genitals increases, thus the boner.
  6. Our balls swell, our sack tightens, and we may drip precum.  Mmmm, precum!

Phase 2: Plateau (or the strokin’ or pumpin’ stage)

  1. Everything in phase 1 intensifies.
  2. Our balls may pull up into body cavity.
  3. Our breathing, heart rate and blood pressure increase.
  4. Our toes curl, face contorts and hands clench.

Phase 3: Orgasm (or the “yabba dabba doo” stage)

  1. Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
  2. Blood pressure, heart rate and breathing excelerate.
  3. There’s a rapid intake of oxygen.
  4. Muscles in the feet spasm.
  5. There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
  6. Rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of our cock result in the ejaculation of spunk.
  7. A “sex flush” may appear all over our body.

Phase 4: Resolution (or the “I need a nappy” stage)

  1. During this phase, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and the parts of your body that swelled and engorged return to their previous size and color.
  2. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often, fatigue.
  3. Most women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms.

Men, on the other hand need recovery time after orgasm, this period is called the refractory period.  This doesn’t have to be the end of sex.  Like you suggest, a cockring may prevent your dick from going soft.  But don’t count on an immediate second ejaculation, even if your dick stays hard. Don’t forget, the duration of the refractory period varies and is situational.  It will also increase as we age.

Name: Ivan
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Location: Spain
I am considering the social usage of Viagra or Cialis to improve sexual performance. Which of the two would you recommend for recreational usage?

I don’t recommend recreational use of prescription drugs, particularly these vascular dilators.  And certainly not when used in conjunction with other non-prescription drugs.  Maybe you ought consider a low-tech solution like a cockring instead.

I hasten to add that I’m not averse to using some drugs recreationally.  But I think that we’d do well to stick to those that are more natural.  The less processing involved and fewer added chemicals the better, in my humble opinion.

Did you know that health officials in the UK and here in the US are investigating reports of blindness among men using Viagra and Cialis?  Why risk that if ya don’t have to.

I’m really concerned with the alarming rise in recreational use of these drugs by younger men, men in their 20’s and 30’s.  And like I said, this is even more troubling when they combine these drugs with ecstasy, cocaine, or crystal meth.  If your young body is having difficulty producing an erection at this tender age, then you need medical attention ASAP.

Besides the risk of blindness, there are several other reasons why you ought not abuse Viagra or a similar drug just so you can have wood that lasts for hours.  Your body will habituate itself to the substance and, in time, you won’t be able to get it up at all without ever increasing doses of these drugs.  This will surely fuck up your cardiovascular system big time.  In fact, you may very well be inducing the very sexual dysfunction the drug is supposed to help.

Consider the person who overuses eye drops or lip balm or any other otherwise innocuous over the counter health and beauty products.  Their bodies stop making the natural substances that these products are intended to assist.  It’s counterproductive and it’s ill advised.  And if this is a problem with relatively harmless over the counter products, you know you are playing with fire when you abuse powerful prescription meds.

Name: Yuri
Gender: male
Age: 20
Location: Russia
I want to make love kisses on my girlfriend’s vagina.  But I never did this.  What can I do?

Love kisses on her vagina, huh? You Russians are so romantique!

I think you are talkin about some good old fashioned cunnilingus, right?  Or as we say here in the US or A — eatin’ out at the Y, munchin’ carpet, muff divin’, pussy lappin’ and what have you.

If your girlfriend is as unfamiliar with gettin’ love kisses on her vagina as you are at givin’ them, you might want to give her a head’s up on what you plan to do.  Ya see some of our women folk are none too keen on the idea.  They have it in their head that their pussy is icky and not for oral consumption.  This is very unfortunate, but it is what it is.  If you think you’re gonna get a lot of resistance from your lady friend, you might start kissing her on the face and neck, then to the tops of her tits, her nipples, and her belly.  This will give her an idea where you’re headin’.  If you’re doin’ this right, hopefully she’ll be so busy enjoying herself she’ll not protest your trip south.

Proceed slowly. Make sure you’re you’re both comfortable. If you’re lying down, you best be on your stomach between her legs so that your string of kisses is as effortless as possible. Have a pillow ready to shove under her hips to raise her a bit if she’s willing to proceed.  If, by the time you get to her pussy, she doesn’t try to stop you, you’re home free.  Basically she is giving you tacit permission to proceed.  Of course you could check in with her and ask if you can continue.  But sometimes, in delicate situations like this, you may be better off keeping the conversation to a minimum.  She might be fine with it if she doesn’t actually have to agree to it.  Women are like that sometimes.

Try scooting her butt to the side of the bed while you kneel on the floor between her legs. This will give you all the access you’ll need.  And hey, don’t go divin’ right in there, for heaven’s sakes.  Take a moment to two to admire the beautiful spectacle before you.  Lordy, lordy ain’t that a sight for sore eyes.

Gently nuzzle, kiss, and lick her inner thighs and the area around her vulva.  With a little luck your gal-pal will be so aroused she’ll begin to guide your head into her snatch.  Lick her outer lips. Run your tongue up and down them. Nibble them gently with your lips. Next, work your tongue in between the outer lips to caress her smaller, thinner inner lips.  Circle her vaginal opening and perhaps dart your tongue inside her cunt.

I hope you know your way around a woman’s genitals, because If you don’t you’ll be bumbling around down there to no great effect.  And, while you may get an “A” for effort, you might very well wreck the moment by being too aggressive on her more sensitive parts.  Her clit is her magic button.  If you don’t know a clit from a hole in your head, do some research before you head south.

Approach her clit very slowly and gently.  Some women enjoy a tongue lashing directly on her clit. Others find direct contact too intense, even uncomfortable. Now is a good time to check in with her.  Ask for direction on how she wants you to proceed.  She may prefer you to circle her clit with your tongue, avoiding direct contact.

If your gal is unfamiliar with this kind of pleasure, she may not  kow to direct you.  If that’s the case, you’re gonna have to ask direct questions like:  Do you want it lighter? Or would you like more pressure? More of this?  Not so much of that?  Soon you will be able to tell on your own by observing her pelvic movements and listening to her moan if you’re doing a good job.  Sometimes the best communication is non-verbal.

While you’re down there, why not employ a couple fingers to spread things apart?  Add a little massage.  Use the tip of your tongue, then the flat of your tongue, then your lips as you move around her vulva.  All three feel a little different and each provide subtly different sensations.  Some chicks love pussy raspberries, you know…

Come up for air from time to time.  Look into here eyes, caress and massage her boobs.  Try slipping a finger or two into her mouth so she can suck them while you’re licking her. Or move into a 69 position and enjoy a little blowjob with you’re eating her out.

You may want to incorporate some ass play too.  Insert a lubed finger into her butt hole.  Just make sure that whatever goes in her ass doesn’t then come in contact with her cunt.  You definitely don’t want to introduce bacteria that can cause a urinary infection.

Good luck ya’ll

Moveable Feast

Hey sex fans,

Here we are at Week 2 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.  And we have two outstanding items for you.  One will, no doubt, be familiar to you.  The other is an outstanding example of erotic art.

The Dr Dick Review Crew Members: Kevin & Gina and Jack & Karen are here with the lowdown.

First, an old favorite from Vibratex.

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $47.50

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the others history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic WandZA919 before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”

Next we have exquisite insertable erotic art from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the second product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  Look for the  Smooth Glider review.

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaftx351 are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”


Take A Deep Breath

Name: Jake
Age: 18
Location: London
I have never had sex mostly because I have never managed to approach the person. I am bisexual and am desperate to have sex with a guy or girl. What are the best ways to approach someone for sex?

Can’t manage to approach a person for sex?  Are you just really shy, or are you a total geek?  Either way, my friend, you gotta get over yourself if you ever hope to get laid.  And here’s a tip:  perspective partners can smell desperation, like the kind you speak of, a mile away.  And they will avoid you like the plague.

Ok, so you’re just 18 without a lot of experience in the ways of the world.  teen_sexuality.jpgHere’s what I tell everyone who asks me this question, regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation.  When it comes to asking for sex; the direct approach works best.  Just so long as you’re not a dick about it.  If you haven’t already discovered this, baggin a bird will probably take a bit more finesse than pokin’ on a bloke.  And coming on to a mate demands a different approach than hittin’ up a stranger for a shag.

If there’s a bit of charm about you, your task will be considerably easier than if you are a crude Neanderthal who just wants to notch his belt.  If you’re not sure what your selling points are, ask a friend for his or her feedback.  If he or she tells you nice things bout yourself, you might be in luck.  If he or she tells you that you’re a charmless creep, you’ll have your work cut out for you.

Regardless what group you fall into — the “maybe fuckable”, or the “not fucking ever”, you can always improve your image and hone your unique style.  Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free.  Dress to impress.  Stay clear of fancy or fussy, but do make it look like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself.  Make yourself interesting; have a point of view, but share it sparingly.  Develop a sense of humor about yourself.  If you can’t be clever or witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part.

boys_kissing05.jpgThe internet is a great place to test the waters.  Dating and hook-up sites abound.  Put up a profile…with a photo or two.  Here’s a tip, save the dick pics for the queer sites.  Women don’t want to see your pathetic willie, at least not right away.  And like I said above, there’s nothing more unattractive to most women, or men, than a desperate fuck.  Asking for what you want is good, pleading to be taken out of pity is not!

Few women are as casual about sex as are most men.  So if a woman tells you no, she just may be shy, or not ready, or not sure.  If a guy tell you no, it’s not the end of the world.  He’s probably not into your type.  Since there are so many fish in the sea, if you’re not immediately successful, move on.  Sometimes getting laid is a situational thing.  Being in the right place at the right time is helpful.

Chicks are gonna be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a woman then for a dude. If you’re not well versed on all methods of contraception and willing to practice at least one, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both.  Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom regardless of your partner’s gender.


If you’re dick is hard, it’s not the right time to talk about sex with a woman, but it might be the best time to hit up a dude.  Women don’t necessarily like the lean and hungry look.  Men tend to groove on it.

There are lots of different ways to have sex, so what might be appealing to one person may not be to another.  Hand jobs and/or blow jobs are often more easy to cum by than full-on fucking with both birds and blokes.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat a prospective partner, regardless of gender, with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure whatever words you use will be more effective than if you’re an uncouth lout.

Name: Nita
Gender: female
Age: 40
Location: South Africa
I recently had abdominal surgery to remove a cancer.  I’m recovering pretty well, and the prognosis for my future is also pretty good.  But I am noticing two problems. The surgery left a really big scar.  It’s still not fully healed yet, but I can tell it’s always going to be ugly.  And my belly is really misshapen now. I felt pretty okay about my body before hand, but this scar really makes me look really unattractive.  Also, my sex drive has completely gone away. I used to be a pretty sexual person, but now nothing excites me. Would you say this is normal?

How long ago was your surgery, I wonder?  It’s got to be pretty recent, if you say the incision is still healing.

Darlin’, may I suggest that you’ve been through quite a trauma — a cancer diagnosis, recent surgery and all.  This would throw anyone for a loop.  I’d be willing to guess you’ve not had the proper time to process all of this.  It comes as no surprise to me that your libido has gone south.  I wouldn’t expect otherwise.

If you’re still healing on the outside, you know for sure your insides have a much longer way to go.  You’re probably still feeling some discomfort, right?  That’s enough to put the kibosh on sexual interest right there.  You’re body is consumed with the job of healing itself.  It probably hasn’t any energy to spare for sex.  And why have a libido if ya can’t be sexual, right?   So you see, your body is actually protecting itself and concentrating on the task at hand.sensual_massage110.JPG

Maybe at this point in your recovery a little pampering would be better for you than a pursuit of sexual pleasure.  Long luxurious baths will help soothe the tension, as well as giving your easy access to your fine pussy.  Even folks with no discernable libido find touching themselves enjoyable. And just to keep your head in the game, even though you’re sitting on the sidelines, you could read some erotica or watch some sexy smut.

Some modest exercise like walking or swimming can perk up the libido too.  Treat yourself to an erotic massage.  Let a pro get his or her hands on you and make you glow.  This may also help bring back some of the sensitivity to areas effected by the surgery.  One things for sure, doing something is better than doing nothing but sitting there wondering what’s up.

An invasive and disfiguring surgery will always have a profound effect on one’s body image, which goes without saying.  Feeling unattractive because of a scar? No doubt about it, it’s a bummer.  But here you are writing to me about it, instead of napping six-feet under.  So I guess the scar is not the worst thing that could have happened, right?  As you probably know, I’m hearing from a number of my country’s war vets returning home with shattered bodies and lives.  My advice to them is what I offer you now.  Move through the scar’s impact…with a therapist if need be.  And find within yourself the other things that make you beautiful, attractive, alluring and desirable. Who knows, you might luck out and find a scar fetishist out there who will worship you for what you find loathsome.

mastectomy_scars.jpgEmbracing and then moving past your scaring will open you to find the myriad pleasures your body can still provide you and others.  So while your body works on healing itself, your mind can do likewise.  No need to have two scars, on one your belly and another one on your psyche.  In the end you may find that flaunting your scar, like some women do with their mastectomy scars, will liberate you from feeling unattractive.  After all, that scare and misshapen abdomen are your red badges of courage, honey.  Not only do they make you distinct, but also they testify to you being a survivor.

Name: David
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Location: New York, NY
This is a rather disgusting question. I am a gay male who prefers to be the bottom. The trouble is that even if I perform an enema right before sex, I still seem to get some excrement onto my partner’s penis during sex. It just seems that the feeling of the motion back and forth inside of me causes a sensation that makes something come out. The odor is, at times, unpleasant and I, of course, am mortified. I wonder if this is a common problem and if there is anything else I can do to PREVENT this from happening?? Could it perhaps be my diet? Do I need to drink more water?

YIKES!  You sound like a real attractive guy, David.  Just kidding!

If you are douching properly before the butt fucking there shouldn’t be much seepage if any.  Maybe you’re not taking care of business correctly.  Or maybe you need to douche twice.  Or maybe you’re being fucked too hard.  I know that a vigorous fucking will introduce more air into the bottom’s rectum expanding it and making for that “OMG, I gotta take a dump” feeling.butt_fuck5.jpg

I understand you being mortified; a smelly dirty fuck is no fun for anyone.  That being said, you have to realize your bowels are working properly, so it’s not their fault.  Just remember, there will inevitably be some unpleasant side effects when rootin’ around in someone’s hole, regardless how fastidious the bottom is about his hygiene.

I’m not sure I see the connection between diet and hydration and messy fucking, but hell, I’d try just about anything to keep from embarrassing myself when my toes are pointed to jesus!

Name: Ken
Age: 42
Location: Seattle
I recently went to get a massage with a “happy ending” As soon as the girl started to fondle me I came and I did not even have an erection yet.  I never have this problem with my wife or past girlfriends. Why did this happen? It sure cost a lot of money for about five minutes with this “lady”. Thanks

Well, let’s see…either this “masseuse” (and I use that term very loosely) was amazingly talented, or you were just real nervous about doing this naughty thing with someone other than your wife.

Hmmm, I bet it was the later.

Here’s a tip, always get the massage first…before the happy ending.  If the first thing that happens is the happy ending, then you got gypped, darlin’!

Name: Marion
Gender: female
Age: 32
Location: NYC
I’m 34 and single.  After 15 years of unsuccessful dating, searching for the right guy to marry and raise a family with, I decided to go it alone.  I’m 2 months pregnant through artificial insemination.  You’ll love this; the donor is my best gay pal.  I am absolutely delighted and cherish the thought of finally being a mother.  While a lot of the guys I’ve been dating aren’t father material, they are great sex and I don’t want to continue to enjoy their company.  I gather that it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy.  But is there anything I should avoid?  Are there specific sexual positions that better suit a mommy-to-be like me?

Hey, congratulations on the bun in the oven, darlin’.  And how true about some men being great in the sack, but not desirable husband and/or father material.  I know several gay men who have helped out a long-suffering straight and lesbian friends with the whole breeding thing.  Us “mos” are so selfless in that regard.  😉

It’s difficult to find accurate and unambiguous information about sex preg_sex01jpg.jpgduring pregnancy that doesn’t have a decidedly sex-negative bias to it.  For the most part, our culture promotes the message that sex is primarily for procreation.  Why then would any responsible mother to be continue to have sex if she’s already knocked up?  You can see where a lot of the misconceptions, misinformation and scare tactics come from, huh?

So let’s see if we can shed some light on this for ya.  As a pregnancy advances, the fertilized egg grows into an embryo and then into a fetus. The fetus is encased in and protected by the amniotic cavity.  This provides the fetus nourishment and protects it from infections.  A thick layer of mucus seals the cervix further isolating the fetus in the mother’s uterus.

If you’re having a normal pregnancy, as do most women, then there is no reason to alter your sex life during your pregnancy.  Since this is your first, you’ll not know this, but a woman who has a history of premature birth may be advised by her physician to abstain from partnered sex during the last three months of pregnancy.  In the same way, a woman with a history of miscarriage will probably be advised to avoid partnered sex in the first trimester.  Only women with high-risk pregnancies might be advised to avoid sex for the full term of the pregnancy.

Nature provides all protection the fetus needs in its mother’s uterus. So you don’t need to worry about semen or vaginal fluids coming into contact with the baby.  And the mucus seal on your cervix does not allow a penis to come in direct contact with the fetus either.  Which dispels several misconceptions right there, don’t cha know.

In terms of pregnancy related sex, I suspect that your libido will probably play a more determining role in your availability for sex than you capacity to have sex.  Your libido will no doubt fluctuate during your pregnancy, which may have a lot to do with hormonal fluctuations.  Increased blood circulation in your pelvic region will heighten sensations, but you may find your body feels too heavy to fully enjoy sex.

Most men will love your bigger tits and fuller hips, but sometimes an overriding concern to avoid any exertion on the uterus or in the vagina makes partnered sex too cumbersome.

Sex during pregnancy, like sex after menopause, is free of worry about contraception, which makes sex more enjoyable for some.  While others are too busy anticipating the new addition to be much interested in sex at all.

In terms of sexual positions, you’re gonna be the best judge of that.  No preg_sex08.jpgposition is automatically ruled out, but as your pregnancy progresses you’ll find some positions, like the missionary position, will be uncomfortable. One of the best positions might be the woman on top position. Sometimes known as the Cowgirl position.  This position takes all of the pressure off of the woman’s abdomen, and also allows her to control the speed and the depth of thrusting.

And if you are a fan of anal sex; that will continue to be a terrific option throughout your pregnancy, particularly doggie style.  Some pregnant women claim that butt fucking actually helps soothe their pregnancy induced hemorrhoids.  In your final weeks mutual masturbation may be the easiest option as well as the most satisfying sexual outlet.

Good Luck ya’ll

Hard To Imagine

Name: Gwen
Age: 57
Location: Philly
My husband and I have been married for 33 years. Our relationship is hell when it comes to sex. My husband is overweight, and he’s stressed out about his elderly parents. Sex is non-existent. He never was the instigator in our relationship. And he is the kind of guy who thinks having sex on the couch as opposed to the bedroom is adventuresome. He has become so boring. I don’t believe the man feels sex should be that important at our ages. (I’m 57 and he’s 62) I, on the other hand, am more sexually aroused and creative than ever now that I am more mature and the kids are out of the house. Menopause and all the sex on the internet helps too. 😉 Is there anything I can do to make my man return to being a healthy sexual being once again? Thank you, Gwen

No, thank you, Gwen. Your complaint is a familiar one. In fact, so familiar I regularly offer therapy groups for couples in long-term relationships. Like you and your old man, these couples have, for one reason or another, hit a wall when it comes to their sex lives.

I take a very unique approach to these groups by inviting both straight and gay couples to the same group. At first I got a lot of resistance. Most couples, both gay and straight, thought there was nothing to be learned from a couple unlike them. They couldn’t imagine why I would want to integrate the group in such a manner. I think most of my couples felt more comfortable in being in a segregated group — straight folks with straight folks, gay folks with gay folks.01.jpg

But that is. of course, precisely the reason I integrate the groups. I don’t want them to feel all comfy and cozy, I wanted them to work and learn and stretch themselves out of their sexual doldrums. At first, I had to ask all my couples to suspend judgment about an integrated group until they had an opportunity to participate in one. Now I don’t encounter so much resistance. Word’s gotten out that this is a really creative solution to an otherwise tricky problem. And that old married couples, regardless if they are gay, lesbian or straight have very similar problems. And they can and do learn from one another.

To your specific issue, Gwen, I’m sad to say there’s not much you can do to beef up your sex life if there’s no interest on the part of your husband to do so. I mean, you can lead the horse to cooter, but you can’t make him lick.

200.jpgYou confide that your husband is overweight and stressed. Not a happy combination when it comes to his sexual response cycle. In fact, your husband sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen. Perhaps if your challenged him about his general health — encourage weight loss and stress reduction, you might find that this would also reignite his sex drive. It’s worth a try.

And thank you for mentioning menopause. So many women find the changes that take place in midlife confusing and disorientating. It’s so good to hear from a woman who is eager to explore and enjoy her sexuality post-menopause.

Men also go through changes, in midlife. There’s even a name for it — andropause — the male menopause as it were. It’s clear that as we age, both women and men need more time and stimulation to get aroused. The slower, more sensuous foreplay that often results is a welcome change for most women and even some men.

Increased focus on sensuality, intimacy, and communication can help a sexual relationship remain rewarding even well into one’s senior years. I think you already know this, Gwen, but many women in my audience don’t.

If your husband is avoiding intercourse, there still many ways of expressing your love and staying connected:

  • Hugging, cuddling, kissing
  • Touching, stroking, massage, sensual baths
  • Masturbation and oral sex

However, if your husband is more wedded to food and to stress than he is to you, and1019.jpg if he continues to refuse to join you in finding an appropriate outlet for your sexual frustration, then it’s up to you to make this happen on your own. 57 is way too young to say good by to your sex life. You’re still a fine cougar with lots to offer.

May I suggest that you join a women’s group. Not a therapy group, but more of a support group or activities group. Getting out of the house, being involved with other self-actualized mature women, may uncover the secret solutions other women have put in place to find sexual satisfaction when they are without a partner or have a partner who’s no longer interested in them. I think you will be surprised by how creative your sisters can be. Make it happen, Gwen. Don’t sink to the lowest common denominator of living a sexless life.

The Suppressing Gag Reflex — A Tutorial

Arguably, the humble blowjob is the most common partnered sexual activity for men — straight, bi or gay. It’s pretty obvious why the gays like to suck cock. But nowadays loads of straight women have taken to smokin’ some pole too. Let’s face it; it’s a great way to give pleasure. Regardless of whether it’s part of foreplay, after play, or the main event — like relieving the Commander in Chief in the oval office after a long day of comandering and chiefing, don’t cha know.deep.jpg

Certain skills are essential for mind-blowing oral sex. The preeminent skill, of course, is mastering the gag reflex. But close behind that is keeping your partner’s spooge off your blue dress.

Did you know that the gag response is least active in the morning? That’s right, my pretties, you’re gonna have to know things like this if you aspire to getting a gold medal in cock sucking. Besides, tidbits like this also make for the most charming dinner party trivia.

Today we’re gonna look at three important aspects of understanding and suppressing that nasty gag reflex when chowin’ down on some love muscle.


So let’s take a semi-serious look at the gag response and why we have it. Millions of years of evolution have provided us the anatomical function we call the gag reflex to protect our throat. And as all you rocket scientists know an obstruction in your throat — in either your larynx, which connects to your lungs or the pharynx, which connects to your stomach could be deadly. And since us humans breathe more often than we swallow, the larynx is always open. We all have a piece of cartilage known as the epiglottis at the back of our throat that responds to swallowing. This is not to be confused with the uvula, which is that little thingy that hangs down from the back of your mouth.

Isn’t this fascinating? Aren’t you delighted you stopped by today? Hold on, there’s01010501020801031020070602eaccf0a24f0ac5e33500b857.jpg more!

The passageway to the stomach is fairly narrow, although you’d never guess that from the way some folks wolf down their food. The gag reflex protects us from getting something stuck in there. If the object being swallowed — a big old cock or a piece of cold pizza — can’t easily pass the opening of the pharynx, the epiglottis flaps triggering the gag response. This forces the foreign object — big old cock or cold pizza — out. This is a lifesaving reflex because it protects us from literally biting off more than he can swallow. And since there’s not gonna be a whole lot of biting off and chewing when we blow some dude, the gag reflex can be pretty pronounced.

The object of this tutorial is to help us subdue this lifesaving reflex when needed. The first thing we should know is when suckin’ cock, the dick in question can’t get stuck in our pharynx because, happily it’s attached to the dude we’re blowin’. It can, therefore, be removed without the coughing and choking associated with the garden variety of gagging.

Let’s review. Your tongue, your salivary glands, your hard palate, your soft palate, your uvula, your epiglottis, your tonsils, and your pharynx are all parts of the sensory experience for you as well as your partner with his dick in your mouth. When you deep throat his johnson, your uvula and the epiglottis tickle his dickhead. I guess that’s why us mens like getting’ head so much.

Like anything worth doing, mastering the gag reflex takes practice. The most important thing to remember is that we cannot simultaneously inhale and swallow. Also the epiglottis is very flexible, while the pharynx is relatively rigid.

Let’s do some math. The depth of our mouth — from the lips to the curve in the pharynx just in the back of the throat is three of four to inches. The pharynx runs another five and half inches or so before the esophagus begins, which continues another eight or nine inches. That makes for total passageway available for swallowing cock between seventeen and nineteen inches long. How’s that for adaptability? Your throat is not just for sword-swallowing any more! As long as your partner’s prick is neither too wide nor too stiff to make the turn in the pharynx, an average cocksucker can completely swallow just about anyone for a short period of time while holding his or her breath.


Probably you’ve already guessed that positioning the cock your sucking at just the4002.jpg right angle down your throat is crucial. Check it out. Take a deep breath; insert two fingers as far as possible into your mouth. Your fingers will bend easily downward. While you’re rootin’ around inside there, you’ll immediately have a sense of internal capacity of your oral cavity. Carefully placing a couple fingers at the back of your mouth shouldn’t cause you to gag, but moving them around might. This underscores the importance of having the willie you’re about to swallow go in the right direction.

So let’s say you’re on your knees, with the intended cock right in front of you. If it’s rock-hard and/or curved upward, as some of those darling things are, that dick is gonna go pounding against your tonsils, making you gag, sure as shootin’. The dude’s cock has to go in and then down your throat, not up and against the roof of your mouth. Got it? Jamming his member against your hard palate will also be pretty unpleasant for the owner of the said cock. This could easily give his dickhead a real owie!

This brings us to the ever-popular sixty-nine position. It’s so popular because it points the dude’s rod toward the base of your tongue, thereby successfully navigating of the curve in your throat.

A proper breathing technique is as important as position to happy deep throating. The aquatic minded among us already have the key. Swimmers know that synchronizing one’s breathing with the motion one is making with his or her arms and legs makes for less effort and more stamina. The same is true for the person gulping a big one…or even a small one for that matter. You’ll want to inhale while doing down on his cock, exhale quickly while coming up, then inhale again going back down. The deeper you inhale on the down stroke, the longer you’ll be able to hold216008009_ac9a5d9974.jpg your breath. And PRESTO! The longer you’re able to hold your breath the deeper your partner’s baloney pony will disappear down your gullet. So you see it’s exactly like swimming, only completely different.

For the non-athletes in my audience there is another way to learn to control the gag reflex. Simply practice holding your breath and swallowing at the same time.

We could all learn a lot from the little piggie cocksucker among us. They’re in this whole blowjob thing for the long haul, and they know that pacing one’s self is crucial. They know how important it is to pull off the cock from time to time, at least far enough to take in some air before going down on it again. If you try this you could make some yummy sounds while you pull off his cock. Or you could take it out of your mouth and look at it admiringly. He’ll be impressed that you like his rigid piece of art, and only you’ll know that what you’re actually doing is simply catching your breath.

You should know that deep throating a pleasure prong is gonna make a lot of saliva. This is a double-edged sword. Great for keeping things lubed up, but problematic if that abundant saliva falls into the larynx and makes you cough and choke. If your saliva becomes a problem rather than an asset try relaxing for a bit with his cock in the forward of your mouth so that your larynx will open for breathing. This shallow sucking is a delightful counterpoint to deep throat sucking. You can also practice relaxing and stretching the muscles that regulate swallowing by opening your mouth wide, like in a yawn.

Whichever technique or combination of techniques works for you, remember to breathe. Accumulation of mucous will sometimes mean you have to take a break to spit. If you try to continue without spitting, it will just make you uncomfortable. And who need that?

Also when you deep throat your nose will run and your eyes will water. So if you’re wearing a lot of makeup when you’re blowin’ your guy, you’ll look like a raccoon with a clown face by the time you’re through. Some guys really like this. It suggests to them that they have a really big dick to have wreaked so much havoc.deepthroat.jpg

You’ll probably want to keep at least one of your hands on his pole while you’re sucking it. This will give you more control, especially when he starts pelvic thrusting.

It’s a good idea to keep a hand on his balls too, as they are usually a good indicator of how close your man is to cuming. As he gets closer to shooting, the skin on his scrotum tightens and pulls his balls towards his body to warm them up. You can let this happen on its own, or help out by stimulating his jewels with your hand, tongue, or mouth.

Finally, a common mistake most women and some men make while blowin their guy is using only their mouth to repeatedly bob up and down his weener. This is neither pretty or particularly helpful! Some folks continue doing this until they get a sore jaw or neck. A good deep-throatin’ blowjob should not be too repetitive. The wise cocksucker will keep her/his hands busy throughout. She’ll include stroking his dick, exploring balls, thighs and asshole. By mixing things up, he’ll allow his mouth and throat muscles to relax. This will improve one’s performance and will subdue one’s gag reflex.

Good Lick…I mean Luck…ya’ll

Come With Me

Name: Julie
Gender: Female
Age: 38
Location: Boston
I went to Vegas with my best friend and she wanted to be laid in the worst way. Our first night in sin city I told her that prostitution is legal here and we “let our fingers do the walkin'”. Soon a gigolo was at the door. He was not six feet with blue eyes as promised, but he was an aspiring chiropractor and seemed like a nice lad so we let him in. The agency had said that they were registered with the State of Nevada and that they need payment upfront including the tip. Being novices to this we ponied up. I left my friend with the guy for her birthday shag and went for a walk around Vegas. I almost called you, Dr. Dick, so excited was I to be sophisticated. I had employed your advice and hired a pro and all! 20 minutes later I was staring at the Lions in the MGM Grand my cell rings. It’s her. The gigolo had a story about not being able to use her condoms due to a latex allergy and that the “other kind” which he had in his pocket must have dropped out in the lobby. This was a total bummer and the gigolo made off with almost $600 bucks! Can you publish “An idiot’s guide to hiring sex work”? We felt like total rubes and were sorely disappointed. The remainder of the celebrations were fantastic. We saw “The Thunder From Downunder” an all-male revue that was just wonderful. We also met many nice tourists and things looked up.


Thanks for the Vegas travelogue. Sorry to hear you got ripped off by the “pro” you tried to hire for a little pleasure. That bums me out. I’m of the mind that freelance providers are generally a better bet than going through a agency. I know it’s too late now, but a consumer should never pay anything in advance. Ya always want to check out the goods first, don’t cha know! And if someone balks at that, you don’t want to do business with that person.

Not to make light of your situation, but I have a friend who was having trouble with his plumbing. No not that kind of plumbing! He tired to fix it himself, but to no avail. He was frustrated as all get-out. Finally I talked him into calling a “pro”. I don’t know where he found the plumber he called, but like you he got ripped off big time! There are dishonest people in every profession.

I applaud your moxie, girl. Don’t let this one bad apple scare you away from trying again another time. I stand by the Rent-A-Boy concept. Keep me posted on your future efforts.

Name: alex smith
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: California
I have had this litlle lump in my balls sac since i was a kid it doesnt hurt when i squeeze it and its inside i cant get it off because its attached to theno-freaking-out.jpg skin and im afraid to ask my doctor what do i do?

You’re 22 and you’re afraid to ask your doc about a bump on your nuts? What kind of pussy are you? Come on, grow a pair already, why don’t ‘cha?

This may come as somewhat of a surprise to you, but this is precisely what doctors are for. They look at the things that cause us concern, they tell us what it is, and by doing so, they put our minds to rest. Listen; if you’ve had this bump since you were a kid, the likelihood that it’s anything of consequence is pretty minimal. But go get it checked out so you can stop freakin’ out!

Name: Warwick
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: Wyoming
Dear Mr. Dr. Dick, my fiancee was raped by her step brother when she 13. she put up with it and has since repressed it continuing a “normal” relationship with him. how do i deal with this? how can i stand the thought of him or bear seeing him knowing what he has done?

Holy cow! That’s a bummer. But tell me this, if your fiancée repressed this memory (and that’s what repressed means) how did you find out about the incident?

If in fact your fiancée hasn’t repressed the memory, but is trying to get beyond it by not letting it rule her life, then I think you need to do the same. Shit happens! And sometimes the shit is ugly shit, like rape. But if we allow the shit to contaminate our life, crippling our relationships, and us; then the shit wins. Don’t let this happen to you…or your fiancée.

If you guys need help getting past this, seek a sex-positive therapist. A good therapist will not let you sabotage the rest of your life with fear, anger, hatred or revenge.

You can’t do anything about the past, but you do have some control over how you will react in the future. Rise above this! It’s the only way to go, my friend.

Name: Rob
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: New Orleans
doc. im starting to get into stimulating my prostate. i heard it will give you ground breaking orgasms but i just cant seem to do it correctly. could you please give me some tips about this.. cheers

You betcha! I’m a big fan of prostate massage — as a solitary pleasure or as part ofc771-1.jpg partnered sex play. Because it is something every guy can practice and enjoy. I recommend all us men folk be prostate aware. You probably also know I’m a big advocate of frequent prostate self-exams, right? And I figure while you’re down there rootin’ around in your butt hole checkin’ thing out, spend a little more time and give yourself a nice little massage why don’t ‘cha? Fingers work just fine for this, but an insertable vibrator is…well…out of this world. Prostate massage is a wonderful way to expand your self-pleasuring repertoire, especially for all you guys out there who only know how to yank on your dick for joy. Check out: The “Progasm” Prostate Massager in My Stockroom.

And ladies, prostate massage is a great way to please and pleasure your male partners. Perhaps if your let your guy know that a little butt play can be real fun and it ain’t queer, more straight guys would be less ass-phobic. And I can guarantee that the world would be a much better place.

You can feel your prostate gland by inserting a finger a couple of inches or so into your bum. If you are the least bit aroused your prostate will feel like a smooth rounded flat lump about the size of a large almond. Just in back of and up from your prostate is a smaller triangular wedge shaped nodule that is the bottom portion of your somewhat larger seminal vesicles. This, by the way, is where most of your jizz is produced and stored. Underneath the seminal vesicles are the ampullae, which are tiny reservoirs for your sperm that will mix with all the other fluids produced by the vesicles and your prostate when you cum.


As you become aroused, ejaculatory fluid and sperm accumulate in these glands backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When the fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the muscular contractions of your ejaculation. This empties the glands and you, my friend, have just shot your wad. Naturally, if one abstains from ejaculating for a while and prolongs his arousal stage, say like through edging, more fluids will build up, making for a larger load and a more explosive orgasm.

So with that little anatomy lesson behind us, so to speak, we can get back to prostate massage. Ya don’t need nothin’ fancy, simply insert your well-lubricated middle finger or middle finger and index finger into your butt hole and apply a little pressure. Slowly massage your prostate. Try a nice circular motion. Doesn’t that feel yummy? Some men can cum by prostate massage alone. Hell, you may find that you don’t even need a stiff dick to enjoy an orgasm and/or an ejaculation.

Looking for something more advanced? Male Erotic Massage.

Name: matt
Gender: Male
Age: 37
Location: Seattle
I can’t stop going to massage parlors. I go all the time. HJ only there but lots of touching and kissing. I am married and can’t help the need for the excitement. If my wife found out I think she would divorce me. Is this healthy?

Hand jobs, kissing and touching are all very healthy.

But the guilt and shame aren’t healthy, that’s for sure. If you can’t stop a going to the massage parlors, you’re being obsessive; and that’s not healthy. Living a lie and hiding this from your wife isn’t particularly healthy either.

Name: jon251328494_14815fb5a2.jpg
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: ca
hi im 18 and i like to finger my ass and use wieners is that good?

Are these cocktail wieners? Hot dogs? Dinner franks? Polish sausage?

Is it good? Gee, I don’t know. I never stuck any kind of wiener up my poop-chute. Why don’t you tell me?

Oh wait; you want to know if it’s ok for you, or anyone, to do this, right? Yeah, I think it’s ok. Just don’t ever invite me to your place for a weenie roast!
Good luck ya’ll

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