Because The Dr Dick Review Crew has been inundated with loads of swell adult products to review, we will be presenting several different toys each week till we relieve the backlog.
Despite it not even being Halloween yet, I know from my forays into the land of retail that holiday gift giving is not far from the minds of a lot of people. Perish the thought! So expediting our reviews will also give you loads of gift-giving ideas. And that, my friends, is all I’m gonna say about that till at least the middle of next month when we launch our annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.
Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Madora, Joy & Dixie, Brad and Glenn & Hank. So without further ado…
There’s something brand-spankin new goin on at Fleshlight. Here’s Brad to tell us all about it.
The Fleshlight company has been around for a lone time. They make the legendary Fleshlight and Fleshjack. I’m the proud owner of my very own Fleshlight; it is my go-to toy for spankin the monkey. I never get tired of my Fleshlight and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. That’s way I wanted to review their new product: Sex In A Can.
I am of the mind that foolin’ around with or trying to improve on a great product, an icon even, will sure enough just fuck things up. I just couldn’t see why the Fleshlight people were tempting fate by bring outSex In A Can. But I promised Dr Dick that I would set aside my preconceived ideas and approach this new product with an open mind.
Damn! I’ll be the first to admit, I was totally off base in thinking the iconic Fleshlight couldn’t be improved upon. Wait, improved is not the word I’m looking for, because Sex In A Can doesn’t really improve on the original design, it just gives the consumer yet another option.
Those of you familiar with Fleshlight will know that every customer can pretty much customize every aspect of the unit he wants to buy. They have several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral”. The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. The insert comes in different colors, and there are several different internal contours for the insert itself.
Sex In A Can is basically just another option in terms of size and shape. Here’s what I mean. Sex In A Can is shaped like a tallboy beer, instead of the traditional oversized Fleshlight shape. It is lighter, more compact, less expensive, yet it has all the features of its big brothers.
There are three brand new “orifice” options — two different pussies (Mmmm, pussies!) and a mouth. Three new insert contours too. Everything else — including the patented Superskin insert remains the same. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a tallboy beer, has removable caps at both ends, as does the Fleshlight. The top cap covers the head of the insert and keeps it clean when your dick’s not in it. The end cap can also be removed for easy cleaning.
Just like the Fleshlight, ya gotta loosen the end cap a bit before you attempt to stick in your dick. Sex In A Can is a whole lot tighter than my stalwart Fleshlight. In fact, bein the hefty-cock brother I am, it was a very tight squeeze. I had to use a shitload of lube just to get me started. Oh, and by the way, you can only use water-based lube with all the Fleshlight Superskin products. Here’s a tip: you adjust the suction created inside Sex In A Can by either loosening or tightening the base cap.
Clean up is a super-easy. A little soap and water will do the trick. But once the insert is dry, you have to dust it, inside and out, with a little cornstarch, or body powder. This will help keep things as fresh as the day you got it.
MySex In A Can: Spread Eagle Brew, came with the Pink Spread Lady orifice; (Mmmm, pussies!) mini vortex insert; the cleverly designed beer can case; and sample packet of lube.
Glenn: “Check this out! This is the best thing that’s happened to butt fuckin since the invention of the sling. The Ramp is just one of Liberator’s many sex furniture shapes that are designed to add more fun and lessen bodily stress for whatever kind of sex you have up your sleeve.” Hank: “Or down your pant leg, as the case may be. We got us a plus sized Ramp and it is covered in black pleather. But you can choose from a bunch of sizes and fabric options.”
Glenn: “Pleather is great, because it cleans up fast. And that’s a big plus because our sessions can get pretty messy.” Hank: “Ok, so what is the LiberatorRamp exactly and why is even better than a sling, or a swing for that matter? Good questions. The LiberatorRamp is a big triangular shaped, sturdy, comfy and solidly made cushion. Ours is 29” X 35” X 12”. And it can be used in a multitude of ways.” Glenn: “It’s better than a sling or swing, because it’s portable, storable and you don’t have to suspend it from the ceiling, or set it up every time you want to shag. It does stow easily under the bed. It’s perfect for butt fuckin, because regardless of what position you like the LiberatorRamp is gonna make the sex a whole lot better for the top as well as the bottom.” Hank: “Glenn likes it doggie style. I just bend him over the Ramp and plow away at his ass. It’s easier on me, because his ass is elevated to just the right position for the ass-ult. I can go as deep as possible, because his pelvis is supported by theRamp. Oh, and ya can’t really do doggie style in a sling or swing!” Glenn: “Hank is right! I don’t have to arch my back or strain my arms and wrists pressing back against his manly thrusts. But he can still grab my hair and pull.” Hank: “You joke, but I know you love it deep and heavy. You’re just a dirty little piggy bottom, aren’t you?” Glenn: “Oink, oink! I do enjoy a furious ride, that’s for damn sure. Ok, so if you want to do another position, all you do is reposition yourself on theRamp for a little face-to-face action. Like I lay down on theRamp, with my head at the lowest part of the incline. I scoot my butt to the highest edge of the incline.” Hank: “Again, his ass is perfectly positioned for me to fuck him silly. With Glenn already angled down, I can lift and open his legs with ease.” Glenn: “My toes are pointed to Jesus, and I’m in fuckin’ heaven.” Hank: “Oh, theRamp is great for cocksucking too. I just lay back on theRamp, in the position Glenn just described, which elevates my hips 12” off the floor. Glenn has all the access he needs to my dick, balls and rosebud. He can service me till his heart’s content.” Glenn: “Again, there no stress or strain on my neck or back while I blow him. And in this position Hank can grab his knees and pull open his own legs. PERFECT!”
FULL REVIEW HERE
Joy & Dixie have the pleasure of introducing you to a new kid on the block, Duncan Charles Designs. They specialize in unique, handcrafted ceramic adult toys.
Dixie: “Here’s something refreshing, this ceramic textured dildo is handmade! I’m so tired of mass-produced sex toys, aren’t you? Oh to have something unique, something that is crafted not manufactured.” Joy: “Dixie is so right; I love knowing that no one else on the planet had precisely the same toy as we have. Each Duncan Charles Designs piece is unlike any other. In fact, it’s beautiful art. And it is GREEN!” Dixie: “Signature has a food grade high-gloss coating that makes it as smooth as glass. But it is also textured, just the way we like it. Despite it being ceramic, there is nothing fussy about this beauty.” Joy: “However, you will want to treat Signature with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a fine-looking sculpture.” Dixie: “Signature comes wrapped in a lovely lined ultrasuede pouch. Ours is jet black, but it also comes in red. It’s just under 8″ long and weighs in at just over 8 ounces.” Joy: “It has a rounded head on top of its scalloped shaft. The ridges add immeasurable fun. Because of the super high-gloss finish, we only had to use a little bit of lube. And you can use any type of lube you want with this ceramic baby.”
Dixie: “This dildo is designed for g-spot, clitoral or prostate massage. Unlike most of the other G-spot stimulators that have a curve to themSignature is straight as an arrow. And yet it is just as effective as the curved ones.” Joy: “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Signature to suit my mood. You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by placing it under running hot water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
Finally, Madora, has something fun from Big Teaze Toys to show you.
When I saw the Super Flower Power, two-piece bouquet at Dr. Dick’s I had to have it! It’s the cutest thing ever; a vibrator cleverly disguised as a daisy, complete with stem and soft removable petals, even a ladybug button that controls the 8 (EIGHT!) different “play modes”. It’s from Big Teaze Toys, the people that brought us the “Rub My Duckie“, rubber duck vibrator bathtub toy. Clearly it was adorable, but was it functional? I brought it home to find out.
Home; batteries included (triple A), YES! I love it when that happens. Inside there’s a bonus Flower Power keychain, a mini version of the vibe that looks like a little daisy without the stem, this one even comes with bonus extra batteries (the little watch kind), EXCELLENT!
My first impression is that the vibrating part, the center of the flower, is a little hard for me. At least for direct contact with my “flower”. The center of the flower is hard plastic. But I like the soft petals which spread the vibes out from its petals to yours. It’s like a gentle labia massage, which is cool and rare in a vibrator. These are especially nice if you use a little lube on the petals.
I’m starting to get used to the texture and hardness. I actually like it and like the strength of the vibe when I’m using it through my clothes, the barrier makes it not seem so hard and yet it’s still able to convey strong enough vibes right through to where they’re needed. I was thinking it could be fun for when you want to tease your partner right through her clothes. Did I mention these toys are waterproof?
All in all it definitely did the trick but when I really start to get into it, either with the vibe or the little keychain, the soft petal ring pops right off the vibrator. I either hafta kinda hold it on, or stop and put it back on, if I wanna keep playing with that part. So that’s a bummer.
The keychain has been a godsend. I’m on a trip right now and brought it with me and wasn’t concerned about security seeing it, It just looks like a toy. I ended up having cramps and everyone knows an orgasm is the best thing for cramps so I put it to use, you know, for medicinal purposes.
I guess everyone is enjoying The Erotic Mind series as much as me. So yeah for that! Apparently you love to listen to my chats with these brilliant artists and authors as much as I enjoy interviewing them. But while I’m busy doing that, my in-box and voicemail gets clogged with messages from the sexually worrisome looking for advice. And ya know what? They’ve come to the right palace; and so have you. Today’s show is all Q&A.
So make yourself comfortable it’s gonna be a very interesting ride.
Giggles says she’s gettin off on Joy.
Anonymous wants to learn how to blow himself.
Celia thinks her clit is too little.
Deborah wants the low-down on open relationships!
Then there’s a whole bunch of quickies.
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!
Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.
Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.
DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!
Look for all of my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.
Joy: “First off, there is no way a photo on a website could ever capture the stunning beauty of The Two Way.” Dixie: “That is so true! When either one or both of us aren’t enjoying The Two Way in the bedroom; it is proudly displayed on our mantelpiece on its own Plexiglas stand. Can ya stand it?” Joy: “I actually prefer this in my pussy, or better yet as a double dong for both our pussies; but it is lovely on the mantel, that’s for damn sure.” Dixie: “The Two Way is made of Pyrex glass. Ya know, that durable glass that daily takes a beating in your kitchen.” Joy: “It’s a whooper too! It’s approximately 12” long x 1” diameter. It weighs a hefty 1lb 12.6 oz. It’s quite a handful. There is no texture to it; it’s totally smooth.”
Dixie: “Actually, it’s more than a handful. More than even two hands full.”
Joy: “And as I said, your can play with this solo, or make it a party for two. There is nothing gender specific about this; so boys can have a ball with this too!” Dixie: “If you are unfamiliar with glass insertables, you should know that the market is currently being flooded with glass products. Very few of them are as fine a quality as The Two Way. The cheap knock-offs are being mass-produced in China. I’d avoid that stuff like the plague, if i were you. In this instance, you should expect to pay some real good money, $120+, for something top of the line like this.” Joy: “Glass is like no other sex toy material. With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick. And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.” Dixie: “The Two Way, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too. Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up. But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or dip it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Because glass is non-porous, it is the ideal material for the toys one shares.”
Lookie what we have here; its art that is as stunning on your mantle as it is inside you. Over the next two weeks, the Dr Dick Review Crew has the pleasure (both literally and figuratively) of introducing you to three exquisite insertables by a brand new artisan: Simply Blown. They get extra points for their name and the double entendre. Who doesn’t appreciate a sex toy company with a sense of humor?
Each one of the toys we have is unique. They are individually crafted and are museum quality. Think of it as old world craftsmanship with a wickedly sexy edge. What could be finer?
Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Joy & Dixie do the honors.
This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.
Gina: “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties. Just look at them! I could hardly contain myself. Kevin: “She gets that way sometimes.” Gina: “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?” Kevin: “Oh I’m so BUSTED!” Gina: “There, I told you.” Kevin: “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the Love Line. She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.” Gina: “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.” Kevin: “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!” Gina: “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.” Kevin: “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.” Gina: “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.” Kevin: “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys. I get so fuckin’ hot. The Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic. Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke. This drove her wild. And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of. ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ” Gina: “He does love his dirty talk. I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that. It sounded so crude. Now turns me on. See I’m growing!” Kevin: “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows. I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass. It’s cool and my ass devours it.” Gina: “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him. He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.” Kevin: “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation. Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug. It’s a dildo. A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.” Gina: “I stand corrected.” Kevin: “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs. Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.” Gina: “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves. I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.” Kevin: “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?” Gina: “Sheesh!” Kevin: “On our next date with the Love Line we took our time. We added some sensation play. The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled. We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other. Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”
I’m in love with LELO! I feel like I’ve scored the Review Crew jackpot with my IRIS.
I have the pleasure of introducing you to IRIS, the beautifully designed and multifunctional silicone vibrating dildo, I mean insertable…I mean pleasure object. Sheesh! LELO is so freakin’ high-end that they’ve taken it upon themselves to euphemize their sex toys as pleasure objects. I say; “a rose by any other name…”
I’ve never been one to buy into the hype about sex toys, especially hype generated by a toy’s manufacturer about its own products. But somehow “pleasure object” fits in this case. LELO spares no expense in treating their customers like we’re someone special. I mean, everything from the stylish upscale (some would say overkill) packaging to the 1-year LELO warranty confidently states quality. Is there another toy on the market that comes with a warranty?
IRIS comes in three appealing girly colors, mine is pink. Judging just from the color palette this pleasure object is obviously part of LELO Femme line. They also have their Homme line that features guy toys in guy colors. I’m not so particular about color, but I’ll bet a man would be less inclined to buy an IRIS because of the color. And that’s too bad, because this toy could easily be enjoyed by either gender or everyone in between.
IRIS is also rechargeable, so a big hurray for that! A three-hour wall charge gives it up to five hours of power. Mmmm! And because it’s fully charged at the factory, you can start playing with the IRIS immediately. Extra points for that!
(By the way, I’m trying to be as responsible as I can with my motorized toys. Whenever possible I choose rechargeable. When that’s not and option I always use rechargeable batteries. To do less is a both expensive and decidedly un-GREEN.)
The insertable part of IRIS is made of firm high-grade silicone molded into a stylized (slightly curved) flower bud shape. Very appealing! I like a little texture to my dildos, so this is perfect for me. And get this; there two separate motors in this baby — one in the shaft and one in the tip. These can be controlled separately or together.
Despite the two motors, the level of vibration can’t compare to a couple of other vibes I own. That actually surprised me, because I was expecting the IRIS to jump out of my hand on the high speed. The sensations are pleasant enough, and I could easily distinguish between the vibrations produced in the shaft as opposed to those produced in the tip. Just don’t expect it to knock your socks off. The motors, however, are very quiet; a feature that is very important to me. I hate it when a vibe sounds like a lawnmower.
You’ll probably want to use lube with IRIS, because she’s thicker than a lot of toys. Be sure you use only a water-based lube on a beautiful silicone pleasure object like this. Using a silicone-based lube will destroy IRIS. Because of it’s length, the pleasure is deep as well as full.
The control button is lighted and it allows me to increase the intensity of vibrations as well as cycle through the five pulsation modes. However, the controls in the handle aren’t particularly easy to adjust with lubed fingers. This can be pretty frustrating.”
Hank: “This is the fanciest cockring I ever did see!” Glenn: “Pretty damned expensive too.” Hank: “Yeah, but hardly the most expensive one I own. That honor goes to my Silver Tongue Cock Ring.” Glenn: “Yeah, but that one doesn’t vibrate like BO does. And the BO is rechargeable; so you can’t beat that!” Hank: “LELO calls BO a gentleman’s pleasure object. I call it a vibrating cockring. I mean, please!” Glenn: “Ya got no class, Hank! I like the pleasure object concept; it’s so elegant.” Hank: “You weren’t thinking about elegant the other day when I had my cock buried up to the hilt in your bung and the BO was shiverin’ your ass lips.” Glenn: “True! I was thinking; ‘Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!’” Hank: “You are such a freak!” Glenn: “Well when it comes to my hole, you know I am.” Hank: “Let’s get back to the review, shall we? BO actually has two parts — the ring itself and the vibrating attachment. The ring is made of a soft, flexible material. The small print on the LELO site says this material is Thermoplastic elastomers (TPE). Will this be an issue for someone who has an allergy to rubber or latex-based products? It beats the hell out of me.
The vibrating attachment is encased in a sturdy plastic material. Sliding the attachment onto the ring activates the vibe. There is no on/off switch.” Glenn: “I thought that part was odd. Why there’s no on/off switch is like totally beyond me. Because it’s not so easy sliding the vibe attachment onto, or off of the ring. So once ya have the ring on your johnson, it’ll be thrilling the wearer till he takes it off.” Hank: “I tried BO first in a little solo JO session. I was happy to discover that the relatively modestly sized ring stretched to fit my dick. Then I had Glenn give me some head while I was wearing BO. That was pretty mind blowing.” Glenn: “My husband has got a really big one, ladies and gentleman! And I have no gag reflex!”
Tra la! It’s May!
The lusty month of May!
That darling month when ev’ryone throws
Self-control away.
It’s time to do
A wretched thing or two,
And try to make each precious day
One you’ll always rue!
It’s May! It’s May!
The month of “yes you may,”
The time for ev’ry frivolous whim,
Proper or “im.”
It’s wild! It’s gay!
A blot in ev’ry way.
The birds and bees with all of their vast
Amorous past
Gaze at the human race aghast,
The lusty month of May.
— Alan Jay Lerner
I know you’ve all been dying for this, but keep your collective shirts on already, why don’t cha.
Without further delay, here’s Part 2 of my interview with the host of the Midwest Teen Sex Show, that darling of the internet tubes — Nikol Hasler.
Oh, and by the way, if you missed Part 1 of this interview, look for Podcast #74 in the Podcast Archive at the top of the sidebar to your right.
Nikol and I talk about:
A parent’s responsibility for the sex education of their kids.
Female masturbation.
Male masturbation.
The show’s enormous popularity.
Collaborating with her costars.
Being an unlikely sex educator.
The future of MWTSS.
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!
Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail. Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two.
Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.
DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!
Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.
I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on D rDick Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.
From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos.
Name: Todd
Gender: male
Age: 42
Location: OKC
Here’s one for you. Several months ago I had difficulty sleeping so I got a prescription for Ambian. I’ve been using it off and on for several weeks and it worked fine. But I think there are side effects. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and find the TV in my bedroom on and a porno in the DVD player. There’s lube and cum stains on my sheets, but I don’t remember a damn thing. I’ve heard of people sleepwalking, but not to this extent.
Some people don’t just walk in their sleep; they eat as well. And some people, like you, have sex in their sleep. As sleep disorders go, this is pretty extreme, but researchers are finding that abnormal nocturnal behaviors like eating, having sex, even driving a car may be a side effect of that popular sleep medication you’re taking.
You may be a parasomniac, someone who is prone to unusual sleep-related behaviors. Ambian may be aggravating and intensifying or triggering the condition. And curiously enough, there is such a thing as a sexsomniac.
Sexsomnia is an umbrella term for any sexual behavior (masturbation, taking dirty, even fucking) that happens while the person is asleep. The incidences of sexsomnia appear to be on the rise, but that might be attributed to growing public awareness.
As an aside, get this. — A surge in naked sleepwalking among guests has led one of Britain’s largest budget hotel groups to re-train staff to handle late-night nudity.
Travelodge, which runs more than 300 business hotels in Britain, says sleepwalking rose seven-fold in the past year, and 95 per cent of the sleepwalkers are scantily clad men. Isn’t that amazing?
The exact number of sexsomniacs is difficult to determine because it usually isn’t that much of a problem to warrant treatment or even reporting. Perhaps if you weren’t taking Ambien you wouldn’t have even known you were a sexsomniac.
I’m gonna guess, Todd, that you don’t share your bed with a regular partner, right? The reason I ask is that some sexsomniacs have been know to assault their partner, either in the form of non-consensual sex, or consensual sex that becomes disturbing or violent.
So it would seem that the best treatment for you would be to stop the Ambien. You might want to consider an herbal remedy for sleeplessness, one that doesn’t have as many unhappy and unwelcome side effects of this particular prescription med does.
Name: Zoe
Gender: female
Age: 25
Location: Boise
I learned how to masturbate when I was 12. From that first time I’ve loved how it makes me feel. No matter how good my lovers are; they never come close to the pleasure I feel when I’m touching myself. I like the intimacy I have with my boyfriend, but he’s not very good in the sack. I’ve been trying to get him to watch me masturbate, or we could masturbate together, so that he’d know how to touch me and make the bells ring. Unfortunately, he’s really straight-laced and he thinks my suggestion is perverted. He resists every time I bring it up. Sometimes after we have sex, I wait for him to fall asleep then get myself off. Is this selfish?
You betcha it’s selfish, selfish as all get-out. Not you, Zoe, but the bonehead you’re fuckin. This is a classic — “you can lead the horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” sorta deal. Only here we have a — “you can lead the horse’s ass to the mysteries of pussy, but you can’t make him appreciate them.”
I gotta ask, what’s a sexually enlightened chick, like you, doin’ with a bozo, like him? Do you actually think that he’s gonna magically come around one fine day and let you lead him to nirvana? I think not. You know why I think this? It’s because you’ve created a monster, an — “all I need to worry about is me gettin’ off in my girlfriend’s snatch” kinda monster. And that’s one fuckin’ scary monster.
I am of the mind that it’s fruitless to try to get an obstinate partner, like your guy, to do something he doesn’t want to do. The nagging alone will harden his resolve to resist. In the numbskull’s defense, he may be missing the point completely. He may not understand why you want him to watch you pleasure yourself. So if your agenda is to get him to be a better lover, you’re gonna have to come up with a new strategy on how to approach the big lug.
First off, he needs to be told, in no uncertain terms, that he’s not the Hercules in the boudoir he thinks he is. This is gonna sting his ego like crazy and it might very well be the end of him and you altogether. But I assure you, risking this is much better than maintaining the status quo. Because, with each passing fuck, he will be more convinced, then the fuck before, that he’s da man.
Once you burst his bubble, you’ll need to immediately inflate a new one for and with him. Us men folk can’t long survive without our illusions. Begin this inflation process by taking some responsibility for this predicament. Own up to keeping him in the dark about his lack of sexual prowess. Then tell him that there’s a very easy and fun fix for the problem. Maybe if he understands that you want to jill-off for him as a tutorial, he’d be more compliant.
I’d be willing to guess that if you made this presentation more of a game or a role-play scenario then a seminar he’d be more receptive. Why not try something like this. Introduce a blindfold into your sex play. Have him strip down to his jock for you, then blindfold him. It’s gonna be his job to get you off without using the magic wand he has stuck in his jock. The blindfold will necessitate that he use his hands (and mouth) to find and pleasure you. While you tease his dick inside his jock, guide his hands to your pussy. He’ll no doubt be fumbling around at first, so you’ll have to encourage him with some dirty talk, or actually use his hand to jill yourself off. Just remember keep it fun and playful and keep his dick safely tucked away.
You can see how this little exercise could be educational for him without being emasculating. Once he figures out that there’s more to sex than the old in and out, he might actually cum around, so to speak. Similarly, you might, on another occasion, submit to the blindfold yourself and have him use your hand to jack himself off. In time, you be able to do away with the blindfold altogether. But then, you might want to introduce restraints of some sort. While he’s buck naked and restrained put on a hot and horny show for him. Tease him with your self-pleasuring, but don’t let him touch you. Maybe rub yourself with his stiff cock. Since he’ll be unable to resist, it will be like masturbating yourself with his johnson. Doesn’t that sound like a load of fun for all concerned?
However, if the monkey resists even these sexy games; kick him to the curb and find yourself a new man that will appreciate your fine self.
Name: Alex
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Indianapolis
I noticed from your bio, dr dick, that you are a pornographer. How do you justify that? Isn’t pornography basically an insult to human sexuality? How do you square that with being a sex therapist and believing as you say that you affirm the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond.”
Wow, Alex, you actually took the time to read my bio? I’m impressed. You bring up a very interesting point, albeit with a bit of a jab. You’re right, I am a pornographer. If that’s the only word you can come up with to describe what I do at Daddy Oohhh! Productions. I like to think that the adult material I produce is not in conflict with my basic, over all philosophy about human sexuality. BTW, thank you for quoting it as accurately as you did.
Admittedly, porn is a thorny issue in our sex-negative culture. Lots of people are hostile to the notion that there could actually be something uplifting and life affirming about the depiction, in any medium, of sexual behaviors. Lots of people believe that even nudity, let alone full-blown sex, is bad and that it corrupts the consumer, especially if the consumer is a youth.
I don’t happen to share that perception. But this is such a hot-button issue for most people that it’s very difficult to have a civil discourse about the place pornography has in our, or any other culture. Since we find it so difficult to talk about sexual things in the public forum; it’s no surprise that pornography, the public exposure of sexual things, continues to be a big bogyman for even otherwise enlightened people.
I hasten to add that, for the most part, the adult entertainment industry richly deserves the dubious reputation it has. There is an enormous amount content in the marketplace that degrades, dehumanizes and exploits. And I’m not just talking about the stuff that doesn’t suit my tastes. Because there’s a lot of good stuff out there that doesn’t particularly appeal to me.
Therefore, I caution you in your youthful zeal not to reject everything that depicts sexual behavior as worthless just because a good portion of it is indeed shameful junk. That would be like discarding all religion because a good portion of its practitioners degrade, dehumanize and shame those who don’t share their belief system.
You apparently also think there is an inherent contradiction between being a sex therapist and a pornographer. I don’t agree. For over 25 years I’ve been involved in all sorts of cutting-edge sex education and sexual enrichment projects. So why not attempt to bring a fresh, healthier perspective to adult entertainment. Sounds like the perfect role for a sexologist to me.
Humans have been depicting sexual behavior, in one fashion or another, since we were able to scratch images on the walls of our caves. Some of these depictions are intended to titillate, others to educate, even others to edify, but all are expressions of the passions of the person who scratched, painted, wrote or committed to videotape the images they did. And let’s not forget that in more sex-positive societies than our own, sexual practices were and are integral parts of worshiping the deity.
I think that if you were really interested in getting to know my thoughts about pornography, you’d do well to check out some of my work. I am so proud of the work that I do that I put my real name on all my products.
Porn, like most forms of human expression, can be both gold and dross. And maybe, just maybe, we need the crap in order to appreciate the treasure. The definition of what is ‘pornographic’ changes with the times. Community standards also play a part. A lingerie catalog that showed women in bras and panties is ‘pornographic’ in some place, but be no big deal in others.
Also today’s porn maybe tomorrow’s art. A lot of stuff that hangs in the Louvre museum today was, in its day, considered scandalous and pornographic. Happily, we do evolve.
I argue that there is a purpose to sexual depictions, smutty or otherwise. I mean, why else would such depictions be so pervasive and appear in every culture and in every age. And it’s not just because it’s art. Most pornography, by its very nature, is decidedly not art. So if it ain’t art, per se, what the fuck is it? Most pornography is simply designed to arouse sexual desire. And that, generally speaking, is a really good thing. It’s precisely this very pursuit that probably brought you, young Alex, to my site in the first place. Am I correct?
Sexual desire can stimulate an array of thoughts and behaviors from tender, intimate, and passionate to raw, fierce, and cruel. The mood of the consumer also plays a part. If your libido is raging, you might find a certain depiction stimulating. While the same depiction can cause disgust when your hormones are more in check.
Porn tends to show what people fantasize about, rather than what actually happens in the lives of most people. And just so you know, everything is exaggerated in pornography, body parts, sexual situations as well as sexual responses. Everything is staged and a lot of it is faked. Exaggeration is a time honored way of calling attention to something that is otherwise pretty mundane…like sex itself.
In the end, Alex, you will have to decide for yourself what merits pornography has, if any, in our culture. I suggest, however, that you approach porn with a slightly more dispassionate eye than you are currently using. You may find that it has something to teach you about yourself, your culture, as well as the history of human kind.
Apparently you love to listen to my chats with these brilliant artists and authors as much as I enjoy interviewing them. But while I’m busy doing that, my in-box and voicemail gets clogged with messages from the sexually worrisome looking for advice. And ya know what? They’ve come to the right palace; and so have you. Today’s show is all Q&A.
that!”
