Tag: Masturbation

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A Spring Q&A Show — Podcast #268 — 03/21/11

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Hey everybody, Happy Vernal Equinox! It’s the first day of SPRING, at lest it is here in the northern hemisphere. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see the end of winter. The Pacific Northwest is finally waking up to the new season and there are loads of beautiful spring flowers, longer days and warmer weather ahead and all appears right with the world

Ok, so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. The world is sure-enough not so right for lots of people, including the sexually worrisome out there, don’t cha know. But that’s why I’m here! This is my first Q&A show since Valentine’s Day so I have a bunch of very interesting questions and some snappy answers to dazzle you with today.

  • Rod is clueless about oral sex. He need some pointers on tongue lashing his GF.
  • Pushpendra and a shit load of other guys, just like him, have a short fuse.
  • Ozboy is letting his fears and anxiety overrule his cock.
  • Rick wants to know about sounds and urethra play.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Making a Marriage Work; A Primer For Sexual Success

I’m preparing a workshop for recently engaged couples. I expect there will be about a dozen couples attending. While most of the participants will be preparing for their first marriage, there will be at least two couples working on their second marriage. My experience tells me that regardless of how many turns one takes on the merry-go-round anxiety about sexual compatibility, particularly for the long haul, abounds.

One of the best resources out there for those considering a sexually exclusive traditional marriage is Esther Perel’s controversial book, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic.  Her thesis is that increased emotional intimacy between partners often leads to less sexual passion. I’ve been preaching the same sermon for nearly 30 years. But I assure you; there are ways around this predictable stumbling block.

Here we have Paige, age 22 from Tulsa. OK.

I am engaged to a wonderful guy. I’m excited about my upcoming marriage, but I’m also afraid that it will fail. I know you are going to think we’re freaks, but my fiancé and I have decided to save ourselves for after we are married. Some of our friends even our recently married friends are having trouble with their relationship and with the divorce rate so high, what are the chances that my marriage will work? Do I just have cold feet or am I not ready to get married?

First off, I don’t think you’re a freak for reserving full sexual expression till after you’re married. It wasn’t too long ago when that was the norm. But even people who enter marriage as established sex partners aren’t assured success.

I caution you to jettison any Pollyanna notion you might have about marriage being a breeze, or that all you need is love. These are dangerous fictions. Your recently married friends have problems because there are always problems in a marriage. It’s the nature of relationships. Hopefully, the problems you guys will face won’t be insurmountable, but sure as shootin’ problems will be your constant companions, even big problems. So count on it and prepare yourself accordingly.

You can also be assured that the problems you will encounter, regardless of their nature, will impact on your sex life together. Money concerns, the stresses of a career, kids, in-laws, you name it will all influence how you perceive your spouse. Nothing dampens ardor like financial difficulties or meddlesome relatives.

So Paige, rather than focus on the nature of your sex life as you enter your marriage, may I suggest that you concentrate on the bigger picture. And in order to do that you need to ask; why do most traditional, sexually exclusive marriages flounder? They crumble because they can’t bear up under the strain of the couple’s expectations for each other. Simply stated, they want too much from their spouse. They expect companionship, economic support and family for sure, but they also expect their partner to be their best friend, confidant and passionate lover. That’s a pretty tall order to fill for a single individual. Who wouldn’t have cool feet, or even be frozen in place, faced with those daunting expectations.

A lot of engaged couples overly concern themselves with the sexual viability or their relationship. My sense is that sexual concerns, by themselves, don’t tax a marriage to the point of breaking. You’ll notice that I said, ’sexual concerns, by themselves’. While sex and intimacy issues are indeed real and sometimes overwhelming, it’s the underpinnings of the relationship that bring these sexual issues into stark relief. Let me give you an example.

Say I’ve just spent 60 hours this past week at work; I get snarled in traffic on my commute every single day. I drag my sorry ass home to a loving partner, who may have been looking forward to an amorous night of sex play. But I’m completely fagged out, so to speak. I simply don’t have an interest in the old slap and tickle. It’s not that I don’t love my spouse; I do! I don’t have the energy to even squeeze one off by myself, let alone please and pleasure my partner.

Or say I’ve been caring for a house full of sick, ornery kids all day; and freaking out about our family’s precarious financial situation. I have barely the time and energy to rustle together some grub for the brood, when my loving partner, who may have been looking forward to an amorous night of sex play, arrives back at the homestead with stars in his/her eyes. I’m exhausted; and the idea of a tussle in the sack is the last thing on my mind. It’s not that I don’t love my spouse; on the contrary. I just don’t feel attractive, interesting, or more importantly, randy.

As these examples point out it’s not that the sexual energy has flown the coop. More often than not couples who face the tribulations of life together redirect their energy into resolving more pressing concerns than gearing up for sex. The reason I know this for certain is, if I were to take this stressed out couple away from the humdrum of their day-to-day, and land them on a tropical beach without a care in the world; I know for certain they’d fuck like bunnies.

Another example, say a couple is joined at the hip; you know the ones I’m talking about. Where one or the other partner can hardly take a trip to the loo without their spouse traipsing along. Many couples think this kind of closeness is a sign of their love and fidelity, and it may very well be for them. But I can guarantee this kind of familiarity will also stifle sexual passion. The truth of the matter is erotic fervor is dependent on at least a modicum of mystery. If I know my partner like the back of my hand, I’m less likely to see him/her as a sexual object; in the same sexual way as when we were courting.

This also can be proven. Why is the chick at work, who I have virtually nothing in common with, such a turn on? How is it that my yoga instructor, someone I hardly know and who pays me no attention, make me wet? It’s the mystery or the forbidden that jacks up the sexual tension.

The way I see it is passionate sex is dependent on a good deal of sexual tension. This kind of tension dissipates with time and it takes a great deal of work to keep that tension alive. Most couples don’t invest that kind of energy; even though they may pay lip service to the notion that they want the passion to continue.

Intimacy, on the other hand, is dependent on domestic tranquility, in other words, the elimination of tension in the relationship; regrettably this also includes sexual tension. And since most couples desire intimacy over sex they choose (either consciously or not) the path of domestic tranquility. But the result can be the kind of sexual frustration so many married people report.

I’ve been to a lot of wedding; and I’ve officiated at more than I can count. I’ve helped numerous couples construct their vows. Generally the first thing they want to say to each other is something like: “I promise to be your best friend, your confidant; your constant companion. Sound familiar? I thought it might. What I never hear is: “I promise to always be up for all your hot monkey love.” Not only would that vow be a showstopper; it would be an impossible promise to keep, unless you’re a blow-up doll. Frankly, it’s so much easier being a best friend or confident than the sexual siren that will be the answer to all your erotic dreams after we’re married for a few years.

Sexual exclusivity is at the heart of the romantic ideal. That’s why sexual infidelity is such a bugaboo in our culture. But the truth of the matter is, sustaining a model where marriage is the font from which all fulfillment flows is simply unrealistic. Maybe if we expect sexual exclusivity from our spouse, we ought to manage our other expectations of him/her (best friend, confidant, etc.) more pragmatically.

I am of the mind that since more than 50% of marriages in this country end in divorce; we must look at the relationship model we are laboring under. Maybe the romantic ideal is simply an illusion. I mean we can’t honestly try to explain away the divorce rate by saying all these couples simply married the wrong people. Know what I mean?

The parameters of a healthy, successful marriage will need to expand and contract with the stresses put upon it; it is after all a living entity. The balance between dependence and independence will constantly shift; so will the power dynamic in the relationship. Carve these things in stone and you will be mark a grave, not milestones on a path to growth.

Good luck

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Catalyst

Hey sex fans,

We got a handful more than a handful of interesting toys to tell you about today, so let’s get at it.

Our first product comes to us from a manufacturer new to our product review effort. We welcome Xmybox.  Don’t ya just love that name?

Here’s Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa with the lowdown.

Dew Drop —— $59.95

Christa
Happy New Year, fellow perverts! I’m beginning my 3rd year with the Dr Dick Review Crew, if you can believe that. I remember back in November 2008 when I got my first assignment, I was like blown away with all the free stuff. Then I realized that I was being offered all the products that no one else wanted to review. I imagined Dr Dick saying; “lets give this to that freak Christa, she’ll love it!”

Hey, I don’t mind, I am a freak and proud of it. Besides, I think us freaks have a shit-load more fun then the rest of you. But I digress.

Now that I’m a long-term reviewer, I’m getting more mainstream stuff to review. That’s fine by me too. Take today’s product, for example. There’s nothing freaky or even kinky about the Dew Drop. It’s basically a vibrating egg made of hard plastic. There are a few interesting features beyond the obvious, like it has it’s own handle. They call a “dropper”, that kind of attaches to the egg, by way of a clear plastic cord. This makes the insertion of the vibrating egg into a pussy (mine or yours) pretty easy. A nice personal lube is required; at least it is for me. And since the Dew Drop is hard plastic, you can use whatever kind of lube you want. I used a silicone-based lube.

Once the egg is deposited in said pussy (mine or yours) you remove the “dropper” leaving the clear plastic cord. It’s exactly like a tampon, only completely different.

And get this; the vibrating egg is operated by a remote control, which is very, very cool. Those tiny watch batteries operate both the egg and the controller and they are included in the package, thank you very much!

The vibration is not going to knock your socks off, but there are 6 vibration patterns and 8 speeds. The controller is easy to handle and operate and is effective from up to 10 yards away.

Of course, once my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex saw the Dew Drop he wanted to try it in his ass. He’s this total ass whore, ya know. But I refused. Not that I don’t think his hungry hole couldn’t accommodate the modestly sized egg, on the contrary. It’s that I didn’t trust the clear plastic cord or its connection to the egg to withstand pulling the egg out of his ass. This is regrettable! Because I would have had a load of fun remotely operating the vibration while it was lodged in his ass and we were at the Homo Depot! Maybe the Xmybox folks could work on a model that didn’t have such a flimsy connection.
Full Review HERE!

Now a couple of swell toys from our favorite retailer — Adult Sex Toys .com.

Nexus O —— $73.92

Kevin
I’m starting off the new year with an excellent toy. Allow me to introduce you to the brilliant O from Nexus.

But before I get to the review I have a bone to pick. The package says that the O a male G-spot massager. I have a big problem with that. I assume the Nexus people are trying to educate the public about the male prostate, or P-spot, but likening it to a G-spot, I think, only muddies the waters. To tell you the truth, I don’t much like the term P-spot either. It’s so adolescent.

Listen folks, men have prostates. Your prostate is a highly erogenous zone, if you’ve discovered yours or not. Stimulating your prostate is not only intensely pleasurable, but it’s also beneficial in terms of prostate health. So if a company like Nexus wants to educate the public about this, I suggest that they quit beating around the bush and call a spade a spade. That’s what I’m going to do.

The Nexus O is an extraordinary prostate massager. It has an amazingly simple design, but it delivers a surprising amount of stimulation. Its velvety feel comes from it being fashioned from 100% high-grade silicone. It has three pleasure points (balls) that arouse the two major pleasure points on a guys anatomy; the prostate and the taint (perineum), and area just behind your nuts. And the unique O design keeps the massage in place.

Having the Nexus O stay in place is essential to its effectiveness, because this is supposed to be a hands-free pleasure device. You can wear it while you’re beatin off, while you’re goin down on your partner, or while you’re fuckin you’re partner. It’s that brilliant.

Regular prostate massage considerably increases my ejaculate. I also find that, if I wear the Nexus O for at least a half hour before Gina and I play together, my erection is stronger and lasts longer. I’m not sure why this is, it I can vouch for the effect.

There are no batteries to worry about; in fact, it’s not actually a vibrator. It’s a massager that works its magic while I sit on it, rock back and forth or just walk around. I can clench my sphincter muscles while I have the Nexus O wedged in my ass, I can also work on my kegels. These are indispensable exercises for any guy who is into his ass. The Nexus O is decidedly low-tech, but it works. Instructions for use are on the inside panel of the package insert.
Full Review HERE!

As you will see, Denise takes me to task for an unintended oversight.

Alumina Pace —— $59.71

Denise
I had to have a little talk with Dr Dick a while back. I noticed that all the cool anal toys, like butt plugs, were being reviewed by only the guys in the Review Crew. “What’s up with that,” I asked. “A lot of us ladies like ass play too.” In his defense, Dr Dick said that he’s an equal opportunity ass-pleaser. And if I wanted to pleasure myself where the sun don’t shine, he had just the thing for me.

As luck would have it, my challenge to the boys only rule, which wasn’t really a rule, came at them most opportune time. It scored me this stunning 100% aeronautic grade aluminum plug, the Alumina Pace, by Tantus.

Tantus is famous for their beautiful silicone toys. We’ve reviewed several of them already. And as much as I love silicone, this aluminum plug is everything I could want.

The Alumina Pace is both stylish and functional. It is not a particularly big insertable; it’s about five inches long and the diameter is 1 1/4″ at its widest point. And it’s actually a doubleheader. You can insert either end!

The aeronautic grade aluminum is, of course, phthalate-free and non-porous. The Alumina Pace can be sterilized, which is important if you wish to share it with someone else. Soap and water is all you need for general cleanup, but you can also toss it in the dishwasher, boil it, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach or peroxide solution. It’s that easy.

The heft of the aluminum is also a plus. This distinguishes this plug from say a silicone plug. The extra weight is really nice. The teardrop shape of the one head and the bulbous shape to the other head both make for easy insertion and comfortable wearing. But both ends provide distinctive sensations.

The Alumina Pace can be both warmed and chilled for added sensations. If you’ve never had an insertable that you can enjoy in this fashion, I highly recommend you give it a try.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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The Self-Sexological Exam

No podcast today; instead there’s this…

The Ballad of Sylvie

Hi, my name is Sylvie. I’m 24 and I’ve been sexually active for three year, but I’ve never had an orgasm…at least not that I know of. I hear my friends talk about their orgasms and I know I should talk to them, but I don’t want them to know. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this complaint over the years, I’d be a wealthy man. Even in this day and age where sexual messages permeate the popular culture, there are still some women who are unversed about orgasms and their own bodies.

However, I almost never hear this from men. Sure, our sexual response cycle is more obvious. When we’re at attention, we’re at attention. I often wonder what the world would be like if men had as hard a time getting off as some women do.…

But let’s begin with dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic.” The idea is that you’re going to be orgasmic one day—you’ve just not accomplished it yet.

And I’m gonna assume a couple of things, even though I think it’s really dangerous to make assumptions in this line of work: 1. You’ve never had an orgasm, because you’d sure as hell know it if ya had. 2. You are sexually active with male partners.

I’m going out on this limb because I absolutely never hear from pre-orgasmic lesbians. And it stands to reason—lesbians tend to be more attuned to their bodies, and they certainly know their way around the bodies of their partners. But I digress.

Orgasms don’t come easily for some women. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are pre-orgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging boner. Women are socialized about sexuality—even nowadays—in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than do women. And, truth be told, men have never needed any permission to get themselves off!

The Ballad of Amy

Case in point: When I was just beginning my practice, a young couple, Joel and Amy, visited me with this very issue. As I’d soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic wand. But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life was immune to his sexual prowess—so he hauled the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy, for her part, squirmed with discomfort. I thought she’d absolutely die as Joel detailed the explicit intimacies of their lovemaking. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while Joel was there, so I told him to take a hike while she and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered: “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 3 or 4. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands—like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware—because they would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body. Finally, at the end of the bath, I should wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in the same manner to that very day. And she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty, her mother took her aside for “The Big Talk.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that came with it added to the “pot and pan” imagery. As to her genitals, her mother said: “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.”

“This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK! Why?”

Poor Amy! She was a tangle of mixed messages. No wonder she was pre-orgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with, “Oh, please don’t!”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We started her with journaling and a self-sexological exam. I instructed Amy to get a hand mirror and a detailed diagram of female genitalia. She was to familiarize herself and make friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a touch-test. Every square inch from her anus to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of herself and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity: red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas; blue being more neutral, and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise first with a dry hand, then a wet hand using a personal lubricant. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do.

And this was to be private time. Joel was not to be invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure; just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel, he could only attend as a guest, NOT a participant. Joel was only to receive the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings, and once the show was over, that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing—this was only to be an exhibition.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work—not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time—but he had to be patient.

When next we were together, Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from pictures she’d drawn and colored that she’d found her clit. Amy was extremely pleased with her “newfound” pussy. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s play would include a vibrator. Amy was to buy the one she wanted, take it home and introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she’d created, she was to throw it into first gear and start making small, lazy circles around the blue areas, working her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wouldn’t take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless.

“Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “I saw stars—the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room. He thought I’d somehow hurt myself. He stood there stunned as I threw myself another screaming me-me.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screaming me-me’s.

And that’s how Amy went from pre-orgasmic to I totally know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm in a matter of a couple of weeks.

The Ballad of Becoming Presently Orgasmic

Now let’s review for you, Sylvie. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm—it’s all about reconnecting with your body.

The more you know about yourself, the better you’re gonna be at slamming yourself a “screamin’ me-me”. Knowing your way around your pussy is also helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partner doesn’t know shit from Shinola about your pussy.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried before without success. This time, thanks to step one, you’ll better know your hot spots. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddling, be sure to spread the sexual energy all over your body—tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever you like—stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

Like Amy, many women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator. I encourage you to experiment with one—or try another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Good luck!

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Plan B

Hey sex fans,

Product Review Friday is back again; and today we have a handful of products from our very good friends at SexToy.com.

Dr Dick Review Crew Members — Ken & Denise, Brad and Angie do the honors. So let’s get right to it.

Bsoft Skyblue Rechargeable Massager —— $55.60

Angie
I could hardly wait to get home after Dr Dick handed off the Bsoft Skyblue Rechargeable Massager to me. As he and I talked about the weather, I kept fiddling with the attractive package in my lap. I have to admit, I was completely distracted. Luckily Dr Dick was kind enough to notice and he sent me on my way.

I set the package on the passenger seat as I drove home. I would catch a glimpse of the image of the Bsoft Skyblue on the package and imagine all the fun I would soon be having.

Once home I opened the tasteful package. I discovered an instruction manual, the lovely Bsoft Skybluewith it’s space-aged design and the recharger nestled in a formed plastic holder inside a black carton. As I gingerly removed the vibe from its resting place I inadvertently pressed the power-on button. It immediately sprang to life. Glory be; the Bsoft Skyblue comes already charged. How delightful and thoughtful!

There are two other buttons on the face of the vibe; one marked + and one marked -. These regulate the multifunction and multispeed. The unit itself is about 6” long, made of a hard plastic, which is phthalates free, hypoallergenic and latex free. So far, so good.

A serious problem arose moments after I took the Bsoft Skyblue from its package. You see, there is a small rubbery plug that covers (or is supposed to cover) the recharge port. And this plug absolutely will not stay in place. I don’t know if this is a design flaw on all the units, or if I’m the only unlucky consumer. Either way, it is very distressing.

I always apply at least some lube to whatever toy I am using on or around my vulva. I will not compromise on that. The fact that this dang plug won’t stay in place gave me pause about using the vibe. If I get lube, during use, or water, during cleanup, in the port it will probably won’t recharge.

I gingerly use the vibe by softly placing it on my vulva. I love the sensations. The vibrations are very strong, which I really like. I would have moved the vibe around more than I did if I used lube, but I didn’t. This is a huge drawback.
Full Review HERE

7 Super Stretch Sleeves —— $16.59

Ken & Denise
Denise: “It must be silly season in toyland.”
Ken: “You can say that again!”
Denise: “What we have here is 7 Super Stretch Sleeves. Six of them are 1.75” long and less than an inch in diameter. The seventh one is just short of 3” in length and only slightly larger in diameter.”
Ken: “They are made of a clear jelly material and each one has a slightly different configuration of bumps, points and nodules.”
Denise: “What are these things for, you might ask. Good question. Originally I thought they were to fit around a dildo shaped vibrator, or the like. The package shows that as an option.”
Ken: “But the package also says that one shouldn’t wear it for longer than 20 minutes. This suggests to me that these sleeves are supposed to be worn on a guy’s cock.”
Denise: “Well I guess that’s true if the said ‘guy’ has a teensy tiny unit. I couldn’t slip them over two of my fingers with ease. And I have slender fingers.”
Full Review HERE

Men’s Pleasure Wand —— $23.52

Brad
Ok, I get what they are trying to do here with the Men’s Pleasure Wand. It’s designed as an anal insertion toy. Of course a woman could also use this, because they have assholes. But I digress.

Anyhow, the Men’s Pleasure Wand is supposed to massage my balls, perineum and prostate; all at the same time. And it does…sort of. But I’m gettin a little ahead of myself.

The Men’s Pleasure Wand is waterproof and comes with a multi-speed controller that is attached to the part that is planted in your ass by a wire. It also has a ring on the base of the vibe that makes it easy to insert and remove. It’s also a very modest size in terms of girth. It’s no bigger than my middle finger. So if you’ve ever fingered your hole; and let’s be honest, you know you have. The Men’s Pleasure Wand will easily slip in your butt. Always remember to use a lot of lube with any kind of ass play, ok?

The package tells me nothing about the materials used in making the Men’s Pleasure Wand. That sucks! There is also a distinct off-gas smell to the toy once you open the package. This tells me that the materials used are of an inferior quality. It probably also means it’s not phthalates free, hypoallergenic or latex free. I happened to have my favorite silicone-based lube handy, so I used that. Didn’t seem to ill-effect the vibe in any way.

I really liked how easy the Men’s Pleasure Wand inserts. I really like the controller, which cycles four speeds. The controller makes it easy to change the vibration in the vibe without having to remove — adjust — then reinsert. The vibration is strongest in my ass, although it’s not all that strong even there. As for the other areas; I couldn’t feel  much vibration on my balls or taint. DISAPPOINTED!
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

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Give it to me straight!

Name: Darren
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Location: Long Beach
I’m a 24-year-old straight male. On my second tour of duty in Iraq, I took some shrapnel in my back on account of an IED. I’ve been in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down, ever since. I come from a very strict religious family so I never was sexually active before the marines. Now I’m back at home, and while my parents are great caregivers, I can’t talk to them about this. I’m afraid that I won’t ever get to have sex, but I want to. What should I do?

Tough break, pup! As if the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan weren’t bad enough, there is all this collateral damage to our brave and valiant service people. Damn. If we, your countrymen, don’t owe ya’ll every possible assistance, accommodation and convenience I don’t know what!

I’ll admit, your family’s religious scruples, coupled with your spinal cord injury, makes for a pretty daunting double whammy. So let’s start with some basics. Lots of people automatically think that a person in a wheelchair can’t have or is uninterested in sex. Your parents probably think this. They probably also believe that sex is only for married people and since you aren’t married and you’re in a chair, there’s no good reason to discuss the matter further. I encourage you not to sink to the lowest common denominator on this.

I suspect that since you still have a healthy interest in sex, and you want to get laid at some point…hopefully real soon. All we have to do is figure out a clever work-around to your current living situation. To that end, I have some questions for you. Are you afforded any private time and space in your parent’s home? Are you are getting some physical therapy at the veteran’s hospital or elsewhere? Are you in a spinal injury support group? Do you have any social outlets, other than the medical related ones? Do you still have some jar-head buddies who could swing by and pick you up and take you out?

The reason I ask all these questions is that, despite your disability, you’re gonna have to forge your own independent life away from, and out of the control of your parents — good people though they are. Many care-providers, despite their best intentions, have a tendency to smother the people they are caring for. Don’t let this happen to you. The only way you will find the fuck you are looking for is if you assert your independence. This move toward independence may have to happen incrementally, but you gotta get started.

Clearly you have access to the interents, or you wouldn’t have been able to contact to me. That’s a good start. The internet tubes is gonna be your best friend for the duration, count on it. Connect with other similarly challenged vets and civilians online. These folks will be a wealth of information for you about how to take the next steps — pardon the pun — toward independent living. If you’re not plugged into an ongoing spinal injury support group, make that happen ASAP. Like I said, these folks will have information and resources that the professionals who attend you do not have, or will not share. If there are any wheelchair fetishists out there, your support group will know about them. And I think you can be pretty certain that there are. You are following me on this, right Darren? Good!

Now, this is where your jar-head buddies will come in handy. Prevail upon them to be your transportation. Parents are good for getting you to and from the hospital and the like, but you don’t want to count on them to get you to a tryst or date, don’t cha know. One thing for certain, when connecting with chicks online or elsewhere you need to be pretty upfront about what you want and need. Remember, you have to compensate for people’s preconceived ideas about sex and disability.

I’ll grant you, this is a fine line to tread — again no pun intended — because you have to be upfront about your desires, but ya gotta do it without being a dickhead about it. You are also at a disadvantage for not having had the opportunity of hone your dating and seduction skills before Iraq. So you’re gonna have to do some remedial work now. In social situations — and you ought to be goin out to places other than hospitals and support groups — project yourself as a sexual being. Put out a sexual vibe. Not all geeky and weird, but as a matter of self-confidence, you’re a marine vet for Christ sake. That should be swagger and bragging rights enough.

And don’t forget, you know something that others may not know. You’re gonna be a freakin’ terror in the sheets, because you gonna be making up for a whole lot of lost time. Make eye contact and smile, be your charming devilish self. Whatever you do, don’t gawk at her tits. They may be pretty as all get out, and the object of your eternal desire, but please, keep a lid on it!

If you are unsure about your skills as a lover or you just need a little tutorial on how to please a woman, my I suggest you connect with a pro — ya know a sex worker. That’s right, it’s a time-honored way for guys in the service to lose their cherry. And you’re still sorta like in the service, right? Nowadays, connecting with just the right provider has never been easier, thanks again to the internets. See, I told you that the internet tubes was gonna be your best friend for the duration. Seriously, I suspect that you have lots to learn about the ins and outs of sex, — my final pun, i promise — so why not see a specialist?

One thing for sure, if you are having a difficult time carving out private time there in your parent’s home, or they are the snooping kind, keep your internet searches on a friend’s computer. You don’t want your parents finding out that you are indeed a sexual being looking to get his freak on. At least you don’t want them to find out till after you’ve established your independence. Because if they pull the plug on your internets before you’re on your own, because they think you are a big fat pervert sexual sinner, you’re gonna be shit out of luck, if ya catch my drift.

Good luck

Name: Mikhall
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: U of M
I’ve been having wet dreams since I was 13. I thought I would get over this by now, but it’s still happening. I’m in college now and I don’t want my roommate to think I’m some kind of freak. Is there anyway to make this stop?

I remember when I was a kid, I couldn’t have been more that 6 or 7, I overheard my older brother telling his friend he had had a wet dream. I couldn’t wrap my head around what he was saying. He was boasting, of course, and it had something to do with sex, that I knew for sure. But why was he so proud of wetting his bed? I was way to self-conscious to ask him about it, so I let my mind just spin out all these fantastic scenarios and boy, were they fantastic. My brother was really cool, so I was hoped I would have a wet dream one day too, but I was also dreading it all the same. Information about sex, when it comes in dribs and drabs like this, can really be confusing.

I finally had my first wet dream a few years later and I was surprised as hell to wake up with sticky wet sheets and PJs. Interestingly enough, I didn’t make the connection between what had just happened to me and what my brother had been talking about a couple of years earlier. So ok, I wasn’t all that swift when I was a kid. But just look at me now!

As I look back, I can’t honestly tell you how I figured the whole thing out. I did, however, discover that wet dreams had a more ominous technical name: a nocturnal emission. That was scary in and of itself.

So ok, here’s what we know about wet dreams. And you can bank in this info. When a guy begins puberty, somewhere between the ages of 9 and 13, he starts to produce sperm. Once that happens he’s able to ejaculate, even though he may not have discovered this on his own, ya know like through jerkin’ off. It is at this point that most guys experience their first wet dreams. While asleep our little boy cock rubs against the mattress or sheets, or we may unconsciously fondle ourselves till we squirt. Since this often happens while dreaming, or because of a dream with sexual overtones, a nocturnal emission is also call a sex dream, or the ever popular dirty dream.

Here’s something you might not know. Technically there is a difference between a nocturnal orgasm (which anyone can have at any age, even as and infant) and a nocturnal emission (which only males have and only after he reaches puberty).

I know you’re a bit exasperated, Mikhall, with the continuation of these pesky wet dreams, but it’s all quite normal and I might add, healthy. You clearly have a very active spooge production system. You’re body is producing an over abundance of spunk, more than you need. And it has to get rid of the excess somehow. Believe me, you really wouldn’t want it stay in your system; it wouldn’t be healthy. Embarrassment aside, you can be grateful that your bod is working properly and in harmony with nature.

Do you recall your first wet dream? Most guys tell me that they thought they had injured themselves, or they somehow got a sex disease. Too bad our parents don’t prepare us for this eventful night. Many kids are so filled with fear and embarrassment that they try to destroy the evidence — getting rid of the sheets, underwear or pajamas. Another confusing aspect of a kid’s first wet dream is the pleasure and arousal he feels. Those of us brought up in religious homes are often filled with shame by this disturbing occurrence.

Those of you who are familiar with Dr Dick’s background know that I was a Catholic priest for many years. I know, scary, huh? I don’t want to go off topic here and discuss my life as a priest now — we can save that for another time. What I want to point out here is that when I was in the saddle, so to speak, I often had the occasion to hear the confessions of young people. It was remarkable how often young men would confess to a wet dream, like if they had committed some heinous crime! What gives with a culture that instills such shame about things that are so natural and outside of our control?

Think of it this way, when your bladder gets full you take a wiz. When your prostate and seminal vesicles get full you take a jizz. It’s as simple and natural as all that. Now, if I were to guess, Mikhall, I’d speculate that, for whatever reason, you’re not masturbating all that much. Right? The reason I think that is, if you were relieving yourself of your joy juice, ya know like beatin’ off, you’d have less of a build up and fewer wet dreams, if any. Do you see where I’m headed with this? The same thing would be true if you didn’t relieve yourself when your bladder got full, you’d piss anyhow, only it would happen when you weren’t able to properly direct it. Get it? Got it? Good!

If you want to cut down on those embarrassing wet dreams, milk yourself before you sleep. This way you can direct your spooge into a proper receptacle, like a Kleenex or a dirty sock — just like all your peers.

I also want to remind you of the current research being done about masturbation. Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 men who had not, about their sexual habits. They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop prostate cancer.

The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20’s. Get this, men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

Good luck!

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Big Fat Q&A Show — Podcast #207 — 05/24/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

We take a bit of a break from The Erotic Mind podcast series today to attend to the unsightly buildup in both my voicemail and email in-boxes. And you know there’s nothing more embarrassing that unsightly buildup in your box, huh?

  • Josh shoots meth in his dick. But there’s been an accident.
  • Jen has a BF that can’t get her off.
  • Brandi has been going along for the ride for 10 years!
  • Coral is starving to death…sexually.
  • Billy is in the throws of andropause and he’s clueless.
  • Betty’s vibrator broke…inside her!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Moist, Damp, WET!

We’re back with yet another Product Review Friday and it’s an all lube day, thank you very much! Yes siree folks, these slip-sliddin review products came to us by way of our friends at Wet.

We have a selection of 4 of the best selling Wet products to tell you about today. Dr Dick Review Crew members — Christa, Carlos, Joy & Dixie and Mick & Chuck, have the lowdown.

Wet Platinum Bodyglide —— $12.03

Christa
I’m just a teensy bit of a lube fanatic. There I said it! The reason I’m like this is I learned about four years ago that my mother had to suffer through sex with my father for years, because neither one of them knew anything about personal lubricants. That just makes me so angry. My mother’s whole life would have been different had there been lube available to her. She probably would have enjoyed sex instead of experiencing it as a painful troublesome chore.

I sometimes wonder how many other women, even nowadays, have no information or access to a good personal lubricant. You know what I think? I think there should be some kind of foundation or nonprofit organization that has as its mission the education and dispensing lube wherever women gather. Imagine how transformational that would be.

Ok, I’ll get off my soapbox now. I’m just glad that I live in this day and age. I can hardly imagine my sex life with out lube. So I’m always up for trying a new product. And Wet Platinum Bodyglide made my day.

Silicone based lubes are my favorite for just about every kind of sex, except, that is, for use with my silicone toys. Silicone based lubes last longer than water-based lubricants and they are also water resistant. Wet Platinum Bodyglide keeps everything slippery with just few drops, so this product will last and last. This is the ideal lube for ass play and it’s latex compatible (use a condom!). My little sub ass whore of a BF really loves Wet Platinum Bodyglide too. And if he gets off on it, you know it’s good. He’s like the total ass play lube connoisseur.

Wet Platinum Bodyglide has a slightly thinner consistency than some of the other premium lube brands I’ve tried, but that hasn’t been an issue for me or the BF. It certainly is less expensive than a lot of the other premium brands, so there’s that. And there is no discernible taste or smell, which is a very good thing in my book.

Ya know what I liked? I really liked the bottle design. I know that doesn’t sound like an important thing, but it is. The Wet Platinum Bodyglide bottle has a notch in the side that makes holding on to it, even with lubed-up fingers very easy. Now that’s being thoughtful in the design department, if you ask me. Other lube bottles are smooth and cylindrical and they just slip through one’s fingers. And that can and often does make spilling the lube a problem.
Full Review HERE
Wet Original Classic —— $9.11

Carlos
I was given a 3.5oz container of Wet Original Classic to use for my review. It’s nice that I got as much as I did. I hate trying to review a lube product with only a tiny sample packet.

The 3.5 oz container provided me more then enough lube for several play events, both by myself and with my wife. The beautiful thing about water based lubes, like Wet Original, is that it’s non-greasy. And that makes clean up a breeze. And it will never stain clothing, furniture or sheets. I love that!

Wet Original is actually a moisturizing gel, so it has a thicker consistency than some other water based lubes I’ve tried. I like that too, a lot.

It comes in a handy flip-top plastic bottle. It has a textured notch on its side that makes holding on to the bottle and opening and closing it effortless even with slippery hands and fingers.

I’m often frustrated by water based lubes because they tend to dry out pretty fast. But Wet Original is surprising long-lasting. I actually had to reread the label to make sure it was water based. That was kind of funny.

You can use Wet Original with all your favorite toys too, especially silicone and cyberskin toys.
Full Review HERE

Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare —— $9.11

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare is about the best lube I have ever used. I love this stuff.”
Joy: “I totally second that! Before we tried Beautifully Bare you would have had a very hard time convincing me that a water-based lube could be this amazing. I can’t sing its praises enough.”
Dixie: “Its hypo-allergenic formula is free of the additives that one commonly finds in lube, like glycerin and parabens. And trust me, finding a high quality lube that doesn’t contain a lot of dubious chemicals isn’t easy. That’s why Joy and I are so stoked about Beautifully Bare. Everyone, but especially women; even those of us with very sensitive skin can now play worry-free.”
Joy: “Beautifully Bare is enriched with vitamins and botanicals that make this lube a safe supplement to my own wetness. It absorbs easily into my skin; there is no residue or stickiness.”
Dixie: “It comes in a flip-top plastic bottle that is easy to open and close. And there is an easy-grip notch on the side of the bottle that makes it easy to handle even with lubed up fingers. I thought that was a very thoughtful design.”
Joy: “Because Beautifully Bare is water-based there’s a no hassle clean up. It won’t stain or discolor clothing or bedding and it is tasteless and odorless. I am so impressed with this stuff.”
Dixie: “And all of this at a bargain basement price!”
Joy: “Beautifully Bare is ideal for jilling-off, it’s condom compatible and is great with all my toys.”
Dixie: “It may not last as long as our favorite silicone-based lube, but most of the time, when I’m enjoying myself by myself, I don’t need that kind of staying power.”
Full Review HERE

Wet Oil Base —— $9.26

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “For review purposes, we received a 3.8oz plastic bottle of Wet Oil Base body glide lube. Just so you know, this is the first oil-based lube we’ve ever tried.”
Chuck: “This stuff rocks for jerkin off. I mean, we didn’t know what we were missing till Mick and I landed this Wet Oil Base for review.”
Mick: “Chuck and I sometimes have marathon edging sessions. We slip on our favorite cockring, pop in a hot porn DVD or two and stroke ourselves silly.”
Mick: “My dick used to get sore when all we had was water-based lube for these events. And there was the endless adding lube when the water-based stuff dried out, which it does very easily.”
Chuck: “So true. But Wet Oil Base is different, because it lasts and lasts. What a difference an oil-based formula makes!”
Mick: “You’ll want to be careful not to get this stuff on furniture. It’s a bitch to clean up. So when we’re havin one of our pullin our pud contests; we just put down some towels and let it rip!”
Chuck: “And just so you know; Wet Oil Base is not recommended for use with latex condoms.”
Mick: “And ya know my skin feels so soft and smooth after using this stuff. I guess it contains a bunch of moisturizers and whatnot.”
Chuck: “It’s odorless and colorless and it’s intended for external use only. So keep that in mind.”
Mick: “We think every guy should have a stash of Wet Oil Base for those times when only a little stroke session will do.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

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Product Giveaway #1

Holy cow, sex fans!

Have I got news for you! Today we launch a brand new feature here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice. Our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com are teaming up with us to offer a bi-weekly giveaway of some of the hottest sex toys and adult toys on the market. How fun is that?

This week we’re offering a lucky visitor a FREE

Stroker Xl by Tantus.

We reviewed the Stroker Xl just last week. Find the full review HERE!

Here are today’s rules —

Be the 1st person to email me with the correct answers to the following questions:

On Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 I interviewed a famous porn star for my Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast series.

WHO IS THE PORN STAR?  AND  WHAT PORN COMPANY DOES HE WORK FOR?

Send your answers to dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com.

Be sure to include GIVEAWAY #1 in the subject line.


The winner will be discreetly announced in this space next week. And he/she will receive a confirmation email from me.

Thanks to Adult Sex Toys .com for their generous contribution.

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Battle Of The Strokers

Holy cow sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we have something truly unique for you today. In honor of NATIONAL MASTURBATION MONTH, which everyone knows starts tomorrow, 05/01/10; we bring you our first annual stroke-off.

That’s right people; three of The Dr Dick Review Crew’s most able-bodied men — Jack, Kevin and Hank volunteered to bust a nut while using one of the three new masturbators we got from our new friends at Adult Sex Toys .com.

To paraphrase the old saying: To the Victor Goes The Spooge!

Sue Johanson Head Honcho —— $13.97

Jack
I’m up first today with the Head Honcho, a sex toy endorsed by sex educator and host of television’s Sex Talk With Sue Johanson.  This thing is supposed to mimic a blowjob. Well, I’ve had my share of hummers and the Head Honcho doesn’t come close to a blowjob.

One thing I want to point out from the start. The Adult Sex Toys .com says that the Head Honcho is made of silicone. But it is not silicone. That’s gotta be a typo, because it is really made of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), or so says the packaging. Actually, when I first pulled it out of the box I thought for sure it was jelly latex. Hey, maybe there’s no difference between the two.

At any rate, this mystery material surely contain latex and phthalates; I looked it up online. And for me phthalates are a no no. That’s strike 1! It has a cloying chemical smell, which also kinda smells like cherry Kool-Aid. Ick!  Dr Dick calls off gas.  This was a boner killer let me tell ya. This is strike 2.

I decided to wash it to rid it of some of the smell. The bath helped, but then the Head Honcho got all sticky. I tried to dry it off with a towel, but that made matters worse. It got all linty and gross. This was strike 3. I was about to skip the whole damn thing when I called Dr Dick for advice. He told me to let it completely air dry then dust it with body powder or cornstarch. This was supposed to cut down on the stickiness. This intervention sorta saved the day.

With all that prep work behind me I finally settled down to some hot porn, some nice water based lube and the considerably less tacky Head Honcho. Because the masturbator is so soft and floppy, it was hard to plug my cock into the mouth-shaped aperture in the front of the toy. Besides that, the hole isn’t very big and I’m pretty hung, so there’s that. Strike 4!

Once I finally got it on my cock I could feel the suction chambers in the neck of the toy. That was kinda cool. But again something happened that killed my boner. There is no bottom or closed base to this thing. And before I knew it the lube I used in the Head Honcho to pave the way for my cock began to dribble out the base. Ok, so that was my fault, not the fault of the toy. But damn, that sure as hell wrecked the moment.

I did finally finish myself off this one time with the Head Honcho. It was a pretty ok nut.  But considering the work I had to do just to squeeze one out, it hardly seems worth the effort.
Full Review HERE

COLT Power Stroker —— $16.02

Kevin
The masturbator I got is called the COLT Power Stroker. It’s a pint-sized thing that looks like a hand grenade. I’m serious! I mean what marketing genius came up with this concept? I just shook my head in disbelief.

Ok, I won’t hold the shape against it. To each his own, right? But I think I do have a legitimate quarrel with the size. It’s so small! It’s not even 5” tall. I’m not hung like a horse or anything, but common on! This means the only part of your dick that will get massaged with this thing is the tip.

The grenade shape does have one advantage; it’s easy to hold on to. The ridges on the shaft and the notch at the base make for a firm grip even with lubed hands.

The packaging says the Power Stroker is super tight, yet stretchy. Both of those claims are true, especially the super tight claim. Like I said, I have a normal sized dick, but the Power Stroker was difficult for me to invade…to continue the war metaphor.

The packaging also says that the Power Stroker is made of a NEW Futurotic Material. WHAT? Another marking ploy, I guess. I actually took the time to look this up online. Apparently this material contains latex and phthalates. Let’s face it; you can’t have something this soft and squishy without phthalates. So if you can’t do with out soft and squishy, then live with the consequences. But you should know that phthalates are a potential hazard to your reproductive health.

The Power Stroker didn’t have much of a chemical smell. It also came with it’s own little container of powder to dust it with after cleaning. This is a very thoughtful addition. Because if you don’t dust it with powder after cleaning the NEW Futurotic Material gets really tacky and can actually start to break down. This gets me to another point; don’t store this, or any jelly latex toy near another such toy. There will be a chemical reaction that will melt them both. Scary stuff, right?
Full Review HERE

Stroker Xl —— $34.96

Hank
I came away with what I think is the ideal masturbation sleeve. Here is the Stroker Xl, which is made of 100% silicone. There’s no topping that for quality, durability and ease of care.

The silicone in the Stroker Xl is much softer and more supple than I expected. In fact, is so flexible that you can turn it inside out with ease. The outside of the sleeve is smooth; yet, I had no problem getting grip on it even with slightly lubed up hands. The inside has numerous waves, which provide a really nice massaging action on my cock. I really like the fact that the opening (and you can use either end) is wide enough to accommodate my big wiener. If I have to struggle to insert my cock into something, especially a toy; forgetaboutit!

The Stroker Xl is an opaque white color. There’s nothing fussy about it and it doesn’t have that faux flesh feeling to it. And that’s because silicone doesn’t contain harmful Phthalates that would make other materials soft and squishy.  And you know Phthalates can be harmful to your health, right?

I had a ball bustin my nut with the Stroker Xl. I grabbed me some water-based lube and slathered it all over my johnson. I was able to pierce the sleeve with ease, yet there was enough friction for some mighty fine pleasure. One drawback is that the sleeve is open at both ends. This doesn’t allow for a vacuum effect that a lot of the other masturbators I’ve tried create. I mean it’s no big thing, because depending on the strength of my grip, I can do a lot of the same thing with just my hand.

It’s kind of a short sleeve, just sort of 6”. That’s not a problem, because I liked seeing my dickhead come out the top with each stroke. After my first very successful stroke session I had two more in the next 36 hours. I plan on keeping the Stroker Xl handy for those “I really need to get off right now” moments. I seem to have a lot of those.

Again, clean up is a snap. Warm soapy water does the trick. It air dries easy enough too. And there is no tacky, sticky effects that happens with those squishy sleeves. In fact, you can even sterilize the Stroker Xl by boiling it; running it through the dishwasher; or wiping it down with a 10% bleach or peroxide solution.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

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Batter UP

It’s Product Review Friday! Today, we’re gonna do some winding up before we pitch. That is we wind up our first installment of products from SexToy.com. today. We also conclude the Elbow Grease reviews that we started back in February. See them HERE.

Today’s Review Crew Members: Mick & Chuck and Ken & Denise.

Parachute Ball Stretcher —— $15.84

3 Snap Pyramid Studded Cock Strap —— $7.70

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “We have two great fun toys to tell you about. There’s a Ball Stretcher and a Cock Strap.”
Chuck: “You can use these together or separately. But we want to talk about them one at a time.”
Mick: “First up let’s take a look at this fine Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s the perfect cock and ball accessory and it’s functional too. Cockrings or, in this case, a strap are the first line of defense for erections. I think if more men knew about and used one of these devices there’d be less need for ED meds, like Viagra.”
Chuck: “Mick and I have a big collection of rings and straps between us. We both love the way they strengthen our erections. I’m partial to the strap kind of device, like this Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s easily adjusted for whatever kind of look I’m going for. Say I want a nice hard cock to pound some hot ass. I simply tighten the strap till it’s snug. But if I want to use it as jewelry to dress up my junk like for walkin around a sex club or a play party; well there’s nothing better than a studded cock strap. It beautifully frames your cock and balls.  It has three snaps so it adjusts from 1.75 to 3 inches in diameter.”
Mick: “The black leather and studs are hot! Ya know, I’m seeing more and more younger guys using a strap like the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap on their wrist these days. Is it a fashion statement, or is it just that they want to be prepared for the unexpected hookup that could occur at any time?”
Chuck: “Either way, the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap is great. One thing you should know, however, is that ya gotta keep the strap clean if you want it to look its best and last. Wipe it down with a cloth dampened with warm soapy water and let it dry fully. Oil based lubes will take a toll on the leather if not cared for properly.”
Mick: “Good point!
Now let’s move on to the Parachute Ball Stretcher. Chuck has a set of beautiful low hanging balls. I dig this look a lot. I, on the other hand, was not so blessed. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have what I admire. All I have to do is work on it and they will be mine.”
Chuck: “That’s where the Parachute Ball Stretcher comes in. Ya strap the black leather parachute thingy on to your ball sack snug up against your cock. This allows the chains suspended from it to hang free. And this is where things get interesting. With the Parachute Ball Stretcher in place, you can add weights to it; ya know for stretching your nut sack.  No weights come with this package, but it’s not too difficult to find even makeshift weights around the house; and then there’s always the hardware store. There’s a O-ring on the end of the chains that make attaching the weights a snap.”
Mick: “If you’ve never tried ball stretching you’re in for a treat. It is very erotic and it actually works to add some length to how your jewels hang. I get off on this thing big time. The leather parachute is comfortable to wear for extended periods of time. My only caution to you is that you start out slow. Don’t go piling on the weights till you know what you’re doing.”
Full Review HERE

For review purposes, our friends at Elbow Grease sent us a 1 oz container of each of their products —
ELBOW GREASE Hot Light —— $4.75

ELBOW GREASE Original —— $4.75

Ken & Denise
Denise: “Finding just the right lube for anal can be a challenge. We’ve tried several; some work better than others. But for my money, (Actually, the review sample we got was free, but you get the idea.) ELBOW GREASE Original is the best. It’s thick and creamy and it lasts and lasts. It’s the most long lasting lube we’ve tried.”

Ken: “Curiously enough, we’d never tried ELBOW GREASE Original before, because we had never heard of it before. We were talking to some gay friends about this very thing and they couldn’t believe their ears. ‘You’ve never hear of Elbow Grease? That’s impossible. It’s been around for like fucking ever.’”
Denise: “Who Knew? I think it’s a gay thing!”
Ken: “Yeah, maybe that’s it. Anyhow, ELBOW GREASE Original really stands up to whatever you throw its way. A small amount is all we really needed for some big time ass play. Denise loves her toys!”
Denise: “You have to remember that ELBOW GREASE Original is an oil-based lube and it’s not for use with latex condoms. But if you and your playmate don’t have to worry about stuff like that, then have yourself a ball…or two.”
Ken: “This shit is great for those marathon jerkoff sessions us men really love. Well, I do anyhow. Listen, if it can stand up to intense ass play, you know for certain that it will serve you and your palm very well.
Speaking of the hot set up for pullin your pud, try yourself some ELBOW GREASE Hot Light. It’s kinda like the original formula, but it has menthol that heats things up pretty nice. Ya rub it in and in a matter of moments things are warming up in more ways than one. It’s the kind of warmth that you’d experience if you were rubbing skin on skin without any lube. It’s a real treat.”

Denise: “I really got off on this stuff too when I played with myself one afternoon. The warming sensation is not in anyway over the top; as I feared it might be. It’s warm, not burny. I have pretty sensitive skin, so at first I was a little leery of using it internally. But there were no adverse effects, I’m happy to report.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Posted on

Some assembly required!

Hi Dr Dick,
Happy (belated) New Year! I have two questions for you:
1. I am taking a long time to cum when I’m given a blowjob or hand job and eventually I need to stroke off on my own (for a pretty long time as well). However, I cum pretty quickly when I masturbate while watching porn. Am I masturbating to porn too much? I have also masturbated to porn for years before I started having sex recently (I’m not sure whether this could be a reason as well).
2. You mention that we shouldn’t use soup while cleaning our anus. Why is that so? I just read about douching but I have been cleaning my anus with warm water, soap, and finger. Is that ok?
Thanks in advance!  — Ken

Can’t hardly say if you are masturbating to porn too much.  I mean, what is too much anyway?  And since you don’t go into detail; I’ll let that issue rest.

What I can tell you is that partnered sex, regardless of the activity (blowjobs, hand jobs or full-on fucking) is a whole lot different than solo sex (with or without porn).  I can also assure you that your body has become sensitized to your particular grip and stroke over the years of you pullin your own pud.  Another person’s grip and stroke (pussy or asshole) will rarely satisfy in the same efficient manner.  This is not a bad thing, necessarily, but you do have to keep that in mind.  And perhaps your sexual response will change with time as you enjoy more and varied partnered sex.

In terms of you taking too long (whatever that means) to cum when you are with a partner, maybe you need to quit trying so hard to get off and lay back and enjoy the sensations you’re getting from your partner.  And here’s a tip; use your biggest sex organ, your brain, to replay some of that hot porn action in your head while you are gettin head.  That will surely hasten things along, if ya know what I mean.

In terms of your next question about keeping your hole clean; you may have misunderstood previous comments I’ve made about anal douching.  Soap and water is the preferred method of keeping the outside of your ass clean.  And while you’re scrubbin’ your crack, you could use your fingertip to clean out your rosebud.  But don’t force soap beyond your sphincter.  You have delicate membranes in your rectum that will be irritated by the soap, even a mild soap.

If you need to douche, I suggest a solution of a few drops of lemon juice in warm water.   Some men prefer the convenience of a shower bidet.

Name: Mike P
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Los Angeles
My girlfriend needs to watch lesbian porn to get off and sometimes kicks me out of the bedroom to masturbate by herself.  Initially I was turned on by her desire to watch porn — but now — it’s become a blockage.  She always needs porn.  I am frustrated and to make things worse — she has started abusing me through financial manipulation. I have to pay her rent — pay for her food, pay everything — and she never gives me nookie.
Should I leave this woman?

Time to wake up, fella!  Your “girlfriend” — and I use that term very loosely — is decidedly not YOUR girlfriend, and possibly not any man’s girlfriend.  I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say; I think your “girlfriend” is a certifiable, died-in-the wool, muff-divin’, coochie-lovin’ lesbiterian.  All that remains for her to do, to make the picture perfectly clear…even for you, is to show up one day in a mullet and a flannel shirt.  Holy cow, Mike, how is it that you are missing the obvious?

Listen, bub, you’re excess baggage.  Your “friend” keeps you around for comic relief…oh and to foot the bill.

Should you leave this woman; you ask.  Honey, she’s beaten you to the punch on that one.  She’s long gone and done left you way behind, at least emotionally and sexually.  All you need to do is find the door, say good-bye to this sorry situation and make a hasty exit.

Name: Michelle
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Location: Canada
Tips to help when the man you’re sleeping with has a small penis.

Tips?  No pun intended, I hope.

Ok, here goes — Tip #1, grin and bear it.  Tip #2, find a guy with more pork.  Tip #3, get a dildo.  Tip #4, find a sexual position, like doggie style, that will make the most of every little bit of pecker the poor guy’s got.  Tip #5, remember it ain’t always da meat, but it is always da motion.

Ok, seriously I do have a couple of suggestions beyond the flippant ones I just mentioned.  For example, Tip #3 still stands.  Find yourself a dildo, one that your partner can wield when he’s around.  If you introduce the concept in a positive way, you may find that Mr. Mini-meat will go for it big time.  You see, most guys with small endowments already know they may have a problem satisfying some women (or men for that matter).  But most guys, regardless of cock size, are always interested in pleasuring their partner, even when it’s not with their own magic wand.

May I suggest that you check out the swell array of dildos available at Dr Dick’s Stockroom?  You’ll find a link to this treasure trove on the top of this page.  Hey, you may even want to shop online together.  You may be surprised at the one your guy picks out for you.

While you lovebirds are checking out the dildo section at Dr Dick’s Stockroom, take a moment to search for a Cyberskin Penis Extension.

You’re gonna love this.  The new Cyberskin line of products represents a significant advance in pecker extensions that feel like the real thing. The rubber on the surface of this extension feels hauntingly like human skin. But the inside part of the (1.5″ or 3″) extension is much firmer.  It is soft and supple on the surface, but hard and rigid inside.  Mmmm, hard and rigid!

Visually, the shape, texture, and coloration of these extensions are designed to create a realistic effect as well.  They look realistic and they feel realistic.

There’s a trick to putting on one of these puppies, don’t ‘cha know.  You roll up the sleeve until it’s all the way up around the extension. Then place it against the head of your guy’s stiff dick.  Roll the bugger down snugly around his unit, sealing his peanut inside the sleeve.  A partial seal will form, helping keep the extension on during the fuck-fest.

Wearing this extension will add both length and thickness to his precious willie. It will of course reduce the sensation in his cock, but that’s not always bad thing.  Guys with a short fuse may find the decrease in stimulation an aid to controlling his ejaculation, while he’s giving more and longer pleasure to his partner.  And a lot of guys love the feeling of having their cock sealed inside the rubbery sleeve.  Mmmm, sealed inside rubbery sleeve!

Name: Jack
Gender: Male
Age: 42
Location: Milwaukee
I’ve been dating this guy for over a year.  He is the love of my life.  I love him so much, but he treats me like shit.  I met him on vacation in Florida.  He’s 26 a stunning, 6’3” 200lbs, blond surfer Adonis.  And excuse me for being so graphic; he has the biggest dick I’d ever seen.  The first time we had sex I saw stars.  He filled me up like no other person has.
When I got home we exchanged emails nearly every day and even had some hot phone sex a couple of times.  He was down on his luck, because he lost his barista job for coming to work stoned too many times.  I know I shouldn’t have, but I invited him to come live with me.  I flew him up, but I told him that this wouldn’t be a free ride, he’d have to stop smoking so much dope and get a job and he agreed.
The sex was fantastic for the first couple of months, but once he established himself as a star at the gym he found his own friends and now I don’t see too much of him.  He eats my food and drinks my liquor and drives my car.  I pay for his cloths and gym membership.  He has yet to find a job.
I know I should just end it, but I love him and I would really miss the sex.  My friends ridicule me for thinking he loves me as much as I love him.  They tell me they know he sees other guys.  I’m so turned around I don’t know what to do.

Like my momma always used to say:  if it’s got wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have problems with it.  And I would add, if it’s got big wheels or a big dick you know you’re gonna have BIG problems with it.

Before we turn our attention to your no good boyfriend, let me make a few quick observations about you.  You’re a freakin’ mess, girlfriend! I mean really, you’ve broken all the cardinal rules about dating a hustler.  I know, I can hear you now…oh no Dr Dick, he’s not a hustler; he’s a good kid who’s just down on his luck and I’m just trying to help.  Bullshit!

Ya see, that’s the first cardinal rule of dating a hustler is never lose sight of the fact that he’s a hustler and you’re his john.  Don’t get me wrong; I have the deepest admiration for hustlers and their johns.  It’s just that this arrangement only works if everyone is clear about the ground rules.   And here are the ground rules — rich older gentleman connects with needy younger hunky stud for mutual benefit.  Rich older gentleman keeps needy younger hunky stud in room and board, booze, cloths, car, gym membership and the like; and needy younger hunky stud buggers rich older gentleman senseless with his big blond surfer-boy dick.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!

Second cardinal rule — what happens on vacation should stay on vacation.  Vacation sex, as wonderful and delicious as it may be, does not transplant very well to your non-vacation life.  You’re more likely to have success transplanting a delicate tropical orchid to your Milwaukee backyard than transplanting a vacation hustler fuck to your work-a-day world back home.

Third cardinal rule —don’t try to gloss a perfectly fine, fully functional and even an affectionate hustler/john relationship with talk of love.  It’s unnecessary, unseemly and untrue.  It’s lust, it’s limerence, it’s love sickness, whatever…it’s just not love.  Because LOVE don’t ever make you feel as bad as you’re feelin’.  Probably your friends would have less difficulty with your mooning over this guy if you were more honest about the nature of this relationship.  They wouldn’t be rubbing your face in the evidence that surfer-boy is pluggin’ other dudes.

Fourth cardinal rule — a size queen, like you Jack, should admit that you are enamored with the guy hose and how it fills you up plain and simple.  To pretend that you would string yourself out like this for a guy with tiny meat is just that — pretense.  Listen, there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ a size queen, it’s the dishonesty I object to.

How is this young fella ever supposed to respect you when you don’t respect for yourself?  He probably had you pegged (no pun intended) back on the beach in the sunshine state. He knows you will tolerate his misbehavior, which of course gives him permission to do whatever he feels like doing whenever he feel like doing it.  And now he don’t even have to give up the occasional mercy fuck any more, even though that was surely part of the deal at the get go, right?

So the waif has yet to find a job after a year, huh?  Why is that not surprising?  But even a hustler needs his mad money, besides what is doled out to him by his long-suffering john.  I’d be willing to guess Mr. surfer dude is turning tricks to keep himself in weed and other essentials.

Thing is, this fellow probably would have treated you better if you would have just stuck to the hustler/john script.  Ya see, kids like this need structure.  He may have looked to you for this at one time, but when he realized that he had you cock-whipped, the teachable moment evaporated.  This lad is probably like most other boys with big dicks.  They learn early on that their cock gives them enormous power, because it is the object of desire for so many.  He soon discovered that you were no different than all the other men (and some women) in his life — only interested in owning a piece of his sizeable endowment.  And so he turned the tables on you.  You can hardly fault the guy.  You try to manipulate him with your money.  He outwits you and manipulates you with his johnson.

If you’re really serious about reining in the little monkey, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate.  And it better be something more than “I expect you to bone my scrawny middle-aged ass on occasion.” Because, until you do, he will roam wherever and whenever he wants.

There are many root causes for his behavior, just like there are many root causes for your behavior.  But since I’m talking to you, not him, I suggest that you get to the bottom of all of this by investing a good deal of time and energy with a competent sex-positive therapist. There’s one thing I can say for certain, if the status quo continues your resentment will boil over one day and there will be violence, the kind of violence that you may not think yourself capable of now.  But violence there will be; you can bank on it!

Is there enough goodwill between the two of you to resolve this unfortunate situation amicably?  Who knows!  If I had to guess, I’d say there was a slim to no chance for that.  If that’s the case, I advise you pack him up and put him on the next plane south.  And no more relationships for you, particularly with unemployed young men with massive schlongs, till you get your head screwed on tighter.

Good Luck ya’ll

Posted on

Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday; it’s Week 5 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we’re doin a special Toys for Boys thing today.  Next Friday, our last installment of in this series, will feature some swell Toys for Gals.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Carlos, Ken and your truly, Dr Dick.

All guys jerk off; even (or especially) guys who say they don’t jerk off, jerk off.  Now that we’ve put that behind us we can get on with today toy selection, because it has a theme — masturbation sleeves.

First up is another product from the good folks at Vibratex and Carlos has the lowdown.

Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve —— $14.43

Carlos
I love to masturbate; I’ve been doing it since I was 11.  I love to masturbate with my wife; I like to masturbate with other men.  It’s about as safe a sex as you can have short of having no sex at all.

I’m pretty much a manual masturbator.  I never saw the need to improve on my hands for pleasuring myself.  But the thing about being a Review Crew member, we get exposed to all kinds of products we wouldn’t otherwise know about.  Take for instance the Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve.  I would have never guessed that I could enjoy masturbating even more than I used to by using a masturbation aid, like a sleeve.

The Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve is a simple enough product.  It’s made of 100% Elastomer, which allows me to use any type of lube you want to.  I’m partial to silicone lube, because it doesn’t break down like water-based lubes do during a long masturbation sessions.  And since I don’t have to worry about using a condom when I’m having sex with myself, silicone-based lube works best for me.

When you see the Sidekick in its package you’re actually seeing the inside of the thing.  It’s VSI1turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it.  Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.

The hole you insert you penis in is a decent size, so you don’t have to struggle inserting it.  And since you’ll be adjusting the pressure around your penis with your hand, it’s pretty perfect.  So I lubed up and slipped the Sidekick over the head of my penis.  I’m uncut, so slipping it on also retracted my foreskin.  Honestly, I was really surprised by the feel of the nubs on my penis, particularly the head.  It was so strange to have that kind of sensation on my cock.  But once I got used to the sensation, I was thinking; man, this is great.

The other end of the Sidekick is closed.  That means as you stroke this up and down your penis you actually create a bit of a vacuum, which is also very nice.  Besides the up and down movement you can also rotate the Sidekick around your penis.  This creates a completely unique sensation, which almost tickles.  I loved it!

There are two minor drawbacks, if you can call them that.  Once the Sidekick is turned right-side out (the nubs are now on the inside where they belong) the outside has no texture at all.  This creates a bit of a problem with lubed up hands.  I found that it was sometimes difficult to get a good grip on the thing.  The other issue is the size.  It’s only 5.5” long.  Now that will fit most of us, but if your bigger than that, this might be a bit of a problem.

You can cum right in the Sidekick, because it so easy to clean.  Turn it inside out again, wash in warm soapy water and let it dry.  I found that once it dried; it felt a little sticky.  So I just dusted it with little bit of cornstarch.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next we have a much more elaborate sleeve from The Adult Toy Shoppe folks.

Cyberskin Pocket Pussy —— $39.99

Ken
Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat.  Oh wait, he did!  What luck for us!

I generally jerk off a couple of times a day.  This amazes my partner, Denise.  She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know.  I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid.  Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.pocket-pussy-4-TOH25056

Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve.  Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother?  Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.

This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind.  This stuff rocks!  It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too.  They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.

The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you.  This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes.  But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.

When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me.  I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf.  Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing.  And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it.  The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.

I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin.  Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.

The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help.  However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother.  I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock.  I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that.  It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.

So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome.  Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.

Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied.  But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair.  I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.

So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out.  I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up.  This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned.  Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out.  Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.

Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry.  I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing.  DAMN!  After that, I decided to just let it air dry.

Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky.  I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.”  But what the fuck is “Renew”?
FULL REVIEW HERE

Just to round off today’s theme I offer my review of another masturbation sleeve.

FleshJack Ice —— $69.95

Dr Dick
So sex fans, I suppose ya’ll all know that the Fleshlight has been around for several years now, right? Good, I figured you would’ve noticed. I mean a person can hardly visit a sex related site these days without seeing one of their fetching ads. I realize that I’m a Johnny-cum-lately with my review, but like my momma always used to say — “all good thing come to those who wait”.

Like you, I’ve seen the Fleshlight around for years.  And because of that I convinced myself I knewproduct_aajack_440.jpg everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?

Well, so much for baseless assumptions.

Imagine my surprise when my very own personal FleshJack Ice showed up on my doorstep. I discovered that just about everything I thought I knew about this marvel didn’t even come close to the real thing. Until I had one of my own to fondle and probe…if ya catch my drift, I was clueless. It’s true what they say; this is the granddaddy of male stimulators. But you really shouldn’t take my word for it.

My initial piece of advice to everyone in my audience is; don’t be a smug jerk like me. That’s right! If you’ve never had your grubby paws on, or your hot little boner in, an actual Fleshlight, you pretty much don’t know nuthin’ about a Fleshlight. Period!

The first thing that struck me about the Fleshlight is it’s way bigger and heavier than I imagined. I figured it would be the size of a regular flashlight. I was wrong. The plastic shell is a serious 10” in length. And by it’s self it’s fairly light. It’s the totally amazing Superskin™ insert that racks up the weigh. My Fleshlight weighs in at a hefty 1 pound, eight and a half ounces. And that, sex fans, is a handful, or two, for damn sure. More about this in a minute.

The Superskin™ insert is totally amazing. It begs to be touched and caressed. It is unlike any other texture I’ve experienced in a sex toy. And like I said, I’ve had an opportunity to test drive a bunch of masturbators and stimulation sleeves in my time. The Superskin™ is kinda like a jelly, but it’s so much more substantial. I know this is gonna sound trite, but it does feel flesh-like. And if you add some hot water to your Fleshlight, as I did, before you sink in your chub, well it’s pretty much the most amazing feeling you can have from something that simulates a human orifice.

And ya wanna talk marketing genius? All Fleshlight customers are invited to customize their unit before they buy. And that is where the fun begins. Since most guys are pretty particular about where they stick their joystick, Fleshlight has cleverly come up with several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral” (apparently for those who can’t commit). The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. There are optional insert colors too: pink, mocha or ice. And get this, you can even choose from among six different internal contours for the insert itself: Original, Super Tight, Ultra Tight, Speed Bump, Super Ribbed and Wonder Wave. If, with all these options, you can’t design the perfect Fleshlight for you, you’re just too damned fussy.

I want to draw your attention to one last feature before we take this puppy on a test drive. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a flashlight, has removable caps at both ends. The top cap covers the bulbous head of the insert and helps keeps it clean when it’s not in use. The end cap can be removed for easy cleaning. (The jizz-fanatics among us will appreciate this, because when a wank session is over, you can simply dribble out your spunk for some delicious DNA play.)

Like I suggested above you can also add hot water through the end cap for a warm, squishy jack. If you do add water, don’t over-fill the blasted thing. No more than three-quarter full is my suggestion. And this is best done in the shower or bath. Because, depending on the vigor of your stroke, things will get might wet, which just so happens to add to the fun. Just so you know, this was my favorite way to Fleshlight!
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

Posted on

Oh what fun it is to ride…

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and this is Week 4 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Glenn & Hank, Dixie and Brad.

First up we have yet another exquisite erotic art insertable from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the third product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  See the other HERE!

Mister Twister ——  $129.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn:  “WE’RE BACK!  Did you miss us?  We missed you.  Well actually, we missed the sex toys.  Being a Review Crew member has its perks.”
Hank:  “He’s in such a good mood because we got to review another toy that he can shove up his ass.  Glenn has the hungriest hole around.”
Glenn:  “I like to think of it as talented, not hungry.”
Hank:  “A rosebud by any other name…”
Glenn:  “Speaking of talented; a literary allusion and an asshole allusion all in one sentence.  You’re on a roll, my man!”
Hank:  “Ok, let’s get on with it.  What we have here is an art glass butt plug. Mister xh600Twister is just one of the beautiful creations to be had when you visit XHale online.  Glenn and I are new to glass, but after this little encounter; there will surely be more glass toys to come.”
Glenn:  “This petite beauty is only 3 3/8” tall.  It has a very modest girth of not much more than an inch.  This is your starter butt plug model.  I’m like totally used to way bigger toys in my ass, but there is something about this stunning little number that makes it one of my favorites.  I feel all dressed up with this puppy pluggin my hole.  Maybe that’s because it’s art, baby.  All XHale art is individually handmade, which makes my insertable even more precious to me.  No one else in the world has exactly the same one as I.”
Hank:  “It sure is!  It also has this amazing blue and white swirl in the solid glass.  That’s why when Mister Twister joined our dildo and plug collection it was like a snowy dove trooping with crows.”
Glenn:  “There you go again!  Apparently you’ve got Romeo and Juliet on the brain.  But you’re right; Mister Twister is a jewel, that’s for sure.”
Hank:  “Because this is the highest quality glass, it will last a lifetime; ya just gotta treat it with care.”
Glenn:  “XHale helps you do that by providing a very sturdy black padded drawstring pouch to keep your insertable art safe from getting nicked or chipped.  But we think Mister Twister is so beautiful; when it’s not adorning my hole it is proudly placed on our mantle.”
Hank:  “And if you think that is gross, you don’t know squat about glass insertables.  You can clean this baby with simple soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution; or sterilize in boiling water or the dishwasher.”
Glenn:  “You can use any sort of lube you want to with a glass object like this.  And a little goes a very long way.  For someone unfamiliar with a butt plug, this will take some getting use to.  It’s hard as a rock.  But once you get the hang of it, it will be your material of choice from there on out.  I can wear Mister Twister for hours on end.  There’s no chafing; nothing like that.”
Hank:  “And you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next another vibe from our friends at Vibratex.

Neo Cockring by Vibratex —— $24.99

Brad
So I was like totally hot for the Neo Cockring when I saw it in its stylish plexiglas storage case. At 33 I’m just discovering the joys of wearing a cockring. I was telling some of my gay clients at the gym about getting my first cockring about a month ago. They looked at me like I had just landed from outer space. OK, so I’m a late bloomer; sue me!

The Neo Cockring is a clear jelly sorta deal. Although it’s not a jelly, it’s made of a 131111phthalate-free elastomer. This may not make a difference to you, but it sure does to me. I don’t do anything that may contain phthalates. I mean, why would I endanger my health if I don’t have to?

The thing that rocks, or is supposed to, is this cockring has a built-in vibe, and it has this tickler side to it. And even though the vibe is a tiny thing; it has two activation choices. The first is a side button that remains “on” until depressed, and the second is a pressure sensitive pad behind the ticklers. So my GF is like waiting for me to warp this thing around my johnson and show her what it’ll do to her clit. I position the ring around my dick and balls with the vibe on the top of my cock with the tickle head pointing outward. Are you following this?

I activate the vibe and…well I feel it, but it ain’t rockin my world; as I had hoped. But ok, maybe the vibe is not for me but my GF. Ahhh, not so fast! She says she can feel it too, and she likes the way it turns itself on as it comes in contact with her clit, but there ain’t enough bang for her buck either.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finely, something very unique from Doc Johnson.

Wish-Bone Vibrator —— $25.50

Dixie
I’m doing a solo review today. My partner, Joy, is working on another review for later in this series.

I have something no nonsense to show you this time around. It’s about as simple and straightforward as you can get. It’s the Wish-Bone Vibrator.31BFrJZTjtL._AA280_

I’ve used a lot of vibes in my day. I think I own nearly two-dozen of them. Some I’ve used a couple of times and that’s it; I never touch them again. Others are favorites that I put to very good use frequently. However, none of them look like the Wish-Bone. So this little wonder gets high marks for it’s clever design.

Here’s how it works; you put your index finger (I prefer to use my middle finger) through the notch at the top of the vibe. You finger tip lands on the single button that switches on the vibe and rotates it through its three speeds before coming to off. That’s it; no bells, no whistles, just solid thoughtful design and construction.

It’s a perfect design. I love to finger myself when I jill-off. This extends my finger for effortless fingering. It’s made of a hard plastic (phthalate-free) that excellently conducts the vibration. It’s fabulous on my clit. And if that isn’t enough, the thing is waterproof. It’s so ideal; I now have the Wish-Bone permanently placed on the ledge of my tub.
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

Posted on

Moveable Feast

Hey sex fans,

Here we are at Week 2 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.  And we have two outstanding items for you.  One will, no doubt, be familiar to you.  The other is an outstanding example of erotic art.

The Dr Dick Review Crew Members: Kevin & Gina and Jack & Karen are here with the lowdown.

First, an old favorite from Vibratex.

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $47.50

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the others history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic WandZA919 before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next we have exquisite insertable erotic art from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the second product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  Look for the  Smooth Glider review.

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaftx351 are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY