Dr Dick's Sex Advice

November 8, 2013December 27, 2013

Conversation Piece

Hello sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday! And this week we welcome another new company to our review effort — the makers of the Moodsign This interesting adult product is supposed to help you reshape the way you communicate with your intimate partner.

Here to tell us all about Moodsign is Dr Dick Review Crew members, Denise & Ken.

The Moodsign and Card Game —— $39.99

Denise & Ken
Ken: “When Dr Dick asked us to review the Moodsign, I asked him; ‘what the hell is it?’ He said, “well, it’s not a sex toy, per se, but it is a device that is supposed to help a couple communicate about sex. And it comes with a card game that looks like fun. Would you guys like to give it a try?’”
Denise: “I glanced over at Ken while Dr Dick was telling us this. And I thought Ken’s eyes were going to roll out of his head. He does the eye-rolling thing so often; I don’t think he knows how obvious he’s being. So before Ken could open his mouth again, I chimed in and said, ‘sure, we’d be happy to review it.’ Ken nudged me and flashed that ‘are you serious?’ look at me. I pretended not to notice.”
Ken: “Ok, so maybe I was being a little transparent, but I couldn’t imagine how a gadget which lights up was gonna get me laid more often. And lets be honest, that’s what we’re talkin’ about here, right?”
Denise: “Tactful! But I did see his point. Ken and I both love sex, but our schedules are such that we often miss opportunities to have a little fun because we can’t read one another’s mind. I thought, if the Moodsign did nothing more than help us with that, it would be a winner.”
Ken: “Well, when she puts it like that, I began to understand. Maybe this is a good place to stop and tell you what the Moodsign is. It’s a sleek hard plastic thing that stand, about 5” tall. It has two clear plastic arms, one on each side, that can be raised to make a signal. Additionally, the arms light up, (powered by 3-AAA batteries, not included) and can be cycled through several different colors. Once I got over myself, I began to see how something as simple as this could actually make a huge difference in letting Denise know that I’m up for a little slap and tickle, I was sold.”
Denise: “Listen, I already know that Ken is ‘up’ for ‘it’ just about all the time, but now I had a way of signaling to him that I too was ‘up’ for ‘it’ and I could even be really specific about the kind of ‘it’ I might be up for. This was a game changer. Once Ken and I familiarized ourselves with the Moodsign, we decided to map out our own secret code for one another. Since the lighted arms can point down, outward, and up, we decided that this would signify our interest in and availability for some kind of sexual intimacy. If Ken was hot to go, he’d raise his lighted arm all the way up. I could then respond by raising my lighted arm to ‘hot-to-go,’ ‘maybe,’ or ‘not now, but thanks for asking.’”
Ken: “And then we designated a code for the colored lights to correspond to the kind of intimacy we were into — ‘cuddling,’ ‘making-out,’ ‘sensual massage,’ ‘fucking,’ that sort of thing.”
Denise: “I suggested that we reserve one color for non-sexual communication, like when we get into argument. We could signal to one another that we are ready to talk about whatever it was that set us off. The more we used the Moodsign, the more versatile it became. I found it really delightful and amazingly helpful.”
Ken: “You want to know what I like best? I like that Denise and I can pretty much carry on this really dirty conversation with one another right in front of the kids and they remain clueless. I mean, they’ve seen us fiddle around with the Moodsign, but I just told them it had something to do with work and they were fine with that.”
Denise: “Yeah, the secret code thing is way fun; it’s like being a kid again. I know it sounds silly, but why shouldn’t sex be fun and even a little silly from time to time? There was this one time that Ken and I got our signals crossed, so to speak. I was expecting a backrub and he was expecting a blowjob. Instead of getting all freaked out when we realized the mix up, we just laughed and laughed. In the end, he got what he wanted and I got what I wanted. Why didn’t someone think of this before now?”
Ken: “Before we conclude we should mention a little something about the card game that came with the Moodsign. You don’t have to buy the cards, but the package we got from Dr Dick the cards were bundled with the Moodsign.”
Denise: “The cards are color coded, some are blank. All are intended to spice up a couple’s sex life. You can use the cards in conjunction with the Moodsign or on their own. There are fantasy cards, customizable cards, and ‘quid pro quo’ cards. The Moodsign website has some playful suggestions on how to use the cards, so you’ll want to check that out. The cards are very hetero-centric, so keep that in mind. But the Moodsign is for anyone in a relationship.”
Ken: “Ya know; as strange as this sounds, the Moodsign has actually improved our communication skills. I guess sometimes a unassuming gadget, like the Moodsign, can make a pretty big change in a relationship.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

November 6, 2013November 7, 2013

Thou Shalt Not

Name: Lynn
Gender: Female
Age: 36
Location: Toronto
I’m a mother of three great kids. My oldest, who is in middle school, went to camp for the first time this past summer. A local church group sponsors the camp every year. When my husband and I asked him about his time away from home, he said rather noncommittally; “It was ok.” He seemed to like it well enough, but you know how uncommunicative kids can be at that stage.
Anyhow, yesterday I was packing away some summer stuff for the winter and discovered a pamphlet in my son’s backpack that he used at camp. It was for an “Abstinence Only” program. It was full of the most dreadful sex-negative fear and shame. It was awful. We are not raising our kids like that; my husband and I were appalled.
Now we’re wondering if this is why our son was so unenthusiastic about his camp experience. Do you think we should quiz him on this?
What gives with this kind of indoctrination anyway? I thought that those “Abstinence Only” programs had been discredited.

So wait; are you sayin’ that you think just because a social engineering strategy, like abstinence-only, has been debunked that it wouldn’t still be employed by certain factions of our culture? Oh hun, I think you oughta rethink that supposition right away, don’t cha know.

I mean, come on! There are loads of outdated and discredited philosophies still being promulgated as a means to ensnare the uninformed and gullible. I don’t know about ya’ll up there in Canadaville, but here in Amercanski land we have a whole segment of our population who believes that creationism as a viable explanation for the universe. In fact, one or another of these idiots runs for national office, even for President of these here United States, as a Republican in every election cycle.

So, as you can see, there’s not necessarily a connection between what has been discredited and what is still wildly popular in some segments of our population.

Way back in the spring of 2007, a long-awaited congressionally funded national study concluded that abstinence-only sex education does not keep teenagers from having sex. Nor does it increase the likelihood that, if they do have sex, they will use a condom.

Authorized by Congress in 1997, the study followed 2000 children from elementary and middle school into high school. The children lived in four communities — two urban, two rural. All of the children received the family life services available in their community; in addition, slightly more than half of them also received abstinence-only education.

By the end of the study, when the average child was just shy of 17, half of both groups had remained abstinent. The sexually active teenagers had sex the first time at about age 15. Less than a quarter of them, in both groups, reported using a condom every time they had sex. More than a third of both groups had two or more partners.

So if abstinence-only programs don’t work, at least the way they are supposed to; why do we still have them? Ahhh, good question. We still have them because for a large segment of the population, especially those who are makin’ all them babies, it’s easier to just tell their kids “NO” than to step up to the plate and educate their kids about sex in a wholesome and holistic way.

Another problem is that the word abstinence often means something quite different to kids than it does to adults. That’s one reason why abstinence-only programs do not have strong effects in preventing teenage sexual activity. At least that’s what a University of Washington study found.

The researchers found that interventions that encourage abstinence treat abstinence and sexual activity as opposites. Teenagers, on the other hand, don’t consider them to be mutually exclusive concepts. Like in the congressionally sponsored study, the UW researchers found abstinence-only programs are less likely to work than more comprehensive sex-education programs because they are not speaking the same language as adolescents.

The study also showed that attitudes and intentions about sex were more powerful than attitudes and intentions about being abstinent. No surprise there, I suppose.

Again, I don’t know how things are there in Canada, but down here there is no federal funding for comprehensive sex-education. But there’s a shit-load of funding for abstinence-only programs. Funding mushroomed from $9 million in1997 to $176 million in 2007. Leave it to congress to dump loads of money into a program that doesn’t work. But such is the power of the conservative religious lobby. They are the people who back these programs.

This wouldn’t be such a big issue if it didn’t hold such dire consequences. For example, the United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate among all first-world nations. The rates of sexually transmitted diseases in this country are also astronomical. If we want to keep our young people safe from the negative aspects of casual sex, abstinence-only programs are not the way to go.

However, more comprehensive programs that include abstinence as one choice are much more likely to have a more productive outcome. Besides, is it ever a good idea to try and motivate people with fear and shame? I don’t think so.

Since abstinence-only programs often only look at the negatives of sex, it doesn’t really empower a young person to take responsibility for his/her behaviors. This is particularly thorny for young women who often bear the brunt the peer pressures to be sexual. And they have way more at stake in terms of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

When kids aren’t expected to take responsibility for their behaviors, especially in terms of sexuality, it cripples their ability to make good life-affirming choices. Abstinence-only programs disqualify all sexual options, even the relatively innocuous behaviors like mutual masturbation and oral sex. So if all sexual options are equally out of bounds, there’s no way for the average kid to distinguish between harmless and risky behaviors. And this is what leads to the high rate of sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancies.

If we want our kids to grow up with healthy and integrated attitudes about sex, ones that will lead to more loving and fulfilling sexual relationships later in life, we ought teach from a more sex-positive theory.

Back to the other question you raise; the one about quizzing your son about his camp experience. I think that would be great. It would let him know that you care, that you don’t support this fear and shame-based approach to human sexuality and that he doesn’t have to embrace it either.

Good Luck

November 4, 2013

Book Signing News

We have this “thing” here in the Emerald City called Art Walk. Actually a number of our neighborhoods have an Art Walk, but the granddaddy of ’em all is the Pioneer Square Art Walk. It happens the first Thursday of every month rain or shine. (And you can pretty much guess what happens most.) All the hoity-toity fine art galleries in the area throw open their doors to us, the hoi polloi, and invite us in to sniff around the art, like if we knew what we were doing. You know what they say; you can lead a horticulture, but ya can’t make us think. (Pardon me stepping all over your lovely quote, Ms Parker!)

Anywho, this coming Thursday, 11/07/13, on Art Walk evening, one of the most prestigious galleries in the whole freakin’ city, The James Harris Gallery, is gonna host me for a book signing. Me, with all that art! Holy cow; can ya stand it?

My friend, James Harris, so liked my book, Longfellow And The Deep Hidden Woods, that he offered to share my most recent children’s story with his patrons. I hope all my friends, in and around Seattle, will mozie on down and check it out. Say hello, and buy a book and don’t be surprised if you come away from it all covered in stinkin’ culture.

November 1, 2013

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

Name: Curt
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: Spokane
Ok, so I’m always self-conscious when I see a big cock. I wish I had a bigger one. I’m a virgin and don’t get girls or guys because I think they will judge me. See I have a 6″ cock and I think that’s small for my age. Should I get a pump or something? I don’t know what to do.

I know what you should do! And it’s not going out and getting yourself a pump either. Here’s what you do. Instead of obsessing about the size of your unit, invest your time, energy and any cash you might be hording away to waste on a penis enlargement scheme in something that will make you a more interesting person. Because that, my friend, is what’s gonna get you laid.

Here’s the lowdown — throughout history, men have obsessed about the size of their cocks. And when there’s magnitude of attention paid to something so trivial, you can be sure there’s gonna be an entire industry poised to bilk the shit out of the willie worrisome, like you Curt. Hey, where do you suppose the term “snake oil” originated? Sheesh!

All of this unfortunate big-dick envy creates a never-ending parade of con artists tryin’ to sell a remedy, of one sort or another, to cure guys, just like you, of their “shame.” But, take it from Dr. Dick, the dick doctor; it’s all bullshit. And some of the bullshit is really scary and dangerous bullshit.

For every little peanut out there, (and if you are reporting your size accurately, you’re on the higher end of average) there is some kooky diet, ridiculous cream, bogus massage technique or worthless breathing exercise that is supposed to transform one’s mini-meat into the giant economy size. And let’s not forget the weights you can hang on your thang. Vacuum devices to pump up your thang. And of course the twenty-first century solution — cosmetic surgery — to put a happy face on your thang. The results are dubious if there are any results at all. And each has negative side effects, some of which are more revolting and/or dangerous than others.

Here’s the last word on this — don’t waste your money on any of this crap. Or better yet, send me the money, and I’ll put it to good use. Here’s the very best advice I can offer a guy who is unhappy with the size of his schlong…learn to love what ya got. Learn to use what ya got. And leave what ya got the hell alone.

Good luck

Name: JC
Gender: Male
Age: 40 something
Location: Seattle
Richard,
Here’s my question. You probably have already answered this a couple of times, but here goes anyway. How important is sex in a relationship between gay men? Do you think it’s ok to stay with someone even thought the sex is not good, or if it’s only good for one of the partners?

You’re right, I hear this question all the time, not just from gay men, but from all sorts of people.

The short answer to your query is; yes, lots of gay men (and folks of any other stripe too) stay together in healthy, loving, long-term relationships, even though the relationship (or marriage) is sexless. Most people in these relationships choose domestic tranquility over sexual tension. And sometimes the partners in these types of relationships give one another permission to pursue the sexual gratification they need and want outside the primary relationship.

That being said, there is certainly a large percentage of gay men (folks of any other stripe too) who could not, nor would they want to stay in a sexless, or one-sided relationship. And so the alternative, or satellite relationship, arrangement would not appeal to them.

To your final point about staying in a relationship when the sex is good for only one of the partners, well that’s a more troublesome. This suggests to me that the dissatisfied partner is frustrated and disappointed and that’s never a good foundation on which to build a relationship. My experience has been that when someone is living in one of these one-sided relationships the frustration will inevitably build to a point when all hell breaks loose. The ensuing explosion, more often than not, destroys the relationship.

I’ve worked with several such couples in the past. Some develop strategies for fixing the sexual problems that have come between them. These couples choose to work on building mutual sexual satisfaction into the relationship. And that can happen lots of different ways. Others couples decide that mutuality can never be achieved and so they choose to amicably end the relationship and move on.

Which kind of person are you? What kind of relationship do you have? I can scarcely say, given the limited information you share with me. I see you write from Seattle. If you want to talk about this sometime, make an appointment for a consultation. I’m sure I can make room for you. And anyone else in a similar predicament, regardless of where you live, my services are available to you too through Skype or by phone. Check out the Therapy Available tab in the header. It’s under the About Dr Dick tab.

Good luck

October 28, 2013June 22, 2018

More of The Erotic Mind of Matthew Stillman — Podcast #396 — 10/28/13

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans, welcome back.

The incomparable Matthew Stillman is back with us today for Part 2 of his appearance on this The Erotic Mind show. As you probably recall from last week, Matthew is the author of Genesis Deflowered, in which he reworked the first book of the bible by adding all the missing sex scenes and he did so while keeping his addition faithful to the literary style of the King James Version.

This week I hope to prevail upon Matthew to read from his work. Of course, we’re all goin’ to hell for even contemplatin’ this blasphemy. But what the heck, we already know we’re headed in that direction anyway, huh?

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #395 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Matthew and I discuss:

Being called out as a blasphemer;
Getting reacquainted with the story of Cain and Abel;
The expression of desire;
Horrific violence and tender love;
God sets up boundaries;
The appearance of other humans besides Adam, Eve and their boys;
The first biblical 3-way;
Biblical euphemisms for different kinds of sex and orgasm;
The upcoming Exodus Deflowered;
The discontent of the literalists and fundamentalists;
Biblical sexual mythology and controlling human sexual appetites;
The Alphabet vs The Goddess;
Women and men both lose, but women lose the most.

Look for Matthew’s Twitter feed HERE!

(Click on the cover art below to buy Matthew’s amazing book.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

October 25, 2013

Isn’t she lovely

Hello sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday! We welcome another new company to our review effort — Fun Toys today. They are relative new-comers to the world of adult products. And, right out the gate, they’ve brought the world a very unique and innovative vibe, the topic of today’s review. Their company slogan is Orgasm Delivery!

Well, we’ll just see about that, don’t cha know. Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada is here with her thoughts and comments.

G Vibe —— $99.99

Jada
I am delighted to be the one to bring you news of a truly remarkable and inventive new vibe. It’s called the G Vibe and it comes from a company called Fun Toys. Well, my friends, no need to beat around the bush; I’m smitten.

The G Vibe looks like no other vibe I’ve ever seen. It looks as though someone took a regular insertable vibe and sliced it down the middle, producing two forked tongues, each of which vibrates. The two tongues are ultra-flexible and the whole vibe is covered in the most deliciously soft and velvety 100% medical grade silicone. And that makes it, as you probably already know, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic. It’s the dream material for insertables. The G Vibe comes in several colors, mine is rose.

Embedded in the handle of G Vibe is a hard plastic ring, with a metallic finish. This allows you to slip two fingers (index and middle) into the handle so that your thumb is perfectly positioned on the three-button control panel. When activated the buttons light up. It is super-ergonomic and clearly lovingly designed.

Speaking of the control panel, it’s among the easiest I’ve ever used. The top button is marked with a “+.” This turns on the vibe and accelerates the intensity of the vibrations from mild to wow! The middle button marked with a wavy icon rotates through the six vibrating modes. The lower button is marked with a “-.” This decelerates the intensity of the vibrations and turns the unit off.

The G Vibe is about 9.5” long, with an insertable length of about 6”. The girth of a single tongue is approximately 2.5” and the girth of the two tongues together is about 4.5”

Each of the tongues of the G Vibe has its own motor. And the flexibility of the tongues is what makes it so versatile. Squeeze the two tongues together to insert the shaft of the vibe. Of course, the tongues separate once inserted. The two tongues delivers a sensation of fullness without stretching the entrance of your vagina. This makes for lovely G-spot stimulation. Insert one tongue and maneuver the other tongue to your clit. Or slip the G Vibe over your clit or nipples in a clothespin like fashion. Or use the tongue tips to tickle and tease anywhere on your body or your partner’s body. Let your imagination and your creativity guide you to find all the possible uses and pleasure techniques. Look to the pamphlet that is included in the box for inspiration.

Any men out there reading this will be pleased to know that G Vibe can be used anally too. Again, squeeze the two tongues together to insert the shaft of the vibe an experience a unique prostate massage. Or insert one tongue anally and the other will deliver delightful perineum stimulation. I think the G Vibe is ideal for couple play. Be sure to use only a water-based lube with this beauty. A silicone-based lube would degrade and mar it’s finish.

The motors are powerful yet remarkably quiet. And the G Vibe is rechargeable! The recharge port is in the base of the handle. A small flap of silicone covers the port when the recharging cord has been removed.

Sadly, the design of the charger port, with the flap and all, makes the G Vibe only water resistant, not waterproof. This is the only drawback that I can see to this superior vibe. I so wanted to have the G Vibe join me in the bath, where I do most of my self-pleasuring. Unfortunately, that will never happen. Maybe Fun Toys will consider a recharge port redesign at some point, which will make the G Vibe waterproof.

Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. Be sure to rinse in warm water and let it air dry afterward.

The lovely gift box the G Vibe comes in is very stylish, yet all the components are recyclable. I love that Fun Toys is environmentally conscious. The box closes with a magnetic latch. Inside the box, under the lift out insert that holds the G Vibe in place, you will find the owner’s manual, the USB recharger cord, and an attractive drawstring storage bag featuring the Fun Toys logo. Everything about this presentation says elegant without being ostentatious.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

October 21, 2013June 22, 2018

The Erotic Mind of Matthew Stillman — Podcast #395 — 10/21/13

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans, welcome back.

I have a truly remarkable show in store for you today. In fact, it’s so unique I don’t even know how to categorize it. I suppose it’s best placed in The Erotic Mind series, but I’m pretty certain we will discover elements of the SEX WISDOM series and even the Sex EDGE-U-cation series too.

But wait, I know what you’re thinking. Hey, Dr Dick, who is this guest of yours, the one who defies categorization? Well, I’ll tell ya; I am delighted to welcome to the show, the incomparable Matthew Stillman.

Matthew is the author of Genesis Deflowered. And if you haven’t heard of this book; well, that suggests to me you haven’t been paying attention to the goings on in the popular culture. And that’s because Genesis Deflowered is all the rage these days. Matthew reworked the first book of the bible by adding all the missing sex scenes and he did so while keeping his additions faithful to the literary style of the King James Version. No mean feat that, sex fans, I can assure you.

Matthew and I discuss:
His path to finding the intersection between sex and religion;
The fundamental disconnect between monotheism and sexuality;
The motivation; is it malice or fear;
Being at odds with nature;
The proto-sexual sin — sex = death;
Genesis Deflowered written in the style of the King James Bible;
Tampering with something that ought never be tampered with;
Sexy in a naughty librarian sort of way;
The Book of Jasher and The Book of Genesis;
The story of (beautiful) Joseph and his coat of many colors;
The randy women of Genesis;
Over 500 suggested sexual acts in Genesis alone.

Matthew invites you to follow him on Twitter HERE!

(Click on the cover art below to buy Matthew’s amazing book.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: SPUNK Lube Pink.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

October 18, 2013

Oh The Humanity

Name: Ron
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Florida
So to start I am completely straight. So I don’t understand why about two years ago I attempted to give myself fellatio. And after I came out of my horny rage I realized what happened and have felt totally disgusted and mad at myself since then. And now every time I masturbate I relive that horrible day in my head. As I said I’m straight and secure in that fact but is it normal. Do other straight men attempt this?

Here’s a little something I’ve learned over the years, sex fans. Anytime someone starts off his message to me with the words “…I’m completely straight” I can absolutely guarantee that he’s not absolutely straight!

I don’t care what follows the dreaded words, “I’m completely straight” because, regardless of what the person says next; I already know that my correspondent is scared shitless that deep down inside he’s a big fat flamin’ gay homosexual, don’t cha know. And that goes double for you, Ron.

Here’s a tip ya’ll: no completely straight guy would ever let the first thing out of his mouth be “I’m completely straight.” No completely straight guy would ever feel the need to say that, because he would be totally confident that everyone already knew that.

So Ron, just listen to yourself, why don’t ‘cha already. A man who is comfortable in his own skin, regardless of his sexual preferences, is not gonna freak out in disgust and anger when he explores the amazing capacities of his own body, even if that involves tryin’ to blow himself.

However, a dude who has something to hide, a fella who has a little secret, a stud who is afraid of what might be lurking inside; now that guy is gonna freak out…just like you did, Ron. And not only did you start out your question with that ill advised comment, you went out of your way to tell me again how “straight and secure” you are at the end of your message. And now you can’t even pull your pud without being horrified by this one insignificant incident. I can smell your internalized homophobia from here, darling.

Had you spared me the editorial comment about “being completely straight” and just started out by saying that you tried to blow yourself one day and then got confused to its possible meaning, if it had any meaning at all. Then I would have been able to tell you that men of every possible sexual predilection at one time or another either try or fantasize about giving themselves a hummer. It’s the fuckin’ Holy Grail of self-pleasuring, honey.

So you can relax, girlfriend, your secret is safe with me. It’s too bad about the jerkin’ off thing, though. Imagine never being able to grab your piece in peace. Imagine being reminded of your horrible little secret every time you want to hand yourself a little, much needed relief. Can’t honestly say I’d want to live like that. But if you do…

Good luck

Name: Steve
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Philly
This has been a question on my mind for quite some time. I’ve searched all over the internet, but can’t find an answer. A friend of mine directed me to your website, and spoke very highly of you.
So here’s my question: If you drank someone’s urine after they’ve used narcotics (cocaine, marijuana, etc.) would these substances then show up in your own urine analysis drug test?
Recently I met someone and we both played with watersports. And of course, we began to drink it. Afterward he mentioned that he like to ‘dabble with pot’ now and then. He didn’t seem high at the time; of course we had been drinking a lot of beer.
I get tested for narcotics at my place of work. These tests are random tests given by the government. Failing a drug test could lead to losing my job, and now I’m so paranoid about this.
I hope to hear back from you, with any advice you may have. I have a feeling I’ll be taking more caution with this in the future.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this email.

I’ve written and spoken a lot about watersports in the past. If you check out the CATEGORIES pull-down menu in the sidebar, you’ll find all the postings and/or podcasts there. You’ll find watersports under the KINK category.

The short answer to your question is: “Prospective pee drinkers should be aware that there are numerous drugs, both pharmaceutical and recreational, that pass through the body either only partly metabolized or entirely un-metabolized; like those nasty amphetamines and their derivatives. Cocaine also falls under the rubric. So it’s all together possible to get really high from drinking a druggie’s piss.”

Just remember, my friend, you are what you consume…at the dinner table or the urinal.

If you are worried about random drug tests, I suggest that you don’t drink the pee you’re playin’ with. Enjoy the watersports till your heart’s content, just don’t swallow.

Good luck

October 16, 2013June 22, 2018

More Sex EDGE-U-cation with Kathy Labriola — Podcast #394 — 10/16/13

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans, welcome back.

Author, educator, counselor, nurse and hypnotherapist, the delightful Kathy Labriola is back with us for Part 2 of her appearance on this the Sex EDGE-U-cation show.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #393 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Kathy and I discuss:

Autonomy vs. intimacy;
Love In Abundance; A Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships;
Being a card-caring bisexual;
Advocating for poly rights, but not universal polyamory;
The role the internet plays in building the poly community;
The fallacy that people are repressed into monogamy;
Serial adultery and the myth of life-long monogamy;
Tips for coming out as poly;
The people who inspire her and her sexual heroes.

You’ll find lots of information about Kathy on her fantastic website HERE!

Click on the book art below to check out Kathy’s books.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

October 13, 2013

DICK: THE DOCUMENTARY

Hey Seattle sex fans!

Join me and my friends, Jim Duvall and Jeff Hedgepeth on Monday evening, 10/14, for the world premiere of DICK: THE DOCUMENTARY

A lively panel discussion, featuring Jim, Jeff and I, along with the film’s producer, Chiemi Karasawa, will follow directly after the show.

If you have a dick or know someone who does, this is the documentary for you!

Tickets available HERE!

BE THERE OF BE SQUARE!

October 11, 2013

Like Cats And Dogs

Name: Karen
Gender: Female
Age: 33
Location: Dorchester, MA
My marriage of 12 years has hit a real rocky patch. I know my husband loves me and I certainly love him and we both love our 3 kids dearly. It’s just that we (he and I) have been fighting like cats and dogs lately. Every discussion, not just about sex, turns into a huge dust-up. It’s getting us both down. I don’t know where to turn. I was reading about your counseling practice and wanted to ask if you thought couple’s counseling was worth our while. Unfortunately we live on the other side of the country, so we can’t see you. But I’d look around here for help it you thought it would help. Thanks.

Yeah, I think couple’s counseling might very well help, and it might even help a lot. It sounds like you have a bank of good will goin with your hubby. You guys still love each other. Maybe that’s a good enough and strong enough foundation to get you through this rough patch. But you’ll never know unless you invest some time and energy into getting to the bottom of what’s eating at you guys. A good counselor will be able to assist you with that.

It’s true; you are on the other side of the country from me, but we could still work together. The thing is, I kept hearing from folks like you, far-flung from my home base here in Seattle, so I decided to introduce a remote therapy option for those who can’t see me at my office. I now offer counseling and coaching sessions by phone or through Skype. For more information about this see the Therapy Available page in the header (under the heading About Dr Dick).

Regardless of where you find the help you are looking for, let me say from the outset; this intervention won’t be inexpensive, but no worthy endeavor ever is. Besides a good marriage is worth the investment, don’t you think? As you guys consider taking your problems to a professional, allow me to direct your attention to the CATEGORIES section in the sidebar. Search for the main category — Sex Therapy. Under that heading you will find the subcategory — “Fair Fight Training.” These postings and podcasts will help you begin working on your communication skills. In fact, if you guys can learn to fight fair, you will have gone a long distance to healing whatever ails you.

Basically, this is what any good therapist will help you do. He/she ain’t gonna solve your problems for you, but she/he will teach you how to effectively communicate with each other, find solutions to your problems, and do so without battering one another to death in the process.

Most of us have really poor communication skills, if we have any skills at all. We generally fight first and ask questions later. We immediately get into a defensive posture, even before being attacked. We know how to manipulate, whine, or blame and “cover our own ass,” but that’s not communicating.

Effective communication begins with “EFFECTIVE LISTENING. ”

Here’s how I see it; even if we were to express our feelings, thoughts and opinions clearly and effectively that’s only half the task. Equally important is listening to and understanding what our partner communicates. If I’m too busy formulating my response to what my partner is saying, I’m not really listening to what’s being communicated. In fact, if I’m all balled up in preparing my defense, I may be missing the most important part of the message — the nonverbal cues coming from my partner. If I’m inside my own head, I have no resources available to decode or interpret the message coming from my partner, like through body language.

In other words, effective communication only happens when both partners are able to receive, decipher, interpret and understand the full message coming from the other in precisely the way he/she intends it. This is a difficult skill to master, mostly because it means I have to put the interests of my partner before my own interests. And who among us can say we do that with ease?

Effective listening is dependent on being an active listener. Active listening is being genuinely interested in understanding what our partner thinks, feels and wants. An active listener is concerned with the full message coming from our partner — the verbal part as well as the nonverbal. I mean, think about it; sometimes we say one thing, but our body language says something quite different. So if I’m only attentive to the words I will surely miss the other, and possibly more important, non-verbal message coming from my partner.

When I listen actively I am more concerned with grasping what is being communicated than formulating my response. If I can accurately paraphrase my partner’s message as I receive it, as well as ask my partner for verification; then I’m on the right track. This verification or feedback process is what distinguishes active listening and makes it so effective.

When you practice this feedback method, try to:

Grasp the feelings or intent beyond the words.
Resist the impulse to immediately answer questions that come from your partner. Because questions are often not always questions; sometimes they’re rhetorical statements.
If you’re confused by what you hear, or you don’t understand what is being said, say so.
Acknowledge your partner’s feelings. If you hear anger, hurt, or fear let your partner know that’s what you hear.
Use eye contact and be conscious of his body language.
Be empathic and nonjudgmental.
Finally, thank your partner for entrusting his thoughts, feeling or whatever to you.

Good luck

October 9, 2013June 22, 2018

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Kathy Labriola — Podcast #393 — 10/09/13

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans, welcome back.

Coming up is a brand-spankin’ new edition of the Sex EDGE-U-cation show. By now I’m sure you know that this is the series that takes a look at the world of fetish sex, kink, and alternative lifestyles and we do so with remarkably talented people from all over the freakin’ world, don’t cha know. My guest today is one such person. Author, educator, counselor, nurse and hypnotherapist, the oh so amazing Kathy Labriola is in the house!

Kathy has been writing, and teaching, and presenting on the topic of open relationships for decades. She has a brand new book out that deals with one of the biggest bugaboos for the non-monogamy set, as well as all you monogamous folks out there. And that is — jealousy. You can be sure that we well be talking about that timely topic and so much more. You won’t want to miss this sex fans!

Kathy and I discuss:

The whole workbook concept;
Dealing with emotional responses to triggers in our relationships;
Jealousy and envy;
Belief in a sacristy economy fuels jealousy;
Seeing if an open relationship is right for you before tackling jealousy;
The disparity in feeling of jealousy in a relationship;
How we grow up my determine how fit we are for open relationships;
Her background and training;
Ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships;
Her feminist perspective on monogamy and other relationship models.

You’ll find lots of information about Kathy on her fantastic website HERE!

Click on the book art below to check out Kathy’s books.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

October 7, 2013October 9, 2013

Baby-batter Blues

Name: John
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Location: Cathedral City, CA
Dr Dick, my question is — I’m lactose intolerant. But I find that when I swallow semen it has the same effect on me as drinking a glass of milk. In other words, it runs right through me. Is there something I can do about that? And also, what is the cause of it? What is the nature of semen that has the same reaction as a glass of milk? Thank you very much and I really enjoy your podcasts.

Thank you for your kind words about the podcasts, John. And thank you for your very interesting question.

So let me get this straight; you claim that because you are lactose intolerant suckin’ up man seed effects you in the same way drinking a glass of milk does. How did you say it? Oh yeah, “it runs right through me.” I’m gonna guess you mean you get the squirts from the spooge you consume, is that right?

So I gotta ask, how much spunk are you ingesting on any one occasion? Are you making a meal of it? Or are your bowels just real sensitive? Either way, I’d say ya gotta cut back on the jizz. Holy Cow!

Listen, I’m not a dietitian; but I do know that lactose is a complex sugar made up of two other more primary sugars — glucose and galactose. In order for lactose to be absorbed into the body, it must first be broken down into these two more basic sugars. The enzyme that breaks down lactose is called lactase. If you are deficient in this enzyme you will be lactose intolerant.

That being said, lets look at the composition of spunk. Semen contains citric acid, free amino acids, fructose (BINGO), enzymes, prostaglandin, potassium, and zinc.

Like I said, I’m only speculating here, but maybe your delicate system is responding to the sugars in baby batter. I’ve never heard that before, but then again, how many folks are paying as close attention to the connection between spooge consumption and having the runs and the wind?

Lots of people who are lactose intolerant compensate by taking a Lactase Enzyme Supplements. You might try the same strategy. And do keep me posted. I’d love to hear some follow up.

Good luck

October 4, 2013

Me love you long time!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday. You probably noticed that we took a much longer than expected hiatus from our reviews than we expected. Our last posted review was way back on August 9th. It’s not because we were falling down on the job. Oh no! It was because we were sent a bunch of products that were simply not up to our standards and no one on the Dr Dick Review Crew wanted to use them let alone review them. I tell you this because it’s so important that we all remain vigilant when we’re buying any sort of adult product. There’s still a lot of bad stuff in the marketplace.

Today, however, we have something very interesting to share with you. This product comes to us from the folks at Promescent. It is their signature product and I have Dr Dick Review Crew member, Greg, here to tell us all about this product.

Promescent (trial size) —— $19.95

Greg
I’m back! And it’s way good to be back, too. I was one of the original Review Crew back in the day. Then, in 2010, I moved away from Seattle for love. Once my torrid love affair ended I high-tailed it back to the Emerald City and quickly hooked back up with Dr Dick so I could rejoin the Crew.

Apparently, it was just in the nick of time, too. Dr Dick asked me; “So would you like to review this?” As he handed me three-trial-size packages of Promescent. “What is it?” I asked. And he says, “It’s the only FDA-approved product for Premature Ejaculation.” “That’s cool, I guess, but way are you giving it to me? I don’t have that.” And he says, “Well, did you ever want to last longer than you actually did?” “Sure!” I said. “OK then, have a run at this, and let me know what you think.”

So here I am ready to testify that Promescent really works. Hurray!

Here’s the deal. Like I said, I don’t have PE (premature ejaculation). But I know a lot of guys who do; even some of my past partners have had a hair-trigger. And when they talked about it I knew it was devastating to them. I can only feel bad for them because it must be awful to lack control over your ejaculation. And then I remembered what Dr Dick asked me…do I ever want to last longer than I actually do. And yeah, there have been times, especially when I’m with a hot new partner when I felt that if I wasn’t careful, I’d go off half-cocked, if ya know what I mean.

That’s what I had in mind when I used Promescent. And I got to tell you, not having to worry about losing control makes having sex way more enjoyable. I don’t have to count backwards from 100, ya know to distract my attention from the hot sex I’m having. I mean, who wants to do that?

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Before I used Promescent for the first time I went to their website to check it out. While the trial size packaging does have some information about use and other drug information, the print is so tiny that I thought it best that I go to the source for all the information I was looking for. By the way, I suggest that you do that too.

The Promescent website has tons of info about the product and how to use it. I learned that you spray a measured dose to the underside of your cock 10-15 minutes before sex. The active ingredient is lidocaine a pretty common local anesthetic. The cool thing about this product is that it penetrates the skin of your dick and it doesn’t transfer to your partner. I mean, I always use a condom when I’m fucking, but still. I can see where this would be very important feature for a couple who doesn’t have to use a condom.

I also learned that once Promescent has been absorbed (in about 10 minutes) and after any excess product has been wiped away, you can then use lube.

The trial size bottle is designed as a single use bottle and contains approximately 10 sprays. I like the trial size because it’s easy to slip it into the back pocket of my jeans, which makes carrying it and using it very discreet. I mean you probably don’t want to be advertising to a partner that you may have a little problem with control, right?

So you’re probably asking yourself, what does it feel like? Does it numb your whole unit, or what? Well, it feels a little cool when first applied. And since Promescent works on the nerve ending under your skin, there wasn’t any significant loss of sensitivity on my cock. That’s great because I thought; I sure as hell didn’t want my dick to be like totally anesthetized.

Listen, you guys, if PE is as prevalent as Dr Dick says it is, then a lot of you are needlessly missing out on a whole bunch of pleasure. And think about the disappointment your partners are probably experiencing because you can’t control yourself. Of even if you are like me and have to, from time to time, think of something unsexy while you’re getting it on, just to avoid untimely climax, then you too are missing out on a bunch of pleasure.
Full Review HERE!

Enjoy

October 2, 2013June 22, 2018

More SEX WISDOM With Lara Eardley — Podcast #392 — 10/02/13

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans! Welcome back.

Author, activist, and passionate advocate for pelvic floor strength, the incomparable, Lara Eardley is back with us today for another go ‘round on this the SEX WISDOM show. I’m still kinda breathless from last week’s show, so I can’t tell you how eager I am for more of her today.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #391 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Lara and I discuss:

Her difficult early life;
Being in your body instead of living in your head;
From adversity to empathy;
The perineal lift;
Hands-free orgasms;
Reversing incontinence;
Those who inspire her and her sexual heroes.

Lara invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Don’t miss her YouTube channel HERE! And she also on Facebook HERE! And Twitter HERE!