Being a Better Lover – Page 14 – Dr Dick's Sex Advice

July 22, 2009January 8, 2013

YOUNG and OLD

Hey sex fans,

More Q&A today with the bonus links to my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY (see the VOD tab at the top of the page?) that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.

Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand. I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource. (Click on the images below for viewing information.)

Name: Ramish
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Location: UK
I’m nervous about having sex? I have been masturbating since I was 11, but I can’t work up the courage to try it with anyone else. I don’t even know if I’m gay or straight. How do I get over being so nervous?

Holy cow, that is nervous. I suggest that you begin by taking stock of yourself — physically, emotionally and sexually. I’m gonna ask you some questions and you can take all the time you need to ponder your answers. Here’s a tip, write these down; and if you have difficulty answering any of them ask a buddy for his or her input.

What’s your best physical asset? Do you think of yourself as attractive in a sexual sort of way? If not, what could you do to spruce things up a little? Listen, the more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more confident you’ll be in connecting with other for sex and relationships. If you know yourself well enough to know your best assets, you’ll be able to put your best stuff forward, right?

What do you find sexually attractive about others — both women and men? Chances are that if you haven’t already discovered if you are straight or gay, you might be bi.

When you masturbate, what goes through your head? What are your sexual fantasies? Do you fantasize about sexual situations with others? Anything in particular? Anyone in particular?

When you say you are nervous about sex; does that have to do with possible rejection? Or is it more to do with performance — ya know, not knowing what to do once the situation arises, so to speak? Is there anyone you feel safe enough with, a pal perhaps, you could talk this through with? If you feel emotionally safe, or safe from potential shame and humiliation with this person, it might be easier to open up him or her. Just remember, everyone’s been were you are at one point in his or her life.

Are you comfortable with being nude, at least by yourself? Lots of people aren’t. Are you able to admire yourself in the mirror without comparing yourself to the unrealistic expectations about the human body that comes to us from the popular culture? If you are not comfortable with being naked, think about the reasons why you’re not. Again, if it’s body image issues, maybe you need to get in better shape, or just let go of your idealized notions about physical attractiveness.

Do you know about contraception and sexually transmitted infections? If you don’t, you’re not ready to have sex with anyone else. Do your homework. Know what you need to ask a prospective partner in terms of contraception and STIs before an encounter.

OK, so you’re familiar with pleasuring yourself. That’s a good start. Would you know how to pleasure a partner? If you’re not sure, I suggest that you do some research. There are all kinds of instructional videos out there. In fact, you’ll find just about everything you are looking for at DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

One thing to remember, the best sex is a mutually satisfying experience. You and your potential partners are different people, with different desires, interests, personality and fantasies. Despite everything you might learn from an instructional video, there is no substitute for asking your partner what he/she likes. You’ll need to be able to respond in kind too. Being able to communicate your needs and desires is absolutely essential for a happy, fun-filled fuck.

Are you a good kisser? Do you know how to touch someone else without it being an invitation to sex? Do you know how to be affectionate, to be close and playful with someone simply for joy of it? I always suggest to my young clients that they learn how to give a good back rub or foot massage. Nonseductive touching is as important as knowing how to touch someone sexually. It’s also how some of the best sex play begins.

Are you making yourself available for a sexual connection? Nowadays the opportunities for connecting with others for companionship and/or sex abound. You don’t have to be aggressive in your pursuit, but it ain’t gonna fall in your lap either.

What would it take for you to feel comfortable initiating sex? This is, of course, the follow-up step to putting yourself out there. I realize this can be a bit intimidating, but you’re gonna have to push through this, pup. Think about why initiating sex or accepting an invitation to be sexual is difficult for you.

Are you able to be a good friend? The best sex is more than bumping parts. It’s a full human-to-human connection. If you know how to be a good friend, you’re more than half way there to being a good lover. There are all kinds of sexual expression — romantic to the passionate even spiritual. Sex can be a cuddly and romantic, or it can be hot monkey love. It can be tender as well as intense. You ought to have the ability direct the flow, or at least go with it.

Do you have an adventuresome side to you? Do you like a challenge? Are you comfortable experimenting with one thing or another? If you are, you will find these are all valuable assets in making sex happen for you. There are still a whole lot of sex-negative messages out there in our society. You’ll need to be strong enough to stand against these repressive currents and pursue your heart’s desire.

In the end, a good sex life takes effort. It takes knowledge, practice and relationship skills. A degree of personal openness and a sense of fun and adventure are also very helpful. Learning more about yourself and what makes you tick, will give you an advantage when the time is ready for you to partner up for sex.

Name: Walter
Gender: Male
Age: 67
Location: Padre Island
I’m a recent widower, I haven’t dated in over 40 years. I’m still very interested in sex, but things don’t work like they used to down there. I had a comfortable life with my wife and performance was never an issue. Now that I’m on my own now, I’m afraid I will disappoint, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, I think I do know what you mean. Getting back into the swing of things after so many years on the shelf a daunting task. If you layer on sexual performance issues…well the task becomes even harder, no pun intended.

I know I don’t have to tell you this, but our bodies change as we age. Our sexual response cycle changes too. You are familiar with the four stages of the sexual response cycle, right? In case you are not, they are — arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Despite the changes that aging brings, there’s no good reason why you shouldn’t be able to enjoy a happy, healthy sex life. Of course, having a healthy mind-set about sex will also help.

A rich and full sex life, possibly even like the one you shared with your recently departed wife, will involve some patience and understanding and possibly some reprogramming of old ways of looking at sex. For example, performance issues are only a problem if you are expecting something of your body that it cannot deliver. And if you date within your age group, you’ll find that all your peers will be just as familiar as you with dwindling physical capacities.

So ok, it’s gonna take considerably longer to get a hardon at your age — that’s a given. This just means you need to take your time, increase and focus the stimulation and while your cock is taking its sweet time to point skyward, enjoy all the sensual pleasures coming your way in the meantime. That last part is really difficult for us aging men folk. Sometimes we concentrate so fiercely on gettin our dick hard that we miss all the great pleasuring stuff that is happening all around us.

Once you get your boner goin, I suggest that you add a little stiffy insurance. Wear a cockring. If you don’t know what that is, check out my Sex Toy Review Site. Use the search function; type in “cockring” and presto! You’ll find all kinds of information on these helpful little buggers.

I know a number of older men, particularly those with high blood pressure, who are unable to take erection-enhancing meds like Viagra, who are turning to penis pumps to get their wood started. Not sure what a penis pump is or does. Well, time to do more online research at my Sex Toy Review Site. Again, use the search function; type in “penis pump” and presto! Loads of information about these helpful tools will appear.

I’m hoping that when you say that you and your wife “had a comfortable life” together, where performance was never an issue that you’re telling me that your sex life wasn’t all about getting it up and getting it off. Sexual pleasure can come through all kinds of sex play — touching, talking, and being physically close, oral sex as well as full on fucking. I’d be willing to guess that your future partners will appreciate you being a fully sensual lover, not just a sexual performer.

Remember the proverbial cum shot is not the same thing as an orgasm. Lots of seasoned older men are able to be orgasmic without a full erection or an ejaculation. You may even find that you are capable of several very satisfying mini orgasms instead of the one BIG-O of years past. I encourage you not to fall into the trap of equating sexual functioning with manliness; that’s a dead end.

This challenging new phase in your life, daunting as it might be, can also be an exciting adventure of self-discovery. You basically have permission to re-imagine and redefine what type of sexual expression suits you best at this stage in your life. One good way of testing the waters, so to speak is to start with self-pleasuring. This is the perfect opportunity to experiment with sexual performance enhancing toys like a cockring, vibrator or a penis pump. If you haven’t done so already, why not discover the pleasures of your ass. Happily, you don’t need an erection to enjoy some good old-fashioned butt play; your prostate will do all the work.

You may discover you have new or yet unexplored interests in other sexual expressions like role-playing, kink, or maybe even same-sex partners. Just because your earlier life may have been pretty straight and vanilla, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. The more you know about your body and what turns you on, the more information you’ll be able to share with your partners.

Unabashedly sharing your newfound sexual experiences and interests with others will be the basis for your future partnered sexual expression. Know that other women and men of your age group are also rediscovering and reawakening their sexuality. What a great joy it would be to explore the territory together.

I invite you to rekindle your natural curiosity about the wide range of human sexual expression. Take it slow. Learn to communicate effectively: share what makes you feel good with your partners and be sure to ask them what turns them on. Don’t take yourself too seriously, and keep it playful. And most of all, keep an open mind about all of this, will ya?

Good luck ya’ll

April 3, 2009January 8, 2013

On a need to know basis.

Name: Jackye
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Location: London.
Do you have a suggestion regarding sexual positions for easier anal sex?

I sure do, doll! Try it doggy style. It’s the most popular position for gettin’ it in the bum. It’s a very basic sex position, where the bottom bends over a bed, a couch, a chair, the whatnot shelf, and the top nails him or her in ass from behind. For obvious reasons, this position is also called as the rear entry position. And just so you know that we ain’t completely uncultured slobs here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice, the Latin name for doggy style is coitus ferarum, which literally means ‘fucking in the manner of the beasts’.

doggy_sex_position Doggie style is a preferred position for most people of the female persuasion, because it allows the top to directly stimulate the chick’s G spot for that really yummy feeling. This position also allows for a hands-free fuck. The top can busy his/her hands fondling the bottom’s tits and all his/her junk in the trunk. Similarly, the bottom’s hands are also free to diddle him or herself and or grab somethin of the top’s, like his nuts or her taint.

There is no major exertion of limb muscles, just as long as the top bends his/her bottom over something high enough so that he/she won’t have to strain his/her knees while gettin that hot monkey love.

Politically correct folks think this sexual position is too submissive for a woman in straight sex. She being pretty much locked position, and under the control of the male top. But I say, fuck political correctness. If you like this position, use it. Better yet, once you get nailed, strap one on and give as good as you get.

Like everything in life, the doggie position has some drawbacks. An inexperienced bottom may encounter discomfort, because the top can penetrate very deep in this position. For the romantics among us, they’ll be unable to maintain eye contact or kiss during the fuck. And of course, there is also no frontal visual stimulation, unless you’re bumping in front of a mirror. Which is never a bad idea.

I suggest you try “the woman-on-top” — cowgirl position too. See the photo below. This position will provide you more control over the depth and speed of your partner’s thrusts. cowgirl

Another swell position is the spoon position. Here the top lies on his/her side with knees bent slightly forward. The bottom lies in front, facing the other way and positions him/herself in such a way so that his/her butt lines up with the top’s dick or strap-on. This allows for a pretty much effortless fuck for both top and bottom. Folks have been known to fall asleep mid fuck in this position. Don’t let this happen to you. Hey, and it’s real easy for the couple to switch sides too.

The advantages of the spoon position are pretty clear, huh? Both the top and bottom are reclining. There is little to no exertion and it’s an ideal position for us older folk, or the truly jumbo among us. After the fuck is finished the couple can remain in this position for a very long time extending the afterglow.

The bottom can do the old reach around and grab somethin’ of the top’s to play with. The top can also reach around for easy access to tits and pussy or tits and cock. (Do you see how I’m going out of my way to be inclusive with instructions? I hope so.) And the lucky bottom gets the joy of being plugged and cuddled all at the same time. This might be a better option than doggie style for the inexperienced bottom, because he/she will have some control over the depth of the penetration.

While some folks think this position is downright boring, because it doesn’t involve much activity on the part of either top or bottom. The spoon position does get the politically correct seal of approval. It’s one of those egalitarian sexual positions, don’t cha know. Neither the top nor the bottom is in a superior position. Isn’t that special?

Name: Chad
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Alaska
My new girlfriend is 5 years older than me and she is a total freak. She has purple hair, 5 tattoos and a 7 piercings, including her labia. She wants me to get my dick pierced. I said I’d think about it, but she says I’m a pussy for putting it off. I know lots of guys have piercings, but is it safe?

I firmly believe in the right of every adult to augment, adorn and embellish, or in any other way customize his or her body. However, I draw the line at someone goading or harassing another person to do so. And it sounds to me like your freaky-deaky GF is badgering you to do just that. So if I were you, I’d tell her to back off till you can sanely make up your mind. It’s a good thing you’re being so thoughtful about this, because even though a piercing is not permanent, like a tattoo, there still are risks involved…more even than getting inked.

As body piercing becomes trendier in the popular culture, many people try to outdo each pa_0 other with unusual piercings. However, all the most common piercings have their roots in the traditions of tribal peoples throughout the world.

The first thing you should know is that body piercing is an art form. It is best practiced by well-trained, highly qualified and seasoned professionals. If you entrust your body to an amateur you’re asking for trouble. Do your homework. As piercing establishments proliferate, some will be better than others. In most jurisdictions piercers and their salons are required to be registered and licensed. You might want to check your local health department for a information and recommendations.

Before you decide to proceed, visit the piercer in his/her shop. Ask questions. Ask them how they sterilize their instruments and jewelry (autoclaving is the only safe method). Nowadays, all needles should be single use instruments. They should be opened just prior to the piercing, and then disposed of immediately thereafter. If the shop offers other adornments, like tattooing, make sure the piercing is done in a separate room (for privacy as well as hygiene).

Most people are initially concerned with the pain involved in getting pierced. Depending on what you’re getting pierced, there will be moderate to a whole lot of pain. And that’s just the beginning. Once the jewelry is in place there will be at least 2-3 days when the piercing area is very sensitive to the touch. Because some areas of the body have more blood vessels than others, like your dick for example, expect some blood loss and a lot of swelling post-piercing. Trust me, gettin’ a boner afterwards will be your worst nightmare.

That being said, you will be amazed at how resilient your body’s is. It has a phenomenal ability to heal itself. Of course, the practitioner should provide you with detailed aftercare instructions. These will outline all the procedures and aftercare products you’ll need to attend to yourself while you heal. A word of caution, if your general health is compromised in anyway; if you are sick, run- down or over-worked, or immune-compromised in any way, your body’s ability to heal will be decreased and there will be an increase in the risk of infection.

As you heal, any pressure on a piercing has the potential to aggravate and inflame the site. You’d best refrain from contact sports, manual labor, or anything else that irritate your new piercing. Most piercings take a minimum of 6 weeks to heal. Wearing tight clothes, touching the piercing with dirty hands, contact with bodily fluids, rough treatment, and using inappropriate cleaning agents will diminish your body’s ability to heal and increase the risk of infection. Hey, and don’t skimp on the quality of jewelry you choose either. Poor grade jewelry can fuck up the piercing big time.

Given all the pain and risks, you might ask, why do people bother getting pierced at all? Well, that’s pretty easy to answer. Piercings aficionados agree; a piercing enhances sex by providing a greater degree of stimulation to one’s self and one’s partner.

The most popular cock piercings is the Prince Albert. It has the fastest healing time and is considered the most sexually appealing of cock piercings. It enters the urethra and exits immediately behind the glans on the underside of the cock. There is a variation called the reverse Prince Albert, which enters the urethra and exits on the top of the dick head. This piercing requires less cleaning than most since urine aids in the healing process. However afterwards, most men find that they have to sit down to pee or they dribble all over themselves. You’ll need to allow one week of sexual abstinence post piercing and 2-4 months for it to heal completely. In the interim always use a condom until you’re fully healed.

Good luck ya’ll

Don’t forget the Seattle Fetish & Fantasy Festival!

Lookin’ for a little somethin’ that will perk up that ho-hum sex life of yours? I thought so. Well then, here’s your opportunity to learn a few new tricks. (Along with a slew of other sex-positive adults of every persuasion.)

I’ll be there, so you know it’s gonna be good. Hell, if you’re lucky, and register early, you can even take one of my workshops. YOU CAN REGISTER ONLINE!

April 10-11, 2009
2 Days of Classes,
Music & Food

Be there or be square!

March 6, 2009September 1, 2013

The Coast Is Clear

Name: ??
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Location: Miami
I have two unrelated questions: 1. I love anal sex but am concerned that as I age I run the risk of eventually becoming incontinent due to the sexual activity down there. Is this a valid concern or will my sphincter remain tight enough to hold everything in? I’ve read conflicting opinions. 2. My boyfriend likes the twinks. We’ve been together for about four years and even though I’m only a year younger (he‚s 35), part of the reason he’s attracted to me is my youthful appearance. We have a wonderful relationship — supportive and loving and the sex is great! We even have a semi-open relationship, which is working fine for us so far. However, I’m concerned that at some point he may try something with someone under 18. He enjoys visiting those Barely Legal type porn sites (which hold no interest for me and look illegal). I’ve discussed my concerns with him, and he says I have nothing to worry about because he’d never do anything. But on the other hand, he’s not the most disciplined person in the world. I’m worried that if the opportunity presented itself he wouldn’t be able to resist. If that happened, it would then present emotional and moral problems not to mention legal issues not just for him but (I’m assuming) for me as well. I guess
I’m not sure what my question is. I know the gay community (and really the world) is obsessed with youth, but does this sound like more than that? Do I have a legitimate concern, or am I being a prude? Obviously you don’t know my boyfriend, but I can’t discern if he just enjoys the fantasy of a younger man/boy or if this could become a problem. If it’s just a fantasy then I have no problem letting him have his fun. Heck, he can fuck all the 20 year olds he wants as far as I’m concerned. (Maybe this stems from my insecurity of growing older even though he insists he will love me even when I’m old and grey). But, if this is more than a fantasy then what do I do?
Thanks, Dr. Dick! Your faithful reader

Let’s address your two concerns in turn. First, regarding your ass sex question. Your typical butt-pirate has nothing to worry about in terms of becoming incontinent. However, you oughta do what every power bottom does to stay in tip-top shape down there — Kegel exercises.

Don’t know kegel exercises from a hole in your head? Not to worry. I’ve written and spoken so much about this timely topic, whicht applies to both men and women, I barely have the energy to repeat myself. So I won’t!

All ya gotta do is use the SEARCH function in the sidebar to your right. Simply type in the keyword “kegels” and PRESTO! Just like magic, all my posting and podcasts that include that topic are displayed. You can read and listen till your heart’s content.

To your other concern, the one about your BF’s interest in the barely-legal crowd; there’s not much you can do about this one way or another. Most of the adult people I know who have a thing for the young ones keep it on a purely fantasy level. Those who stray off the daydream path and onto a course of actual pursuit find themselves in all kinds of jeopardy. Not lest of which is the ridiculous nature of the quest. Sounds to me like your BF already knows all of this. But if he doesn’t, it’ll be he who pays, not you.

My advice to you is; take him at his word and worry not.

Name: james
Gender: Male
Age: 48
Location: sutton in ashfield
I have large veins that stick out on my testicles are these anything to worry about

Some guys have smooth balls; some guys have hairy balls; some guys have veiny balls and some guy’s balls are all shriveled up. That’s all balls_uncut there is to it.

As we age some of us develop varicose veins in our lower extremities. It’s the force of gravity, don’t cha know. Varicose veins can occur in our nut sack too. Sometimes this is associated with wearing a too tight cockring for too long a time. But it is just as likely to be an issue of genetics. Not much you can do about it and there is no real danger.

If you aren’t experiencing any discomfort in your family jewels, things are probably ok and I wouldn’t worry. However, if you are anxious about this, or there is soreness or tenderness or you have other concerns; take your huevos to an MD and have ‘em checked out. Simple as all that!

Name: Marcus
Gender: Male
Age: 47
Location: Southeast US
I am intrigued by nipple suction pumps, but cannot find much information about their effectiveness on guys. How long do your nipples stay enlarged? Is there any risk or danger in using one of these contraptions? Thanks for any help/direction you can give!

Nipple play is fun for both women and men. There are several ways of enlarging one’s nipples. There are low-tech suction devices, metal stretchers and the more high-tech vacuum devices. All of these systems are very popular. Have a look in My Stockroom for some examples. Just search the site using the key word “nipple”.

Wireless Vibrating Nipple Clamps (D120) $32.00
Tit Tuggers (C656) $125.00
The Titilizer (A237) $16.50
10-Piece Cupping Set (B264) $57.00
Snake Bite Kit (A300) $8.00
Nipple Suction Device (B092) $18.00

If you are a casual tit-torturer your nipples will stay enlarged for a few hours. If you are a hardcore tit-torturer you can completely and permanently alter the look of your nipples. Is there a risk or is there danger? Not unless you overdo it.

Name: Tara
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Location: Hoboken, NJ
I got this cute guy friend who’s asked if he can come on my vacation to Bangor, Maine (Stephen King’s home!). So I asked this guy, who’s single, if he wants one bed or two. He said it didn’t matter, so I booked one bed at the hotel. Does this mean he wants to have sex with me? I’m dumping down a ton of money, so I hope so!

How the hell should I know? He could be hot to get in your pants, or he might simply need an all expense paid holiday.

Why not just ask him. What’s with the coy routine? Of course, you could do like the hippies used to do and tell your cute guy friend — “Ass, gas or grass! No one rides for free.”

gasgrassass

Hi, I have a question that I can not ask anyone else so I found your web site and would really appreciate your advice. Ok, so when I have sex sometimes instead of cuming when I have an orgasm, I pee. Sometimes I do cum though. But when it feels really good and I release, I release pee instead of cum. I just want to know if this happens to other people, and why this happens. And can I fix this. What can I do to make this not happen? I don’t like it happening. I feel bad for my boyfriend who has to have pee on his penis. Please, please, please take the time to reply to me. Thank you for your time. Have a great day.
— Anonymous.

Are you sure that what you are experiencing is pee? Could it possibly be that you are ejaculating? For a good deal of information on this, check out the site called The Clitoris.

Of course, lots of women feel like they have to pee when they cum. In fact, lots of women actually do pee as they cum.

If indeed you are peeing when you cum, I’d say you are experiencing what we in the business call — stress incontinence.

Stress incontinence can happen just about any time. Anxiety, stress, working out, jogging, fucking crreampie1 can all trigger this type of incontinence.

Curiously enough, research shows that younger women actually have more stress incontinence during sex than do older women. While only 3% of women over age 65 reported incontinence during sexual activity, 29% of women under age 60 did.

Regardless of the cause of the stress incontinence — nervousness, exercise or sex there is one common denominator. It’s always related to the strength of a woman’s pelvic floor muscles. The weaker those muscles are, the more likely a woman will leak pee during physical exercise, fucking, sneezing or even laughing.

While many women experience stress incontinence from time to time, there’s a relatively simple solution to the problem. Your pelvic muscles and the tissues surrounding them get stretched out and damaged with time. Pregnancies will also do a number on these muscles. They also weaken with age. And if you are overweight, well that will weaken pelvic floor muscles too as well as add to the likelihood of stress incontinence.

So you might be asking right about now, what IS this simple solution? Why, it’s Kegel exercises, of course. (See my response to the first correspondent above.)

Good luck ya’ll

February 20, 2009January 8, 2013

Swingtime!

Look for my new

Product Review!

REVIEW #32

Hey sex fans!

I have two more outstanding DVD reviews for you. My Three Way
and Amazing Sex For Women.

On several occasions I’ve called my audience’s attention to the fantastic video work my friend and colleague, Dr Michael Perry, is been doing over at AIM (Access Instructional Media). And for good reason too, because Michael is a master of the sexual enrichment genre. (See REVIEW #7 below.)

As an aside, Michael was my guest for a couple of podcasts chats — #61 and #62. During our conversation, Michael discusses his work and the astounding success he is having with his video line. Be sure to check out these podcasts.

Just for the record, Michael’s DVDs knock me out. In terms of sex education and sexual enrichment the AIM titles are unparalleled.

Let’s take a look at each of these DVDs each in turn.

We start with My Three Way — Approx 120 minutes $19.95

The promotional copy on the DVD box reads: “How is it possible for couples to bring a third person into their intimate relationship? Many have thought about it. Lots of people fantasize about it. Some couples are actually practitioners in Open Relationship lifestyles.
• Find out why couples do it.
• See what they dare to do…to supercharge their relationship!
• Be tempted to arrange your own three way…at least in your fantasies!

The DVD begins with a quick overview of the entire Intimacy Guide Series.

First off, we meet couple #1 in a cocktail lounge gettin all lovey-dovey. Another woman, an acquaintance of the male partner winds up getting involved. (Surprise!) Before things get all hot and heavy though there is a brief spliced-in interview with the couple about why and how they do what they do. Curiously enough, this is not a distraction from the action, but it actually adds to the story telling. What follows is a beautiful 2-gal and 1-guy 3-way. The sexual interaction in this piece is nicely shared between all the players, including gal-on-gal play.

There’s another interview snippet followed by a sweet gal-on-gal segment.

This is followed by yet another brief interview segment and a very sexy 2-guy and 1-gal 3-way. All the sexual interaction in this piece is focused on the woman; the men do not interact sexually. This may appeal to some, but it will be disappointing to others.

There is a bonus featurette on this DVD called My Birthday Surprise, which is another fine example of a 2-gal and 1-guy 3-way.

There is ample and diverse sexual expression in all the scenes. And there is some nice use of sex toys too, which really adds to the production.

This is a wonderful primer on the ins and outs (no pun intended) of initiating and successfully executing a 3-way. Like the promotional copy on the box suggests, if you are actually looking to open your relationship to include a 3rd or just think the 3-way idea is hot fantasy material, this is the DVD for you.

Here’s a tip: for those of you who can’t, for whatever reason, buy this DVD you can rent it HERE for viewing online in Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

Remember, this is not porn. While the content is sexually explicit, the material is presented in a tasteful and romantic manner. Kudos to Michael Perry for producing this delightful and informative female oriented video.

Next we have — Amazing Sex For Women — 90 minutes $19.95

The promotional copy on the DVD box reads: “The Bonk’er Spring is a truly revolutionary sex toy invented with the women’s pleasure in mind. This video shows you sex techniques not possible with any other sex gear. See our fun loving couples bounce weightlessly towards powerful orgasm after orgasm!”

What we have here is basically an infomercial for a rather amazing sex innovation from Bonkum, a

company that develops sex furniture. It’s part spring, part swing and part sling. Try to say that three times fast!

With the help of a few adventuresome couples (and a 2-gal, one guy threesome) this video shows how easy and enjoyable it is to have a very athletic and versatile sex life. The Bonkum swing is really interesting and amazingly adaptable. Makes creative sex play not only enjoyable, but also effortless.

This video is full of wonderful eye candy of the heterosexual variety. Too bad there’s not any man on man action to please the rest of us. (Perhaps that will happen in another video.) But there is a very nice light BDSM scene that will get your motor racing.

For those of you who can’t buy this DVD, for whatever reason, you can rent it HERE for viewing online in Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

Again, I want to emphasize something about all the AIM titles. Each is very sexy and sensual; most are sexually explicit; but none of them can rightly be called porn. This is an important distinction, because the tone and focus of the AIM titles is completely different from the tone and focus of porn. And even people who are put off by the notion of porn will have no objection to these videos.

ENJOY!

…all my reviews here

Look for REVIEW #32

December 26, 2008January 8, 2013

Time after time

Name: Frasier
Gender:
Age: 63
Location: Southern Calif
I’ve been a widower for 9 years now. But before she died it was always my fantasy to see her suck another guy’s cock. Since she’s passed away I’ve had this fantasy of me sucking another guy’s cock. This never crossed my mind before she died. Can you help me understand this?

Hmmm, Frasier, let me see if I got this straight. You’ve been a widower for 9 years. However, while your wife was still living you had a fantasy of watching her suck another guy’s cock. Ok, not a particularly odd fetish that. But I am unclear about one thing. Did this wife sucking other guy’s cock actually happen, or not? Not that this is particularly important, just wondering. So, now 9 years later you say you suddenly have the urge to smoke some pole yourself, even though you’ve never thought of doing this before. Is this correct?

Ahhh even if I understand you correctly, I don’t get the question. Wait, maybe there is no question? Maybe you’re just curious about why a 63 year old confirmed, dyed in the wool straight heterosexual guy like you suddenly realizes he want to suck himself some cock. I can see how you might find this little discovery a bit disconcerting, but it’s certainly not unprecedented. I guess you’re being startled out of our sexual complacency, huh? Not to worry, it may simply be situational. You are probably worried that this makes you queer, right? I think we can safely say that your curious new interest means no such thing.

Let’s just say for the sake of argument that you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other dude’s johnson. Ok, then what? Well, basically nothing. If you find, after this little adventure, that you don’t much like sucking cock and that you’re really still into pussy. No harm done. You experimented a little and you now have more information about yourself then you did before the experimental blowjob. You may simply discover that you only like having your female partners do the cock sucking while you do the watching. Like I said, a relatively harmless and unremarkable fetish.

But, what if you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you actually take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other guy’s johnson and you really like it. Well that’s a horse of different color, isn’t it? Then you’ll have to come to grips with the realization that despite you long history of straight heterosexualism, you might be, at this point in your life, kinda bisexual. How fun for you!

There is of course another explanation. Some exclusively straight heterosexual guys suck dick not because it’s a turn on…the dick sucking that is. They do it to be submissive. Alrighty, whatever turns one’s crank!

I think we can safely say that for the most part, humans are not sexual automatons. Given a more permissive and sex-positive culture then our own, we’d all be more fluid in our eroticism and sexual expression. It’s true; you are in unfamiliar waters, sexually speaking. But it’s just a little adventure, not the end of the world. I hope you give yourself permission to experiment a bit.

Ya know, you could hook up with a male escort or see an erotic masseur for a little taste. In fact, I’d tell the provider what you just told me. Let him know you’re looking to experiment a little, but you’re unsure how to begin. I’ll bet the provider will be very helpful. Write back sometime, I’d love to know how it goes for you.

Name: Joey
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: Southern Calif
Love doing tina with masturbation and watching really hot porn. Think this is just social fun?

Nope, I don’t Joey. Despite the prevalence of this dastardly drug, there is nothing fun about tina…crystal meth for those unfamiliar with the term “tina”. If you love doing tina for whatever reason, I’d wager you’re hooked on that shit.

Listen, I’m not prude when it comes to using some drugs recreationally. But I think that we’d do well to stick to those drugs that are more natural. The less processing involved (and meth is the worst in that regard) and fewer added chemicals (OMG, the crap they put in crystal) the better, in my humble opinion.

Despite the admitted high ya get, recent research shows that long-term meth use destroys nerve cells in the brain that regulate dopamine, muscle movement, memory, and decision-making. This damage can be wide-spread and permanent.

Your body reacts to crystal meth the same way it reacts to danger. Crystal floods the body with adrenaline — the same hormone that prepares us for emergencies. Adrenaline gives a super-charge of strength and endurance so the body can deal with danger and injury. But artificially triggering this response over and over again will have serious consequences.

When you use crystal, your nervous system shifts into high gear. The brain floods your body with “danger” messages. Your body responds immediately to what it thinks is a threat. It prepares to fight or to run away. Common body responses to perceived danger include:

Pupils dilate to let in more light.
Hair stands on end (“getting goose bumps”).
Blood vessels just under the skin constrict.
Body temperature goes up

Regular, long-term crystal use will diminish sores of neurotransmitters. Episodes of paranoia and anxiety become more frequent and longer lasting. Blocked blood vessels within the brain can lead to increased chances of stroke.

Crystal fucks with your dopamine levels. Dopamine delivers a sense of reward and pleasure. It is also associated with body movement. Too little dopamine causes paralysis or a Parkinson’s-like tremors and rigidity. Too much dopamine and a person can become paranoid, hear voices and get twisted thoughts. Sound familiar?

Crystal fucks with your serotonin levels. Serotonin is involved in regulating sleep and sensory perception. It plays a role in moods and regulating body temperature. Serotonin is involved with many emotional disorders like schizophrenia, phobias, super-aggressive states and obsessive-compulsive behavior. Too much serotonin can make it difficult (or impossible) to have an orgasm. And of course there’s the dreaded “crystal dick”…the inability to get it up.

Joey, listen up! You’re way too young with too much of your life ahead of you to self-inflict so much serious irreparable damage on yourself. If this weren’t such a troublesome drug, there wouldn’t be such a virulent anti and reformed tweeker community out there. Want to know the real truth about “tina” check in at: crystalmeth.org. You’ll be glad you did.

Name: Shelly
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: Raleigh, NC
My boyfriend and I are 20. We’ve been together for almost two years and we’re in love. But we have a problem. I’m pro-choice and he isn’t. He says he won’t have sex with me unless I agree to have the kid if I get pregnant. I told him there’s no way I can agree to that. It’s my choice because it’s my body. But then he says it’s his choice to stop having sex with me because he disagrees with my views. Where do I go from here? I’m not ready to start a family; we’re not even married.

Ya know, Shelly, if men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

Where do you go from here? Simply put? Hit the road; or better yet, tell him to. This dude who you say you love and loves you back is actually trying to control you with his dick. That’s never a good thing. It would also set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your relationship. Because if he gets his way on this one; mark my words, he’ll try the same dickhead ploy over and over again. I realize you don’t have much of a frame of reference about these things, being as young as you are. But healthy adult relationships don’t come with sexual ultimatums. EVER.

There is of course a way to have your cake and eat it too. You can enjoy a full and rich sex life and avoid unplanned pregnancies all at the same time. Let me introduce you kids to a little concept we call contraception.

WTF, you’re both 20 years old, you should have a handle on elementary notion already. Where have you been all your life? Both of you should be well versed in several methods of contraception. And you both should practice at least one foolproof method. If you are too immature to put this together, I can assure you you’re way to immature to commence fucking. Get it?

Here’s the deal. I’m not a big fan of abortion either, especially when it’s used as the primary means of avoiding a pregnancy. And since there’s a very safe and easy way to avoid this unfortunate moral dilemma, you guys would be fools not to take advantage of it. But wait! What if the BF is opposed to contraception? It sure sounds to me like he might. Well then you really are shit out of luck. No fucking for you till you’re married. No, till you are absolutely ready to conceive, even if that’s well after you’re married. Because you know you’re gonna get knocked up the very first time you let him near your pussy.

Mutual masturbation works an alternative to full on fucking. But probably there’s some prohibition against that in his world too, huh? So you see why I said at the beginning that your best option is to hit the road, or tell him to.

Good luck ya’ll

Lookin’ for a good time?

Check out Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

December 12, 2008January 8, 2013

Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…and Gentlewomen

Look for my new

Product Reviews!

REVIEW #28

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27. You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out. Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos. I’m a big fan of Hans’. He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist. He really knows his wood and his woodies! We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs. When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken: “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza. I lucked out! Denise and I have a real beauty.”
Denise: “That is so true. Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken: “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own. I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise: “I stand corrected. Maybe I need to be punished. 😉
Ken: “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise: “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken: “We seem to be veering off topic. Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo. It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry. Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”

Read more of this review here

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina: “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other! Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”
Kevin: “I got such a kick out of this. And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina: “Bondage Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom. It is always in reach. There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe. I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin: “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs. What a hoot! Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie. Little do they know.”

Read more of this review here

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin: “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one. That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size. It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina: “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot. It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of your hands.”
Kevin: “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!! Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina: “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with. Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy. If they only knew.

Read more of this review here

Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.

Fun Finger $20.00

Jada: At first I thought this was some kind of gag. I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d find on one of those prank websites. It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible. It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this. I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.

I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb. It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation. There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear. And that would very unpleasant indeed.

Read more of this review here

Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixie

Dixie: “This is our second go around with these sorts of products. Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets. You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy: “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other. For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie: “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better. It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy: “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease. The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”

Read more of this review here

Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit .

Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” 😉
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”

Read more of this review here

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy: “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie: “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”
Joy: “I loves me my strap-ons! I have quite a collection. Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie: “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy: “It is that! It is also reversible and machine washable. I love that part. I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie: “It’s also fully adjustable. It would have to be to fit both Joy and I. We have such different body types.”

Read more of this review here

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank introduce us to Rachel’s Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs).

Hank: “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”
Glenn: “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”
Hank: “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”
Glenn: “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed
Hank: “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”
Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”

Read more of this review here

So there ya have it, Sex Fans. We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas. Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.

December 5, 2008January 8, 2013

Fa la la la la, La la la la

Look for my new

Product Reviews!

REVIEW #27

Hey sex fans,

Holy mackerel! It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1 or 2 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25 and 26. You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has our review apparatus workin’ overtime. We want to get as many reviews out there before the end of the year. Because we certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as it were. This week, we have yet another hot juicy load of swell holiday gift giving ideas for you. And guess what? They are all GREEN.

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25
Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23
Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25, 26
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24
Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24

First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art. They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost. Can you stand it? They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.

Hart $69.00

Joy & Dixie introduce us to Hart.

Joy: “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages. I’ve admired them online and even held a few in my hands at our local sex emporium. But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”
Dixie: “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance. And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy: “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation. But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges. I love my dildos ridged!”
Dixie: “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too. And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming. It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”
Joy: “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way. And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes. We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”

Read more of this review here

Whimsy $69.00

Glenn & Hank introduce us to Whimsy.

Hank: “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”
Glenn: “I just love that name! ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”
Hank: “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”
Glenn: “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”
Hank: “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning, do we? Good!”
Glenn: “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”
Hank: “Oh, ok! It’s made of American Cherry wood.”
Glenn: “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”
Hank: “You are such a dork!”
Glenn: “You love it!”
Hank: “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded. Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped. There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”
Glenn: “Mmmm, in and out!”
Hank: “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”
Glenn: “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say? And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven. And this thing warms to my body very fast. It’s like totally awesome.”

Read more of this review here

Keeping with today’s GREEN theme we’ve got a couple of delicious products from a little company in Vancouver, BC called Hathor Aphrodisia.

Lubricant Pure 4 oz $18.00 CAD

I, Dr Dick, have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to Lubricant Pure. I am so fond of this mighty-mite of a company from right here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. What a joy it is to bring their products to your attention.

Ya’ll know my passion for GREEN adult products, right? Hathor Aphrodisia is a boutique company that brings us only a few choice products, but each one is a work of love.

Lubricant Pure is an exceptionally fine personal lube. It contains pure botanical emollients including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng, which are supposed to have aphrodisiacal properties. Can’t honestly say I noticed any difference in my sexual response cycle. But as my granny used to say, ‘It couldn’t hurt!’”

Read more of this review here

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD

Gina & Kevin introduce us to Lubricant Lickeurs from Hathor Aphrodisia.

Gina: “I’ve never been one for flavored lubes. The whole concept seems silly to me. But I also don’t like the taste of regular lubes. They taste funny. Basically, I just avoid, as much as possible, coming in oral contact with any lube. So when we were asked to review Lubricant Lickeurs I said to myself, ‘Oh ick!”
Kevin: “I was of the same mind as Gina. I mean, how juvenile? By the way, I love the natural taste of Gina’s pussy, like fresh out of her panties. I suppose it helps that she vegan. Her juices are naturally sweet and I can eat her all day long.”
Gina: “He sure is talented in the department, I must say. There was a time that I was uncomfortable with him doing oral on me, but now I love it. It helps that it isn’t a chore for him. It’s taken me probably as long to warm to the idea of giving oral to Kevin too. But now I’m such a bad girl that I don’t even give it a second thought.”
Kevin: “Actually, she’s a natural-born cocksucker. She just needed to liberate herself from all the Catholic school repression.”
Gina: “But enough about us; back to the Lubricant Lickeurs. Neither one of us wanted to disappoint the good Dr, so we agreed to try it.”
Kevin: “And damn if we both don’t absolutely love this stuff.”
Gina: “Yeah, so much for our natural prejudices, huh? But I must say, Lubricant Lickeurs is a grown-ups version of flavored lubes.”
Kevin: “It’s like Hathor Aphrodisia didn’t simply make a lube and then try to flavor it as an afterthought with some artificial flavoring.”

Read more of this review here

To continue this week’s GREEN, and I might add YUMMY, theme we veer toward the food end of the spectrum. Jack & Karen introduce us to the delicious, yet oh so helpful, teas from the good people at Intimate Teas.

My Maple Cookie 12 bags — $32.00

Karen: “This is so cool. I’m a big tea drinker. Never been one for coffee, but I do know my teas. And since I’m a naturally hyper kinda gal, I try to avoid caffeine as much as possible. These teas are delicious and they are herbal.”
Jack: “I, on the other hand, am not a big tea drinker, but I agree; these teas are good. There’s an earthiness to them that I really liked.
Karen: “First up today is My Maple Cookie. I love it; what a name. This tea is a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like maple cookies. How fun is that?”
Jack: “Who would have guessed something like this was even possible. I have to admit, it’s the damnedest thing. Karen and I shared the tin of 12 tea bags over a 10 day period. We both noticed a difference in the way we smelled and tasted. Don’t get me wrong; I love the natural taste of she and me, but this is way fun.”

Read more of this review here

Jack: “Next up we have Screaming O tea. The Intimate Teas people get high marks for the clever names and the packaging.”
Karen: “They sure enough do! This tea is a premium blend of unique herbs made to increase sexual passion in both women and men. It is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, sexual stimulant and it’s supposed to intensify orgasms.”
Jack: “That’s what it says on the website. I was dubious…at first. I figured, I already have intense orgasms, do I really need to improve on that…even if it’s possible?”
Karen: “Things are much different for us gals, but I think you know that already. I felt like the tea really did stimulate me. And maybe it was only wishful thinking, but I felt my orgasms intensified too.”
Jack: “Again, I defer to my lovely wife. One thing for sure; this tea is a stimulant. The first time I had this tea was near bedtime. I thought, a nice cup of warm tea will make me sleep like a baby. NOT! I tossed and turned all night long. But I did have a raging boner in the morning. I don’t know if those two thing are connected, but they did follow one after the other.”

Read more of this review here

December 1, 2008June 25, 2018

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #90 — 12/01/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a whopper of a show for you today. We return to our usual question and answer format this week, because I have a steamy load of stimulating questions from all overt the freakin’ place. And I respond with an equal number of cheeky, charming and oh so enlightening responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

Joe wants to know about Hepatitis-B and cock sucking.
Donna and her BF wanna start bumpin’ parts. But where to begin?
Gregg thinks he needs a sex coach. I think he does too.
Naf wants to top, but he is a little short of wood!
Anonymous wants some tips on ball stretching.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: ROPEX.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

November 21, 2008January 8, 2013

COMFORT AND JOY

Look for my new

Product Reviews!

REVIEW #25

Hey sex fans,

I know it’s hard to believe, but the freakin’ holidays are upon us once again. Bah Humbug!

So ok not everyone is not a Scrooge, like me. That’s why the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear. We want to get as many reviews out there in the next month as possible. We want you to have a load of swell holiday gift giving ideas, don’t cha k now.

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18
Ken & Denise — Review #11, 16
Carlos — Reviews #4
Mick & Chuck— Reviews #12

Let’s start things off with a little COMFORT!

Jack & Karen introduce us to Pleasure Pack Combo.
The Right Position Sex Pillow Combo —— $89.00

Karen: “I’m just wild about The Right Position Sex Pillow. Until the day Jack and I picked up the Pleasure Pack Combo at Dr Dick’s, I hadn’t given much thought to how exceptionally useful a specialized cushion like this could be.”
Jack: “I totally agree. Ya see the sex pillow is wedge shaped (about 6” at its widest), which allows us to position our bodies for a more accommodating and comfortable fuck.”
Karen: “But it’s not just for fucking, although I must say it is ideal for anal sex, but I’ll get to that in a minute. What I like most is that it raises my pelvis just enough so that Jack can pleasure me orally. And The Right Position Sex Pillow is so comfortable too”

Read more of this review here

And now for a whole lot of JOY!

Mick & Chuck introduce us to Smooth Glider.

Smooth Glider $89.95

Mick: “Hey, it’s great to be back as part of the Dr Dick Review Crew.
Chuck: “This is the dream “job. What’s not to love about getting free sex toys? And we loves us some toys.”
Mick: “Yeah, but we’re also informing people about what to look for in quality products while avoiding the junk.”
Chuck: “Exactly! Speaking of quality, check out our Smooth Glider. It’s stunning. It’s made of Pyrex glass.”
Mick: “It’s approximately 7 inches long and 1 1/4 inches in diameter with a nicely sculpted head that measures approximately 1 1/2 inches in diameter. It weighs a hefty 12.4 oz. And the sucker is smooth as glass…thus the name. Duh!
Chuck: “Well a lot of glass dildos are textured. This one happens to be smooth. But it does have a nice curve to it. It’s perfect for prostate stimulation.”
Mick: “Or G-Spot stimulation, if you have one of those.” 😉
Chuck: “The first thing you need to know is that not all glass dildos are created equal. There are plenty of cheap knock-offs out there that I wouldn’t stick in my ass for a million bucks. But the Smooth Glider is top of the line.”

Read more of this review here

Next up, Ken & Denise introduce us to one of the beauties from NobEssence — TRYST.

TRYST $180.00

Denise: “Thank you for the warm welcome to the Dr Dick Review Crew. It’s been a blast…literally and figuratively.”
Ken: “Denise has been eager to join our little club since our adventures with The Vergenza Mk. I.”
Denise: “This time we have an equally beautiful and oh so functional dildo/massager, TRYST. It’s sculpted wood. Isn’t it gorgeous?
Ken: “Yeah, like The Vergenza Mk. I, TRYST is a work of art.
Denise: “It’s is ‘double header’, if you will. One end is round, smooth and bulbous. It is uniquely shaped to stimulate either G-spot or P-spot. The other end is a beaded sort of thing that supplies the most delicious rippling sensation. And each end is perfectly angled to act as a handle when the other end slides into place. It’s brilliant!”
Ken: “I’ve never used anything like it. I mean, it’s10” long. The bulb end is 1 1/2” at the tip, but it then widens to a 2” body before the traditional plug notch. The beaded end is curved, but smaller— an 1” at its widest point.”
Denise: “And, of course, TRYST can be used vaginally and anally. Or did you already get that from my G-spot or P-spot reference? I’m a little slow sometimes.”

Read more of this review here

Finally, Carlos introduces us to another beauty from NobEssence — ROMP.

ROMP $110

Carlos: “It’s great to be back with some of my old review pals and some new ones too.

I feel a little odd being the only single person here, but my ROMP is perfect for solitary use. It’s an exquisite wooden butt plug/prostate massager.

Before I continue with a description, I want to say that I agree with everything Ken and Denise said about their sculpture. And since you just heard from them, I won’t repeat it all myself.

ROMP is the best prostate massager I’ve ever used. And I’ve tried several. It fits snug and stays in place because of the notch between the handle and the rounded insertable end. And it’s designed to be worn for extended periods of time. The longer you wear it, the better it feels. Dr Dick and I are both big advocates of prostate self-awareness and prostate massage. And this is the perfect ‘tool’ for that.

Read more of this review here

November 14, 2008January 8, 2013

No, seriously…

Name: PaunFarr
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Location: Ohio
Dr. Dick, I’m feeling the intense letdown of the ballot issues passed this week in California, Florida and Arkansas. Especially CA, where they had gay marriage but now have lost it, and my heart goes out for all those married couples now in limbo. I don’t understand this. Ohio passed their “marriage protection” act a couple years ago, and it was a devastating blow to me. Why is ok for the majority to restrict the rights of the minority? Where is our defender? Where is justice simply because it’s the right thing, not necessarily the popular thing? Will Barack Obama be able to turn around the tide of hatred and discrimination that George Bush has sewn for eight years? How long must we wait to be recognized as equal citizens and not made to feel like the lowest form of person possible? Looking for some advice on how to hold my head high when we’re so often given the message to slink away.

Yeah, I’m bummed too. But the November 4th vote is not the end of the story. There are many more chapters yet to be written. Don’t let your disappointment and frustration take the wind out of your sails.

The very first thing I learned in the 30 plus years I’ve spent fighting for human rights, is that equality and justice never comes easily. The second thing I learned is that my dignity and self-worth is not dependent on the approbation of others.

You learn to hold your head up because you KNOW you are as good as anyone else. You fight inequality and injustice wherever you find it, not just in the gay community. You make allies of all the other people in your community who are marginalized for whatever reason. You build a coalition. When your efforts fail, as they often will, you support and encourage your colleagues and plan your next assault on the in equitable and unjust system. In fact, you redouble your grassroots organizing to broaden your base by reaching out to others in a language they will understand. One thing is certain; other minorities will not automatically understand your oppression as a gay man any more than you will automatically understand what oppresses them. But working together to find common ground will provide you the means to achieve your goals of equality in the dominant culture. That’s how it’s done.

And ya know what? This struggle is never over. If you leave the battle once your rights have been secured, then you signal to your allies that you were only in it for yourself. Nothing will undermine a coalition faster than selfishness.

Whatever you do, don’t be lookin for a defender to swoop in and save the day for you. That’s the stuff of fairytales. If you’re not on the front lines making this coalition happen, then don’t expect anyone, from the president on down, to come to your rescue. Remember, dignity is not the result of the struggle; dignity is in the struggle. Make this your life’s work and you won’t be discouraged with one, or even several, set backs.

Name: Paige
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Location: Tulsa
I am engaged to a wonderful guy. I’m excited about my upcoming marriage, but I’m also afraid that it will fail. I know you are going to think we’re freaks, but my fiancé and I have decided to save ourselves for after we are married. Some of our friends even our recently married friends are having trouble with their relationship and with the divorce rate so high, what are the chances that my marriage will work? Do I just have cold feet or am I not ready to get married?

First off, I don’t think you’re a freak for reserving full sexual expression till after you are married. It wasn’t too long ago when that sort of thing was the norm. And as you say, even though nowadays most people enter marriage as established sex partners, that alone won’t insure a marriage will be a success.

So ok, if a successful marriage is not dependent on sexual experience what does it take to make a marriage work? Hell, if I knew that I’d bottle it and make myself a well deserved fortune.

For the sake of argument, let’s just say you are the marrying kind and that you simply have cold feet, like every bride and groom to be does. Let’s say that you and your fiancé have made the right choice…for you…to enter your marriage as virgins. What’s next? Possibly you need to jettison the Pollyanna notion that marriage is a breeze. Your recently married friends are having problems because there are always problems in a marriage. It’s the nature of the beast. Hopefully, the problems you guys will face won’t be insurmountable. But, sure as shootin’, problems will be your constant companions, sometimes they’ll even big problems. So count on it and prepare yourself accordingly.

If you have an unwavering commitment to one another to do whatever it takes to make your overall relationship work, you’ll probably be ok. Being sexually unfamiliar with one another may be a liability or it might be an asset. One thing is certain, if you guys start to have problems with the whole sex thing, as often happens for newlyweds, get help right away. There should be no shame or embarrassment about that. In fact, you might want to be proactive and start looking around for sexual enrichment courses or videos to help you grow together as lovers. Look to my Product Review Page for some video and toy suggestions.

Here are some generic tips. Great sex is dependent on mutuality. Be sure your partner knows he or she is loved, appreciated and respected. One of you may discover that he or she has a stronger libido than the other. That’s pretty common. Deal with this immediately, like adults. Don’t wait for your relationship to go broken. Accommodations and compromise are always necessary in seeking the common good. And people come to compromise and accommodation through effective communication. If you don’t know how to do that, your relationship is doomed.

Passion is not a dirty word, nor is creative sexual expression a sin. If you have religious scruples about enjoying your body and that of your fiancé you’re headed for trouble. Boredom in the bedroom, particularly for newlyweds is a recipe for disaster.

Saving yourself for your wedding night does not preclude you being well versed in self-pleasuring. In fact, the more you know about your body and the mysteries of your sexual response cycle the smoother things will go for the two of you on your wedding night. Nowadays there is absolutely no need for anyone to come to their marriage bed uninformed about sex in general and his or her sexuality in particular. And come prepared; always have lots and lots of lube handy!

Like I said, mutuality is the key. And since we all evolve sexually, both of you will need to grow right along with your partner. Make your sex play an adventure. Never hesitate to check in with one another to see how the pleasure thing is going. What worked last time is not necessarily gonna work the next time.

Spontaneity is always a real good thing. Traditional marriage doesn’t mean you have to be stogy. Both of you need to take responsibility for seeing that your intimacy needs are being met. Sometimes that will involve fucking like bunnies, other times it will mean vegging-out in front of the boob-tube with a fist full of Häagen-Dazs.

Openness and honesty about your most secret sexual desires and needs is essential. Can’t trust your partner with your secrets, you oughtn’t be married to him or her. Take responsibility for your own sexuality. Ask for what you want and need, but don’t neglect caring for yourself.

Seek your partner’s pleasure before your own. This is particularly important for a man. If you become too busy to celebrate your sexuality together, you are indeed too fuckin busy. Prioritize your life with your partner at its center.

There’s a fundamental difference between making love and fucking. Both have their place in a healthy marriage. And there ought also be room for solitary sex too. Everyone in entitled to privacy and private time, especially in a marriage.

Have some creativity about your sexual expression. Toys, fantasies, role-playing, they’re all good. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Attend to making your sex play spaces fit the mood — romantic to down and dirty. One size does not fit all, if you catch my drift.

If you plan to go to seed once you’re married you can be assured that the fire will go out just as soon as you do. Stay in shape, get plenty of exercise, and keep yourself attractive to your partner. Pay attention to your personal hygiene. No one wants to bump someone with a smelly body and bad breath.

Make sure your partner is fully aroused before full-on fucking. And remember sex is way more than the old in an out. Finally, have a sense of humor about the whole thing; it will help take the edge off.

Name: Steve
Gender: male
Age: 46
Location:
Safe to swallow? Improve the taste?

I just love it when ya’ll take the time to write or call me to tell me about your spunk. I like it for two reasons. First, it reassures me that ya’ll are paying attention to your sexual response cycle. And that you continue to be fascinated with how your body works. These are two really good things.

Second, well hell, I just get a kick outta hearin’ about your joy juice discoveries. Gosh, It warms the cockles of my poor old heart. So keep it up, so to speak, and keep the good doctor informed. Who knows one day I may hear something I’ve never heard before.

Back to you Steve, there ain’t nothin’ to get all freaked out about. Eatin’ your spooge will not make you sick. If you get off suckin’ up your own seed, knock yourself out. Have a ball! Oh wait, you already are!

Think about it for a minute, there couldn’t possibly be anything in your cum that could harm big old you, because that would mean it would also be harmful to your cute little defenseless sperm. But it’s not, so there.

Technically speaking, your joy juice, semen to be more precise, is mostly water. There’s also a simple sugar to keep you’re hard workin’ sperm alive and well. And, the rest is pure protein, baby. So look at it this way, your eating habits, so to speak, will require you to eat just a little less tofu than the rest of us.

And I do know a little something about making your spooge…spunkalicious.
Most of our ejaculate is produced in our seminal vesicles and prostate gland: not in our testicles, as most folks think. Only our sperm is produced in our balls, and sperm makes up only a fraction of our ejaculate. Our prostate gland is influenced by what we consume; eat, drink, smoke, things like that. So if you want to have sweet tasting jizz, for yourself and others, watch what you consume. Oh, and drink lots of water too.

Eating celery and/or parsley can have an almost immediate effect on the taste of your cum. Some report that the effect can be as swift as 30 minutes. So not only do celery and parsley freshen your breath, but they freshen your spunk as well. Hey, it’s like having two mints in one.

Oh and I can turn you on to a brand new product. So brand new, in fact, that I have yet to publish a review of it on my Product Review Page. Let me introduce you to Intimate Teas. They have this special tea called My Maple Cookie. It’s a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like pure maple. How fun is that? And it really works too. I mean, who doesn’t want his/her juices to smell and taste like dessert?

If your diet is heavy with meats and fish your jizz will most likely have a bitter taste. A high concentration of dairy products creates a foul taste…so does all that coffee and nicotine. Lots of fruits and vegetables in your diet (except for asparagus that is) will produce a slightly sugary taste. And if you like your cocktails (the kind you drink, silly), it’s best to stick with high-quality, naturally fermented beers, wine or liquor. The cheap stuff, the rotgut, will not only give you a wicked hangover, but will cause your spooge to have an extremely acidic taste.

Name: Alva
Gender: female
Age: 40
Location: New Mexico

It has been over six years since I have had sex. My husband of 12 years died cancer 5 years ago. There was no sex in our relationship the last year of his life. He was the love of my life and I still miss him so much. I would like to get back into the swing of things. I just don’t know how. My friends tell me I should get on with my life. They tell me I’m still an attractive woman and that I’m wasting my life. Sometimes they badger me so that I don’t want to be around them. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I’m dead inside. Why can’t I just move on?

You raise some very interesting issues, Alva, concerns that are often ignored or misdiagnosed by healing and helping professionals. Grief has a profound effect on every aspect of our lives. Yet there is hardly any literature on the effects grief has on our sexuality. To my mind, grief is the leading causes of sexual dysfunction for those who have experienced the death of a loved one. And you, my dear, present some of the classic symptoms — indecision, self-doubt, lack of libido, a desire to isolate.

Before I continue I want to underscore that grief is not depression. And treating grief with an antidepressant is counterproductive. It can actually take away the impetus to resolve the grief and get on the rest of one’s life.

Now, is six years of grieving enough? Apparently your friends think so. But what do you think? Would reviving your sex life sully the memory of your dear departed husband? I believe it’s time for you to bring this concern to a professional for help. I suggest that you get some therapy from someone who is well versed in both sexuality and grief counseling. I say this not because I’m siding with your friends, but because you, yourself, identify this as a problem.

What could a counselor do for you, you may ask? Well, I can only speak for myself, and the work I do in my practice. A good portion of my practice is with sick and dying people and their friends and family who survive them. I know the impact a terminal illness and the dying process can have on the surviving spouse or partner. We often go into survival mode, shutting down so much of ourselves in an effort to have the strength to cope with this life-altering experience. Of course, trying to kick-start our life afterwards is often a monumental effort. Without the support and guidance of a professional or a group of similarly challenged people, some of us just sink to the lowest common denominator and stop fully functioning.

Traumatic events in our lives can radically shift us out of living mode into merely surviving mode. And if this goes on for a long time — and six years is a very long time in my opinion — surviving mode begins to feel like living mode. But it’s not! Good thing we have friends to tell us when we are off course. You are right to say that sometimes the interventions of our friends can feel like badgering. And I know that’s not helpful. But how else are they to convey their continued concern for your wellbeing?

I believe in the resilience of the human spirit. I believe that we can honor our dead and continue to live and love too. Now it’s true that some animals and even some humans mate for life. And when the mate dies they never mate again. However, this doesn’t sound like you, Alva. It sounds to me like you have a desire to get on with your life, to fill the void, to make new connections, but you simply don’t know how. Acknowledging that fact is a real good place to begin.

Perhaps you could start by reawakening your sexuality through self-pleasuring. Reconnect with your body and the joy it can bring you. Six years is a long time to be without, so starting up again may take some effort. While you are working on resolving your grief in a grief support group, you might want to connect with another group member who will no doubt be experiencing much the same things as you. You could explore your sexuality together.

Reestablishing a social life will no doubt follow, slowly at first. But the inevitable tug of our basic need for human to human contact will draw you, if you let it. Remember the best testament to those who have died is to continue to celebrate life itself.

Good luck ya’ll

November 3, 2008June 25, 2018

The Erotic Mind of Jeremy Edwards — Podcast #86 — 11/03/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a delicious show in store for you. Today, we return to my new series of interviews with noted erotic artists called The Erotic Mind. As you know, we’ve been chatting with these ingenious artists in hopes of uncovering something of the creative process involved with this specialized art form.

I decided to turn to Samantha and Jordan over at Oysters & Chocolate Erotic for a hot tip on whose mind I should investigate this week. After all, they were so spot-on insisting that I have Kay Jaybee inaugurate this series. “Dr Dick, we have just the guy for you.” They said oh so sweetly. “We know you and your audience will love him as much as we and our readers do.” My go-to gals for all things erotic were absolutely right, as usual.

Sex fans, I have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to a world-class artist who creates his erotic art using the medium of words — Jeremy Edwards. You can find Jeremy’s blog HERE!

Jeremy’s work is featured in 28 hard copy publications, as well as numerous web publications. As part of today’s show, he will share with us some of the most delectable fruit of his Erotic Mind. You don’t want to miss a moment of this program, people!

Jeremy and I discuss:

His nom de plume?
His very successful career and how it began.
Creating these petite works of art, one word at a time.
The difference, if any, between writing for a male or female audience.

Jeremy also serves up TWO juicy morsels of his own erotica.

(click on the thumbnails to get more information about these volumes)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

October 29, 2008May 17, 2011

I love the Gays!

October 27, 2008June 25, 2018

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #85 — 10/27/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Today we have a fresh hot load of titillating questions from the sexually worrisome. And I go out of my way to be sassy, sociable and oh so informative with my replies! Hey, it’s what I do. And just to make things well worth your while, I have a little sexual enrichment thing up my sleeve too.

Samantha’s BF is hung like a horse. But he don’t know how to use that thang.
Ramon is a bear, but he doesn’t want to be.
Poppa’s husband ain’t puttin’ out no more.

Finally, a sexual enrichment tutorial: Basic Sexual Positions For One And All.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail. Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉

Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: The Amazing Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

October 10, 2008January 8, 2013

Who knew?

Name: Nola
Gender: female
Age: 42
Location: Springfield
My husband and I only have masturbation sex because he say’s he can’t feel me anymore when we make love. He says he still loves me, but he says I’m very loose down there. And I know why too. We have three wonderful boys — 12, 9 and 6. All were big babies and all three were vaginal births. And I don’t think I ever rebounded afterwards and now that I’m older, well things are not like they used to be. Is this the end of sex for us?

A very common complaint, Nola; I write and talk about lax pelvic musculature a lot on this site and in my private practice. Sure there is hope for regaining muscle tone, and it’s not particularly difficult to achieve.

Let’s start with a bit of an anatomy lesson. You have several pelvis floor muscles the one we’re most concerned with is called the pubococcygeus, or the PC muscle. It supports and holds in place the internal sex organs for both women and men. —Pay attention men, the following exercises can whip your PC muscles in shape too.— It’s attached to the front of the pubic bone and goes all the way around to your butt hole. When one’s PC muscle is taut and toned, a contraction can be felt all over the pelvic area — cock, cunt, clit and ass hole. So you see how important this muscle is to performance as well as pleasure for both women and men, right?

Still don’t know which muscle I’m talking about? Ok, try this — while taking a pee, abruptly stop and start the flow of urine. Can you do it? Lots of women and some men can’t. As you suggest, birthin’ babies is pretty traumatic to your pelvic musculature. These muscles lose tone with each successive delivery (not to mention the impact the aging process has on our muscles). If you can’t abruptly stop the flow of pee, then you’re gonna have to find the PC muscle another way. Try this, stick a couple fingers inside your pussy and squeeze. You may have to insert more than two fingers to find what you are looking for. But when you feel pressure around your fingers, you’ve hit the mark.

Consider this, if you are using more than two fingers to find your PC muscle, you can understand why your hubby ain’t gettin the friction he needs to get off through fucking, right?

Ok, so let’s work on some exercises that will tighten things up down there. These exercises are commonly called Kegel Exercises. You need to spend 30 minutes a day at this (twice a day would even be better). And I want you to commit to this regiment for two weeks. If you can’t commit this kind of time; then yes, you can say good by to fucking your husband ever again. If your sex life is important to you, you WILL find the time to do your kegels.

While lying on your back, or reclining propped up with some pillows, start by relaxing everything except your vaginal muscles. This will take some doing, so be patient. Remember, you have 30 minutes to fill. Insert your fingers in your pussy, and clench your PC muscle. You’ll want to LIFT UP while you do this, not bear down. If you’re tightening your abs, squeezing your legs together, clenching your butt, or holding your breath then you’re not exercising the right muscle.

I want you to work on both muscle strength and tone. With fingers inserted, start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds apiece). Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then relax. Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row. Doing three sets of these two types of Kegels during your 30 minutes a day is your goal. If you’re tightening your abs to finger your pussy, consider inserting a dildo instead.

Let’s go over that one more time. Start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds apiece). Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then relax. Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row.

When you’ve accomplished this you’re ready to increase the set to eight or ten prolonged squeezes and 20 rapid contractions in a set. The advanced Kegeler is able to vary the type and duration of her PC squeezing; slow prolonged clenches to quick flutters. And, darling, this doesn’t have to be drudgery. Add some up-tempo dance music and tighten and release your PC muscle to the rhythm. You will naturally vary the exercises and have way more fun too.

Hey, want to kick things up a notch? Combine you PC Exercises with jilling off! That’s right, darlin, throw yourself a screamin meme of an orgasm as you’re exercising. This is where a nice vibrating dildo will come in handy. You may find that you’re more likely to attend to your exercise regime if there’s pleasure involved.

Throw in some patterned breathing and pelvic rocking with your exercises. Rock your pelvis up, exhale and squeeze the PC tight. Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then inhale, drop your hips back down and relax the muscle. Once you get the hang of this, reverse the exercise. Inhale while rocking forward and exhale while dropping back.

One final suggestion, check out the Natural Contours Energie Kegel Exerciser. You can read all about this marvelous doohickey by going to the Product Review Page and look for Review #16

If you follow my instructions for this two-week exercise course, you will notice a marked improvement to your pelvic muscle tone. Won’t the hubby be surprised when you invite him for a fuck and he finds the taut and toned pussy of a woman half your age.

Name: Leo
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Miami
I am a 29yr old light skinned latin male, very healthy. Being latin, my skin has…well…you know…that tan color. Over the past 2-3 years I have been seeing these lighter color, almost white spots evolving on my penis and butt and thighs and elbows. It began with just one small spot on my penis, and over the years I got a more spots around the rest of the area. It’s to the point that I’m too embarrassed to have sex. It looks like the whole area down there is transforming into big ugly blotches. It definitely does not look healthy. Do you know what this is? Do I have some kind of sexually transmitted disease?

You appear to be describing vitiligo, a dermatological condition where the skin, often in the genital area, loses its pigment. This is not a disease, let alone a sexually transmitted infection. It’s a condition and it’s not all that uncommon. When you lose pigment, it leaves islands of white skin surrounded by your natural skin color, tan in your case. It’s kinda like a Palamino horse.

Medicine doesn’t know a lot about vitiligo. What is known for certain is that it is not contagious. It appears to be an acquired condition and may appear at any age, but mostly before 40. Genetics may play a part, as there is an increased incidence of vitiligo in some families. Vitiligo is more noticeable in darker skinned people because of the contrast with the white patches against dark skin. It seems to occur more often among people with an autoimmune problem. The depigmentation can be progressive for some people, although not everyone.

In terms of treatment, there aren’t any to speak of. Some claim modest success with a repigmenting agents or immunosuppressant medications. Some people, like Michael Jackson, go to great lengths and extremes to compensate for this condition. Obviously, this is not advisable. I mean, just look at him. I just can’t see how his untreated vitiligo would have been any less scary than what he’s transformed himself into? But that’s just me.

For most folks with vitiligo, myself included, our best bet is to make peace with our uniqueness, leave it alone and move on. I’ll admit it takes some getting use to, since the appearance of our skin is so tied with our self-esteem. But, those of you in my audience who regularly read my column, or listen to my podcasts, know that shit happens to our bodies. Birth defects, aging, disease processes, amputations, scaring, disabling accidents and disfiguring surgeries are all part and parcel of being a human. Those who successfully move through their problems and find their self-worth in a more holistic appreciation of themselves enjoy a fuller, richer life, which includes a full and rich sex life. If you need help pulling this together for yourself, Leo, support is available online. Just search for vitiligo support.

As for your sexual partners and the questions they might have; why not just be upfront about what’s goin on? Simply say you have vitiligo. It’s about pigment, not performance. And then show ‘em what ya got, baby!

Name: Peaches & Herb
Gender: couple
Age: 30-something
Location: Washington DC
We’re a hip, 30-something couple and we’re looking for a little adventure. We want to throw a sex party. We know several couples who we think would be interested in joining us. But we’re not sure how or where to start. What do you suggest?
PS: Peaches & Herb are not our real names.

You don’t say! I would have never guessed! Peaches & Herb, indeed.

Actually, P&H, I hesitate to offer any suggestions, because it sounds to me like you guys are complete amateurs when it comes to swinging, if you are swingers at all. Throwing a sex party for a bunch of straight folks is not like hosting Sunday brunch, where all that could go wrong is serving an unsuitable wine with the quiche. A poorly planned sex party can be a catastrophe and destroy friendships and make instant enemies. If I were you, I’d start planning my own party only after I attended several other parties hosted by folks who know what the fuck they’re doing.

But to give you the benefit of the doubt I’ll offer a the these suggestion. First, I’d begin by asking myself what kind of party do me and the little woman want to host?

A sexy party — attendees dress in provocative outfits — lingerie and the like, get all liquored up, play naughty games, like “Truth or Dare” which evolve into group make-out session — where few risks are taken and nobody gets hurt if things go badly.

A sex party — attended by out and proud swingers. Here the agenda is obviously sex, but there are a shit-load of very important things to consider before the invitations go out. More about this in a minute.

An orgy — a no holds bared, check your cloths at the door, full-on sex extravaganza. This is kind of gathering is not for the novice. In fact, it’s more a gay sex party option than a straight sex party option. The reasons I believe this are coming up.

Whatever kind of party you choose, you’ll want to carefully consider the people you invite. It’s a good idea to always have some instigators on your list. You know, the folks who will be the first to make out, dance and shed their cloths. Established swingers are always a good choice for this. They’ll be less inhibited than the newbies.

Do you desire an equal male/female ratio? Couples only? Singles only? Straights only? No single men? Will you allow for bisexual expression, specifically the male-on-male type? Will you allow kink? Or will this be a vanilla party?

If you’re thinking of inviting relative strangers, you might want to consider screening them in advance. You’ll want to make sure the prospective guest will fit in with the others on your list.

Where’s the shindig gonna be held? Your home, a rented space, a hotel suite? If all goes well, the party will probably be loud and nude, so consider your neighbors and neighborhood carefully. Wherever you host, designate some areas as sex areas and some areas as rest/neutral/no-sex areas.

Will you serve adult beverages? If you do, how much is too much? Will there be food? Probably if there’s booze, there ought to be at least some food, right? Even if it’s simply powerbars and gaterade,

Music is very important to setting the mood. The wrong music — there goes the party. Your play space must be clean and warm with plenty of places to freshen up in. That will necessitate soap and water and lots of fresh towels. Muted lighting is essential, at least in some of the areas. Throw pillows are good. Vinyl sheets are practical. Or have your guests donate a set of clean sheets to the festivities. You need to realize that it will be a mess everywhere your guests fuck, what with all the lube and bodily fluids and the like. And there’s always gonna be accidents like spills, smells and skid marks, if you catch my drift.

Speaking of which, have lube, condoms, and latex gloves, baby wipes and what have you in every room you designate as a play space. Nothing sets the mood like some classy pornography playing in the background. Have your guests turn off their cell phones. And I’d also consider having a definite arrive time. No one admitted after a certain hour. New arrivals can ruin a mood, unless you’re sure they will blend in and get down to business immediately.

Sex party etiquette is essential. A lot of this will depend on the kind of party you’re hosting and the type of people you invite. But you should insist that your guests behave themselves…in a smutty sort of way…of course. Guests should be polite. No means NO! I would discourage guests who might just want to attend for the show. There are no bigger turn-offs than a lecherous gawker or an uncomfortable wallflower. Permission to join a grouping is mandatory. And a sense of humor is always appreciated, just so long as it doesn’t bust the mood. And finally, safe sex ought to be a must!

Good luck ya’ll

September 26, 2008February 16, 2016

I’ll be the judge of that!

Name: Eddie
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Sacramento
I have a pretty big dick, almost 9 inches and if I try I can bend myself till the tip is just touching my lips and then I can shoot right in my mouth. But I want to get more of my cock in my mouth because I think it’s hot. Are there any exercises I can do to help me do this? Thanks.

You go, dude! Autofellatio, or self-sucking is every man’s dream. Of course, if all of us men folk could blow ourselves, there would be no good reason for us to ever leave our house.

What we have here, sex fans, is a guy who can orally masturbate himself. According to the Kinsey Reports less than 1% of males can lick or suck their own cock. Obviously, suckin’ is more difficult than lickin’, because the guy’s gotta fold himself over a whole lot more to get more of his unit in his mouth. But it is doable for the lucky few.

Did you know that there is archaeological evidence for self-administered blowjobs in Egyptian hieroglyphs? That’s right, sex fans! According to researcher David Lorton, “Many ancient texts refer to autofellatio within the religious mythology of Egypt. The sun god Ra is said to have created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by sucking himself off, then spitting out his spunk into the ground.” Yeah baby, give me that old time religion!

Successful self-sucking depends on two things, Eddie — having a big enough dick and being limber as all get-out so you can pretty much bend in half. Every guy can do something about his flexibility, but none of us can grow our dick longer. That’s why this behavior remains fantasy material for the vast majority of us wee willies.

If you want to suck your own cock it’s a good idea to begin by expanding your range of motion; ya know, working on becoming more limber. Concentrate on stretching exercises that will help improve the flexibility in your legs, glutes, lower back, upper back and neck. If you’re not doin Yoga, pup, now’s a good time to start.

Begin by stretching out your legs. Your quads and hamstrings need to be nice and limber. While lying flat on the floor, with your legs fully extended. Lift each leg in succession. Take hold of your calf or thigh and pull your bent leg toward your chest. Hold this for 15 seconds, breathe deeply and release. Repeat five more times. Once you’re able to do one leg at a time, work on doing both legs at once. Be careful not to over stretch, you don’t want to pull a muscle.

Next stretch your back and neck. While lying flat on the floor, clasp your fingers together place them behind your head and slowly roll yourself up while your hold your chin to your chest. This will be exactly like doing a crunch, only completely different. Hold these stretches for 15 seconds apiece, breathe deeply and release. Repeat five more times.

Once you’ve mastered these stretches to the point you can pert-near fold yourself in half, you should be getting close to being able to lick your own dick…if it’s long enough, that is.

While lying flat on the floor place, roll yourself up, legs to your head and place your knees, one at a time, on either side of your head so you’re looking at your crotch and your pud is pointed towards your lips. Don’t forget to breathe through these stretches.

Now grab your ass and pull your dick closer to your mouth. If it’s meant to be, this is how it will happen. If it’s not meant to be, it won’t.

But don’t despair, if ya can’t pull this off. All those stretching exercises you’ve been doing will make you a much better lover with a partner. Because you will be much more limber for all the sexual gymnastics, don’t cha know.

Name: Gil
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Ohio
I’m bi and I have both female and male lovers. Right now, I’m in more of a same sex phase. I’m dating two different guys that I like a lot. Both are really nice and fun and the sex is pretty good. But neither one of these guys — one is 23 and the other is 25, knows how to kiss worth a damn. And I can’t get worked up without kissing. The 23 year old claims to be mostly straight and says kissing is too queer for him. The other guy is all like all open mouth teeth. Yuck! Is it just me, or is kissing a lost art for gay men?

You are so right on, Gil! Kissing is a lost art, but not just for gay men. Women often tell me that their straight male partners don’t know squat about kissing either. Is it just too intimate a thing for manly men nowadays or what?

And yeah, it is queer for one guy to kiss another guy. It’s supposed to be, for Pet’s sake! What, does the 23 year old think he’ll maintain his “straightness” if he sucks and fucks another dude, but doesn’t kiss him? WTF!

In my book, kissing is essential to satisfying sex. If ya can’t kiss, I’d be willing to bet you can’t fuck either. Oh, that’s not to say that you won’t be able to bump parts, any monkey can do that. But real good fucking involves passion and how’s there supposed to be passion without kissing? That’s what I’d like to know.

Kissing is often the first sexual experience we have. Whether it’s a light kiss from a friend, or deep sensuous French kiss with a potential lover. We can express so much with kissing — love, passion, friendship, commitment — and we can do so while fully clothed.

Kissing someone on the mouth is bliss. But taking those kisses to other places on your partner’s body is a mighty fine idea too. I used to think kissing came naturally to us all, but now I’m convinced that’s now so. It could be we all have an innate ability that just needs to be nurtured before it blossoms. Whatever the case may be, there are some things the kissing challenged ought know.

Always make sure that your breath is fresh. There’s nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath! This is particularly important for those of you who still smoke.

Kissing not only involves your mouth, it also has to involve body contact, hugging and touching.

If you’re all open mouth, teeth and drool, you’re not kissing.
If you rush to jam your tongue into your partner’s mouth and down his or her throat, you’re not kissing.
If you’re biting instead of nibbling, you’re not kissing.
If you’re trying to cover his or her entire mouth with yours like some kind of freaky suction cup, you’re not kissing.
If you’re kissing with your eyes wide open, you’re not kissing.
If your tongue is poking and prodding in your partner’s mouth like it is searching for lost food, you’re not kissing.
IF someone is kissing you and you’re not kissing back, you’re not kissing.
If you’re body is stiff, like a frozen slab of beef, you’re not kissing.
If your hands are stationary without a thing to do, you’re not kissing.
If you think kissing is something ya gotta do just to get laid, you’re not kissing.

If you’re pressed for technique, or you’re simply clueless about where to begin, start by giving your partner a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Then move back a little, look him or her in the eye, then move in again for another kiss with a bit more passion this time. Slowly build up the passion and excitement with a series of these kinds of seductive kisses till you’re all over one another like a bad cold.

Or try light kissing all over your partner’s face and neck pausing every now and again for a deep sigh and a longing look in his/her eyes. Whatever you do, don’t suck or slobber. Save that for when you’re eating her out or sucking his cock.

If you think you need practice kissing, and unless you’ve been told that you are a great kisser, you do need practice. And you’re too timid to invite a partner to join you for the exercise, here’s what I propose you do. Make a fist; turn it sideways so that you have the opening between your thumb and forefinger in front of you. Kiss that. Stand in front of a mirror and watch yourself. If you look like they do in the movies, you may be on the right track.

When you think you’re getting the hang of it, move on to the real thing. Don’t be shy we all have to start somewhere. You might invite your partner to give you some feed back on how you’re doing. Remember, practice makes perfect.

Name: Wilson
Gender: male
Age: 58
Location: Lancing MI
I’m a successful entrepreneur, in decent health (I could stand to lose a few pounds.) I have just about everything a man could want in life, but I’m miserable. I have no energy and I feel like I’m sleepwalking through my life. I have no sex drive at all; my wife thinks I’m having an affair…I wish. Even Viagra doesn’t do the trick anymore. Is this just old age, or what?

Old age, at 58? I beg your pardon! Hell, you’re not even technically a senior yet! Regardless what we call it, you sound like you’re in the throws of andropause — male menopause — ya know, the change of life!

Never heard of such a thing? You’re not alone. It’s only been recently that the medical industry has begun to pay attention to the impact changing hormonal levels has on the male mind and body. Most often andropause is misdiagnosed as depression and treated with an antidepressant. WRONG!

Every man will experience a decrease testosterone, the “male” hormone, as he ages. This decline is gradual, often spanning ten to fifteen years on average. While the gradual decrease of testosterone does not display the profound effects that menopause does, the end results are similar.

There’s no doubt a man’s sexual response changes with advancing age and the decrease of testosterone. Sexual urges diminish, erections are harder to come by, they’re not as rigid, there’s less jizz shot with less oomph. And our refractory period (or interval) between erections is more pronounced too.

While most all of us have heard of a mid-life crisis, and it’s tragic consequences — red convertible sports cars, comb-overs, and the trophy wife or lover — fewer have heard of andropause. A mid-life crisis is essentially a psycho-social adjustment to aging — bored at work, bored at home, bored with the wife or partner — that sort of thing.

Although andropause may coincide with a mid-life crisis, is not the same thing. Andropause is a distinct physiological phenomenon that is akin to female menopause.

Like I said, the production of testosterone diminishes gradually after age 40. I suppose you know that testosterone is the hormone that stimulates sexual development in the male infant, bone and muscle growth in adolescent males, and is responsible for our sexual drive, right? But did you know that by the age of 55 the amount of testosterone secreted into our bloodstream is significantly lower than it was at 45. And by age 80, most male hormone levels have decreased to pre-puberty levels.

Men, are you over 50, feeling weak, lethargic, depressed and irritable? Do you have mood swings, hot flashes, suffer from insomnia and decreased libido, like our buddy Wilson, here? Then you too may be andropausal. You need to get some lead back in your pencil!

All kidding aside, all us andropausal men might want to consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). Ask your physician about this. Just know that some medical professionals resist testosterone therapy, because they mistakenly link Testosterone Replacement Therapy with prostate cancer. Even though recent evidence shows prostatic disease is estrogen-dependent rather than testosterone-dependent. However, before starting a testosterone regiment, insist on a complete physical, including blood work and a rectal examine. Mmmm, rectal exams!

Here’s an interesting tidbit; total testosterone, which is generally the only thing that is ever measured in men complaining of andropausal symptoms, is only low in relation to the standard laboratory “normal range” in 13% of cases. However, more detailed blood analysis shows that bio-available Testosterone, which is the important measure, is decreased in 74% of cases.

Testosterone is available in many forms — oral, injectable, trans-dermal and by way of implants. The oral form is not recommended because of the high risk of liver damage. But injections, patches, pellets, creams and gels might be just the answer.

I encourage you to be informed about TRT before you approach your doctor, because the best medicine is practiced collaboratively — by you and your doctor.

I just found a swell resource online: The Andropause Society. Check it out!

Good luck ya’ll