SEX THERAPY – Page 82 – Dr Dick's Sex Advice

August 5, 2006January 8, 2013

JIZZ, SPOOGE & SPUNK

Hey kids!

This month I have a bunch of correspondence to share with you that concerns one of my favorite topic, JIZZ. How sweet is that?

I just love it when ya’ll take the time to write me to tell me about your spunk. I like it for two reasons. First, it reassures me that ya’ll are paying attention to your sexual response cycle and that you continue to be fascinated with how your body works. These are really good things.

Second, well hell, I just get a kick outta hearin’ about your joy juice discoveries. Gosh, It warms the cockles of my poor old heart.

So keep it up, so to speak, and keep the good doctor informed. Who knows one day I may hear something I’ve never heard before.

Dear Dr. Dick,
I hope you don’t think I’m a freak or nothin, but here’s the deal. Oh shit man I never told nobody about this. I know you’re gonna freak. All right here goes…I eat my own ya know cum. Is this gonna make me sick? Is this like the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard? Don’t use my real name man just say seed-sucker ok.

Dude, I mean, seed-sucker,

What the fuck? Are you tryin’ to make me sick? Are you some kind of pervert? Jeez, man, I just had lunch!

Sorry, SS, I just couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t help pilin’ on to the big old pile you’ve already piled on yourself.

Listen my friend, relax. It’s just one of your own bodily fluids. There ain’t nothin’ to get all freaked out about. Eatin’ your spooge will not make you sick. If you get off suckin’ up your own seed, knock yourself out. Have a ball! Oh wait, you already are! Whoops, there I go again.

Just think about it for a minute, there couldn’t possibly be anything in your cum that could harm big old you, cuz that would mean it would also be harmful to your cute little defenseless sperm. But it’s not, so there.

Technically speaking, your joy juice, semen to be more precise, is mostly water. There’s also a simple sugar to keep you’re hard workin’ sperm alive and well. And, the rest is pure protein. So look at it this way, your eating habits, so to speak, will require you to eat a little less tofu than the rest of us.

And, darlin’, this doesn’t even come close to being the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. You’d have to come up with something a tad bit more twisted then gobblin’ up your own goop.

Good luck,

Hey doc,
I have a major problem that I hope I could get some advice from you about. It’s about my sexual issue. Whenever I’m having sex, I couldn’t control my nerves. It means I couldn’t relax. And I come too fast and rapidly. I couldn’t have foreplay or enjoy sex. Do you know any medications or anything that would help me to prevent it? I guess my problem is what people called premature ejaculation. I can ejaculate rapidly, at first I thought it was really good. But later I figured out that wasn’t good. And that it’s a sickness. Please help me. Hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks,
Short Fuse

Dear Short Fuse,
Your concern is a familiar one. I hear it all the time, but it’s not a sickness. Lasting longer is a relatively easy thing to accomplish if that’s really what you want.
Let’s start with how you jack-off. If I had to guess these sessions are speedy affairs, right? A quick wank just to relieve sexual tension is a good thing, but it can also interfere with your partnered pleasure later. Look at it this way, if you body is sensitized to cumin’ quickly like while jerkin’-off just relieve tension, then that’s how it will respond later, when you’re with a partner.
I suggest t that you reevaluate your self-pleasuring activity. Most, if not all, of you masturbation should be dedicated to full body masturbation. The object in this kind of masturbation is to play with the sex tension that develops in self-pleasuring. The object is decidedly not to have an orgasm.
Move the sexual energy all over your body. Touch and pleasure your whole body while stroking your cock. Make the pleasure last as long as you can. As you approach the point of ejaculation, stop stroking your dick and play with some other part of your body, tits, asshole, feet, etc. When the urge to cum subsides, you can start to stroke your dick again. Do this over and over till you can last 30 minutes.
The object here, I mean besides the joy of gettin’ off on your whole body, is to teach your body a different way to respond to cock stimulation. If you practice this method conscientiously it will increase your sexual stamina when you’re with a partner too.
When you’re having sex with your partner do the same thing as when you’re masturbating. Spread the sexual energy around. Don’t just be focused on your dick. Concentrate on stalling your orgasm. If you’re getting close to cumin’, pull out of penetration till you regain control, then reinsert.
This is going to take some practice, but I think it’s worth the effort. Once you mastered this there are other more advanced techniques that I can tell you about.

Good luck,

Doctor. My name is Juan. Please help me make my seamen taste better.

I love it, Juan.
You’re eating sailors?
Sheesh! God knows that the good doctor has have more than his share of seafood, if ya catch my drift, but he’s never complained about the taste. No, wait a minute, that’s not true; there was that one guy from Annapolis. Ahh, but I digress.
All joshing aside, Juan; is it safe to assume that you meant SEMEN and not SEAMEN?
Lucky for you, Juan, I do know a little something about making your spooge…spunkalicious.
Most of our ejaculate is produced in our prostate gland, not in our testicles, as most folks think. Only our sperm is produced in our testes. Our prostate gland is influenced by what we consume; eat, drink, smoke, things like that. So if you want to have sweet tasting jizz, for yourself and for others, watch what you consume. Oh, and drink lots of water too.
Here are some timely tips from folks in the know. I hear tell that eating celery and/or parsley can have an almost immediate effect on the taste of your cum. Some report that the effect can be as swift as 30 minutes. I am told that not only do celery and parsley freshen your breath, but they freshen your spunk as well. Hey, it’s like having two mints in one.
If your diet is heavy with meats and fish your joy juice will most likely have a bitter taste. A high concentration of dairy products creates a foul taste…so does all that coffee and nicotine. Lots of fruits and vegetables in your diet (except for asparagus that is) will produce a slightly sugary taste. And if you like your cocktails (the kind you drink, silly), it’s best to stick with high-quality, naturally fermented beers or liquor. The cheap stuff, the rotgut, will not only give you a wicked hangover, but will cause your spooge to have an extremely acidic taste.

Good luck

June 14, 2006January 8, 2013

Know Thyself!

It’s 2006 people! The internet impacts on nearly every aspect of our lives. We have more immediate access to more specific information about every conceivable thing under the sun — an access and availability unparalleled in history. We have the collective knowledge of all humankind at our fingertips, both literally and figuratively. Despite this super-available wealth of information, many of us still live in the dark when it comes to our bodies and how they work. We are uninformed about our anatomy, unaware of the mechanics that make us tic, and oblivious to our own sexual response cycle. This sort of ignorance and estrangement leads to all sorts of troubles.

Hi Richard
I really only had my first male sexual encounter in September (which I enjoyed!). We tried oral. He was cut and I’m not. I didn’t enjoy receiving it though as the head my dick is sensitive to the point of being sore when the foreskin is pulled all the way back. I only do that in the shower when I’m cleaning down there. When I self-pleasure, I do it in a way that the foreskin never goes full back, just halfway. I’m not sure if this is a common problem with uncut men.
I do like the idea of anal sex and I’m looking for a patient top for my first time. But I’m just worried about the whole sensation and preparation, etc.
— Wayne

Wow, Wayne, new to gay sex, huh? I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying yourself. Yes, the prospects of fully enjoying your newfound sexual interests must hold great allure. Congratulations!

As to your issue of your hypersensitive dick head — let’s just say that’s part of the joy of having an uncut dick. Many uncut men report similar sensitivity, especially when they haven’t had a lot of partnered sex. Some of the discomfort will dissipate on its own with the more cock-play you have. However, you can also hasten the desensitization process by retracting your foreskin and leaving your unsheathed dick in your underwear for an hour or so at a time. You could also try masturbating with your foreskin completely retracted. This will, no doubt, feel a bit odd and perhaps even uncomfortable at first, but like I said, this will subside. The object of these exercises is to take the edge off, so to speak. You don’t need to concern yourself with thoughts of total desensitization — there’s no likelihood of that happening. But you do want to get to a point where you can enjoy some great head without worrying that you will be sore afterward. You might also want to encourage your cock sucking friends to be especially careful when they’re chowin’ down on your tender meat.

In anticipation of finding that patient top you seek; you can prepare yourself, and your asshole, for the enjoyment to come. During your own private sex play — masturbation — be sure to include your sphincter and prostate. Familiarize yourself with your whole hole-area. Use your fingers and/or a small dildo to test the waters, so to speak. Take your time and use lots of lube. Don’t be afraid to experiment and push the limits a bit. The more that you know about your own ass, the more you will be able to inform future partners on how best to pleasure you.

You might want to experiment with douches too. Over the counter stuff is ok, but a simple solution of warm water and a bit of vinegar or lemon juice works even better. It’s cheaper too. When it comes to fucking, a clean ass is a happy ass. Remember when you bottom, your anal hygiene is your responsibility. The more you know about anal health and hygiene, before you give up your ass for the first time, the more likely both you and your top will enjoy yourselves.

Good luck

Hi again Richard
I appreciate you taking time to answer my questions and for the advice you’ve given me. I still think an uncut cock is a curse though! LOL Each time I read your suggestion about rolling back my foreskin, I have to cross my legs. So I just need to get over that. 🙂
I will try a dildo and some lube for exploration. The nearest I have come so far is to try a finger wrapped in tissue paper. The reason this worried me was because even after a BM, sometimes it caused gas to be released and once or twice even “forced” another movement.
When being topped, does the cock go past the “squishy” muscle that I can feel with my finger? And how would one apply a water and lemon juice solution?
— Wayne

Hello again, Wayne,

You’ll never convince me that an uncut dick is a liability. I firmly believe that, in most circumstances, body parts are best left in their natural state.

Learning to care for an uncut dick is something else indeed. There are plenty of resources on the internet for uncut men like you. I suggest doing a search with word strings like: Sex Information or Health Information and Uncircumcised. You’ll be pleasantly surprised with the wealth of information available.

One word of caution, have your wits about you when reading through the information you find on the net. For example, you will probably notice that the American medical industry has a very strong bias toward circumcision. For some reason, our culture would prefer to mutilate a cock instead of teaching the cock’s owner, be it boy-child or grown-up man, how to care for and clean his pecker in its natural state.

Wait a minute; you’re wrapping your finger in toilet paper before sticking it in you ass? That can’t be fun or comfortable. Listen, partner, your ass is your friend, it’s the source of loads of pleasure. Shit also comes out of your ass, but it’s not the end of the world if you get a bit of it on your finger during exploration. It’s soap-and-water soluble, ya know. Rootin’ around in your bum or someone else’s bum can and often does produce some interesting byproduct. No surprise there, it’s an asshole after all.

Washing your hands after butt play, as well as keeping them away from your mouth until they are washed, will help keep things sanitary. May I suggest you get a copy of: Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women by Jack Morin, Ph.D. It’s an excellent primer for the anal novice. You can find it online.

My, you are uninformed about your own anatomy. The squishy muscle you speak of is your sphincter muscle. And yes, one would hope that a top’s dick would go past that muscle to at least the depth where his cock can stimulate your prostate. Unclear on where your prostate is? You’ll find plenty of information online about that too. Do a search with word strings like: Prostate and Health Information and Anatomy.

Here’s some more homework for you. Do and internet search using the words: Anal Douche. You will find all the information you need about the care and cleaning of your asshole. You’ll also find a vast array of implements designed for just this purpose. Have a ball!

Good luck

Dr. Dick,
Please help me. I am an attractive 21-year-old guy. I have no problems with meeting women nor do I have a low libido, the problem is that I suffer from hemorrhoids. This is really embarrassing as I don’t even let a girl touch my ass. And you know how girls like to play with a guy’s ass these days. I know there are cures for hemorrhoids, but none have worked and my doctor said it is useless to cure them because anal sex will cause their return. Please, please help…I am dying of frustration and fear.
Regards,
Jay

Dear Jay,

You are not alone. Many men and women suffer from hemorrhoids and, as you say, it can be frustrating, even embarrassing. But there is hope.

The first thing you ought do is look for another physician. If you are accurately reporting your doctor’s comments about butt fucking and hemorrhoids then he’s got a problem. What he told you is simply not true. You needn’t live a life of frustration and fear just because you have an ass-phobic doctor.

Do an internet search with word strings like: Hemorrhoids and Health Information and Anal Sex.

It’s hard for me to imagine a case of hemorrhoids so bad that it couldn’t be helped or cured by one of the many new and sophisticated therapies and interventions currently available. And with regard to butt fucking, there are many people who would believe that light anal stimulation can actually help relieve and even prevent hemorrhoids from reoccurring.

So do yourself a favor. Get a second opinion, a third if necessary. Find a sex-positive doctor. You can even do an internet search for Sex Positive Doctors. Or you can get a referral from a local gay hotline. Or look for a proctologist at a local university hospital. You’re more likely to find an open-minded practitioner there.

Your current physician has given you very poor advice indeed. He has done you a great disservice. Don’t let him have the last word.

Good Luck,
dr. dick

May 6, 2006January 8, 2013

IS THERE A SPLINTER IN MY EYE?

Today, we visit with a pair of very disgruntled correspondents. How nice!

Have you ever noticed how some folks have an inordinate amount of time on their hands? Time they use to poke around in the lives of the rest of us poor, unfortunate, benighted souls. They love to point out the errors of our ways. Whatever would we do without these guiding lights? It’s always been curious to me how the least capable among us are always the first to set himself or herself up as the arbiter of proper and wholesome living, especially when it comes to sex.

Who was it that said, “remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye”? Oh yeah, now I remember. I am in really good company today. 😉

And today, dear readers, I’ll not bother tidying up my correspondents’ spelling and punctuation. I want you to experience the fullness of their brilliance for yourselves. Besides, I’m too busy trying to dislodge this plank from my eye.

Hey Dickhead
I would really like to know who you are and what are your qualifications in sexual matters. I was just reading one of your replies to a young person whose lover is 17yrs older than her. I am so saddened by your reply. You advised her to have extra relationship affairs which we all know that relationships that incorporates a third party is destined to ruin and the couple is inevitably be living a lie. I do not know what sort of sexual development you had and how you’ve come to separate love and sex but you are surely promoting a negative in this case.
Sex is something that is for the relationship and that relationship alone, not to go all around town giving out at free will. Being a slut. Im sure there are different things that they together as a couple can do with out the help of somebody else. And like slutting around is actually gonna save somebody’s relationship, yea i see that happening every day.
Even if this is a hoax and not a real problem, I’m afraid it is in bad taste. I do not know you from Adam but please think before you answer any of these questions. The gay communities in many places and the gov’t have spent a lot of money in the fight with Aides. One of the things that was being promoted is finding one partner and sticking to him. The more partners one has the higher the risk. There is also the aspect of using another for selfish sexual gratification. Yes you may say It’s Ok if there is consent but really, Is it? After all we all know what happens to our feelings once we have had orgasm. You are a bad person. You shouldn’t be telling anybody anything.

Whoa, what a charmer!

What a dangerous and disturbing thing it is to be so judgmental about the sex lives of others. Isn’t it possible for well-meaning people to have a genuine disagreement on such matters without interjecting all the disparaging and rude remarks?

As I review my response to the person in question, I see I offered her a number of sound suggestions on how to deal with her sexual frustration. The thought, that she might discuss an accommodation with her primary partner, allowing her to seek sexual fulfillment outside her relationship, was just one of the ideas I had. Why did you focus only on that? And would you really characterize that as “slutting around”?

It’s been my experience that many long-term loving relationships continue to be successful precisely because the partners make adjustments for the inevitable disparity of sexual interests that develops between them over time. After all, accommodations and a healthy give and take are hallmarks of a well-adjusted relationship. And who says fidelity is a genital issue? Not me!

As the resident sexual advisor on this website, (you can check out my substantial qualifications in my bio) I offer advice on the problems that my correspondents present me. I stand by my advice. The people who write to me are adults. They can choose from among the helpful hints I offer, or disregard them all together. But it is certainly not my role to choose for them. So, if I had omitted the option that gives you such offense, I would have, at least by default, made part of her choice for her.

You defend your point of view from a position of fear. You claim that we should be sexually exclusive with one partner because there is a higher risk of being infected with AIDS if we aren’t. Is that the best you can come up with? Is that really why we should pair off with just one other person, because we’re afraid of disease? And then there’s this other curious comment: “After all we all know what happens to our feelings once we have had orgasm.” What are you insinuating about “us”? Me thinks you disclose more about your personal prejudices then you intended.

My advice to you, deary, is to sit down and take a deep breath. Your undies are in such a bunch, you’re beginning to screech. I also suggest that you suspend judgment, particularly as it applies to the manner in which others live their lives, or at least till you have more information about the intricacies of life, sex and love.

Good Luck,

Dr. Dick,
I am a 27 year old male that has never had sex or been in any kind of a relationship. I’ve looked but all I’ve found is that every guy I’ve met seems only to be controlled by his dick. I’ve come to the conclusion that all men my age are the same. It’s gotten so bad that not only do I hate my own kind but I hate sex because of what it stands for. I have even lost the need to please myself and I think of others as weak and pathetic for not being able to use their hearts. I know that sex is a healthy part of human life but why (especially in our community) is everything based on sex and/or crammed down our throats? Even the simplest of ads has to have some dude brandishing his schlong just to get attention. I can’t even enter a chat room without somebody asking me what my cock size is. I’ve come to hate everything we stand for and it’s left me cold and I tend to shut myself out of any function that is sexually related. Friends tell me to get off my high horse but I can’t see any reason to. Just by observing from up here all I see are a bunch of HIV infected rabbits that have reached the end of their evolutionary path because they no longer communicate with word but only with sex. I thought I’d grow out of this but that was seven years ago.
— Cold, Clinton J.

Dear ClintonJ,

How in the world did you get to be so incredibly bitter and jaded at such a tender age?

Your friends are right, puppy, get off your high horse. The observations you make about us mere mortals are more than a little skewed, coming as they do from your angelic vantage point.

Listen, it’s true what you say about our community’s obsession with sex. Kudos to you for pointing out the obvious. But hey, it’s not just us homos. Look around and you will find our entire culture is fucked up in this way. You can have a full and life-affirming sex life without participating in or being co-opted by the madness that abounds. You can, like others do, choose a life path that is both sexually enriching and adventurous without succumbing to a preoccupation.

You claim to be 27 and say you’ve never had sex? And you make this proclamation like it’s something to be proud of. I wonder, how much of this bitterness is just sour grapes? Like Bette Midler is fond of sayin’: “You’re crackin’ up from a lack of shackin’ up.” You need to get laid, doll. It’s as simple as that.

And what’s up with this? “…all I see are a bunch of HIV infected rabbits that have reached the end of their evolutionary path…”? Shame on you. Try pumping some life-affirming blood into those icy veins and see what happens. Do not stand in judgment of something you cannot or will not participate in. It makes you look like a bounder.

Good Luck

February 4, 2006July 6, 2013

LETTERS, LETTERS, WE GOT LETTERS

Dear Doc,

So you’re a sex therapist – very interesting.

Here’s one for you – not that I am trying to get free advice – but when I meet someone I really like – which just happened about 6 weeks ago, I sometimes have a hard time getting hard. I know it is temporary – as when I am alone I always can get excited and masturbate at least once a day. I have a hard time relaxing and trusting the other person – any words of wisdom? Any ways I can relax. I just get stressed about it and worry that I won’t be hard – then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know physically I have a very strong sex drive – but just have never explored it fully with another person.

Thanks,
T

Hey T,

In terms of the intimacy problem you present, I think you pretty much answer your own question. You need to relax. Easier said then done, right? Relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, are very helpful, give it a try.

Some guys also have enormous emotional investments in every one of their sexual connections. This never makes for a relaxed encounter. And as we both know, no relaxation can also mean no erection either.

If I had to guess, I’d say you don’t have a great deal of sexual experience to draw upon; this too can add to performance anxiety. There’s a pretty simple remedy for that too. Go out and get the experience you need.

Sexual experience for the novice fucker is as essential as behind the wheel experience is for a novice driver. The more experience one has behind the wheel, or in your case, in the sack, the more likely that person will be a relaxed and confident driver, Mmm…I mean…fucker.

Good luck

Dr. Dick,

I’m 55, single, and never have been with a man. I view the gay galleries and j/o. Frightened to come out and even more frightened to have an affair. Am I gay or not, is the first question. Second I’m really turned on by men of muscle in the galleries and jo daily.
—from dilemma

Dear dilemma,

You have many more pressing emotional and psychological problems than your concern about jerkin off to muscle boy smut and what it might say about you being queer.

When I get this sort of letter from an 18 year old I tend to be a bit more compassionate. After all, a young man doesn’t have the bank of life experience that you do to help guide him in his journey of self-discovery. But you’re 55 years old, for christ sake! Where have you been for the last 30 years? You’re crippled with a shit-load of fear, guilt , shame and self-loathing and that sucks (and not in a good way either). When do you suppose you’re gonna get around to addressing all this baggage, darlin’? You ain’t no spring chicken no more, honey! Time’s a wastin’.

Dr. Dick suggests that you place a moratorium on chokin’ the chicken for a few weeks and spend some of that down time with a qualified therapist who’ll help you face your fears and embrace your identity. For the time being, I can safely say that you are not gay. Dr. Dick reserves that designation for those of us who can self-identify with pride.

Good luck

Ok, Doc. I gotta question for you. I was “playing” with a friend of mine this past week and every time I top him, he can’t stand getting fucked for more than 10 minutes. We start off with him riding me. Then after let’s say 5-7 min, I turn him over on his back and try fucking him with his legs in the air only to have him ask me to pull out after 2 min b/c he’s sore. This is the 2nd time this has occurred. Would it be advisable to let him ride it for the duration of the fuck (I kind of like to be in control, but am totally cool with whatever the bottom wants as long as he feels good). Any other suggestions? I do rim and sometimes I finger him.
Anyway, I’d thought I’d ask a professional like you just so that I can be a better top.
—BMOC

Dear BMOC,

Do you ever bottom? The best advice I have for tops is to bottom on a regular basis. Really! In fact, my rule of thumb is, if ya can’t be a bottom you oughtn’t be a top.

Some tops are angry tops. They have something to prove, or more precisely, something they’re compensating for. That being said, I would add that in your case, your desire to be in control might very well be the root of the problem, at least with this particular bottom. Sounds to me like you are being too aggressive for this guy. Some boys like a nice gentle fuck. The fact that he’s more comfortable riding your dick then you pounding away at him tells me that he needs to be in control not you.

Good luck

Hi Doctor Dick.
I am a French black Bodybuilder into local contests.
My question: Can a dick turn curved from daily j/o? For some years my cock is “looking” to right.
Thanks for answer.
—Mike

Hey Mike,
No, frequent j/o has nothing to do with your dick curving one way or another. That is unless you’re brutalizing it in the process.
Your cock is made up of two blood filled channels (corpora cavernosa) and one sponge like tube encasing the urinary passage (urethra). Sometimes the two corpora cavernosa are not equal in length from birth. Sometime the shortening of one or the other occurs as a man matures. Either way, the result is a curve of the cock towards the shorter side. Some dicks also curve up or down a bit. This is TOTALLY normal and it’s nothing to be concerned about. If, however, the curve becomes very pronounced, or becomes uncomfortable, it can be a sign of trauma. This is technically known as Peyronies disease and can be corrected surgically.
The best bet is to make sure that when you’re jerkin off you treat your dick with care. Remember it’s the only one that you’re ever gonna have.

Good luck

May 5, 2005July 9, 2013

Better Living Through Chemistry??

Hmmm, maybe not so much anymore.

Nowadays it seems like the whole chemistry thing is actually impeding the better living concept. The epic proportion of crystal-meth addiction is just one indication that our relentless pursuit of “happiness” is actually making us really sick and miserable. However, crank is only one of the culprits.

Ya know, if each of us took the time, every now and again, and check in with our body, we’d discover that it has a lot to say. It tells us when we are tired. It lets us know when we are hungry. (That is, if we’re not so fucked up we can’t think straight.) And given the chance, our body will also tell us when we’ve had too much (even of a good thing). Besides making us look and act like idiots, excessive drug and alcohol consumption also short-circuits this important flow of information from our body to our mind. This has dire consequences for our wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around us.

Dr. Dick,
My partner and I use poppers during sex and have been doing so for the past few months. Recently, I have been having pain in my gums and teeth. I read that the use of “heart medications”, like poppers’, can bring on these symptoms. I wasn’t concerned at first until I realized that I experienced the same symptoms once before when we were using poppers on a daily basis. The pains stopped after the poppers did. Now we’re using them again and the symptoms are back. Could the poppers actually be causing the pain in my teeth and gums?
— Ken

Dear Ken,

This isn’t rocket science, darling. If you can put 2 and 2 together and come up with a plausible 4, shouldn’t that lead you to a probable conclusion?

Come on, you’re doin’ way too much poppers and you know it. Maybe it’s a lucky thing that your teeth and gums are alerting you to your excess. But, hey, if you choose not to heed your body’s signals then you must be brain dead.

If you use a stimulant every time you have sex, you run the risk of desensitizing your body to the natural “high” that sexual activity provides us. You short-circuit or over-ride your body’s own pleasure producing hormones — endorphins. You also alter, and not for the better, your natural sexual response cycle. These are real concerns that are rarely spoken about when popper use and health risks are discussed. There is the real danger of altering your sexual response cycle to the point that you will never be able to enjoy sex without a stimulant. This is already an epidemic among those who use crystal-meth.

Stop now.

Good luck

Dear Dr. Dick
I have been in a relationship with this guy…he is 43 and I am 50. He admits that he is an alcoholic and I knew that when this relationship started a little over two years ago. The problem now is that I am having a hard time handling his “slips” and his mood swings which pushes all my wrong buttons all the time, lately. Do you think or advise that we end this relationship? Maybe we both need new partners. It is not that I don’t love him….I do. But I am tired of the same pattern…and I don’t think that I am ready to be any more patient then I already have been. Please help me in making a decision. Also, I have been recently diagnosed with HIV and will be starting my meds regime shortly…therefore sex has been rare if not absent. That may be another problem.
— Confused and Hurt

Dear C&H,

Sounds to me like you’ve already made up your mind about the destructive nature of your relationship with your alcoholic partner. Do you just need someone to ratify your feelings, or give you permission to do the thing you know you must do? If so, I happily provide both.

You know you shouldn’t be in this relationship and I know you shouldn’t be in this relationship. So what are you gonna do about it? Get out before it destroys you too. It’s obvious that there will be one casualty in this relationship, your partner. There doesn’t need to be two.

Your partner needs help and he’ll never get it if you continue to facilitate his self-destructive behaviors. If he doesn’t reach out to get some help, he’s sending you a message that the booze is more important to him than you are. This is not love, so I suggest you not call it that. It may be some kind of obsession, but it is definitely not love.

Whatever it is, let it go.

Good luck

Doc,
I got a question for you. One of my fuck buddies gets a small rash around his piss slit. It flares up every couple of months and stays for about a week. He says it itches like hell, but it feels good when he pisses or cums. The skin around his slit gets very rough the peals of. What could be the problem and is it dangerous?

P.S. please keep my name secret because if he finds out I told someone, his feelings will be hurt. I think he is scared he my have a STD.

Well then, we’ll just have to keep your little secret, won’t we?

Listen, my friend, if I were you I’d encourage my fuck buddy to see a doctor right away. STDs (or more properly, Sexually Transmitted Infections) aside, inflammation and itching, particularly the kind you describe, are always signs of a serious dermatological disturbance. Medical issues like this, especially if they reoccur, should not be taken lightly. His body is trying to get his attention, for christ sake. What is he waiting for, a neon sign?

At the very least, left untreated, something like this could develop into a really serious infection and your friend could lose his dick altogether. No time to lose, pup, have him get this looked at right away.

Good luck

February 18, 2005July 7, 2013

Liberating The B.O.B. Within

So ya finally decided to become a B.O.B. (Big Old Bottom)? Tired of missing out on all that ass-play everyone’s talkin’ about? Been secretly trippin’ on the exploits of your favorite porn stars? (“Jeez, would ya get a load of that. His hole looks like the Victory Arch in Paris, for god sake.”) And now want a piece of the action for yourself? But wait, there’s a wrinkle, you’re a virgin or worse yet, there’s been an “Exit Only” sign on your poop chute for so long that the mere thought of someone diddlin’ your ass hole makes you blanch and swoon.

Dear Dr. Dick, Help! I want to be a bottom; at least I think I do. My boyfriend’s been begging for my booty big time, (my girlfriend just got herself a strap-on, YIKES!) but I’m just too tight down there and he’s really big (and she thinks turn-about is fair play). Our play time always end the same way, frustration for him (her) and a pain in the ass for me. How do those porno guys and gals do it?

First off, darling, “porno guys,” as you so lovingly refer to them, are professionals (yeah, huh!). And Dr. Dick suggests that a novice butt pirate like you not try that fancy stuff at home before you know the basics.

So listen up, bottom wannabes, pleasurable buggering depends upon on three simple, but important things: 1) The will, 2) Being relaxed and 3) A considerate partner.

First. You gotta really want to get fucked. This may sound elementary, but it’s not. Some of my clients secretly confess that they don’t anyone near their precious tushie, and no amount of pleading and whimpering on the part of their long-suffering partner(s) is gonna change that. For some getting it up the ass is associated with domination not pleasure. Manly men don’t bottom for nobody. (Oh sure Mary, me thinks you doth protest too much.) Others have religious reservations. (If god wanted me to get fucked he would have given me a vagina.) Still others have aesthetic concerns. (Oh no, that’s way too icky and messy.) I can assure you that these boys ain’t never gonna be a bottom no how.

Second. Let’s just say your dyin’ to get fucked, but you’re so intimidated by your top’s one-eyed monster that your quivering asshole is like totally shut down. Chill out! Why not begin your sex play with your partner giving you a relaxing sensual back rub. After awhile he could move on to a little butt play (and I do me play). The object here is pleasure not penetration. Have him tease your asshole with his finger. A tongue works nicely too. (This is called rimming, but you probably already knew that, because you’re not a complete idiot, huh?) A gentle circular motion works best. Have him use his hands to spread your ass cheeks, this will give your top better access to your rosebud and give you a double dose of pleasure. After a while, a lubricated finger can be inserted for a bit of a prostate massage, which is ohhh sooo delicious. When you’re ready to kick it up a notch, have your partner try inserting two fingers or a small dildo. Rhythmic deep breathing will help keep you relaxed. And when you’re all loosened up and ready to become like one of them “porno guys or gals,” you can him plug in the real thing. No more meat substitutes for you. Experiment with different positions. Try sittin’ down on that big old thang, or do it doggie style. Getting laid while on your side with your man comin’ at ya from behind gives you a bit more control over the depth of his thrusting. And of course, there’s also the traditional missionary position; you on your back, legs spread eagle and your pumps pointing to the stars.

Third. Having a big dick doesn’t automatically make a guy a good top. A considerate partner, big dong or not, will happily join you in exploring your asshole. He will concentrate on pleasing you first, because he knows that an investment in your anal pleasure today will reap a harvest of mutual pleasure tomorrow. (Coming soon! Dr. Dick’s tutorial for tops. Don’t miss it.)