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This Is How Guys’ Junk Stacks Up Against Each Other

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Will Varner / BuzzFeed

Over 150,000 readers took our very unscientific, informal poll that, which asked people with a penis what their habits with their beefcake are…

Nothing was off limits with questions ranging from size, shape, maintenance, and even insecurities people have.

These were some of the most popular results:

Most guys consider their dick size…average. Specifically, 66% of those polled or 75,000 people say they’re between 4-6 inches.

Most guys consider their dick size...average. Specifically, 66% of those polled or 75,000 people say they're between 4-6 inches.

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

68% of pollers answered that they’re growers not showers. Specifically, 69,400 people said they only get big when it’s time for action.

68% of pollers answered that they're growers not showers. Specifically, 69,400 people said they only get big when it's time for action.

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

Manscaping is a thing: 38% of people said they keep it trimmed down there because it looks good. But, 28% of people keep it very tidy, with little to no hair. And, 26% said they just live and let live down there.

Manscaping is a thing: 38% of people said they keep it trimmed down there because it looks good. But, 28% of people keep it very tidy, with little to no hair. And, 26% said they just live and let live down there.

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

55% of pollers admitted to being circumcised, 34% said they were not, and 11% of responders admitted that they are circumcised but they’re not OK with the choice their parents made for them.

55% of pollers admitted to being circumcised, 34% said they were not, and 11% of responders admitted that they are circumcised but they're not OK with the choice their parents made for them.

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

Dick pics aren’t as prevalent as the Internet would have us believe. 49% of responders said they’d rather show their member in-person than actually send a dick pic. But, 22% say they’d happily oblige if asked.

The Results Are In, This Is How Guys' Junk Stacks Up Against Each Other

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

Breathe easy because 66% of people say one testicle definitely hangs lower than the other. But if you’re not made that way don’t worry because 24% say that they’re pretty even.

Breathe easy because 66% of people say one testicle definitely hangs lower than the other. But if you're not made that way don't worry because 24% say that they're pretty even.

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

32% of responders say they’ve seen their friends penises and it’s not a big deal at all.

32% of responders say they've seen their friends penises and it's not a big deal at all.

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

40% of people say they’ve never tasted their cum before…but 36% say they have and 24% said maybe. Yum!

40% of people say they've never tasted their cum before...but 36% say they have and 24% said maybe. Yum!

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

When reaching the “big O” 27% of people say that when they shoot it hits their chest. 26% say it’s definitely a lot that cums out. But if you’re not in that boat, don’t worry because, 24% of people say the fluid just kind of just oozes out.

The Results Are In, This Is How Guys' Junk Stacks Up Against Each Other

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

Complete Article HERE!

You’re Pulling My Leg

Name: Jerry
Gender: Male
Age: 60
Location: Minnesota
I have a fixation with prostate stimulation. I have recently been giving myself perineum injections to the prostate with 2/3 xylocaine and 1/3 sodium cloride. The xylocaine is 2% with ephinepherine. I am careful to clean the injection site – just above the anus and use a 1 1/2 inch 25 guage needle injecting 3 ml. The feeling is fantastic when I hit the prostate. I actually feel the nerves take the anesthetic. I am careful to always make sure I do not hit a blood vessel before injecting by pulling back on the plunger. Is this fetish common? What dangers to you think are there? I find this a real turn on. I also have done many intra-rectal injections to the prostate but only use sodium chloride (salt water) as I cannot see the syringe to tell if I am injecting in a blood vessel. This requires careful cleaning of the anus but have never had any problems except very rarely giving myself an urethral infection.

You have got to be kidding! I mean really, Jerry! You want to know if this is a common fetish? Ahh, no, I’d have to say not all that much.hypodermic-needle

So I’m sitting here trying to imagine how you go about doing these alleged injections. What kind of physical position must you have to assume to see, and than land the alleged hypodermic needle on just the right spot on your taint (perineum) so that you hit your prostate? I suppose you allegedly do this with a mirror, right? But even then there’s plenty room for error, right?

It sounds like you been doing this alleged needle play for a while? I have to wonder, how in the world did you happen upon allegedly shoot up anesthetics right into your prostate? And where are you getting these alleged anesthetics, I wonder?

Everything about your story makes me very suspicious as to the authenticity of your reporting. If indeed you are doing precisely what you tell me, allow me to advise you to reconsider your actions. I don’t think this is a healthy pursuit for any number of reasons. And I suspect that you also have your qualms. I mean, why else would you ask me about potential dangers.not-a-golfer-cartoon

If you are experiencing periodic infections that tells me you’re not taking care of business properly. I’m gonna guess that you’re not properly attending to sterilizing the medical equipment you are using. And if your anesthetics are coming from a dubious source, well then anything can happen.

I’m guessing you have too much time on your hands, sir. Maybe you should take up golf.

Good luck

Spooge-alicious!

My wife fantasizes about cum swapping with me and forcing me to lick my freshly deposited spooge out of her vagina, but every time we try, just after I ejaculate, I loose my nerve. I have tried to taste my own cum before, and it really does turn me on, but there seems to be a huge difference between fantasizing and doing. I love my wife and want to fulfill her fantasy.
How do i get over my apprehension to gulping my own love juice?
Regards,
Chris

it's what's for dinnerOMG Chris! What are you, trying to do make me sick? Just kidding! What a spunky little spitfire you’re married to, my man. Nasty little piggy sex, it’s my favorite kind! You guys GO!

“Vaga-felching” or “lickin’ a creampie” is a relatively obscure fetish. The gays are more likely to felch, cuz they’re so into the whole jizz thing, don’t cha know. Vaga-felching is a-completely-nother thing…especially if it’s a straight dude doing the felching.

Ya see, a guy is always up for layin’ down and nice slime trail, but lickin it up again, especially after it’s been in the inner-recesses of a pussy…why that pretty much enough to make most straight dudes hurl.

I suppose you’re slightly ahead of the ballgame, considering you say you find the taste of your own baby batter a turn on. That’s a good start. The big hurdle, of course, is the having the same desires post-ejaculation as you do pre-ejaculation. And therein lies the rub, darlin’.

Ya see, when we’re in the throws of passion, when we’re totally aroused, we get in this state. It’s exactly like a state of suspended animation, only completely different. 😉 Our senses — sight, smell, touch and taste are muted and our judgment is impaired. Which allows us to do all sorts of things we would never consider if our dick wasn’t hard. Just ask all the holier-than–thou preachers and politicans who’ve been caught lately with their pants down, so to speak. You know the old saying; “A stiff dick has no conscience,” don’t cha? Well, it’s kinda like that.spooge

All the nasty piggy little things we can groove on with a hardon, often evaporate once we’ve shot our load. And seein’ that ya gotta shoot your load in order to make a creampie, the fetching thereafter becomes considerably less tantalizing once you do, if ya catch my drift.

I suppose you could push past the hesitation you have with a little mind game. You could try to convince yourself that what was alluring before the creampie was made is the same thing as after. But then you’d have to override your reinstated judgment and senses of sight, smell, touch and taste to do so. But, if you ask me, I think you could do it. It’s just a little issue of mind over matter.

Get it? Got it? Good!

Boys Will Be Boyz

Name: TJ
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Location: ma
ever since i was a teen i have had the hots for my dad. i would walk into the bathroom on him, or his room to seesmoking him naked and to see his dick. i use to love catching him jack off. i loved to see him in his boxers, and would jack off in his boxers. i even would play with him when he was a sleep get him hard and jack myself off. i thought i was over this till he stayed with me over the weekend. he came out of the bathroom in just his boxers. i was only wearing my boxers also. i became hard and excited. the old thought of playing with his cock came back. that night i went into the guest room took out his penis from his boxers and played with it. till it was erect. i then took a pair of his boxers and jacked off in them. i am 41 now should i have out grown this attraction to my dad?? he knows i am gay, we have talked several times about my playing with him but should this attraction continue?? — lost and confused in dads boxers

This is precious, TJ. You’ve been fondlin’ and jerkin’ off your old man for decades, albeit while he “sleeps.” (He’s one hell of a deep sleeper, huh?) He knows all about you, your attraction to him and your late night play sessions with his cock and underwear. But he still comes for a visit. And predictably, you set upon him again in his sleep. How may more incredible things could you possibly add to a single paragraph?

And all you want to know is, is it odd that you continue to behave like this with your father and continue to have this attraction to him now that you’re 41 years old. AMAZING! Odd? Yeah, I’ll say it’s odd!

Where to begin? Oh skip it! If you and your dad (now somewhere in his late 60’s or even 70’s) are still playing at this little game it must be pretty harmless by this time.

Your behavior and attraction continue because you feed it, darling. No big mystery there.

Name: Alan
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Location: Victoria
I find it takes me for ever to jack off even watching videos it can take 40 minutes an when I do shoot it is only a small amount.

nipplesYou don’t say, Alan! I’ve never heard that question before. No wait, that’s baloney. I’ve heard and written extensively about this very issue.

Look to your right. See the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar? EXCELLENT! Now search for the terms: “Ejaculate” and “Ejaculation Concerns” and “Cum.”  Between these categories you will find the answers you are looking for.

Here’s a tip: you’ll also want to check out what I’ve had to say about “Kegels.” You’re gonna want to know all about these handy-dandy exercises to tone up your PC muscle. Both men and women need to attend to their PC muscle. Not sure what the fuck I’m talking about. Not to worry. You have some fun reading and listening ahead of you.

Good luck

The Suppressing Gag Reflex — A Tutorial

Arguably, the humble blowjob is the most common partnered sexual activity for men — straight, bi or gay.

It’s pretty obvious why the gays like to suck cock. But nowadays loads of straight women have taken to smokin’ some pole too. Let’s face it; it’s a great way to give pleasure. Regardless of whether it’s part of foreplay, after play, or the main event — like relieving the Commander in Chief in the oval office after a long day of commandering and chiefing, don’t cha know.

funny_sign_fail_14

Certain skills are essential for mind-blowing oral sex. The preeminent skill, of course, is mastering the gag reflex. But close behind that is keeping your partner’s spooge off your blue dress.

Did you know that the gag response is least active in the morning? That’s right, my pretties, you’re gonna have to know things like this if you aspire to getting a gold medal in cock sucking. Besides, tidbits like this also make for the most charming dinner party trivia.

Today we’re gonna look at three important aspects of understanding and suppressing that nasty gag reflex when chowin’ down on some love muscle.

1) ANATOMY

So let’s take a semi-serious look at the gag response and why we have it. Millions of years of evolution have Epiglottisprovided us the anatomical function we call the gag reflex to protect our throat. And as all you rocket scientists know an obstruction in your throat — in either your larynx, which connects to your lungs or the pharynx, which connects to your stomach could be deadly. And since us humans breathe more often than we swallow, the larynx is always open. We all have a piece of cartilage known as the epiglottis at the back of our throat that responds to swallowing. This is not to be confused with the uvula, which is that little thingy that hangs down from the back of your mouth.

Isn’t this fascinating? Aren’t you delighted you stopped by today? Hold on, there’s more!

The passageway to the stomach is fairly narrow, although you’d never guess that from the way some folks wolf down their food. The gag reflex protects us from getting something stuck in there. If the object being swallowed — a big old cock or a piece of cold pizza — can’t easily pass the opening of the pharynx, the epiglottis flaps triggering the gag response. This forces the foreign object — big old cock or cold pizza — out. This is a lifesaving reflex because it protects us from literally biting off more than he can swallow. And since there’s not gonna be a whole lot of biting off and chewing when we blow some dude, the gag reflex can be pretty pronounced.

bjbw.jpgThe object of this tutorial is to help us subdue this lifesaving reflex when needed. The first thing we should know is when suckin’ cock, the dick in question can’t get stuck in our pharynx because, happily it’s attached to the dude we’re blowin’. It can, therefore, be removed without the coughing and choking associated with the garden variety of gagging.

Let’s review, shall we? Your tongue, your salivary glands, your hard palate, your soft palate, your uvula, your epiglottis, your tonsils, and your pharynx are all parts of the sensory experience for you as well as your partner with his dick in your mouth. When you deep throat his johnson, your uvula and the epiglottis tickle his dickhead. I guess that’s why us mens like getting’ head so much.

Like anything worth doing, mastering the gag reflex takes practice. The most important thing to remember is that we cannot simultaneously inhale and swallow. Also the epiglottis is very flexible, while the pharynx is relatively rigid.

Let’s do some math. The depth of our mouth — from the lips to the curve in the pharynx just in the back of the throat is three of four to inches. The pharynx runs another five and half inches or so before the esophagus begins, which continues another eight or nine inches. That makes for total passageway available for swallowing cock between seventeen and nineteen inches long. How’s that for adaptability? Your throat is not just for sword-swallowing any more! As long as your partner’s prick is neither too wide nor too stiff to make the turn in the pharynx, an average cocksucker can completely swallow just about anyone for a short period of time while holding his or her breath.

2) POSITION

deepthroat-humor-pictureProbably you’ve already guessed that positioning the cock your sucking at just the right angle down your throat is crucial. Check it out. Take a deep breath; insert two fingers as far as possible into your mouth. Your fingers will bend easily downward. While you’re rootin’ around inside there, you’ll immediately have a sense of internal capacity of your oral cavity. Carefully placing a couple fingers at the back of your mouth shouldn’t cause you to gag, but moving them around might. This will underscore the importance of having the willie you’re about to swallow go in the right direction.

So let’s say you’re on your knees, with the intended cock right in front of you. If it’s rock-hard and/or curved upward, as some of those darling things are, that dick is gonna go pounding against your tonsils, making you gag, sure as shootin’. The dude’s cock has to go in and then down your throat, not up and against the roof of your mouth. Got it? Jamming his member against your hard palate will also be pretty unpleasant for the owner of the said cock. This could easily give his dickhead a real owie!

This brings us to the ever-popular sixty-nine position. It’s so popular because it points the dude’s rod toward the base of your tongue, thereby successfully navigating of the curve in your throat.

3) BREATHING

bananaA proper breathing technique is as important as position to happy deep throating. The aquatic minded among us already have the key. Swimmers know that synchronizing one’s breathing with the motion one is making with his or her arms and legs makes for less effort and more stamina. The same is true for the person gulping a big one…or even a small one for that matter. You’ll want to inhale while doing down on his cock, exhale quickly while coming up, then inhale again going back down. The deeper you inhale on the down stroke, the longer you’ll be able to hold your breath. And PRESTO! The longer you’re able to hold your breath the deeper your partner’s baloney pony will disappear down your gullet. So you see, it’s exactly like swimming, only completely different.

For the non-athletes in my audience there is another way to learn to control the gag reflex. Simply practice holding your breath and swallowing at the same time.

We could all learn a lot from the little piggie cocksucker among us. They’re in this whole blowjob thing for the long haul, and they know that pacing one’s self is crucial. They know how important it is to pull off the cock from time to time, at least far enough to take in some air before going down on it again. If you try this you could make some yummy sounds while you pull off his cock. Or you could take it out of your mouth and look at it admiringly. He’ll be impressed that you like his rigid piece of art, and only you’ll know that what you’re actually doing is simply catching your breath.

You should know that deep throating a pleasure prong is gonna make a lot of saliva. This is a double-edged deep_throat_640_03sword. Great for keeping things lubed up, but problematic if that abundant saliva falls into the larynx and makes you cough and choke. If your saliva becomes a problem rather than an asset try relaxing for a bit with his cock in the forward of your mouth so that your larynx will open for breathing. This shallow sucking is a delightful counterpoint to deep throat sucking. You can also practice relaxing and stretching the muscles that regulate swallowing by opening your mouth wide, like in a yawn.

Whichever technique or combination of techniques works for you, remember to breathe. Accumulation of mucous will sometimes mean you have to take a break to spit. If you try to continue without spitting, it will just make your uncomfortable. And who need that?

Also when you deep throat your nose will run and your eyes will water. So if you’re wearing a lot of makeup when you’re blowin’ your guy, you’ll look like a raccoon with a clown face by the time you’re through. Some guys really like this. It suggests to them that they have a really big dick to have wreaked so much havoc.

blowjob-funny-humor-illustration-lol-quote-Favim.com-39125You’ll probably want to keep at least one of your hands on his pole while you’re sucking it. This will give you more control, especially when he starts pelvic thrusting.

It is a good idea to keep a hand on his balls too, as they are usually a good indicator of how close your man is to cuming. As he gets closer to shooting, the skin on his scrotum tightens and pulls his balls towards his body to warm them up. You can let this happen on its own, or help out by stimulating his jewels with your hand, tongue, or mouth.

Finally, common mistake most women and some men make while blowin their guy is using only their mouth to repeatedly bob up and down his weener. This is neither pretty or particularly helpful! Some folks continue doing this until they get a sore jaw or neck. A good deep-throatin’ blowjob should not be too repetitive. The wise cocksucker will keep her/his hands busy throughout. She’ll include stroking his dick, exploring balls, thighs and asshole. By mixing things up, he’ll allow his mouth and throat muscles to relax. This will improve one’s performance and will subdue one’s gag reflex.

Good Lick…I mean Luck…ya’ll.