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Look ma, no hands!

Hey there sex fans!

Welcome to another edition of Product Review Friday!

The Dr Dick Review Crew is at it again. In fact Review Crew members, Glenn & Hank, have been HARD at work reviewing a male masturbation device. And they’re here to tell us what kept them so preoccupied.

RealTouch interactive sex device for men —— $249.99

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “Have ya ever lusted after a sex toy? Have ya ever wanted something so bad that you were willing to do just about anything to get your grubby little hand on one? Well, that’s how we felt about the RealTouch.”
Hank: “Damn straight! We started seeing ads for this device a few years ago. We begged Dr Dick to get us one to review. He said he contacted the RealTouch people directly for a unit to review, but never heard back from them. We figured we were simply out of luck.”
Glenn: “That is till a few weeks ago when the good doctor called me with the news that he had a RealTouch to review. I almost wet myself over the good news.”
Hank: “Glenn couldn’t keep the good news to himself, so he called me at work. ‘Drop by Dr Dick’s on your way home and pick up our new review product.’ Typical of Glenn, he wouldn’t tell me what was so important. I had to find out for myself.”
Glenn: “I wanted Hank to be as surprised as I was. And sure enough, later that day, he comes bounding through the door like a puppy with this big box under his arm.”
Hank: “Big box is an understatement. It’s huge! Ok, for those of you who have been living under a rock for the last few years and missed all the ads for the RealTouch, we’d better start with what it is. It’s a high tech, multi-media jackoff machine. I kid you not.”
Glenn: “The box is so huge because it has a shit-load of parts. Each part is individually wrapped so that by the time you’ve unwrapped everything you barely have the energy assemble it. And it does require lots of assembly. Besides the ginormous RealTouch unit itself (3.5 lbs mind you), there are cords, power adapter, a ‘USB Mini-Tower’, instruction manual, a DVD, and a small bottle of lube. Holy shit!”
Hank: “When we had everything unwrapped and laid out in front of us, we both looked at each other in amazement. Here’s a tip: you absolutely need to follow the extensive set of instructions provided in the package or you will be totally lost. Don’t even think that you’ll be getting to use the RealTouch right out of the package.”
Glenn: “By this time, I’m seriously beginning to reconsider my lusting after this monstrosity. In addition to having to assemble the thing ya gotta install a software application on your computer. Ya know, I think we forgot to mention that this jerkoff machine only works in response to specially prepared videos. Neither Hank nor I could figure out the software installation instructions. We actually had to call the customer service line for help. We were thinking to ourselves, what kind of person works for the call center for RealTouch? They must get off on fielding calls from frustrated masturbators. It’s also super creepy knowing that RealTouch knows when you are using their product. They know who you are and where you live and they can tell when you’re connected and logged on to their web site. This privacy concern really put me off.”
Hank: “Since the RealTouch works with online videos you absolutely need to register your unit. There are 10 free videos scenes, both gay and straight, that come on the DVD inside the package. But the corker was we couldn’t tell what content the free videos contained; we had to search for the gay themed videos. Of course, if you’re willing to shell out even more money than the $250 you’ve already spent on this appliance, you can purchase or rent lots of other videos. The RealTouch video library is searchable by category or sex act. Just so you know, you can’t use any of your own videos in conjunction with the RealTouch. What a racket!”
Glenn: “But wait there are more headaches to come. Part of the assembly requires you to fill the special lube reservoir in the unit prior to use. And you have to do this each and every you use the blasted thing. Ya see, the lube is automatically dispensed during use. And guess what? You’ll need 3.5 ounces of lube to fill the thing. That’s right; on top of all the other expenses involved with this monstrosity your lube budget will go through the ceiling.”
Hank: “Are we having fun yet? So the parts that come in conduct with your cock, basically two belts with tracker-like treads are made from soft TPE (Thermoplastic Elastomer). When the RealTouch is working properly the belts rotate in an attempt to replicate the feel of the action being displayed on the video. Frankly, after all this setup and frustration I was completely under whelmed by the sensations.”
Glenn: “We had to clear off our entire computer desk just to accommodate this thing and all its wires, cords and power adapter. I watched Hank readied his cock and insert it in the RealTouch. I held my breath. If that thing injured my man’s precious johnson there would be hell to pay.”
Hank: “Glenn is real protective of my cock. The instructions say the RealTouch has a vaginal depth of 9”. I’m hung 9”, and I’d say they are exaggerating things considerably. And despite the fact that it’s as big and bulky, most of the action was concentrated on my dickhead. I couldn’t say it was doing much of anything for the shaft of my cock. And this thing is fuckin’ LOUD!”
Glenn: “And what’s all this about vaginas? What about assholes? I’d be willing to wager that a good portion, if not the majority of guys who buy this behemoth are gay. The manufacturer doesn’t even tip his hat in that direction. The packaging is all straight-oriented too. It’s like they’re totally clueless.”
Hank: “Oh, and the RealTouch heats up too. It’s supposed to heat to body temperature, but I think the one we got was defective, because it overheated. It was actually too hot. While the belts do provide a variety of sensations, there’s nothing special about them. I kept thinking to myself, ‘when are we gonna get to the good parts?’”
Glenn: “I stood aside and watched in amazement. The RealTouch was churning away gobbling Hank’s hog. It was a sight to see. Remember all that lube we added to the reservoir? Well, the unit is supposed to “get wet” like a real vagina by releasing that lube as it churns away. (I wouldn’t know about that!) But before ya know it the RealTouch began to leak lube everywhere. WTF? Who’s gonna clean up this mess? Luckily we didn’t’ get any lube on the keyboard or mouse. But that’s only because Hank had the foresight to bring a big damp towel to his RealTouch session. He had to thoroughly wipe his hands before he touched the laptop. There’s nothing that ruins an erotic moment like worrying about getting things messy.”
Hank: “It’s true. What a disaster! And the clean up? Forgetaboutit! You not only have to disconnect the RealTouch from its power source and the computer, but you have to disassemble the unit itself. A good portion of that lube we put in the reservoir was wasted. I had to take the blasted thing into the shower with me to clean it.”
Glenn: “In the end I decided not to even bother trying it myself. You talk about being disappointed.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Desperate measures

Name: Jake
Gender:  Male
Age: 18
Location: London
I have never had sex mostly because I have never managed to approach the person. I am bisexual and am desperate to have sex with a guy or girl. What are the best ways to approach someone for sex?

Never managed to approach a person for sex? Are you just shy, or are you a total geek? Either way, my friend, you gotta get over yourself if you ever hope to get laid.

Ok, so you’re just 18 without a lot of experience in the ways of the world. Here’s what I tell everyone who asks me this question, regardless of age or gender. When it comes to asking for sex, I think the direct approach works best. Just so long as you’re not gonna be a dick about it. If you haven’t already discovered, baggin’ a chick will probably take a bit more finesse than pokin’ on a bloke. And coming on to a mate will take a different approach than hittin’ up a stranger for a shag.

If there’s a bit of charm about you, your task will be considerably easier than if you are some crude Neanderthal who just wants to notch his belt. If you’re not sure what your selling points are, ask a friend for his or her feedback. If he or she tells you nice things bout yourself, you might be in luck. If he or she tells you that you’re a charmless creep, you’ll have your work cut out for you.

Regardless what group you fall into — the “maybe fuckable”, or the “not fucking ever,” you can always improve your image and hone your unique style. Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free. Dress like you mean to impress. Doesn’t need to be fancy or fussy, just make it look like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself. Make yourself interesting, have a point of view, but share it sparingly. Have a sense of humor about yourself. If you can’t be clever or witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part.

The internet is a great place to test the waters. Dating and hook-up sites abound. Put up a profile…with a photo or too. Here’s a tip, save the dick pics for the queer sites. Women don’t want to see your pathetic willie, at least not right away. One thing for sure, there’s nothing more unattractive to most women or men than a desperate fuck. Asking for what you want is good, pleading to be taken out of pity is not!

Few women are as casual about sex as are most men. So if a woman tells you no, she just may be shy, or not ready, or not sure. If a guy tell you no, it’s not the end of the world. He’s probably not into your type. Since there are so many fish in the sea, if you’re immediately not successful, move on. Sometimes getting laid is a situational thing. Being in the right place at the right time is helpful.

Chicks are gonna be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a girl then for a boy. If you’re not well versed on methods of contraception, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both. Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom regardless your partner’s gender.

If you’re dick is hard, it’s not the right time to talk about sex with a woman, but it might be the best time to hit up a dude. Women don’t necessarily like the lean and hungry look. Men tend to groove on it.

There are lots of different ways to have sex, so what might be appealing to one person may not be to another. Hand jobs and/or blow jobs are often more easy to cum by than full-on fucking with both chicks and blokes.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat a prospective partner, regardless of gender, with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure whatever words you use will be more effective than if you’re an uncouth lout.

Good luck

The Summer Solstice 2012 Q&A Show — Podcast #337 — 06/18/12


Hey sex fans,

Happy Solstice everyone! Well, actually solstice isn’t until Wednesday, but who’s quibbling. Damn, this year is flying by. It seems like it was only a couple of weeks ago that we were welcoming spring. And, guess what? I just did the math; this is my 6th Summer Solstice podcast. Holy COW!

In honor of this milestone I have a delectable Q&A show in store for you today. We will be hearing a bunch of very interesting questions from the sexually worrisome, each will surely amaze and entertain. And I think we’ll have just enough time to do some SEX SCIENCE too. Stick around, sex fans, this is gonna be great!

  • William is using AndroGel for low “T”. Will it get his dick to grow?
  • Craig was snooping in his wife’s gym bag and found something interesting.
  • Chris and I have a lengthy exchange about his deep-seeded sexual conflicts.
  • Paula asks for my advice about purchasing a prostate massager for her hubby.
  • Gerard has blood in his semen.
  • Jenny asks if all fetuses start out as female. This triggers a SEX SCIENCE tutorial.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

You say you want a revolution…

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday. And we have another toy for your bum (or G-spot as the case may be) to tell you about. It came to us directly from the manufacturer, Nexus. This is the fifth product we’ve reviewed of theirs.

You have been following all our Nexus reviews, right? If not, you’re missing out. You can find them all HERE!

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Brad, is here to show and tell.

Nexus Revo  —— $199.99

Brad
Damn, it’s almost been a year since I posted my last review. I had to take a break from reviewing, because I guess I was getting burnt out. The toys offered to me didn’t spark any enthusiasm, so I simply declined the offers. I didn’t want to try to review something that didn’t at least pique my interest.

At any rate, when Dr Dick offered me the Nexus Revo to review I jumped on the opportunity. I’m a straight guy who really gets off on ass play. I make a point of saying I’m straight, because so many people assume if a guy is into his butt hole, he’s gotta be gay. Nonsense! Happily, the days of making that uninformed leap are over. More and more straight guys are discovering their prostate and living to tell the story.

Nexus is one of the companies that is making prostate massage a household word. I’ve turned a number of my clients, I’m a personal trainer, on to their very interesting line of massagers and stimulators.

The Nexus Revo is supposed to represent a REVOlution in prostate massage. And in a way it is, at least it was for me. I am very familiar with the vibrating massagers and the plugs that act as stimulators, but the Nexus Revo is different from all the others. The tip of the insertable end rotates. Very cool! There is also a vibrator in the end that stimulates the perineum too. The small nubs on this part of the toy are soft and pliable. While that’s not a new phenomenon, it is noteworthy.

Nexus is fond of calling the prostate the male G-spot, which makes me squirm. I hate P-spot too. Do we really need these euphemisms? Let’s put our big boy pants on and call it by its name — prostate. Maybe then the guys who don’t know where theirs is, or the pleasure it can deliver, will be prompted to look for it.

The Nexus Revo is the right size for newbies and advanced users alike, anyone can enjoy this toy. Hey, even women wanting to explore their G-spot will get off on this. The business parts of this insertable are made of 100% hypoallergenic, latex free, nonporous and phthalates free silicone. The other parts, the base, where the controller is and battery compartment, are made of plastic. And because this thing is silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with it. And all ass play requires lots of lube

The bumps and ridges of the Nexus Revo make for easy insertion. For all you butt hole novices out there, just insert one bump and ridge at a time. No need to try and insert it all at once. But once fully inserted your ass sphincter will close down on the final notch holding the toy in place. So it sort of acts like a butt plug, for the most part. This makes the Nexus Revo a hands-free stimulator, which I really like. Because I like to tug on my nuts and stroke my cock when my prostate is being pleasured. I liked using it best while lying down on my back or side. The base is pretty bulky, so sitting on it is uncomfortable.

The dual motors are strong and quiet. There’s a single button controller. A single push of that button starts the rotation, a second push gives you a pulse vibe pattern and a third push escalates the pattern and a final push of the button turns the thing off.

I liked the very unique and stylish packaging. Everything, except the little foam cushion at the bottom of the package is made of recyclable paper products. Thank you for being so conscientious, Nexus. There’s even a little black satin drawstring storage pouch included in the box. Very thoughtful.

So far so good.

Now my gripes.

The Nexus Revo is not waterproof. What where they thinking? Nexus could have easily gone the extra mine and made the battery compartment waterproof, but they didn’t. I simply don’t get that. This is a toy for your asshole, people! Those of us who love our holes want our insertable toys to be sanatizable. This one is decidedly not. I also like using my prostate toys in the shower and bath. There’s no way I can do that with this thing. Disappointed!

I also thought the battery compartment was poorly designed. I mean, not only is it not watertight, but it’s made of cheap plastic that I had to struggle with to close properly.

And why is there a battery compartment to begin with? This thing should be rechargeable. I mean battery-powered toys are so last decade. All you have to do is look around at the competition. There are GREEN companies out there that are producing 100% seamless silicone G-spot and P-spot toys that are completely waterproof and rechargeable and they are less expensive too.

What’s up with the one rotational speed option? I wanted to be able to kick it up at least one notch to get myself off when I was close. With the Nexus Revo I get close but there is just not enough stimulation to push me over the edge, if you know what I mean.

Hey Nexus, how can you ask your customers to shell out two hundred bucks for a battery-operated toy, with limited speed and vibration options that is not waterproof? Again, what are you thinking?
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Batter Up

Name: Trey
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Location:
I’m 17 years old. I hit puberty at age 10, so I have had time for my dick to grow, but it hasn’t. I’m 1 inch soft and 4 inches hard. Why? Is it normal? I mean all the other guys have dicks at least 4 inches soft and like 6-8 inches hard. Even one of my of my 13-year-old friends dick is honestly 6 inches soft! What is wrong with me? Why is mine so small? Is it abnormal for my age? I have heard that weight can have something to do with it? I’m about 240 pounds. Can you help? I can’t do surgeries or enhancement pills or whatever. I mean, give some names of medicines and I can talk to my doctor or something.

Normally I wouldn’t respond to yet another question about how one grows his dick bigger. I’ve already dedicated enough ink to this topic to last a lifetime. If you want the 411 on cock enlargement techniques of all types, all you have to do is use the search function in the header and search for topics like: cock size, cock shape and jelqing. Or look for these topics in the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar. You’ll find everything I have to say on the subject.  Here’s an example of what I am talking about — Much Ado About Very Little.

But for your benefit, Trey, I’ll summarize. Our dick size is determined by genetics, like our skin color, hair color, stature and the like. Permanent male enhancement by any means, short of surgery, is a fiction. And surgery is an exceptionally risky procedure, often times only making matters worse.

The only reason I decided to publicly respond to your question, Trey, is because you mention your weight. You tell me you are 17 years old and you weigh about 240lbs. That’s astounding, pup. Unless you are 7” tall and built like a brick shithouse, you must be considerably overweight, perhaps even obese. If I were you, darlin’, I’d consider my weight problem to be a much bigger liability then the size of my baloney pony.

Seriously, one sure fire way to add to your dick size is to lose weight. Think about it, if your unit is struggling to peek out from under a big fold of fat hanging down from just above your cock, you could easily add a couple inches if you trimmed the fat. But dick size aside, you’re simply carrying too much weight and at such a tender age. YIKES!

You know you are at risk for diabetes, circulatory problems and cardiac problems, right? Each and every one of these will impact in a very negative way on your sexual response cycle. So even if you could magically grow you dick bigger, your weight will defeat you; making it impossible for you to get it up and get it off.

I encourage you to seriously consider a lifestyle change, pup. Do it so you’ll have a bigger dick, if that’s what you really want. And in the process you’ll also insure a healthier heart making that bigger dick of yours function like it oughta.

Good luck

Name: razor
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Location: Texas
My partner and I have been together for about 8 months now. I can’t even say we had a great, awesome, sex life at first. There was something else. I thought I had found a good person and friend in him. He is very sexy, lean and hung. Honestly, I should really want him. I’m poz, and he’s not. I, wonder if that could be the reason, why I don’t desire him? Afraid that I might hurt him somehow. Or could this be just what I think it is, could I just not want sex?

Mmmm, I’d go with the first option, if I had to pick one. I’d be willing to guess that the disparity between you and your BF’s HIV status is indeed getting in the way of your eroticism. And that’s a big fat bummer, because it doesn’t have to be like that.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the lack of desire for this hot and hunky HIV- guy isn’t getting in the way of you guys having a good relationship, is it? The reason I ask is that many happy secure relationships are based on other things besides sex. You say he’s a good person and a friend. Maybe that’s all you need to make this relationship work and last. Most long-term relationships wind up being relatively sexless anyway. Instead of sexual fulfillment, the couple finds contentment in the intimacy and stability of the relationship. And that is often more gratifying than a vigorous roll in the hay.

As to your fears about possibly hurting your guy through sex…well life is full of risks, right? Your man is equally aware of the possibility of an accidental sero-conversion as you, right? But he stays with you. Why is that? Maybe he’s willing to take the risk; because he has this other connection with you…ya know the friendship thing. Maybe he is confident about the safe sex he practices. Maybe sex is not all that important to him, considering he’s in a relationship with a good man who is his friend. Maybe you just oughta ask him.

At the same time, there’s loads of very pleasurable sexual activities you guys could involve yourselves in which carry very little to absolutely no risk of an HIV accident. Maybe you just need to get a little more creative in your sex play. Lots of mixed HIV couples have figured this out already.

Fear is an ugly thing, Razor. It can, as you suggest, shut down a person’s entire erotic life. But I encourage you not to let this happen to you. Push past your fears. Work with a sex-positive therapist or an HIV support group, if you must. Just don’t settle for the status quo. Even if your current relationship isn’t dependent on a regular slap and tickle, you oughtn’t live your life like you are some kind of Typhoid Mary. That is if you ask me.

Good luck