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Short Fuse

Name: Marcos
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Location: new york city
I may have premature ejaculation, meaning after I’m exited I can’t hold it in (ejaculation) for more than a couple of minutes, which worries me regarding the pleasure I can provide… Suggestions, other than the eventual doctor visit?

The curious thing about premature ejaculation is that what constitutes “premature” is pretty subjective. Some men report that they can only last a minute or two, others say they can last only 15 minutes, but all consider themselves as premature ejaculators. I’m not trying to suggest that PE is a figment of one’s imagination, on the contrary. Any guy who isn’t satisfied with the control he has, or does not have, over his ejaculation may fall into this general category. In the same way, lasting longer, whatever longer, might mean is a relatively easy thing to accomplish. All ya gotta do is work at prolonging the pleasure.premature-ejaculators-anonymous

Let’s start with how you jack-off, Marcos. If I had to guess these sessions are speedy little affairs, right? A quick wank just to relieve sexual tension is a good thing, but if that’s all the self-pleasuring you do it will interfere with your partnered pleasure later. Look at it this way, if you body is sensitized to cumin’ quickly like while jerkin’ off just relieve tension, then that’s how it’ll respond later, when you’re with a partner.

I suggest that you reevaluate your self-pleasuring activity. Most, if not all, of your masturbation should be dedicated to full body masturbation. The object in this kind of masturbation is to play with the sex tension that develops in self-pleasuring and to delay the your ejaculation for as long as you can.

Here’s how it works, as you become turned on you build up sexual tension. I want you to move the sexual energy all over your body as you stroke your cock. Touch and pleasure your whole body — feet, nipples, asshole, what have you. Make the pleasure last as long as you can. As you approach the point of ejaculation, stop stroking your dick and concentrate your play on the other parts of your body. When the urge to cum subsides, you can start to stroke your dick again. Do this over and over till you can last 30 minutes. By the way, some people refer to this as edging or edge play — coming to the edge of cuming and then backing away. Get it? Got it? Good!

Premature_Ejaculation_ManThe purpose of this exercise, I mean besides the joy of gettin’ off on your whole body, is to teach your body a different way to respond to cock stimulation. If you practice this method conscientiously it will increase your sexual stamina when you’re with a partner too.

I also have in mind a swell sex toy that will help you overcome your premature ejaculation. I discovered the ideal device to help you or anyone else that wants to last longer. As you may already know I have a product reviews site, cleverly named: DrDickSexToyReviews.com.  I post reviews of all kinds of adult products — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. I reviewed the Fleshlight way back in 2007.

To make a long story short, the Fleshlight is, as I said, is a male masturbator, but a very unique one. I wrote in my review:icejack.jpg

“I always like to take my time with a new toy. Ya know, to get a sense of how the thing works and feels. This was particularly the way to go with the Fleshlight. Masturbating with one of these puppies has several advantages to your basic hand job. First, there is a delightful silkiness, and a tight consistent pressure on your cock throughout each stroke. In this regard pluggin’ a Fleshlight is very different than pluggin’ any human orifice I know. But that’s not a bad thing, mind you. Consider the guy who is dealing with premature ejaculation, for example. I’m positive that if he used a Fleshlight to train himself to last longer, he’d have way more success than if he just used his hand. This is an ideal device for practicing delaying one’s orgasm. And you can bank on that!”

Now when you’re having sex with your partner; do the same thing as when you’re doing your full-body masturbation. Spread the sexual energy around. Don’t focus on your pud. Concentrate on stalling your orgasm through the techniques you learned in your self-pleasuring. If you’re getting close to cumin’, pull out of penetration till you regain control; then reinsert.

This is going to take some practice, but I think it’s worth the effort. Once you mastered this there are other more advanced techniques that I can turn you on to.

One final thing, if you are concerned about the amount of pleasure you can provide, short fuse or not, I always encourage the men I work with in my private practice to look to pleasuring their partners before they even get warmed up themselves. But even after you cum, you still have a mouth and hands and fingers with witch to pleasure your partner, so there’s never an excuse to leave a partner unsatisfied regardless of your own sexual response cycle.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Awakening Your Sensual Self Post Cancer

Name: Doug
Gender: Male
Age: 58
Location: San Diego
HI: I need some help. I had my prostate removed due to prostate cancer. I feel I have lost my man-hood. I don’t experience hard-ons anymore. My penis is dead. Can you recommend something to help me?

It’s truly uncanny; in the past week alone I’ve received similar email from four different people. Each had a very different presenting problem, but all were experiencing very similar sexual issues. Get this, I heard from a woman in Japan who is recovering from a radical mastectomy. I heard from a guy in San Francisco who is recovering from a serious meth addiction. A young wife and mother in North Carolina whose husband, and father of her two kids, has returned from Iraq a basket case…and now you, Doug.prostatecancer_600x450

Its astonishing that, despite the dramatic differences in each of your life stories, all of you report pretty much same thing — you feel less than whole, disconnected from your sexuality and devoid of any real intimacy or meaningful sexual outlet. It is so amazing how, despite our unique individual difficulties, there are often a universal response to life’s troubling complexities.

Regaining a sense of your sexual-self after prostate surgery, or any of the other problems I mentioned above, is an arduous, but rewarding task. With your self-confidence in the toilet and zero libido to boot, I suggest that you begin your rehabilitation by connecting with others similarly challenged as you. In your case, it will probably be other cancer survivors. More likely than not, they will be a whole lot more sympathetic to your issues and attuned to your predicament. Sometimes, people who have yet to experience a life threatening disease or a disfiguring surgery don’t have a clue about how to interact with those that have. It’s not their fault, it’s just the way things are.

I suggest looking into a support group, if you haven’t done so already. Once you make that connection, you will find, that you are not alone. Other people similarly challenged as you are experiencing many of very same things you are. And to my mind, it’s way much easier to face and handle life’s difficulties when surrounded and supported by others.

AGDD_front coverOne word of caution; my experience is that many disease-based programs and support groups shy away from intimacy concerns. This is a real tragedy, because this is the one aspect of healing that consistently remains unaddressed by the medical profession. That is way I included an entire chapter about the intimacy and sexual needs of chronically ill, elder and dying people in my book — The Amateur’s Guide To Death and Dying; Enhancing the End of Life. I encourage you to check out the book; it’s loaded with amazing sex-positive information.

Next I suggest that you first try connecting with people on a sensual level as opposed to a sexual level. I firmly believe in massage as the best say to accomplish this. Think about it. Imagine the good you’ll be able to do for others, as well as yourself with therapeutic touch. And, to my mind, therapeutic touch also includes sensual touch. It will soothe so much more than the jangled nerves and disrupted muscle tissue caused by radical invasive surgery. It gives the one doing the touch a renewed sense of him/herself a pleasure giver, which is totally important to us all. And when you receive the touch, it will begin to reawaken sensory perceptions you thought were lost for good. And your libido as well as your erection will bloom again. I promise. Here’s a tip: to keep that stiffy goin, I encourage you to use a cockring.

Now if you feel your massage skills aren’t up to par, why not take a class or workshop in massage. You might want to look to something like the Body Electric School Of Massage. They have load of training options. And learning is a hands-on experience. What could be more liberating than that?

If a class is a bit too intimidating at first, you might consider purchasing a book on massage. A great primer is: Male Erotic Massage by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a holistic approach to bodywork, including the sexual and the spiritual aspects of Male Erotic Massage. There are over 200 photographs in this volume that reveal both massage techniques and the beauty of the male body embracing the male body. The strength, the joy, the gentleness, the ardor, the tenderness, the equanimity, the pleasure — they are all included.

Another title is: Erotic Massage, The Touch of Love also by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a more inclusive volume of erotic massage. It describes long, flowing strokes for the whole body, including female and male genitals. By the way, this was the very first massage book to explicitly illustrate genital massage. The techniques described are simple and easy to perform. It’s superbly illustrated, and the text is both tender and playful.Massage

Finally, your gift of massage is the ideal way to connect with another human, be it a friend, a family member, lover, or even a stranger. Your touch can be either seductive or non-seductive, or maybe a little of both. You can count on this purposefully touching to open new doors. You’ll discover new pleasures, both subtle and profound, as you give as well as receive touch.

I encourage you to push beyond the isolation I know you are feeling, Doug. Purposeful touching, like massage, will change your perceptions about sex, sensuality, and intimacy. And like I said, it will also resurrect your boner. I know this can happen. I’ve seen it happen. Doug, now it’s your turn to make it happen!

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

The Erotic Mind of Alexander — Podcast #368 — 03/18/13


Hey sex fans,Me with comic 2

Are you ready for another edition of The Erotic Mind show? Well, get the hell out the way if you’re not. As you probably know, this is the series where we chat with ingenious erotic artists of every stripe from all over the freakin’ world. And all of these conversations revolve around one simple principle — uncovering something of the creative process involved with this specialized art form.

Today my guest is the oh so charming and ever so talented artist and illustrator, Alexander. But ya know what? First we have to slip on our travelin’ shoes, because we have to take a little field trip. Today’s destination is Liverpool England, where we will meet our young guest in his natural habitat. I’ll bet he’ll be shirtless and wearing tight jeans!

Alexander and I discuss:

  • His big, fat, uncut…talent;
  • Ridehard — ten years in the making;
  • The peculiarities of his characters;
  • Meaty story and hot sex;
  • What comes first — story or images;
  • Why a spy;
  • Being published by Class Comics;
  • TwinkyTunes;
  • Being a child prodigy;
  • When the erotic element began to show up in his work

 

Alexander invites you to visit him on his website HERE! And look for him on Facebook HERE! And Twitter HERE!

Click on the thumbnail images below to see a slideshow of some of Alexander’s delightful work.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

A Slice of Heaven!

Hey sex fans!

Welcome to this our latest edition of Product Review Friday. Today we welcome yet another innovative company to our review effort, Ladygasm. You’ll be seeing more products from them in coming weeks, but today Dr Dick Review Crew member, Angie is here with our first review.

Let’s go see what’s on her mind, shall we?

The Ladygasm Nirvana— $79.95

Angie
Dr Dick tells me that people have been asking about me. I guess they’ve been wondering how I’m doing. Those of you, who haven’t been following my reviews, won’t know this, but I was diagnosed with lymphoma over two years ago. I mentioned this in the last review I posted on April 27th, 2012 and apparently this sparked some concern.  Well, I’m good; and I’m still alive; and I’m happy to report that my libido is nearing its pre-diagnosis levels once again. So yay for that! Actually, I think my husband is even happier than I.

Now that I’m feeling much better I was overjoyed to be invited to review a wonderful new vibe called Nirvana. And let me tell you, it is a slice of heaven.nirvana1

The Ladygasm (How fun is that name?) slogan is “Pleasure Simplified.” And I think that says just about everything that needs to be said. The Nirvana is beautifully designed, easy to use, well built and fairly priced. It is made of rose-colored medical grade silicone, which is nonporous, phthalate-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It is exceptionally soft and smooth. There is no texture to it. It is velvety to the touch. It is a highly stylized rabbit design. That is, it’s an insertable G-spot vibe with a thumb-shaped clit stimulator.

The control panel is in the handle. There are two easy to press silicone buttons — an on/off button and a function button. These buttons have a light behind them that flashes when charging and lights up when on. I really like the one button on/off switch feature. I hate having to cycle through all the speeds and patterns just to turn off a vibe. This on/off button doesn’t activate the vibrations, mind you. The second button, just below the first, does that. There are seven patterns and three speeds. And the Nirvana is remarkable quiet.

The Nirvana is completely waterproof and rechargeable. To my mind, these are two indispensable features of any high-end vibe these days. If someone one tries to sell you something that isn’t both, don’t bother to give it a second look. The Nirvana recharges via a resealing hole in the base of the unit. You simply insert the jack into the hole to charge. While charging the control panel light blinks, when the light stops blinking it is fully charged. Beautifully simple!

My husband loves the Nirvana too, because its stylized design makes it appropriate for couple play. He does not like insertable toys that look like a penis. And on that point, I can’t say I blame him.nirvana2

Because the Nirvana is made of 100% silicone, you can only use a water-based lubricant with it. And because it is waterproof, it cleans up and sanitizes easily making it a sharable toy. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. To sanitize, wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

The packaging, a black cardboard shell in a see-through sleeve, is simple but elegant. Ladygasm also thoughtfully includes a drawstring storage pouch for your convenience and storage purposes.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Help! It hurts when I do this.

Name: Dylan
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Australia
Hi Dr Dick, I’ve got a painful and irritating problem that my GP wasn’t able to help with, so I’m hoping you can. After I spend time edging, or develop blueballs, I get an intense burning sensation in my urethra. It usually doesn’t happen until after I cum, then urinate, but occasionally it’ll happen while edging. If I sit on the toilet and push as though urinating, it calms down significantly, but returns when I stand up. It usually goes after about half an hour of. I had a STI check (Urethral Swab. Oww. No sounding for me thanks) and it came back all clean, and in all other respects my junk is normal. Any ideas about what’s going on, or how I can fix it? Thanks!

This reminds me of the old joke where a guy goes to see his doctor about a pain he is having. The doctor sits him down and asks him where it hurts. The guy says, “It hurts when I do this.” And he takes his hand, makes a fist and punches himself in the side of the head. The doctor nods knowingly and says, “Stop doing that, and I guarantee the pain will subside.”

give up dickListen Dylan, whatever the root cause of the burning sensation you report is — and I can honestly say you have me stumped there — I pretty much can guarantee that it will subside if you cease the edging you are doing, or at least cut way back on that.

Like I said, I’ve never encountered this particular phenomenon before, so I can’t advise you further. And if your GP couldn’t put his finger on it, so to speak, and the burning sensation only happens when you edge or practice orgasm denial, then simply stop doing that and things will get better. I promise. After all, it’s not like you can’t live without edging. If, on the other hand, you said that you had discomfort every time you had an erection, then there’d be cause for alarm. But if the owie is only associated with something self-induced, then that’s a horse of a different color. See what I mean?

And here’s a tip: if you’re doing something that is causing pain or discomfort — and that’s not your intention — then your body is sending you a message that whatever you are doing it’s too much or it’s unhealthy. I am of the mind that we all ought to listen more closely to the messages our body sends us about what it needs and what it doesn’t need.

Oh, and for those in my audience who don’t know what the fuck “edging” is, it’s a stop/start masturbation technique designed to prolong the time it takes a guy to reach his climax. An edger will begin to wank like normal, but when he gets near to cumming — he stops stroking, sometimes even squeezing his cock till the urge to shoot subsides. Once the urge to cum quiets down, he begins to stroke again. Stopping again whenever he approaches climax. He repeats this whole ‘stop and start’ cycle for as many times as he would like, so that when he finally shoots he’ll have a stronger orgasm and he’ll spew more spunk.edging

I know a lot of men who edge and they swear by it. I also know that a number of these men are doing themselves a disservice, even harm, because they are practicing an extreme version of edging. In the end, despite the stand-up nature of our dick, it is a very delicate instrument. Intense edging, especially accompanied by nasty squeezing or slapping to quell the building ejaculation can be injurious.

So maybe, Dylan, just maybe ya oughta take a break from edging for a while and see if this burning issue doesn’t resolve itself.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!