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Artistic Pleasure

Hey sex fans!

Welcome to the latest edition of Product Review Friday.

Have you noticed that we’ve been introducing you to a bunch of swell new manufacturers lately? Well if you haven’t ya’ll need to pay closer attention, don’t cha know. Today we continue that trend. We welcome yet another remarkably innovative company to our review effort. Say hello to Fucking Sculptures. This Berkeley California boutique glass studio is crafting eye-popping pleasure instruments so unique that we can hardly contain ourselves.

You’ll be seeing more products from them in the weeks to come, but today Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie are here with our first review.

Corkscrew —— $120

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “Where does the time go? It’s been over six months since out last review. But this isn’t the first time such an extended hiatus has occurred. Probably when you don’t hear from us for a while it’s because we’re out on the road. When life gets crazy, as it seems to do more frequently lately, Joy and I just hop in our RV and hit the road till we soothe our souls. You’ve heard of dykes on bikes, right? Well we’re dykes in a camper.”
Joy: “A glorified camper, mind you! We used to have this battered old pickup with a pop-top. But now we travel in style. We always meet the nicest people on the road. And on several occasions we’ve even introduced some of our sisters to the latest in sex toys. We like to think of ourselves are roving ambassadors of pleasure.”
Dixie: “We travel light, but not stupid. We always bring a toy or six with us, because, despite our destination, we never leave our libidos at home.”

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Joy: “Even though our RV has a lot of the comforts of home, we think it’s wise to bring at least one toy that don’t involve a motor. And this is where the Corkscrew from Fucking Sculptures comes in. It is made of exquisite soda-lime glass. Honestly, I don’t know a lot about the different kinds of glass other than the fact that this hard and sleek material makes for the ideal insertable.”
Dixie: “We are very fond of glass. In fact, the Corkscrew is our fifth such dildo. At the same time, it is unlike all the others. For one thing, all our other glass insertables we have are clear or with colored swirls in them. They are stunning, of course, but the Corkscrew stands out because it is densely colored; so dense that light won’t penetrate it, except at its tail. Ours is this deep forest green. And here’s a very cool thing about all the fucking art from Fucking Sculptures; you get to choose between five colors and three sizes. That means they well like make one just for you, to your specifications. How cool is that?”
Joy: “And, because each and every one of their sculptures is handcrafted, you can be sure that the insertable you choose will be unique. No one else in the world will have one exactly like yours. That’s art! That’s fucking art! And if you treat your sculpture with the respect it deserves, like you would any fine adult toy, this beauty will last a lifetime.”
Dixie: “Glass is practical as well as stunning. There are no batteries to run down, nothing to recharge. It’s ready when you are. And just think of the bonus feature of it being perfect for sensory play. The Corkscrew can be chilled or warmed. Its hardness holds the temperature beautifully. And unless you’ve tried this kind of play, you have no idea the pleasure it can bring.”
Joy: “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning are a snap. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, if you plan to share your glass toy, and they should be shared, I recommend sanitizing it by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. We even ran ours through a dishwasher cycle for no fuss, no muss cleanup.”
Dixie: “The Corkscrew we have is about 7” long with an up curled tail. It weighs in at a hefty 11.5 ounces. I think it’s the ideal toy for helping me with my kegel exercises. The entire insertable is a delicious swirl with its head being about 1.5” in diameter. The curled tail makes it easy to position for intense G-spot stimulation.”
Joy: “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our male friends that the Corkscrew makes a wonderful ass play toy too. Your P-spot will thank you. And you’ll never have to worry about it disappearing up your poop-chute; its tail will prevent that.”
Dixie: “You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.”
Joy: “Remember, the Corkscrew is art, so there’s no need to hide this beauty when it’s not in use. When we’re home it sits proudly on our mantle piece.”
Read Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Too Big!

Name: Jordan
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location ?
Hi, I’m a young male aged 18, and recently have become sexually active. I revealed my penis to my girlfriend for the first time and she said that I was too big for her. I am 9in when erect, and 4.5in in girth. Is this too big and if so what procedures are there to make it smaller?
Thanks

This is so precious; I love it. You are so precise with your measurements. I suspect that you pay a lot of attention to what hangs between your legs. Am I right?Sand-Cock

While I want to believe this is a legitimate question from a clueless pup, who is swingin’ some mighty big pipe, I actually have my doubts. If old Jordan here is pulling my leg, it’s ok. It’s been pulled a lot before. On the off chance that this is on the up and up, and our boy is really concerned about the size of his unit vis-à-vis his girlfriend’s equipment, I do have some things to say about how things…even big things…can fit into relatively small places.

But before we get to that, I thought we’d do a little remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vulva is made up of the same tissue as your penis and scrotum? In other words your cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. So if you follow the logic, Jordan, you’ll find the answer to your query. Pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks & balls.

Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now the variation in size and shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, etc, are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the thing itself. A vagina is best understood as a potential space. It is very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space from time to time. Please tell me you’re clear on that concept!

Well-HungAgain if you follow the logic you’ll realize that, just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson…well, that’s just a whole other issue, don’t cha know.

Second, and this is a most important point, I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice long conversation with your GF about her whoha. Do this before you start pokin’ away at this mysterious entity that you clearly don’t understand. There’s a good chance that even your GF doesn’t know her way around down there, so this will be a great experience for your both. Ask her for a little tour of her fine pussy. Have her show you around. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are plenty of ‘em. If you think your dick is talented, bub? Let me tell ya, it pales in comparison to a cunt.

Besides, this little exercise will give you a load of brownie points with your GF. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussies in general, which hopefully will make you a much better lover whatever comes your way in the future.

Finally, if your GF is concerned about your size it’s incumbent upon you to prove to her that you are an expert cocksmith. That you will make it your business to get her completely turned on before you attempt to administer that 9X5er. Here’s a tip: most women who complain about painful intercourse, regardless of the size of their partner’s hose, report that their offish partners don’t get them warmed up enough before commencing the fuck. No arousal means there’s no lubrication. No lubrication means there’s sure to be painful fucking ahead…even if you’ve got a puny pipe to swing. Get it?dick-tater

A word to the wise, Jordan, if a guy’s dick is hard it’s evidence that he’s aroused. If his partner isn’t lubricating big-time then she not aroused. Which tells me that the guy didn’t take care of business like he should have before he started to poke and prod with his one-eyed monster.

You want in? Better pave the way pup! And this will certainly include lots of a high-quality personal lubricant. Don’t know which one to choose? Check out my adult products review site, DrDickSexToyReviews. Look for the CATEGORY pull-down menu in the side bar; scroll down till your find the category — LUBE and presto!

Good luck

Lace Curtains

We hear from two different young men, both from the UK incidentally, who have a similar problem.

Name: Ste
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Location: UK
I haven’t got a really tight foreskin and can fully retract it when my cock is soft. However, when my cock is hard I can pull the foreskin back over the head but struggle to slide it back and forth so when I masturbate, I do so by keeping my foreskin mostly over the head! I’m a virgin and in a new relationship, will this cause me problems for intercourse???

Name: Mat
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Location: UK
My boyfriend and I both have dicks with foreskin. He can pull his all the way back until it rolls off the head and stays that way. No matter how hard I tug, mine wont retract off the head, so as soon as I let go it rolls back into place

Let’s start at beginning, shall we? When us boys are born we all have a foreskin. A good portion of us will have our unit seriously altered within days of showing up on the scene. Someone, possibly someone with good intentions, will lops off 50% of our cock skin and call it a day. I know, cuckoo, huh? Well be that as it may, those of us who escape this dastardly act have a foreskin, but it’s only open enough to pee through. And it only opens more if it’s stretched, and it only gets stretched if the owner of said foreskin pulls it back over his dickhead. No foreskin ever opens by itself; it gradually gets stretched open over time either intentionally or just through normal use.Foreskin Hug

Most little boys soon discover that pulling back their foreskin feels really good. After all, this unique piece of skin is chock full of nerve endings that register loads of delicious pleasure. A lad’s foreskin needs to be pulled back regularly, in order to stretch it open, and to keep it from shrinking shut again. It is important that the boy do this himself, so that it is pushed only as far back as feels comfortable to him.

Of course, there in lies the rub, so to speak. The sex-negative pressures of the prevailing culture, both here in the good old U.S. of A. as well as abroad, frown upon self-induced pleasure of any sort, even if it is associated with personal hygiene and necessary bodily upkeep. And so most boys get the message that fiddlin’ around down there, even for the purpose of essential maintenance is a no-no. Simply put, without manual stretching a kid’s skin can actually shrink, closing up again.

As the young fella approaches puberty there is, as we all know, a growth spurt. What most of us fail to take into account is that along with his legs, arms, torso, head and feet, his cock is also growing. His dickhead is increasing in size, and if the kid hasn’t established a healthy routine of foreskin stretching there is gonna be trouble. Witness my two correspondents!

hand & foreskinSince parents are not likely to encourage self-discovery of this sort, nor are they inclined to show their young sons how to properly care for this exceptional body part, the kid remains clueless till a problem arises. Wouldn’t it be so much simpler, as well as the responsible thing to do, for all parents with uncut boys to pass on this priceless nugget of wisdom. It would be so easy to do while their kids are enjoying their bath. Parents could show their boys how to retract this fold of skin so that it stays supple, as well as getting things rinsed out underneath. They could encourage their boys to always pull back their lace curtains when they pee. This will automatically keep things more lubricated and elastic, merely by the number of times a fella will handle himself to piss.

Ok, I’m gonna guess that neither of you, Ste or Mat, were instructed on the proper care of your natural cock. Am I right? So now we have some remedial work to do. Let’s start with a few foreskin stretching exercises.

Exercise 1 — While you’re dick is soft; retract your foreskin as far back as you can. Work two fingers in under your hood till you can touch the head of your dick. Now attempt to roll your hood forward and over your fingers. It’s like docking another dick, only you’re using your fingers. This exercise depends on you having your fingers inside your foreskin for it to be effective. In time you’ll be able to add three fingers, instead of just two. This will stretch your skin to the point you’ll be able to easily retract it over your erect dickhead.foreskin41

Exercise 2 — Grab each side of the foreskin opening and gently pull each side apart. Stretch the opening till it’s stretched with a tension you can tolerate, but that is not actually painful. Hold for a count of 10 and release. Repeat for 5 sets of 10 pulls per day, more if you can handle it. Here’s a tip, these stretches are best done after soaking in a warm bath or a long hot shower.

Exercise 3 — This is a variation on exercise 1. Insert a smooth cylindrical object into your foreskin opening, like the cork from a wine bottle. This object needs to be just large enough to stretch the skin without pain. Once inserted, leave it there for as long as you can during the day, or for over night. As your foreskin stretches you want to swap the one object for another with a larger diameter. If a wine cork is too big to start with, consider a smaller smooth wooden or plastic dowel. You can find these sorts of things at the hardware store. You might need to use a bit of surgical tape to keep these stretchers in place.

These exercises may sound a bit invasive or uncomfortable, and perhaps they will be at first. But don’t worry; you’ll live. In a short period of time you will have a much more pliable foreskin, one that you can retract at will and with ease. And when you’re sexually active with a partner, it will work flawlessly and exponentially increase your pleasure.

Good luck

Help! It hurts when I do this.

Name: Dylan
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Australia
Hi Dr Dick, I’ve got a painful and irritating problem that my GP wasn’t able to help with, so I’m hoping you can. After I spend time edging, or develop blueballs, I get an intense burning sensation in my urethra. It usually doesn’t happen until after I cum, then urinate, but occasionally it’ll happen while edging. If I sit on the toilet and push as though urinating, it calms down significantly, but returns when I stand up. It usually goes after about half an hour of. I had a STI check (Urethral Swab. Oww. No sounding for me thanks) and it came back all clean, and in all other respects my junk is normal. Any ideas about what’s going on, or how I can fix it? Thanks!

This reminds me of the old joke where a guy goes to see his doctor about a pain he is having. The doctor sits him down and asks him where it hurts. The guy says, “It hurts when I do this.” And he takes his hand, makes a fist and punches himself in the side of the head. The doctor nods knowingly and says, “Stop doing that, and I guarantee the pain will subside.”

give up dickListen Dylan, whatever the root cause of the burning sensation you report is — and I can honestly say you have me stumped there — I pretty much can guarantee that it will subside if you cease the edging you are doing, or at least cut way back on that.

Like I said, I’ve never encountered this particular phenomenon before, so I can’t advise you further. And if your GP couldn’t put his finger on it, so to speak, and the burning sensation only happens when you edge or practice orgasm denial, then simply stop doing that and things will get better. I promise. After all, it’s not like you can’t live without edging. If, on the other hand, you said that you had discomfort every time you had an erection, then there’d be cause for alarm. But if the owie is only associated with something self-induced, then that’s a horse of a different color. See what I mean?

And here’s a tip: if you’re doing something that is causing pain or discomfort — and that’s not your intention — then your body is sending you a message that whatever you are doing it’s too much or it’s unhealthy. I am of the mind that we all ought to listen more closely to the messages our body sends us about what it needs and what it doesn’t need.

Oh, and for those in my audience who don’t know what the fuck “edging” is, it’s a stop/start masturbation technique designed to prolong the time it takes a guy to reach his climax. An edger will begin to wank like normal, but when he gets near to cumming — he stops stroking, sometimes even squeezing his cock till the urge to shoot subsides. Once the urge to cum quiets down, he begins to stroke again. Stopping again whenever he approaches climax. He repeats this whole ‘stop and start’ cycle for as many times as he would like, so that when he finally shoots he’ll have a stronger orgasm and he’ll spew more spunk.edging

I know a lot of men who edge and they swear by it. I also know that a number of these men are doing themselves a disservice, even harm, because they are practicing an extreme version of edging. In the end, despite the stand-up nature of our dick, it is a very delicate instrument. Intense edging, especially accompanied by nasty squeezing or slapping to quell the building ejaculation can be injurious.

So maybe, Dylan, just maybe ya oughta take a break from edging for a while and see if this burning issue doesn’t resolve itself.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Spank The Monkey

Hey sex fans!

It’s Friday, and not only that, it’s Product Review Friday!

Over the years we’ve had a great relationship with the wonderful folks over at Big Teaze Toys. But sadly, we haven’t had any new products from them for a long, long time. In fact, the last review we did for them was in November 2009. (By the way, you can find all our Big Teaze Toys reviews HERE!

Happily, the drought is now over. Some weeks ago I talked Big Teaze Toys into sending me their newest creation. And oh boy, howdy! But wait, I don’t want to spoil the fun. Dr Dick Review Crew members Jack & Karen are here with their review.

VërSpanken Bumpy —— $31.29
VërSpanken Smooth Water Wieners —— $24.99

VërSpanken001

Jack & Karen
Karen: “My goodness, it’s been over a year since our last review. Where does the time go? We were busy with a move and then we welcomed a baby boy, our first, into our family. No wonder we’ve been out of the loop for so long.”
Jack: “Well, we’re glad to be back. And we have an amazing product to tell you about. It’s called a VërSpanken. I have the bumpy one, but it also comes in smooth and wavy. I’ll get to that in a minute.”
Karen: “I was kinda hoping we’d get a couple-oriented product as our first toy of the new year, so I was a little disappointed when I discovered the VërSpanken is toy for guys. That’s what I thought until I took a closer look.”
Jack: “It’s true, the VërSpanken is a male masturbation toy, but Karen and I have been using it together and having a ball. I only wish I had this thing that last couple of months of Karen’s pregnancy. I wouldn’t have worn out my hand quite so much.”VER-SPANKEN-WAVY-WITH-FOAMWIENERS-SOLID-PURPLE
Karen: “Since the baby I haven’t been feeling as sexy as I used to. I’m so glad my libido is slowly returning. But I still don’t often feel like getting involved in full-on sex and that’s where the VërSpanken really comes in handy. I don’t have to leave Jack high and dry just because I don’t feel like sex.”
Jack: “Ok, I think it’s high time for us to tell you everything you need to know about the VërSpanken. I know this is gonna sound weird, but my initial impression was that it looked like this big alien pussy.”
Karen: “He was looking at it vertically, but if you turn it sideways and look at it horizontally, it looks like a big alien mouth. It’s actually pretty comical.”
Jack: “Karen’s right! I guess you can tell I had pussy on the brain when I first saw the VërSpanken. That’s what happens when you go without for so long. Anyhow, there’s this black hard plastic housing that is hinged at the base and snaps shut at the top. When you open the black plastic case you see two foam inserts. These inserts come in three fun vibrant colors and three textures. These inserts are made of TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber).”
Karen: “Here’s how it works. You open the black plastic housing, lube up the deliciously spongy inserts, put your man’s penis between them and close the housing once again. It looks hilarious, but it drove Jack crazy with pleasure. The inserts make an encompassing sensation. You can move it up and down over the penis or twist it from side to side.”
Jack: “It’s true! It’s totally wacky, but oh so effective. Pumping my dick in and out of the VërSpanken is a kick. It’s so tight and the sensations are fantastic. I’ve used a few masturbation sleeves in the past, but I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s a one-size-fits-all kind a thing, and for once that claim is actually true. No matter the size of your cock, the VërSpanken will work for you.”water wieners
Karen: “But that’s not all! Along with the VërSpanken we also got two additional inserts called Water Wieners. Here’s where it really gets fun. The Water Wieners are like water balloons that you can heat or chill before popping them into the black plastic housing. This adds to the sensation play. One evening last week I blindfolded Jack and restrained his hands so he couldn’t touch his penis. I replaced the bumpy foam inserts with the warmed Water Wieners, lubed up the VërSpanken, and slipped it over his erection. I thought he was going to hit the roof.”
Jack: “Damn right! Holy shit, what a rush. I didn’t know if the Water Wieners were going to cold or hot and I had no control over how the Karen was using it on me. She just did what she pleased till I begged her to make me cum.”
Karen: “I loved being in control of his orgasm like that. Obviously a guy can use the VërSpanken solo, but I think couple fun is the best. I also like that it’s so easy clean. The squishy inserts easily pop out of the hard plastic housing and everything goes into a sink with warm soapy water. Then rinse and air dry; it couldn’t be easier. It’s safe, fun, and eco-friendly.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY