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Who’s up next?

Name: Sofia
Gender:
Age: 54
Location: Arizona
You are sick Dr DICK! I believe that porn is a sign of weakness in men and women. They cannot control their need and put their personal relationship in harm. Its degrading towards women and it gives off the wrong message to men about women. Porn is very harmful in peoples daily lives. Relationships come to an end because of men’s porn addiction. Men have lost families, wives, girlfriends etc. because of porn. Men find themselves defending it so much that they end up losing the people in their lives who do not agree with it (wives, GF, BF, etc.) What does porn leave them? Nothing! Lonely nights with no one by their side and a PC full of nasty images. Porn leaves men lonely and pathetic. Men are destroying their lives to make a porn filmmaker more wealthy. What a great exchange.

So nice of you to drop by, Sofia, and thank you for being so solicitous about my health. Yes, I was sick, I had a little cold there for a couple of days, but I’m much better now.

Oh wait, you’re saying I’m sick because I don’t share your repressive opinion about pornography. I get it; you’re another moral crusader who needs to denigrate those who don’t share your beliefs. What is up with that?

Ya know the thing is, darlin’, I actually share many of your concerns — a lot of porn is harmful and exploitative. It also can be very disruptive to people’s lives and can cause serious damage to otherwise healthy relationships. I mean how difficult was it for you to come up with that critique? Taking pot shots at porn in this sex-negative culture is like shooting fish in a barrel. Get over yourself, girlfriend.

And ya know what else, ma’am, all the things you accuse porn of — being harmful and exploitative, disruptive, damaging to otherwise healthy relationships — you could say about the worst aspects of organized religion, the fast food industry, our government, the credit card industry, the pharmaceutical industry, the medical industry, the war machine and it’s horrific profiteers, like Halliburton. And what about BP and the damage it is wreaking families, an entire way of life and on a whole ecosystem in the Golf of Mexico? The list goes on and on.

Hell, everything humans touch has the potential for becoming harmful and exploitative; it’s the nature of the beast. Even your own tirade is harmful to and disruptive to those of us who are trying to make a difference in the adult entertainment industry. Trust me, you would have made a better case if you said you wanted to help change the status quo in porn, not just point out its inherent flaws.

And what’s all this; “Porn leaves men lonely and pathetic”? Are you suggesting that you are the alternative? Perhaps, if you weren’t so bitchy and condescending your men wouldn’t turn to porn. Your abrasive personality and moral rectitude would drive the pope to porn.

Oh, and have a nice day! NEXT!

Name: Suzanne
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Auckland
Should a woman fake an orgasm to keep her partner happy?

Brilliant idea, Susanne! Rather than help your ineffectual lover overcome his inadequacy with the truth and a little tutorial on how to make you cum — lie to monkey about his sexual prowess.

I see nothing wrong with that! Other than when you’re done fuckin’ him, or he’s done fuckin’ you, the next unlucky woman he happens upon will have twice the work. She’ll not only have to tell him the truth — that he sucks as a lover — but she’ll also have to contend with his inflated ego. Thanks to you and the deception you practice, he’ll be convinced that he’s a fabulous lover when, of course, he’s a Neanderthal.

What could be wrong with that, Susanne? D’oh!

Name: Emily
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: Texas
How much should I tell my new partner about my sex life with my exes?

How about just enough to get his dick hard?

Hell, I don’t know! Some guys get off on hearing all the gory details of the sexual exploits of their partners, albeit, it’s a relatively small number of guys. Just keep in mind that most men prefer the bliss that is ignorance.

If you’ve been around the block a time…or six, maybe you best keep that to yourself till you find out how much the new guy can stomach.

Good Luck

Name: Phillip
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: Austin, Texas
Dr. D, I’ve never had a problem with my sex life up until now. My wife and I have been very happy with our physical relationship. But, about 8 months ago, in a very vivid nightmare, I dreamed we were making love and when I came, the ejaculate was blood. I came blood. Everything in the dream stood still as I watched, almost like a third person, as my life flowed out of me. I woke in a sweat, and we’ve not made love since. We’ve talked about the dream, tried to be intimate, but I’m simply not able to enjoy the contact anymore. This is someone about whom I care deeply and with whom I am deeply in love. Considering professional help but would like your take.

Interesting! Yet another case of how one’s psyche can override one’s eroticism.

This is nothing to be toyed with, Phillip. Like an earthquake, this vivid dream has jarred you out of your happy, healthy sex life with your wife. And like anyone who has survived an earthquake, or a similar natural disaster, you need to put your life back together again as quickly as possible. I encourage you to seek a sex-positive therapist to help you break the spell of this nightmare.

The longer you let this thing hang out there the more perverse it will become.

Good Luck

Name: Lorenzo
Gender:
Age: 33
Location: Italy
I can only get off by squeezing my cock with my thighs. I have done this for as long as I’ve masturbated. I only found out years later that you should use your hand. But this does not work for me. Is this normal or common?

Lorenzo, what you report is neither normal nor common. But do you really care about “normal” and “common” if this technique works for you? And what the fuck is normal anyhow — statistical normalcy? I think we can forget that being the arbiter of things sexual.

Apparently your masturbation technique isn’t any less effective than those who employ a more “common” practice — like using one’s hand.

Basically, there aren’t a whole lot of “shoulds” when it comes to the style one employs to squeeze one off — and in your case, I mean that literally. If squeezing your cock with your thighs works for you — SWELL, knock yourself out!

Since you don’t report that this method of getting off is getting in the way of your partnered sex, I think you should leave well enough alone and enjoy your uniqueness.

Good Luck

Name: Sam
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: London, UK
Dear Dr. Dick, I am a young gay guy, and when I masturbate I am able to achieve orgasm and ejaculate; but when I am with another guy I do not cum. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great time during sex, but my partner doesn’t get me off. This is not a person-specific thing — this has been happening to me since I was 16.
Call it “delayed ejaculation”, if you will; but it’s more like “non-existent ejaculation”! The weird thing is, I don’t mind myself; the foreplay and sex is totally hot and I’m as happy as a clam with that as it is. But my partners have always been frustrated and disappointed, as if ejaculation is the official mark of success to show the culmination of a great fuck. So they keep trying until they get tired, which I guess is inevitable.
Is this something I should be worried about if I’m otherwise okay with sex? Or should my partner be less concerned about the orgasm and just realize that it doesn’t bother me. Many thanks and kudos for such an informative site.

Hey Sam, thanks for your kind words about the site, they’re much appreciated.

As to the issue you present, it’s not particularly uncommon. Many people are unable to, or choose not to, get off in partnered sex. And there are several very common reasons why. Without going into detail about that, let me just ask one thing. Are you able to masturbate yourself to orgasm when you are with a partner, like you can do when you are alone? If so, maybe you could incorporate that into your sex play your partner.

It’s true what you say about some people thinking a sexual encounter is only “successful” if both partners shoot. That’s nonsense, as both you and I well know. There’s no necessary connection between an ejaculation and sexual satisfaction, just like there’s no necessary connection between an ejaculation and an orgasm. If you cave to that way of thinking you won’t help your misguided partners and you will be adding a good deal of performance anxiety to your sex encounters. And nobody wants that! Stick to your guns, Sam!

Good Luck

The Erotic Mind of John Woods & Cass King – Podcast #213 – 06/21/10

Hey sex fans,

HAPPY SOLSTICE EVERYONE! Damn, this year is flying by. It seems like it was only a couple of weeks ago that we were welcoming spring. Sheesh!

So remember how I promised you a knock-you-out line up of guests for our special Pride month shows? Well then, I got something for you today that’ll sure enough make you sit up and take note. In fact, we’re off on another audio field trip, one that will take us to the Theater Off Jackson, here in Seattle. We’re gonna visit with John Woods & Cass King, the exceptional talent behind the wildly popular and deliciously sexy vaudevillians known as The Wet Spots.

John & Cass are in town to produce their first full-fledged musical stage production called SHINE: A Burlesque Musical, which will run from JULY 8th through the 18th. They’ve invited us to drop by to visit with them between rehearsals. And I don’t mind telling you that I’m more than a little stage struck. I mean give me the roar of the greasepaint and the smell of the crowd and I’m a happy guy.

Besides the sparkling conversation, which brings a whole new dimension to The Erotic Mind podcast series, our guests will share with us one of their brand new songs, written expressly for the show. Get ready to be bowled over!

John & Cass and I discuss:

  • Vulgarity, filth and perversion? Maybe not so much!
  • The Wet Spots — a husband and wife team from the golden age of comedy.
  • How they got their act together.
  • The universal appeal of sex humor.
  • Their queer following.
  • The intensity of living and working together and their polly marriage.
  • Producing SHINE: A Burlesque Musical.
  • Their new songs for the show.
  • The creative process.
  • A musical about show business — a very old tradition.

John & Cass invite you to visit the SHINE: A Burlesque Musical website HERE! Or the Wet Spots website HERE! They’re on Facebook too, HERE and HERE!

 

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

 

Ring My Bell

It’s Product Review Friday and we’re back with yet another LELO product, or as they like to call them — Pleasure Objects.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Angie is ready and willing to show us around.

MONA Red —— $139

Angie
I’ve been watching for and reading about how many of my fellow Review Crew members have been enjoying their LELO toys. I don’t mind telling you that I have been more than a little envious of my friends, their toys and all the fun they’ve had. But now I finally have my very own LELO to tell you about.

This beautiful Pleasure Object is called MONA. And she is all LELO. By that I mean she comes in her own LELO signature packaging. Actually there are layers and layers of packaging. Inside the bright red glossy outer package there is a black matte finish inner box with a lift-off lid. Inside that there is an embossed lift-out carton that contains the vibe itself. Under that there are two separate compartments; one containing a satin drawstring storage bag and the recharging unit and the other containing a warranty pamphlet, an elaborate multi-language user manual and a glossy mini catalog of some of their products. Is this too much packaging? I’m sure many will think so. But it is a beautiful presentation for those lucky enough to be receiving MONA as a gift.

Once inside the box I am surprised to discover that MONA is considerably smaller than the packaging suggests. It’s just less than 8″ long, with an insertable length of no more than 4″. The insertable end is flared; a bulbous oval that is actually a very modest size. The thickest part being only about 4.5″, which slims down the curved shaft to down to about 2.75”. This makes it great for G-spot stimulation.

The vibrations can be used for clitoral stimulation as well. The insertable part of MONA has a soft and luscious red silicone skin (it also comes in purple) that is hypoallergenic. She sports a sweetly quiet motor that delivers the multi-speed and multi-pulsations. And the best part is she’s rechargeable! I love that I’ll never have to feed her batteries to make me happy. And when she’s happy; she make me VERY happy!

You must only use a water based lube with this silicone beauty. And you must keep your hands free of lubricant in order to adjust the controller. This wasn’t always easy to do. In fact, if I had to nitpick, I’d have to say that the controller was more difficult to use than I would have ever imagined. I wonder if others have a similar experience?

Like I noticed that the pulsations didn’t always change when I pressed the up button. In fact, I was certain I had broken MONA at one point, because nothing happened when I pressed the buttons. Maybe I just needed to apply more pressure or be more patient or something. But the indicator light in the controller went on, so I assumed that was all that needed to make things happen. In my estimation, the controller is the weakest part of the LELO design.

MONA comes already charged, which is very thoughtful. And it is so easy to charge. Just plug in the adapter and let it juice itself up. But be mindful that MONA should not be charged for more than 24 hours, as she will overheat. Here’s something else I noticed, when I used the highest speed and the steady vibration, I noticed a “singing” sound that concerned me a bit. I thought perhaps I was overly stressing MONA. As I precaution, I decided to dial her down, so to speak. I didn’t want to knock her out.

Here’s something really important you should know; MONA is splash proof, not waterproof. There is little rubber cover that protects the charging port from moisture. But if you somehow get water in there, which is very easy to do; or worse lube, be sure to let the thing dry completely before you try to recharge.

Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

MONA sleeps in her satin storage bag, where she waits for me to arouse her. And she is always glad to see me. MONA comes with a 1-year warranty that covers her working parts. Her 10 year guarantee states that if anything goes wrong with MONA at any time in the 10 years you own her, you can return her for disposal, and LELO will give you 50% off your next order from their web store. So there’s that.
Full Review HERE

Just a teensy bit naughty

It’s Product Review Friday and we veer a little to the kinkier side of things. Thanks to our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com we have a handful of edgier toys to tell you about.

Here to spread the news are Dr Dick Review Crew members — Ken & Denise, Christa, Jack & Karen and Brad.

So without further ado…

Leather Wrist Restraints W/Red Hearts —— $39.20

Ken & Denise
Denise: “We scored big time with these fantastic Leather Wrist Restraints. These things are the real deal too.”
Ken: “Yeah, I was hoping we’d finally score some good kinky shit, because we were getting tired of reviewing the awful stuff that had been coming our way lately.”
Denise: “So true! But these beautiful black Leather Wrist Restraints with the playful red leather heart inlay design make up for recent disappointments.”
Ken: “Like Denise said; these are the real deal — sturdy black leather and metal studs and buckles. Very hot!”
Denise: “They are comfortable, because they are totally adjustable. There are 11 holes for the buckle. I have very small wrists and Ken has massive wrists and these Leather Wrist Restraints fit us both. They don’t have a lining, like some restraints I’ve seen, but the leather is soft and the edges are sealed and rounded so they don’t cut off my circulation when I’m wearing them.”
Ken: “They also work as ankle restraints for Denise, because she is so petite. But they aren’t big enough for my ankles. I wonder; do they make matching ankle restraints in a men’s size?”
Denise: “If you think you may enjoy a little role-play or power-play, these are the Leather Wrist Restraints for you. They are relatively inexpensive, but they are built to last.
Full Review HERE

Keeping with our heart theme…

25.5” Red Metallic Heart Bat —— $24.93

Christa
They call this thing a Red Metallic Heart Bat, but it looks, feels and handles more like a riding crop. But whatever you call it, it is fuckin SWEET!

I brought the Red Metallic Heart Bat home the other day; pulled it out of the bag and I thought my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex , was gonna swoon. I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. He’s like this total ass whore. I was his first girlfriend to finger him and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time. So now I have a little something to smack his ass with when I’m pegging the livin’ daylights out of him.

A crop is not as painful as a paddle, but it still offers up a great sting. And if you smack the bare skin just right, besides getting a very satisfying snap, you get this adorable heart imprint. Nothing says love to your sub like a heart-shaped welt on his behind.

The Red Metallic Heart Bat is exceptionally stylish as well as being very practical. It’s 25.5” long; it has black plastic stitching up the length of the stem, which is topped off with the red leather heart. It has a leatherette handle with nice metal finishings.

I have to admit I got totally wet the first time I used this crop on Alex. I had him bend over the arm of the couch and drop his drawers. He, of course, obediently obliged me. I came up behind him and began to tickle his ass and balls with Red Metallic Heart Bat. He immediately got hard and started to ooze precum. I spread his legs farther apart and lubed up his hole. I had his favorite butt plug lubed and ready. As I placed it against his pucker and pressed it home, I brought down the crop with a snap. I swear; Alex didn’t know what hit him. He let out with an animal like sound; a kind of howl and a scream together, so I knew I hit my mark, both literally and figuratively.
Full Review HERE

Nipplettes Purple —— $20.45

Jack & Karen
Jack: “So here’s some fun for everyone.Nipplettes are cute vibrating tit clamps.”
Karen: “They are adjustable, although they never really clamp all that tightly. Which makes them great for beginners. They are easy to operate; a simple one push-button control turns them on and off. There’s just the one speed.”
Jack: “Nipplettes don’t have a very strong bullet vibe either. But I guess novice players wouldn’t want the vibration to be all that strong anyway, right?”
Karen: “Nipplettes look like clothes pins with the bullet vibe inside the top of the clamp. They are made of plastic with a rubber coating that makes them even less scary to play with.”
Jack: “They are battery operated, but not waterproof. The package says they are waterproof, but they are NOT. So be careful there. Karen mentioned they are adjustable; and they are. You adjust them by twisting a small plastic screw on the base of the clamp.”
Karen: “The vibe is relatively quiet, but they do have a tendency to rattle, which was a little annoying.”
Jack: “We found that Nipplettes can only be used while laying down. Since the clamping action isn’t very strong they tend to fall off if you’re standing of sitting. This was the really annoying part. I mean if you can’t move around while they’re on, what good are they?”
Karen: “Oh, and we happily discovered that Nipplettes are not just for your nipples. In fact, I think they are better suited to other parts of the body.  I used them on my labia and clit and totally loved it. Jack used them on his foreskin and his testicles, and he like that a lot too.”
Full Review HERE

Finally, we have…

Pecker Ball Gag —— $9.59

Brad
I though to myself, so ok I know this isn’t a professional grade ball gag, but it could be fun. And I was right…at least the first couple of times me and the GF played around with the Pecker Ball Gag.

It has this soft, little penis shaped gag the size and shape of a Champagne cork. It’s not really a gag, because you actually bite down on it. So it’s more like for show than it is for serious. But we knew this is just for fun and it would be the perfect thing for beginners.

The “gag” stays in place by means of an adjustable leather strap, which is pretty sturdy, but not all that long. So if you have a big head like me, you won’t be the one wearing the gag.

So far so good, right?

Unfortunately there are these two other little straps on either side of the gag that that connects it to the sturdy neck strap and they are like totally fuckin lame. We used the Pecker Ball Gag exactly twice before one of the little straps broke rendering the entire thing useless. WTF? This just goes to show you that a toy is only as good as its weakest part.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Wild Things

Name: Terre
Gender:
Age: 54
Location: Nashville
I’ve been in a relationship for over 11 years. For sex, I was always the top; occasionally I would bottom. However, now that I have developed erectile dysfunction, I’m lucky to get slightly hard. I cannot penetrate my partner any longer. I’ve tried reversing roles; however, my partner is no good at being a top/aggressive and I’ve found anal sex much too painful including bleeding and profound pain after only attempting to be penetrated by my partner. What can I do to get over this hump? What other things can I try to maintain sexual balance in my relationship?

Get over this “hump,” Terre? You’re such a punster!

Have you tried a cock ring to keep yourself hard enough to bugger your old man? How about dildo play? You still get to be the top and he still gets to be the bottom, it’s just that you’re using a meat substitute instead of your salami.

And what’s all this about you being unable to take it in your bum? I have written extensively about learning to bottom. Check out some of my earlier postings, especially Liberating The B.O.B. Within. Use the site’s search function in the sidebar to your right; type in “Tutorial for a Bottom” and/or “Tutorial for a Top” and PRESTO! Once you’ve read through those tutorials you can find loads of other helpful hints on the site by clicking on the CATEGORIES section, also in the sidebar; scroll down till you find “Ass Fucking”.

Maybe you need to look at alternative sex practices that don’t involve his rump and your rod? Is ass fucking the only thing you guys can think of in terms of sex play and mutual pleasuring? That seems pretty limiting. How about some kinky power play? That sure enough will keep the sexual balance in your relationship. There’s bondage, discipline, milking, jelqing, CBT, edging, fantasy play, watersports, fisting, flogging, massage, rimming, cock sucking, role playing, group sex and vibrators — just to name a few.

How about hiring a pro to attend to your needs? A hot, hunky escort to fuck your partner and do god knows what to you. You see, darling, just because you are 54 and live in Nashville don’t mean your brain’s gone dead…or has it? Like I always say, if there’s a will there’s a way. And hey, maybe that’s a good place to start. Maybe it’s time to check in with your partner to see what new things he’d like to investigate and go from there.

Name: Gilbert
Gender: male
Age: 53
Location: Ohio
I discovered plushie sex long before I knew there were other people in the world who love their stuffed animals as much as I do. At first, I just cuddled and slept with my special plushie, but then I couldn’t help but show my feelings. I wanted to consummate my love for my plushy. The first time I did this I didn’t do anything to my plushie directly. I simply embraced it while I pleasured myself to orgasm. Now my favorite method of expressing my love is to press myself tenderly into my lovers’ plush fur. It’s a truly exquisite sensation!

Lonely are we, Gilbert? YIKES! Say, is your plushie a girl plushie or a boy plushie? Are you sure your plushie, regardless of its gender, likes having you be so…how shall I say this…intimate? And what about the clean up? You say you press yourself tenderly into the plush fur. Good god; it can’t be all that much fun for your plushie tryin to get all your goopy spooge out of its polyester fur, now can it?

And your message isn’t so much of a question as it is a statement, huh Gilbert? Can I assume then that you just wanted to tell the world about gettin your freak on with your beloved plushie? DONE!

For those in my audience who are unable to fathom plushy sex, here is the 411 on this fetish. Some folks, like old Gilbert here, get started down this path by innocently stroking the stuffed animal over their naughty bits. This, I am told, can be the beginning of an intense connection with his/her plushie. Other enthusiasts aren’t satisfied till there is penetration. This is accomplished by modifying the creature at hand by creating what plushies call a ‘strategically-placed hole’ (SPH) on a said plushie. I suppose depending on the gender of the plushie; the ‘strategically-placed hole’ is either a plushie pussy or a plushie asshole, but I digress.

Some fetishists are on the receiving end of plushie sex. That is they create a ‘strategically-placed appendage’ (SPA) on their long-suffering plushie partner and make the little creature fuck them silly(er). SPA, indeed! I mean, god forbid that we call it what it actually is — a freakin’ stuffed animal with a strap-on.

Beyond the human on stuffed animal sex the plushie world also offers plushie on plushie sex too. Of course these are really humans dressed up as plush animals…I mean from head to toe…REALLY! These enthusiasts are generally referred to as furries. Isn’t that adorable?

There are furry sex parties, the like of which I will leave to your fevered imagination, where there’s no end to plushie perversion. I am told that it’s imperative that participants at these parties stay in character. How do you tell the gender of the furry, you might ask? Girl furries often have a bow in their fur. Boy furries, not so often. Ok, I made that part up.

Anyway, the furry outfits are equipped with Velcro held flaps in front and in back. These ‘strategically-placed flaps’ (SPF) give furries access to a fellow furry’s naughty parts. Full-on humping is proceeded by lots of sniffing and nuzzling…you know, exactly like ordinary animals do…only completely different. This is called yiffing. Honestly! Look it up.

I’ve had only two close-up encounters with real live furries. One was a client of mine. Another I met in an online chat room. The chat room connection was so delighted to discover that I was a sexologist that he could hardly contain himself as he revealed to me every gory detail of his furry sex life.

The guy who was my client revealed his furry persuasion in one of his early visits to my office. You see he was having this deep sexual conflict, and as it turned out, it wasn’t that he was dressing up as a big brown bear to get his rocks off.

Here’s how my client related the story.  “So here’s the deal,” the guy says. “I’ve been completely straight all my life. A couple of years ago when I discovered I was a furry I went to a few furry sex parties. At one of the parties another male furry began sniffing me and making sexual advances. I would have decked him if I hadn’t been in my bear suit. But because I was being my furry-self his advances were like this complete new turn on. To make a long story short, I got it up the ass but good that night for the very first time.”

You see my client was suddenly conflicted not because he was a furry, don’t ‘cha know. He was conflicted by the discovery that, despite being an exclusively straight macho dude out of costume, he was a freakin’ fag furry in costume. And that, my dear audience, is one of the most bizarre things the good doctor has ever heard.

Good luck ya’ll!