Search Results: How To Be A Top

You are browsing the search results for how to be a top

Pearly, Not Prissy

Hey sex fans!

Look, it’s the latest edition of Product Review Friday comin’ your way. This week we bring you another toy from one of the sex toy industry’s heavy-hitters, FunFactory. We’ve reviewed a bunch of their products over they years and we either really like ‘em or we don’t like ‘em all the much. So it’s been kinda hit and miss thing. To see all our other reviews use the search function in the sidebar, type in: FUN FACTORY, and presto.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy and Dixie, to see what they have for us today.

Pearly Rechargeable Silicone Vibrator —— $109.98

Joy and Dixie
Dixie: “We would like to introduce you to Pearly a new rechargeable vibrator from Fun Factory.”
Joy: “As you can see Pearly is one of those stylized rabbit vibes that are all the rage these days. What’s unique about this one is it’s short and pudgy. It’s less than 7” from stem to stern, with 4-1/2” in insertable length and less than 1-1/4” in width. It’s a sweet little thing.”Pearly01
Dixie: “Don’t let the diminutive size fool you. Pearly packs a punch. It features 12 impressive functions, which delivers amazing sensations to your G-spot and clitoris (or P-spot and taint) simultaneously. There’s nothing prissy about Pearly. Just so you know; comparatively speaking, it’s loud. It’s not loud for loud’s sake; the superior motor delivers deep and satisfying vibrations. They call it ‘deep vibration technology,’ but a rose by any other name is still loud, if you know what I mean.”
Joy: “Yeah, I was surprised by that too. And when you turn Pearly on, it starts at the midway point of the vibration mode. That will surprise some who are used to having things start out slowly before they work up to a more intense vibration. And ya don’t get to the pattern vibration till ya exceed the top speed.”
Dixie: “Pearly is made of high-quality latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypo-allergenic silicone. It is fully waterproof and easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. And it should be shared!”
Joy: “Pearly’s silicone skin has a matte finish. That means there’s a bit more drag with this finish than you would find with a standard silicone finish. You’re gonna want to use a lot of lube with it…water-based lube, of course. Because you know that using a silicone-based lube with a silicone toy is a no-no, right? It will mar the finish.”
Dixie: “I want to get back to the waterproof feature. This is why I like Pearly so much. I figure, if I can’t use a vibe in the bath, why bother? And, as I said at the get-go, this sweetheart is rechargeable. It comes with a USB Fun Factory Fun Click ‘N’ Charge Magnetic Charger and requires 6 – 8 hours of initial charge time.”
Joy: “Like with just about every rabbit-type vibe I’ve ever tried, Pearly just doesn’t fit me. It fits Dixie just fine, but I can either get the G-spot stimulation I’m looking for or the clit stimulation I need, but not both at the same time. It’s just the way I’m built.”
Dixie: “The control buttons are in the handle. You switch Pearly on using the FUN button and you scroll through the functions using the plus and minus buttons. You use the minus button to explore the intensity of vibrations and the plus button to explore the patterns and pulsations. Press the FUN button once again and the vibrations stop. I like this on/off feature a lot. I hate having to scroll through vibration modes to get to the off switch. Pearly also has a travel lock button.”
Joy: “Let’s recap, shall we? Pearly is body-safe, healthy, GREEN, rechargeable, waterproof, and powerful. It’s a bit pricy, but you’re paying for German engineering and superior materials. So I think it’s worth it.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Nothing beats threes

David
My wife and I have wanted to add a third person to our relationship. Would you have any advice for us on how we could do this? Is this something that you could assist us with? We are in our mid forties and wanting to do this with someone we can trust.
Please help.

Hey David, try using the search feature in the header. Type in 3-way and/or swinger. You’ll find a wealth of information (both written and audio) on the topic you raise.

Here’s a taste of what you will find:3way-78516707835_xlarge

Trying new things can be really fun especially when your playing with people you like and are turned on by. I’d suggest you keep the event light and breezy. Too many people try to script a 3-way to within an inch of its life, and that can ruin the whole damn thing. At the same time, just hooking up for quick shag can be a little too impersonal.

There is another way. I suggest that you, your wife and the potential partner start your encounter by getting a bite to eat together. A little food and a couple cocktails can be a great start to the adventure. No doubt all three of you will be a little nervous, so make this part of the outing sexy and flirtatious. Each of you could practice your seduction skills on each other. In doing so, you will soon discover the sexual hierarchy…and there always is one in these kinds of encounters. If there are any ground rules for the encounter, this is the time to mention them. You and your wife should have discussed this ahead of time. The more you discover about your potential partner in this non-sexual, but seductive environment the more prepared ya’ll will be for how the rest of the evening will play itself out.

If it were I, I’d want to get a sense of how experienced the other person is at having a 3-way. Other important questions; are either you or your wife bisexual? Is the person you are inviting to join you bisexual? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, you can be assured that the dynamic of the 3-way will be fundamentally different than if none or only one of you is bi.

Be sure to inquire about the sexual fantasies of your prospective partner and share some of your own. In most situations, all the partners in a ménage are equal. Make sure that your potential play partner knows what turns each of you on. You’d be wise to know in advance what turns him/her on as well. That will make the event go a whole lot smoother.

There are some fine videos in my How To Video Library on the topic. Look for the Video Library tab in the header, then search for 3-way or swinger.

Here’s another tip: I’ve done several podcasts with seasoned swingers. All these conversations are part of the Sex EDGE-U-cation show, don’t cha know. This series of interviews takes a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative lifestyles. We touch on topics both familiar and exotic. And I chat with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world. Here’s a fine example: The founder of Life On The Swingset, Cooper Beckett and his ever so lovely podcast co-host, Ginger. All these conversations about consensual non-monogamy are fun and informative. Don’t miss miss them!

Good luck

Hot Or Not

Name: Zoey
Gender: Female
Age: 40
Location: Seattle
Hello
I was surprised when my husband said our sex was just ok. I was skipping along thinking it was great. Now I feel stupid. I asked what I could do to make it better, but he didn’t give me any suggestion. Can you help me understand what I am doing wrong. How can I figure this out on my own? Classes? Lectures? Palm reading. I’m at a loss and at my age I want to have a great sex life but not just me enjoying it.
Thanks so much for your time.

I have lots to say about this topic. And most all of it has to do with the notion of mutuality and reciprocity; ya know giving to get, mutual satisfaction, and all of that.hot in the sack

I encourage you to look around my site for all the help you need. Check out the CATEGORIES pull-down menu in the sidebar to your right. You will find a wealth of sexual enrichment topics there. In fact there’s even a specific category named precisely that. Under the main category: ENRICHMENT, there is a subcategory called — Sexual Enrichment.  There’s another subcategory just below that labeled — Spicing Up Your Sex Life.  Or you can simply use the search feature by typing in the key words: sexual enrichment. I’ve made it that easy! And everything in the pull-down menu is alphabetized for your convenience.

Regardless on how you get there, you will find posting and podcasts aplenty on an array of topics.

Be sure to check out my Product Reviews site, Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews for great toy suggestions and other fun stuff to liven up a ho-hum sex life.

Don’t miss Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

Another great resource is Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.  The mind boggles at all the stuff you could learn there. And you’ll be learning from the pros too.

Finally, a word of advice to you. If you think you’re having hot sex, you probably are. If your partner or partners don’t think so; its up to them to work out a plan, with you, that will satisfy them more fully. Anyone who tells you that sex with you is merely OK, but won’t volunteer suggestions on how to make it better; is fuckin’ with your head.

Great partnered sex is the responsibility of both partners.

Good luck

Fear, Rage And Lust, A Volatile Concoction

It’s not often that I receive a message from someone that chills me to the bone. But what you are about to read does precisely that. Sadly, my correspondent chooses to remain anonymous, so I can’t address him directly or personally. But, with a little luck, this very unhappy person will return to my site and find the heartfelt response I’ve prepared for him. If not, I fear the worst will happen.

 

I was raised to believe that fornication would ruin my future marriage, and I believed it. But as time went on, and had trouble attracting women since I had social phobia, I noticed that no one else was waiting until marriage. I felt angry, as if I had been betrayed and left behind. As I get older, the possibility of finding a “pure” woman my age dwindles (I’m almost 30 now). I’m still a virgin myself, and fear having sex with a woman my age because she might judge my inexperience and clumsiness. I also fear that she would compare me with other men. I’m now an atheist, and I know these doctrines are wrong, but I can’t stop feeling jealous and depressed knowing that women my age have all loved other men by now, and I’ll probably never be anyone’s first. Is there treatment for this? Or even a name for this condition?

My friend, thank you for reaching out to me. I only wish you had done so in a way that I could communicate directly and personally to you. I will do my level best to be as kind as I can while I address your many-layered problem. But if I wind up being sharp with you, it’s only because I believe the situation demands that I not soft-pedal my advice to you. So here goes.ShameHands

You, sir, are in critical condition! Yes, there is a treatment for what you have and yes, there’s also the name for what you have. You suffer from acute misogyny. And my treatment recommendations are as follows.

You need to be in the care of a skilled professional, one who understands both your religious background and your current sexual malaise. I could be that person for you, but I won’t take on that responsibility through an anonymous exchange like what we’re doing here. Be a man, stand up, identify yourself, and own your shit. This will be your first step toward healing the rift you have between what you desire and what makes you angry and ashamed.

I can’t help but make the comparison between your message to me and those chilling videos made by the UC Santa Barbara shooter before he went on his rampage some weeks ago. Like you, he was motivated by his intense misogyny and his sense of entitlement to sex. And it scares the bejesus out of me that I have you within reach, all lustful and enraged, yet I am unable to help you personally.

RageI want to first address your religious upbringing. And I think I’m qualified to do this because I was a Catholic priest for 20 years, many years ago. As you now can see for yourself you were duped. The fundamentalism you were fed as a youngster has made you into a bit of a monster. It has made you sick with rage and lust and it has also made you as vengeful as the God of the Hebrew Testament. Surely you can see that nothing good can come from this volatile combination.

I call your condition misogyny because your lust and rage is directed toward woman. Somehow you got it in your head that you are entitled to some pussy and that pussy had better be virginal pussy to boot. And if you don’t get what you think is rightfully yours, because this is the birthright of all men, there is gonna be hell to pay.

Listen up, buckaroo; you are not entitled to anything sexual, no one is. You are particularly not entitled to pussy. And plank_in_eyewhoever told you that you are or suggested that you have something coming to you simply because you’re swinging some pipe between your legs is as big a fool as you are for believing that shit. I’m also pretty certain that you got this message right along with your religious indoctrination, which makes it all the more insidious. The curious thing is, I can’t tell if your fundamentalism is Christian, Jewish, or Muslim. And, in the end, I don’t suppose it make much difference. But I am willing to wager every cent I have that it is one of those three. I say that because monotheistic fundamentalism is at its core, misogynistic. The acolytes of the male god of these three traditions have enshrined the male privilege and women have been paying the price for that bullshit for millennia. It has got to stop!

When men, like you, get it in your head that one woman in particular, or all women in general, have deprived you of what is rightly yours, you know someone is gonna get hurt and hurt badly. Curiously, you don’t take yourself to task for your social phobia and awkwardness even though you acknowledge that these are precisely the things that get in the way of you making yourself attractive to the women you desire. Rather, it is somehow the fault of women because they won’t look beyond your loutishness to see the sweet guy beneath your caustic exterior. Sometimes I’m embarrassed to be a man.

perception-of-fundamentalismI’m sure glad you identified how fear and bitterness has crippled you. You are afraid that women will judge your inexperience and clumsiness and compare you with their other lovers. Welcome to the real world, my friend. We all make judgments; we all make comparisons. Just look at all the judgments you are making about women. Shame on you for trying to point out the speck in someone else’s eye while you have a plank in your own.

Instead of humbling yourself and asking for the help you need to overcome your social and sexual awkwardness, you project hate and show absolutely no compassion toward the very women who are in the ideal position to help you. What does that say about you?

This lethal concoction of hate, shame, fear, and a sense of sexual inadequacy is what perpetuate the rape culture that plagues our society. You sir, are the problem! And until you acknowledge the fact that you are the agent of your own frustration, and get your shit together, all the women around you should be afraid for their virtue as well as their life.

Another telltale sign of this facacta religious fundamentalism that has poisoned your psyche is your preoccupation with the virginity of your perspective mate. So you want someone “pure,” a woman unsullied by another man, huh? Well then here’s a tip. That kind of purity, if there is indeed such at thing, is reserved for someone equally pure; and I don’t mean sexually inexperienced. You should be pure of heart. And there is nothing pure about your heart. Your rage, shame, and lust defile you and make you base. You are, to use religious language, unclean.Love-Lust

It never ceases to amaze me that people, like you, think sex sullies a person. And yet you crave the very sex that will make you and your prospective partner impure. Believe me when I tell you this; even if you enter a marriage with a virgin, as a virgin, just like religious fundamentalists prescribe, you will come away from your first sexual encounter feeling as defiled as you know your wife will be. That’s because your sexuality is based in shame. Your vocabulary betrays you. No wonder even religious fundamentalist women keep their distance from you. You are like a suicide bomber’s vest, ready to detonate.

One more thing, you are definitely not an atheist. And no amount of you saying that you are will make it so. What you are is a disgruntled religious fundamentalist. I mean I completely understand why you are livid. You’ve been consistently lied to about sex and you never learned anything about love. Besides atheists don’t need any more angry doctrinaire lugheads, like you. They have plenty of those already. In fact, it’s often difficult to tell religious fundamentalists apart from atheistic fundamentalists these days. Everyone is so fuckin’ pissed off all the time.

misogynyHere’s my prescription for getting better. Start working with someone who will help you shed the terrors of your religious upbringing and who will show you the way to embrace a more caring and loving God? I think we both know that you will always be a theist; luckily you get to decide what kind of god will be your god.

Start working with someone who will help you heal the rift you have between what you desire and what makes you angry and ashamed. This will make you a happier person, a better person too. You will, in time, learn that sexuality is gift, not a weapon and certainly not an entitlement. You might even learn how to approach women as your equal, to honor them, not denigrate them. And if you give this therapy the time and effort it deserves you will no longer be jealous and depressed. And hell, you might even get laid.

Good luck

Don’t try this at home…

Hi,
In May of 2013 I was instructed by someone not to cum for a year. He also instructed me to play with myself, but any sight of pre-cum I must add six months of no cumming. This could go on for years. Of course I have six months added. I have also been instructed online to put my cock and balls in ice water for a year. I am to hold my cock and balls in ice water for 1 minute; pull out for 1 minute, then repeat this 3 times. If I spill water I add another minute. I also must set my laptop on my cock and balls with no cover, which I am doing now. This is to loosen my cock and balls so I can pull my cock and balls behind my legs during the night to stretch my scrotum and they want my balls to hurt me daily. I write this for you to understand I do as instructed even if it is by chat. My question is, will this hurt me in the long term? I must do it because I do not want to seem as a fake submissive. I guess what I really want to know is what could this do to me in the long run? I have many more things I must do; such as ruler spanking, tie up with weights etc. My instructors plan this on a yearly plus extended plan.
Thank you,
mike

submissive02You’ve been at this extreme cock and ball torture and ejaculation control for nearly a year and you are just now getting around to asking about the possible adverse consequences? Well that don’t make no sense at all, my friend.

And I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you are gonna continue this behavior regardless of what I may tell you. These “instructors” of yours, you only know them from online, right? Listen, I’m all for someone enjoying the life of a submissive. Knock yourself out with that already! What I don’t get is how you can submit to someone you don’t really know. How can you be sure these “instructors” have your best interest at heart and not just making you do stupid and dangerous stuff for their own gratification? Maybe they know they have a gullible twit on their hands who will do anything they tell him to do; and so they make this twit (you) do stuff that endangers his wellbeing. And here’s a tip, pal: doin’ stupid stuff just because some jerk online tells you to do it doesn’t make you a fake submissive. You clearly know nothing about Dominance and submission.submissive01

Here’s the thing, real submissives don’t’ gamble with their health and wellbeing. They also don’t entrust themselves to a Dom that will abuse the power exchange relationship.

The ejaculation control seems excessive to me, but it’s your body. Apparently this gets you off in some fashion or another, just not in the tradition “shoot your wad” sorta way.

male submissiveExtreme ejaculation control, especially over a long period of time will surely impact your sexual response cycle. This excessive edging may make cuming with a partner in the future difficult if not impossible. But maybe that doesn’t concern you. But if future sexual satisfaction with a partner is important to you then I’d suggest you cut back on ejaculation control ASAP.

The same is true for the CBT (Cock and Ball Torture) you’re doin’. Excessive stretching over many hours, like overnight, is not advised. Extreme stretching, like what you describe, can injure your nuts and damage the delicate tissues in your dick. If you want your family jewels to last, I’d suggest you cut back on the stuff you’re doing.

I also suggest that you find someone to dominate you who has your best interest in mind. Remember, BDSM and power play is not abuse.

Good luck

SEO Powered by Platinum SEO from Techblissonline
Get Adobe Flash player