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What’s Goin’ On?

Name: Daniel
Gender: male
Age:
Location:
Hey I got a quick question for you.
Every time i have intercourse, a spot of skin on my penis, where my circumcision scar is, gets red and tender. it does not heal for a few days, and even when it looks like its gone, it comes back. It’s almost like that part of me is just missing layers of skin. My girlfriend and i use plenty of lube. Do you know anything i could do/ put on it to make the skin heal, or strengthen? I’m too embarrassed to make a doctor’s appointment,penile_candidiasis.jpg because my aunt is the receptionist.
Thanks, Daniel

The raw spots and/or rashes you have on your dick could be attributed to any number of things. It could be an allergic reaction to a condom, lube or even the laundry detergent you use to clean your undies. You do wear kickers, don’t you? If you’re all like commando style, then the wear and tear of that could effect your unit too.

It could be a yeast infection given to you by your partner who doesn’t know she has one herself. Penile candidiasis most often affects men with diabetes, uncircumcised men, or men whose female sex partners have vaginal candidiasis. Usually the infection produces a red, raw, sometimes painful rash on or near a guy’s dickhead, or sometimes on his balls.

psoriasis.jpgIt could also be psoriasis. Rubbing or friction, like through fucking, are likely to develop lesions, like the one you describe.

Since there are a several plausible explanations of what is causing this mysterious raw spot, I must encourage both you and your GF to get checked out by a physician ASAP. There’s no shame in this. If you don’t want to see your regular GP, maybe you guys should consider a free, or drop-in clinic near you.

To leave this undiagnosed and untreated because you’re embarrassed is just plain irresponsible.

Name: Dave
Gender: male
Age:
Location:
Does male nipple play excite all guys? Is there something wrong if it doesn’t? THANKS Dave

Nipples of either the male or female variety are potential erogenous zones. The operative word innipple_clamps.jpg that sentence is “potential”. Not everyone has yet awakened his/her nipples to the delicious positive sex charge they can (and do) have. Some folks don’t know about the connection between their nipples and their cock (or pussy for that matter), because they’ve not yet taken the time to put 2 and 2 together, don’t cha know.

What’s a person to do? Simple! Spend some time wakin’ up them babies. This is where full-body masturbation comes in handy. While you’re pullin your pud (or jillin’ off); move the building sexual energy from your groin to other parts of your body — nipples, feet, asshole, you name it.

If your nipples aren’t particularly sensitive to start with, you may need a bit more stimulation than merely lightly stroking ‘em. Some guys (and gals) find that the more erect their nips become, the more sensitive they are. No great mystery there, is suppose. To this end, some men (and women) employ some means of nipple enlargement. This might be done through clamps or suction. See Bully Nipple Clamps (C739), or a simple Snake Bite Kit (A300).

a300.jpgOnce you got some nice nipple erections goin’ try stroin’, squeezin’ lickin’, suckin’ or even nibblin’ and bitin’ ‘em. Be sure to pay attention to the whole chest (breast) area, not just the nips.

If you’re workin’ on yourself, you will be getting immediate feedback on how it’s goin’. If you’re workin’ on someone else, or someone else is workin’ your nips — start out nice and gentle like. Either you or your partner can ramp things up depending on the feedback you’re givin’ or gettin’.

I always think adding different sensations like heat (candle wax) or cold (ice cubes) is a way to make things more interesting. In other words, use your imagination. That’s why you have that block of whatever perched up on your shoulders.

Name: Kate
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: canada
Lately I’ve been noticing I am attracted to both males and females. So I don’t know if I am a lesbian or not? Is that normal?

Perhaps you are unclear on the concept. If you’re attracted to both women and men, you could hardly be a lesbian, right? I mean think it through, darlin’! A lesbian, by definition, is a woman who is ONLY sexually interested in other woman. Apparently, that rules you out…unless you are fooling yourself (and us) about being attracted to men.

You are more likely bisexual — a rather common phenomenon in them female folk, don’t cha know!kinsey_scale.jpg

All human sexuality is on a continuum. Probably it’s time to haul out my Handy Dandy Kinsey Scale for all of us to have a look-see.

Wait, are you familiar with the Kinsey Scale, right? The dean of American sex research, Alfred Kinsey, and his associates developed this 0 to 6 scale as a way of classifying a person’s sexuality in terms of both behavior and fantasy.

This is what they developed.
0- Exclusively heterosexual with no same-sex behavior or fantasy.
1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual — most likely in fantasy only.
2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual — fantasy for sure and possibly behavior too.
3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual in both behavior and fantasy.
4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual — fantasy for sure and possibly behavior too.
5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual — most likely in fantasy only.
6- Exclusively homosexual with no other-sex behavior or fantasy.

These pioneering sexologists also discovered that an individual could occupy a different position on this scale, at different periods in his/her life. It’s conceivable that one could go from Kinsey 0 to 6 in a lifetime, or just a afternoon at the Lilith Fair, if ya know what I’m gettin at. This seven-point scale comes close to showing the many gradations that actually exist in human sexual expression. Amazing, huh?

Name: Augustt
Gender: Male
Age: 52
Location: San Francisco
I have been clean from meth for just over 6 years but was a hard-core user (injecting) from 1995 until March of 2002. Since then I have no sex drive and low self-confidence since my usage brought me to having Tardive Dyskinesia. What can I do to bring back my sex drive?

Yep, seven years of slammin’ crystal will seriously fuck ya up, no doubt about it. I heartily commend you on gettin’ and stayin’ clean. CONGRATULATIONS! I know for certain that ain’t easy.

You are right to say that the residual effects of years of meth use can devastate a person’s sexual response cycle. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons people take as long as they do to rid themselves of this poison. While they are using, they are dulled to the effects meth is having on their sexual expression.

Before we go any further, we’d better define Tardive dyskinesia for our audience. It is a condition characterized by repetitive, involuntary, movements. It’s like having a tic, but much worse. It canmassage001.jpg include grimacing, rapid eye blinking, uncontrollable arm and leg movements, etc. In other words, people with this condition have difficulty staying still. These symptoms may also induce a pronounced psychological anxiety that can be worse than the jerky movements.

That being said, there is hope for you, Augustt. Regaining a sense of sexual-self post addiction is an arduous, but rewarding task. With your self-confidence in the toilet and zero libido, I suggest that you connect with others in recovery first. They will probably be a whole lot more sympathetic to your travail than non-addicts.

a16606_xlf.jpgTry connecting with people on a sensual level as opposed to a sexual level. I am a firm believer in massage and bodywork for this. If needs be, take a class or workshop in massage. Look for the Body Electric School Of Massage nearest you. They have load of training options. There are also good massage videos online. Check out Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

You will be impressed with the good you’ll be able to do for others as well as yourself. Therapeutic touch — and in my book that also includes sensual touch — soothes so much more than the jangled nerves ravaged by drug and alcohol abuse. It gives the one doing the touch a renewed sense of him/herself a pleasure giver. The person receiving the touch will begin to reawaken sensory perceptions once thought lost. And a libido can bloom again.

I encourage you to push beyond the isolation I know you are feeling. Purposeful touching, like massage and bodywork will also, in time help take the edge off your Tardive dyskinesia. I know this can happen. I’ve seen it happen. Augustt, now you make it happen!

Name: Shaon
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location:
I am a 20 year old male and recently on a forum I post on someone was talking about how they had to get a circumcision as an adult because they had a condition called Phimosis. Up until a couple of days ago I thought that everything was completely normal down there, I have been able to masturbate normally for as long as I’ve been doing it. I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the internet about the condition and I think I might have it but I’m not really sure and I can’t bring myself to go to a doctor about it. I don’t have any picture now but I can take some and I’m wondering if you would be able to tell me if I have Phimosis simlpy by looking at pictures. Thanks for your help.uncut2.jpg

So you’re reading around on the internet…that’s a good thing. What’s not so good is that your casual reading around has brought you to the conclusion that you have a medical condition called phimosis. Even though, up to this point, you believed everything in your nether regons was working perfectly fine.

That’s the problem with having just a little information. It tends to lead to more questions then answers.

You’re certainly welcome to send me photos of your unit, but I can’t promise that I’ll be able to tell you for sure if you have phimosis or not. If you do send photos, you will have to include some of your erection with your foreskin pulled back as far as it goes.

Let me ask, can you retract your skin over the top of your dickhead? Are you able to retract your foreskin while your dick is hard as well as soft? When you shower or bathe, do you clean out under your foreskin?

There are lots of ways to stretch your foreskin, so you shouldn’t have to worry about circumcision. May I suggest that you take your time and read around my site for all the posting and podcasts that I’ve done under the topic “foreskin”. And there’s more under the topic “Uncut“.

Good luck ya’ll

Vantage Point

Name: Shauna
Gender: Female
Age: 38
Location: Des Moines, IA
I work with this really terrific girl, who’s around 10 years younger than I am. Lately, even though I am happily married, I find myself awkwardly attracted to her. I am actually masturbating while fantasying about her. Like I said, I am married to a great guy and I don’t want to hurt him, but I have to get advice on this. I’m so confused.

Anytime there is a noticeable change in one’s eroticism, regardless at what stage of life it happens, the shift can be a bit disconcerting. Here you are, a mature, confirmed, died in the wool, card-carrying straight married lady who has an unanticipated crush on a much younger female coworker. That can’t be sitting very well in your buttoned down world there in the heartland, huh?backside1.jpg

I suppose you could view this as a major problem or you could accept this as a gift. That’s right, a gift. This surprising event, even at your seriously advanced age of 38, indicates to me that you’re still growing. Personally, I think that’s wonderful. The fates have gifted you with this sweet, young sexy female muse. You can either reject the fates and deny yourself, or embrace this opportunity to explore the yet uncharted areas of your sexuality.

Even if you never act on your same-sex sexual impulses, I think it’s safe to say you are finally encountering your latent bisexuality. Don’t be too surprised by that; most all of us are naturally bisexual in one fashion or another. Unfortunately, our sex-negative society discourages and disallows these very natural tendencies. So when they pop up, as often they do, we are usually unprepared to acknowledge them, let alone accept and welcome them. Will you cave to the pressures of the popular culture, or buck the social trend? I’m in no position to guess. All I know is that this relatively benign sexual adventure could be an opportunity to expand your fronside.jpgsexual options.

Like I said, there are several ways to proceed. You could deny yourself the adventure and sublimate your desires. I don’t recommend this, because it rarely works. Healthy, natural feelings like the ones you’re having, if denied, can fester and embitter the one practicing the self-denial. Another option is to go with the fantasy, enjoy it for what it is worth. Keeping your bisexual proclivities fantasy material allows you to remain safe and pretty much maintains the status quo. Then there’s the option of pursuing your fantasy and making it a reality. Obviously, this option carries the greatest potential for disrupting your life.

If you choose the path of keeping your same-sex urges a fantasy, you might want to pursue them far enough to see if you are attracted to other women. You could do this through reading some hot same or bi-themed erotica, or by checkin’ out some swell (authentic) Sapphic porn. If you discover you are not interested in other women, but that you only have a jones for your charming coworker of yours; it might mean you are a situational bisexual. Regardless if you are a “real” bisexual or a “situational” bisexual, imagine the fun you’ll have with your little secret. My only caution would be to treat your coworker the way you would treat any other coworker you might have a crush on — perhaps the best thing to do is; do nothing. Workplace flings, of any stripe, rarely turn out happily. And of course, you also have your marriage to consider. Fantasies are fine as long as they don’t fuck up your happy real-life relationships.

One other thing, don’t automatically assume your husband would be put off by your newly awakened sexual tastes. That is if you ever get around to telling him. It might actually be a big turn-on for him too. Most straight guys get off on the idea of two women together. Some husbands encourage their wives’ occasional bisexual encounters for this very reason. Your husband may even be interested in a threesome with you and another woman somewhere down the line.

In the end, this is an exciting time for you, Shauna. Is it challenging? You betcha! But it’s also very rewarding.

Name: Hector
Gender: male
Age: 17
Location: Tujunga, CA
I’m afraid my penis isn’t right. I worry because it doesn’t look like other guys. For one thing mine is a lot smaller. I’m afraid to have sex or show my penis. Is there any way for me to know for sure? I hope to hear from you because this is making me so nervous. Thank you.

I’d chill out, I were you, Hector. Lots of guys your age mistakenly think there is something wrong with their unit, when actually they’re quite normal. This heightened concern, as you suggest, can lead to anxiety or even a complex about one’s cock size and shape. Don’t let this happen to you!

You don’t really give me much to go on as to why you think your pinga isn’t like the other guys. That leads me to think you don’t really know all that much about your package in general. Do you? I mean, who are you comparing yourself to anyway?

Since I don’t have a lot of information to go on, I suppose we oughta start with some essentials. Here’s my penis primer — Your Cock; A Complete Owners Manual (abridged). That’s supposed to be funny, BTW.

We all know that there are big ones and little ones, fat ones and skinny ones. Some are bobbed; some are whole. Some curve and bend; some are straight as an arrow. Some have a mushroom cap; some sport more of a helmet look. Some grow; some show. And they come in a veritable rainbow of colors.

small_flaccid.jpgmedium_flaccid.jpgbig_flaccid.jpg

Despite the amazing diversity, there are lots of things that each of our members has in common with everyone else’s. The average length of a flaccid cock is 3.7 inches with a diameter of 1.25 inches. The average length of a hardon is 5.1 inches, with a diameter of 1.6 inches.

If you are over the age of 17, you pretty much have all the cock you’re gonna have. That’s not to say that as we age, and as our muscles slack, our pal won’t hang a bit differently than when we were a young buck. But there’s not gonna be significant change in length or girth after puberty is done with us. Keep in mind that all this cock-related stuff is determined by genetics and heredity, like your overall body type, the color of your eyes, your hair pattern, and your overall stature. So the likelihood that any guy will add even one permanent inch to his dick either in length or girth, without surgery, is about as likely as him adding even a single inch to his height.

The head of your dick is called the glans. (It’s the thing that can be shaped like a mushroom or a helmet.) It is made up of soft tissue called the corpus spongiosum. Just below the glans,penis_anatomy1.jpg on the underside of your cock is a waddle of skin called the frenulum. This puppy is chock-full of nerve endings that make it ground zero for dick-centered pleasure.

All uncut (uncircumcised) men have a prepuce, or foreskin that covers and protects his dickhead. Cut (circumcised) men don’t, because it has been surgically removed. If you are lucky enough to be intact, your foreskin is a highly specialized, sensitive, and functional organ of touch. No other part of the body serves the same purpose. Circumcision actually removes 50% of the skin of a guy’s dick.

You know the old adage, “Use it or lose it”? They may have had a schlong in mind when that maxim was coined. Researchers agree — erections are good for you. When you get a woody, your cock is engorged with oxygen-rich blood, which is essential for the upkeep of the smooth muscle tissue. This kind of tissue makes up about 90% of your cock. You can see how a peyronies.jpghealthy circulatory system is vital to a vibrant sex life. An oxygen-deprived cock will build up a kind of plaque, which resembles scar tissue. This will cripple your rod (Peyronie’s disease) or rob you of your wood altogether.

I also want to alert you of some startling new data coming out of recent research about masturbation. Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 men who had not, about their sexual habits. They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop prostate cancer.

The protective effect of cumin’ was greatest while the men were in their 20s. And get this; men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life. But let’s not get off topic too much.

The other big part of your package is the family jewels. We mind as well take a look at themballs02.jpg too while we’re at it. Your nuts (testis) and the sack (scrotum) they’re housed in are an evolutionary marvel. Your testicles are about 4 degrees (F) cooler than your core body temperature. Lucky for us, this is the ideal climate for healthy sperm production. 90% of the male hormone, testosterone, is manufactured in our balls. Evolution has even provided that one nut, generally the left, hangs slightly lower than the other. The lower nut will also be slightly larger. I suppose this keep them from knocking into each other so much.

Ok, so you think the outside of your junk is pretty impressive, well you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Here’s where things get really interesting. First, there is no “bone” in your boner. Don’t laugh! Humans are one of the few mammals (horses, donkeys, rhinoceros, marsupials, baculum.jpgrabbits, whales and dolphins, elephants and hyenas are the others) that don’t have a penis bone. Most males of our species have a unique bone called baculum in their penis. The baculum is designed for speed fucking. Sliding a bone in and out of a sheath is much faster than waiting for hydraulics to kick in. This enables our mammalian relatives to spend very little time actually mating. Which is, after all, a vulnerable position for them to be in.

If there’s no bone in there what make our dick hard? Good question. If you dissected yourpenis_anatomy3.JPG woody and looked at a cross-section you’d see three distinct spongy tubular structures, each are made up of smooth muscle tissue. Two of these tubular structures — one on either side of your cock, both of which run the length of your cock — are called the corpora cavernosa. These marvelous structures become engorged with blood lifting and thickening your cock to erection. The corpus spongiosum, the third tubular structure is located just below the corpora cavernosa. This baby houses your urethra, through which pee and jizz pass during urination and ejaculation, respectively. This may also become slightly engorged with blood, but less so than the corpora cavernosa.

male_reproductive1.jpgThere are several points of interest in and around your balls too. I already mentioned your urethra, which stretches from your bladder to the tip of your dick. Your prostate is an almond shaped gland that sits between your bladder and the root of your dick. Slightly in back of that is a pair of glands called the seminal vesicles. These tubular glands open into the vas deferens as it enters the prostate gland. They secrete the lion’s share of your spooge (ejaculate) about 70% to be precise. Most of us have two vas deferens tubes to correspond to the pair of balls (testicles) most of us have. These convey your mature sperm, the ones that have been comfortably relaxing in the epididymis, which is a tube filled mass at the back of each of your balls.

To conclude, the average male, between the ages of 15 and 60 will ejaculate 30 to 50 quarts of spunk (semen), containing 350 to 500 billion sperm cells. How amazing is that?

Good luck ya’ll

Guilty Pleasures

Name: Anonymous
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: Phoenix
Dear Dr. Dick, I’m a pretty good looking guy, with a pretty average penis size, with a pretty average ego and confidence level. I am unable to make a first move. Whenever the situation rises, I become nervous as a little girl and the only thing I can think of is the awkwardness of rejection. Its really starting to throw me off balance when I cant get the physical attention I need, you know? It’s starting to make me think I’m gay also, which is totally fucking with my head. Help me out dock, what’s going on?

Well, anonymous, the fact that you couldn’t even bring yourself to include your first name on this anonymous submission form, or even think up a plausible substitute marks you as a world-class wimp. And hey, here’s a tip, stop comparing your total lack of cojones to being a girl or being gay. You are neither — a girl don’t need no balls and gay men have ‘em. You, on the other hand, need to grow yourself a pair, pal

lonely.jpgSo you’re 22, a pretty good-looking guy (or so you report) with an average sized dick (although I don’t see what that has to do with anything), and yet you still are stumped on how to connect with a chick. Holy cow, did you miss junior high?

Is there anything about you that a woman might find interesting? Are you intelligent, witty, fun to be with, a good conversationalist, sensitive, kind, a good cook, romantic…are you rich? Listen chum, you’re gonna need more to recommend you than bein’ pretty good lookin’ and a modestly sized peanut.

“I can’t get the physical attention I need…” I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess you mean you can’t get laid, right? Maybe you oughta work on your presentation. I mean, what self-respecting woman is gonna want to put out for someone as desperatechicksruleboysmakegoodpets.jpg as you.

Start by getting off the pity-pot and learn to handle rejection. Don’t take it personal, rejection is just part of being a grownup. Also, jettison the notion that women are put on this earth simply to satisfy men’s physical needs. That’s so freakin’ Neanderthal.

Put your pride aside and start connecting with women as friends, not as potential fuck meat. , Sex flows from intimacy for most women. If you take the time to get to know a woman first, without that lean and hungry sex-starved look that I just know you have, you’ll find that, unless you are a totally dorky klutz, even you may get laid sooner or later.

Name: Carol
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Location: Montreal
I like oral sex, but my new BF doesn’t know what he’s doing down there. He’s really sweet and I like him a lot. Unfortunately, he thinks he’s like this really great lover when actually he sucks…and not in a good way. I know he reads your column, he was the one that turned me on to your site, so could you give him some pointers on how to orally pleasure a woman. He doesn’t listen to me.

Instead of me, who has no pussy, pontificating on the joys of muff diving, I turned to my #1 friend of the lesbitarian persuasion, Joy. Not only does she have her very own chuff, she sure as shootin’ knows her way around other gravy boats as well. I shared your message with her and asked for her advice. I figure, if you wanna learn how to do something right, ya talk to a pro. Simply put, no one sucks cock as good as a queer; no one gobbles clam like a dyke. Enough said!

Joy’s first comment was…and I quote. “What’s this chick doin’ with a dude? If she wants good head, she should bed a dyke. Once you go lezzie, you never go back.” Ahhh, Joy is such a…joy!v2212-a_30.jpg

Ok, so giving a chick some head is about the most perfect sexual thing you can do for a woman. It makes her feel special. What woman doesn’t groove on knowin’ her partner finds her finger-lickin’ good? And maybe that’s a real good place to start this tutorial. If you don’t like the taste or smell of pussy juice, give up on the idea that you’ll be a fabulous lover. However, if you want to give this whole muff diving thing a try, but you don’t know if you can handle your partner smell, or she’s unsure about you bein down there, because she thinks she might smell, you guys could start off by showering or bathing together.

Many women prefer oral to intercourse, because it has the potential to give her an exceptional orgasm. And for all those gals out there who need loads of direct clitoral work to get off, mouth to clit stimulation is one of the easiest, most enjoyable ways to get make that happen.

Joy says that the biggest mistake a guy can make with a pussy is divin’ in without knowing his way around. And like I always say, ladies, it is absolutely up to you to introduce your partner to your particular beaver. Remember, just because he may have been with other women, that don’t make him an expert on your parts. Get it? Got it? GOOD!

The novice cunt lapper will do well to approach this amazing piece of human anatomy very gently…at first. If the woman you’re eatin’ wants it more vigorous, she will ask for it. So relax and enjoy! If all this licking and sucking isn’t a turn on for you, it won’t be much of a pleasure for her, either. So, if you’re heart is not in it; I say don’t even bother.

Don’t make the mistake that Carol’s boyfriend makes. Listen to the feedback you’re gettin on the job you’re doin’. If you’re not gettin’ feedback, ask for it. Just don’t talk with your mouth full. Once you hit on something that works with the gal you’re with, stick with it for a while. Unless of course you’re trying to drive her wild with some tongue teasing.

Joy insists that a soft tongue and a relaxed jaw works best. And believe me, she knows of what she speaks. She always starts out licking her pal from vaginal entrance up to her 519l051.jpgclit. She follows the outer edges of her pal’s pussy along both sides —slowly at first, then more rapidly. Sometimes she’ll even throw in a little raspberries — you know, the mouth vibration you make when you force breath through lightly closed lips. Joy swears by this technique, don’t cha know! Sounds like so much fun I kinda wish I had me a cooch.

Don’t be caught with idle hands while you’re eating=out-at-the-Y. Gently press her two outer vaginal lips together then run your tongue between the inner and outer labia one side at a time. Try poking your tongue into her vagina. The majority of nerve endings in a typical woman’s vagina are around the opening and within the first couple of inches inside. Target them with a darting tongue motion. Insert a hardened tongue into her hole. Try moving your tongue in and out, as well as in circles around the inside of her opening.

Spread her outer vaginal lips with your fingers. With your tongue pointed, gently flick your tongue around her clit. Feel free to roam around in there, but keep coming back to her clit, because it’s the most sensitive area…just like your dick head, you dickhead!

Some women find the direct approach too intense. If this is the case with your woman, blow a stream of warm breath over and around the clit. This lighter breathy touch might just do the trick. Again, be sure to ask for feedback and then do precisely what she says.

Once your partner is good and hot and juicy wet, Joy suggests you kick things up a notch. Spread her lips, expose her clit and give it a quick little suck. If this hits the spot, you might want to lightly pull back her clitoral hood and repeat the quick sucking motion. Joy assures me that this feels incredible, and it’s just the thing to do if you feelcsmhc5037.jpg like tormenting your partner. Now take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This, combined with fingering her vag, will usually produce an intense orgasm.

Keep your tongue and hands busy flicking and massaging, poking and prodding lapping and kneading. In other words, find out what she likes and how she likes it and let her have it just that way.

Finally, Joy suggests you surprise the little woman by having a mint or an ice chip in your mouth while you go down on her. These can create a very intense tingling sensation and will enhance your performance immeasurably.

Name: Jake
Gender: male
Age: 23
Location: Omaha
I’m 23, and I’ve been dating a 30-year-old chick for nearly a year now. I come from a very conservative Christian upbringing and I love that she is more experienced than me. My girlfriend likes to tie me up. I’m a college gymnast so I have very defined muscles. They are a huge turn on for my girlfriend, which I guess explains why she likes to see me struggle against the rope. I get real turned on too when I’m tied up. Sometimes she teases my penis and testicles with a feather or a piece of leather, which drives me wild. I’m worried though, because I think this is gonna warp me somehow. Do you think this is perverted? Why is it so much fun?

Ahhh yeah Jake, I do think it’s perverted. I think your girlfriend is a big fat pervert and I think you’re still a little tiny pervert, but well on your way to being a big fat pervert, just like your girlfriend.

And why is this bondage thing so much fun? It’s such a blast because it’s perverted,bondage003.jpg nasty and forbidden, silly! One can only guess what your fundamentalist Christian mom and dad would think about their star athlete son trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey while a considerably older dominatrix punishes his family jewels. I fear this apple has fallen a great distance from the tree, right Jake? I absolutely love it!

Bondage is fun for you because you have to relinquish all your male privilege — Christian, preppy frat boy control — to this unlikely kinky lady friend of yours. And what’s even better, you let her have her way with you. I have a feeling you’re not telling us everything about what she does to you when you’re all tied up. I’d be willing to guess there is a lot more perversion here than meets the eye. Not that that’s a bad thing, necessarily. I think it can be very therapeutic as well as amazingly hot to be completely helpless and in the control of another.

For a dominatrix, like your girlfriend, there is, as you say, the visual aspect to bondage. I think she’d agree, there’s nothing sexier then young masculine, muscular male flesh wrapped in ropes while having his cock and balls available for discipline. It’s the ultimate form of objectification. And, I might add, that you guys are turning all of balls_blue1963.jpgsociety’s conventions — particularly the sacred “male as top” rule — on their head. YOU GO!

This has got to turn your crank, on some base psychological level too. I would so love to know how you and your girlfriend met. How she introduced you to the perv lifestyle. And more importantly, how you came to submit so unequivocally. That’s the real story here.

Jake, you are on the cutting edge. And I think you have some sense as to how radical your play really is, don’t you?  I think it’s the radical nature of your play that gives you pause, right? It’s not the actual bondage, discipline and possible humiliation that concerns you as much as you feel like you are losing your moral moorings. Nothing about what you are currently experiencing at the hand of this woman has any connection to the life you were brought up in. That has to be a bit of a jolt, which makes it all the more enticing. And there is virtually no turning back, is there? Once you’ve tasted the sweetness of surrender, vanilla will never again be enough.

Trust me, none of this makes you a bad person. On the contrary, if you embrace andbondage004.jpg integrate all this new information about yourself and live your life with authenticity and integrity, it will make you exemplary.

I do have one fear, however. I fear that one-day you will begin to second guess this harmless submissive eroticism and cave to the dictates of the popular culture. The worst case scenario would be for you to continue to enjoy your BDSM lifestyle on Saturday nights, then rush off to church on Sunday morning to join the choir of sanctimonious hypocrites who do one thing in private, but publicly endorse and promote a sex-negative message of repression and denial. That, my friend, would be criminal…and a real perversion.

Good luck ya’ll

The Next Big Thing

Name: Ned
Gender: male
Age: 38
Location: Richmond VA
I have recently been exploring my bi side and experimenting with other men. I’m perfectly comfortable with my sexuality: I’m attracted to both women and men, but I’m predominantly attracted to women. I hate having to hide my bisexuality. I’d like to come out as bi, but I fear that most bi men are considered gay by default. Aren’t most women freaked out when they learn a guy is bi? So what do you think? Is there any hope for being out and BISEXUAL-not-gay? How can I meet women who aren’t bi-phobic?

Hold on there big fella, are you really trying to convince me that you’re “perfectly comfortable” with your sexuality? Because if you are, you’ve a long way to go, darlin’. I ain’t buyin’ that no how. Like I always say; if you have to go out of your way to tell someone that your are perfectly comfortable, you’re probably not.

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I think you think you are “perfectly comfortable” with your sexuality, but frankly you’re fooling only yourself. Your vocabulary gives you away. You may be experimenting with other men; and don’t get me wrong, I think that’s a good thing. But bumping the occasional dude, without letting that exercise impact on your internalized homophobia, don’t make you bi.

Want to meet woman who aren’t bi-phobic? Then look to bisexual woman.

I’m forever hearing from bi guys, like you, Ned, who moan and groan about not being taken seriously by gay men or straight women. It never seems to occur to these “bi” guys that they can avoid all clueless gay men and straight women by simply dating bi women and men exclusively. What kind of statement does it make about the general desirability of bisexuals when so many bisexuals can’t conceive of dating other bisexuals?
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Did you know that there’s research on the sexual arousal patterns among men — gay, bi and straight? You might be interested to know that the researchers couldn’t find a specific, identifiable “male bisexual arousal pattern.” Most of the men who self-identified as bisexual had arousal patterns exactly like that of gay men. 75 percent of the bi guys only got aroused watching male on male sex; the other 25 percent of the bi guys only got aroused watching girl on girl sex. No one responded equally to images of men and women.

So what does that tell us, if anything?

I think we all know that some ostensibly gay men claim to be bisexual for a time while they acclimatize themselves to their true queer identity. But why was the sexual arousal research not turning up a distinctive male bisexual arousal pattern? I conclude, given my own clinical experience, that real male bisexuality is far more rare than female bisexuality.

I think there are a lot of guys out there having bisexual experiences — probably more now than ever, which like I said earlier is a good thing. But one’s sexual orientation is not the same thing as one’s sexual capacity.

A lot of guys like you, Ned, are predominantly straight guys who, on occasion, play with otherbisex_toon.jpg guys. But that don’t make you, or them, bi. Authentic bisexual men are emotionally available to other men as well as women. You, Ned, are capable of having sex with other guys, but you’re only emotionally available for nesting with women. Most gay guys have already figured this out about most so called bi men. They discriminate against most “bi men”, because there’s little to no chance of having a full-fledged relationship with these guys.

And straight women discriminate against most so called bi men, because they’ve learned to mistrust the so called “bi male” identity. They know that the frequency with which these “bi males” turn into gay males is staggering.

So in the end, Ned, you might want to reconsider your self-identification. Why not just say you’re an ostensibly straight guy that likes, on occasion, to mess around with other dudes. It appears that would solve all your problems as well as your conflicts with gay men and straight women.

Name: Doreen
Gender: female
Age: 30
Location: Memphis
I think I have a spanking fetish. I say I think I do, because I never tried it. But I want to. I think my partner would be up for it, but I have yet to ask her. I thought I’d ask you first. What are your thoughts about spanking?

If you’ve been a bad girl, Doreen, then I think you definitely need a spanking. Have you been naughty, Doreen? Precisely how naughty have you been, Doreen? Everyone here at Dr Dick’s wants to know!

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Spanking is a very popular fetish, one that can be enjoyed with or without sex. At the same time, spanking can be risky if you entrust the task to someone who doesn’t know what she or he is doing. Of course, it’s not particularly difficult to learn the basics. So just for you, wayward Doreen, I’m gonna offer a brief sexual enrichment tutorial on erotic spanking. YEAH!

Most spankers start with a hand or a paddle of some sort. Spanking is different from whipping and flogging, which are much more advanced techniques than your garden-variety spanking. We’ll leave these techniques for another time.

There are two musts in this kind of power play: 1) The spanker must always inquire about the health of the spankee before the play begins. 2) Both participants must always agree on a safeword before the play begins. A safeword is a codeword that the spankee will use as she is reaching a physical, emotional or moral boundary, or for when she wants the spanker to stop the play.

The safeword will be a word that the spankee would not ordinarily use during the play, like “pickles.” This extraordinary word allows the spankee to scream “no, stop”, “please, don’t” etc. as much as she/he wants without it stopping the play.

If you actually get around to enticing your partner to join you for a little spanking entertainment, make sure the first adventure is fun for all. I suggest that the spanking be part of a role-play scenario that you and your GF develop together. Your partner may need lots of positive reinforcement, particularly if she reluctant to join you in your kink. Keep telling her how much fun you’ll both have in the role-play. For example, you could be the naughty schoolgirl and your partner could be the stern teacher. Really get into your roles; you’ll both need to dress the part, of course. You — sexy short pleated Catholic schoolgirl skirt, anklets and trashy high-heels. She — the domineering dyke teacher in a drab, no-nonsense grey suit and sensible shoes. Get the picture?chick_spank2.jpg

The teacher calls you into her office for a corrective interview. She needs to teach you a lesson. She puts you over her knee. She’ll do lots of bottom rubbing first, while she’s lecturing you on your bad behavior. As she gets into it, you know she’ll be getting turned on too. “It will be a shame to spank this beautiful bottom of yours,” she’ll coo. “This is going to hurt me as much as it hurts you!”…sort of deal. She’ll finger your pretty panties, but won’t remove them. She’ll start spanking very gently at first. Light taps on the fleshy part of your ass cheeks. If you want more, start wiggling into the spanking. Remember to stay in character. “No, Miss. Diesel, that hurts, please don’t touch me there! Grind into her lap. Your body language will communicate your desire for her to continue and possibly intensify the spanking.

To insure the comfort of your partner, set some ground rules for your first play session. Don’t’ do bare-bottom spanking until she indicates her willingness to go there. If your partner is a feminist dyke, this whole spanking thing may go against the grain for her. Remind her this is fantasy role playing; not real life.

The more you get into your roles, the more likely she’ll get into her roles — Catholic schoolgirl/Sr. Mary Holywater, slutty patient/naughty nurse — you get the idea. The more you please her, the better she’ll please you.

Be sure to reward your partner for her participation. After the first session take her to dinner. Ask her for her for her reactions. What could you have done to make the scenario more pleasurable for her? Talk about your reactions. Tell her how much you appreciated her participation. Talk about the scenario and how well she did. Tell her what you liked most about the spanking itself. If you sense that she’s content with events thus far, you could plan for more.

Set aside a couple of role play evenings in the coming weeks. If she continues to be open and receptive, you can add more and more spanking, different implements, a ruler, a hairbrush, a paddle. If you want spankings on other parts of your body, tits, pussy and the like introduce those slowly. The intensity of the spanking needs to be adjusted to more sensitive parts of the anatomy. Make sure there’s lots of feedback happening before and after each play session.

Spanking is a full-fledged fetish with loads of spanking associated erotica. It goes from mild to wild. Do some exploring together your GF. Check out some magazines or videos. You’d probably do well to stick to the girl-on-girl stuff at first. Some, if not all, of the boy-on-girl stuff may be offensive to your partner’s lesbiterian sensibilities. Remember to also attend to your partner’s fantasies and the things that turn her on too.

Like I said at the beginning, spanking is a stand-alone fetish, it may be a part of full-on sex, or it may be just a bonding thing between you two naughty bitches.

In the end, introducing your partner to your kink is one of those — “Give To Get” things. Be attentive to her, make sure she knows she’s the most special person in your life. The more satisfied she is; the more she’ll be open to pleasing you.

Name: Roy
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Germany
sir, I’m started masturbating for 11yrs, Sometimes I’ll masturbate twice a day I cant stop this habit. Will it ill affect me in future?

Well Roy, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Even beatin’ off twice a day will not harm you . On the contrary, researchers are now saying that regular masturbation may ward off prostate cancer. They tell us that cancer-causing chemicals build up in the prostate, and if men do not ejaculate regularly the build-up can cause problems.masturbate.jpg

Don’t you just love this? I mean, how does one write a grant for government funding to study the positive effects of self-abuse?

Curiously, researchers also note that sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men’s cancer risk.

Say, I wonder if all of those “Abstinence only” programs out there encourage masturbation? Doubt it.

Anyhow, Australian researchers studied over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 men who had not.  They asked about their sexual habits. They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop prostate cancer.

The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s.  Get this, men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

jerkoff001.jpgPreviously the scientific wisdom suggested that a high level of sexual activity and a high number of sexual partners actually increased a man’s risk of developing prostate cancer. But earlier studies missed the beneficial effects of squeezing one out on one’s own, because they focused on sexual intercourse, with its associated risk of STIs (sexually transmitted infections).

Say, I wonder if anyone is doing similar research on the positive effects of masturbation for women? If I had to guess, I’d say that, if jackin’ off is good for men, then it stands to reason that jillin’ off is equally good for women.

Researchers tell us that ejaculating prevents the buildup of carcinogens in the prostate gland. It’s the “prostatic stagnation hypothesis.” How fun is that? You certainly don’t want a stagnant prostate now, do ya? I know I don’t. The more you flush out your ducts, the fewer carcinogens there will be to hang around and damage the cells that line your ducts.”

This is not a terribly new concept. A similar connection has been found between breast cancer and breastfeeding. Lactating flushes out carcinogens, thus reducing a woman’s risk of breast cancer.

Everyone here are Dr Dick’s Sex Advice believes that masturbation should be a big part of everyone’s sexual repertoire. And we always practice what we preach! We wholehearted encourage everybody to join us and masturbate till your heart’s content.

Good luck ya’ll

Anything Goes…

Name: Denise
Gender: Female
Age: 35
Location: Colorado
My husband and I have two beautiful sons, 11 and 13. We are a naturist family. Our children have grown up in this way of life and they have a healthy appreciation for the human body and are comfortable with nudity. Recently, both our sons said they did not want to join my husband and I at our yearly naturist retreat. We are honoring their wishes, but we are disappointed by their decision. Any thoughts on were we may have gone wrong?

Let’s give our readership a little background first, shall we Denise? For the uninformed, nudists or naturists practice social nudity. While nudity is an obvious aspect of nudism, it is just part of a much larger lifestyle and life philosophy.

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The nudist/naturist lifestyle promotes a wholesome appreciation of the human body, mind, and spirit. They believe that this wholesomeness comes easiest to those who shed the psychological and social encumbrance of clothing.

Naturists also promote health through complete contact of the whole body with the natural elements. Nudism is practiced, as much as possible, in environments free of the pollution and the stress of modern living. It also involves a holistic approach to nutrition, physical activity, mental health, and social interaction.

As Denise suggests, nudism fosters family participation. Children in naturist families learn to appreciate the human body as part of their natural environment. They often grow up with healthier attitudes toward the physical body and do so with much less fear or shame their non-naturist peers.

naturism2.jpgNow on to your concern, Denise. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. On the contrary, I think you are navigating this seeming change of heart by your kids very well. You’ve decided, and rightly so, to honor their wishes to not participate in the whole naturists thing for the time being.

Your boys are going through puberty and that alone is enough to set their whole world on its head. They may also be facing intense peer pressure from their non-naturist mates. Societal pressures to fit in and conform, even to unhealthy cultural dictates about “proper” behavior and injurious hyper body consciousness is particularly demanding during the early teenage years. Somehow the desire to be popular distorts a kid’s perception and can screw up his/her self-esteem.

Ideally, your son’s nudist upbringing would give them the ability to look past these superficial elements, and maybe they will in time. Right now, they need to feel they have more of a control over some of the externals of their life. And it is easy enough for you and your husband to grant them this. I would hasten to add that you and the hubby ought not sink to the lowest common denominator. I encourage you to continue to live your lifestyle as before. Your kids need to know that if they want their wishes respected, they’ll need to respect yours.

With a little luck, the body acceptance, self-respect and confidence you’ve instilled in your sons will once again kick in once their hormones simmer down. Just know that the anxiety you and your husband are experiencing is simply part and parcel of being parents to teens…nudist or non.

Name: Ed Clarke
Gender:
Age: 52
Location: Chicago
Dr. Dick, Please settle a bet. I say that a man with an 8 inch dick has more nerve endings than one who has only 5 inches of meat, and that means he gets more sexualsailor04.jpg stimulation of his joystick and greater pleasure. What do you say, Doc?

Ahhh, a betting man, are ya Ed? Ok, simply put, an 8-inch dick has indeed more skin than a 5-incher, but not more nerve endings. Just like a guy with a long neck has more skin than a guy with a short neck, but both guys have the same number of neck bones.

The nerve endings in a relatively short dick are more concentrated than those in a longer dick, but they function just the same. If you need further proof, consider a woman’s clit. It’s tiny compared to an 8-inch boner, but it packs more wallop per square centimeter than that big boy.

I also hesitate to endorse any notion that a bigger dick enjoys more sexual stimulation than a smaller dick. Skillful stimulation has less to do with size than it does with technique. And the notion that a bigger dick may somehow be the source of more pleasure than one that’s not so big…is also a myth. Once again, I refer you to that marvelous creation — the clit.

So I guess it’s time to pay up, huh Mr. Clarke?

Name: Katrina
Gender:
Age: 26
Location: Dallas
Dear Dr Dick: I am a 26 year old woman and want to trim my bush but am scared to go to the waxing salon. Is the salon safe? Do you have any recommendations for how I could go about this myself? Are there home kits?

Have you considered using the old weed-whacker, darlin’? Oh wait, not that kind of bush trimming, huh?ladypruning.jpg

OK, let’s see, are salons safe? I suppose if you entrusted your precious bush to a licensed establishment you’d be fine.

Any recommendations for how you could go about doing this yourself? I haven’t talked to too many women about this, but most of the men I know who manscape their pubes do so with a disposable razor while in the shower. Some submit to waxing, but most say it hurts way too much. Men are such PUSSIES!

Waxing has been around for centuries. People used to rid themselves of their pubic hair to cut down on infestations of lice and other unwanted vermin. Nowadays waxing and shaving are merely cosmetic in nature. I’m personally a big fan of the natural look, but to each his own, right?

wax_job.jpgWaxing can be done at home, and yes, there are kits available. I don’t know too much about these kits, so I can’t advise you further. What I can offer you is the basics — hot wax is applied to the hair infested areas of the skin, and a strip of cloth or paper is pressed into the wax. The strip is then quickly pulled away, taking the hair with it. OUCH! What price beauty???

This method is fast and relatively inexpensive…at least as one compares it to a salon job. But for the novice at-home waxer, this can also become very messy and if the done improperly the hair can break off below the surface of the skin and cause unsightly red bumps that look like prickly heat. This can also lead to an infection. And that’s never a good thing.

At-home kits can cost from $25-$75. Professional wax jobs can run from $50-$200 depending on the area treated.

Name: Marti
Gender: female
Age: 27
Location: Seattle
Is there such a thing as an asexual? The reason I ask is that I think I am one. I’m happy and well adjusted, but sex does nothing for me. I can’t orgasm. My genitals are icky. My marriage seems fine. I love my husband; we share the same values. And even if there’s nothing in it for me, I’m apparently pretty good at fellatio. We don’t do intercourse. Is this normal for some people? Are some people simply not wired to be sexual? I have no problems with love. I’m passionate about my husband and my friends, but it’s more of a cerebral thing.

Yeah, Marti, I do believe there is such a thing as an asexual. But I don’t think you’re one. Ya know why I say that? It’s because an asexual has an indifference toward sex. You, dear lady, exhibit disgust toward sex and things sexual…including your very own pussy. And that tells me you have an aversion to sex, which is completely different from what an asexual feels about sex.sexy-couple.jpg

I’d also have to challenge you on your statement that you are happy and well adjusted. I just don’t buy it, darlin’! And here’s a tip, if you have to go out of your way to tell someone you are happy and well adjusted, you’re probably neither.

In my estimation, a young married, albeit preorgasmic, woman who denies her hubby the old in and out, but begrudgingly blows him when absolutely necessary is NOT happy or well adjusted. SORRY! Since you have never known the joys of sex, you can hardly dismiss them as unimportant.

If we had access to your long-suffering husband I think he would tell a different tale than you, Miss Marti. I’ll betcha he’s withering on the vine for lack of nookie — the odd semi-obligatory blowjob he gets doled out to him on occasion not withstanding.

Listen darling, you got issues…big fuckin issues that need to be addressed ASAP. Don’t go trying to cover your shit with a happy face like asexuality. You’ll give all those real sexual ascetics a bad name if ya do.

female_masturbate.jpgBegin by resolving your anorgasmia, or as other call it preorgasmia. Because that, my dear, is the root of your sexual aversion. Work with a qualified sex-positive therapist. Learn to masturbate in a way that will bring you sexual satisfaction. Once you and your trusty vibrator slams yourself your first screamin’ meme of an orgasm, I believe you will change your tune about the rest of sex and your much maligned pussy too.

We can only hope that your deprived spousal unit will stick around during this remedial period. But you’re gonna have to level with him. Tell him you’ve finally accepted the fact that you have a problem that you need to get to the bottom of it, so to speak. With his help and support and that of your therapist, you’ll find your way to real happiness and being an authentically well-adjusted person, not just someone who says she is.

Anything short of this kind of honesty will continue to rob your husband of the full-fledged sex life he ought to be enjoying with you his wife. If ya don’t you can be sure ‘ole hubby will find his satisfaction in a more welcoming pussy than yours…if he hasn’t already.

Good luck ya’ll

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