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Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you

In lieu of Product Review Friday, we have some interesting Q&A about sex toys.

Name: Tadd
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Location: Arizona
In one of your podcasts you told some guy about a strap on kit he could buy for his GF. Could you repeat that? I’ve been trying to find one.

I responded to an inquiry from Karol from Poland a while back. He asked about a strap-on kit. I told him: “As to your question about a strap-on and what a guy should know about buying one for his female partner. I suspect the overriding concern for the amateur butt pirate is to get his gal a comfortable harness that can accommodate a couple different sized dildos. I suggested that he turn his attention to the Dr Dick’s Stockroom banner in the sidebar. I told him to click through there and search for the Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit (B664).  The good people at Dr Dick’s Stockroom have painstakingly put together everything you need for your first pegging!”

  • Is there someone in your life who is curious about strapping it on, but doesn’t know quite where to begin? Well, we have the perfect starter kit! Everything a beginning sensuous player would need to strap it on is included in this package (except their favorite water-soluble lubricant – sold separately).
  • This strap-on harness is low-riding with a fuzzy, deep purple velvet front and highly adjustable nylon straps. The kit has 2 color coordinated, shimmery purple dildos. These hypoallergenic silicone dildos are shaped and sized appropriately for those just beginning anal play adventures. The smaller is approximately 4″ long and 3⁄4″ wide, while the larger one is 5″ long and 11⁄4″ wide.
  • A powerful variable-speed mini-vibe sits in a secret pocket behind the dildo to give the wearer an extra jolt of fun. The straps are adjustable, fitting up to 50″ hips. The 1.5″ O-ring can be exchanged for play with other sized dildos (sold separately). Washable, smart, and sexy. Bottom line – this is one hot strap-on package!

Name: Gary
Age: 58
Location: Tampa
I’m a widower; my wife of 29 years died a little over a year ago. I’m just now getting back into the swing of thing. The sex I had with my wife was very conventional now I want to try something different. I want to go to a dominatrix. I’ve always had a fantasy about a woman owning and punishing my privates. It’s a big turn on. Is there anything I should know about this?

I love it, another kinkster in the making. Coming out as a perv, in my opinion, is better done late than never. My first suggestion is that you find a better term for your privates than “privates”. You sound like your mommy. I suggest cock and balls, it pretty much says it all very succinctly.

Have you done your homework in terms of finding the right dominatrix? I suppose you have at least a couple in mind, right? Might I suggest that when you make contact with one or another of these professional women that you be very specific about what you want and how you want it. You can ask for some hot CBT (cock and ball torture). Ya see, knowing the right vocabulary will often expedite your getting precisely what you are looking for.

Here’s a tip…a good submissive, or sub — that’s you, Gary, will want to bring his dominatrix, or dom a little gift to start things off on the right foot. May I suggest this little number: A Male Chastity Kit (B702). Look for it in the Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

  • The CB-3000 represents the latest design in modern male chastity devices from the same designers who invented the best-selling CB-2000 and The Curve. Some customers wanted a size mid-way between the CB-2000 and The Curve. The manufacturers listened to our customers’ requests and have allowed us to bring you this exciting new male chastity device.
  • The natural flow of lines in this model represents the cock and conforms to the body. The slim, smooth lines permit the CB-3000 to be worn easily under clothing. It is slightly vented with curving lines and custom openings for comfort and hygiene. The material, a highly durable transparent polycarbonate, is functional and appealing, and its strength exceeds that of acrylic and many other plastic blends.
  • Some men find it possible to use the urinals while wearing the CB-3000, though most find it more practical to sit. When locked with a plastic lock, the device will not set off metal detectors in airports or at other security checkpoints. So it is possible to wear the device 24/7 without interfering with travel or business routines. (Just make sure to use the plastic lock and not the brass lock under these circumstances.) This compact design involves no uncomfortable belts, straps or chains.
  • The CB-3000 consists of two main parts, the cage portion (inside length 3″ – inside diameter 1 3/8″) and the cuff ring. They easily slide together by means of two guide pins and a locking pin. The guide pins extend from the cage portion. Different-sized spacing rings are provided to allow a personalized fit.
  • The five rings included in the kit have inside diameters of 1_”, 1 5/8″, 1_”, 1 7/8″, and 2″. Once you find the right spacing, simply use a pair of side cutter pliers to snip the ends of the guide pins and then smooth the edges with an emery board or file. The locking pin is slightly recessed into the body cuff.
  • The Body Cuff comes in five different sizes, and swivels open at the bottom so that it can be closed easily around the cock and balls. Align the locking pin holes with the locking pins on the main part of the cage, add the proper amount of spacers, and then install the cage portion. The balls will then be trapped between the cuff and the cage. The smooth, rounded design minimizes pinching and chafing while being worn.
  • Finding the right-sized Body Cuff is extremely important for reasons of comfort and security. It should be as tight as possible without cutting off any circulation. If you are wearing a cuff that is too tight, it will cause some swelling and discoloration of the ball sac. If you see any discoloration, or experience numbness or aching discomfort, you definitely need to go to the next larger size. If you have a particularly high (short/tight) ball sac, you may find that you will need to stretch the ball sac slightly before the CB-3000 becomes comfortable and suitable for longer-term wear. For the most comfortable fit, the balls should hang below the cage and cuff ring. to prevent pinching.
  • I highly recommend applying baby oil/gel (or a similar product) to your cock with a cotton swab after showering. This practice allows your willie to move naturally up and down in the cage portion. Then you should be able to wear it 24/7 for indefinite periods of time. Some people have kept it on for months.
  • The CB-3000 kit includes the following: One brass padlock with 2 keys, 5 individually numbered, tamper-proof plastic locks, 3 different lengths of locking pins and 5 differently-sized spacers.

Good luck

Eye Candy in Black and White

Marvelous video chock full of erotic imagery. Just the thing to chase the blues away.

 

More Sex Wisdom with Mikaya Heart — Podcast #298 — 09/14/11

Hey sex fans, welcome back!

So glad you’re back for another big dose of SEX WISDOM with my amazing guest Mikaya Heart. As you recall from last week’s show, Mikaya is the author of The Ultimate Guide To Orgasm For Women; How to Become Orgasmic For A Lifetime.

You’ll also remember that in introducing last week’s show I said that Mikaya’s book is by far the best book about women’s sexuality that I have read in the past decade, if not longer. And apparently ya’ll agree, at least those of you who contacted me with your comments. Mikaya is so passionate and compassionate about women’s sexuality that if her name weren’t already Heart, the consensus is, we’d have to rechristen her that.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #297 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Mikaya and I discuss:

  • The necessity of talking about sex;
  • The power of fantasy in sex;
  • The problem with disengaging our rational brain in sex;
  • The spiritual dimension of orgasm;
  • The shamanic sensibility of sex;
  • Different kinds of orgasms;
  • Sex as a metaphor for life;
  • Sex and aging;
  • The disappearing orgasm;
  • The role of relationships;
  • Love and sex.

Mikaya invites you to visit her on her site HERE! And look for her on Facebook HERE!

(Click on the book cover below for more information and to buy Mikaya’s book)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Hot Plus Size Lingerie.
Plus Size Lingerie

Give To Get

Name: Suzanne
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Auckland
I often fake an orgasm to keep my partner happy. Actually, I fake it every time. Do you think there’s a problem with that? I mean, I’d love for him to get me off but he’s pretty clueless about the whole sex thing. Besides the dreadful sex, he is a sweet guy.

Brilliant idea, Susanne! Rather than help your ineffectual lover overcome his inadequacy by telling him the truth and then offering him a little tutorial on how to make you cum — go ahead and lie to monkey about his sexual prowess. What could possibly be wrong with that?

I see absolutely nothing wrong with what you’re doin’…except maybe that when you’re done fuckin’ him, or he’s done fuckin’ you, the next unlucky chick he happens upon will have twice the work cut out for her. Not only will she have to tell him the truth — that he sucks as a lover (and not in a good way) — but she’ll also have to contend with his ego. Thanks to you and your deception, he’ll be totally convinced that he’s a fabulous lover when, of course, he’s not.

Here’s the thing, I keep hearing from women who tell me the same sad story that you are telling me, Suzanne. They’ve saddled themselves with some clueless chump and rather than take him aside for a little show and tell, they just go with the follow, or lack there of. And then one fine day, when they finally get fed up with the whole fuckin’ mess, they write to me for advice.

And my advice is always the same. Ladies; if you imagine that whatever dude you welcome to your bed will somehow magically and innately know the finer points of pleasing you without your input, you’re living in a dream world. Us men folk generally know nothing about women’s sexuality besides what we learned from previous partners and from the porn we watch. And for the most part, that is precious little.  And since a lot of your sisters are dumping their inadequate lovers back on the market without so much as a warning to other women to keep clear of the Neanderthal, the whole sorry disappointing cycle keeps repeating itself.

Ladies; do yourself, your lovers and all human kind a favor by taking responsibility for your own pleasure. By doing so you will necessarily have to inform the men you fuck on the specific dos and don’ts of doin’ you. This task will not only reward you with greater pleasure and satisfaction, but it will improve the lot of all your sisters. Because if/when you’re ever done with the guy he will be the richer for the experience of having known, I mean really known, something of your particular sexual response. And the next woman to have him will have less a chore in showing him around her particular pussy.

Good Luck

Dude dilemmas…

Name: Mike P
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: LA
My girlfriend needs to watch lesbian porn to get off and sometimes kicks me out of the bedroom to masturbate by herself. Initially I was turned on by her desire to watch porn — but now — it’s become a blockage. She always needs porn. I am frustrated and to make things worse — she has started abusing me through financial manipulation. She makes me pay her rent — pay for her food, pay for everything — and she never gives me nookie.
Should I leave this woman?

Time to wake up, fella! Your “girlfriend” — and you’ll notice I put that term in quotes — is decidedly not YOUR girlfriend, and possibly not any dude’s girlfriend.

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say; I think your “girlfriend” is a certifiable, died-in-the wool, muff-divin’, coozie-lovin’ lesbitarian. All that’s really left for her to do to make the picture perfectly clear…even for you, is to show up one day in a mullet and a plaid flannel shirt. Holy cow, Mike, how is it that you are missing the obvious?

Listen, bub, it’s clear to me, you’re excess baggage. She keeps you around for comic relief…oh and to foot the bill.

Should you leave this woman, you ask. Honey, she’s beaten you to the punch on that one. She’s long gone and left you way behind, at least emotionally and sexually. All that’s left for you to do is find the door and say good-bye to this embarrassing situation.

Name: Leslie
Gender:
Age: 46
Location: Brisbane
Will bicycling make me impotent?

YIKES Leslie, what kind of bike riding are you doing that would put such a notion in your head?

My initial response to your question, of course, was a wisecrack. “Sure, bike riding will make you impotent if you get your balls caught in the spokes. Throw those things over your shoulder when you ride, for christ sake!”

Then I thought to myself, “Wait, what does Leslie mean by impotent?” I know lots of people confuse and/or conflate the two very different concepts of impotency and sterility. So maybe this is an opportunity to sort this out some.

Impotence is characterized by a dude’s inability to develop or maintain an erection. And I suppose extreme bike riding, like the kind I often see on TV, could possibly cause this condition. Especially, if you are knocking your cock around enough to cause your darling little willie serious injury.

Male sterility, on the other hand, is the inability of the male reproductive system (a dude’s balls, basically) to produce enough (or even any live) sperm for the purpose of impregnation. The reason I bring this up is, I know fertility specialists are very concerned about men wearing tight-fitting underwear and pants for long periods of time. (We used to call these cheap hotel pants — there’s no ballroom! Get it?) Tight fitting garments elevate a man’s nuts to the base of his pelvis, which in turn increases the temperature in his huevos. Too much heat kills the little juniors in our baby-batter, don’t cha know!

The reason evolution designed our family jewels to reside outside our bodies and actually hang off of and away from our bodies is so that all our adorable little sperm buddies can stay relatively cool and comfortable till they blissfully shoot out of our dick into a vagina, asshole, condom or Kleenex.

Tighty-whities and all such things, particular those obscenely clingy spandex (which is basically glorified plastic) bike shorts makes things even hotter.  They’re notorious sperm killers! So in a way, Leslie, yes, biking can make you sterile if not impotent.

Good Luck ya’ll!