Search Results: Dick

You are browsing the search results for dick

Libido Disparity

No other sexual complaint for couples is more pervasive then that of libido disparity. I’ve heard from hundreds of frustrated and desperate women and men trapped in undersexed relationships. It’s one thing to have the sexual connection drift away by mutual consent. It’s quite another to have one partner unilaterally dissolve the sexual connection leaving the other partner bewildered and disoriented.

Often a partner will refuse to talk about why the sex has taken a nosedive. I understand not knowing what to say when things go south, or not knowing how to say what may be on your mind. But to clam up all together, that’s just unfair.

Sexuality is both a personal expression and a means of bonding with another. Sexual wellbeing in a relationship is more than simply getting off. It means taking responsibility for one’s eroticism as an integral part of relationship. The confusion, unhappiness and anxiety that result when there’s a breakdown of this can spill over and contaminate other areas of the relationship.

When I encounter this predicament in my counseling practice, I always build in some individual time with each partner even though the couple is there for “couples counseling.” I often get a much better sense of what’s causing the problem in these private sessions. It’s easier for the individual to talk to me privately than to be open, honest and forthcoming about his/her feelings with his/her partner sitting right there.

Some people don’t know how to express themselves without hurting the feelings of the other. Or an individual may not know why things are different than they once were. Often there are lifestyle issues at play — family concerns, work concerns, lack of sleep, drugs and alcohol consumption, etc. Sometimes medical and psychological issues are impacting on a person’s libido — weight gain, birth control, other pharmaceutical drugs, diabetes and depression to mention a few. But more frequently than not, the explanation is the partnered sex has become stale, rote and boring.

Whatever the cause of the imbalance, it needs to be addressed as a couple. Once the couple has identified the problem the next step is learning how to talk about it in an effective yet non-threatening way. This can be tricky, to say the least. But it is still so much easier than trying to avoid the issue all together.

When the couple is ready to break open this discussion, I encourage them to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. I ask them to identify how they feel and own their feelings. “I feel confused. I feel frustrated. I feel that our relationship is in jeopardy.” Avoid statements like; “you make me feel…” Active listening is as important as being honest with one’s feelings.

The couple moves on to identify concrete steps they can take together to address the problem. Making a mutually agreed upon plan of action and sticking to it is essential.

Problems do not go away simply by ignoring them. Disappointments will become resentments and resentments will inevitably lead to acting-out and that will surly fuck things up royally.

Good luck

The Erotic Mind of Mike’s Bliss — Podcast #294 — 08/01/11

Hey sex fans,

We travel to London England today for another amazing podcast in The Erotic Mind series. I have the pleasure of welcoming an internationally renowned artist with a signature style. My guest is none other than the man who goes by the name, Mike’s Bliss.

I’m gonna guess that if you know anything about gay erotic art, you will already recognize Mike’s work. I’ve seen his images around for years, but it was only recently that a mutual friend of ours, William Maltese, a renowned artist in his own right, turned me on to Mike himself. And I am enormously grateful for the introduction, because now I have the privilege of introducing Mike to you.

Mike and I discuss:

  • His early Life;
  • Nor formal art training;
  • His artistic “vocation”;
  • His nom de plume;
  • His relationship with his parents;
  • His artistic temperament;
  • A gay-bashing that triggered his erotic work;
  • Artist? Illustrator? Or both?
  • Words and images and their cathartic nature;
  • His chosen media;
  • His graphic novel, GodMaker: Vampires of London;
  • His erotic religious imagery;
  • His images of cultural icons.

For more of Mike, be sure to visit him on his site HERE!  Buy his book HERE!
And find him on Facebook HERE!

(Click on the thumbnails below for a slideshow of some of Mike’s beautiful work.)

[nggallery id=102]

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Kink for Yuppies

Hey sex fans!

It’s another Product Review Friday. Today we have two LELO products to tell you about.  And, as you know, every time you hear the name LELO you know something up-scale is in the offing.

Today’s reviews are brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew members Gina & Kevin.

Boa Pleasure Ties —— $80.45
Intima Silk Blindfold —— $59.55

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We have two LELO Pleasure Products to tell you about today. Generally, we would do separate reviews for each, but in this instance, since the two products are companion pieces; we thought we’d tie them together in one review.”
Kevin: “Tie then together! You’re such a punster, Gina. The two products are the Boa Pleasure Ties and the Intima Silk Blindfold. If you haven’t already guessed these items are sheshe bondage toys.”

Gina: “The Boa Pleasure Ties are two 42” lengths of luscious 100% pure scarlet silk to be used as restraints. At one end of each tie is a lightly weighted pouch, at the other end stylish metal rings. This is divine decadence at its…well most decedent. You use the Boa Pleasure Ties as you would any restraint. Use them to secure wrists and/or ankles to a bedpost, or the like, for some lie-down bondage.”
Kevin: “You can also sling the weighted pouches over a door. When the door is closed the pouches keep the ties from slipping through, allowing for some stand-up bondage.”

Gina: “The Boa Pleasure Ties work like a typical two O-ring belt does. You make a loop around the parts you are restraining; the end is pulled through the two O-rings, then doubled back around one o-ring to keep the restraint in place. The silk moves smoothly and effortlessly over the skin.”
Kevin: “The Intima Silk Blindfold, on the other hand, is designed to offer sensual sensory deprivation along with your sensual bondage. It too is made of 100% pure scarlet silk. I have to say; the concept, craftsmanship and production values of both these products are exquisite. The attention to detail is remarkable. But then again, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the venerable LELO brand.”
Gina: “And while we’re talking about presentation, we should also say a few words about the packaging. Both packages are identical and in a word, elegant. Both the blindfold and ties come in a simple, understated black matte box that is encased in an outer box of glossy cardboard. The outer box features a stunning image of the product and it is embossed with the LELO logo. Inside the inner black matte box, the products are wrapped inside attractive high-quality tissue paper. All the packaging is biodegradable. Congratulations on GREENING your packaging, LELO.”
Kevin: “OK, so that’s all the good stuff. Let’s take a closer look, shall we? The Boa Pleasure Ties are basically extravagant playthings. They are not intended for a real bondage scenario. The oversized O-rings let the silk material slip between them with ease. This will frustrate anyone but the rank amateur or a silly dilettante.”
Gina: “And the Intima Silk Blindfold doesn’t actually work when put to the test. The design is very peculiar. It is a one-piece blindfold that has a tight elastic band in back. It did not fit comfortably on my head; it was way too tight. The curious thing is that the blindfold comes with attached ties that would have served much better for securing the blindfold to one’s head. Why it has both an elastic band and ties is beyond me.”
Kevin: “And although the blindfold is attractive, it simply doesn’t provide the sensory deprivation any true blindfold should. You can see light through it and it doesn’t cover ones eyes properly.”
Gina: “And whatever you do, don’t get either the Boa Pleasure Ties or the Intima Silk Blindfold dirty. Body oils, makeup and perspiration will ruin the silk. And if you should accidentally get lube on either one of these toys, you can forget about it.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

A High-Summer Q&A Show — Podcast #293 — 07/25/11

Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Holy cow, where has the time gone? Here it is the end of July and we haven’t had a Q&A show since early last month. And because of that my email in-box is overflowing! Besides a big hot load of questions from the sexually worrisome out there I have a special treat for you today. I am pleased to announce that my most excellent summer intern, Monique, will be joining me for today’s show.

That’s right, sex fans, someone high up at the University of Washington made the ill-advised decision to let me mentor an impressionable young lass for the summer. I mean, what in the world were they thinking, right? Well, as it turns out, my most excellent summer intern, Monique, is pretty gal-darn amazing, as you will soon hear for yourself.

  • Jessie can’t get off by herself or with her BF.
  • Ruben has a big hard dick, but only when he’s by himself.

Monique and I discuss:

  • Joe who jerks off to porn a lot.
  • Claire who claims she is a 31-year-old lesbian virgin.
  • Nipple Dude who’s into DYS nipple torture.

Finally

  • Sammy and her GF have a messed up relationship.
  • Owen wants to restore his foreskin.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

It’s Only Natural!

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and we have two more Intimate Organics products  to tell you about. I say “more”, because we reviewed one of their other products a couple of weeks ago. You can find that review HERE!

This week’s reviews come to you by way of Dr Dick Review Crew members Denise and Karen.

Intimate Organics Intense – clitoral gel —— $15.60

Karen
I thought to myself: Oh goodie, Intimate Organics Intense clitoral gel sounds simply delightful. I can’t wait to give it a whirl. Alas, once I did, I found that it didn’t live up to my, perhaps inflated, expectations.

Allow me to explain. It appears the Intimate Organics people and I have a completely different take on what the word “intense” means. When I think “intense” I think WOW, totally awesome! Intimate Organics Intense didn’t even come close to WOW or awesome. That’s not to say it didn’t work at all; it did. It’s just that it was mild, not wild.

Now, I’m the first one to acknowledge that every woman’s naughty bits are different from every other woman’s naughty bits. A woman’s response to a product like Intimate Organics Intense will be very subjective. What is thrilling to one may not be all that exciting to another. So how this clitoral gel panned out for me may not predict your experience.

Intimate Organics Intense is a clear gel, easy to use and it isn’t runny. I am totally stoked that this product is certified paraben-free, pure vegan and DEA-free. In fact, I couldn’t be more pleased in this regard. I’ll choose an organic product over an alternative every time.

I’m guessing the active ingredient in Intimate Organics Intense is the peppermint oil. It has a slight peppermint taste and the warming/stimulating/cooling effect is probably due to that too. I just wished they had kicked it up a notch.

I used Intimate Organics Intense on myself first. Than Jack and I used it together. I used it on my clit and I dabbed it on my nipples. There was an increase in sensations, but like I said there was nothing intense about it.

It works best when you apply it and then wait about 2 minutes and will last for about 10 minutes or so.
Full Review HERE!

Defense Protection Lubricant —— $8.78

Denise
Before I started to use Defense Protection Lubricant I thought I’d better do a little background check. You see, we’ve reviewed dozens of lubes on this site, but this is the first one that suggested it protects. But protects what, or protects against what; was my question.

This is what I discovered. Defense Protection Lubricant contains both caarrageean (sea kelp) and guava bark, an anti-bacterial extract. Apparently there are studies that show carrageenan inhibits the virus (HPV) that cause cervical cancer and genital warts. Guava bark has been traditionally used as a douche to treat and prevent yeast infections. I really think this is a great idea. I just hope that folks don’t get the wrong impression and think that use of Defense Protection Lubricant is a sufficient means of protecting oneself from all STIs.

I also want to point out that carrageenan is a vegan alternative to gelatin.

Defense Protection Lubricant is a light, water-based, glycerin-free, propylene glycol-free, condom friendly lubricant. All of these fine GREEN attributes make this lube worthy of your serious consideration. If I have one quarrel with the product it is that Defense Protection Lubricant dries out very quickly. It doesn’t get sticky, mind you, but it does dry out. Ken and I found that we needed to reapply several times even before we got to the main fucking event.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY