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Whoa Daddy!

Name: Kirk
Gender: Male
Age:
Location: Belfast
I think my dad is sexy and want to fuck him but am scared to ask! I also fancy my best friend and every time he stays over with me I fantasize sucking his cock and fucking him hard what do I do?

My you’re a randy little bugger, huh Kirk? I see you didn’t include your age when you wrote me. so I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess you’re still a lad.

First off, I want to direct your attention to the advice I gave a young man named Jaymie earlier this month. You will find that column HERE! I want you to read this because my words to him apply to you as well. Particularly in terms of your desire to suck your best friend’s cock and fucking him hard. You’re such a charmer!

Second, you should know that you follow in a very long line of gay men who have and do fantasize about boning their hunky dads. This is all very natural and it provides a wealth of extremely tantalizing mental material for our wank sessions. And that, my friend, is where this oughta stay.

Incest, and that’s what we’re talking about, is taboo. And it’s taboo for several really good reasons. The most devastating thing about incest is the secrecy that must surround it. No one violates this universal taboo in the open. The secrecy and the inevitable shame and guilt when found out will, sure as shootin’, destroy a family dynamic. Your old man will know this even if you haven’t grasped this yet yourself.

At the same time, it would be foolish to deny that sexual and erotic tensions often swirl around a family dynamic. It’s unavoidable. A father’s love for his children, a mother’s love for her children can and sometimes does develop an erotic component. A son’s love for his parents, a daughter’s love for her parents can morph into a powerful sexual desire. But like I said, crossing the line from longing to actuality is a loaded gun aimed at the heart of the family. Your dad’s parental responsibilities to you must trump any eroticism he may have toward you. You, on the other hand, have a responsibility to your father not make his job any more difficult than it is.

Here’s the thing, part of being a parent to a teenager is acknowledging and allowing for the teen to practice his or her seduction skills inside the family unit. Girls harmlessly flirt with their fathers and compete with their mothers. Boys harmlessly flirt with their mothers and compete with their fathers. And sometimes this happens toward the same-sex parent too — boys toward their fathers and girls toward their mothers. The adults need to take all of this in stride. They have to believe the flirtation is harmless so they can provide their children with the proper non-seductive environment for their maturation to occur. If the flirting crosses the line into full-on, for real seduction the unspoken agreement between parents and children is shattered. And there will be hell to pay.

The same is true in the reverse. A child must have the confidence that as they mature and develop their sexual identity, they will not unwittingly become the object of their parent’s seduction or worse their predation.

Of course, Kirk, there’s the distinct possibility that your old man doesn’t share your sexual predilections. And coming on to him could easily destroy whatever bond you may share. In fact, your disclosure could easily backfire into a violent response. Your dad could easily knock your block off.

Here’s a tip: if you absolutely must confess or confide your attraction, save it for when you are old enough to have moved out of your parent’s house. That way some of the sting will have gone out of revelation because the family dynamic will have changed. But you can be sure the awkwardness will continue.

Good luck

I’d like to remind you of the toll-free Lick-A-Dee-Split sex advice podcast VOICEMAIL HOTLINE at 866-422-5680. Got a question or a comment? Want to rant or rave for a bit. Or maybe you just gotta talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest and give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

Jizz4U

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and this week we review a great product that everyone can use and enjoy. And in doing so we welcome a new manufacturer to our review effort, CumShotLube. Can ya stand it? What a brilliant name.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Mick & Chuck, for their take on this new personal lubricant.

CumShotLube —— $12.99

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Ya know, when it comes to lube, I pretty much though the Dr Dick Review Crew had covered all the bases. I thought for certain there wasn’t anything new under the sun. I mean you got your water-based lubes, your silicone-based lubes and your oil-based lubes and that pretty much sums it up.”
Chuck: “Don’t forget you’ve got your warming, arousing and desensitizing lubes and all those flavored lubes too.”
Mick: “Oh right! So you can imagine how unenthusiastic we were when Dr Dick handed us yet another bottle of lube to review. Of course our interest was peaked when we took a look at the label. I confess, the clever name, CumShotLube, got me smiling. But, I’ve been charmed by a product’s name before, only to discover the product sucked…and not in a good way.”
Chuck: “Dr Dick said he though we would be pleasantly surprised by CumShotLube. He said that he hadn’t seen anything like it before and he thought we were the perfect couple to review it. We always listen to what the good doctor says, so we took our little bottle of lube home with us intending to put it to good use in the coming days.”
Mick: “Our first play date with CumShotLube was at one of our mutual wank fests. Sometimes, after a hard day at work, we are too tired for a full-on fuck, So we pop some porn in the DVD player and settle in for an evening of pulling our puds. Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather when we broke out the lube. CumShotLube is fuckin’ amazing. I mean it looks and feels just like semen. A dollop of CumShotLube warming in the palm of my hand actually separated a bit, just like my own spooge does. It has the same consistency and viscosity of my own load. In fact, I couldn’t tell the difference between my cum and CumShotLube.”
Chuck: “Damn right! We both couldn’t believe our eyes. It’s so realistic. And it has no discernable taste, which is really important to me. A lot of lubes I’ve tried taste funny, kinda chemically, and that’s a deal breaker for me.”
Mick: “CumShotLube is long lasting too. I don’t know about you, but Chuck and I like to use one another’s cum to lubricate ourselves to a finish. Lets say he cums first. He shoots his wad on me and I scoop it up and slather it all over my cock. This is great, but actual spunk dries out really fast. Not CumShotLube.”
Chuck: “We had so much fun jacking off with this stuff we thought we’d try fucking with it too. We decided to warm the lube a bit in a bowl of hot water. This way, a shot of CumShotLube feels, as well as looks, like the real thing. And this lube has staying power. It doesn’t dry out like other water-based lubes we’ve tried.”
Mick: “We both noticed that there’s powerful erotic component to using CumShotLube. We even discussed this with Dr Dick. We think that jizz is a powerful aphrodisiac for a lot of guys, maybe even some women too. I know it is for us. We love to see it. We love to play with it. We love to rub it into our skin. It’s a huge turn on for us. With CumShotLube we get to indulge our little cum fetish as much as we would like.”
Chuck: “Ok, so CumShotLube, is the ideal personal lube for all your lubricant needs. But then again, there are lots of fine personal lubricants on store shelves these days. What sets CumShotLube apart from the others? It’s the play factor. And before you discount that, try to imagine your favorite porn movie without all the cum shots. I rest my case.”
Mick: “That’s funny, I was thinking the same thing. In fact, I was thinking how CumShotLube is going to revolutionize the porn industry. I think we all know that some of the money shots, as they are called in the industry, are faked. Now studio executives have CumShotLube to save the day. No more watered down mayonnaise.”
Chuck: “And think of all the guys who can’t of don’t shoot much of a load, if any. We have a friend who had prostate cancer and had is prostate removed. He has no ejaculate at all. This product will help him overcome being self consciousness about that. CumShotLube is condom compatible and you can use it with all your favorite toys, even with your expensive silicone toys. It won’t stain bedding or clothes either. We love the packaging too. Very creative!”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Learning to ride

Hey sex fans!

We’re all back from Spring Break. Did you miss us? We sure missed you. So ok, let’s get this ball rolling again with a timely question from one of my correspondents.

Name: Drew
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Boise
I’m gay, I’m a virgin, and I think I may be afraid of sex. In all the porn I’ve seen, the bottom guy looks uncomfortable and in pain, why would I want that? I’ve only done anything sexual with one guy and I was so anxious that I couldn’t even get up. I liked the guy, he was hot, and I enjoyed all the fore-play type stuff, but I just couldn’t do anything else. Any advice on how to get over this?

First thing, don’t ever look to porn for your sex education; you will surely be misled. Second, that grimace that you report seeing on the bottom’s face as he is being penetrated, may be a grimace of pleasure not pain. I think you are projecting your own discomfort on the guys in the movies.

Let me tell you a little story. The other day I was walking in the park with Ginger the dog. Actually, I was trying to walk like a normal person, but she was pulling me along like a maniac. We were both, in our own way, enjoying some beautiful spring weather and the sights, sounds and smells nature in its glory. As we walked along we encountered a father and son who were seriously involved in what appeared to be the kid’s first lesson in riding a bicycle…without training wheels. Despite the father’s patient encouragement the kid couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He would start out ok, but just as soon as his dad let go of the back of his seat the boy would wobble and eventually crash. There were plenty of tears, a skinned knee and the boy’s fear and anxiety was thick enough to cut with a knife. It was quite a scene.

The kid was convinced that he didn’t have what it took to ride on his own. His defeatism fueled itself and became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He finally gave up. Sat down on a bench, his bike in a tangle at his side, and refused his father’s pleading that he try again. In the kid’s mind the bike was the enemy another attempt would only hurt and humiliate, and so the lesson ended.

What the kid lacked was self-confidence, a sense of adventure and probably more importantly — balance. I wish I had had an opportunity to suggest to the boy and his dad, that they might try another ploy. I wanted to say, set the bike aside and work on that balance thing first. This would surely increase the boy’s confidence and it wouldn’t cost a blow to his ego or his knee. And it would be fun.

I would have suggested the dad start by helping the kid walk on 4” curb, balancing himself as he went. Then the dad could increase the challenge to include balancing on one foot, then the other. Once the kid discovered the power within him to accomplish these tasks, the bike could be reintroduced. The father would assist the boy in drawing upon his skill in balancing on the curb to master balancing on his bike.

The same will be true for you, Drew. Sex is nothing to be afraid of. Rather it is a skill that one learns. Some, obviously, take to it quicker than others, but everyone can learn a happy, healthy sexual expression that will build self-esteem and bring great pleasure.

I want you to start exploring and enjoying your bottom on your own. Like the kid in the park, you need to acquaint yourself with the powers that lie within you. He needed to find a sense of balance within himself; you need to find the Big Old Butt Pirate within yourself.

Most all of the discomfort in butt fucking is associated with your sphincter muscle trying to resist whatever it is being inserted in your ass. When this muscle resists to the point of spasm things can become very painful. So here’s what I want you to do.

  • First, before you start playing with your hole — relax. Just like the kid in the park would have needed to calm himself before attempting to balance on the curb. The same is true for you.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to center yourself.
  • Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, oil-based lubricants aren’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a little self-pleasuring. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand and get into your happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint. With legs open wide find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
  • If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once you are comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
  • Find your prostate. It shouldn’t be hard to find if you’re all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage. If you’re still stroking your wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you to bust your nut. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as you are about to shoot.
  • As you jizz you will also notice that your sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt

Continue these self-pleasuring exercises until you are comfortable inserting a couple fingers in your ass. Then try a small vibrating dildo. In no time at all you will be ready to jump on your bike and ride…so to speak.

With these exercises behind you, no pun intended, the first time you actually fuck with a partner will be the incredible experience it is meant to be. If you encounter any discomfort you’ll know what to do — deep breathing to relax and priming your hole with a lubed finger or two.

  • First, attend to your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re clean inside. We don’t want any unsightly and embarrassing mishaps to mess up the big event.
  • Remember to take it slow. There’s no rushing pleasure. And you’ll be the one in charge of what goes in your ass, when and for how long.
  • Warm up with some foreplay, kissing, sucking, licking, rimming touching and massaging.
  • Have condoms and lots of lube near to hand.
  • While you’re warming up, start loosening up your ass with your lubed fingers, just like in your self-pleasuring exercises.
  • Once you’re comfortable offer your ass to your partner. Have him replace your fingers with his own. Try some swell finger-fucking first.
  • Once you’re relaxed and loose, lie on your side with your partner behind you. Have him slowly push his cock against your rosebud.
  • Try pushing out like you are trying to take a dump. This will help open up your sphincter for his entry.
  • As he enters you, have him stop so that you can breathe deeply. Give your ass the time it needs to adjust to the new sensations. If there’s pain or discomfort have your partner reverse course and go back to finger fucking before you proceed.
  • Make sure that your partner knows that if you ask him to stop; he will stop. Trust is very important in butt fucking.
  • As he fills you with his dick he will hit your prostate. This will send waves of pleasure through your body and signal your sphincter to open for even more.
  • You may find that you’ll even want to push your ass back to meet and engulf his cock.

By the time this happens you will happily discover that you are ridding your bike all by yourself. And you will be very happy.

Good luck

First Time, Every Time

Name: Julie
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Location: Kentucky
I am a virgin. I am also just asking. How do I keep my first time from hurting? Some say lubrication in excess, but I am very small.

Yep, lots of lube is important — first time and every time.

But there is so much more you can do to prepare yourself for your first fuck. Begin by knowing your body and your sexual response cycle.

Is it safe to assume, even though you are a virgin to full-on fucking, that you are familiar with masturbation? If not, darling, that’s where you should start. If you enjoy pleasuring your body to orgasm, you will likely know the kind of stimulation you need to achieve full arousal. This is precisely the information you will want to pass on to your partner before the first fuck-fest begins as well as throughout the event.

The more you know about your body and the mysteries of your particular sexual response cycle the smoother things will go for you and your partner. Nowadays there is absolutely no need for anyone to come to their first partnered sexual encounter uninformed about sex in general and his or her sexuality in particular.

There are three main reasons why a women might experience pain during fucking — for the first time or anytime: 1) She is inexperienced. 2) Her partner is inexperienced or doesn’t know the first thing about mutual pleasuring, 3) She is not fully aroused. Right away you can see how a familiarity with your body in general and your pussy in particular will short-circuit at least two of the three main reasons right away. And while you can’t account for the sexual prowess of your partner, you will be able to direct him/her on how to touch and make love to you. And that, my dear, takes care of the third main reason.

One other thing, a lot of women don’t relax during sex…thus discomfort…because they worry about becoming pregnant. If you’re not well versed on the main methods of contraception and actually using one of them, you’re not ready to have sex. And one other thing, sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for both you and your partner. Don’t be a fuck-up; make sure your partner always uses a condom.

Name: Rocket Man
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: Nashville
Big Dr. Dick, Between busy work schedules, traveling and such, I haven’t had much time for sex. It was actually about a 5-week span without sex or masturbation. When my wife and I finally got together I was built up big time. I knew my response would be quick and my load would likely triple its normal oozeage. Being that it had been so long, there was not much foreplay…we just wanted to get down to the hardcore humping.

I was sitting on a couch and she climbed on top. On her 3rd down stroke, I blew like a Friday afternoon work whistle. She shot off my cock back first into the coffee table, broke it in half and received a few splinters in her ass! Should we replace this piece of furniture, or should I just make her kneel on the floor and rest my legs on her when she’s done sucking me off in the future?

You Nashville folks have all the fun! You get extra points for making me laugh. Perhaps all ya need is sturdier furniture.

PS: don’t be surprised if I steal this: “I blew like a Friday afternoon work whistle.” That’s just downright hilarious.

Name: Colleen
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Location: California
I have noticed lately that I am way more horny than normal. It is like I can’t get enough and the slightest touch gets me going. Also my natural smell from my vagina seems to be extra strong lately and sometimes after my husband and I have sex I have a clear but chunky discharge. I regularly with use Summer’s Eve wash and I have never smelled so strong as I do now. I feel like I am a dog in heat. What is wrong with me?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? Simply put, you’re 28 and you’re as randy as all get-out, darling. Sounds like you’re pert-near feral. If you were in the wild your super-strong odor would attract males from far and wide, each and every one wanting to satisfy your vixen lusts. Good for you!

And here’s a tip: quit with the over the counter douches, already, especially the ones with the fragrances. Despite the perceived benefits of douching, there is growing evidence that any potential health benefit may be outweighed by risks of douching with such products.

Douching upsets the vaginal environment in a number of ways. It shifts the pH, causes direct irritation and inflammation of the vaginal mucosa (the delicate lining of your pussy), and it washes away the good bacteria. So do not douche.

It can also drive bad bacteria up into the uterus and increase the risk of pelvic inflammatory disease. Women who douche, even infrequently are much more prone to the common vaginal infection, Bacterial Vaginosis (BV). All ‘feminine hygiene products’ (suppositories, sprays, cleansers, etc) are useless, potentially disruptive, totally unnecessary and a waste of your money. Also avoid any strong chemicals, such as deodorant soaps, anti-bacterial soaps, strongly perfumed soaps or body washes as they can all have negative effects on the beneficial flora and lead to infections and irritation.

And that “clear but chunky discharge” you’re having after the hubby bones you? If your pussy is healthy, Doll, I’d be willing to guess that’s his spooge drippin’ out of your cunt. Ahhh, youth! But if you think otherwise, why not have a physician take a look.

Good Luck, ya’ll!

Great Balls of Fire!

Name: Owen
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Location: Sydney
I got a penis pump as gag gift for my last birthday. We all got a good laugh when I open the package with all my friends sitting around. I put it away thinking I would never use such a thing, mostly because I didn’t know how to use it. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I was bored and while rummaging through my closet I came up with the pump. I decided to figure out how it worked. It was great fun, but I would never tell anyone about this. On a whim I decided to put my balls in the pump because I am really into ball play. I discovered that I liked this even more than I liked the pump on my cock. I don’t know who else to ask, so here goes. Is ball pumping dangerous?

You are such a clever lad, Owen. See, what they say about idle hands being the devils workshop is true, huh?

Actually, guys have been stretching their balls for just about as long as us men folk have had balls to stretch…and that’s a mighty long time. The only thing that screams male virility and potency as much as a big dick is a pair of big low hangin’ nuts. In fact in many societies throughout history a man’s cajones were considered sacred. They were revered as objects of religious, social, cultural and even magical power. In fact in ancient Rome, when a man would take an oath he would grab his balls, just like we put our hand on a bible today. In fact, that’s where we got the word, “testify”, from the Latin: testis.

Men discovered early on that ball stretching was both erotic fun and relatively easy to do. Just to clarify…when I say ball stretching, what I really mean is sack (scrotum) stretching. One cannot really increase the size of his balls (testicles). Soon men in many societies were stretching their junk to call attention to their manliness. With the help of a stretching device of one sort or another, and there are several, men were able to lengthen their balls with very little effort.

So, you’ve discovered the joys of ball stretching using your penis pump, huh? You are not alone. This is a very popular fetish/pastime. Since you already know that your balls are sensitive to touch, pressure and temperature let’s spend a minute getting acquainted with what we have hanging between our legs.

Your family jewels, formally called “testes” are nestled within your nutsack, formally called a “scrotum”. Your two gonads (some guys are born with just one) are your male reproductive organs. They’re kinda oval shaped and are, on average, 1 3/4″ long by 1” wide. Each ball resides in its own independent sac. Your left nut probably hangs lower in its sac than the right one. This is nature’s way of keeping them from banging into one another all the time.

Your ‘nads produce the male hormone, testosterone, and also produce sperm cells. Each one has a number of small tubes attached to it called the epididymides. There’s another tube attached to each ball called the vas deferens (the chord). The vas deferens carry your sperm cells to the prostate gland where the sperm is mixed with seminal fluid. And when the time comes, the whole mess comes shootin’ our your johnson as spooge.

Why not take a minute to carefully fondle one of your balls. If you can picture in your mind’s eye the anatomy of your testicle while you’re groping around down there, you can actually feel the difference between the epididymides and the vas deferens. If you’re not familiar with your testicular anatomy, search the internets for a visual aid, like a nice diagram. These diagrams are not hard to find. Even this gentle non-erotic probing feels way good, huh? No wonder having someone suck on our nuts can drive us boys wild. But I digress.

We’ll get to your questions about ball pumping safety in a minute, Owen. But before we do, I’d like to take this opportunity to look at alternative means of ball stretching for all those in my audience who would like to experiment, but don’t have a pump.

The first method is the simplest and you don’t even need no stinkin’ equipment. Let’s call this the manual method. All ya do is give your huevos a nice sustained tug. Alternate your tugging with some nice ball massage. Over time this will help to lengthen you ball sack because you’re manually forcing it downward. The more you pull and the longer you pull, the more you will affect the hang of your balls. This method is particularly effective after a hot bath or shower. Your skin will be at its most pliable then. This method is safe and effective and even a rank amateur can pull it off, so to speak. You’re not gonna see a lot of results immediately, but your patience will pay off. Listen, even if your objective is not to get lower hanging balls, this’ll be fun and pleasurable all on its one. It might just get you to pay your balls some attention while you’re jerkin off. And that will make both you and your nuts much happier.

Kicking things up a notch, you can invest in a relatively inexpensive ball stretcher. You’ll find a whole bunch of them in Dr Dick’s Stockroom. The most common type of stretcher is a leather band. There are also Neoprene and metal ones too. Simply put, these little buggers just make a space between your testicles and your body. The thicker the band, the greater the space…obviously! Some of these stretchers come weighted; others allow you to add weights to them. This is probably not advised for the novice stretcher, but you’ll be surprised how much fun this can be. Just have your wits about you when you try this. Too much weight for too long a time can cause serious injury. Make sure you use a lubricant to help reduce chafing during your stretching session. Also if you do use weights, don’t move around when you have them attached. That’s just common sense.

Now to the vacuum pump method. Some guys pump their balls separate from their dick, as apparently you do, Owen. Others pump cock and balls together. There are even specifically designed cylinders to facilitate this. For safety sake, keep your pumping sessions to 10 minutes or less. You can throw in a nice massage session afterward and you’ll be one happy fella. Remember overuse or over-enthusiastic pumping can cause blood vessel damage, bruising and blistering. If you’re lucky enough to have a pressure gage on the device you’re using, always keep the pressure between -5 and –10 in Hg (mercury inches), never more.

Your scrotum is highly elastic, so the lengthening you produce will mostly be temporary, unless you do this on a regular basis. Effects will diminish over a period of 24-48 hours.

Good luck

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