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Sex EDGE-U-cation with Chris Yosef – Podcast #142 – 08/05/09

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with some mighty fine Sex EDGE-U-cation, people!  As you know, Photo 32this podcast series takes a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative sexual lifestyles.  And today’s guest adds his unique voice to the chorus of prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles that we have heard from so far.

I have the honor of welcoming an extraordinary fellow, Chris Yosef.  He and I will be delving into some of the same things I’ve discussed with others in this series — BDSM, polyamory, porn, spirituality and love — but he speaks from his perspective of a sub in a Dom/sub relationship.  And that’s a first for this series.

You won’t want to miss a minute of this exceptional conversation!

Chris and I discuss:

  • What appears to be a jumble of contradictions in his life.
  • His immersion in Kabbalah.
  • Being a collared boy in a D/s relationship.
  • Safe/Sane/Consensual Power-play.
  • His public advocacy for RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink).
  • Being a pro-sub, at least in the movies.

And for an up close and personal view of my guest and his polyamorous family, visit Chris on his blog HERE!

See a slideshow of Chris & friends at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.

[nggallery id=34]

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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The Erotic Mind of Craig J. Sorensen — Podcast #141 — 08/03/09

Hey sex fans,

I have an outstanding show in store for you today.  We’re back in the world of words in Craig J Sorensen Jul 08this series of podcasts called The Erotic Mind.

Today I have the pleasure of introducing you to an enormously talented author from the western Pennsylvania, Craig J. Sorensen.  Although he is a relative newcomer to erotica, he is a rising star.  His fiction can be found in some of the best anthologies as well as published online.

For more of Craig, be sure to visit him on his blog HERE!
Or check out his page on Clean Sheets HERE!

Craig and I discuss:

  • His published work.
  • Writing under his own name.
  • The difficult beginning to his writing career.
  • The vibrant community of fellow erotic authors that he belongs to.
  • Reactions of friends to his erotica.
  • How he writes stories that are about people, which happen to be erotic.
  • How culture and individual tastes determine what is erotic.

As a special treat, Craig will share with us two mouth-watering pieces of the fruit of his Erotic Mind.  You won’t want miss these, people!

afternoon delight cover bottoms up spanking good erotica frenzy hurts so good cover LesbianCowboys cover Love Notes cover

(click on the thumbnails to get more information about these volumes)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe.  I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Easy Cum, Easy Go

Hey sex fans,

Listen up!

I’m adding this new feature to my Q&A columns.  Whenever possible, I will include in my response a link to a movie in my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY (see the VOD tab at the top of the page?) that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.

Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand.  I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource.  (Click on the images below for viewing information.)

Name: Spencer
Gender:
Age: 37
Location: Ottawa
I am very interested in learning more about prostate massage and milking techniques.  Are you familiar with these things?  Thank you.

I am very familiar with both prostate massage and the fetish commonly known as milking.

But let’s begin with prostate massage, because it is something every guy can practice and enjoy.  I a53342_xlfrecommend all us men folk be prostate aware.  You know I’m a big advocate of frequent prostate self-exam, right?  And I figure while you’re down there rootin’ around in your butt-hole checking for abnormalities, hey spend a little more time and give yourself a nice massage why don’t ‘cha?  Fingers work just fine for this, but an insertable vibrator is…well…out of this world.  Prostate massage is a wonderful way to expand your self-pleasuring repertoire, especially for all you guys out there who only know how to yank on their dick for joy.  And ladies, prostate massage is a great way to play with your male partners.  Perhaps if you signal to your guy that a little butt play can be fun, more straight guys will be less ass-phobic and the world will be a much better place, don’t cha know.

You can feel your prostate gland by inserting a finger a couple of inches or so into your bum.  If you are the least bit aroused your prostate will feel like a smooth rounded flat lump about the size of a large almond. Just in back of and up from your prostate is a smaller triangular wedge shaped nodule that is the bottom portion of your somewhat larger seminal vesicles.  This, by the way, is where most of your jizz is produced and stored. Underneath the seminal vesicles are the ampullae, which are tiny reservoirs for your sperm that will mix with all the other fluids produced by the vesicles and your prostate when you cum.

a73296_xlfAs you become aroused, ejaculatory fluid and sperm accumulate in these glands backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When the fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the muscular contractions of your ejaculation.  This empties the glands and you’ve just shot your wad.

Naturally, if one abstains from ejaculating for a while and prolongs his arousal stage, say like through edging, more fluids will build up, making for a larger load and a more explosive orgasm.

So with that little anatomy lesson behind us, so to speak, we can get back to prostate massage.  Simply insert your well-lubricated middle finger or middle finger and index finger into your butt hole and apply a little pressure.  Slowly massage your prostate.  Doesn’t that feel yummy?  Some men can cum by prostate massage alone.  Hell, you may find that you don’t even need a stiff dick to enjoy an orgasm and/or an ejaculation.

a83370_xlfNow to kink things up a bit we introduce the fetish called milking.  This is mostly a partnered — dom/sub, bondage/discipline — sort of deal.  But a guy can certainly do it on his own if he’d like.  Basically, the object here is to drain and collect the spunk produced.  How it’s collected?  Well that’s is up for grabs.  Ya see there are a zillion variations on the milking theme.  Some practitioners deny the donor the pleasure of an orgasm while collecting his jizz.  Ice packs are placed on a guy’s cock and balls before milking begins.  The spooge will flow through prostate massage and masturbation, but there won’t be much feeling for the donor.

Another interesting twist on milking is to completely restrain and blindfold the donor.  This may include a little (or a lot) of cock and ball torture (CBT) during the milking sessions.  There are even milking machines available, not unlike the contraptions that milk a mother’s breast, for the medical fetishists among us.

There are sadists who revel in denying the donor any sexual release except for his milking sessions.  This is where a male chastity belt will come in mighty handy.  A guy will still need to a71598_xlfhave his balls drained, so to speak, every few weeks in order to avoid him losing his joy juice in a wet dream or when he takes a piss. But with regular prostate milkings, a dude can be deprived of orgasmic release for a long time with no harmful effects.

Those going for volume rather than frequency practice what is known as cum control, which takes edging to a whole new level.   Their objective is to go as long as possible without triggering an orgasm or a wet dream.  Since the pressure of fluid buildup increases with each arousal, the urgency to have an ejaculation also increases.  To deny himself the release is, for some, exquisitely painful.

If you’re still looking for more information on all of this, search them interweb tubes for key words like:  Semen Worship / Orgasm Control / Cum Control / Milking / Edging / Chastity and Cock and Ball Torture.

Name: Shelly
Gender:
Age: 21
Location: Atlanta
How come men are seen as ‘studs’ and women as ‘sluts’ for doing the same things.

Basically darling, that’s because our culture is pretty fucked up — sexually, and in so many other was too.

Despite the progress we’ve made over the last 50 years to liberate ourselves from suffocating 5Blit2oaSplgn264lJN97XCpo1_400sex-role stereotyping and culturally induced gender expectations, we are nowhere near being free and clear of all that crap.

Changing societal attitudes about sex begins with each one of us carving out our own healthy place to celebrate our sexuality.  Carving out that place means we don’t tolerate this or any other kind of double standard bullshit from those around us.  It’s tough standing against the tide of sexual bigotry, but it will make you strong and proud.  Banding together with other like-minded people for support and encouragement is also important.

The biggest danger, of course, is that young, sexually progressive women will, in time, cave to the pressure to conform.  They will begin to internalize the madonna/whore dichotomy that has plagued all of us for millennia and pass it on to yet another generation of vulnerable women.  The risk is always there; so vigilance is the only response.

And all you guys out there who think that this double standard is the way things oughta be.  Think again!  You are not a stud if you cheapen your sexual partners by degrading them; you’re just an asshole.

Name: Brianna
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: San Diego
I’ve been so disturbed about the increasing number of recalled Chinese made products lately — dog food, toothpaste, children’s toys and the like — that I was horrified to discover that most of my sex toys are made in China.  I suppose this is a dumb time to ask, but how safe are sex toys?

That is a real good question, Brianna.  Ya know there was a time when I thought that the greatest hazard to the ardent sex toy consumer was simply all the poorly designed and cheaply a2458_xlfmanufactured crap that floods the marketplace.  But in light of the alarming news of recent months about the safety risks of many products coming from China, I think there is room for concern about the safety of Chinese made sex toys.

I hasten to add that not all Chinese imports are dangerous.  Nor are all products grown or manufactured in the US safe.  But there is a long history of unscrupulous Western companies exploiting the Chinese labor force.  This greed and abuse leads to a dangerous mix that often has dire consequences.

Obviously there is no government regulatory agency out there with a mandate to protect us from unsafe or unhealthful sex toys.  Of course, one can make the case that even when there is a government regulatory agency with a mandate to protect us, and our pets, from unsafe, tainted or unhealthy food, drugs and other consumables they’re not doing a particularly good job.

The sex toy industry does an equally piss-poor job of regulating itself.  No surprise there, I suppose.  Profit motives seem to trump all other considerations.  And since there is virtually no scientific data on sex toy safety the responsibility for keeping ourselves safe falls to us, the consumer.  It’s up to us to positively impact the market.  We can begin by taking some responsibility for what we consume.  We can go GREEN with our sex toys, so to speak.  We could patronize only the retailers that provide fair and balanced product reviews.  We could refrain from buying on impulse or being swayed by slick smutty packaging.  We could avoid excess packaging that only winds up in a landfill.

We could avoid doing business with sex toy retailers who continue to peddle products with by unsubstantiated claims.  Herbal supplements that promise to grow a guy’s dick bigger or enhance his sexual performance.  Or those patches, pills and lubricating oils that are supposed to boost a chick’s desire.  It’s not like there aren’t good products out there, it’s just that we have to do our research before we buy.  Check out some of the great Product Review Sites too — Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews, Jane’s Guide or Hey Epiphora.

a122441_xlfWe could protect ourselves by insisting our toys be manufactured by people who have access to sex information, education and contraception for themselves.  If our purchases support repressive governments who abuse their people we are complicit in the repression.  Imagine our dildos, vibrators and fetish gear being manufactured by people who will never be able to enjoy a happy, healthy integrated sex life because of gender inequity or poverty.  That sucks, huh?

We can also protect ourselves by patronizing responsible and ethical sex toy retailers.  These include my very own Dr Dick’s Stockroom, Good Vibrations, Babeland and Eden Fantasys.  These retailers have excellent customer service departments and well as educational components to outreach.  They’re also terrific resources for all your sex toy related questions.

There have been a lot of unsubstantiated claims made of late that there is a potential danger in all sex toys.  Some insist that most sex toys contain cancer-causing ingredients. While I won’t go that far, there are some things to be concerned about.  For example, many soft rubber toys are made using phthalates, which have been linked to environmental and human health issues. Phthalates (pronounced “thall-eights”) are a chemical compound used to soften hard plastics into soft rubbery and jelly-like toys. I also recommend that you avoid toys with artificial scent and dyes.  They’ve been known to trigger allergic reactions in some people.

I believe that if you buy quality you are more likely to get quality.  Consider hypoallergenic materials, such as silicone, wood, glass and aluminum.  They are more expensive, but worth it.   Then again, you could always use a condom on any insertable, or less expensive toy of questionable material.  The problem with this is, condoms are not biodegradable and they’re expensive.  By the time you factor in the cost of condoms for every toy use, you’ll actually be spending more per diddle than if you bought quality from the get-go.

Remember the more information you have, the wiser a consumer you will be.

Good luck ya’ll

fitzsimmons_AZdailystar

Ashley Lister Returns — Podcast #138 — 07/13/09

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with the brilliant Ashley Lister, the prolific UK author, poet and educator. elec2 017 This is Part 2 of our chat for The Erotic Mind
podcast series. Where we converse with noted erotic artists of every stripe in an effort to uncover something of the creative process involved in this specialized art form.

Did you somehow miss Part 1?  Alrighty then!  You’ll just have to look for last week’s podcast #136 on my Podcast Page.  You’ll find a tab for that page at the top of DDSA.com.  Or you can use my site’s search function.  Simply type in Podcast #136 and presto!  But don’t forget the # sign.

For more of Ashley, be sure to visit his site HERE!

Ashley and I discuss:

  • The power of words to describe as well as to startle.
  • Who is his target audience.
  • What distinguishes erotica from porn.
  • How reading erotica makes us more aware of sexual possibilities.
  • The therapeutic nature of erotica.
  • What he looks for in the erotic art of others.
  • Advice for the novice writer of erotica.

As a special treat, Ashley will read from his nonfiction work, Swingers: Female Confidential.

(click on the thumbnails below to get more information about these volumes)

ofb swing Wicked yesMa'am yesSir

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Debra Christina Darling – Podcast #135 – 07/01/09

Hey sex fans,

Debra & Karen

And now for something completely different.  Ya’ll know how through this Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast series, we’ve been looking at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative sexual lifestyles, right?  And how we’ve been chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world, right?

Well then, today we take another walk on the wild side.  I bring you Part 1 of my conversation with a true original.  My guest is the one and only Debra Christina Darling

Debra self-identifies as a straight drag queen.  That’s right you heard me; he’s a straight man who crossdresses, and has done so for most of his life.  But what’s so special about that?  Lots of straight men crossdress.  This is true!  But few are as “out there” and as willing to challenge some of the popular notions of sex and gender held by both those inside, and outside, the crossdressing community.  I can assure you sex fans, Debra has balls and the attitude to match; thus the drag queen designation, don’t cha know.

You won’t want to miss a minute of this exceptional discussion!

Debra and I discuss:

  • Crossdressing vs. transvestism.
  • Her own personal journey and her activism.
  • Famous crossdressers in history.
  • Reasons why people crossdress, and the challenges.
  • The sexual charge of gender specific clothing.
  • Common myths of crossdressing.
  • Advice for parents of crossdressing kids.
  • Male crossdressing / female crossdressing, the double standard.

Debra shares with us several crossdressing resources and invites you to check them out.  The Esprit Conference, Karen Williams’ site, The Emerald City and The Ingersoll Center.

See a slideshow of current and historical crossdressers.

Click on the thumbnails below.

[nggallery id=30]

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by:  Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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