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Whoa Daddy!

Name: Kirk
Gender: Male
Age:
Location: Belfast
I think my dad is sexy and want to fuck him but am scared to ask! I also fancy my best friend and every time he stays over with me I fantasize sucking his cock and fucking him hard what do I do?

My you’re a randy little bugger, huh Kirk? I see you didn’t include your age when you wrote me. so I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess you’re still a lad.

First off, I want to direct your attention to the advice I gave a young man named Jaymie earlier this month. You will find that column HERE! I want you to read this because my words to him apply to you as well. Particularly in terms of your desire to suck your best friend’s cock and fucking him hard. You’re such a charmer!

Second, you should know that you follow in a very long line of gay men who have and do fantasize about boning their hunky dads. This is all very natural and it provides a wealth of extremely tantalizing mental material for our wank sessions. And that, my friend, is where this oughta stay.

Incest, and that’s what we’re talking about, is taboo. And it’s taboo for several really good reasons. The most devastating thing about incest is the secrecy that must surround it. No one violates this universal taboo in the open. The secrecy and the inevitable shame and guilt when found out will, sure as shootin’, destroy a family dynamic. Your old man will know this even if you haven’t grasped this yet yourself.

At the same time, it would be foolish to deny that sexual and erotic tensions often swirl around a family dynamic. It’s unavoidable. A father’s love for his children, a mother’s love for her children can and sometimes does develop an erotic component. A son’s love for his parents, a daughter’s love for her parents can morph into a powerful sexual desire. But like I said, crossing the line from longing to actuality is a loaded gun aimed at the heart of the family. Your dad’s parental responsibilities to you must trump any eroticism he may have toward you. You, on the other hand, have a responsibility to your father not make his job any more difficult than it is.

Here’s the thing, part of being a parent to a teenager is acknowledging and allowing for the teen to practice his or her seduction skills inside the family unit. Girls harmlessly flirt with their fathers and compete with their mothers. Boys harmlessly flirt with their mothers and compete with their fathers. And sometimes this happens toward the same-sex parent too — boys toward their fathers and girls toward their mothers. The adults need to take all of this in stride. They have to believe the flirtation is harmless so they can provide their children with the proper non-seductive environment for their maturation to occur. If the flirting crosses the line into full-on, for real seduction the unspoken agreement between parents and children is shattered. And there will be hell to pay.

The same is true in the reverse. A child must have the confidence that as they mature and develop their sexual identity, they will not unwittingly become the object of their parent’s seduction or worse their predation.

Of course, Kirk, there’s the distinct possibility that your old man doesn’t share your sexual predilections. And coming on to him could easily destroy whatever bond you may share. In fact, your disclosure could easily backfire into a violent response. Your dad could easily knock your block off.

Here’s a tip: if you absolutely must confess or confide your attraction, save it for when you are old enough to have moved out of your parent’s house. That way some of the sting will have gone out of revelation because the family dynamic will have changed. But you can be sure the awkwardness will continue.

Good luck

I’d like to remind you of the toll-free Lick-A-Dee-Split sex advice podcast VOICEMAIL HOTLINE at 866-422-5680. Got a question or a comment? Want to rant or rave for a bit. Or maybe you just gotta talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest and give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

Desperate measures

Name: Jake
Gender:  Male
Age: 18
Location: London
I have never had sex mostly because I have never managed to approach the person. I am bisexual and am desperate to have sex with a guy or girl. What are the best ways to approach someone for sex?

Never managed to approach a person for sex? Are you just shy, or are you a total geek? Either way, my friend, you gotta get over yourself if you ever hope to get laid.

Ok, so you’re just 18 without a lot of experience in the ways of the world. Here’s what I tell everyone who asks me this question, regardless of age or gender. When it comes to asking for sex, I think the direct approach works best. Just so long as you’re not gonna be a dick about it. If you haven’t already discovered, baggin’ a chick will probably take a bit more finesse than pokin’ on a bloke. And coming on to a mate will take a different approach than hittin’ up a stranger for a shag.

If there’s a bit of charm about you, your task will be considerably easier than if you are some crude Neanderthal who just wants to notch his belt. If you’re not sure what your selling points are, ask a friend for his or her feedback. If he or she tells you nice things bout yourself, you might be in luck. If he or she tells you that you’re a charmless creep, you’ll have your work cut out for you.

Regardless what group you fall into — the “maybe fuckable”, or the “not fucking ever,” you can always improve your image and hone your unique style. Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free. Dress like you mean to impress. Doesn’t need to be fancy or fussy, just make it look like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself. Make yourself interesting, have a point of view, but share it sparingly. Have a sense of humor about yourself. If you can’t be clever or witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part.

The internet is a great place to test the waters. Dating and hook-up sites abound. Put up a profile…with a photo or too. Here’s a tip, save the dick pics for the queer sites. Women don’t want to see your pathetic willie, at least not right away. One thing for sure, there’s nothing more unattractive to most women or men than a desperate fuck. Asking for what you want is good, pleading to be taken out of pity is not!

Few women are as casual about sex as are most men. So if a woman tells you no, she just may be shy, or not ready, or not sure. If a guy tell you no, it’s not the end of the world. He’s probably not into your type. Since there are so many fish in the sea, if you’re immediately not successful, move on. Sometimes getting laid is a situational thing. Being in the right place at the right time is helpful.

Chicks are gonna be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a girl then for a boy. If you’re not well versed on methods of contraception, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both. Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom regardless your partner’s gender.

If you’re dick is hard, it’s not the right time to talk about sex with a woman, but it might be the best time to hit up a dude. Women don’t necessarily like the lean and hungry look. Men tend to groove on it.

There are lots of different ways to have sex, so what might be appealing to one person may not be to another. Hand jobs and/or blow jobs are often more easy to cum by than full-on fucking with both chicks and blokes.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat a prospective partner, regardless of gender, with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure whatever words you use will be more effective than if you’re an uncouth lout.

Good luck

Go ahead, make my day

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and this week we review a great toy for the men folk. And in doing so we welcome a new manufacturer to our review effort, Perfect Fit Brand.

You’ll be hearing more about Perfect Fit Brand in coming weeks, because we have a bunch of their other products to review. But right now let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Glenn & Hank, for the lowdown on the toy they have

Fat Boy Cock Sheath —— $41.56

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “Damn! The fuckin’ Fat Boy Cock Sheath is about the hottest fuckin’ sex toy I’ve had the pleasure to use in just about fuckin’ ever.”
Hank: “As you can see, Glenn is being his usual articulate self. How many times can you use ‘fuckin’’ in one sentence?”
Glenn: “I’m simply being expressive in the best way I know how. So sue me, why don’t cha?”
Hank: “Don’t get me wrong; I’m totally with you on this. The Fat Boy Cock Sheath is as you say, fuckin’ amazing.”
Glenn: “Ok, so here’s the 411 on this product. The Fat Boy Cock Sheath is…well for lack of a better term, a sheath that fits snuggly around your boner. It is made of this revolutionary material called SilaSkin. Apparently it’s a proprietary blend of silicone and TPR (thermoplastic rubber). It is unbelievably stretchy and irresistibly soft. And it come in both black and clear.”
Hank: “We’ve tried other masturbation sleeves that are made of super squishy materials, like this, and we wound up tossing them in the trash after just a couple uses. While we love the softness and pliability, the trouble with most ‘skin-like’ materials is, they are also super porous and nearly impossible to clean. Of course you have to clean it after every use, but you also have to powder it to keep it from getting so tacky that you can’t use it again. It’s a fuckin’ hassle, I tell you.”
Glenn: “I admit, when Dr Dick offered us Fat Boy Cock Sheath to review, I just rolled my eyes. I was expecting the same song and dance as what Hank just described. I was actually going to demurely decline Dr Dick’s invitation until I open the plastic packaging. I did this because all the other ‘skin-like’ materials we’ve tried smelled horrible. It’s the disgusting off gas that is a byproduct of the manufacturing process. And ya know what? All the other skin-like materials are loaded with phthalates, which, if you’ve been paying attention to the reviews on this site is a definite no-no when it comes to sex toys. Phthalates are the cancer-producing chemicals that are used to make rubber and latex supper soft and pliable.”
Hank: “Yep, I’ll pass on the phthalates, if ya don’t mind. Anyhow, where Glenn was going with all of that is when you open the Fat Boy Cock Sheath packaging there is no discernible odor. There is no off-gas, because it is phthalate-free! Once we got wind of this, no pun intended, we couldn’t wait to get home and try this puppy out.”
Glenn: “Those of you who follow our reviews know that I am an insatiable bottom.”
Hank: “That’s an understatement, but please go on.”
Glenn: “Everyone’s a fuckin’ critic. What I was about to say is that I generously allowed Hank to use the Fat Boy Cock Sheath first. I simply stripped down to my jockstrap and climbed into our brand new sling.”
Hank: “Isn’t he generous? He allowed me first use of the Fat Boy Cock Sheath. Truth is he was gonna get the better part of this toy and he knew it. So ok, I have a big dick and I know how to use it. But slipping this sheath over my hog was fantastic. I dribbled some lube inside the sheath then squished it around. By the way, the inside of the sheath is ribbed and bubbled for my pleasure. We only used water-based lube to begin with; because we thought silicone-based lube would mar the silicone of the sheath. We learned later that we could have used whatever type of lube we wanted. Very cool!”
Glenn: “I watched with anticipation as Hank readied his cock. I gotta tell you the visuals were stunning. Oh, I should point out that there is a smaller hole in the base of the Fat Boy Cock Sheath through which you pull your balls. The material is real stretchy; so don’t worry about getting your boys through the hole.”
Hank: “Despite being hard as a rock from the get go, I started slipping and sliding the sheath over my dick. It felt fantastic! I swear I could have blown my load right then and there.”
Glenn: “But he didn’t. Because it was time to punish my asshole and I was all ready for him. I’m proud to say that I can take Hank’s thick 9-incher with relative ease. It’s taken years of practice, but I can do it. The Fat Boy Cock Sheath made his unit scary big and the task all that more daunting. But here’s the thing, the super soft and stretchy SilaSkin added to my pleasure, but didn’t chafe my hole like some of the bigger toys we use.”
Hank: “Speaking of pleasure, I was lovin’ both what was happening to my cock and what I could see what happening to Glenn’s hole. What a sight! My cock, encased in the Fat Boy Cock Sheath, slid in and out of Glenn’s lubed up hole with ease. I was sending him to paradise and I knew it. The squishy sound my dick made inside the sheath added to our piggy play.”
Glenn: “I knew Hank was close to bustin’ his nut so I held on for dear life. With one last thrust he was spent. But I was still ready to go.”
Hank: “A little quick thinking on my part brought Glenn to an explosive finish too. I simply slipped my softening dick from the Fat Boy Cock Sheath and replaced it with one of our beautiful glass dildos. Glenn loves the hardness of the glass, but it never seemed to fill him up. But now the sheath did just that.”
Glenn: “It was fantastic! I was yankin’ on my chub while Hank had a hold of my nuts and rammed the dildo home. I spewed so much spunk I thought it was time to notify the next of kin.”
Hank: “When the fuckfest was over, clean up was a snap. My nut was still in the tip of the Fat Boy Cock Sheath along with a mess of lube, but some warm water and mild soap took care of the whole thing. Cleaning it is easy because the SilaSkin material is nonporous and so stretchy you can actually turn the blasted thing inside out. And once thoroughly dry the sheath isn’t the least bit tacky. This product gets my highest rating.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Great Balls of Fire!

Name: Owen
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Location: Sydney
I got a penis pump as gag gift for my last birthday. We all got a good laugh when I open the package with all my friends sitting around. I put it away thinking I would never use such a thing, mostly because I didn’t know how to use it. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I was bored and while rummaging through my closet I came up with the pump. I decided to figure out how it worked. It was great fun, but I would never tell anyone about this. On a whim I decided to put my balls in the pump because I am really into ball play. I discovered that I liked this even more than I liked the pump on my cock. I don’t know who else to ask, so here goes. Is ball pumping dangerous?

You are such a clever lad, Owen. See, what they say about idle hands being the devils workshop is true, huh?

Actually, guys have been stretching their balls for just about as long as us men folk have had balls to stretch…and that’s a mighty long time. The only thing that screams male virility and potency as much as a big dick is a pair of big low hangin’ nuts. In fact in many societies throughout history a man’s cajones were considered sacred. They were revered as objects of religious, social, cultural and even magical power. In fact in ancient Rome, when a man would take an oath he would grab his balls, just like we put our hand on a bible today. In fact, that’s where we got the word, “testify”, from the Latin: testis.

Men discovered early on that ball stretching was both erotic fun and relatively easy to do. Just to clarify…when I say ball stretching, what I really mean is sack (scrotum) stretching. One cannot really increase the size of his balls (testicles). Soon men in many societies were stretching their junk to call attention to their manliness. With the help of a stretching device of one sort or another, and there are several, men were able to lengthen their balls with very little effort.

So, you’ve discovered the joys of ball stretching using your penis pump, huh? You are not alone. This is a very popular fetish/pastime. Since you already know that your balls are sensitive to touch, pressure and temperature let’s spend a minute getting acquainted with what we have hanging between our legs.

Your family jewels, formally called “testes” are nestled within your nutsack, formally called a “scrotum”. Your two gonads (some guys are born with just one) are your male reproductive organs. They’re kinda oval shaped and are, on average, 1 3/4″ long by 1” wide. Each ball resides in its own independent sac. Your left nut probably hangs lower in its sac than the right one. This is nature’s way of keeping them from banging into one another all the time.

Your ‘nads produce the male hormone, testosterone, and also produce sperm cells. Each one has a number of small tubes attached to it called the epididymides. There’s another tube attached to each ball called the vas deferens (the chord). The vas deferens carry your sperm cells to the prostate gland where the sperm is mixed with seminal fluid. And when the time comes, the whole mess comes shootin’ our your johnson as spooge.

Why not take a minute to carefully fondle one of your balls. If you can picture in your mind’s eye the anatomy of your testicle while you’re groping around down there, you can actually feel the difference between the epididymides and the vas deferens. If you’re not familiar with your testicular anatomy, search the internets for a visual aid, like a nice diagram. These diagrams are not hard to find. Even this gentle non-erotic probing feels way good, huh? No wonder having someone suck on our nuts can drive us boys wild. But I digress.

We’ll get to your questions about ball pumping safety in a minute, Owen. But before we do, I’d like to take this opportunity to look at alternative means of ball stretching for all those in my audience who would like to experiment, but don’t have a pump.

The first method is the simplest and you don’t even need no stinkin’ equipment. Let’s call this the manual method. All ya do is give your huevos a nice sustained tug. Alternate your tugging with some nice ball massage. Over time this will help to lengthen you ball sack because you’re manually forcing it downward. The more you pull and the longer you pull, the more you will affect the hang of your balls. This method is particularly effective after a hot bath or shower. Your skin will be at its most pliable then. This method is safe and effective and even a rank amateur can pull it off, so to speak. You’re not gonna see a lot of results immediately, but your patience will pay off. Listen, even if your objective is not to get lower hanging balls, this’ll be fun and pleasurable all on its one. It might just get you to pay your balls some attention while you’re jerkin off. And that will make both you and your nuts much happier.

Kicking things up a notch, you can invest in a relatively inexpensive ball stretcher. You’ll find a whole bunch of them in Dr Dick’s Stockroom. The most common type of stretcher is a leather band. There are also Neoprene and metal ones too. Simply put, these little buggers just make a space between your testicles and your body. The thicker the band, the greater the space…obviously! Some of these stretchers come weighted; others allow you to add weights to them. This is probably not advised for the novice stretcher, but you’ll be surprised how much fun this can be. Just have your wits about you when you try this. Too much weight for too long a time can cause serious injury. Make sure you use a lubricant to help reduce chafing during your stretching session. Also if you do use weights, don’t move around when you have them attached. That’s just common sense.

Now to the vacuum pump method. Some guys pump their balls separate from their dick, as apparently you do, Owen. Others pump cock and balls together. There are even specifically designed cylinders to facilitate this. For safety sake, keep your pumping sessions to 10 minutes or less. You can throw in a nice massage session afterward and you’ll be one happy fella. Remember overuse or over-enthusiastic pumping can cause blood vessel damage, bruising and blistering. If you’re lucky enough to have a pressure gage on the device you’re using, always keep the pressure between -5 and –10 in Hg (mercury inches), never more.

Your scrotum is highly elastic, so the lengthening you produce will mostly be temporary, unless you do this on a regular basis. Effects will diminish over a period of 24-48 hours.

Good luck

Lost and Found

Hey sex fans,

We bring you our third and final Romance Series video from New Sensations for today’s edition of Product Review Friday.

But wait, you didn’t miss the two previous reviews we posted, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find them HERE and HERE.  And remember all our adult product reviews, going back 5 years, are archived at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Glenn & Hank, to see what’s on their mind.

Lost and Found —— $18.81

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “I have a little secret. I have a guilty pleasure. I really get off on straight porn. Well some of it anyhow.”
Hank: “He has to keep it a secret, because, if the homo police find out, they’ll take away his homo card.”
Glenn: “You joke, but you know there’s truth in what I say, Hank. Most of our queer friends would never understand my taste for straight porn.”
Hank: “Hey, I don’t know; I’d be wiling to bet that way more gay men dig straight porn then those, like you, who are willing to admit to their guilty pleasure. Nowadays the men in straight porn are way hotter than they used to be. Maybe that’s because a lot of the ‘straight’ male performers are also working as ‘gay-for-pay’ performers in gay porn. So you know for certain that is raising the hunkyness-bar all over the industry.”
Glenn: “On a recent visit to Dr Dick’s I noticed a pile of DVDs on his desk. I asked him; ‘what’s up with all the movies?’ He said, ‘I got them from New Sensations to farm out for review.’ I said, ‘I’d be up for that assignment.’ He said, ‘really? That would be way cool; you know it’s straight porn, right? Then Dr Dick added, ‘I suppose if these movies can pass the gay test, we’ll all know that they are good to go.’ And so that’s how I got Lost and Found to review. Score!”
Hank: “When Glenn is happy, I’m happy. Besides, anything that gets him boned up will eventually lead to me gettin’ a world-class blowjob or me pluggin’ his tight muscular ass. And I almost never argue with that math.”
Glenn: “Ok, I admit, I’m a sex fiend; so sue me already! Lost and Found is the story of a bachelor, David, (Xander Corvus, who is hot, hot, hot!), who wants to jettison the swinger ways and settle down. Imagine his good fortune when the gal of his dreams, Jen (Allie Haze, who is so adorable!) moves in next door with her little dog. This is a sweet romance about a man, a woman and the little dog that brought them together by nearly tearing them apart. Fuckin’ charming, huh?”
Hank: “It is very charming, but it’s sexy as hell too. I walked in on Glenn watching the DVD and thought he was watching some Hollywood romcom. I was just about to turn heal and run when this chick starts blowin’ this dude. And damn, she sure looked like she knew what she was doin’. Most of the women I see in straight porn aren’t very good cocksuckers. They look at the dick in their hand and you can see it in their face, they’d much rather be in Cleveland.”
Glenn: “Hank says that a lot of the guys in gay porn don’t know how to suck dick either. He’s right! It’s pathetic, I tell you. Cocksucking is a lost art. I also want to comment on something else Hank said. The production values of Lost and Found are first class. Everything from the box art to the movie’s audio track is topnotch. It could have easily come from one of the major Hollywood studios…except it has all this really hot girl on guy sex. And here’s the real kicker; all the dudes wear condoms in this flick. Fuckin’ A! I wish more straight porn producers did that.”
Hank: “You can also tell that this movie has its female audience in mind. I don’t mean to suggest that they soft sell the sex; they don’t. But it is respectful of women. Call me old fashioned; but I hate it when I see a woman being degraded in a porno. It’s such a turn off. No wonder most women aren’t into video smut. BTW, Xander Corvus is super fine! He has a sweet face, a nice body, a big old dick, but he shaves his pubes. I guess three out of four ain’t too shabby!”
Glenn: “Lost and Found has four really great sex scenes. All the characters are very attractive and likeable, but they’re also still believable. There’s not a porn stereotype in the bunch. The sex is vanilla, but there’s real chemistry between the performers. There’s loads and loads of kissing too. And the non-sex acting is amazingly good.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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