Search Results: Much Ado About Very Little

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Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me…

Name: John
Gender:  Male
Age: 16
Location: San Diego
My dick is kinda small.  I want to add 3-5 inches.  How do I do that?

Jeez, this is just about my least favorite topic of all.  I keep promising myself that I won’t small_cock1respond to anymore “how do I grow my dick bigger?” questions.  And then along comes a young pup, like you John, and asks the question again.  Here’s a tip, everything I have to say about cock enlargement schemes I’ve already said.  If you want to know my thoughts about this wearisome topic scroll use my site’s search function in the sidebar to your right.  Search with key words like “cock shape”, “cock size” and “jelqing”.  Once you read through all columns and listen to the podcasts you will have all the information you seek.

Here’s a bit of an overview of what you’ll find.  First, you’re not even completely through puberty yet, John.  So if you could just chill out for a couple more years till your growing spurt is complete, you might find that nature itself will resolve your issue for you.  If, by chance, you find that by your 18th birthday your cock is no bigger than it currently is, then it’s time to make your peace with your piece.  Because basically that’s the dick you’re gonna have to work with for the rest of your life.

In other words, you have about as much chance of growing a bigger dick than what your genetics has determined for you as you do growing your feet bigger or adding inches to your height or changing the color of your skin.  It’s simply not gonna happen.  There is no true way of safely increasing either the width or the length of your johnson, short of a small_cock3surgical intervention. And I never recommend that.

Just like there are ways to give the illusion of bigger feet, darker or lighter skin or being taller than you really are, there are things you can do to create the illusion that you’re growin’ yourself a bigger dick.  But all the creams, the jelqing, the pumps, the weights the what-have-you, will only have a short-term effect if they have any effect at all.  In the end you will have spent a whole lot of money, wasted a lot of time, been consumed with a great deal of anxiety and possibly even injured yourself to wind up having what you’ve always had and not significantly more.

May I suggest that you practice accepting what genetics has determined for you in terms of cock size and everything else.  Because that will give you more time and energy to learn how to use what you have to its greatest benefit.  Luckily, our capacity to be a good, and even great, lover has nothing to do with the size of our cock.  Anyone who tries to tell you different is pullin’ your leg.

Name: Laurel
Gender: female
Age: 42
Location: San Francisco
My best friend, someone I truly love, has been really getting into S&M lately.  Some weeks ago she told me she now has a full-time slave.  She says it’s a lifestyle thing, but I still don’t get it.  The problem I have is that this isn’t a private thing between her and this guy. She parades it around and treats him like a slave 24 hours a day.  I find this really disturbing and it’s like she does this just to annoy me.  My husband and I are complete equals in every way.  I can’t get comfortable watching my friend humiliate and degrade someone like this.  My friend says I should just quit being so uptight.  Is this really just a question of me being closed-minded?  Or is there something radically wrong with someone wanting to humiliate and degrade someone else?

How did your best friend’s lifestyle choices, whatever they might be, suddenly become all about you?  If you really cared for this person as much as you say you do, or better yet, as much as you care for yourself and your delicate sensitivities you’d try to look beyond your superficial appreciation of what’s going on with your friend and her slave.

fem-domYou say your problem with your friend is that she doesn’t keep her perversion private; rather she and her man slave “parade around” 24hr a day.  What, you’d prefer she be a dilettante kinkster? Hell I give her credit for taking this thing seriously.  So many others compartmentalize their lives — this is me for my family and friends — this is me for playmates — and this over here is my secret me.

As to your friend, I doubt that she gives a flying fuck if her public antics annoy you.  In fact, that may very well be why she does it.  Let’s try and look at this as dispassionately as possible.  Your friend, by being so public with her kink, has entered the realm of political and sexual theater.  That is not in any way meant to diminish her commitment to her lifestyle.  On the contrary, only someone who is totally into this would have the fortitude to constantly poke a finger in the eye of polite society.  She has a message for you and us. And I suspect that it has something to do with the unfortunate sex-role stereotyping and stultifying gender conventions that plague our buttoned down society.  But best you get that directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

I have no way of knowing why your friend does what she does, but she belongs to a very long and venerable tradition of flying in the face of the popular culture.  Sure she risks being cut off by you and ostracized by others.  And that has to hurt on some level even for those way out on the fringe.  Like all political theatrics she draws you into her world, albeit as an unwilling participant. Humiliating her slave in front of squeamish folks, like you, who don’t share her kink is asking for more than tolerance that’s for sure.  One could make the case that her behavior is foolhardy and counterproductive.  What’s for certain is she’s walking a fine line between performance art and alienation.  In the end, Laurel, you may find that it is you who will need to set the boundaries.slave

And I don’t think this is simply a question of you being too up tight.  But I fear that you are using a conventional mindset to try and decipher these very interesting goings on.  That’s simply not gonna work.  Like I said earlier, she’s being this public about what most people, including yourself, think should be private because she wants to make a statement.  I suspect your conventional mindset doesn’t know what to make of consensual power-play, which is precisely what this is.

You point out that you would never humiliate your husband like this.  No kidding?  Of course you and hubby aren’t engaged in consensual power-play, are you?  Because if you were, you’d understand your friend a whole lot better, even if you still disapproved of her public performances.

If you find your friend’s lifestyle so disturbing, you could simply ask her to chill the scene when you’re around.  She may or may not comply.  Another solution might be that you ask her for some alone time, just she and you, without her slave.  Hell, even a slave get a day off from time to time.  Again she may or may not comply.  If no arrangement can be made, then perhaps it’s time to part ways.  Hopefully you guys could do that with as little acrimony as possible.  There’s no need to burn bridges over this.  Who knows this might be a phase she’s going through…ya know trying to show everyone how edgy she is.  In time she might very well find that the fringe is not all that comfortable and decide to keep her kink more to herself.

Name: Jack
Gender:
Age: 52
Location: Milwaukee
I’ve been dating this guy for over a year.  He is the love of my life.  I love him so much, but he treats me like shit.  I met him on vacation in Florida.  He’s 26 a stunning, 6’3” 200lbs, blond surfer Adonis.  And excuse me for being so graphic; he has the biggest dick I’d ever seen.  The first time we had sex I saw stars.  He filled me up like no other person has.
When I got home we exchanged emails nearly every day and even had some hot phone sex a couple of times.  He was down on his luck, because he lost his barista job for coming to work stoned too many times.  I know I shouldn’t have, but I invited him to come live with me.  I flew him up, but I told him that this wouldn’t be a free ride, he’d have to stop smoking so much dope and get a job and he agreed.
The sex was fantastic for the first couple of months, but once he established himself as a star at the gym he found his own friends and now I don’t see too much of him.  He eats my food and drinks my liquor and drives my car.  I pay for his cloths and gym membership.  He has yet to find a job.
I know I should just end it, but I love him and I would really miss the sex.  My friends ridicule me for thinking he loves me as much as I love him.  They tell me they know he sees other guys.  I’m so turned around I don’t know what to do.

Like my momma always used to say:  if it’s got wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have problems with it.  And I would add, if it’s got big wheels or a big dick you know you’re gonna have BIG problems with it.

Before we turn our attention to your no good boyfriend, let me make a few quick hot guyobservations about you.  You’re a freakin’ mess, girlfriend! I mean really, you’ve broken all the cardinal rules about dating a hustler.  I know, I can hear you now…oh no dr dick, he’s not a hustler; he’s a good kid who’s just down on his luck and I’m just trying to help.  Bullshit!

Ya see, that’s the first cardinal rule of dating a hustler is never lose sight of the fact that he’s a hustler and you’re his john.  Don’t get me wrong; I have the deepest admiration for hustlers and their johns.  It’s just that this arrangement only works if everyone is clear about the ground rules.   And here are the ground rules — rich older gentleman connects with needy younger hunky stud for mutual benefit.  Rich older gentleman keeps needy younger hunky stud in room and board, booze, cloths, car, gym membership and the like; and needy younger hunky stud buggers rich older gentleman senseless with his big blond surfer-boy dick.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!

Second cardinal rule — what happens on vacation should stay on vacation.  Vacation sex, as wonderful and delicious as it may be, does not transplant very well to your non-vacation life.  You’re more likely to have success transplanting a delicate tropical orchid to your Milwaukee backyard than transplanting a vacation hustler fuck to your work-a-day world back home.

Third cardinal rule —don’t try to gloss a perfectly fine, fully functional and even an affectionate hustler/john relationship with talk of love.  It’s unnecessary, unseemly and untrue.  It’s lust, it’s limerence, it’s love sickness, whatever…it’s just not love.  Because LOVE don’t ever make you feel as bad as you’re feelin’.  Probably your friends would have less difficulty with your mooning over this guy if you were more honest about the nature of this relationship.  They wouldn’t be rubbing your face in the evidence that surfer-boy is pluggin’ other dudes.

Fourth cardinal rule — a size queen, like you Jack, should admit that you are enamored with the guy hose and how it fills you up plain and simple.  To pretend that you would string yourself out like this for a guy with tiny meat is just that — pretense.  Listen, there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ a size queen, it’s the dishonesty I object to.

How is this young fella ever supposed to respect you when you don’t respect for yourself?  He probably had you pegged (no pun intended) back on the beach in the sunshine state. He knows you will tolerate his misbehavior, which of course gives him permission to do whatever he feels like doing whenever he feel like doing it.  And now he don’t even have to give up the occasional mercy fuck any more, even though that was surely part of the deal at the get go, right?

So the waif has yet to find a job after a year, huh?  Why is that not surprising?  But even a hustler needs his mad money, besides what is doled out to him by his long-suffering john.  I’d be willing to guess Mr. surfer dude is turning tricks to keep himself in weed and other essentials.

hot_guy2Thing is, this fellow probably would have treated you better if you would have just stuck to the hustler/john script.  Ya see, kids like this need structure.  He may have looked to you for this at one time, but when he realized that he had you cock-whipped, the teachable moment evaporated.  This lad is probably like most other boys with big dicks.  They learn early on that their cock gives them enormous power, because it is the object of desire for so many.  He soon discovered that you were no different than all the other men (and some women) in his life — only interested in owning a piece of his sizeable endowment.  And so he turned the tables on you.  You can hardly fault the guy.  You try to manipulate him with your money.  He outwits you and manipulates you with his dick.

If you’re really serious about reining in the little monkey, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate.  And it better be something more than “I expect you to bone my scrawny middle-aged ass on occasion.” Because, until you do, he will roam wherever and whenever he wants.

There are many root causes for his behavior, just like there are many root causes for your behavior.  But since I’m talking to you, not him, I suggest that you get to the bottom of all of this by investing a good deal of time and energy with a competent sex-positive therapist. There’s one thing I can say for certain, if the status quo continues your resentment will boil over one day and there will be violence, the kind of violence that you may not think yourself capable of now.  But violence there will be; you can bank on it!

Is there enough goodwill between the two of you to resolve this unfortunate situation amicably?  Who knows!  If I had to guess, I’d say there was a slim to no chance for that.  If that’s the case, I advise you pack him up and put him on the next plane south.  And no more relationships for you, particularly with unemployed young men with massive schlongs, till you get your head screwed on tighter.

Good Luck Ya’ll

Gee Wiz!

The Dr Dick Review Crew has taken on a new assignment.  We’ve been invited to participate in a new program sponsored by our friends at Good Vibrations. We are now officially A Brand Ambassador.  So smell us, why don’t cha!

As A Brand Ambassador, Good Vibes sends us toys, and we review them; just like we do with all the other products we receive directly form manufacturers and feature on Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

Our first assignment is the G-TWIST.  It’s actually a Fun Factory toy created exclusively for Good Vibrations.  We really liked the one other Fun Factory toy we reviewed, SHARE.  So needless to say, there were a bunch of the Review Crew who were eager to put this toy through it’s paces.  Angie won the lottery and so she will tell you all about G-TWIST.
G-TWIST —— $64.00

Angie

I was so excited to be chosen to review this toy. I’ve wanted to try a Fun Factory toy for ages. I’ve seen their beautiful toys in the shops and online for years now.

First, I want to compliment Good Vibrations on the modest yet stylish packaging they 12AH85_01chose for G-TWIST. It’s attractive without being overbearing. I really don’t like excessive packaging; it all seems so wasteful.

I was delighted to find that G-TWIST comes with two AA batteries. This is such a thoughtful addition to any battery-operated toy; I simply don’t understand why more manufacturers don’t do likewise. Good Vibrations also includes a small sample package of water-based lube with their toy. This is, of course, the only kind of lube to use with a beautiful silicone toy like this.

Once out of the package, the G-TWIST is beautiful to the touch. It’s soft, warm and very flexible. It is made of medical grade silicone, which makes it hypoallergenic and easy to clean. That’s because silicone is non-porous. I really like that feature. Too many toys nowadays are made with questionable materials that it makes one nervous about using them intimately. There’s nothing like that to worry about with this vibrator.

The G-TWIST has a lovely ergonomic form. However, it also has a realistic penis shape, particularly at the head. When choosing a vibrator for myself, I inevitably avoid ones that have a penis shape. You see I like incorporating a vibrator in the sex I have with my husband. He is less likely to welcome a mechanical device if it looks too much like his own equipment, if you know what I mean. And listen, I don’t blame him. If the reverse were to happen; if he were to bring a masturbation toy that looked like a vagina to bed for our sex together, I wouldn’t like it very much either. So I had to reserve my G-TWIST use for my private pleasuring.

But before I could do any pleasuring of any kind I had to insert the batteries. This became an extremely frustrating chore. For the life of me, I couldn’t open the battery compartment. I read the instructions carefully, of course, but still couldn’t open it. I finally took it to my husband. At first he just laughed thinking it was a girl thing. But after struggling with it himself, he lost his sense of humor right quick. He finally got the compartment open, but not before exerting considerable pressure with his fingertips. Whoever designed this certainly wasn’t thinking of how much strength the average woman might have in her hands and fingers.

Now that the batteries are finally in place I can easily adjust the vibration up or down using the flower-shaped dial on the base. Pretty nifty! The motor is exceptionally quite, which I really appreciate.

I like a little texture to my insertables, but the ridges on the G-TWIST were a bit extreme for me. However, the girth (1.5” diameter) is just about perfect. I particularly like the flared base. The ridges there are perfect for clitoral stimulation. The vibration isn’t particularly strong, but that’s not a big issue for me.

My major concern was with the clean up. This toy is not, I repeat, NOT waterproof. The box says that you can clean this toy under running water, but one must make sure to keep the battery compartment closed and dry. It goes on to say, “To prevent possible leakage simply avoid submerging the toy in water for an extended period of time.” I’m afraid that this smacks of trying to have it both ways. You can call it splash proof or water resistant, but we all know that’s a far cry from actually being waterproof. As it turns out, it’s a whole lot easier to get water inside the battery compartment than it is to open that compartment to switch out the batteries. That I just don’t understand.

I successfully enjoyed my G-TWIST, by myself for two weeks. I was scrupulous about cleaning my toy without submerging it in water. After about 8 uses the G-TWIST simply stopped working. At first I thought it was the batteries. My husband helped me open the battery compartment so I could put in fresh batteries. But that didn’t bring it back to life.

Full Review HERE

Great ideas, questionable execution…

We have a couple more Synergy Erotic toys to tell you about.  I can say in advance that the Dr Dick Review Crew is more than a little frustrated.  We see so much potential in this company, but sadly they have yet to hit their stride in consistently producing quality toys.

They are full of very interesting ideas, but their execution leaves a great deal to be desired.  We wondered out loud in a previous review:  “We do, however, have a few words of advice for the Synergy Erotic people.  Why not invest more in the production values of your products and make a name for yourself in terms of quality, not price per unit. We’d be willing to pay considerably more for a vibe, like this, that actually worked as advertised.”

Review Crew members, Madora and Chuck take turns filling us in on these two products.

SILK waterproof vibe                 $17.91

Madora

My first impression of the SILK vibe by Synergy Erotic was that it was adorable, but without being 9972-92disgustingly so.  Mine’s lavender but it comes in pink too.  I was impressed by their minimal yet informative packaging.

SILK measures approximately 7.5 x 1.25 inches and has cute flowers “growing” all over it.  The flowers are slightly raised, which adds a bit more texture.  It’s got what they call “infinite vibration”, it’s waterproof, multi-speed, phthalate free, and runs on 2 AA batteries, which are not included.  Bad luck for that!

The first time I used the SILK vibe I turned the ring to turn the vibration on and it just kept turning.  Broken already!  I mean REALLY!  The very first use and it’s broken.  So unfortunately I had to totally screw the top on and off every time I want to use it.  But even this didn’t always work.  I had a devil of a time turning it on. (Which isn’t good thing when I’m already turned on!)

SILK has some potential.  I think it’s cute and it is flexy and kinda squishy in parts but not so much that you couldn’t use it properly.  I found I was able to slip it in my bum without much pain because it has such nice give to it. (I can’t do that with other harder toys).  It’s got a pretty good-sized vibrating egg in the tip, but it doesn’t really conduct a lot of the vibrations through the rest of the shaft.

Full review HERE

Beer Babe Vagina Precious Pink $20.94

Chuck

This here is the Beer Babe Vagina in what they call Precious Pink. It also comes in, god help us, Raunchy Red.

I’m gay! So right off the bat, the promotional pitch for this product didn’t appeal to me. Seems to me Synergy SYN1700002_1Erotic is needlessly eliminating a whole bunch of potential queer customers with this approach, but that’s just me. I do love a good masturbating sleeve. So even if it looks like a cunt, I won’t hold that against it. I mean once I get goin, I’m not gonna notice the configuration of the orifice.

The Beer Babe gets high marks for creativity. I mean besides it looking like a bottle of beer, the copy on the label is a hoot. “Superb Jackability” on the front. And on the back: “Prolonged use of this item may cause pleasure, stimulation and finally ejaculation! Use of suitable water-based lubricants and appropriate visual ages is highly recommended. Deposit Required!”

It says that it’s 9” fleshy inches. But that’s simply not true. The whole bottle is 9 inches. And no one’s dick, least of all mine, would fit in the bottle’s neck. Besides, the “fleshy” insert is only 6 inches. And while that might suit most guys; if you got anything over a 6 inch boner, the head of your dick is gonna get jammed up against the tapering neck of the bottle. OUCH!

Vigorous thrusting, the kind I like, will also dislodge the fleshy insert from the hard plastic bottle. This is frustrating in the extreme.

When I first took this thing from its packaging and opened the base to look inside, a wave of noxious fumes came from within. WTF? I mentioned this to Dr Dick and he said that’s called off-gas. Which is a nasty by-product of manufacturing. I wasn’t about to stick my dick in there till I eliminated the smell. I soaked the entire unit, inside and out, in hot soapy water first, to rid it of the smell.

After only one attempt at squeezing one off with the Beer Babe ; I gave up. Like I said, the insert kept separating from the bottle shaped holder.

Full review HERE

Slip Slidin’ Away

Three lucky members of the Dr Dick Review Crew have been having a gay old time with the new signature line of personal lubricants.

These particular lubes come from the good folks at Fleshlight and FleshJack.

We’re all pretty ga-ga about the fleshlight products here at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.  (Check out my review of the granddaddy of male masturbation toys HERE!)

So it comes as no surprise that these wizards have developed their own line of water-based lubes to go with their fine products, or that can be used on their own.

Today we welcome a new Review Crew Member, Madora.  She joins Ken and Dixie, who introduce us to the new lubes.

Fleshlube Elements Pack $24.95large_1441

This Package Includes:
– 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Water
– 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Fire
– 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Ice

Fleshlube WATER

 

Madora

What can I say?  There’s nothing I don’t love about Fleshlube WATER by the makers of the Fleshlight.  It’s super smooth, weightless, light, it’s water based so it’s safe to use with my favorite silicone vibes.  One of my favorite parts about it is that you use a little and then you just completely forget you’re using lube, it’s so natural feeling.

I’m not into putting tons of chemicals on my private parts so the fact that it’s got only five ingredients makes me terribly happy.  The main ingredient is Purified water and it actually contains honeysuckle extract.  Is it just me, or is honeysuckle an incredibly sexy word?  Either way it fits right in.fleshlube_water_2

So far I’ve only used it solo cause, well, I’m single right now and I’m the only one I love enough to get that close to my honeypot.  Feel the love.

Fleshlube WATER is also hypoallergenic so it’s great for people with sensitive skin and it comes in a recyclable plastic bottle with a simple sleek design.  If Fleshlube WATER Lubricant were the only lube I ever used for the rest of my life, I’d be totally fine with that.

Full review HERE!

Now here’s Dixie!

Fleshlube ICE

Dixie
Thanks Madora, and welcome to the Review Crew!

I have to agree with Madora about the attributes of Fleshlube ICE Lubricant; like the WATER lube that she used, mine is also silky smooth and lightweight.  And of course, it’s water based so it’s safe to use with my silicone toys and latex condoms. So hurray for that!  The “ice” or cooling effect is very nice too.  Nothing overpowering, it’s more of a gentle sensation.fleshlube_ice_2

I took a slightly different tact with my review.  I decided to dig deeper into the ingredients of this product.  Madora mentioned honeysuckle extract.  My lube also has honeysuckle extract.  I had never heard of this additive before, so I thought I’d look that up on the interweb tubes.  I discovered that in traditional Chinese medicine, honeysuckle is used to clear heat and toxins from the body.  Recent studies in China found honeysuckle to be effective in reducing inflammation, fever, and infection.  I think that’s really interesting.

Fleshlube ICE also contains glycerin.  This might be a concern to some.  Even though the vast majority of skin care, hair care and other products marketed as “moisturizing”, “hydrating” or “replenishing” use glycerin as one of their main active ingredients. Glycerin draws moisture from the lower layers of the skin and holds it on the surface.  So some claim that basically you rob Peter to pay Paul, as it were

The ICE or cooling agent is: Menthyl Lactate, which is a cooling agent derived from an ester of menthol and lactic acid.  An ester, I discovered, is a compound formed from alcohol and an acid by eliminating the water.  I’m like getting this chemistry lesson along with my pleasuring.

Full review HERE!

Now here’s Ken!

Fleshlube FIRE

Ken

I have the Fleshlube FIRE lube.  I think it’s great.  It does have a nice warming component to it that kicked up my jerk-off session a notch.  It felt really good on my dick and balls, but also on my butthole.  I’m not big on insertions of any sort.  I know, I know, I’m missing out…maybe one of these days.  But still I do like a nice rim job.  And since I can’t rim myself, this Fleshlube FIRE lubricant is the next best thing when I’m by myself.fleshlube_fire_2

I was all excited about turning my partner, Denise, on to Fleshlube FIRE, but she wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as I was.  She has really sensitive skin.  I mean you can just look at her crooked and she breaks out with the heebee jeebees.

Once she had a look at the ingredients she nixed the idea of use on or with her.  She was happy to see the lube was paraben-free.  Apparently parabens can be found in shampoos, commercial moisturizers, shaving gels, cleansing gels, personal lubricants, topical pharmaceuticals and toothpaste. They are also used as food additives in some products.

Denise said that parabens can mimic the hormone estrogen, which is known to play a role in the development of breast cancers. It can also adversely affect the secretion of testosterone and the function of the male reproductive system. That pretty much sold me on avoiding parabens in the future, that’s for damn sure.

The next thing that concerned Denise was the additive:  Propylene Glycol.  I guess this is something like Glycerin, because it works as a hydrating factor, but it too draws moisture from the lower part of the skin to the surface giving only the impression of moisturizing (rather than actually doing it!).

Full review HERE!

Easy Cum, Easy Go

Hey sex fans,

Listen up!

I’m adding this new feature to my Q&A columns.  Whenever possible, I will include in my response a link to a movie in my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY (see the VOD tab at the top of the page?) that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.

Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand.  I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource.  (Click on the images below for viewing information.)

Name: Spencer
Gender:
Age: 37
Location: Ottawa
I am very interested in learning more about prostate massage and milking techniques.  Are you familiar with these things?  Thank you.

I am very familiar with both prostate massage and the fetish commonly known as milking.

But let’s begin with prostate massage, because it is something every guy can practice and enjoy.  I a53342_xlfrecommend all us men folk be prostate aware.  You know I’m a big advocate of frequent prostate self-exam, right?  And I figure while you’re down there rootin’ around in your butt-hole checking for abnormalities, hey spend a little more time and give yourself a nice massage why don’t ‘cha?  Fingers work just fine for this, but an insertable vibrator is…well…out of this world.  Prostate massage is a wonderful way to expand your self-pleasuring repertoire, especially for all you guys out there who only know how to yank on their dick for joy.  And ladies, prostate massage is a great way to play with your male partners.  Perhaps if you signal to your guy that a little butt play can be fun, more straight guys will be less ass-phobic and the world will be a much better place, don’t cha know.

You can feel your prostate gland by inserting a finger a couple of inches or so into your bum.  If you are the least bit aroused your prostate will feel like a smooth rounded flat lump about the size of a large almond. Just in back of and up from your prostate is a smaller triangular wedge shaped nodule that is the bottom portion of your somewhat larger seminal vesicles.  This, by the way, is where most of your jizz is produced and stored. Underneath the seminal vesicles are the ampullae, which are tiny reservoirs for your sperm that will mix with all the other fluids produced by the vesicles and your prostate when you cum.

a73296_xlfAs you become aroused, ejaculatory fluid and sperm accumulate in these glands backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When the fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the muscular contractions of your ejaculation.  This empties the glands and you’ve just shot your wad.

Naturally, if one abstains from ejaculating for a while and prolongs his arousal stage, say like through edging, more fluids will build up, making for a larger load and a more explosive orgasm.

So with that little anatomy lesson behind us, so to speak, we can get back to prostate massage.  Simply insert your well-lubricated middle finger or middle finger and index finger into your butt hole and apply a little pressure.  Slowly massage your prostate.  Doesn’t that feel yummy?  Some men can cum by prostate massage alone.  Hell, you may find that you don’t even need a stiff dick to enjoy an orgasm and/or an ejaculation.

a83370_xlfNow to kink things up a bit we introduce the fetish called milking.  This is mostly a partnered — dom/sub, bondage/discipline — sort of deal.  But a guy can certainly do it on his own if he’d like.  Basically, the object here is to drain and collect the spunk produced.  How it’s collected?  Well that’s is up for grabs.  Ya see there are a zillion variations on the milking theme.  Some practitioners deny the donor the pleasure of an orgasm while collecting his jizz.  Ice packs are placed on a guy’s cock and balls before milking begins.  The spooge will flow through prostate massage and masturbation, but there won’t be much feeling for the donor.

Another interesting twist on milking is to completely restrain and blindfold the donor.  This may include a little (or a lot) of cock and ball torture (CBT) during the milking sessions.  There are even milking machines available, not unlike the contraptions that milk a mother’s breast, for the medical fetishists among us.

There are sadists who revel in denying the donor any sexual release except for his milking sessions.  This is where a male chastity belt will come in mighty handy.  A guy will still need to a71598_xlfhave his balls drained, so to speak, every few weeks in order to avoid him losing his joy juice in a wet dream or when he takes a piss. But with regular prostate milkings, a dude can be deprived of orgasmic release for a long time with no harmful effects.

Those going for volume rather than frequency practice what is known as cum control, which takes edging to a whole new level.   Their objective is to go as long as possible without triggering an orgasm or a wet dream.  Since the pressure of fluid buildup increases with each arousal, the urgency to have an ejaculation also increases.  To deny himself the release is, for some, exquisitely painful.

If you’re still looking for more information on all of this, search them interweb tubes for key words like:  Semen Worship / Orgasm Control / Cum Control / Milking / Edging / Chastity and Cock and Ball Torture.

Name: Shelly
Gender:
Age: 21
Location: Atlanta
How come men are seen as ‘studs’ and women as ‘sluts’ for doing the same things.

Basically darling, that’s because our culture is pretty fucked up — sexually, and in so many other was too.

Despite the progress we’ve made over the last 50 years to liberate ourselves from suffocating 5Blit2oaSplgn264lJN97XCpo1_400sex-role stereotyping and culturally induced gender expectations, we are nowhere near being free and clear of all that crap.

Changing societal attitudes about sex begins with each one of us carving out our own healthy place to celebrate our sexuality.  Carving out that place means we don’t tolerate this or any other kind of double standard bullshit from those around us.  It’s tough standing against the tide of sexual bigotry, but it will make you strong and proud.  Banding together with other like-minded people for support and encouragement is also important.

The biggest danger, of course, is that young, sexually progressive women will, in time, cave to the pressure to conform.  They will begin to internalize the madonna/whore dichotomy that has plagued all of us for millennia and pass it on to yet another generation of vulnerable women.  The risk is always there; so vigilance is the only response.

And all you guys out there who think that this double standard is the way things oughta be.  Think again!  You are not a stud if you cheapen your sexual partners by degrading them; you’re just an asshole.

Name: Brianna
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: San Diego
I’ve been so disturbed about the increasing number of recalled Chinese made products lately — dog food, toothpaste, children’s toys and the like — that I was horrified to discover that most of my sex toys are made in China.  I suppose this is a dumb time to ask, but how safe are sex toys?

That is a real good question, Brianna.  Ya know there was a time when I thought that the greatest hazard to the ardent sex toy consumer was simply all the poorly designed and cheaply a2458_xlfmanufactured crap that floods the marketplace.  But in light of the alarming news of recent months about the safety risks of many products coming from China, I think there is room for concern about the safety of Chinese made sex toys.

I hasten to add that not all Chinese imports are dangerous.  Nor are all products grown or manufactured in the US safe.  But there is a long history of unscrupulous Western companies exploiting the Chinese labor force.  This greed and abuse leads to a dangerous mix that often has dire consequences.

Obviously there is no government regulatory agency out there with a mandate to protect us from unsafe or unhealthful sex toys.  Of course, one can make the case that even when there is a government regulatory agency with a mandate to protect us, and our pets, from unsafe, tainted or unhealthy food, drugs and other consumables they’re not doing a particularly good job.

The sex toy industry does an equally piss-poor job of regulating itself.  No surprise there, I suppose.  Profit motives seem to trump all other considerations.  And since there is virtually no scientific data on sex toy safety the responsibility for keeping ourselves safe falls to us, the consumer.  It’s up to us to positively impact the market.  We can begin by taking some responsibility for what we consume.  We can go GREEN with our sex toys, so to speak.  We could patronize only the retailers that provide fair and balanced product reviews.  We could refrain from buying on impulse or being swayed by slick smutty packaging.  We could avoid excess packaging that only winds up in a landfill.

We could avoid doing business with sex toy retailers who continue to peddle products with by unsubstantiated claims.  Herbal supplements that promise to grow a guy’s dick bigger or enhance his sexual performance.  Or those patches, pills and lubricating oils that are supposed to boost a chick’s desire.  It’s not like there aren’t good products out there, it’s just that we have to do our research before we buy.  Check out some of the great Product Review Sites too — Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews, Jane’s Guide or Hey Epiphora.

a122441_xlfWe could protect ourselves by insisting our toys be manufactured by people who have access to sex information, education and contraception for themselves.  If our purchases support repressive governments who abuse their people we are complicit in the repression.  Imagine our dildos, vibrators and fetish gear being manufactured by people who will never be able to enjoy a happy, healthy integrated sex life because of gender inequity or poverty.  That sucks, huh?

We can also protect ourselves by patronizing responsible and ethical sex toy retailers.  These include my very own Dr Dick’s Stockroom, Good Vibrations, Babeland and Eden Fantasys.  These retailers have excellent customer service departments and well as educational components to outreach.  They’re also terrific resources for all your sex toy related questions.

There have been a lot of unsubstantiated claims made of late that there is a potential danger in all sex toys.  Some insist that most sex toys contain cancer-causing ingredients. While I won’t go that far, there are some things to be concerned about.  For example, many soft rubber toys are made using phthalates, which have been linked to environmental and human health issues. Phthalates (pronounced “thall-eights”) are a chemical compound used to soften hard plastics into soft rubbery and jelly-like toys. I also recommend that you avoid toys with artificial scent and dyes.  They’ve been known to trigger allergic reactions in some people.

I believe that if you buy quality you are more likely to get quality.  Consider hypoallergenic materials, such as silicone, wood, glass and aluminum.  They are more expensive, but worth it.   Then again, you could always use a condom on any insertable, or less expensive toy of questionable material.  The problem with this is, condoms are not biodegradable and they’re expensive.  By the time you factor in the cost of condoms for every toy use, you’ll actually be spending more per diddle than if you bought quality from the get-go.

Remember the more information you have, the wiser a consumer you will be.

Good luck ya’ll

fitzsimmons_AZdailystar

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