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My Latest Book

AT LONG LAST!


(Click on the book art above to purchase.)

Synopsis
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For centuries homosexuals have been vilified and persecuted by the Catholic Church, but throughout all of its history the Church has had a very inconvenient secret. Many of its clergy and religious men and women, even those in the highest echelons of the Church, were and are homosexual. Little was known of the lives these religious people live until the publication, in 1981, of the groundbreaking, Gay Catholic Priests; A Study of Cognitive and Affective Dissonance.

I am the author of that study and I am a gay priest. But the media firestorm that erupted after its publication and the backlash within my religious community because of its publication eventually destroyed my public priesthood. The story of my 13-year battle with the Church to save my ministry exemplifies the spiritual isolation, emotional distress and ecclesiastical reprisals every gay priest most fears.

A Brief Description
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Secrecy, Sophistry And Gay Sex In The Catholic Church provides an intimate and disturbing look into the unseemly inner-workings the Catholic Church. It is primarily a story about how this institution deals with dissent in its midst, but it also shows to what lengths the Church will go to silence a whistle-blower. What I am about to recount happened between 1981 and 1994. It involves the highest levels of the Vatican bureaucracy, secret documents, corporate incompetence, canonical corruption, and institutionalized homophobia on an epic scale.

The publication of my dissertation broke the seal on the Vatican’s gay secret. The press dubbed me “The Gay Priest,” but my research and what it implies made patently clear that I wasn’t the only gay priest. In fact, there is a sizable segment of the clergy population that is gay and these men are forced to live duplicitous lives of repression in secret.

The Church’s single-minded effort to quash the emerging story and silence me showed that I needed to be “dealt with” in the most severe fashion; an example had to be made of me. If other priests started coming out of the closet, demanding to be treated with dignity and respect it would certainly undercut the entirety of Catholic sexual moral theology—there is no place for non-reproductive sexuality in that paradigm.

The irony is that at the same time my story was unfolding an unimaginable scandal, involving hundreds of Catholic priests across the globe, was also brewing. Cardinals, bishops and provincials worldwide were, and still are, furtively shuffling pedophile priest from one crime scene to another. They were, and still are, involved in a massive corporate cover up of their own crimes and those of their brother clergy.

While I am being singled out for 13 years of Church vitriol, public character assassination and communal shunning—my superiors claim that they are simply trying to protect the Church from scandal—these same Church leaders and others are lying, prevaricating and sabotaging any effort to uncover the burgeoning clergy sexual abuse scandal that would soon rock the front pages of newspapers all over the world.

The public panic, among Church officials, exhibited toward me—a single up-front gay priest in their midst—is in stark contrast to their apathetic and anemic response to the systemic clergy sexual abuse that engulfs them.

I am confident making the comparison between my struggle and the clergy sex abuse scandal, because I have first-hand knowledge of this abuse criminality. I was repeatedly sexually molested as a 14-year-old boy in an Oblate seminary in southern Illinois.

My story is the story of a Church that will go to any length, even to violate its core principles—Gospel values that form the fundamental tenets of faith—to protect its public image. In other words, this is a story of a Church out of control.

Secrecy, Sophistry And Gay Sex In The Catholic Church: The Systematic Destruction Of An Oblate Priest, is presented in two distinct parts.

  • Part 1 is a detailed account of my 13-year struggle with the religious community I once belonged to, The Missionary Oblates Of Mary Immaculate, to preserve my priesthood. It reads like an ecclesiastical who-done-it.
  • Part 2 is my complete doctoral thesis, Gay Catholic Priests; A Study of Cognitive and Affective Dissonance.  I included it in this volume, because this is precisely what set this controversy in motion.  It illustrates and reveals the plight of gay Catholic clergy and the fierce repression the Vatican imposes upon them. It is also the 30th anniversary of its limited publication as a monograph before the Vatican silenced me. It’s been out of print for well over 25 years.

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Tease For Two

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and we have something truly unique for you today and it comes to us directly from the manufacturer, Wet For Her. This is a brand new company that features designs by Parisian lesbians. Can ya stand it?

For more on this, here’s Dr Dick Review Crew members Gina & Kevin.

Wet For Her Two —— $39.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “When we swung by Dr Dick pad to pick up our latest product for review, Kevin and I had such a laugh. When we were handed the Wet For Her Two, we though it was one of those gag novelty items you often see in adult stores.”
Kevin: “Absolutely! But upon closer inspection we discovered that Wet For Her Two is not a novelty in a joke sort of way, but a pleasure object that is designed in a novel way.”
Gina: “We probably should have known that our first impression was wrong because the Wet For Her Two packaging is simple but very smart-looking. There is no garish sexual depictions like one would expect to see on a novelty item. There is, however, a totally hot image of a bare-breasted woman holding two fingers over her nipple on the back panel of the box.”
Kevin: “I’ll say; it’s sizzlin’ alright! And the two finger placement over her nipple, besides being discreet, hints at what the Wet For Her Two is.”
Gina: “The Wet For Her Two is a very creative insertable that slips over your forefinger and middle finger an acts as an extension for your fingers so that you can manual penetrate yourself or your partner with ease. The first 3 inches or so of the toy are hollow, the last 2 inches solid. So you get how it works, right? It’s beautifully low-tech.”
Kevin: “When Gina says; “manually penetrate,” what she actually means is finger-fucking. That’s why the concept of finger extensions is such a novel, and I might add brilliant, idea. It makes finger-fucking effortless because the Wet For Her Two extends your reach. I’d never be able to finger Gina’s G-spot using my god-given fingers; they’re just too short. Kudos to the lesbian identified chicks who came up with this idea.”
Gina: “Yeah, leave it to lesbians to know their way around a pussy as well as know how to pleasure one. The Wet For Her Two is made of 100% body-safe silicone. It’s soft and pliable enough to feel your own internal temperature as well as your orgasmic contractions when they cum. That being said, I have to admit that I much preferred Kevin using the Wet For Her Two on me than me using it on myself. When I used it on myself, the palm of my hand covered my clit so that I could only use the heal of my hand to rub myself there.”
Kevin: “Believe me, I was happy to oblige Gina. Her G-spot orgasms are beautiful to behold. And up until this point, I’d been only able to make her cum with a dildo type insertable. Now that I have these finger extensions, I’m like doing it myself, without the help of a foreign object. There is one thing I need to mention though. Clearly the Wet For Her Two is designed for thinner, feminine fingers. It was a struggle to slip this thing over my fat, manly fingers. I wound up dabbing a bit of water-based lube on my fingers and inside the Wet For Her Two for easier insertion. That did the trick.”
Gina: “The Wet For Her Two is made to be shared. Because it’s silicone, it’s nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic, latex-free and waterproof. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also sanitize it with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Drop it in a pot of boiling water or run it through the dishwasher; it’s all good!”
Kevin: “Speaking of sharing; I decided to take the Wet For Her Two for a spin up my ass. Anyone who follows our reviews knows I have penchant for repurposing any and all G-spot toys into P-spot toys. And I am happy to report that this baby worked like a charm. Guys, why struggle to massage your prostate with just your fingers when you can do so more easily and without the wrist strain with the Wet For Her Two.”
Gina: “But, just like me, Kevin preferred that I use the Wet For Her Two on him instead of him poking himself in the ass with it.”
Kevin: “It’s true! I’m perfectly able to diddle myself, but I love it when Gina takes over. Once she gets me warmed up with the Wet For Her Two, I’m all ready for her to peg me senseless with one of her strap-on dildos. YUMMY!”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Livin’ it up, livin’ it up oh yeah!

Hey sex fans,

It’s that time of the week again; it’s Product Review Friday. Today’s toy comes to us by way of our favorite retailer — Adult Sex Toys .com.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada for this Friday’s show and tell.

Acuvibe Cordless Ebony —— $73.92

Jada
I have a fantastic toy to tell you about. Allow me to introduce you to the Acuvibe Cordless. This is workhorse wand type vibe that will knock your socks off with pleasure. Simply put, for those of us gals who need a lot of direct stimulation to get off, only a wand type vibe will do. For years and years I relied on my trusty Hitachi Magic Wand. And despite having loads of opportunities to test drive many other new-fangled vibes, nothing even came close to the sure-fire performance of the Hitachi.

Of course, there was one huge drawback to the Magic Wand; it had to be plugged in to a wall socket. So I was basically tethered to an outlet for my pleasure. I guess I didn’t mind that all that much, because it never stopped me from pleasuring myself when I felt the urge.

But now, I am tether-free, and oh what a difference it makes. I get the same powerful vibrations I used to enjoy with my trusty old Hitachi, only now I can pleasure myself when and where I like. That’s because the Acuvibe is cordless. No more fumbling around adjusting a power cord or finding I was at the end of my tether, just as my big O was cumin ‘round the corner.

And get this, the Acuvibe can run on DC power, while plugged in, or, when charged, it can go cordless. Basically, you get the best of both worlds. You’ll never, ever need batteries!

This Acuvibe is about as stylish and sleek as a wand-type vibe can get. It’s jet-black, or ebony, if you will. It has a slip-resistant coating on the handle shaft and up near the power button. This is an exceptionally resourceful design element. Because when I’m holding on to my Acuvibe, and it is a bulky handful; I don’t want it to slip out of my hands while it’s working its magic. This is especially true if my fingers are wet with lube or my own wetness.

And the Acuvibe is versatile. It is brilliant on a stiff neck or sore back. It works wonders on my feet too. My husband asked me to tell you that men will also enjoy the Acuvibe.

The Acuvibe can run for 45 minutes on a single charge. And while it is charging there’s a blue light in the base that lights up. There’s just the single power switch that turns the unit on and also changes from a high-level speed of 5700 vibrations per a minute, to a low-level speed of 4300 vibrations per a minute.

Clean up is relatively easy. Just be very careful not to get water (or lube) in the recharge port. That being said, you can wipe it down with a lint-free towel and mild soap and warm water. Or try a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

I hope I can find attachments for my Acuvibe. The attachment that I’ve been using with my trusty Hitachi doesn’t fit on the Acuvibe, because the Acuvibe has a smaller head then the Hitachi. If anyone knows where I could find such an animal, please let me know. Leave me a message in the comments section. I’ll be forever in your debt.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Where the sun don’t shine

Hey sex fans,

It’s another edition of Product Review Friday cumin your way. And we have a swell toy for your bum to tell you about. It cums to us directly from the manufacturer, Nexus.

Review crew members, Ken & Denise, are here to show you around.

Nexus Excel Prostate Massager —— $57.24

Ken & Denise
Denise: “The Excel is the third Nexus product the Review Crew has reviewed so far. There are more coming up too! You can find all our Nexus reviews HERE.”
Ken: “The Excel has this fantastic shape; is made of phthalate-free hard plastic; and it comes in three colors. We have the black one. I have to say that I am partial to silicone toys; there’s a warmth to them that hard plastic doesn’t have. Silicone toys also have a ‘give’ to them that the Excel surely doesn’t have. But now that I’ve tried both, I can say that the hard plastic, Excel has a charm all its own.”
Denise: “I totally agree. In fact, I was surprised to discover that it was hard plastic and not silicone. It sure looks like silicone through its clear plastic minimal packaging. There is one obvious benefit to hard plastic over silicone; you can use whatever line of lube you prefer, even a silicone-based lube. You can’t do that with a fine silicone toy. And because the hard plastic Excel is nonporous and waterproof, it is easy to clean and sanitize too. This makes it the perfect toy to share.”
Ken: “Absolutely! Also, because you can sanitize it you can use it both anally and vaginally. Of course, never go from one hole to the other without sanitizing it. Denise thinks it rocks as a G-spot massager.”
Denise: “True! But here’s the thing; the Excel package says it’s a G-spot massager, but it also says that the unique stainless steel rollerball stimulator massages the perineum. There’s no way the rollerball comes anywhere close to my perineum when I’m stimulating my G-spot.”
Ken: “Yeah, I was confused by that too. Then we discovered that Nexus uses the term G-spot interchangeably with the P-spot, which is really your prostate. I don’t get it, but maybe I’m missing something.”
Denise: “It’s got to be confusing for many more people than us, right?”
Ken: “If you are new to ass play, you’ll want to keep in mind that you need a lot of lube for any insertions. And you should also know that the Excel is probably not for the anal novice. It’s very light, but pretty girthy. But if you have some practice with anal toys this baby will fill you up. The shaft is just under 4” long, and it has a circumference of 1.57” at its widest point.”
Denise: “The unusual shape of the Excel allows you to wear it like a butt plug. Your ass sphincter closes down on the last ridge of the shaft, which keeps it in place. You should know that this thing doesn’t vibrate or anything like that, so there are no batteries to run down. Rather it massages your P-spot (if you’re a guy) by rocking on it, or walking around with it in place.”
Ken: “Denise mentioned the rollerball stimulator. Well this thing pops out of its hard plastic nest for cleaning purposes. The Excel comes with this little tool to do just that. You can drop the two pieces, rollerball and hard plastic everything else into a pot of boiling water to sanitize.  Or if you’re real lazy like us, you can simply add it to the dishwasher.”
Denise: “My advice is to warm up your ass before using any toy. We like to relax our sphincter muscles with our fingers, before toy insertion. This also keeps me in touch, nu pun intended with my ass, which is a good thing.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Making a Marriage Work; A Primer For Sexual Success

I’m preparing a workshop for recently engaged couples. I expect there will be about a dozen couples attending. While most of the participants will be preparing for their first marriage, there will be at least two couples working on their second marriage. My experience tells me that regardless of how many turns one takes on the merry-go-round anxiety about sexual compatibility, particularly for the long haul, abounds.

One of the best resources out there for those considering a sexually exclusive traditional marriage is Esther Perel’s controversial book, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic.  Her thesis is that increased emotional intimacy between partners often leads to less sexual passion. I’ve been preaching the same sermon for nearly 30 years. But I assure you; there are ways around this predictable stumbling block.

Here we have Paige, age 22 from Tulsa. OK.

I am engaged to a wonderful guy. I’m excited about my upcoming marriage, but I’m also afraid that it will fail. I know you are going to think we’re freaks, but my fiancé and I have decided to save ourselves for after we are married. Some of our friends even our recently married friends are having trouble with their relationship and with the divorce rate so high, what are the chances that my marriage will work? Do I just have cold feet or am I not ready to get married?

First off, I don’t think you’re a freak for reserving full sexual expression till after you’re married. It wasn’t too long ago when that was the norm. But even people who enter marriage as established sex partners aren’t assured success.

I caution you to jettison any Pollyanna notion you might have about marriage being a breeze, or that all you need is love. These are dangerous fictions. Your recently married friends have problems because there are always problems in a marriage. It’s the nature of relationships. Hopefully, the problems you guys will face won’t be insurmountable, but sure as shootin’ problems will be your constant companions, even big problems. So count on it and prepare yourself accordingly.

You can also be assured that the problems you will encounter, regardless of their nature, will impact on your sex life together. Money concerns, the stresses of a career, kids, in-laws, you name it will all influence how you perceive your spouse. Nothing dampens ardor like financial difficulties or meddlesome relatives.

So Paige, rather than focus on the nature of your sex life as you enter your marriage, may I suggest that you concentrate on the bigger picture. And in order to do that you need to ask; why do most traditional, sexually exclusive marriages flounder? They crumble because they can’t bear up under the strain of the couple’s expectations for each other. Simply stated, they want too much from their spouse. They expect companionship, economic support and family for sure, but they also expect their partner to be their best friend, confidant and passionate lover. That’s a pretty tall order to fill for a single individual. Who wouldn’t have cool feet, or even be frozen in place, faced with those daunting expectations.

A lot of engaged couples overly concern themselves with the sexual viability or their relationship. My sense is that sexual concerns, by themselves, don’t tax a marriage to the point of breaking. You’ll notice that I said, ’sexual concerns, by themselves’. While sex and intimacy issues are indeed real and sometimes overwhelming, it’s the underpinnings of the relationship that bring these sexual issues into stark relief. Let me give you an example.

Say I’ve just spent 60 hours this past week at work; I get snarled in traffic on my commute every single day. I drag my sorry ass home to a loving partner, who may have been looking forward to an amorous night of sex play. But I’m completely fagged out, so to speak. I simply don’t have an interest in the old slap and tickle. It’s not that I don’t love my spouse; I do! I don’t have the energy to even squeeze one off by myself, let alone please and pleasure my partner.

Or say I’ve been caring for a house full of sick, ornery kids all day; and freaking out about our family’s precarious financial situation. I have barely the time and energy to rustle together some grub for the brood, when my loving partner, who may have been looking forward to an amorous night of sex play, arrives back at the homestead with stars in his/her eyes. I’m exhausted; and the idea of a tussle in the sack is the last thing on my mind. It’s not that I don’t love my spouse; on the contrary. I just don’t feel attractive, interesting, or more importantly, randy.

As these examples point out it’s not that the sexual energy has flown the coop. More often than not couples who face the tribulations of life together redirect their energy into resolving more pressing concerns than gearing up for sex. The reason I know this for certain is, if I were to take this stressed out couple away from the humdrum of their day-to-day, and land them on a tropical beach without a care in the world; I know for certain they’d fuck like bunnies.

Another example, say a couple is joined at the hip; you know the ones I’m talking about. Where one or the other partner can hardly take a trip to the loo without their spouse traipsing along. Many couples think this kind of closeness is a sign of their love and fidelity, and it may very well be for them. But I can guarantee this kind of familiarity will also stifle sexual passion. The truth of the matter is erotic fervor is dependent on at least a modicum of mystery. If I know my partner like the back of my hand, I’m less likely to see him/her as a sexual object; in the same sexual way as when we were courting.

This also can be proven. Why is the chick at work, who I have virtually nothing in common with, such a turn on? How is it that my yoga instructor, someone I hardly know and who pays me no attention, make me wet? It’s the mystery or the forbidden that jacks up the sexual tension.

The way I see it is passionate sex is dependent on a good deal of sexual tension. This kind of tension dissipates with time and it takes a great deal of work to keep that tension alive. Most couples don’t invest that kind of energy; even though they may pay lip service to the notion that they want the passion to continue.

Intimacy, on the other hand, is dependent on domestic tranquility, in other words, the elimination of tension in the relationship; regrettably this also includes sexual tension. And since most couples desire intimacy over sex they choose (either consciously or not) the path of domestic tranquility. But the result can be the kind of sexual frustration so many married people report.

I’ve been to a lot of wedding; and I’ve officiated at more than I can count. I’ve helped numerous couples construct their vows. Generally the first thing they want to say to each other is something like: “I promise to be your best friend, your confidant; your constant companion. Sound familiar? I thought it might. What I never hear is: “I promise to always be up for all your hot monkey love.” Not only would that vow be a showstopper; it would be an impossible promise to keep, unless you’re a blow-up doll. Frankly, it’s so much easier being a best friend or confident than the sexual siren that will be the answer to all your erotic dreams after we’re married for a few years.

Sexual exclusivity is at the heart of the romantic ideal. That’s why sexual infidelity is such a bugaboo in our culture. But the truth of the matter is, sustaining a model where marriage is the font from which all fulfillment flows is simply unrealistic. Maybe if we expect sexual exclusivity from our spouse, we ought to manage our other expectations of him/her (best friend, confidant, etc.) more pragmatically.

I am of the mind that since more than 50% of marriages in this country end in divorce; we must look at the relationship model we are laboring under. Maybe the romantic ideal is simply an illusion. I mean we can’t honestly try to explain away the divorce rate by saying all these couples simply married the wrong people. Know what I mean?

The parameters of a healthy, successful marriage will need to expand and contract with the stresses put upon it; it is after all a living entity. The balance between dependence and independence will constantly shift; so will the power dynamic in the relationship. Carve these things in stone and you will be mark a grave, not milestones on a path to growth.

Good luck