Review: The Ultimate Guide To Sex After 50

Hey sex fans!

2015 is turning out to be a banner year for sex positive books. Here it is still only January and this is my second review of a noteworthy book about human sexuality.

A few weeks ago, January 8th to be precise, I introduced you to Cooper S. Beckett’s book, My Life on the Swingset. In that review I mentioned that Cooper had been a guest on my Sex EDGE-U-cation Show.

Today’s review features a book written by another guest on my show, but this time it was the SEX WISDOM Show. Today’s book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty: How to Maintain – or Regain – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, was written by the brilliant, Joan Price.

Joan is on the forefront of our culture’s discussion on ageless sexuality. She is the author of two other books, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. She is a sought-after speaker and workshop leader. And, if that weren’t enough, she’s also a fitness expert. This woman is a ball of fire, sex fans, and an absolutely charming interview. Be sure to listen to the two-part interview I did with Joan, you’ll find them archived HERE and HERE!

Joan and I talked about some the many myths that surround sex during life’s second half; she covers this topic more in depth in her new book. The misinformation about sex after 50 is so pervasive that even many of us seniors and elders perpetrate it. And, of course, we’re often the butt of jokes.

1. We lose interest in sex as we age.
2. Senior sex is boring.
3. Dating as a senior/elder is depressing and hopeless.
4. Seniors with arousal issues just give up on sex.
5. Sex becomes more frequent as we age.
6. Real sex must involve intercourse and orgasm.
7. Health concerns and menopause will end one’s sex life.
8. If you’re interested in sex after you turn 50, you’re a dirty old man/woman.

The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty is the perfect antidote to the dismissive and degrading way that so much of the popular culture deals with senior and elder sexuality. Joan celebrates not only the existence and appropriateness of sexual desire for seniors and elders, but how sex can and does increase the health and wellbeing of older people.

Joan states her credo in the Introduction.
“…being sexual at this time of life means:
• Enjoying arousal and orgasm, with or without a partner
• Having a zesty, sex-positive frame of mind
• Being open to new possibilities
• Giving pleasure to this body that is capable of great delights
• Making a commitment to myself to be sexually aware and healthy”

Joan invites her readers to join her in conversation. And a big part of that conversation is being aware of what’s going on with our body as we age. Being attuned to that, and being able to communicate that to a partner, is key to great senior/elder sex. (To be frank, it’s the secret of great sex at any age, but I digress.) To that end, Joan includes in her book actual comments from real people that she has encountered in her work. These anecdotes reflect an array of feelings that underscore the conflicts, successes, and complexities of real life situations. And this being the Ultimate Guide, Joan includes the input from many of our colleagues who weigh in with their expert opinion on the topics she is addressing.

I love that Joan often makes the point that having a fulfilling sex life is not dependent on having a partner. Lot of seniors and elders are without a partner, but that ought not be an impediment to sexual enjoyment. Self-pleasuring, with one’s hand, or any of the myriad toys available to us, is the foundation of a rich, healthy, rewarding, and ageless sex life.

Joan also examines a topic near and dear to my life. In my book, The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying; Enhancing The End of Life, I took great pains to include a chapter about the sex and intimacy needs of sick, elder, and dying people. Joan does something similar in her chapter — Cancer, Cancer Treatment, And Sex. I am so grateful that Join addressed this timely topic, suggesting, as she does, that people challenged with cancer, or any other chronic condition for that matter, take their sexual performance questions to their doctors. I think we both believe this will go a long way to underscore the notion that wellbeing is not merely about absence of disease, it’s’ about quality of life. There’s also a marvelous section about sex and grief too.

And, just so you know, this isn’t a hetero-centric book. Joan includes all sexual orientations and lifestyles.

I highly recommend Joan’s new book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty, to everyone. If you are a fellow senior or elder, this book is chock full of important and practical information about things we care about. It also provides much needed support and encouragement as we make our way through this season of life. If you’re not a senior or elder, this book is an indispensable resource for you too. Not just so that you will be sensitive to the needs of others, but that you’ll grow in appreciation of the fact that sex is for a lifetime. And hey, you just might learn a little something new from someone who isn’t “new”.

I want to say a special thanks to Cleis Press, Joan’s publisher, for sending me this review copy of The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty.

Kudos to Joan! Your book is a marvel.

Be sure to check out Joan’s websites: joanprice.com and NakedatOurAge.com.

PS: This book would make a fantastic Valentine’s Day gift.

January 26, 2015

Dribblin’ Instead of Shootin’?

Name: Alvaro
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: Mexico
Hi, I’m concerned because I never shoot when I cum. I dribble. I don’t like the way I cum, can you advice me how to cum shooting?? Is there anything I can do? Is it my fault or I was born with a less powered gun than others?? Sorry to bother. And thx for your help.

The problem you describe is a common one. And the solution is relatively simple. It lies in, of all things, muscle mechanics. An ejaculation is primarily a muscle contraction — built up energy being released — thus the spurt. No spurt, or a dribble most likely indicates poor muscle tone. But there’s an easy and fun solution, or more properly an exercise. Kegel exercises to be precise.

Let’s start at the beginning, which is always a good place to begin, don’t ‘cha know. Your prostate is the source of your ejaculate. You have a handle on that concept, right? Good! Now picture a turkey baster. Imagine your prostate as the bulb on the one end and your dick as stalk with a hole in it at the other end. Picture the baster pointed upward, like your cock with an erection. Imagine the bulb is full of fluid and you need to get that fluid out the bulb, up the stalk and out the hole…just like your spooge when you cum. How ya gonna do that? A firm grasp on the bulb and a hefty squeeze, that’s how!

So Alvaro, if you’re dribblin’ instead of shootin’, your muscles need to be strengthened and toned. And like I said, I have just the right exercises for you.

Anyone who is paying the least bit of attention to the ranting and raving of Dr Dick will immediately be familiar with Kegel exercises. I talk about them a lot. And those who haven’t been paying attention — listen up, you monkeys! Kegel exercises serve to tone and strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle or as we in the know like to call it, the “PC” muscle, which is part of the muscle group at the floor of the pelvis. The health of this muscle group plays a vital role in getting you up and getting you off, as well as in other aspects of healthy genital functioning.

Kegel exercises help increase blood flow to the genital area (getting you up). And Kegel exercises strengthen and tone the muscles that are involved in ejaculation (getting you off). If you exercise this muscle regularly, you’ll gain greater control over the timing and strength of your ejaculations. Kegel exercises can also prevent incontinence and other problems associated with aging, but we’ll save that for another time.

So you’re probably saying to yourself, “sure, Dr Dick, I’d like to strengthen my PC muscle, but I never even heard of that muscle, let along know where to fine it.”

Alrighty then, Alvaro, here’s what ya do. Work up a full bladder, the more full your bladder the better. Go to the john and sit on the toilet. (Yeah, just like a girl!) Now let the pee flow. As you’re doin’ that, I want you to interrupt the stream of piss several times before you empty your bladder. The muscle you are using to do this is your PC muscle. Look to distinguish between your PC muscles and your anal sphincter muscles. With a little practice you’ll become adept at separating out these two muscle groups. Actually strengthening all your pelvic muscles is a swell idea, especially for power bottoms, but again we’ll save that topic for another time too.

Now that you have located your PC muscle, you can exercise it at will, even when your bladder is completely empty. First, try squeezing your PC muscles as hard as you can for a count of three seconds. Then relax. Repeat this till you feel the muscles tiring. How fun is this?

I want you to work for both muscle strength and tone. For example, start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds apiece). Relax. Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row. Doing three sets of each twice a day for a week is your goal. When you are ready to proceed try increasing this to three sets of eight to ten prolonged squeezes and 20 rapid contractions in a set. The advanced Kegeler will be able to vary the type and timing of his PC squeezing; slow clenches to quick flutters.

If you keep this up, you’ll be shootin’ jizz across the room in no time. And the beauty part of Kegel exercises is you can do them whenever and wherever you like. You can be sitting in a meeting with your boss and be doing your Kegel exercises. You can argue with your boyfriend/girlfriend and be doing your Kegel exercises. You can be watching reruns of Leave It To Beaver with your maiden aunt and be doing your Kegel exercises. Who would have guessed improving your sexual health would be such a pleasure?

If you’re serious about all of this, I have else to share with you. This is The Private Gym. It’s the first interactive, follow-along exercise program that helps men strengthen the muscles that support and control our cock. As men approach age 30, the muscles that support erectile function begin to weaken. By age 40, more than 50% of men experience some form of erectile dysfunction and this number increases to more then 66% as men approach 60 years of age. And for all you bottoms out there, you know how important it is to keep anal muscles in tip-top, pardon the pun, shape. And, just in case you didn’t know, The Private Gym won the coveted Best Health Related Product or Toy of 2014 as compiled by the Dr Dick Review Crew. So how about them apples?

Good luck

January 23, 2015October 30, 2018

Sounds…difficult

Name: Pete
Gender: Male
Age: 60
Location: New England
What is sounding the penis and why is it called that?

Sounding is a kind of urethra play. It’s called that because the it involves sounds, a kind of dilator. Why not mozie on over to Dr Dick’s Stockroom and check out the Sounds & Dilators section, you’ll get an eyeful!

Urethra play freaks out lots of folks, myself included. Most of us would equate having something inserted into our urethra…for any reason…with a root canal by a sadistic dentist. Not something purposely done for the sheer enjoyment of it.

I’m always curious about how folks come to odd fetishes like urethra play. One of my correspondents way back in July 2007, Georgia, wrote that her urethra play began when she was a child. When she asked her mother where babies came from. Her mother said it’s where peepee comes out. Georgia looked down there and saw this teeny-tiny hole. She knew having a baby was difficult and painful and thought, no wonder! So she decided she’d better try and make the opening bigger. And so it began.

Once a guy told me that he was playing doctor with his older cousin, when his cousin inserted a twig into his urethra, mimicking how he thought a doctor would take a patient’s temperature. This guy said that the moment was so sexually charged, even as boy of no more than 5, that his piss hole became an object of fascination and pleasure from that day onward. When I knew him, he was able to insert the bristle end of a toothbrush into his urethra. That bit of unsolicited information just about made me swoon into a faint back then. Even now, retelling that story gives me the willies.

So ok, this isn’t for me, but I am told by those in the know that because the urethra is such a sensitive organ, stretching it can provide exquisite sexual pleasure.

Practitioners of this unique kink often start out young, like Georgia and the other guy. Maybe it’s just a function of some people’s natural curiosity about their body, when one day they discover their urethra. They toy with it, stretch it, and find pleasure. Once that happens, of course, it becomes like most pursuits of pleasure; it becomes a fascination, then a full-blown kink.

If a little accidental stretching is pleasurable, what about intentional stretching with one kind of gadget or another — Q- tips, thermometers or a ballpoint pen? Once these kids are old enough to do some research, they discover there are an array of medical implements available to them like latex or plastic tubing, catheters and urethral sounds and dilators. Well, you can see how this could just grow and grow…pretty much like any fetish. Pleasure is curious that way, spurring us on to higher and higher heights.

But like all pleasure related things, practitioners ought to have his/her wits about them when they play with their pee hole. I think it’s ill advised to be stretching your urethra with just any old thing lying around. One’s bladder and urethra are sterile areas and one ought only use sterile equipment and procedures while inserting anything in there. And one ought to take one’s time with this sort of play. Incremental stretching is advised. Please, don’t forget the surgical lube. The use of mind altering, or body desensitizing drugs is not recommended, for obvious reasons. Like I always say, safe and sane play is happy play.

And here’s something you should know — the male urethra is approx. 10 to 13 inches long and has a “J-shaped” curve to it. The female urethra is much shorter, only approx. 2 1/2 to 3 inches long, and there is no curve. Therefore, a woman can stretch her urethra much easier and to a greater extent than can a man. You will find that gender differences also makes for gender specific toys.

Good luck

January 20, 2015

Slut Shaming

Name: Martin
Gender: Male
Age: 50
Location:
Thanks in advance for your assistance, Dr. Dick.
Here’s my dilemma; I’m so in love with my partner, he’s actually the man of my dreams. We met much later in life, he being 45 and I’m 50.
I was married before w/children, out now as a gay man and all is well with my children’s relationship.
My partner has always known he was gay, has had numerable relationships, and was a sexual addict. He has wanted me to understand his past in relationship to his level of happiness now, stating that he was a bottom slut only because he was never truly in love or satisfied.
He wants me to believe that “I’m the one” that has changed his life-long addiction to strange dick up his ass.
I can’t seem to get past his past slut behavior, and oftentimes get so pissed off because he wants me to meet and develop friendships with many of these past fucks (primarily because they were military buddies also).
Why can’t I accept his slutty past and stop the suspicions?
Why do I get so upset just knowing that he was a total bottom slut??
How can I get him to understand that I have no desire to know any more about his sexual past and just focus on creating our lives???
Thanks,

Martin, Martin, Martin! How you do go on, darling.

Take a look at your language, why don’t ‘cha? Could you possibly be any more pejorative when speaking of the sexual experiences of someone who has lived a different lifestyle than you? I doubt it. Look at how many times you use the word “slut” to describe the man you say you love. I’m gonna call you out on that. You simply can’t tell me you love someone that you have so little regard for.

Your man wants you to understand his past, but you won’t take it at face value. You belittle his experience, possibly because it doesn’t match your own very limited, sexually exclusive, predominately heterosexual lifestyle.

Listen, lots of gay men (and some straight men) have loads of sex for lots different reasons. Sometimes just for the fun of it…or, as your man suggests, just to be a big old bottom slut. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. One can be happily sexual without loving each and every one of his partners. And the sex can be really good too. Just as one can have very unsatisfying sex with somebody one loves deeply. Sex, intimacy, and love are not necessarily dependent on the one another. No need to make such a tangle of it all, Martin.

I also want to reinforce my belief that there’s no such thing as a sex addict. Compulsive behavior? Sure! Out of control behavior? You betcha! Self-denigrating behavior? Absolutely! Sexual addiction? No way!

Try for just a minute to extricate yourself from your sex-negative mindset by exchanging the notion of eating when you talk about your friend’s sexual exploits. Would you have the same revulsion if your guy said he had shared food with lots of other guys? Some of it was fast food that didn’t satisfy all that much. Sometimes he ate just because he wanted to, not because he was hungry. And now he wants you and he, as a couple, to be friends with some of the men he ate with. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

Your man is inviting you to open yourself up and see life and sex as most openly gay men do. This is fundamentally different from how some formerly closeted men see life and sex. If you let him, he just might help heal you of your sex-negativity.

Finally, jealousy is one of the worst human emotions. It’s actually a kind of hatred, you know. Sometimes it’s hatred of another, but it is always self-hatred. You say you love this man; again, I challenge you on that. It’s clear to me that you have a much greater love of your provincial notions about sex then you have for this guy.

Here’s a tip, Martin. Jettison the unhealthy attitudes about sexual expression and give your guy a chance to be himself, not the idealized man you’ve made him out be, or think he should be. You’d be well served by working with a sex-positive therapist to help you get over this. Do it now, because if you hesitate you will surely ruin the very relationship you claim to treasure.

Good luck

January 12, 2015

Trouble Down Below

Name: Marcus
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: New Jersey
I have a problem that is really fucking with my head, causing all sorts of performance anxiety and, long story short; I’m still a virgin at age 20. And because of it, a few failed sexual encounters. I can get a raging boner when I’m wacking off alone, but I feel humiliated by my dick whenever I get the chance to show it off. I have what’s known as a “skin bridge.” I’ve asked a doctor about plastic surgery to correct it, and he told me it originated when my circumcision didn’t heal correctly. (And the statute of limitations to sue the bastard expired long before I knew he was at fault.) Anyway, now I’m looking at a choice between this freakish tunnel of skin that goes halfway around my cock and a different, who-knows-what-kind-of-hideous scar might result from a second surgery. The situation is ruining my life. Maybe it’s the root of some psychological complex driving me toward homosexuality too, but don’t worry about that. If I still can’t get it up for a girl after I find some peace of mind on this issue, then I’ll drop the bi attitude and come out as gay no problem. What’s your two cents on the surgery? I realize this might be one of your toughest questions to date.

This isn’t a particularly tough question at all. And you want my two cents? Here it is: get over it! I mean, pup, really? Skin bridges from botched circumcisions are not particularly uncommon. In fact, I know two guys right here in Seattle who have the very same thing and one is a former porn star. Trust me, his skin bridge did not get in the way of him waving his thang all over the place, don’t cha know.

Here’s a tip: stay away from the surgeon. More cutting on your willie ain’t the answer.

Here’s the thing, if, when you drop trou, and your audience, male or female, gets a gander at your johnson; and they point and shriek, “OMG, that thing is hideous! Please, please, please put it away;” then I think you’ve got a legitimate problem. However, if no one does that, ever, then your shame and humiliation is all in your head. You’ve probably created a mountain out of a molehill. But, if by chance, you think I’m being unfair, or cavalier about your concern, then take a photo of your hideously deformed wiener and send it to me for my evaluation.

Now there are two ways to go in this instance. The first option is to grow up and realize that your “condition,” if you can call it that, falls within the natural variance of dick size and shape. The second option is to capitalize on the very thing that makes you different. Ya know how some guys have their dick pierced and then put a ring or rod through the piercing, just to doll things up a bit? Well, you already have a natural piercing. Why not take your cock down to your local piercing parlor and get it fitted for a nice piece of genital jewelry. Then you can say with pride that you adorned what you once though as a defect and made your cock even more beautiful than it was before.

Finally I have to ask; what’s up with the…if I don’t get this fixed; I’m gonna go all queer. You think gay guys are less self-conscious about their equipment than straight men? If ya do, you are living in a dream world, darling.

Good luck

January 8, 2015

REVIEW: My Life on the Swingset

Hey sex fans!

Have I got some marvelous news for you! My friend and colleague, Cooper S. Beckett, has written a new book. It impressed me no end so I thought, rather than keep this all to myself, I’d share it with you.

Ya’ll remember Cooper, right? OK, maybe ya don’t; it’s been a long time since he was last seen skulking around my site. Way back in March of 2011 I had the pleasure of welcoming Cooper and his ever so lovely sidekick, Ginger, to my Sex EDGE-U-cation show for a two-part interview. You can find both parts in the Podcast Archive HERE and HERE!

Cooper and Ginger are the hosts of the Life On The Swingset podcasts, where they discuss a wide range of topics, with a focus on consensual non-monogamy.

Cooper’s new book: My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory, is a collection of essays on…wait for it…his personal journey through ethical non-monogamy. This is what he says about it in the Introduction:

You should read this book because it represents my journey. From starry-eyed newbie swinger, through my dealing with jealousy and conflict, through the triumphs of orgies and play parties, through the devastation of breaking up, through exploring polyamory, through divorce, through major life changes, through depression, through success and failure, through the rise and fall of new relationships.

Triumphs of orgies?? How you do go on, sir!

It’s no secret that Cooper is unabashedly biased when it comes to swinging, polyamory, as well as other forms of ethical non-monogamy. And why shouldn’t he be? As he plainly states he has grown in his appreciation of himself and his sexuality in the process. Now, how many of us can make a similar claim? However, in his enthusiasm, he doesn’t gloss over the difficulties. He speaks honestly and earnestly about this particular way to live one’s life. He describes the opportunities that allow for growth in terms of understanding one’s sexuality and one’s loving relationships through experimentation and self-reflection.

To my mind, there is nothing more compelling than a “coming out” story. It’s one thing to quietly self-identify as a fellow big-fat-pervert, as I am apt to say on my podcasts, it’s quite another to tell the whole world. I am pleased to welcome Cooper to the Out-There-Come-What-May club. It’s good to have you here, my friend.

One of my favorite chapters in the book is titled: Bi The Way – Male Bisexuality and Swinging. Cooper, Ginger, and I talked about this very thing, at length, in our podcast together. So it was delightful to find him exploring this concept in print as well.

There is a huge double standard in the swinging lifestyle when it comes to acceptance of bisexual males. We all know this, it’s endemic. As swingers we seem perfectly happy that our women are bisexual. We encourage and expect them to be so often. Some more than others, but by and large, definitely bisexual. Now don’t jump down my throat here, I’m well aware that straight swinging females exist, and probably in a decent sized number, but wouldn’t we all agree that the VAST majority of females in the lifestyle are bi? This fact isn’t really shocking, as even the mainstream vanilla world has embraced girl-on-girl dalliance action in the past ten to fifteen years. So when a lifestyle such as swinging presents itself as an option, affording them the opportunity to play with girls, well, there ya go, that’s where the bi girl inside comes out. Many of the swing couples I’ve met said that this was one of the prominent reasons they got into this lifestyle in the first place. So Mrs. could play with another woman. You raise the call for bisexual males, however, and tumbleweeds blow by. Invisible because it’s been made very clear in club and party rules and pricing that a man who wants to play with another man is an unwelcome addition to the scene. This doesn’t make sense.

See why I like Cooper so much?

Another thing I liked a lot about the book, and I think every reader will echo my feelings about this, is Cooper’s thoughtful addition of a glossary of pertinent lingo. If you don’t know the difference between a Full Swap and a Soft Swap or don’t know PIV and PIA from a hole in your head (someone’s gonna appreciate that pun, don’t cha know), not to worry because Cooper takes great pains to spell it out for you.

On a personal note, I want to say a special thanks to Cooper for his chapter titled: Podcasting Can be Lonely. I thought I was the only person who thought this way.

Podcasting can be a lonely pursuit at times. You predominantly interact with people that don’t have physicality in your world. They’re avatars, they’re ones and zeros. They exist for real somewhere, of course. (Most of them, there are the bots after all.) But few exist beyond text on a screen. Writing for a website is the same way. It’s a lot of work, and a tremendous output of self. We sex bloggers reveal so much to so many people (at least we hope for “so many”) and can often get to wondering if we’re just shouting into the void.

Funny, erotic, thought provoking, authentic, and true. My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory raises the bar for all of us who are trying to live honest ethical non-monogamy and talk with others about our experiences. Cooper Beckett, you are an inspiration!

My Life on the Swingset is available exclusively as an Amazon Kindle e-book. A print edition will follow later this month. And be sure to look for the audiobook release in the spring. Check it out, sex fans; you’ll be so glad you did.

January 5, 2015

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

Name: Trey
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Location: Charleston, SC
I’m a good looking guy. At least that’s what people tell me. I’m educated, have a good job, have a great sense of humor, and I’m also bi. I thought that being attracted to both women and men would increase the likelihood of me finding the sexual satisfaction I so desperately want and need.

I’m not afraid of commitment, but I can’t seem to get beyond casual hook ups and affairs that last only a few months. The sex is a hit or miss kind of thing, but even when the sex is great, I always seem to hit a wall. I can’t seem to get to the next level.

The New Year is upon us and I don’t want to remain stuck in this holding pattern. What am I missing? Any advice for someone like me?

Thanks for the timely question, Trey. And Happy New Year to you.

You bring up two very important skill sets — satisfying sex and relationship building. Despite the myths perpetuated by the popular culture, the two are not necessarily interdependent. Sexual satisfaction is one thing, and it can be achieved through traditional relationship models or not. Successful primary relationships can and often do depend on the sexual satisfaction of the partners, but not always. And given the diversity of intimate interests people have, it’s no wonder some come away from the experience frustrated and disappointed. Think of it as a combination lock. All the tumblers need to align for the lock to open.

The secret, it seems to me, is to discover precisely what it is you are looking for and deciding precisely what it is you are willing to expend getting what you want.

And I hope that your bisexuality has lead you to embrace more relationship models than what is traditionally handed us as the be all and end all—heterosexual monogamy. There is so much more out there.

That being said, I do have some generic thoughts about sexual satisfaction that are applicable to whatever relationship model you choose. Great sex is dependent on mutuality, even in a casual hook up. Be sure your partner knows he or she is loved, appreciated, or in terms of the casual hook up, respected.

If the connection you have with another has legs, so to speak, you will soon discover that either you or your partner has a stronger libido than does the other. That’s pretty common. Deal with this immediately, like adults. Don’t wait for your relationship to go broken. It’s just too easy to walk away from something that is floundering instead of investing the effort it would take to right it. Does that sound familiar? I wouldn’t be surprised if it does. Accommodations and compromise are always necessary in seeking the common good. And by that I don’t mean sinking to the lowest common denominator. People come to compromise and accommodation through effective communication. If you don’t know how to do that, your relationship, of whatever stripe, is doomed.

Passion is not a dirty word, nor is sexual expression a sin. If you or a partner has religious scruples about enjoying you own body or that of your partner you’re headed for trouble. And remember, boredom in the bedroom is a recipe for disaster.

You should be well versed in self-pleasuring. In fact, the more you know about your body and the mysteries of your sexual response cycle the smoother things will go in partnered sex. Nowadays there is absolutely no need for anyone to come to partnered sex uninformed about sex in general and his or her sexuality in particular.

Like I said, mutuality is the key. And since we all evolve sexually, partners need to grow right along with each other. Make your sex play an adventure. Never hesitate to check in with one another to see how the pleasure thing is going. What’s worked last time is not necessarily gonna work next time.

Spontaneity is always a real good thing. Both partners need to take responsibility for seeing that their intimacy needs are being met. Sometimes that will involve fucking like bunnies, other times it will mean vegging-out in front of the boob-tube with a fist full of Häagen-Dazs.

Again, communication is key! Openness and honesty about one’s most secret sexual fantasies and desires is essential. Can’t trust your partner with your secrets? That’s never a good sign. Take responsibility for your own sexuality. Ask for what you need, but don’t neglect caring for yourself.

Seek your partner’s pleasure before your own. This is particularly important for a man.

If you are too busy to celebrate your sexuality with your partner, you are indeed too fuckin’ busy. Prioritize your life with your partner at its center.

There’s a fundamental difference between making love and fucking. Both have their place in a healthy sex life. And there ought also be room for solitary sex too. Everyone in entitled to privacy and private time, especially in a relationship. If your job, or career, or whatever else interests you is more important than your relationship don’t expect that relationship to last.

Be creative in your sexual expression; toys, fantasies, role-playing, they’re all good. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Attend to making your sex play spaces fit the mood — romantic to down and dirty. One size does not fit all, if you catch my drift.

Stay in shape (and there’s not just one shape), get plenty of exercise, and keep yourself interesting and attractive to your partner. Pay attention to your personal hygiene. No one wants to bump someone with a smelly body or bad breath.

Make sure your partner is fully aroused before full-on fucking. And remember sex is way more than the old in an out. Finally, have a sense of humor about the whole damn thing; it will help take the edge off.

Good luck

January 1, 2015January 1, 2015

Happy New Year 2015

We made it!

December 26, 2014January 6, 2015

Best Adult Products List For 2014

We interrupt our winter holiday to bring you the special Product Review Friday.

On this the last Friday of the year, it’s time to announce this year’s Best Products List. We have four categories this year — Best Product or Toy for Men; Best Product or Toy for Women; Best Product or Toy for Couples (a tie); and Best Health Related Product or Toy.

We reviewed some amazing adult products and toys this year, so coming up with the very best in each category was a bit of a challenge. But despite the difficulty we completed our list and here are members of the Dr Dick Review Crew to reveal the winners.

First up are Joy & Dixie with The Best Product or Toy for Women — Form 2 by Jimmyjane.

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “We started the new year off with a bang. Joy and I celebrated our 6th anniversary on New Years Eve. I know, how perfect is that? Anywho, we got a bunch of swell gifts from friends. We have the best friends evah!”
Joy: “Amongst the booty was a Jimmyjane Form 2. And guess who gave it to us? My ex, Barbara! The first product I ever reviewed for Dr Dick was the Share. And Barbara and I were together back then. She knows my passion for toys and so she got Dixie and me the Form 2.”
Dixie: “I was completely flabbergasted because the Form 2 isn’t cheap; in fact it’s really pricy. Barbara’s a dot-com millionaire, so I suppose plunkin’ down $150 for a sex toy means nothing to her. Don’t get me wrong, I love that she’s so generous. And she’s such as sweetheart on top of it.”
Joy: “Yeah, Barb rocks! So let me take you on a little tour of the Form 2. It’s the cutest little thing. About the size of the palm of your hand, it’s basically a body with two short flexible ears. I call it my alien bunny. It’s made of high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And it has a stainless steel base where it recharges in its stylish charger base. Its rechargeable lithium polymer battery takes about two hours to fully charge and runs up to seven hours on a single charge.”
Dixie: “It features five vibration speeds and four modes of vibration, and is operated by a one button controller. Form 2 is fully waterproof and easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. And it should be shared!”
Joy: “The two flexible ears vibrate, each with their own motor. So when you nuzzle the Form 2 up to your clit, with the ears placed along each side, your whole vulva is stimulated. Love it! It’s super quiet too.”
Dixie: “The ears pulsate with pleasure. Like Joy mentioned above each ear is flexible, but the body is dense. It feels so comfortable in my hand. I like moving Form 2 all around my body. My nipples are particularly sensitive to the pleasure it can deliver. I encourage you to find all your erogenous zones or those of your partner with this joyful toy.”
Joy: “It’s true! The sensations are like in stereo; the motors in each ear create happiness wherever it travels on your body. It’s the ideal toy for the bath. The Form 2 excels in design as well as function. It’s immediately obvious that a great deal of time, effort, and knowhow has gone into making this a pleasure treasure. And ya know what? Guys will like this too.”
Dixie: “Here’s a thoughtful little extra; the controls can be locked in the off position for safe sex toy traveling. There’s nothing more embarrassing than have your vibe come to life on its own as you’re going through airport security. We already mentioned that Form 2 is rechargeable, so obviously it comes with its own charger and detailed product information brochure is included in the packaging. It also comes with a three-year product warranty.”
Full Review HERE!

Next up is our fearless leader, our very own Dr Dick with the Best Health Related Product or Toy — The Private Gym

Dr Dick
There are a handful of things that I have been very passionate about throughout my long career as a sexologist. Each of my passions revolve around two simple principles: the importance of knowing and owning who we are as sexual beings and an knowing about how our body works. These are the basic building blocks of sexual health and wellbeing.

Sexual wellbeing means a whole lot more than simply being able to perform. It also means taking responsibility for one’s eroticism as an integral part of one’s personality and involvement with others. But being unfamiliar with the basics of how our body works will surely short-circuit even our ability to perform.

My aim has always been to provide information, guidance, and resources that will help people approach their unique sexuality in a realistic and responsible manner. That’s what Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews are all about. So when a representative of Adult Fitness Concepts contacted me via email to tell me about their new product (actually, it’s more of a program than a product), the first FDA registered Kegel exercise program for men, my interest was piqued. I was told that the Private Gym was created after 3 years in development with several leading urologists, physiotherapists, and sexual health experts.

I have been an avid proponent of pelvic floor musculature toning for both women and men for my entire career in sexology. I write and speak about this topic so often that sometimes I feel like a broken record. Don’t believe me? Look for yourself. Use the search function in the sidebar of either of my sites, Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews, type in pelvic muscles, and BANG!

Women tend to know more about Kegel exercises, the exercises that tone and strengthen one’s pelvic floor musculature because doctors encourage them to do their Kegels during pregnancy. But here’s a tip for all you guys out there who are reading this and rolling your eyes and getting ready to turn the page because you think this is some kinda Oprah — vagina moment. Listen up you monkeys; kegel exercises aren’t just for the ladies. Us men folk have pelvic muscles too. So pay attention, you’re gonna want to know about Kegels too.

What are Kegels, you may be asking. They’re muscle contraction and relaxation exercises designed help restore, tone, and strengthen the muscles that surround the opening of the urethra (see guys, we have one of those), vagina (ok, we don’t have one of those, but we do have a penis and we get erections), and anus (we sure as hell have one of those). Since this includes the muscle that you use to stop and start the flow of urine, you can check if you’ve identified the right muscle by testing your kegel technique while peeing — if you can stop the flow of urine when tightening, then you know that you’re contracting the correct muscle group. BTW, the main muscle is call the pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle for short.

There are several “toys” on the market that are designed to help women tighten and tone their pelvic floor muscles, Ben Wa balls, and all their modern incarnations, for example. Now, thanks to the Private Gym us men folk have our own exercise program. A program that promises stronger, more rigid erections, a reduction in premature ejaculation, heightened orgasms, improvement in urinary control all while supporting prostate health.

I know what you’re thinking, if I can do Kegels on my own, why do I need a program? Good question. The best answer I can come up with is it will help you stray on track and achieve your goals. I mean, isn’t that the reason we go to a gym? Surely we can workout on our own, but the support and encouragement we get from being part of and involved in a program makes the effort more rewarding. It’s all about psychology, right?

The Private Gym is the first interactive, follow-along exercise program that helps men strengthen the muscles that support and control our cock. As men approach age 30, the muscles that support erectile function begin to weaken. By age 40, more than 50% of men experience some form of erectile dysfunction and this number increases to more then 66% as men approach 60 years of age. And for all you bottoms out there, you know how important it is to keep anal muscles in tip-top, pardon the pun, shape.

There are two parts to the Private Gym program — 1) the Basic Training Program (available on DVD or through digital download) and 2) the Complete Training Program, which involves resistance training.

As we all know, resistance training is key to building strong muscles. Imagine doing bicep curls or a bench press without weights. The Private Gym Complete Training Program resistance equipment is basically a weighted high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone cuff for your dick. How amazing is that? You slip this puppy around your stiffy and do your Kegels. The cuff is also waterproof, so it cleans us easily with mild soap and warm water.

Just like all weight training, muscle contractions increase blood flow and increased blood flow to your johnson will…wait for it…produce harder, larger, and longer-lasting erections. Your pelvic musculature is also responsible for the strength of your ejaculation. Do you dribble instead of shoot? Well, my friend, you have some important exercisin’ to do.
Full Review HERE!

Next we hear from Dr Dick Review Crew Members, Glenn & Hank who have the Best Product or Toy for Men — The ZINI Bang! Bang!

Glenn & Hank
Hank: “Here’s how it happened. Dr Dick called us and said he had a new product for us to review. I thought, ok, cool. We hadn’t posted a review since January. I asked what kind of product was it. He said it was a mechanical masturbator. I let out an audible groan.”
Glenn: “When Hank told me about the new toy, I did more than grown. I said to Hank. ‘How many of these stupid things have The Crew reviewed? And how many of them could even begin to deliver on the promises made?’ Before Hank could answer, I said, ‘We’ve reviewed loads of them and they all sucked, and not in a good way!’”
Hank: “I didn’t know how I was gonna tell Glenn that I had already accepted Dr Dick’s offer and that I planned to swing by his place after work to pick up the ZINI Bang! Bang! ‘Really? That’s the name?’ I asked Dr Dick. Wait till Glenn gets a load of this, I said to myself despairingly.”
Glenn: “Once we had the package on the dining room table, I began to walk back my resistance to the whole idea. Even if it didn’t work it was hella cool looking. I like the packaging and if the marketing spiel and images on the packaging were only partially accurate, maybe I could really get into the Bang! Bang! (Stop, you’re killing me with that name!)”
Hank: “I think the futuristic design is great too. You have to hand it to Zini, they’re comin’ up with some great stuff. The Bang! Bang! is capsule-shaped. It kinda looks like a kitchen appliance; think coffee grinder or citrus juicer. It is made of hard plastic and it stands on a suction cup stand. This is gonna come in handy in a minute, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”
Glenn: “Like Hank said, no one would ever be able to guess what the Bang! Bang! is just by looking at it. Now let’s see it go to work. First thing, ya gotta know is it’s rechargeable. Thank god, no freakin’ batteries to deal with. It takes a couple hours to fully charge and the control panel lights up during charge; changing color, red to blue, when fully charged. Next, you pop off the dome cap and under it you will find a squishy elastomer cushion with a hole in it. This is not unlike a Fleshlight or Fleshjack. Except this thing’s squishy cushion is nonporous and phthalate-free. This beats the shit out of the stuff Fleshlight uses, both in terms of health and cleanup. I’ll get back to clean up thing in a minute, so hold on to that thought.”
Hank: “When I finally got my hands on the Bang! Bang! I stuck my finger in the hole and got the surprise of my life. Inside I could feel dozens of soft, tiny little fingers protruding from the sides of the cup underneath the squishy cushion on top. It feels like it’s made of that same elastomer material as the cushion top. And it’s easy enough to get a loser look at too. All ya gotta do is twist off the cushion top cap and look inside. I began to see where Zini was goin’ with this thing. You can further disassemble the fingered insert from the cup that holds it. ‘Alright then,’ I said. ‘This is the hot setup.’”
Glenn: “I almost didn’t want to turn the Bang! Bang! on for fear of being disappointed, but my curiosity got the best of me. We reassembled all the parts, which is real easy to do and turned it on. Neither one of us was willing to stick our dick in it quite yet, so we began by fingering it. I fuckin’ couldn’t get over the sensations. Get this, the Bang! Bang! has 50-motion modes! That is, the insert with the soft, tiny little fingers rotates with 10 different modes and there are 5 speeds. Once I was confident that sticking my pecker in the hole wasn’t gonna get it lopped off, I dropped my pants and pulled on my dick to get it hard. I tried to stick my willie in the hole in the squishy cushion, but it was no go. I needed to lube it up first. I used a water-based lube to start with, but after a few times I started using a silicone-base lube because that’s my favorite.”
Hank: “Once Glenn had his dick inside the Bang! Bang! he turned it on. The first words out of his mouth was ‘holy fuck!’ Glenn started to put the Bang! Bang! through its paces. There were so many woohs and ahhhs that I though he was gonna bust a nut in no time at all. Thing is, he started to pump his cock in and out of the Bang! Bang!, which is ill-advised and unnecessary. The depth of the fingered cup is no more than 4 inches, so, as Glenn found out ramming his dick into the thing would only bump his dick head against the back of the cup. And, as he said, ‘that doesn’t feel good.’”
Glenn: “I forgot that the Bang! Bang! is a masturbator and not a stroker. But once I got the hang of it, I was in heaven. This is definitely the lazy man’s orgasm machine; you don’t have to do anything but insert your johnson and manipulate the control buttons. By the way, it has a great easy-off feature too. In what seemed record time I shot my wad, it was totally amazing. This thing isn’t particularly quiet, but it’s not coffee grinder loud either.”
Hank: “My turn with the Bang! Bang! wasn’t as great as Glenn’s, but that’s no fault with the toy itself. It is designed for small to average hung guys. I couldn’t get my dickhead into this thing even with a lot of lube. I’m just a little too girthy…ok, maybe a lot too girthy.”
Glenn: “I felt bad that Hank wasn’t able to feel what I felt because it was totally amazing. The bright side is, I now have the Bang! Bang! all to myself. Once I had free reign with the thing I discovered how versatile it is. Remember we mentioned the suction cup stand at the very beginning of our comments? Well, you can stick this to any smooth flat surface, adjust the angle as you please, and plug in your dick as you would a hole or mouth for hands-free pleasure. Just remember that the suction cup, strong as it is, will only work on a clean, smooth and flat surface. You DO NOT want this thing to suddenly detach from the wall, or wherever, and fall on you feet. It weighs nearly 3 lbs. It could break a toe and the fall would probably crack or destroy the hard plastic housing, and that would ruin the whole thing. I also experimented with adding a nice sized dollop of lube into the fingered insert before I started a session. I slathered the lube around a bit and replaced the cushion top. This way, when I slipped in my lubed up cock the rotating sensation delivered by the soft little fingers felt more like a blowjob than just a hand job. Fantastic!”
Full Review HERE!

This year we have a tie for the Best Product or Toy for Couples. First, here are Review Crew Members, Jack & Karen who bring us The Zini Donut

Jack & Karen
Karen: “There’s no getting around it, the Zini Donut is a winner!”
Jack: “Nothin’ like spilling the beans right out the gate, huh Karen? I thought we were gonna build up the suspense a bit first. You know, tease our audience with some of the particulars before we pass judgment.”
Karen: “Yeah, I know. Sorry! It’s just that I’m so jazzed about this product. I simply couldn’t help myself. Just look at it; it’s so adorable. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s fun, it’s functional, and it resembles one of my favorite foods.”
Jack: “So now that you know we absolutely love the Zini Donut, maybe we better double back and tell you what it is and why we like it so much. I’ll bet that you can tell by the name that the Zini Donut is shaped like a doughnut or bagel if you prefer. It’s about the same size too. It’s very unassuming when you see it sitting in its box, in fact you’d never guess at its versatility by just looking at it.”
Karen: “That’s why I was so wowed by the Zini Donut. Opening the stylish gift box, which by the way, makes for a beautiful presentation, the Zini Donut sits in its plastic shell. I went, ‘OK, that’s nice, I suppose, but what the heck is it?’”
Jack: “We knew we were in for a treat at first touch. The Zini Donut has a skin of silky silicone. And as you know, silicone is latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic. It’s our favorite sex toy material. Once out of the box we began to realize its potential. The Zini Donut is actually an amazing C-shaped vibe and both ends of the thing vibrate with independent motors, but they vibrate in unison. The shape has a bit of give to it so that I can easily fit it around my cock, for example. I can position it around the base of my dick, like a cockring, or at the head of my dick to stimulate my frenulum. I can even use it like a stroker. But, just out of the package, the ends of the vibe are fit snugly into a matching cuff, thus making the doughnut shape. What a brilliantly innovative concept!”
Karen: “And I can use the Zini Donut internally, which provides hands-free intense simultaneous stimulation to both my G-spot and my clit. Just be aware that, despite its flexibility, it immediately resumes its C shape. This creates a clamping sensation that may be too much for some women, but I love it. At the same time, the clamping action is ideal for use on either side of my clit and/or nipples. It can just as easily be used anally, providing P-spot and perineum stimulation simultaneously. The truth is that the Zini Donut can be use anywhere on the body to stimulate your naughty parts or soothe away muscle tension or a headache.”
Jack: “I know that there are still a lot of guys out there who resist the idea of vibrator use during partnered sex. And most of you guys resist because you have an outmoded notion about what vibrators look like. I know because I used to be one of those guys. I didn’t want Karen using a phallic shaped vibe to pleasure herself while we were having sex together. But then I was introduced to the vast array of couple oriented vibrators that don’t look like a cock, and I was sold. The Zini Donut is one such vibrator.”
Karen: “Jack already mentioned the dual motor. Their harmonized system of vibration offers 4 intensity levels and 15 distinct pulse patterns. The 3-button control panel is very easy to operate although it does take some finger pressure. There’s a (+) button that turns on the vibration and escalates the intensity, and a (–) button that deescalates the vibration intensity and turns it off. The (0) button, between the other two buttons, cycles through the pulse patterns. And this thing is super quiet; I mean, really, really quiet. It provides more of a buzzing sensation than a rumbling sensation, if that means anything to you.”
Jack: “The Zini Donut is both completely waterproof and rechargeable. It’s perfect for bath and shower use. There’s a tiny dimple near the top of the vibe, which serves as the recharge port. You insert the recharging USB cable there. When you withdraw the cable, after the charge, the dimple closes and creates a watertight seal. This is one of my favorite ways of recharging a toy. I like it better than a recharging stand that other high-end vibes are offering these days.”
Full Review HERE!

And finally… Kevin & Gina bring us — Revel Body Sonic Vibrator

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “Hello again! Kevin and I were just discussing how much we enjoy reviewing new and innovative products. There is just so much sameness everywhere you look these days; it’s so depressing. So much of what we see in the adult products marketplace is cookie cutter and thus kind of boring.”
Kevin: “We’ve become less and less interested in doing reviews of products that look like and perform like stuff we’ve already reviewed.”
Gina: “We were just saying to each other how much we prefer to review products that, one can immediately see, have been designed and manufactured by creative people thinking outside the box. In fact, we would choose to review those products, even if those products didn’t quite hit the mark, than something less creative and innovative.”
Kevin: “Yep! I have so much more respect for people who try something different and unique, even if it fails; than I do for people cranking out more of the same.”
Gina: “And this brings us to today’s product, the Body Sonic Vibrator by Revel. This is no ordinary vibrator, no! It’s sonic, and that’s a game changer. Your run of the mill vibrator uses a rotary motor, but the Revel Body Sonic Vibrator employs a revolutionary magnet-driven pulsing action that is nothing like the sensations delivered by a traditional rotary motor. Everything about this marvel is interesting. It’s orb shape fits comfortably in the palm of your hand. Its ergonomic controls are easy to operate. And it’s remarkably quiet. Despite its diminutive size, the vibrations are not transferred to your hand because there is only one moving part. The pulsing nub attachment on the end of the piston delivers pinpoint stimulation where and when you want it.”
Kevin: “The Body Sonic Vibrator is 100% waterproof. That’s the real submersible kinda waterproof, not that ridiculous splash proof kinda “waterproof.” It’s also rechargeable, which makes this a mighty GREEN machine.”
Gina: “The Body Sonic Vibrator is designed for external stimulation. The unique spherical shape, 8.25″ around, offers two means of stimulation—the protruding pink pad on the front side of it, and the concave indentation on the other side.”
Kevin: “Gina already mentioned that the Body Sonic Vibrator is magnet driven. That’s revolutionary, but it’s not without its concerns. The removable piston, the only moving part, is a very powerful magnet; it’ll attract anything nearby that’s metal. The hole through the vibe is also magnetized. This is potentially an issue for some people and other electronics. So much so that the Body Sonic Vibrator comes with a warning that it NOT be used or handled by persons wearing implanted or wearable electronic medical devices like pacemakers. And keep the magnets away from electronic storage devices including laptops, cell phones, and credit cards.”
Gina: “This is super important to remember when recharging the unit. It comes with a USB/plug recharger cord. So have a care if you are recharging near your computer. I decided to error on the side of caution and not risk damage to any of my electronics so I plugged the recharger into the wall, not my computer.”
Kevin: “The Body Sonic Vibrator comes with three unique attachments — Rose, Ever, and Fawn. (Two other attachments—Cona and Niko—can be purchased on the Revel site.) To remove the attachment, put your finger in the hole on the back of the toy and press on the piston. There will be resistance because of the aforementioned magnets, but it will pop free easy enough. Switch out your attachment; bring the piston close to the opening of the vibe and after a bit of resistance it will snap in place. It’s so cool.”
Gina: “Speaking of the piston motion, you have to be careful when using the Body Sonic Vibrator around body hair—pubes, chest hair, beards, hair on your head. I mention this because Kevin was using it on his temples to help with a headache and some of hair got pulled by the piston action.”
Kevin: “The Body Sonic Vibrator is covered in velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And all the pink attachments are made of silicone too. Of course this means that you can only use a water-based lube with this vibe. Because it is waterproof and made of silicone it’s easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing.”
Gina: “The Body Sonic Vibrator charges on its magnetic charging base, which features the USB cord and wall adapter that I already mentioned. Be sure that the contact area on both the unit and its base is dry before charging. I charge ours after every use.”
Kevin: “The Body Sonic Vibrator has a 3-button controller—power button, and a (+) and (-) button. The controls are easy to use with just one finger. There’s a. The memory-setting feature allows you to start at the same intensity as when it was last used. This is great because it eliminates the need to cycle through all the settings to find your favorite. I really like the one button on/off feature and it’s travel friendly too.”
Gina: “There are 10 “vibration” levels. I put the word vibration in quotes because the sensations the Body Sonic Vibrator are different than my traditional vibrators. On the lower settings the piston moves in and out more slowly producing a wonderful tapping sensation. You can even see the piston moving in and out. But on the higher settings the piston moves so fast that you can’s see the motion. These settings produce a buzzing sensation as opposed to the tapping sensation. I much prefer the lower settings to the higher settings. In fact, levels 6 thru 10 seemed pretty much the same to me. I also prefer the Fawn attachment to the other two.”
Kevin: “I agree with Gina, the slower settings provide more stimulation and I prefer that. Gina already mentioned me using the Body Sonic Vibrator on my head. I’m prone to migraine headaches and the tapping sensation on my forehead between my eyes and at my temples is fantastic. The best therapy for my headaches is a hot bath and the sensations the Body Sonic Vibrator provides.”
Gina: “Here’s something really innovative; you can reverse the piston so that the attachment is protruding from the indented side of the unit. The thing is, I actually prefer this configuration to the other. Like Kevin, I use the Body Sonic Vibrator most often in the bath.”
Kevin: “The vibe works best when very light pressure is applied. A heavy touch dulls the sensations.”
Full Review HERE!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OUR WINNERS!

December 21, 2014December 21, 2014

Happy Solstice!

Solstice is my holiday of choice among the array of the end of the year holidays. If you celebrate a different holiday, hurray for you. All I know is I had pie for breakfast!

December 19, 2014December 19, 2014

Winter Holiday Break

Hey sex fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew and I begin our Winter Holiday Break today. So yay for that!

Postings and whatnot will resume the first week in January.

December 15, 2014

Tricks Of The Trade — Part 4

Today I conclude this four part series that I started back in October. (You can Find the first three parts of this series HERE and HERE and HERE!

As you may recall, a friend of mine, who is writing a book about male sexuality for women, asked me if I could be her go-to-guy for a bunch of questions she had about pleasuring a man which she wants to include in her book. I think it is only fair that you, my loyal audience, should get this information before anyone else does.

SEX TOYS

Have you ever suggested to your clients that they use sex toys for men either solo or during (hetero) partner play?

Absolutely! And yes, for both solo play and for play with a partner.

Sometimes it’s difficult getting straight men to warm up to the idea of incorporating toys in partnered play. They can also be resistant to toys for solo play. Some straight men think toys are gay, or only for women. Some haven’t a large enough sexual repertoire to even imagine how toys could assist them or be fun. So generally I have my work cut out for me in this regard.

What are some benefits of using sex toys for men?

First off, they increase one’s sexual repertoire. They increase body awareness. Take prostate massage, for example. It’s fun, it’s healthful, and it’s enriching. The guy becomes less cock-centric and less ass-phobic.

And another toy I often recommend is a cockring. Check out my tutorial: Cockring Crash Course HERE! This is a low-tech aid for keeping it up and keeping it hard.

What are some of your favorite sex toys for men and why?

Gosh, there are so many. Probably my favorite manufacturer of sex toys for men these days is Perfect Fit Brand. Every one of their products that we’ve reviewed over the years is a winner. Want to know more about them? Perfect! Visit Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews, use the search function in the sidebar, type in “Perfect Fit Brand” and PRESTO!

Then there are the granddaddies of sex toys for men, the Fleshlight and FleshJack. Guys can actually learn how to last longer using one of these. And you know how I keep talkin’ about the mutual joys and the important information shared when a couple masturbates together, right? Well, this is the ideal masturbation toy for him.

The Aneros products are designed and developed by folks who are as serious about prostate health as they are about prostate pleasure. Listen, I’m all in favor of toys that have no other purpose than to dispense a good dose of the jollies. But if a fella can pleasure himself AND do himself some good health-wise…all at the same time; well that just about beats the pants off diddlin’ just for fun.

Check out the Zini Donut for couple play. It’s shaped like a doughnut or bagel if you prefer. It’s about the same size too. It’s very unassuming when you see it sitting in its box, in fact you’d never guess at its versatility by just looking at it. A closer look reveals that it’s actually an amazing C-shaped vibe and both ends of the thing vibrate with independent motors, but they vibrate in unison.

What’s the correlation between sticking a massager up your butt and prostate health? What good does this do?

Why is massaging any part of the body beneficial? It increases blood flow, relaxes, stimulates, reduces stress, (in the case of prostate massage, it reduces the discomfort associated with prostatitis). Massage also aids in healthy function of one’s prostate and associated glands, in the same way general massage assists other parts of one’s body in range of motion and overall limberness.

You’ve probably heard of the tee-shirt study that showed women have an attraction to men based on scent/pheromones/immune system variance. However I’m wondering if you can think of any studies where men were shown as being attracted to women on a similar basis.

I’ve read in a couple spots that men may not be influenced by pheromones/DNA variance because their goal is to spread their seed far and wide and hope for a good crop, whereas women need to be more selective since they will be carrying and ultimately caring for the offspring. This is all biologically speaking of course. I’m not sure if I buy that…do you?

I can’t point to any studies that show pheromones play an equally important part in male to female attraction and bonding. It is a very interesting question though. There’s got to be some studies out there on the effect of a woman’s perfume on men, wouldn’t you think? I mean, imagine if there is no connection at all; the multi-billion dollar perfume industry would be a joke.

I think that male pack animals are, for the most part, only interested in the scent of estrus. Since only dominant males get to breed, they don’t concern themselves with individual females, except in as much as they are part of his harem. Males who pair-bond for life may have other interests. But in that situation it is generally the female who does the choosing of a mate, not the male.

December 12, 2014

Hers and Hers, Part 2

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday, the final edition of 2014! And, like we promised last week, we go out with a bang with this our last Zini review. Look for all of our Zini reviews by going to drdicksextoyreviews.com, use the search function in the sidebar and type in “Zini.”

Dr Dick Review Crew partners, Joy & Dixie, are back again today to show and tell.

Zini Hua —— $150.00

Joy & Dixie
Joy: “Last week we introduced you to Dixie’s vibe, the Zook. Today is my turn and this is the Hua.”
Dixie: “You will also remember from last week that we told you that these two vibes are virtually twins in concept—stylized rabbit vibes; the only differences between the two are the contours of the pleasure points and the stiffness of the clit stimulating leaf.”
Joy: “The Hua is a slimmer version of the Zook, but to be frank, neither one is the least bit intimidating. The Hua has more texture to its insertable shaft then does its sister vibe, but, like its sister, it is sculpted to look like a bamboo shoot. The clit stimulator is reminiscent of a bamboo leaf, but, in this instance, it has considerably less give than does the same appendage on the Zook.”
Dixie: “This vibe, like its sister, is covered in a luscious, high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. Silicone is our material of choice for insertables. But don’t forget you must always use a water-based lube with a silicone toy the Hua. A silicone-based lube would mar the finish. The Hua comes in four different colors, Joy’s is a scrumptious violet, and the handle is glossy black.”
Joy: “The Hua, again like her sister, has two motors, which deliver five speeds and fifteen vibrating functions. The vibrations are the buzzy kind not the rumbling kind. The three-button control panel that is easy to handle and operate. The “+” button turns on the vibe and accelerates the speed through its five settings. The “-” button decelerates the speed and turns off the vibe. The round button between the other two rotates through the pulsation modes. Every press of the button makes the Hua flash a different color. And it is remarkably quiet.”
Dixie: “The vibe is about eight inches long. The insertable portion is about three and a half inches long. The clitoral leaf is about an inch long.”
Joy: “I’d like to return controller and vibrating functions for a bit if I may. The Hua, like the Zook, will alert you to how much charge is left in the battery, which is pretty cool. Press and hold the round button for two seconds, the vibrator will blink an LED color. The color of the LED corresponds to how much battery life your vibrator has left. I already mentioned that as you rotate through the vibration patterns the light in the controller changes color. All you have to do is remember the color associated with your favorite vibration pattern and you can go to it in a jiffy.”
Dixie: “Two other features make this vibe very appealing; it’s waterproof and rechargeable. The Hua comes with a USB recharging cable. It takes a couple of hours to fully charge the unit and you get several hours of pleasuring on a charge. Another thoughtful feature is the travel lock.”
Joy: “The recharge port seals with a watertight plug, but you have to be sure that the plug is set good and tight before submerging it in the bath or when cleaning.”
Dixie: “The fact that Hua is made of silicone and its fully waterproof makes it so easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. And it should be shared!”
Joy: “Like we said in last week’s review, the Zini packaging is exceptionally nice. Their vibes come in a distinguished looking black gift box and all the components are recyclable. Open the box and find the Hua in a plastic bubble. Under it you will find the recharge cable, owner’s manual, and an chic drawstring storage pouch.”
Dixie: “Last week Joy made a point of saying that stylized rabbit vibes, despite looking similar to one another are not all the same. I want to reinforce that thought again this week. One size or one shape does not fit all! Each of our bodies is different; what will work for me, won’t work for Joy and visa versa. There are so many variables — insertable length, curve of the shaft, length of the clit appendage, and on and on.”
Joy: “Exactly! While I really like everything about the Hua, it doesn’t really have enough oomph to get me off. But then again, I am not the intended audience for the Hua. I’m thinking it’s geared toward a woman, or a couple new to sex toys.”
Dixie: “And like last week, we want you to know that the Hua is just as handy and pleasurable in your butt. So all you folks out there experimenting with anal sex, we bet you will enjoy it too.”
Joy: “Let’s recap, shall we? Hua is body-safe, healthy, GREEN, rechargeable, waterproof, moderately powerful, and super quiet. The sad thing is, it’s not available anywhere in North America that we know of.”
Dixie: “I know! We can’t get over the fact that, for the most part, the wonderful Zini line is unavailable here in the US. I hope that changes soon.”
Joy & Dixie “On behalf of all the members of the Dr Dick Review Crew we want to wish all of you happy holidays and the best in the New Year.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

December 8, 2014

Tricks Of The Trade — Part 3

Today I return to a series I started back in October. (You can Find the first two parts of this series HERE and HERE!) As you may recall from back then, a friend of mine, who is writing a book about male sexuality for women, asked me if I could be her go-to-guy for a bunch of questions she had about pleasuring a man which she wants to include in her book. I think it is only fair that you, my loyal audience, should get this information before anyone else does.

COCK & BALLS

Does the concept of blue balls really exist? (With all of the tantric activity that goes on, I assume it’s more of a myth than anything else, but we would love to hear otherwise if I’m wrong!)

Yep, it’s slang for an actual condition — congested prostate or vasocongestion caused by prolonged sexual arousal. A dude’s balls and prostate will ache if an ejaculation/orgasm doesn’t dissipate the trapped blood that fills the vessels in his cock and surrounding genital area during sexual arousal.

During sexual arousal, a guys balls can increase in size 25-50 percent. This is particularly true for younger men; wouldn’t you just know it.

Are there any “secret spots” on the male body that we should know about, that aren’t on the penis or in the butt?

You know those two things on a guy’s chest? I think they’re called nipples. Some men’s nipples are hot wired to their dick. I know several men who are orgasmic through nipple play alone. Any man can learn to sensitize and find pleasure in their nipples or other parts of their body as well.

Are there any magical/mystical techniques that gay men have mastered that straight women should know about?

There sure are, but us gay men are sworn to secrecy about this. And I’m not about to break this sacred code of silence. However, every straight woman should have a good gay male friend that she can ask about things like this. Most gay men are not as discreet about this as I am. They will gladly tell you what they do to pleasure their men if you ask them. Get a gay friend, if you don’t already have one, and have the talk. You will be amazed.

What exactly is the Frenulum? Is there any biological purpose to it? Why is it so sensitive? And what should a girl do with it?

Actually a frenulum is a small fold of skin tissue that prevents an organ in the body from moving to far from a particular location. There are frenula at several points of the body, including several in the mouth, some in the digestive tract, a couple in the vagina, and, my favorite, the one on a guy’s cock.

This is an elastic band of tissue under the dickhead that connects to the foreskin, and helps cover the dickhead when not aroused. Sadly, the frenulum can be partially or even totally removed during circumcision.

Think of the frenulum as a guy’s feeble excuse for a clit. It’s loaded with nerve endings. If a chick wants to know what to do with a frenulum, all she has to do is ask herself what she likes having done to her clit.

Any tricks of the trade on what a gal should do with a man’s testicles? Anything that will really drive him wild?

Loads of guys like having their balls stretched. Guys have been stretching their balls for just about as long as us men folk have had balls to stretch…and that’s a mighty long time. The only thing that screams male virility and potency as much as a big dick is a pair of big low hangin’ nuts. In fact in many societies throughout history a man’s cajones were considered sacred. They were revered as objects of religious, social, cultural, and even magical power. In fact in ancient Rome, when a man would take an oath he would grab his balls, just like we put our hand on a bible today. In fact, some etymologists believe that’s where we got the word, “testify,” from the Latin: testis.

Men discovered early on that ball stretching was both erotic fun and relatively easy to do. Just to clarify…when I say ball stretching, what I really mean is sack (scrotum) stretching. One cannot really increase the size of his balls (testicles). Soon men in many societies were stretching their junk to call attention to their manliness. With the help of a stretching device of one sort or another, and there are several, men were able to lengthen their balls with very little effort.

A gal can help a guy do this. The simplest method, and you don’t even need no stinkin’ equipment for this, is called the manual method. All ya do is give your man’s huevos a nice sustained tug. Alternate your tugging with some nice ball massage. Over time this will help to lengthen his ball sack because you’re manually forcing it downward. The more you pull and the longer you pull, the more you will affect the hang of your guy’s balls. It’s also pretty sexually stimulating too.

This method is particularly effective after a hot bath or shower. His skin will be at its most pliable then. This method is safe and effective and even a rank amateur can pull it off, so to speak. This’ll be fun and pleasurable all on its one. Your guy will love that you are paying his balls some attention while you’re jerkin or suckin him off. And that will make him and his nuts much happier.

What are your thoughts on circumcision? We’ve read that it actually can cut off important nerve endings — is there any truth behind this?

I am completely opposed to infant circumcision. It is genital mutilation. And yes, it can and often does remove important nerve endings. (See question 4 above and read below.)

As to adult circumcision, I need to say one thing from the outset. It’s a particularly thorny issue for me. I firmly believe in the right of an adult to augment, adorn and embellish, or in any other way customize his or her body. Just as long as that person has taken enough time to think it through. At the same time I am a furious proponent of genital integrity. So you see my conflict.

There are, of course, medical reasons for adult circumcision.

Take a really close look at a foreskin. I mean a really close look. What do you see? Veins, right? If you pinch a foreskin between your thumb and forefinger as hard as you can; what happens? OUCH! Ya know why that is? A foreskin is just chock-full of nerve endings, darlin’. A foreskin contains about 240 feet of nerve fibers and tens of thousands of specialized nerve endings, which can feel the slightest pressure, the lightest touch, the smallest motion, the subtlest changes in temperature, and the finest gradations in texture.

In many ways, a foreskin is just like one’s eyelid. It covers, cleans, and protects a guy’s dickhead just like one’s eyelid covers, cleans, and protects one’s eye. A foreskin keeps the surface of a guy’s dickhead healthy, clean, shiny, warm, soft, moist, and sensitive. And there are a whole lot of us who think a foreskin is totally hot.

A foreskin is a specialized, sensitive, and functional organ of touch. No other part of the body serves the same purpose. Besides, if it’s cut off, it’ll remove 50% of the skin of the cock.

Finally, I’m of the mind that millions of years of evolution has provided men a covering for our dickhead for a purpose. And to remove it is simply unnatural.

December 5, 2014December 10, 2014

Hers and Hers, Part 1

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday! And we’re comin’ down to the last two reviews of the year. Both this week and next we will feature a Zini vibe. You are following these reviews, right? If not, I suggest that you do because they are doing some remarkable stuff. You can find all our reviews by going to drdicksextoyreviews.com, use the search function in the sidebar and type in “Zini.”

Dr Dick Review Crew partners, Joy & Dixie, are here to tell us about today’s pleasure product and they will return next week to review our last toy of the year too.

Zini Zook —— $150.00

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “So the reason that Joy and I are up two weeks in a row is that we have two very similar vibes to tell you about. They are both Zini vibes. They are virtually twins in concept—stylized rabbit vibes; the only difference between the two is contours of the pleasure points. If this seems a little vague at the moment, don’t worry, we’ll clear it up for you.”
Joy: “The two vibes in question are the Zook, today’s review, and the Hua, which we will tell you about next week.”
Dixie: “The Zook is a pleasure to look at and handle. Its sculptured, relatively slim shaft is vaguely reminiscent of a bamboo shoot and the clit stimulator is reminiscent of a bamboo leaf. The vibe is covered in a luscious, high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. You will want to use a fine water-based lube with the Zook, of course. Because you know that using a silicone-based lube with a silicone toy is a no-no, right? It will mar the finish. The Zook comes in three different colors, mine is dark wine.”
Joy: “The Zook employs two motors, which deliver five speeds and fifteen vibrating functions. The vibrations are the buzzy kind not the rumbling kind. And, like so many of the other Zini products the Dr Dick Review Crew has reviewed, it features a three-button control panel that is easy to use and understand. The “+” button turns on the vibe and accelerates the speed through its five settings. The “-” button decelerates the speed and turns off the vibe. The round button between the other two rotates through the pulsation modes. Every press of the button makes the Zook flash a different color. And it is remarkably quiet.”
Dixie: “I noticed while using the Zook that the vibrations are equally strong in the handle as it is in the insertable end. This may be a problem for some women, particularly older women have very sensitive hands.”
Joy: “Yes, it wasn’t a problem for me either, but you make a good point.”
Dixie: “The two other features that make this vibe so special are it is waterproof and rechargeable. This delights me no end. Another recent Zini review revealed that one of their other high-end vibes, the Roae, wasn’t waterproof and so it didn’t get as praise worthy a review as our review.”
Joy: “The Zook comes with a USB recharging cable. It takes a couple of hours to fully charge the unit and you get several hours of pleasuring on a charge. Another thoughtful feature is the travel lock. No surprises when you travel with this beauty.”
Dixie: “The fact that Zook is made of silicone and its fully waterproof makes it so easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. And it should be shared!”
Joy: “Each of our colleagues on the Dr Dick Review Crew, who have had the good fortune to review one of the Zini products, has called attention to the esthetically pleasing packaging. Dixie and I concur; it’s really very nice and ready for gift giving. Heck, it even comes with a very elegant drawstring storage pouch.”
Dixie: “I want to call attention to the recharge port, which is sealed with a watertight plug. Take care to ensure that the plug is set good and tight before submerging it in the bath…YUM!…or when cleaning.”
Joy: “Zook is the more girthy of the two vibes. The Hua, which will be reviewed next week, is sleeker. Zook’s leaf-shaped clitoral stimulator is more flexible than its sister, the Hua. This flexibility has its advantages and disadvantages. It’s soft to the touch, and if your clit is super sensitive, that might work for you. But if you’re used bearing down with some pressure on your clit, then this may be frustrating. I know I say this every time we review one of these stylized rabbit vibes, but it bears repeating. The one size or one shape fits all concept is a fiction. But then again, maybe that’s why there are so many styles and shapes out there. The trick is for each of us it to find precisely the right one that will pleasure us. And there are so many variables — insertable length, curve of the shaft, length of the clit vibe, and on and on.”
Dixie: “We wholehearted recommend the Zook, particularly for a woman new to vaginal and clitoral stimulation. We also want to let you know that the Zook is just as handy and pleasurable in your butt. So all you guys out there experimenting with anal sex, you will enjoy it too.”
Joy: “Let’s recap, shall we? Zook is body-safe, healthy, GREEN, rechargeable, waterproof, moderately powerful, and super quiet. The sad thing is, it’s not available anywhere in North America that we know of.”
Full Review HERE!