— Here’s What Experts Say
Various sections of the brain are activated during the Big O, including the limbic system.
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No matter your relationship status or sexual preference, we all want to experience orgasm during sex. And why not? Studies show one of the benefits of orgasm is shutting down the thinking and logical part of our brain; a vacation for the overthinker. Instead, we drift off into an ecstasy of pleasure, a feeling that has inspired poetry, art, and songs for centuries.
While we always remember the feeling, there is a relationship between orgasms, the human brain, and overall health from gynecological and neurological perspectives. And since orgasms have a major effect on the brain, we reached out to experts to ask a simple question: Can orgasms make you smarter?
It’s an especially important question given the persisting orgasm gap. A recent study published by the journal Sexual Medicine found that 82% of men reported orgasm during their most recent casual sexual encounter—compared with only 32% of women. Since the 1970s (the age of female sexual empowerment), resources and information revolving around women’s sexual health has increased. Yet while women may have reached the era of sexual liberation in America, the gap in orgasm satisfaction is still significant. But why?
When it comes to sex for heterosexual couples, studies show that women have a lower orgasm rate due to different definitions of pleasure and satisfaction. “One of the biggest reasons women may struggle to orgasm is a lack of clitoral stimulation,” says Aliyah Moore, a certified sex therapist with a PhD in gender and sexuality studies. The majority of women require direct or indirect clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, as the clitoris includes a large number of nerve endings that play an important part in sexual pleasure. Men prioritize penile-vaginal intercourse over more clitorally focused sexual activities. This seems to happen mainly in heterosexual relationships, as lesbian and bisexual women reported higher orgasm rates.
Another reason for the orgasm gap is the pressure of performance. “When women feel pressured—either by themselves or by their partner—to attain orgasm, it can cause tension, which makes it even more difficult. The emphasis switches from enjoying the sexual experience to satisfying an expectation, sometimes disrupting the natural rise to orgasm,” says Moore. Women also struggle to orgasm more with age due to hormonal changes, history of abuse, or chronic illnesses.
Low orgasm rates show there’s still more work to do in female sexual empowerment, especially since the deficit is depriving women of numerous health benefits. Ahead, neuroscientists and sex therapists break down how orgasms affect the brain, the physical benefits, and how to increase your orgasm rate overall.
Can orgasms make you smarter?
While there is not yet any concrete evidence that orgasms can boost intelligence, there is something to be said about what happens to the brain when a person reaches orgasm. According to research by Barry Komisaruk, PhD, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and professor at New Jersey’s Rutgers University, “more than 30 major brain systems are activated” during orgasm. Dr. Komisaruk specializes in identifying the brain regions that respond to genital stimulation to generate orgasm in women and men.
In a 2010 research study, Dr. Komisaruk found when a person reaches orgasm, various sections of the brain are activated, including the limbic system (responsible for memory) and the prefrontal cortex (responsible for problem-solving).
The brain produces waves of neurochemicals that activate brain regions during orgasm including the hypothalamic paraventricular nucleus, amygdala, hippocampus, and vagus nerve, among other places. These chemicals are released toward the spinal cord and increase brain activity. So while an orgasm won’t suddenly turn you into a genius, the neurochemicals released during this pleasurable experience can temporarily boost cognitive performance in certain areas.
What are the other benefits of orgasm?
Achieving orgasm regularly provides numerous physical benefits. While sexual activity has been known to release endorphins and oxytocin (resulting in feeling relaxed), orgasms through sex can help relieve menstrual pain, reduce stress, improve bladder control, and promote better sleep. In Dr. Komisaruk’s book The Science of Orgasms, women who engaged in sex during menstruation were less likely to develop endometriosis. It also helps regulate hormones, positively impacting mood and overall health. But that’s not all!
“Sex may also be associated with beauty, as it can increase levels of DHEA, a hormone which is thought to ward off depression and promote shiny hair, glowing skin, and bright eyes,” says Jessica O’Riley, PhD, a sexologist and relationship expert. “This explains the term sex glow.”
Regular sexual activity, whether with a partner or solitary, is associated with higher levels of estrogen, which is key for supporting skin health by increasing collagen and hyaluronic acid naturally. Sex is also a form of exercise and can help boost blood flow throughout the body, which helps reduce stress and has been linked with decreased risk of the common cold or flu and protection against viruses, including influenza.
How can you increase your orgasm rate for better health?
The answer is simple: solo play. Masturbation has been linked to an increase in positive body image and self-confidence when it comes to sex. Sofie Roos, licensed sexologist and couples therapist, suggests this is the first step to reaching sexual satisfaction and a consistent orgasm rate. “Discover yourself and understand your own body and how you can orgasm. Find what physical stimulation you need, such as what sex positions you like best, but also what angles, pressure, and pace you enjoy the most.”
If you’re not in a relationship and would prefer to fly solo, it doesn’t hurt to invest in a good vibrator. Companies like Kama, Omgyesa, and Quinn have taken the lead on sexual wellness, allowing women to experience sex in new and exciting ways.
If you’re in a relationship and want to increase your orgasm rate with your partner, the key is to have a real conversation about sex—not just dirty talk. “All couples have different ways of communicating around sex, and a great way to do it if you find it difficult is in places where you’re most comfortable, like a car ride or a walk,” says Roos.
This conversation can (and should) feel safe and open. “It helps to have a conversation starter to ease into the topic, like an icebreaker,” says Roos. “For example, you can say you saw an advertisement for this new couples’ sex toy that promised to give amazing orgasms and you’re curious to try it, or that you read about a sex position with a higher chance for women to orgasm—like cowgirl or doggy style—and ask if they want to try.”
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I see nothing wrong with that! Other than when you’re done fuckin’ him, or he’s done fuckin’ you, the next unlucky woman he happens upon will have twice the work. She’ll not only have to tell him the truth — that he sucks as a lover — but she’ll also have to contend with his ego. Thanks to you and your deception, he’ll be convinced that he’s a fabulous lover when, of course, he’s not.
How about just enough to get his dick hard?
As to the issue you present, it’s not particularly uncommon. Many people aren’t able to, or choose not to get off in partnered sex. And there are several common reasons why. Without going into detail about that, let me just ask one thing. Are you able to masturbate yourself to orgasm when you are with a partner, like you can do when you are alone? If so, maybe you could incorporate that into your sex play with a partner.
It’s a masculine thing for some guys; they absolutely will not eat out a girl no matter what. It’s not like they tried it a couple of times and just don’t like it; they simply won’t fuckin’ try it because they’re manly men. Don’t ya just love it?
In that podcast, I initiated a little code — you know, like the festive rainbow colored homeland security codes we’ve all come to know love. I’ll be referring to this code a lot, so it bears repeating. The Dr Dick Health Risk Code is simple. 1) Advised — 2) Advised with Minimal Risk — 3) Advised with Caution and 4) Not Advisable.
ejaculate when he uses either lotion or lube while either masturbating or when fucking you. Right? Does that mean he can masturbate to ejaculation just fine with a dry hand?So when you guys have sex, and he’s fucking you, and you cum, what happens next? Does he pull out of you, wipe off the lube and beat off till he cums?
First, it’s not unusual for a man not to cum as a top in anal (or vaginal) intercourse. Sometimes there’s simply not enough of the right kind of friction. If, for example, your BF is like another client of mine and his masturbation style is very vigorous, or like my client who is only able to cum by concentrating his manual stimulation on his frenulum, he’ll not cum in anal intercourse…or any intercourse for that matter. He has to get himself off by hand.
exceptionally enviable relationship. Also sounds like you have plenty of room for spicing things up too.It’s so interesting that you mention your BF’s fart incident. I’ve had other people tell me similar stories. Almost to the one, each reported that this single fart incident during sex, altered their entire sexual response cycle for years. Isn’t that amazing? Aren’t we incredible creatures?
Many people are able to perform sexually, while having difficulty with intimacy. When I see such a person in my therapy practice, I help my client overcome this rift by encouraging him to gradually increase the amount of intimacy he is comfortable with every sexual encounter. It’s a simple behavior modification thing.
While you may have enough in common to consume hours of internet time each week, (no big challenge there, you can train a chimp to do the same) the sex thing, or passion thing, or whatever else one calls it these days, simply isn’t there. And there’s no making it suddenly appear at this point in your association. Your internet “date” is not about to be dazzled by anything that isn’t highly combustible, regardless of how poorly this has served him in the past. Your method, on the other hand, ain’t getting you married either.
What a joy it was reading your e-mail.