Believe it or not, porn can strengthen your relationship
by Ashley Papa
[L]et’s face it, many believe that pornography ruins relationships by setting unrealistic expectations in the bedroom. It’s a sound argument. But it would only be fair to make an opposing case that in some ways porn can improve your sex life.
“Pornography can spark curiosity and open conversation between partners. It’s so easy to get into a routine with your significant other, and it can be hard to break out of that. Watching or reading erotica allows couples to explore sexual activities that they may be curious about,” says Polly Rodriguez, CEO of Unbound.
A study published in the journal Sexual Medicine even shows that watching at least 40 minutes of porn twice a week can boost your sex drive and your overall desire to have sex. Not to mention, it’s really hot to watch people have sex, and sharing this with someone you love can enable a deeply sensual experience.
Convinced enough? Here are nine ways to incorporate porn into your sex life.
1. Have an open & honest conversation about it
Talk about your desires and interests and set boundaries of what is and isn’t OK, suggests Rodriguez. “From there, only good things can happen if you’re open and honest with each other about what you’re curious to try.”
2. Use porn as a source for inspiration
Be it BDSM or role-play, Rodriquez explains that having an example you can both watch and learn from together helps to frame what it is you’re curious to try.
3. Expand your sexual repertoire
Talk about the type of porn or fantasy you like to watch. Girl on girl, threesomes, just oral… have you always wanted to try a certain position or sex act? “This is the chance to open up and be honest about what you may have been afraid to voice to your partner,” says Antonia Hall, a psychologist and award-winning author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
4. Don’t be judgmental
Your partner might like something you don’t, notes Alicia Sinclair, Founder and CEO of b-Vibe and Le Wand. “It’s important to find the common ground and make the process sexy.”
5. Start soft
Begin with something you know turns you both on. “Try something in the amateur or couples section. It’s probably not a good idea to start with a hardcore sex scene (unless you’re both already into that of course),” says Sinclair.
6. Find a website both of you enjoy
Send each other clips you want to watch together later. “I’m a personal fan of Bellesa (run by Michelle Shnaidman) because it’s a bit more sensual than what you’d find on one of the bigger tube sites,” says Rodriguez.
7. Let it put you in the mood
Before your sweetie gets home. Put on your favorite video, rub one out and let yourself get totally aroused. As soon as they walk through the door, you’ll be in full get-it-on mode.
8. Aim for quality content
Sinclair suggests, Trenchcoatx. “This porn-for-women site is run by two women and has tons of quality content. Plus, you’re supporting women making porn, which is kind of a win-win in my book,” she adds.
9. Make you own porn
Get creative and make your own erotic video. It’s a fun way to experiment, act and enjoy watching it together later on. Just make sure to use a digital camera and not your cell phone so you don’t have to worry about it accidently getting uploaded and can delete it at any time.
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