Category: TOYS / PORN

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You’re The Top

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday once again. And today we are lucky enough to have another LELO treasure for you to admire.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Brad discovers the meaning of a Pleasure Object.

BILLY —— $129.00

Brad
DAMN, this is the most expensive sex toy…I mean Pleasure Object I’ve ever seen. Before I got hooked up with the Dr Dick Review Crew I used to make all my own sex toys. You’d be amazed what you can do with some bubble wrap, Jell-O, a battery-powered toothbrush or a bar of soap. Now that I’m an official review crew member I’m getting the education of my life. You’ll probably laugh, but before I got this BILLY I had never hear of LELO.

I knew I was in for a treat just by looking at the packaging. Everything about it says elegant. The message on the package, translated into multiple languages, reads:BILLY is a gentleman’s G-spot massager for those who wish to explore a more energetic sensation within. Benefiting from an ergonomic design tailored precisely to the male form, he offers sustained control through five differing stimulation modes. Such versatility achieves breathtaking results, where vibrations may be kept mild during arousal, before increasing to the levels that excite his user most. Whether enjoyed individually or with a partner, BILLY is a highly discreet and satisfying companion, always primed to deliver the most intense and varied feelings of release.

That a fancy way of sayin’ — ya pop this sucker in your ass for a groovy prostate massage. Hey, can I ask you people to stop referring to a dude’s prostate as “a gentleman’s G-spot”? I think a P-spot is pretty fuckin lame, but “a gentleman’s G-spot” is absolutely ridiculous.

Now that I have that off my back I can get back to telling you about BILLY. It’s a relatively petite thing as far as insertables go. 6.5” total length; 4” insertable length; 3.25″ circumference and weighs in at just about a pound. This is clearly intended for the novice butt pirate.

It has a ridge on the velvety-smooth silicone insertable part that is designed to make BILLY safe for ass play. The whole toy will never accidentally slip all the way in your bum, which is a fear that many guys new to ass play have. I know I did.

The controls for BILLY are located in the handle, which is made of hard plastic. It has 7 power settings and 5 vibe patterns. Steady vibration, three speeds of intermittent vibration and a wave setting where the vibration oscillates between gentle and stronger vibrations. And the best thing is it’s rechargeable. There’s this little port in the tip of the handle that accepts the recharging unit. Pretty slick, huh? My battery budget was gettin outta control. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge. And it’ll last about 4 hours on a full charge. It even lets you know when it is time to recharge. The control dial will glow red, instead of white when pushed.

You’ll have to use lube with this toy. Trying to insert it anally without lube is just asking for trouble. But be sure you use only a water-based lube.

Figuring out the four-quadrant controller can be a challenge. For the life of me I couldn’t figure it out when first I tried. I thought it was a good idea to run through the different speeds and intensities before I popped it in my ass. But suddenly it just died. The white LED light was still on, but I couldn’t get it to vibrate. I thought for sure I fucked up this expensive toy. I put it away for a while so I could review the instructions. On my second attempt, a couple hours later, it miraculously came back to life, but only slowly. I have no idea what the fuck was up with that. Freaked me out though.

Once I had BILLY in my hole, I really liked the feel of it. But I had the damnedest time working the controller while it was in place. The hard plastic handle and control button are impossible to hold on to or manipulate with lubed up fingers and hands. And don’t even think about getting lube in the recharge port, because the thing will be toast for damn sure.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

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Well then…

Name: Stanford
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Green Bay
I was wondering if you have any suggestions for a homemade dildo?

Do you actually want to craft a dildo yourself? Or is this more a question about what might be readily available to safely bugger yourself with?

If you want to make one yourself, there are several “Make-your-own-dildo” kits out there. You can find them online. They supply you with everything you need to make a latex dildo cast of your own dong. And from that the dildo is made. How fun! But wait, what if you are princess tiny-meat? Cloning your you own willie will satisfy no one, no how. Unless you know someone with a more ample endowment that will lend you his hog for the mold, this is probably not the way for you to go.

A trip to the supermarket might be your next best bet. People have been stuffing fruits and vegetables in every possible orifice for as long as there have been fruits and vegetables…and orifices to stuff. Bananas, zucchini, corn cobs, cucumbers, and well the list goes on and on. One word of caution, make sure that whatever you’re poppin’ in your pooper is long enough that you can keep hold of it while you are workin’ your magic. You definitely don’t want it to let whatever slip past your sphincter and lodge itself inside your rectum. There’s nothing more embarrassing than a trip to the emergency room to have someone fish whatever you got in there out of you bum.

If you’re the least bit competent as a woodworker you could fashion something pleasurable from a hardwood, like maple or oak. The do-it-yourself craftsman will be able to make the exact size he needs and wants. He’ll take pride in sanding, buffing and curing his creation with olive oil before use.

No woodturning tools? Not to worry. A trip to the local Homo Depot may be the answer. Look for wooden dowels. They come in many widths and lengths. Since doweling is often made of a softer wood, the dildo craftsman will be able to round off the top of the dowel using a rasp with relative ease. But because the wood is soft, he’ll have to seal his creation in a smooth varathane or polyurethane finish. Never, ever insert uncured or unfinished wood. Besides the danger of splinters, untreated wood is very porous and you’ll never get the damned thing clean after the first use.

Another word of caution; some people are allergic to various materials or polishes. So test all materials first.

Here’s a dildo-making project just about anyone can do. Make your own beanie baby dildo. You will need several latex condoms, water based lube and whole dried beans or peas. Take a condom fill it with the dried beans and/or peas and tie off the end. Coat the condom with lube and slip it into another condom and tie that one off too. If you want to be super-safe, add a third condom. The beauty part of using dried peas or beans is that, should the condoms break while you’re pleasuring yourself and you lose some of the contents in your love cave, you’ll be able to eliminate them with ease with your next bowel movement. And there’s nothing toxic in dried beans!

But what if you want something more stiff? Building a dildo out of modeling clay might be the answer. You can find this material at your local crafts store. You can be very creative with the shape and size. You’ll also be able to flare the end of the thing so there won’t be a worry of it getting past your sphincter. Before the clay dries, consider pressing dried beans into the shaft for some added texture. Once your new phallus is completely dry you can finish it with a polyurethane seal. However, I encourage you to use a condom over your newly created cock substitute. Even with a sealed dildo like this one.

Name: Heidi & Werner
Gender: couple
Age: 32 & 34
Location: Arizona
My husband and I have been married for 12 years, we love each other very much. About five years into our marriage, while on a retreat for couples, we discovered we are both bisexual. As a consequence we gave each other permission to explore our same-sex interests. For the most part this has worked out really well. At this point in our marriage, however, we’d like to move beyond the casual semi-furtive affairs we’ve been having and embrace polyamory. Problem is we don’t know any other people who are living in successful polyamorous relationships. Is polyamory a viable option even for a few lucky souls?

Congratulations on living a successful marriage, especially since you guys are taking such a non-traditional approach. That can’t be easy. I wish there was a way the two you could bottle whatever it is that you apparently have in spades that allows you to make such an honest assessment of yourselves and your marriage. You must be remarkable people. I’m so glad that you took the time to write.

As a matter of fact, I know a bunch of very successful, long-lasting polyamorous relationships. Most are comprised of people already on the sexual fringe — queer folk, currant and former swingers and kinksters. However, they all tend to keep the dimensions of their relationships relatively private. It takes a lot of psychic energy to live polyamorously, exponentially more than in a traditional marriage. This tends to leave less psychic energy for flying in the face of the popular culture. Of course the down side of this is there are, as you suggest, few good public role models for polyamory.

Connecting with other like-minded people is less of a challenge these days than in years past thanks to the marvels of the internets, don’t cha know. And being bisexuals, as you are, my make things even easier. I suppose you know this already, but for those in my audience who don’t, polyamory is not the same thing as swinging. Swinging is more about recreational or sport sex; partners having consensual casual sex with others, either other couples or individuals. Swinging is also generally a heterosexual phenomenon. Female bisexual behavior is allowed and even encouraged. The same cannot be said about male bisexual behavior. This seems like an unfortunate double standard to me, but in this respect swinging reflects traditional sexual mores.

Polyamory, on the other hand, connotes more of an emotional bond, a relationship that exceeds pure sport fucking. But not surprisingly many polyamorous relationships evolve from more casual swinger connections. So let’s not knock that.

If you both are seriously into polyamory you’ll have an easier time of it too. The downfall of many budding polyamorists has to do with the reservations one or another in the couple may have about the lifestyle. The one with reservations may play along for a while thinking that this new venture will grow on him/her, but it doesn’t. Some folks are monogamous and it’s breed in the bone. Others are non-monogamous, equally breed in the bone. Trying to convert one or the other to an alternative way of thinking is simply not gonna happen.

The big bugaboo in any type of relationship will be jealousy. You guys seem to have avoided that poison, and again congratulations. The couples retreat you mentioned my have provided you the communication tools you needed to open yourselves to one another in an honest and forthright way. These communication skills will be particularly useful in forming polyamorous relationships too. Whatever the configuration of your future relationships, all parties must allow for and invite an honest and open exchange about passions, desires and needs. And from time to time each individual in the polyamorous relationship will prioritize these things differently. Expect lots of diversity. For more about this see my friend, polyamorous proDOM, Mistress Matisse’s column HERE!

There’s no “one way” to be polyamorous. Some people express their polyamory by having one primary partnership with one or more satellite relationships. They prefer monogamy with one partner but have an open relationship with others. Some polyamorists live in triads or loosely structured groups. Some people express their polyamory by having all partners and lovers as part of an extended family— raising kids together and taking care of elders together. Strong polyamorous relationships carried a number of my closest friends through the worst of the AIDS crisis in the mid 80’s. While you guys seem pretty clear on what you want for yourselves, you may want to be on the lookout for potential partners with incompatible passions needs and desires.

As we all know, a big part of effective communication in a relationship is exploring and expressing feelings. Another part, one that is often overlooked, is the art of negotiation. How do partners and lovers negotiate for what they need and want? “I want to try something new with someone new.” “My lover and I need some private time.” Mature people are flexible, but they also have healthy boundaries. Giving your partner the freedom to share him/herself intimately with others as he/she desires is easier when it is based on the guidelines that you and your partner agree to first. Of course these will need to be readjusted from time to time as new situations evolve.

A secret to successful polyamory is working to maintain a strong primary partnership, in your case, with each other. The more comfortable and secure you guys are with one another, the easier it will be for you to free one another up for others. When the primary relationship is healthy and safe, the polyamorous relationship will add to the support structure, not diminishes it.

Interestingly enough, not all polyamorous relationships are sexual in nature. For example, one person in the group relationship may have a sexual connection with another, while that person enjoys a platonic relationship with that someone else.

One thing for certain, you guys will have to decide what sort of people will be positive additions to your lives. And that will entail a good deal of trial and error. Like my daddy always used to say, “ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.” Remember not everyone who aspires to polyamory is capable of it, nor is everyone one who is capable of being polyamorous suited to be with everyone else who is.

For more about this timely topic I refer you to the two podcasts I did with the insanely marvelous Cunning Minx of PolyWeekly. Look for them HERE and HERE!

Good luck ya’ll

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Dr Love

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. Following the trend of the last few weeks we have the pleasure of welcoming a new product line by a new manufacturer…well new to us anyhow. Welcome Futuring International Ltd; a German company that manufacturers fine personal lubricants.

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Ken & Denise and Mick & Chuck will introduce you to these new lube products.

Dr.Love Silkening Lubricant —— $21.99

Ken & Denise
Ken: “This is sure enough a German product. You can tell by just looking at the package. The fine print comes in three languages; the primary one is German. I think they used a computer program for the translation into English.”
Denise: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Ken: “Nothing really. Just making a point about authenticity. This is the real deal. Oh and remember when we first looked at the package we weren’t able to tell what kind of lube it was?”
Denise: “Right! Nothing on the package says silicone-based. So we were a bit confused at first. The promotional materials that came with Dr.Love spelled it out, but there was nothing on the package that says so. And it’s important to know that sort of thing, because you wouldn’t want to use this lube with silicone toys. Maybe they just need to add a little stick-on label that says silicone-based. Just a thought.”
Ken: “Dr.Love is a lighter consistency than some of the other silicone-based lubes I’ve used. But it is thicker than your average water-based lube. It’s really silky to the touch and it has plenty of glide. You can tell it’s a quality lube, because you only need a little bit to make things slick as shit. And it’s a slick feeling, not a greasy feeling. There is a big difference, ya know.”
Denise: “There’s no significant smell or taste, which is very appealing to me. It’s also latex and condom safe.”
Ken: “Dr.Love stands up to water very nicely, so it’s great to use in the shower. I love to squeeze one off in shower in the morning, so this a perfect lube for that. You’ll need soap and water for a thorough cleanup.”
Denise: “I thought it dried out a bit quicker than other silicone-based lubes we’ve tried especially when we do anal. But when I use it by myself for self-pleasuring, either with my hand or a toy, it last and lasts. I don’t understand why the discrepancy, but there ya have it.”
Ken: “We used Dr.Love in place of massage oil too and loved it. It feels great on our skin.”
Denise: “And I even used it on my hair as a conditioner; so there’s that. In fact, we went through our 3.4 fl.oz. container in less than a month. So you know we loved this stuff.”
Full Review HERE

Get MAXXX —— $21.99

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Our package of Get MAXXX clearly states: ‘purest silicon (sic) lubricant, Made in Germany.’ So we weren’t the least bit confused as to what kind of lube this was.”
Chuck: “We thought Get MAXXX worked best during our stroke sessions. It lubricates without reducing sensation and that’s important when we have one of our marathon sessions.”
Mick: “Yeah, we try to see who can outlast the other. So this is the perfect lube for those edging contests.”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX is long lasting and remains slick and silky, which makes fucking a joy. I hate it when lubes get sticky! It’s completely hypoallergenic too. Ya gotta love that. I love the pump container.”
Mick: “Remember, silicone-based lubes and silicone toys don’t mix!”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX has no discernable taste and it’s odorless.”
Mick: “It has a surprisingly light consistency, but like I’ve already mentioned; it holds up really well when things get hot and heavy.”
Chuck: “This stuff is fantastic with our glass dildos. It’s also latex and condom safe.”
Mick: “Get MAXXX is about as health-conscious a lube as you will find anywhere. It stands up great to water (think shower, hot tub, whatever). My skin actually feels better after I use this stuff. I love it.”
Chuck: “Back to the packaging; the pump top can be locked by twisting it while it’s in the up position. It also comes with a plastic top lock that covers the spout to keep the lube from accidentally leaking out all over the place. That’s a real thoughtful addition, I can tell ya. I’ve had the misfortune of having a lube bottle open all over my toy box once. I was fuckin mad as hell.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

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Puttin on the Ritz

Hey sex fans!

I’m delighted to welcome two distinguished new manufacturers to Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews — VirtuallyAdult and RubyGlass21.  They’ve come up with an exquisite line of glass butt plugs that will both dazzle and delight.

Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug —— $79.98

Dr Dick
Friends, are you tired of not having anything dazzling to wear on those special occasions when you want to look and feel your best?  Ya know, like when you’re runnin’ the Hoover, taking out the trash (rubbish or BF), or pickin out something butch at Home Depot?  Well dear readers, I have just the thing for you.  Lookie here!  It’s a Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, or butt plug if you prefer.  This is no ordinary plug, no siree; it’s bejeweled!  So it will dress up any outfit, or no outfit at all.

That’s right, sex fans, I’m wearing mine now!  Because, like you, I want to have a smile on my face and a spring in my step when I face all of life’s tedious tasks like typing this review, laundering my unmentionables or cookin’ up a mess of grits for the church social.  And the beauty part of this little stunner is that no one would ever guess I’m enjoying a butt-load of delicious pleasure unless they turned me upside down and discovered the authentic Swarovski crystal rockin out where the sun don’t shine.

My Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is a high quality, hand crafted ultra smooth Pyrex glass insertable manufactured by RubyGlass21 and customized by VirtuallyAdult.  The plug features a petite spade-shaped head with a maximum diameter of no more than an inch.  This sits gracefully atop an unusually long 2” stem that finally flares out to make the base, in which is embedded the sapphire-like crystal.  The Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is about 5 inches tall and weighs in at approximately 6 ounces.  I say the stem is unusually long, because most all the other plugs I’ve seen and/or used are squatter.  Now that I’ve tried both, I tend to like the longer-stemmed plug even better than the shorter ones.  And god knows I love the shorter ones a lot.  I’m also thinkin that this lovely would rock out as a pussy plug too.  Imagine the luscious G-spot massage you’d get with each and every step you take.

Everyone has a butthole and the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is an equal opportunity pleasure plug.  That being said, I want to address the rest of my comments to my fellow prostate owners.  You know how passionate I am about prostate health and prostate self-awareness, right?   Well I am of the mind that every guy oughta own at least one butt plug and use it regularly.  Beside the pleasure it delivers it has verifiable health benefits.

A plug will massage your P-spot and that’s a big part of a maintaining prostate health.  And for us more senior men, and the heartbreak of enlarged prostate we so frequently suffer, butt plug therapy can help there too.  I mean I’m all in favor of toys that have no other purpose than to dispense a good dose of the jollies.  But if a fella can pleasure himself AND do himself some good health-wise…all at the same time; well that just about beats the pants off diddlin’ just for fun.  Right?

Those of you who regularly follow our reviews will know that all the Dr Dick Review Crew loves us some glass toys.  They’re gorgeous, of course, but that’s only the beginning.  They are versatile too.  You can warm and chill beautiful art glass toys, like the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, for added sensations.  And you can use any kind of lube you want.  You’ll only need little bit too, because glass gets real slick with just a dab of lube.  The petite head on this baby will slip effortlessly into your bum and stay put for hours of glorious backdoor recreation.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

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Satisfaction

Sex Fans,

It’s Product Review Friday once again and the Dr Dick Review Crew is about to bring you some might fine stuff.

A couple of weeks ago we introduced you to one of our newest manufacturers — Blush Novelties and their Eve’s Rabbit.

Today Joy walks us around another fine Blush Novelties massager.

And just in time for National Condom Week February 14-21, Brad has some amazing condoms from Sweden, called RFSU condoms to tell you about.  You’re gonna love these!

Magic Massager —12 Function, 3 Attachments  —— $46.30

Joy
Can you believe it’s 2010 already?  I’ve been a Review Crew member for two and a half years.  And in that time I’ve had the pleasure of introducing you to a load of great products, but also some not so great as well.

Today’s review falls squarely into the great product category.  I want to tell you about the Magic Massager from Blush Novelties.  This thing is phenomenal.  It’s a mini-wand type of vibrator; it’s only about 8 inches long from tip to tail.  It’s powered by 4 AA batteries (not included in the package).

One would expect a diminutive vibe like this to carry only 2 AA batteries, right?  Well, maybe it’s the two extra batteries, but whatever it is this thing is the strongest vibrator, per inch, I have ever used.  It rocks my world, baby!

It features a 12-mode vibration system with a LED control panel.  Can ya stand it?  I mean, come on; that’s freakin overkill, ain’t it?  Honestly, the first time I had the Magic Massagerworking its …ahhh magic on my girly parts, I couldn’t honestly say I got beyond the first 5 modes before I got off TWICE!   It’s that great.  When I took the time to investigate all the modes, I was able to distinguish between all the vibration functions.  There’s this one, #9 I think, that is totally crazy.  It feels like the thing is running out of power and just when you think it’s gonna die it come roaring back to life.  Loved it!  And even when the Magic Massager is rockin out, it’s pretty quiet.

One thing to note, the user has to cycle through all of the modes to get to the one she likes the best.  But there is an off button that stops the vibe altogether, which is much appreciated.

The Magic Massager comes with 3 soft and pliable attachments — a dome shape, a flat grooved shape and a beaded shape.  The beaded shape is my favorite.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information on the package about what the attachments are made of.  I am pretty sure it’s not silicone.  I used a silicone-based lube with it and it appears to be fine.  (Note to manufacturer:  it’s always a good idea to include information on the materials used in producing the toy.  This helps the consumer make an educated decision on if it is right for her/him.)

Besides the vibrating functions and the three attachments, this puppy is waterproof.  And anyone who follows my reviews knows I’m all about bringing toys to the bath.
Full Review HERE

Next up we have two styles of RFSU condoms for review.  They come to us courtesy of our friends at O!Zone Condoms, the exclusive American importer of RFSU condoms from Sweden.

Okeido 3-Pack  —— $6.00

Brad
I’m not one of those guys who throws a hissy fit over having to wear a condom when I fuck.  I happen to think it’s a sign of respect to the lady I’m about to bone.  She doesn’t always know where my johnson has been and I rarely know where her meatpie has been.  So it just makes sense.  I mean, the more of a big deal ya make about this simple health and safety thing the more of a douchebag you are.  So fuckin get over it already.

Today I have the pleasure of introducing you to two of the amazing RFSU condoms.  The first is Okeido.  I don’t know what that mean, or even if it has a meaning.  Maybe it’s Swedish for abbondanza.  Ok, so here’s the deal.  Okeido is a slightly larger sheath for us bigger boys — length 190 mm., width 53 mm. They’re silky to the touch, silicone-lubed, ultra-thin, have a fuller reservoir tip and they’re a perfect fit.

This Swedish company, RFSU (the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education), is known for their stringent quality testing as well as for their pleasure-enhancing designs.  Here, here!

And here’s something I’ve never seen before.  These rubbers are vegan!  I suppose you’re gonna ask; what makes a condom vegan?  Well, I’ll tell ya; the Vegan Action Foundation certifies that no animal products of any kind were used in the manufacturing of these condoms nor were any animals used in product testing.  This makes them a bit pricier than your run of the mill condoms.  But you’re not gonna get greener than this and they make for an integral component of a cruelty-free lifestyle!  And that is totally my style.

Birds ‘N Bees 3- Pack  —— $6.00

These babies, like their Okeido siblings, are also vegan.  They’re silky to the touch, silicone-lubed, ultra-thin and have a reservoir tip.

The Birds ‘N Bees style is ribbed and bumped for added sensations.  Mmmm, ribbed and bumped!  I actually have a preference for a textured condom.  But these are not quite as roomy as the Okeido — length 185 mm., width 52 mm.  They’re not uncomfortable, mind you, just snug. These would be idea for the man with an average endowment.

Now all we have to do is get them to make a ribbed and bumped version of the larger condoms.

Despite the fact that these are vegan, they are still latex.  So you folks out there with a latex sensitivity need to look elsewhere.  And for god sake, guys, use a personal lube when you groovin’, especially when you’re wearing a glove.  And make sure it’s water-based or silicone-based though.  Oil-based lube and latex condoms do not mix.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

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ELBOW GREASE, Part 1

Hey sex fans,

It’s product review Friday!

Not only do we welcome a new manufacturer today, ELBOW GREASE, we have a new Dr Dick Review Crew member to introduce.

Please join me in welcoming Jack Cascade. Read about his personal journey as a single man living a year without sex HERE!  He hastens to add that masturbation is allowed and encouraged.

ELBOW GREASE Light —— $4.75

[editors note:  I want to say a word about the ELBOW GREASE company’s background.  It was founded back in 1979, long before the onset of the AIDS crisis and thus the pressing need for condoms.  So these folks were one of the pioneers of the personal lube phenomenon.  Back then, gay men were more likely to use Crisco as a lubricant for their intense fuck sessions.  This became a huge problem, because Crisco, if not stored properly, would go rancid in time.  And when it did, you, your partner(s), your sheets and your bedroom would stink like week old french-fries.  Trust me, it wasn’t pleasant.  Happily, Elbow Grease Original Cream put an end to that annoying sexual faux pas when it exploded onto the market.  Finally, we had an alternative to a vat of smelly vegetable shortening rotting under the bed.  ELBOW GREASE is greaseless and odorless, but still thick and creamy.  It revolutionized the way we had partnered sex as well as simply jerkin off.  Without further ado here’s Jack.]

Jack Cascade*
For review purposes, the Elbow Grease people sent us a 1 oz container of their ELBOW GREASE Light.

I must admit that I’m not a big fan of mineral-based cream lubricants. If it’s thick and creamy, I just feel like it belongs on my face. Before you get any brilliant visual images, I’m talking about Noxzema. My mother uses it religiously on her own face. Though she swears by it, I never adopted the habit. Needless to say, the association of mom when I pop open a canister of creamy lube is dis-engorging to say the least. Furthermore, why lather on a thick cream, unless there’s a fun way to get it off. Now forget about mom and visualize that facial you were thinking about before.

I may have to start a new devotion to ELBOW GREASE Light formula. One liberal application to your cock and I bet you won’t last as long as the lubricant. Silly me, I tried this creamy stuff on a latex condom suited toy without much luck. They just don’t seem to be made for each other. And guess what? Actually they’re not. Who reads labels before taking the plunge? Not me!
Full Review HERE
ELBOW GREASE Hot —— $4.75

Jack Cascade*
The promotional claim reads: ELBOW GREASE Hot Cream is of the same thick consistency as the Original formula but, it heats up! The Hot formula is a mineral oil-based, warming, thick cream lubricant. It stands beside its Original brother as the oldest warming cream formula on the market today. The warming agent in our formula is menthol.

For review purposes, the long-established Elbow Grease people sent us a 1 oz container of their ELBOW GREASE Hot.


I want to know who the hell thought it’d be a good idea to promote the sensation of burning to a throbbing cock. Some sadist, perhaps? For most men out there, the thought of heat and burning anywhere near our precious penis is enough to shut down the erector set and make us want to put the toys away. The fact that the active ingredient to create the “warming” sensation in ELBOW GREASE Hot is menthol seems to be quite the misnomer.

Whatever brilliant mind came up with this marketing mistake needs to be shot at dawn. Whatever happened to menthol being associated with sensations of fresh and, I don’t know, cool? The real benefit of ELBOW GREASE Hot has yet to be marketed. However, I’m pretty proud that I was able to find some enjoyable uses for this stuff. First off, forget about using it to jack off or to fuck with.

The real titillation comes when you apply a liberal amount, rub in, wait a couple of minutes while the menthol works its magic. Ok, ok so it does work on your dick. But the second time I used ELBOW GREASE Hot lubricant, I slathered it on my balls and perineum, then waited a bit. Within minutes, an intense tingling, COOLING sensation (some may consider this a warming sensation) had my cock harder than before. However, I kept it off my shaft. Here’s the key to using this product: don’t be afraid to experiment.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

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Turbo charged

Hey sex fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew springs back into action.  After our long holiday hiatus, we’re now restocked with a slew of new products that we will be telling you about in the weeks and months to come.

We welcome a brand new manufacturer today — Blush Novelties. Our very own, goth chick and budding fem Dom, Christa starts off 2010 with a bang.

Eve’s Rabbit —— $43.00

Christa

Eve’s Rabbit is freakin wild!  It is11 inches long; there’s not one single thing that’s sleek, stylish or girly about it.  It weighs in at a hefty 1.5lbs, when loaded with the four AA batteries you need to power this behemoth.  (The batteries are not included; so there’s that.)  And damn, if this thing doesn’t do everything but mow the lawn.  I mean Eve’s Rabbit is a serious industrial strength vibe.

When I want to get off in a hurry, I always choose a rabbit vibe.  I need clit stimulation, or fugetaboutit!  When I’m gettin my self off with just my hands, I always finger my cunt as I rub my clit.  Eve’s Rabbit allows me to fuck myself and get the clit flutter action I desire all at the same time.  And get this; there are 4 rotating speeds and 7 vibrating speeds and they work independent of one another, which is kinda cool.  It also has a simple on/off switch that brings the thing to rest without having to cycle through all the speed options.  I like that.

The control panel is pretty straight forward — on/off button; vibe pattern button and independent speed buttons for increasing and decreasing the speed.  The insertable shaft is made of a translucent jelly type of material.  In the past, I’ve tended to avoid jelly like materials because of phthalates.  But the Eve’s Rabbit package says it’s phthalate free; latex free too.  So I guess we’ll just have to trust them on that.
Full Review HERE

Good Luck

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Some assembly required!

Hi Dr Dick,
Happy (belated) New Year! I have two questions for you:
1. I am taking a long time to cum when I’m given a blowjob or hand job and eventually I need to stroke off on my own (for a pretty long time as well). However, I cum pretty quickly when I masturbate while watching porn. Am I masturbating to porn too much? I have also masturbated to porn for years before I started having sex recently (I’m not sure whether this could be a reason as well).
2. You mention that we shouldn’t use soup while cleaning our anus. Why is that so? I just read about douching but I have been cleaning my anus with warm water, soap, and finger. Is that ok?
Thanks in advance!  — Ken

Can’t hardly say if you are masturbating to porn too much.  I mean, what is too much anyway?  And since you don’t go into detail; I’ll let that issue rest.

What I can tell you is that partnered sex, regardless of the activity (blowjobs, hand jobs or full-on fucking) is a whole lot different than solo sex (with or without porn).  I can also assure you that your body has become sensitized to your particular grip and stroke over the years of you pullin your own pud.  Another person’s grip and stroke (pussy or asshole) will rarely satisfy in the same efficient manner.  This is not a bad thing, necessarily, but you do have to keep that in mind.  And perhaps your sexual response will change with time as you enjoy more and varied partnered sex.

In terms of you taking too long (whatever that means) to cum when you are with a partner, maybe you need to quit trying so hard to get off and lay back and enjoy the sensations you’re getting from your partner.  And here’s a tip; use your biggest sex organ, your brain, to replay some of that hot porn action in your head while you are gettin head.  That will surely hasten things along, if ya know what I mean.

In terms of your next question about keeping your hole clean; you may have misunderstood previous comments I’ve made about anal douching.  Soap and water is the preferred method of keeping the outside of your ass clean.  And while you’re scrubbin’ your crack, you could use your fingertip to clean out your rosebud.  But don’t force soap beyond your sphincter.  You have delicate membranes in your rectum that will be irritated by the soap, even a mild soap.

If you need to douche, I suggest a solution of a few drops of lemon juice in warm water.   Some men prefer the convenience of a shower bidet.

Name: Mike P
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Los Angeles
My girlfriend needs to watch lesbian porn to get off and sometimes kicks me out of the bedroom to masturbate by herself.  Initially I was turned on by her desire to watch porn — but now — it’s become a blockage.  She always needs porn.  I am frustrated and to make things worse — she has started abusing me through financial manipulation. I have to pay her rent — pay for her food, pay everything — and she never gives me nookie.
Should I leave this woman?

Time to wake up, fella!  Your “girlfriend” — and I use that term very loosely — is decidedly not YOUR girlfriend, and possibly not any man’s girlfriend.  I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say; I think your “girlfriend” is a certifiable, died-in-the wool, muff-divin’, coochie-lovin’ lesbiterian.  All that remains for her to do, to make the picture perfectly clear…even for you, is to show up one day in a mullet and a flannel shirt.  Holy cow, Mike, how is it that you are missing the obvious?

Listen, bub, you’re excess baggage.  Your “friend” keeps you around for comic relief…oh and to foot the bill.

Should you leave this woman; you ask.  Honey, she’s beaten you to the punch on that one.  She’s long gone and done left you way behind, at least emotionally and sexually.  All you need to do is find the door, say good-bye to this sorry situation and make a hasty exit.

Name: Michelle
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Location: Canada
Tips to help when the man you’re sleeping with has a small penis.

Tips?  No pun intended, I hope.

Ok, here goes — Tip #1, grin and bear it.  Tip #2, find a guy with more pork.  Tip #3, get a dildo.  Tip #4, find a sexual position, like doggie style, that will make the most of every little bit of pecker the poor guy’s got.  Tip #5, remember it ain’t always da meat, but it is always da motion.

Ok, seriously I do have a couple of suggestions beyond the flippant ones I just mentioned.  For example, Tip #3 still stands.  Find yourself a dildo, one that your partner can wield when he’s around.  If you introduce the concept in a positive way, you may find that Mr. Mini-meat will go for it big time.  You see, most guys with small endowments already know they may have a problem satisfying some women (or men for that matter).  But most guys, regardless of cock size, are always interested in pleasuring their partner, even when it’s not with their own magic wand.

May I suggest that you check out the swell array of dildos available at Dr Dick’s Stockroom?  You’ll find a link to this treasure trove on the top of this page.  Hey, you may even want to shop online together.  You may be surprised at the one your guy picks out for you.

While you lovebirds are checking out the dildo section at Dr Dick’s Stockroom, take a moment to search for a Cyberskin Penis Extension.

You’re gonna love this.  The new Cyberskin line of products represents a significant advance in pecker extensions that feel like the real thing. The rubber on the surface of this extension feels hauntingly like human skin. But the inside part of the (1.5″ or 3″) extension is much firmer.  It is soft and supple on the surface, but hard and rigid inside.  Mmmm, hard and rigid!

Visually, the shape, texture, and coloration of these extensions are designed to create a realistic effect as well.  They look realistic and they feel realistic.

There’s a trick to putting on one of these puppies, don’t ‘cha know.  You roll up the sleeve until it’s all the way up around the extension. Then place it against the head of your guy’s stiff dick.  Roll the bugger down snugly around his unit, sealing his peanut inside the sleeve.  A partial seal will form, helping keep the extension on during the fuck-fest.

Wearing this extension will add both length and thickness to his precious willie. It will of course reduce the sensation in his cock, but that’s not always bad thing.  Guys with a short fuse may find the decrease in stimulation an aid to controlling his ejaculation, while he’s giving more and longer pleasure to his partner.  And a lot of guys love the feeling of having their cock sealed inside the rubbery sleeve.  Mmmm, sealed inside rubbery sleeve!

Name: Jack
Gender: Male
Age: 42
Location: Milwaukee
I’ve been dating this guy for over a year.  He is the love of my life.  I love him so much, but he treats me like shit.  I met him on vacation in Florida.  He’s 26 a stunning, 6’3” 200lbs, blond surfer Adonis.  And excuse me for being so graphic; he has the biggest dick I’d ever seen.  The first time we had sex I saw stars.  He filled me up like no other person has.
When I got home we exchanged emails nearly every day and even had some hot phone sex a couple of times.  He was down on his luck, because he lost his barista job for coming to work stoned too many times.  I know I shouldn’t have, but I invited him to come live with me.  I flew him up, but I told him that this wouldn’t be a free ride, he’d have to stop smoking so much dope and get a job and he agreed.
The sex was fantastic for the first couple of months, but once he established himself as a star at the gym he found his own friends and now I don’t see too much of him.  He eats my food and drinks my liquor and drives my car.  I pay for his cloths and gym membership.  He has yet to find a job.
I know I should just end it, but I love him and I would really miss the sex.  My friends ridicule me for thinking he loves me as much as I love him.  They tell me they know he sees other guys.  I’m so turned around I don’t know what to do.

Like my momma always used to say:  if it’s got wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have problems with it.  And I would add, if it’s got big wheels or a big dick you know you’re gonna have BIG problems with it.

Before we turn our attention to your no good boyfriend, let me make a few quick observations about you.  You’re a freakin’ mess, girlfriend! I mean really, you’ve broken all the cardinal rules about dating a hustler.  I know, I can hear you now…oh no Dr Dick, he’s not a hustler; he’s a good kid who’s just down on his luck and I’m just trying to help.  Bullshit!

Ya see, that’s the first cardinal rule of dating a hustler is never lose sight of the fact that he’s a hustler and you’re his john.  Don’t get me wrong; I have the deepest admiration for hustlers and their johns.  It’s just that this arrangement only works if everyone is clear about the ground rules.   And here are the ground rules — rich older gentleman connects with needy younger hunky stud for mutual benefit.  Rich older gentleman keeps needy younger hunky stud in room and board, booze, cloths, car, gym membership and the like; and needy younger hunky stud buggers rich older gentleman senseless with his big blond surfer-boy dick.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!

Second cardinal rule — what happens on vacation should stay on vacation.  Vacation sex, as wonderful and delicious as it may be, does not transplant very well to your non-vacation life.  You’re more likely to have success transplanting a delicate tropical orchid to your Milwaukee backyard than transplanting a vacation hustler fuck to your work-a-day world back home.

Third cardinal rule —don’t try to gloss a perfectly fine, fully functional and even an affectionate hustler/john relationship with talk of love.  It’s unnecessary, unseemly and untrue.  It’s lust, it’s limerence, it’s love sickness, whatever…it’s just not love.  Because LOVE don’t ever make you feel as bad as you’re feelin’.  Probably your friends would have less difficulty with your mooning over this guy if you were more honest about the nature of this relationship.  They wouldn’t be rubbing your face in the evidence that surfer-boy is pluggin’ other dudes.

Fourth cardinal rule — a size queen, like you Jack, should admit that you are enamored with the guy hose and how it fills you up plain and simple.  To pretend that you would string yourself out like this for a guy with tiny meat is just that — pretense.  Listen, there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ a size queen, it’s the dishonesty I object to.

How is this young fella ever supposed to respect you when you don’t respect for yourself?  He probably had you pegged (no pun intended) back on the beach in the sunshine state. He knows you will tolerate his misbehavior, which of course gives him permission to do whatever he feels like doing whenever he feel like doing it.  And now he don’t even have to give up the occasional mercy fuck any more, even though that was surely part of the deal at the get go, right?

So the waif has yet to find a job after a year, huh?  Why is that not surprising?  But even a hustler needs his mad money, besides what is doled out to him by his long-suffering john.  I’d be willing to guess Mr. surfer dude is turning tricks to keep himself in weed and other essentials.

Thing is, this fellow probably would have treated you better if you would have just stuck to the hustler/john script.  Ya see, kids like this need structure.  He may have looked to you for this at one time, but when he realized that he had you cock-whipped, the teachable moment evaporated.  This lad is probably like most other boys with big dicks.  They learn early on that their cock gives them enormous power, because it is the object of desire for so many.  He soon discovered that you were no different than all the other men (and some women) in his life — only interested in owning a piece of his sizeable endowment.  And so he turned the tables on you.  You can hardly fault the guy.  You try to manipulate him with your money.  He outwits you and manipulates you with his johnson.

If you’re really serious about reining in the little monkey, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate.  And it better be something more than “I expect you to bone my scrawny middle-aged ass on occasion.” Because, until you do, he will roam wherever and whenever he wants.

There are many root causes for his behavior, just like there are many root causes for your behavior.  But since I’m talking to you, not him, I suggest that you get to the bottom of all of this by investing a good deal of time and energy with a competent sex-positive therapist. There’s one thing I can say for certain, if the status quo continues your resentment will boil over one day and there will be violence, the kind of violence that you may not think yourself capable of now.  But violence there will be; you can bank on it!

Is there enough goodwill between the two of you to resolve this unfortunate situation amicably?  Who knows!  If I had to guess, I’d say there was a slim to no chance for that.  If that’s the case, I advise you pack him up and put him on the next plane south.  And no more relationships for you, particularly with unemployed young men with massive schlongs, till you get your head screwed on tighter.

Good Luck ya’ll

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

Hey sex fans!

We’re back with our very last word in sex toy reviews for 2009.  This is WEEK 6 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we close out the year with a Toys for Gals feature.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Joy, Gina and your truly, Dr Dick.

First up is one of two Doc Johnson toys we have today.

Love Connection —— $24.33

Joy
My partner, Dixie, and I each got a Doc Johnson toy to review.  Dixie posted her Wish-Bone Vibe review two weeks ago.  I got the equally cute, Love Connection to Love Connectionreview.

This sweet little multi-speed vibe is actually two vibes in one.  There are two different silicone attachments that you screw on to the hard plastic base.  I’ve used other vibes that offered attachments, but I was disappointed to discover that I couldn’t count on the attachment staying in place during use.  The Love Connection is different.  The two attachments actually screw on to the handle, so there’s no chance the thing will come off when you’re using it.

But the best thing about this little wonder is that it’s waterproof.  There’s nothing that satisfies like a vibe in the bath.  There is a one touch fingertip control button on the base of the handle that allows you to cycle through the three speeds.  This is not a powerhouse vibe, but you wouldn’t expect it to be, being such a cute little thing.  But it gets the job done.

This would make the ideal vibe for travel.  It’s discreet, and it’s quiet.  The Love Connection runs on 2 AAA batteries.  Unfortunately, they are not included in the package.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next we see about the other Doc Johnson toy

Lucid Dream No. 14 —— $21.99

Gina
My last review of the year is, sadly, a bust. Can’t win them all, I guess.Sex_Toys_DJ092602

Here is a classic example of how a toy looks so amazing in the package, only to have it let you down outside of the package. Lucid Dream No. 14 has an amazing shape. It has a bulbous angled head on a gooseneck body. It’s a jelly material in a luscious tangerine color. And it’s transparent; so you can see the sizable vibe in the head. I was confident this was going to be a brilliant G-spot vibe for sure.

Taking it out of the minimal, but stylish package produced the first concern I had. It emanated a very unpleasant chemical smell. This off-gas was really off-putting. And the smell got on my hands just from taking it out of the package. ICK!

I quickly washed the Lucid Dream and my hands with soap and water. I had immediate misgivings about using this vibe on my body, but I though I’d better press on with my review. I figured I could always slip a condom on it if I was going to have it come in contact with skin.

The next problem I encountered was battery placement. Lucid Dream calls for 2 AA-batteries, which are not included in the package. That was a bummer, but I got over it. Figuring out how the batteries fit into the battery compartment was a puzzle. Nothing I saw on the vibe itself showed the battery placement technique. There were no instructions in the package either. I swear I tried the batteries every which way and thought; maybe this was a defective toy. Then as I was opening the battery compartment to switch out the batteries one last time; the thing sprang to life.

Apparently, you have to close the battery compartment just so; any deviation from that, even tightening the cap a tiny little bit rendered the toy useless. The batteries weren’t making contact with the terminals correctly.

A dial in the vibe’s base activates the multi-speed vibrator in the head of Lucid Dream. This is one of those rheostat things. Not a bad concept when executed correctly. Again, unfortunately, this is not one of those times. The dial is way to lose for it to be effective. In order for this to work, there should be some resistance in the dial as one moves it up or down. This dial had no such resistance.

I have to admit, the vibe was quiet, but it also wasn’t very powerful, even on the highest speed. After all the trouble I had this Lucid Dream I didn’t even bother to try and pleasure myself with it. You know, life is just too short for a bad vibe.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finally, we reprise my review of an amazing product.

The Cone —— $129.00

Dr Dick
Guess what, sex fans? I am the proud owner of my very own The Cone.  And oh jeez, my life is never gonna be the same.

I am now the envy of all my friends — both the male and female variety — since the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived on my doorstep. (Actually the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived encased in a nondescript brown cardboard box, but you get the idea, right?)

I purposely left the shocking pink cone shaped object sitting nonchalantly on my desk The Conefor the past 10 days. Without fail it caught the eye of everyone who passed through Dr Dick’s office/salon/café/crash pad. “What the hell is that?” You’re kidding!” Really? “Get outta here!” “Oh My God, can I try it?” And so it went day after day.

I fond myself repeating the mantra — “It’s an innovative sex toy! – It’s pop art! – It’s my new BFF! — It’s three things in one!”

My hat is off to the developers of this unique unisex toy. You can tell right away that the folks who created this little wonder have a profound appreciation for sexual pleasure, as well as a joyful sense of playful fun. This kind of synergy can and apparently does turn the sex toy industry on its head. Bravo!

Ok, so what exactly is The Cone? Primarily, it is a hands-free battery-operated vibrator, don’t cha know. And that, sex fans, allows you to be pretty gal-darn creative in how you use the bugger. In fact, its unique design practically begs you to come up with clever new use or two every time you use it. I know of what I speak! I came up with one really good one. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

It has a sixteen-function 3000-rpm gold brush motor. It is both powerful and quiet. (Believe me, once you have at this thing, you will be making all the noise, not it.) It has a soft high-quality pink silicone skin. Its about seven inches in diameter at the base, five inches high, and weighs just over a pound. It has two push button controls. Simply put, there is nothing discreet about it, folks! Everything about it screams: “I’m here. I’m pink. Get used to it!

The Cone requires 3 “C” batteries. Unfortunately, the first set of batteries is not included in the package. I tell you this because I don’t want you to get all bummed out when you whip it out, for the first time, hoping to hop on for a ride only to discover you don’t have the proper batteries on hand.

Even though this isn’t an insertable device (That is, unless your hole looks like the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.), you’ll want to use a good personal lube to keep The Cone‘s silicone skin from chafing your naughty parts. Just make sure you use a non-silicone lube though, or you’ll ruin the blasted thing.

Like I said, The Cone has sixteen different vibrating programs — from mild to “Whoa Nelly! I suggest you take your time and cycle through the different vibe patterns to find the ones you like best. Here’s a tip: the on/off switch doubles as an ‘Instant Orgasm’ button, which revs the thing up to fever pitch in an instant. This is apparently for all those folks out there who are just too damned busy to cum like a normal person.

For the uninitiated, the pointy cone shape may be intimidating. But relax there’s no need to worry; The Cone’s peak is soft and spongy. It’s sorta the consistency of a very stiff dick. You can sit on this baby, lean on it, lie on it or plop it in your lap. You can use it alone, or with a partner. Just don’t be surprised if your partner tries to monopolize The Cone. If you have girl parts, The Cone is ideal for your pussy, clit and taint (perineum). If you have boy parts, The Cone is perfect for your cock, balls and taint. And everyone’s asshole will sing for joy when The Cone comes knockin’ at the back door.

The Cone‘s silicone skin is nonporous, which means bacteria cannot penetrate it. That makes it a breeze to clean. Just wipe it down with a mild soap and warm water after each use. To sterilize — remove the silicone skin from the unit and swish it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Of course when you replace the skin, ya gotta realign it on the unit properly or you will not be able to find the operating buttons. But whatever you do, don’t immerse The Cone itself in water.

Ok, so The Cone is decidedly pricey. I’ll grant you that. But you know this thing is gonna last. And I’m a firm believer in buyin’ quality right from the get-go. In fact, if we consumers only patronized conscientious manufacturers of quality products, like The Cone; there’d be a lot less crap in the marketplace.
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday; it’s Week 5 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we’re doin a special Toys for Boys thing today.  Next Friday, our last installment of in this series, will feature some swell Toys for Gals.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Carlos, Ken and your truly, Dr Dick.

All guys jerk off; even (or especially) guys who say they don’t jerk off, jerk off.  Now that we’ve put that behind us we can get on with today toy selection, because it has a theme — masturbation sleeves.

First up is another product from the good folks at Vibratex and Carlos has the lowdown.

Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve —— $14.43

Carlos
I love to masturbate; I’ve been doing it since I was 11.  I love to masturbate with my wife; I like to masturbate with other men.  It’s about as safe a sex as you can have short of having no sex at all.

I’m pretty much a manual masturbator.  I never saw the need to improve on my hands for pleasuring myself.  But the thing about being a Review Crew member, we get exposed to all kinds of products we wouldn’t otherwise know about.  Take for instance the Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve.  I would have never guessed that I could enjoy masturbating even more than I used to by using a masturbation aid, like a sleeve.

The Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve is a simple enough product.  It’s made of 100% Elastomer, which allows me to use any type of lube you want to.  I’m partial to silicone lube, because it doesn’t break down like water-based lubes do during a long masturbation sessions.  And since I don’t have to worry about using a condom when I’m having sex with myself, silicone-based lube works best for me.

When you see the Sidekick in its package you’re actually seeing the inside of the thing.  It’s VSI1turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it.  Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.

The hole you insert you penis in is a decent size, so you don’t have to struggle inserting it.  And since you’ll be adjusting the pressure around your penis with your hand, it’s pretty perfect.  So I lubed up and slipped the Sidekick over the head of my penis.  I’m uncut, so slipping it on also retracted my foreskin.  Honestly, I was really surprised by the feel of the nubs on my penis, particularly the head.  It was so strange to have that kind of sensation on my cock.  But once I got used to the sensation, I was thinking; man, this is great.

The other end of the Sidekick is closed.  That means as you stroke this up and down your penis you actually create a bit of a vacuum, which is also very nice.  Besides the up and down movement you can also rotate the Sidekick around your penis.  This creates a completely unique sensation, which almost tickles.  I loved it!

There are two minor drawbacks, if you can call them that.  Once the Sidekick is turned right-side out (the nubs are now on the inside where they belong) the outside has no texture at all.  This creates a bit of a problem with lubed up hands.  I found that it was sometimes difficult to get a good grip on the thing.  The other issue is the size.  It’s only 5.5” long.  Now that will fit most of us, but if your bigger than that, this might be a bit of a problem.

You can cum right in the Sidekick, because it so easy to clean.  Turn it inside out again, wash in warm soapy water and let it dry.  I found that once it dried; it felt a little sticky.  So I just dusted it with little bit of cornstarch.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next we have a much more elaborate sleeve from The Adult Toy Shoppe folks.

Cyberskin Pocket Pussy —— $39.99

Ken
Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat.  Oh wait, he did!  What luck for us!

I generally jerk off a couple of times a day.  This amazes my partner, Denise.  She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know.  I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid.  Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.pocket-pussy-4-TOH25056

Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve.  Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother?  Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.

This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind.  This stuff rocks!  It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too.  They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.

The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you.  This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes.  But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.

When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me.  I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf.  Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing.  And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it.  The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.

I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin.  Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.

The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help.  However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother.  I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock.  I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that.  It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.

So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome.  Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.

Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied.  But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair.  I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.

So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out.  I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up.  This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned.  Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out.  Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.

Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry.  I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing.  DAMN!  After that, I decided to just let it air dry.

Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky.  I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.”  But what the fuck is “Renew”?
FULL REVIEW HERE

Just to round off today’s theme I offer my review of another masturbation sleeve.

FleshJack Ice —— $69.95

Dr Dick
So sex fans, I suppose ya’ll all know that the Fleshlight has been around for several years now, right? Good, I figured you would’ve noticed. I mean a person can hardly visit a sex related site these days without seeing one of their fetching ads. I realize that I’m a Johnny-cum-lately with my review, but like my momma always used to say — “all good thing come to those who wait”.

Like you, I’ve seen the Fleshlight around for years.  And because of that I convinced myself I knewproduct_aajack_440.jpg everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?

Well, so much for baseless assumptions.

Imagine my surprise when my very own personal FleshJack Ice showed up on my doorstep. I discovered that just about everything I thought I knew about this marvel didn’t even come close to the real thing. Until I had one of my own to fondle and probe…if ya catch my drift, I was clueless. It’s true what they say; this is the granddaddy of male stimulators. But you really shouldn’t take my word for it.

My initial piece of advice to everyone in my audience is; don’t be a smug jerk like me. That’s right! If you’ve never had your grubby paws on, or your hot little boner in, an actual Fleshlight, you pretty much don’t know nuthin’ about a Fleshlight. Period!

The first thing that struck me about the Fleshlight is it’s way bigger and heavier than I imagined. I figured it would be the size of a regular flashlight. I was wrong. The plastic shell is a serious 10” in length. And by it’s self it’s fairly light. It’s the totally amazing Superskin™ insert that racks up the weigh. My Fleshlight weighs in at a hefty 1 pound, eight and a half ounces. And that, sex fans, is a handful, or two, for damn sure. More about this in a minute.

The Superskin™ insert is totally amazing. It begs to be touched and caressed. It is unlike any other texture I’ve experienced in a sex toy. And like I said, I’ve had an opportunity to test drive a bunch of masturbators and stimulation sleeves in my time. The Superskin™ is kinda like a jelly, but it’s so much more substantial. I know this is gonna sound trite, but it does feel flesh-like. And if you add some hot water to your Fleshlight, as I did, before you sink in your chub, well it’s pretty much the most amazing feeling you can have from something that simulates a human orifice.

And ya wanna talk marketing genius? All Fleshlight customers are invited to customize their unit before they buy. And that is where the fun begins. Since most guys are pretty particular about where they stick their joystick, Fleshlight has cleverly come up with several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral” (apparently for those who can’t commit). The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. There are optional insert colors too: pink, mocha or ice. And get this, you can even choose from among six different internal contours for the insert itself: Original, Super Tight, Ultra Tight, Speed Bump, Super Ribbed and Wonder Wave. If, with all these options, you can’t design the perfect Fleshlight for you, you’re just too damned fussy.

I want to draw your attention to one last feature before we take this puppy on a test drive. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a flashlight, has removable caps at both ends. The top cap covers the bulbous head of the insert and helps keeps it clean when it’s not in use. The end cap can be removed for easy cleaning. (The jizz-fanatics among us will appreciate this, because when a wank session is over, you can simply dribble out your spunk for some delicious DNA play.)

Like I suggested above you can also add hot water through the end cap for a warm, squishy jack. If you do add water, don’t over-fill the blasted thing. No more than three-quarter full is my suggestion. And this is best done in the shower or bath. Because, depending on the vigor of your stroke, things will get might wet, which just so happens to add to the fun. Just so you know, this was my favorite way to Fleshlight!
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #173 — 12/07/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

It’s all Q&A today.  We’re trying to clear the decks, as it were, before our well deserved holiday chair11break, which is coming soon.  The Erotic Mind series will resume in the New Year with a slew of new and interesting erotic artists and authors who will share their work with us and discuss their creative process.

Among today’s correspondents we hear from:

  • Phil asks Tony Buff for watersports info.
  • Alyssa’s BF says dirty and insulting things to her when they fuck.
  • Baux is having a burning sensation in his hole.
  • Gary wants pills to grow his dick bigger.
  • We also have a bunch of sex guilt questions; sex toy for men questions; and pheromones questions.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Oh what fun it is to ride…

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and this is Week 4 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Glenn & Hank, Dixie and Brad.

First up we have yet another exquisite erotic art insertable from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the third product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  See the other HERE!

Mister Twister ——  $129.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn:  “WE’RE BACK!  Did you miss us?  We missed you.  Well actually, we missed the sex toys.  Being a Review Crew member has its perks.”
Hank:  “He’s in such a good mood because we got to review another toy that he can shove up his ass.  Glenn has the hungriest hole around.”
Glenn:  “I like to think of it as talented, not hungry.”
Hank:  “A rosebud by any other name…”
Glenn:  “Speaking of talented; a literary allusion and an asshole allusion all in one sentence.  You’re on a roll, my man!”
Hank:  “Ok, let’s get on with it.  What we have here is an art glass butt plug. Mister xh600Twister is just one of the beautiful creations to be had when you visit XHale online.  Glenn and I are new to glass, but after this little encounter; there will surely be more glass toys to come.”
Glenn:  “This petite beauty is only 3 3/8” tall.  It has a very modest girth of not much more than an inch.  This is your starter butt plug model.  I’m like totally used to way bigger toys in my ass, but there is something about this stunning little number that makes it one of my favorites.  I feel all dressed up with this puppy pluggin my hole.  Maybe that’s because it’s art, baby.  All XHale art is individually handmade, which makes my insertable even more precious to me.  No one else in the world has exactly the same one as I.”
Hank:  “It sure is!  It also has this amazing blue and white swirl in the solid glass.  That’s why when Mister Twister joined our dildo and plug collection it was like a snowy dove trooping with crows.”
Glenn:  “There you go again!  Apparently you’ve got Romeo and Juliet on the brain.  But you’re right; Mister Twister is a jewel, that’s for sure.”
Hank:  “Because this is the highest quality glass, it will last a lifetime; ya just gotta treat it with care.”
Glenn:  “XHale helps you do that by providing a very sturdy black padded drawstring pouch to keep your insertable art safe from getting nicked or chipped.  But we think Mister Twister is so beautiful; when it’s not adorning my hole it is proudly placed on our mantle.”
Hank:  “And if you think that is gross, you don’t know squat about glass insertables.  You can clean this baby with simple soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution; or sterilize in boiling water or the dishwasher.”
Glenn:  “You can use any sort of lube you want to with a glass object like this.  And a little goes a very long way.  For someone unfamiliar with a butt plug, this will take some getting use to.  It’s hard as a rock.  But once you get the hang of it, it will be your material of choice from there on out.  I can wear Mister Twister for hours on end.  There’s no chafing; nothing like that.”
Hank:  “And you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next another vibe from our friends at Vibratex.

Neo Cockring by Vibratex —— $24.99

Brad
So I was like totally hot for the Neo Cockring when I saw it in its stylish plexiglas storage case. At 33 I’m just discovering the joys of wearing a cockring. I was telling some of my gay clients at the gym about getting my first cockring about a month ago. They looked at me like I had just landed from outer space. OK, so I’m a late bloomer; sue me!

The Neo Cockring is a clear jelly sorta deal. Although it’s not a jelly, it’s made of a 131111phthalate-free elastomer. This may not make a difference to you, but it sure does to me. I don’t do anything that may contain phthalates. I mean, why would I endanger my health if I don’t have to?

The thing that rocks, or is supposed to, is this cockring has a built-in vibe, and it has this tickler side to it. And even though the vibe is a tiny thing; it has two activation choices. The first is a side button that remains “on” until depressed, and the second is a pressure sensitive pad behind the ticklers. So my GF is like waiting for me to warp this thing around my johnson and show her what it’ll do to her clit. I position the ring around my dick and balls with the vibe on the top of my cock with the tickle head pointing outward. Are you following this?

I activate the vibe and…well I feel it, but it ain’t rockin my world; as I had hoped. But ok, maybe the vibe is not for me but my GF. Ahhh, not so fast! She says she can feel it too, and she likes the way it turns itself on as it comes in contact with her clit, but there ain’t enough bang for her buck either.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finely, something very unique from Doc Johnson.

Wish-Bone Vibrator —— $25.50

Dixie
I’m doing a solo review today. My partner, Joy, is working on another review for later in this series.

I have something no nonsense to show you this time around. It’s about as simple and straightforward as you can get. It’s the Wish-Bone Vibrator.31BFrJZTjtL._AA280_

I’ve used a lot of vibes in my day. I think I own nearly two-dozen of them. Some I’ve used a couple of times and that’s it; I never touch them again. Others are favorites that I put to very good use frequently. However, none of them look like the Wish-Bone. So this little wonder gets high marks for it’s clever design.

Here’s how it works; you put your index finger (I prefer to use my middle finger) through the notch at the top of the vibe. You finger tip lands on the single button that switches on the vibe and rotates it through its three speeds before coming to off. That’s it; no bells, no whistles, just solid thoughtful design and construction.

It’s a perfect design. I love to finger myself when I jill-off. This extends my finger for effortless fingering. It’s made of a hard plastic (phthalate-free) that excellently conducts the vibration. It’s fabulous on my clit. And if that isn’t enough, the thing is waterproof. It’s so ideal; I now have the Wish-Bone permanently placed on the ledge of my tub.
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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Santa Baby!

Hey sex fans,

It’s Black Friday; the day the holiday shopping madness starts in earnest.  I know some of you live for this time of the year, so The Dr Dick Review Crew will do our part.  This is Week 3 of this our Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members:  Denise, Jack & Karen and Gina & Kevin.

First up, our friends and neighbors (BC, Canada), the extraordinary women at Eros & Isis send a work of art.

Sweet Pea —— $68.00

Denise
I have the pleasure of introducing you to a luscious little playmate, Sweet Pea, from a fantastic new company in British Columbia, Canada, Eros & Isis.  It’s such a rare find to discover a boutique adult products company.  I am so over the cookie-cutter, mass-produced stuff made of dubious materials that floods the marketplace.  How refreshing to discover a manufacturer with an environmental consciousness.  Long live Eros & Isis!

Sweet Pea is a petite, 3.5” x 2.5”, bulbous headed vibe made of 100% platinum SweetPeasilicone. It’s completely safe and non-toxic, which includes the natural mineral pigment embedded into the silicone to achieve the antique look of their toys.  It is meticulously sculpted, molded and cast by hand to appear as a turn of the century collectible.  It really is unique.  I haven’t seen its like anywhere else.

Sweet Pea features a removable one-speed bullet vibrator that can be replaced or upgraded to any bullet-style unit.  The bullet come packed with batteries, I’m happy to report.  So your first ride is on the house.  You can use Sweet Pea externally, but I prefer it as a pussy plug.  The sculpted base delivers delicious stimulation to my lips and clit.  And it is so soft and comfortable I can wear for an extended time. Very nice!

There’s a bit of a secret to removing bullet vibe from the base for cleanup or when you need to change the batteries.  Simply add a few drops of water-based lube between the vibe and the hole it’s in.  Remember only water-based lube on a beautiful silicone toy like this. Work the lube around a little; apply pressure to the base of the toy above the vibe and PRESTO!  The vibe pops out.

Sweet Pea is just one of the gorgeous Eros & Isis toys and each is available in Gold, Silver, and Jade.  The silicone makes the toys easy to clean with soap and water.  But it also can be sterilized in boiling water or in the dishwasher; sans the vibe, of course.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next, we have another Good Vibrations Ambassador Review.

Smartballs Teneo UNO & DUO —— $34.00 & $44.00

Gina & Kevin
Kevin:  “Smartballs Teneo are Fun Factory’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You know what those are, right?  They are insertable balls that were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). But since men have PC muscles too, I wanted to join in the fun.  In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these babies while they are inserted vaginally or, in my case, anally.”13BG01-1
Gina:  “Smartballs are discreet.  And as Kevin suggests, they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Kevin:  “Remember, the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.  And this is true for both women and men.”
Gina:  “You simply insert the Smartballs Teneo UNO into your vagina.
Kevin:  “Or the Smartballs Teneo DUO into your ass. Or the other way around.”
Gina:  “Each Smartball unit has a finger groove for easy insertion and a tether that makes for easy removal.  You’ll want to use some lube when inserting.  And since these products are made of silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with them.”
Kevin:  “Here’s the special part.  Each Smartball has an inner ball that creates the a sweetest vibration sensation.”
Gina:  “They aren’t as heavy a ball as I am used to, but they are comfortable to wear.  And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  Take them dancing, to the grocery or for a walk in the park.  Every movement gives you pleasure while strengthening your PC muscles.”
Kevin:  “They are extremely durable and easy to clean. You can sterilize them in boiling water or pop ‘em in the dishwasher, which makes the Smartballs Teneo shareable. You can also wipe them down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  Or just use soap and warm water for a quick cleanup.”
Gina:  “I like to masturbate with the Smartballs.  My orgasms are more intense, because my vaginal muscles contract around the vibrating balls.  Regular use can also help prevent stress incontinence.”
Kevin:  “And I like to squeeze one off with a ball or two in my ass.  They provide very pleasant prostate stimulation.  And ya never have to change batteries or wait for a recharge.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finally, the last in our series of Tristan Taormino’s educational and enrichment videos.

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men —— $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “We’re back with another butt sex video.  If you remember, last time we reviewed: The Expert Guide to Anal Sex.  I was all bummed out because that video didn’t include men as the receiving partners in anal sex.  How was I supposed to know that there was an entire video in this series that was all about pegging your guy?”
Karen:  “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men is just what we’ve been looking for.”DVDVIVID66
Jack:  “The disc starts out with a tutorial on the subject of male anal stimulation and goes from the anatomy itself through the actual processes involved. And our favorite ass-mistress, Tristan Taormino, is the host of this portion of the film.”
Karen:  “Then there are three sex scenes. The first involves Penny Flame and Devin.  Tristan is there in an advisory role for the opening portion of the scene.  Penny uses her fingers, a butt-plug, and a couple of strap-ons on Devin.  This is the part that interested me the most.”
Jack:  “Annie Cruz and Nomad are up next.  She finger fucks her guy with up to four of them at once.  DAMN!  She also uses a bead-like butt-plug, an even large butt-plug, and a strap-on on him.  Nomad fingers and fucks Annie’s ass with a glass dildo while she jills-off with vibrator.  Very Hot!”
Karen:  “I like the give and take between these two performers.”
Jack:  “The third scene features Jandi Lin and Christian. Christian takes Jandi’s fingers, a metal butt-plug, a glass-like butt-plug and a, curved black prostate stimulator in his ass. Jandi rims him a bit, although not convincingly.  Unfortunately there is no strap-on use here.”
Karen:  “There was a bunch of stuff in this scene that I didn’t like.  They had to do with exchanging bodily fluids, if you know what I mean.  I agree with Jack, the connection between the two performers seemed a little contrived.”
Jack:  “There are also tutorials in the bonus section.  They include; Safer Sex, How to Choose & Wear A Strap-On, Solo Prostate Stimulation—involving the guys from the movie, and Anal Hygiene and Enemas—featuring the gals.  This was just the stuff I had been looking for.  Some may find the tutorials a bit dry, especially if you’re watching this for the porn value.  But I think it’s important stuff to know, particularly for men, like me, who about to make the anal plunge.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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Tony Buff, Part 2 – Podcast #170 – 11/25/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I have the holiday treat you’ve all been waiting for. tonyBuff_20091114_wDerekDaSilva Porn star, activist, educator, rigger and Dom. Tony Buff, Is back with us for more of his unique Sex EDGE-U-cation.

Part 1 of my chat with Tony, which appeared last week at this time, is the most popular interview podcast to date.  It broke all download records for a single podcast in a single week, so yea for that.  But wait, did you somehow miss last week’s installment?  We’ll that’s just not right!  But don’t worry; you can make it up.  All my podcasts are archived right here.  All ya have to do is use the site’s search function to your right; type in Podcast #168 and presto!  Don’t forget the #sign when you do your search

Tony and I discuss:

  • His fan base that includes loads of kinky women.
  • His polyamorous relations that includes Derek da Silva and Chris Yosef.
  • Open, honest communication the key to relationship success.
  • Power Play — how he started and his life now.
  • Being a power switch.
  • Exhilaration of creating scenes for his sub.
  • Cathartic and recreational aspects of BDSM.
  • The importance of working with sex positive & kink-positive healing and helping professionals.

Be sure to visit Tony on his kick-ass site HERE!

See a slideshow of Tony & friends at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.

[nggallery id=53]

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S  — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Moveable Feast

Hey sex fans,

Here we are at Week 2 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.  And we have two outstanding items for you.  One will, no doubt, be familiar to you.  The other is an outstanding example of erotic art.

The Dr Dick Review Crew Members: Kevin & Gina and Jack & Karen are here with the lowdown.

First, an old favorite from Vibratex.

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $47.50

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the others history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic WandZA919 before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next we have exquisite insertable erotic art from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the second product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  Look for the  Smooth Glider review.

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaftx351 are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY