Bullshitness of Rabbit Vibrators

By Emily Nagoski

I promised myself to do a post about the bullshitness of rabbit vibrators, so here it is.

To begin with, what I mean by a rabbit is a dual vibrator – most commonly a vibrator with a large shaft for penetration and a bullet for external, clitoral stimulation. It gets called a rabbit because one particular brand has molded the jelly sheath over the bullet to have little bunny ears. There are also dolphins and thumbs and lots of other things. It’s cute.

350__1_ivibe-rabbit-vibrator-grape.jpgSo wherein lies the bullshit? Well it’s not that they’re not effective – but anything with an off-center motor that you can put between your legs can be effective; I know someone whose engineer boyfriend built a vibrator out of an ibuprophen bottle, and pubescent girls worldwide discovered the glories of a vibrating Harry Potter broomstick.

Instead, the bullshit lies in the rabbit’s position in culture.

First of all, the rabbit became famous as a result of a Sex in the City episode where one of the characters gets “addicted” to it.

The episode was basically a commercial. It was a product placement of the crassest, most cynical kind.

So the first reason the rabbit is bullshit is that its popularity is the result of a television commercial, not as a result of its ability to get women off.

Which brings me to reason number two that the rabbit is bullshit.

LILY 2
LILY 2

Had LELO offered SitC more money than the rabbit did to promote the Lily, this would be a different post because the Lily is a small, beautiful, powerful, rechargeable, nearly silent clitoral vibrator with infinitely adjustable speed and I will forever sing its praises to the heavens. Even its shape, to me, has a grace and elegance that echoes the flexing of a woman’s body at orgasm.

But if you walk into a sex toy store and you see the Lily on a shelf, and then you see the rabbit in its foot-long glory, which will you think is better? The rabbit with its size, its many functions, and its cultural import, is surely the more impressive there on the shelf. And if you haven’t looked too closely at cultural myths about women’s sexuality, you might think that it’s a better design for meeting a women’s orgasmic needs.

But it’s not. It’s designed to meet CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS around a woman’s needs.

It’s a big, colorful, rotating, oscillating SHAFT… with a bullet vibe attached. What does that say? It says that what a woman really needs and wants is a giant dick that does fucking magic tricks, and maybe some clitoral stimulation too.

That’s the second bullshitness about rabbits. It tells women what they need is a cock. It feeds wrongheaded cultural expectations around women’s sexuality, rather than nourishing women’s sexuality as it truly is.

001

When most women see even just a traditional slimline vibrator, they assume that they’re using the shaft for penetration. And mainstream porn certainly represents women’s masturbation as a largely penetration-oriented activity. The rabbit is part of this cultural discourse, this myth; the SitC character can only be satisfied by a giant, buzzing, candy-colored cock.

In fact more than 90% of women masturbate with NO VAGINAL PENETRATION. (The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality.)

The third, related, bullshitness: it tells women what they need is a cock, thus failing to tell women that really the vast majority of them would be better served with a clit-centric toy; the cultural phenomenon of the rabbit makes people think otherwise.

we-vibe-flexible-dual-action-vibrator.jpg
We-Vibe II

If you really want a dual vibrator designed genuinely to meet a woman’s orgasmic needs, have a look at the We-Vibe II, whose proportions accurately reflect where and how stimulation is effective for most (not all, of course) women.

I’ll move toward a conclusion here, though there’s lots more to say. This is hardly a comprehensive analysis of the rabbit in particular or sex toys in general. I just want to register a tiny squeak of frustrated rage that popular culture is failing us so very, very badly by repeating the myths that make women feel broken, subordinate, and conflicted.

If men are learning about sex from porn – and my college health ed colleagues recently did a survey that suggests that 1 in 4 college men thinks porn accurately portrays how sex works – then, I think, women learn about sex from the popular culture,  things like SitC. I believe that cultural representations of sexuality have a responsibility to participate in a healthy, factual, and feminist construction of women’s sexuality. Promoting something like the rabbit, with its phallocentric implications, does everyone on the planet a disservice.

If SitC were written by sex educators, the toy would more likely have been, for example, the Cadillac of vibrators, the Hitachi Magic Wand) – it’s big, it’s loud, it plugs into the wall, and it does the job.

But instead it was written by writers who don’t necessarily know anything about sex outside the mainstream nonsense, and so the mainstream nonsense is recapitulated.

Complete Article HERE!

For more on this timely topic look HERE!

My Alien Bunny

Hey sex fans!

Look, a new edition of Product Review Friday is comin’ your way. This week we bring you a toy for the women folk, but guys might like it too. This is our first product review from one of the sex toy industry’s award-winning innovators, Jimmyjane.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie, to see what’s up, so to speak.

Jimmyjane Form 2 — — $145.00

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “We started the new year off with a bang. Joy and I celebrated our 6th anniversary on New Years Eve. I know, how perfect is that? Anywho, we got a bunch of swell gifts from friends. We have the best friends evah!”
Joy: “Amongst the booty was a Jimmyjane Form 2. And guess who gave it to us? My ex, Barbara! The first product I ever reviewed for Dr Dick was the Share.  And Barbara and I were together back then. She knows my passion for toys and so she got Dixie and me the Form 2.”jimmyjane-form-2-01
Dixie: “I was completely flabbergasted because the Form 2 isn’t cheap; in fact it’s really pricy. Barbara’s a dot-com millionaire, so I suppose plunkin’ down $150 for a sex toy means nothing to her. Don’t get me wrong, I love that she’s so generous. And she’s such as sweetheart on top of it.”
Joy: “Yeah, Barb rocks! So let me take you on a little tour of the Form 2. It’s the cutest little thing. About the size of the palm of your hand, it’s basically a body with two short flexible ears. I call it my alien bunny. It’s made of high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And it has a stainless steel base where it recharges in its stylish charger base. Its rechargeable lithium polymer battery takes about two hours to fully charge and runs up to seven hours on a single charge.”
Dixie: “It features five vibration speeds and four modes of vibration, and is operated by a one button controller. Form 2 is fully waterproof and easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. And it should be shared!”jimmyjane-form-2-luxury-vibrato2_11903_700x700
Joy: “The two flexible ears vibrate, each with their own motor. So when you nuzzle the Form 2 up to your clit, with the ears placed along each side, your whole vulva is stimulated. Love it! It’s super quiet too.”
Dixie: “The ears pulsate with pleasure. Like Joy mentioned above each ear is flexible, but the body is dense. It feels so comfortable in my hand. I like moving Form 2 all around my body. My nipples are particularly sensitive to the pleasure it can deliver. I encourage you to find all your erogenous zones or those of your partner with this joyful toy.”
Joy: “It’s true! The sensations are like in stereo; the motors in each ear create happiness wherever it travels on your body. It’s the ideal toy for the bath. The Form 2 excels in design as well as function. It’s immediately obvious that a great deal of time, effort, and knowhow has gone into making this a pleasure treasure. And ya know what? Guys will like this too.”jimmyjane-form-2-luxury-vibrato2_11904_700x700
Dixie: “Here’s a thoughtful little extra; the controls can be locked in the off position for safe sex toy traveling. There’s nothing more embarrassing than have your vibe come to life on its own as you’re going through airport security. We already mentioned that Form 2 is rechargeable, so obviously it comes with its own charger and detailed product information brochure is included in the packaging. It also comes with a three-year product warranty.”
Joy: “Let’s recap, shall we? Form 2 is body-safe, healthy, GREEN, rechargeable, waterproof, and exceptionally good at what it says it can do. What more can one ask for from a vibe, or any product for that matter?”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Add Some Buzz To Your Fuzz

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday! And this week we feature yet another innovative product from the creative folks at Perfect Fit Brand.  And when PFB sends us products to review we know we’re in for something special.  As you all probably know the Perfect Fit Brand is responsible for The Best Product or Toy for Men for both 2012 and 2013.

To keep track of all our PFB reviews use the search function in the header of DrDickSexToyReviews.com, type in Perfect Fit Brand, and Voilà!

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Kevin & Gina are back with us after a long hiatus, so they’ll do the honors today.

Orbit BodyFit Vibrating Stimulator —— $54.57

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “We’re back! Did you miss us? We sure as hell missed you.”
Kevin: “We’ve been really busy since our last posting back in July of last year. I took a new job, Gina was doing some teaching, and the biggest news, we got hitched. That’s right, I finally made an honest woman of the lass.”
Gina: “I didn’t really care if I was ‘honest’ or not, but my mom sure did. She and my dad are super-Catholics and they were in torment these last few years knowing their only daughter was living in sin. OMG, if they only knew. Anyhow, some friends of ours, a gay couple, mind you, decided to get married and asked Kevin and I stand up with them. My first maid of honor gig and there wasn’t even a bride.”Orbit BodyFit Vibrating Stimulator black
Kevin: “I figured if Tad and Colin could take the plunge, so could I. Right after their wedding I got down on my knee and proposed to Gina.”
Gina: “Totally romantic, and in front of all our friends too! I couldn’t say no. Well, I guess I could have said no, but I didn’t want to. Kevin’s my man! He’s a pervert, but he’s my pervert. Three months later, Kevin and I walked down the aisle of the church I was baptized in. The priest waved his hand over us and we promised never to part.”
Kevin: “But just to let everyone know we weren’t mainlining the whole religion thing, Tad was my best man and Colin was Gina’s ‘maid of honor.’ Gina’s parents were scandalized and the priest was all weirded out, but it was our fuckin’ wedding and if we had to do it in a church, then we’d do it our way.”
Gina: “That was more information than I expected to share, but there ya have it. Now, on to our review. Here’s the Orbit BodyFit Vibrating Stimulator.”
Kevin: “Or as we like to call it, my super-duper vibrating cockring. Ya all know what a cockring is and does, right? If not, check out Dr Dick’s Cockring Crash CourseOrbit is from Perfect Fit Brand. Another one of their cockrings, Armour Up, was among last year’s Best Products of the Year. In fact, Orbit is the Armour Up ring on steroids.” Orbit BodyFit Vibrating Stimulator
Gina: “That’s right! The creative minds over at Perfect Fit Brand have proven that not only do they create brilliant products for men, but they know how to please a woman too. Orbit, like Kevin just mentioned, has all the features of the Armour Up for him, but it also has a powerful built in bullet vibe for me. The easy to switch on, three-speed vibe is powered by three of those tiny round watch batteries.  And they are included in the package. You can easily remove the bullet from the Orbit to change batteries.”
Kevin: “Yep; my erection is enhanced, I have more intense orgasms with Orbit, and the vibe is so powerful that I can feel it throughout my pelvis. Very fuckin’ cool!”
Gina: “Orbit is made of a proprietary blend of silicone and TPR (a thermoplastic elastomer), which makes it latex-free, nonporous, and phthalate-free. And it is super-stretchy for comfort and durability. It come in both black and clear.  You can use water-based lube or silicone-based lube with it as you please. And it cleans up with with mild soap and water. Nothing could be easier.”
Kevin: “For anyone who is looking for a quick and simple way to spice things up in the bedroom without breaking the bank, Orbit is the product for you. And consider this; once Orbit is in place, around your cock and balls, and turned on, the only thing left to do is have sex. Unlike other vibrators, Orbit leaves your hands free to massage, caress, grope, pinch, spank, or whatever else happens when your hands are free to do the talking.”
Gina: “The Perfect Fit Brand keeps cranking out the winners. I hope, that one of these days, they will turn their attention to creating a product or two just for us gals. But until that time, I’ll be enjoying Orbit right along with Kevin.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Best Products Of 2013 Show — Podcast #404 — 01/29/14

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a very special podcast in store for you today. In fact it’s so unique it’s unprecedented. And all of it is on account of a woman named Christie. The gist of it is we’re gonna hear from the Dr Dick Review Crew as they count down their Best Adult Products of 2013 list.sexual fantasies

Now of course, anyone who visits either one of my sites on a regular basis will know that we posted this list back on December 27, 2013. The thing is, as we learn from Christie, not everyone who is interested in our reviews is able to visit our site; thus this podcast edition, don’t cha know.

Finally, we have a tie for Best Product or Toy for Men

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

CAUTION — Happy Holes Ahead

Hey sex fans!

It’s our first Product Review Friday of 2014! And this week we feature yet another innovative product from the creative folks at Perfect Fit Brand. As you all probably know the Perfect Fit Brand is responsible for The Best Product or Toy for Men for both 2012 and 2013. This is unprecedented.

To keep track of all our PFB reviews use the search function in the header of DrDickSexToyReviews.com, type in Perfect Fit Brand, and PRESTO!

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Glenn & Hank are here to tell us about their new find.

Perfect Fit Brand Hump Gear —— $59.00

Glenn & Hank
Hank: “Happy New Year everyone! It’s good to be back with the crew for yet another year of sex toy reviews.”
Glenn: “This marks the beginning of my 7th year with the Dr Dick Review Crew. I did my first review in October on 2007.”hump gear01
Hank: “And I joined Glenn in August 2008. We’ve had the pleasure of introducing you to many remarkable products, including The Best Product or Toy for Men back in 2012 — The Fat Boy Cock Sheath.”
Glenn: “I know it’s only January and there are probably lots of great products to come in the new year, but what we have here, Perfect Fit Brand’s Hump Gear, is sure to wind up on the short list for The Best Product or Toy for Men 2014.”
Hank: “Damn straight! Perfect Fit Brand is churning out the world’s most innovative toys for men. Each year they outdo themselves. And the adult product world is sitting up and taking notice. They are racking up awards all over the globe. Listen, if you’ve got a cock and balls and/or an asshole, and you don’t have at least a couple of their products, I can assure you that you are missing out on a ton of fun.”
Glenn: “Let’s get down to it. Hump Gear is a fuckable butt plug. See if you can rap your head around that. It is made of the Perfect Fit Brand’s proprietary material called SilaSkin. It’s a revolutionary blend of silicone and TPR (thermoplastic rubber). It is unbelievably stretchy and irresistibly soft and it is phthalate-free. Hump Gear come in both black and clear.”
Hank: “Let me go back to the fuckable butt plug thing, ok? Because this is exactly what makes Hump Gear so freakin’ amazing. Is everyone clear about what a butt plug is and what it does? If not, let me turn you on to a little tutorial titled: Butt Plug Crash Course.  OK! Here’s how Hump Gear works. The top, that would be me, lubes up his dick and slips the Hump Gear on his cock. You can use any type of lube you want with this baby. hump gear02In this respect, Hump Gear is a lot like the Fat Boy Cock Sheath. But where the Fat Boy is tubular, Hump Gear has a flared lip near the extra-wide base. When Glenn is ready for the ass-ult I lube up his hole and slide my cock, covered in the Hump Gear, into his ass. My first thrust inserts the Hump Gear and his anal sphincter closes around the flared lip near the base. And there it stays.”
Glenn: “Like the Fat Boy Cock Sheath, Hump Gear is ribbed on the inside of the sleeve for the top’s (Hank’s) pleasure. And for me, the bottom, I get this filled up filling. Hump Gear stays in place, as Hank mentioned, so even though he pulls out the ‘plug’ stays put. Now, for all you bottoms out there who wish your top had a bit more girth, Hump Gear is for you. And for all you tops out there who wish your bottom had a tighter hole, Hump Gear is for you.”
Hank: “But there’s more; Hump Gear can be used solo too. It’ makes an ideal stroker, like its cousin the Fat Boy. And if you’re alone and you want to punish your hole Hump Gear is there for ya. Simply slip it over a dildo and put it where the sun don’t shine.”
Glenn: “I’m an insatiable bottom, so when I have an ‘itch’ I can wear Hump Gear for hours on end till Hank gets home and ‘scratches’ it. And by the way, the super soft and stretchy SilaSkin adds to my pleasure, but never chafes my hole like some of the bigger toys we use.”PFB_Christopher_Diesel_013_large
Hank: “I love the feeling of Hump Gear as it slides over my cock. And I can do some heavy piston-pounding without ever worrying about wear and tear on Glenn’s ass lips because I’m fuckin’ the Hump Gear, not his hole. The squishy sound my dick makes inside the sheath adds to our piggy play.”
Glenn: “If you’re like me, and you’re into a little DNA play, then you will love Hump Gear too because it’s like a giant condom. It catches Hank’s jizz in its tip and I can slather it all over myself after he shoots his wad.”
Hank: “Clean up is always a snap. No matter how messy things get, and god know we like our fucks to be messy, some warm water and mild soap takes care of everything. Cleaning it is easy because the SilaSkin material is nonporous and so stretchy you can actually turn the blasted thing inside out. And once thoroughly dry the sheath isn’t the least bit sticky or tacky, like a lot of similar materials get after use. We both give this product and A+ rating.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Best Adult Products List For 2013

We interrupt our winter holiday to bring you this special edition of Product Review Friday.

 

On this last Friday of the year, it’s time to announce this year’s Best Products List. We have only four categories this year — Best Product or Toy for Men; Best Product or Toy for Women; Best Product or Toy for couples; and Best Lube or Lotion. Unfortunately, this past year we didn’t get to review any kinky toys, so we had to drop the category: Best Kinky Product or Toy. I hope we make up for this woeful situation in 2014. Come on, kinky toy producers, show us what ya got!

We reviewed some amazing adult products and toys this year in all the remaining four categories. So coming up with the very best in each category was a bit of a challenge. But despite the difficulty we completed our list and here are members of the Dr Dick Review Crew to reveal the winners.

First up is Jada with The Best Product or Toy for WomenG Vibe —— $99.99.

(Curiously enough, Jada had the honor of reviewing the best product or toy for women last year too. You go Jada!)

Jada
I am delighted to be the one to bring you news of a truly remarkable and inventive new vibe. It’s called the G Vibe and it comes from a company called Fun Toys. Well, my friends, no need to beat around the bush; I’m smitten.

G Vibe02The G Vibe looks like no other vibe I’ve ever seen. It looks as though someone took a regular insertable vibe and sliced it down the middle, producing two forked tongues, each of which vibrates. The two tongues are ultra-flexible and the whole vibe is covered in the most deliciously soft and velvety 100% medical grade silicone. And that makes it, as you probably already know, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic. It’s the dream material for insertables. The G Vibe comes in several colors, mine is rose.

Embedded in the handle of G Vibe is a hard plastic ring, with a metallic finish. This allows you to slip two fingers (index and middle) into the handle so that your thumb is perfectly positioned on the three-button control panel. When activated the buttons light up. It is super-ergonomic and clearly lovingly designed.

Speaking of the control panel, it’s among the easiest I’ve ever used. The top button is marked with a “+.” This turns on the vibe and accelerates the intensity of the vibrations from mild to wow! The middle button marked with a wavy icon rotates through the six vibrating modes. The lower button is marked with a “-.” This decelerates the intensity of the vibrations and turns the unit off.

The G Vibe is about 9.5” long, with an insertable length of about 6”. The girth of a single tongue is approximately 2.5” and the girth of the two tongues together is about 4.5”

Each of the tongues of the G Vibe has its own motor. And the flexibility of the tongues is what makes it so versatile. Squeeze the two tongues together to insert the shaft of the vibe. Of course, the tongues separate once inserted. The two tongues delivers a sensation of fullness without stretching the entrance of your vagina. This makes for lovely G-spot stimulation. Insert one tongue and maneuver the other tongue to your clit. Or slip the G Vibe over your clit or nipples in a clothespin like fashion. Or use the tongue tips to tickle and tease anywhere on your body or your partner’s body. Let your imagination and your creativity guide you to find all the possible uses and pleasure techniques. Look to the pamphlet that is included in the box for inspiration.
Full Review HERE!

Next up is Brad with The Best Lube or LotionSPUNK Lube Hybrid (8 oz) —— $15.00

Brad
Those of you who follow my reviews know that I’m a personal trainer. About a year ago one of my new clients, a gay dude, says to me, “You look so familiar. I said, “Really?” He says, “Yeah, but I just can’t think of where I may have seen you before.” I think nothing more of it till a few weeks later he says, “I know why you look so familiar.” “You do?” He says, you are the spittin’ image of this guy on the internet who jerks off all the time on camera.” I’m like, “Get otta here!” He says, “No really, you should check it out. The site is called STR8cam and the guy’s name is Jeff.”

I’m thinkin’ ok, this new client of mine doesn’t know I’m straight and he’s comin’ on to me with this stuff. I mean, I don’t care if my clients get the hots for me. I’m flattered. I also use that sexual tension to my benefit. I can always get my gay clients to work harder for me if I flirt with them. Which is not hard to do, because they’re all nice guys. It’s harmless, of course and I know they’re never offended, so it works for everyone.

But I got to tell you my interest in this Jeff guy was too much for me to resist. I had to see for myself if he and I looked anything alike. I went home one afternoon, googled the site and discovered we could be brothers. DAMN! You gotta give this guy credit, because he’s been pullin’ his pud on camera for years. And I’m sure he has this huge gay following. You GO, Jeff.spunklube

Fast-forward to last month when Dr Dick whips out this bottle of SPUNK Lube Hybrid, and asks me if I’d like to give it a spin. I said, “Sure, why the fuck not?” Then he tells me that this stuff come from this guy he knows in the porn industry, named Jeff, who runs this site called STR8cam. What do you know; now there’s two degrees of separation between me and my online look-alike. So I ask the good doctor, “Hey, do you think this Jeff guy and I look alike? The reason I ask is, one of my clients turned me on to his site about a year ago, because he said I looked like him.” Dr Dick said, “Come to think of it, I guess there is a resemblance.” If that don’t beat all!

So here’s to you, Jeff, my bro from a different mother.

SPUNK Lube Hybrid is my new favorite lube. I mean, it stands to reason that someone who beats his meat for a living would know his way around lube, but this stuff is better than good. The first thing you need to know is it looks and feels just like a guy’s nut. A few drops of SPUNK Lube has the same consistency and viscosity of my own load. I tell ya, if you warm SPUNK Lube a bit, like in a bowl of warm water, I defy you to tell the difference between your jizz and SPUNK Lube, it’s that realistic.
Full Review HERE!

Next we hear from Dr Dick Review Crew Members, Denise & Ken who have the Best Product or Toy for couplesThe Moodsign and Card Game —— $39.99

Denise & Ken
Ken: “When Dr Dick asked us to review the Moodsign, I asked him; ‘what the hell is it?’ He said, “well, it’s not a sex toy, per se, but it is a device that is supposed to help a couple communicate about sex. And it comes with a card game that looks like fun. Would you guys like to give it a try?’”moodsign-packaging-front
Denise: “I glanced over at Ken while Dr Dick was telling us this. And I thought Ken’s eyes were going to roll out of his head. He does the eye-rolling thing so often; I don’t think he knows how obvious he’s being. So before Ken could open his mouth again, I chimed in and said, ‘sure, we’d be happy to review it.’ Ken nudged me and flashed that ‘are you serious?’ look at me. I pretended not to notice.”
Ken: “Ok, so maybe I was being a little transparent, but I couldn’t imagine how a gadget which lights up was gonna get me laid more often. And lets be honest, that’s what we’re talkin’ about here, right?”
Denise: “Tactful! But I did see his point. Ken and I both love sex, but our schedules are such that we often miss opportunities to have a little fun because we can’t read one another’s mind. I thought, if the Moodsign did nothing more than help us with that, it would be a winner.”
Ken: “Well, when she puts it like that, I began to understand. Maybe this is a good place to stop and tell you what the Moodsign is. It’s a sleek hard plastic thing that stand, about 5” tall. It has two clear plastic arms, one on each side, that can be raised to make a signal. Additionally, the arms light up, (powered by 3-AAA batteries, not included) and can be cycled through several different colors. Once I got over myself, I began to see how something as simple as this could actually make a huge difference in letting Denise know that I’m up for a little slap and tickle, I was sold.”moodsign-rabbit-style
Denise: “Listen, I already know that Ken is ‘up’ for ‘it’ just about all the time, but now I had a way of signaling to him that I too was ‘up’ for ‘it’ and I could even be really specific about the kind of ‘it’ I might be up for. This was a game changer. Once Ken and I familiarized ourselves with the Moodsign, we decided to map out our own secret code for one another. Since the lighted arms can point down, outward, and up, we decided that this would signify our interest in and availability for some kind of sexual intimacy. If Ken was hot to go, he’d raise his lighted arm all the way up. I could then respond by raising my lighted arm to ‘hot-to-go,’ ‘maybe,’ or ‘not now, but thanks for asking.’”
Ken: “And then we designated a code for the colored lights to correspond to the kind of intimacy we were into — ‘cuddling,’ ‘making-out,’ ‘sensual massage,’ ‘fucking,’ that sort of thing.”
Denise: “I suggested that we reserve one color for non-sexual communication, like when we get into argument. We could signal to one another that we are ready to talk about whatever it was that set us off. The more we used the Moodsign, the more versatile it became. I found it really delightful and amazingly helpful.”
Ken: “You want to know what I like best? I like that Denise and I can pretty much carry on this really dirty conversation with one another right in front of the kids and they remain clueless. I mean, they’ve seen us fiddle around with the Moodsign, but I just told them it had something to do with work and they were fine with that.”
Full Review HERE!

Finally, we have a tie for Best Product or Toy for Men

Jack & Karen bring us — VërSpanken Bumpy — $31.29 and VërSpanken Water Wieners — $24.99

VërSpanken001

Jack & Karen
Karen: “My goodness, it’s been over a year since our last review. Where does the time go? We were busy with a move and then we welcomed a baby boy, our first, into our family. No wonder we’ve been out of the loop for so long.”
Jack: “Well, we’re glad to be back. And we have an amazing product to tell you about. It’s called a VërSpanken. I have the bumpy one, but it also comes in smooth and wavy. I’ll get to that in a minute.”
Karen: “I was kinda hoping we’d get a couple-oriented product as our first toy of the new year, so I was a little disappointed when I discovered the VërSpanken is toy for guys. That’s what I thought until I took a closer look.”
Jack: “It’s true, the VërSpanken is a male masturbation toy, but Karen and I have been using it together and having a ball. I only wish I had this thing that last couple of months of Karen’s pregnancy. I wouldn’t have worn out my hand quite so much.”VER-SPANKEN-WAVY-WITH-FOAMWIENERS-SOLID-PURPLE
Karen: “Since the baby I haven’t been feeling as sexy as I used to. I’m so glad my libido is slowly returning. But I still don’t often feel like getting involved in full-on sex and that’s where the VërSpanken really comes in handy. I don’t have to leave Jack high and dry just because I don’t feel like sex.”
Jack: “Ok, I think it’s high time for us to tell you everything you need to know about the VërSpanken. I know this is gonna sound weird, but my initial impression was that it looked like this big alien pussy.”
Karen: “He was looking at it vertically, but if you turn it sideways and look at it horizontally, it looks like a big alien mouth. It’s actually pretty comical.”
Jack: “Karen’s right! I guess you can tell I had pussy on the brain when I first saw the VërSpanken. That’s what happens when you go without for so long. Anyhow, there’s this black hard plastic housing that is hinged at the base and snaps shut at the top. When you open the black plastic case you see two foam inserts. These inserts come in three fun vibrant colors and three textures. These inserts are made of TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber).”
Karen: “Here’s how it works. You open the bwater wienerslack plastic housing, lube up the deliciously spongy inserts, put your man’s penis between them and close the housing once again. It looks hilarious, but it drove Jack crazy with pleasure. The inserts make an encompassing sensation. You can move it up and down over the penis or twist it from side to side.”
Jack: “It’s true! It’s totally wacky, but oh so effective. Pumping my dick in and out of the VërSpanken is a kick. It’s so tight and the sensations are fantastic. I’ve used a few masturbation sleeves in the past, but I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s a one-size-fits-all kind a thing, and for once that claim is actually true. No matter the size of your cock, the VërSpanken will work for you.”
Karen: “But that’s not all! Along with the VërSpanken we also got two additional inserts called Water Wieners. Here’s where it really gets fun. The Water Wieners are like water balloons that you can heat or chill before popping them into the black plastic housing. This adds to the sensation play. One evening last week I blindfolded Jack and restrained his hands so he couldn’t touch his penis. I replaced the bumpy foam inserts with the warmed Water Wieners, lubed up the VërSpanken, and slipped it over his erection. I thought he was going to hit the roof.”
Full Review HERE!

Greg brings us — ARMOUR UP —— $19.56

Greg
My friend Trevor invited me to visit him in Palm Springs a few weeks ago. He promised lots of pool parties and sex. As it turned out, the weather was perfect. Upper 70’s and low 80’s, basically sizzlin’ for this pasty Seattleite. Not that extreme hot, like it is in the summer. I had a ball!armour up02

Here’s the thing, I sometimes get a little self-conscious about the size of my package when wearing Speedos. I mean, I’m a grower not a shower. Does that sound shallow? Ok, so maybe I am.

Just before I left, Dr Dick turned me on to a new product from Perfect Fit Brand. It’s called ARMOUR UP. I’ve been hoping to score one of their products since I read the review of their now infamous Fat Boy. They are also the maker of the Cruiser Cockring, which we’ve also reviewed. And I mention that because ARMOUR UP is a cockring too, but it’s like no other cockring I’ve ever used or worn.

ARMOUR UP is a teardrop shaped design. While the shape is nothing new; I have this kick ass stainless steel one that is beautiful, but a bitch to put on and take off. And despite the fact that it look great on my junk, all shiny and shit, its uncomfortable to wear for long periods of time. In fact, I thought the ARMOUR UP one was gonna be the same way. I was so wrong!

armour up04ARMOUR UP is made of an ultra-stretchy and resilient material called PF Blend, which is a combination of silicone and TPR (a thermoplastic elastomer). It is easy-on and easy-off and it is so fuckin’ comfortable, I can wear it for hours at a time. And you know I did under my Speedos.

The teardrop design is unique because not only does it do what every good cockring should do, slightly constrict your cock (and balls) so that blood flows into your dick, but doesn’t flow out as easily, thus making a nice sturdy erection. It also has this tab on the base, with a bump on it, which slings back behind your nuts and lands on your “taint.” That’s your perineum, that patch of skin, full of nerve endings, between your asshole and your balls. So there’s all this extra stimulation goin’ on by just wearing the thing.

While the ARMOUR UP teardrop shape is not new, it takes the design to a completely new level. It’s revolutionary anatomical shape is so unique! Once you have this thing on it actually makes your cock and balls protrude away from your crotch. And its slim design feels so good.

I put on the clear ARMOUR UP ring (it comes in two colors, clear and black) and then slipped into a pair of electric blue Speedos and stood in front of the mirror to check it out. DAMN, I was rockin’ this shit out. The silky feel of the material of the Speedos on my prominent dick head was giving me a nice little stiffy. I fuckin’ loved it. Now I looked like a shower, not just a grower.

I waltzed into kitchen where Trevor was putting some beers into a cooler and he took one look at me and dropped his jaw. “Hun, what you got goin’ on down there?” I just winked and said: “It’s my little secret. Besides, you’re such a size queen!” And he said; “Well at least I’m honest. You know what they say; there are only two kinds of men—size queens and liars.”

I just want you to know that I gave Trevor the black ARMOUR UP as a thank you gift for hosting me for the weekend. You should see what it does for his big black dick. It was kinda obscene!
Full Review HERE!

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